Useless self-sacrifice
You ignore your own needs for the sake of others, but the world simply does not notice. And even if people insult you, you consider yourself to blame. This approach will inevitably lead to people frustrating you over and over again. Don't be afraid to tell the world if you don't like something. This will help you attract people with the same interests as you. On the other hand, unnecessary self-sacrifice most often goes unnoticed.
Lack of self-esteem
You don't seem to feel when other people are being rude to you, or you just turn a blind eye to these "little inconveniences." But a naturally rude person will never love or respect you for this. So why do you continue to tolerate this? If someone acts like they don't care about you, then it really is true. Don't make excuses for rude people. Respect yourself.
Very fast and tasty: lazy whites are exactly what you need during the hot season
I considered my role in “Friends” to be my curse: Jennifer Aniston's revelations
In the USA, a barista refused to serve a woman without a mask and suddenly became rich
Short tips
Don't judge others for their mistakes, and you will be judged less.
Change yourself to see these changes in your environment and throughout the world.
One person can influence thousands of others through his transformation.
Be happy and make others happy so that life can be wonderful for those around you.
Try to be cheerful and humorous.
People love someone who can make them laugh heartily. However, depending on the situation, sometimes you can do without humor, for example, when a person needs consolation.
If someone is crying, find out why, find out what happened, and how you could help them improve the situation.
Don't suck up to people if they give you hints to stay away from them.
There are many other people who will readily appreciate your jokes.
Don't yell at people, and stop telling them that they are stupid, and also humiliating them if they don't understand something right away.
Be patient with everyone.
Don't put yourself first all the time.
Think about others too, see how you can be helpful in their situations.
Treat others the way you want them to treat you.
Please be honest.
Try to stop using lies in your communication with others.
Maintain inner calm all the time, trying to avoid provocation and extinguish conflicts without leading to a fight.
It directly depends on your internal state.
Work through all your internal conflicts and fears, and you will see how you will be treated completely differently.
Always respect yourself.
Even if you are currently a good, friendly and tactful person, do not let people get on your neck.
Respect the freedom and space of others.
There are people who value their personal space, leave them alone if they move away from you as soon as you approach them.
Some people just don't like anyone.
Don't let them influence your mood, even if these people still don't like you. There are still many good people who can become your friends.
Stop being a sufferer.
If you are ready to love and respect yourself, then, of course, adequate people, not all, will love you and make you a happier person.
You depend on the approval of others
People who have a pathological need for approval from others subconsciously give off signals that something is wrong with them. But those around them do not want to communicate with people who are somehow different from them. Stop expecting praise. You don't need to hear about how good a person you are to actually be one. And don't be afraid of criticism. People will criticize you for almost everything for one reason or another. Your opinion of yourself should always be the most important.
How does disrespect manifest itself?
How to understand that you are not respected?
Lack of respect can look different, as can its causes.
A disdainful attitude towards your personality can be caused by both objective factors, that is, your negative actions, and subjective ones, when a person has formed an opinion about you based on other people’s reviews or because he is jealous.
Also, respect can be frankly open, expressed directly: in words, actions, gestures.
Or it can be hidden, when a person is looking for benefits, and therefore does not want to show disdain openly.
The most common signs :
- Open hostility. The easiest way to state the fact of disrespect. They interrupt you and go into conflict when trying to find out the reasons for such behavior. During a conversation, they do not listen, switching to other people or going about their own business.
- Constant criticism. Remarks that do not relate to specific actions. Most often, a person simply has a negative attitude towards you and does not analyze actions, their causes and consequences. He doesn’t care whether you did the right thing, since the only motive for his attack is to stroke his pride.
- Gesticulation . Varies depending on the type of disrespect. Hidden gestures - inattention, a blank, distracted gaze, “sticking” to your smartphone while you speak. Open - demonstrative ridicule, head shaking.
- Disputes and denial of objective rightness. When you express a point of view, supported by real facts or experiences, and in response you hear that this is nonsense, nonsense, nonsense. They don’t take your opinion into account, they argue, they try to sabotage decisions already made. In fact, there is open opposition to your authority.
- Your time is not valued. This is expressed in a wide range of actions. People are late for pre-arranged meetings or are in no hurry to show up. When they try to overwhelm you with other people’s affairs, believing that you have nothing better to do than rush to solve the problems of others.
Time is the central, main resource of every person, and a free, easy attitude to your affairs is a clear sign of disrespect.In other cases, it is a marker of an irresponsible, superficial infantile who does not value either his own time or that of others.
