Rules for the life of successful people: 10 immutable commandments

Spiritual laws of life. A very important and necessary topic.

If we take a house as an analogy, we are talking about the foundation. If the state is about its laws, without which it is impossible.

This is a very clear example. Why is it important? Because the topic of this article may seem completely unimportant and insignificant to many.

But try to imagine a house that was built on bare ground without a foundation? What will happen to him after a while? How long will it last? Remember the fairy tale about the three little pigs?

If you have already decided to build a house, then build it thoroughly according to all the rules and laws . And since we were born, then let’s live according to the laws of the world in which we have the good fortune to be.

• How to find the meaning of life?

Otherwise, your whole life will be nothing more than a straw house that will fly apart at any blow of the breeze. And it will constantly need to be patched or completely rebuilt.

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Spiritual laws are the basis on which life must be built.

Then neither winds, nor earthquakes, nor floods, nor droughts will be terrible. Your house of life will withstand everything and it will not matter to it.

Problems, stress, disappointments, resentments, betrayals, losses - nothing can shake the house of your life, because it will stand on a solid foundation.

By the way: you can read how to find peace of mind here, I can also advise where it’s best to relieve stress.

• How to stop being nervous and start living?

We need to look not at the outside of our world, which is constant and changeable, but inside ourselves - where everything comes from and where everything goes... To spiritual laws , which are eternal, constant and independent of any external circumstances.

Having built our lives according to these laws, we learn to see the external world in a completely different way and to perceive everything that happens in it differently, on a different level.

Spiritual laws, rules of life, cannot simply be taken and learned. These are not at all the rules to which we are accustomed.

Write “Zhi” and “shi” with the letter “i”. Memorized, memorized and that’s enough. But I can’t help but say that I once discovered the great power of words and language. I am happy to share this here.

Spiritual laws have a different nature and can only be understood by observing them and living by them. The more and more often we try to live according to the laws of the soul, the deeper and stronger we realize and understand their essence. The wider and stronger our connection with the inner world, with the soul, with God becomes.

Where do we start?

To understand what these laws are, you need to turn to religion, which, as they say, is “responsible” for the spiritual component of a person, although sometimes it is religion that is used for their own purposes by those who benefit from it. But that’s not about that now.

You need to be very careful with religion, because you can often encounter extremes and closedness, which can be dangerous without understanding why and why.

I defined it this way for myself. I follow what resonates in my soul , where I see the meaning and do not feel deception, falsehood, lies and substitution of concepts.

I do not understand the closedness of many religious teachings to other directions. That is, everything that is not from here is a lie, it is a myth, it is fiction and the road to nowhere. My understanding of true faith is here.

It is important for me not only to learn the laws of the soul, but also to understand why they are needed, why I should follow them . And this reason should not be a foreign body that I must accept simply because I have to.

No. This should be clear at the level of reason, at the level of intuition, there should be no resistance or rejection.

That is why I will start with Christianity and move on. Because it is in this religion, namely in its interpretation for ordinary people, that I see a problem for myself and these very rejections and misunderstandings.

Although in its essence Christianity is beautiful. As you read the Bible, each time you will discover more and more new meanings both for the world around you and for yourself.

Where do they come from?

If you carefully study history from ancient times to modern days, you will see that people have always obeyed certain laws. Initially they were explained by the demands of the gods. With the development of monoreligions, sets of strict rules began to appear, for compliance with which a good afterlife was promised.

The rules of life began to change with the development of society. People stopped following only religious instructions and realized the value of human life. Throughout time, there have been many leaders, speakers and other skilled individuals who have served as a guide for the masses.

In the 21st century, people find themselves in a twofold situation. On the one hand, there are certain social requirements that depend on the place of residence of the individual. He is obliged to comply with them, on the other hand, a person has the opportunity to choose how to live. For example, leading a healthy lifestyle is a right, but not an obligation. If an individual adheres to such principles, then he lives longer and better.

At the same time, a person can become an adherent of a certain culture and comply with the necessary requirements. In some situations, people prefer to build their own system of rules and be based on personal experience.

In the area of ​​self-requirements, there cannot be one correct system. Each person develops his own model of achieving a good level of existence. Therefore, you cannot blindly rely on someone’s ideas.

Christianity.

The main spiritual laws in Christianity.

What can be called the main law in Christianity?

That's right, commandments. Ten Commandments of Christianity.

What confuses me? No, not in the commandments themselves, of course, they in their essence carry the truth of life. I'm talking about causes and consequences, about conditions, about crime and punishment.

The commandments must be strictly observed, otherwise the soul will go to hell. They are thereby, as it were, torn away from our life on Earth. We must because there will be punishment after death.

Well, death is still perceived by a person in isolation from life. This is something we don’t want to think about because we want to live and not die. And we cannot as clearly and concretely perceive the punishments that may await us beyond the threshold of life, beyond which anything at all may await us. And it is very difficult to project what will happen next, behind the fog of ideas and expectations, onto real life.

Therefore, the commandments are perceived by us as being in isolation from our real life on earth. They are sometimes perceived simply as a deterrent.

But their meaning is still in our development and spiritual growth.

That is, we can say that we are forced to perform - led by the fear of punishment . There is no deep understanding of why . There is a lack of integrity in understanding. A negative attitude is formed.

In plain language, let’s just say that I