- They don't give you favors for favors. Let’s say that in the not-too-distant past you helped a person solve a problem that was important to him. But now, turning to him for help, you are refused. At the same time, the interlocutor does not name any important, serious reasons for refusing you, Fr. However, this can also be expressed in small matters. Such situations are a reason to wonder if you are being taken advantage of. This is a manifestation of hidden disrespect.
- Lack of live contact. If a loved one regularly refuses, reschedule the meeting, citing factors that are weak for refusal. The main criterion is the frequency of failures in a row. This suggests that your company is not so important for a person and he considers other types of leisure more interesting. This also includes situations when you are part of a gathering without you. That is, you are not notified in any way about the meeting, and if you are caught in such a situation, strange phrases like “We forgot to call you” or “We thought you were very busy” are given.
- Offensive jokes. Poking fun at you is a hidden, passive act of disrespect. Especially if you have already said that such an attitude hurts you.
You look for the source of problems only within yourself
You automatically assume that everyone around you is right, except when it comes to yourself. You believe that you yourself are responsible for everything that happens around you. Remember that no one will thank you for this, but they may take advantage of you and make your life even more difficult. Finding the culprits is a thankless task. It will bring you neither love nor pity. Instead, focus your efforts on finding a solution to the problem.
“Male” fun and more: 7 ways to strengthen your bond with your son
Tonality and wallpaper: a woman transformed a boring bedroom into a cozy boudoir
The house looks like a huge concrete box: in fact it is spacious and bright
How to Avoid Toxic People
We have found out which people you should avoid and who you shouldn’t communicate with. And if you have learned to identify toxic people, then you have practically protected yourself from their influence.
Now it’s just a matter of small things – you need to learn to say “no”. Instill self-respect. Don't let anyone manipulate you and take away your powers. Otherwise, there simply won’t be enough “blood” for all the “vampires.”
Boasting
If you constantly try to emphasize your strengths and ask for respect, then you are in a dependent relationship. The more you try to convince others that you are a good person, the more often you will receive refusal. Even if you really are.
You can show others that you are worth something only if you sincerely believe in it. If you know your worth, you won't need to prove it to anyone.
Fear of Rejection
You don't want to upset anyone, even if it means inconvenience to you. You pretend that everything is fine so that others won't worry if you're not happy with something. As a result, you are very often dissatisfied with what is happening around you.
Don't be afraid to say no. Even the best people in the world can try to take advantage of you if you let them. Help others only if you really want to.
Superbad" - excellent: 5 best and 5 worst comedies of the early 21st century
New iOS 14 app will completely change the way you use your iPhone
New rules in the world of beauty: natural curly hair is trending
Ignoring one's own interests
You are used to adapting to the needs of other people, so it is difficult for you to understand your own desires. You yourself cannot decide what to do, so you always listen to outside opinions. If you are unable to make decisions and feel helpless, other people are unlikely to respect you. Learn to listen to your own desires and do not be afraid that you may offend others. Most likely, your fears are far from reality, and you can always find a compromise.
You cannot define the boundaries of what is permitted
You always forgive others, because it is easier to do than to stand up for yourself. Even if others disrespect you, you make excuses for them. It is important to define your own boundaries of acceptable behavior so that you do not allow others to cross them with you. People who allow everything do not command respect.
Without flour and yeast: I often make pizza from zucchini. They forgot about the classic
“Food is my friend, not the enemy of my figure”: pregnancy changed my attitude towards food
The family renovated the old house - now it is difficult to recognize it (before and after photos)
Fear of loneliness
You turn your relationship into a cult, sacrificing yourself. Moreover, doing this makes you feel comfortable. Perhaps this is why you only meet bullies, narcissists and selfish people, because you allow yourself to be used.
You shouldn't have to choose between your relationship and your self-esteem. If you have to make this choice, something has gone wrong. Be bold and don't be afraid of change. Think of solitude as freedom, and you will never be on your own for long.
The main types of energy vampires or which people to avoid
There is the following opinion that the character, emotions, level of development of each of us is formed by five people. Those people with whom we spend the most time interacting. Open your phone or the social network you are using and analyze the list of contacts at the top. If one of the toxic energy vampires becomes part of “your” five, good for you. Perhaps everything is not so critical and fatal, but you are guaranteed to slow down your own personal development.
It is very, very difficult to distance yourself from such a person when he has already become part of the circle of people close to you. From which it follows that it is worthwhile to bring this person to clean water from the very beginning. In order to know the enemy by sight, you need to find out what he might look like.
Which people should you avoid? 10 types
Let's try to recognize the enemy by sight. Avoid those who fall into one of the following categories:
Gossip.
By washing the bones of another person, the gossiper seems to take pleasure in the problems and failures of others. It may seem that exchanging a few words on the topic of someone’s mistake is not scary, but over time it develops into useless gossip. Even if you are here as a passive listener, you are already hooked. You should avoid such conversations as soon as possible and spend your freed time on something pleasant and life-affirming.
Temperamental.
This person is capable of pouring out such a volume of emotions (often not at all positive) on his interlocutor in a matter of minutes that this same interlocutor will be unsettled and broken for the rest of the day. The most interesting thing is that people with such emotional pressure can simply throw out all their tension, “transferring” it to you. But tell me, is this good for you?
Victim.
The type is complex and not so obvious. Often such a person simply “pours out his soul” to his interlocutor. And the interlocutor even sincerely feels sorry for the person, listening to him and giving advice. But, as practice shows, the victim does not need such advice at all. She just likes to be a victim, constantly looking for free ears. The toxicity of this type lies in the fact that he simply dumps all his problems on your head, making you now overloaded and emotionally exhausted.
Obsessed.
Who you shouldn’t communicate with is those who are overly self-obsessed. A self-obsessed person constantly compares himself to others, seeing himself from the position of “constantly worse.” The thinking of such people drags down not only themselves, but also those around them. At the same time, there is a downside to an obsessive person - narcissism. Well, do you understand that you will always be worse than him?
Manipulator.
Answering the question “which people to avoid?” One cannot help but remember the manipulator. The manipulator always only uses you, sometimes being able to veil everything well. First he conquers you, then he takes advantage of your kindness and attention. It is important to recognize manipulation at first, this is especially important for girls who can easily become victims of a manipulative man.
An envious person.
This type will not only have a depressing effect, but will never be able to share your joy. An envious person will always devalue your achievements and victories, successfully demotivating you.
Dementor.
Yes, like the ones in the saga about the wizard Harry Potter. By imposing his pessimistic point of view on the surrounding reality on his interlocutor, this type sucks all the juice out of his victim. You are slowly but surely plunging into a world full of despondency and anger, firmly believing that the world cannot be different, and the glass is inevitably always half empty. And the most you can fill it with is your fears and anxieties.
Pest.
That person who does some dirty tricks, sometimes hidden, in order to cause a surge of negativity in you. This is the most obvious and characteristic representative of energy vampires who derive pleasure from the fact that someone is worse off than him. Feeding on other people's emotions is part of life for him, without which he does not feel happy. Fortunately, this type is easiest to recognize and get rid of at the first stages of communication.
Haughty.
This type creates an aura of false confidence, trying to establish itself at the expense of others. They are often insecure and mask their problems behind a mask of arrogance and self-aggrandizement. Communication with such a person is not only impractical, but also often carries significant risks. They predict failure in advance in everything you do, planting doubts about your success in your mind.
Critic.
It is dangerous because it can distort your preferences and views in such a way that you yourself will feel uncomfortable for them. Has something in common with an arrogant person, since he is also able to assert himself at the expense of others. The critic will certainly tell you how to do it, no matter whether he was asked or not. And he sees it as his indispensable task to prove to you that your opinion is wrong.
You think respect has to be earned
You agree that respect should be a result of action or behavior. As a result, you do not feel comfortable if your relationship with someone is equal because you strongly believe that respect must be earned. You think that a person has value only if they have done something.
The truth is that love or respect cannot be “bought.” Learn to love and be loved unconditionally, and your relationships with other people will become much easier.
Found a violation? Report content
Energy vampirism. Reality or popular fiction?
Unfortunately, it's not fiction. There is no place for magic and mysticism here. In its own way, everything is extremely simple. It just so happens that in nature there are certain types of personalities whose communication with them leaves an unpleasant aftertaste. This residue is expressed in a negative emotional background, a feeling of inferiority, suddenly appearing nervousness or manifestations of aggression.
Life confronts us with different people. Sometimes you have to communicate with a person (work colleague or casual acquaintance) regardless of whether you like him or not. Simply, if possible, you should protect yourself from contacts with those and avoid those people who are able to “take away” your energy.
Alas, such “toxic” people do not have specific identification marks on their clothes. They do not wear gas masks or bright yellow emblems indicating their danger. And they don’t hold Ogonyok magazine in their hand either.
Therefore, you have to learn to calculate them yourself. But over time, it is not difficult to acquire the experience necessary to detect them in society.
Why are these people called toxic? Because they have the ability to poison your life. This does not always happen consciously, even for themselves, but nevertheless it is worth significantly minimizing the degree of contacts and conversations with such individuals. Who you shouldn’t communicate with is them.
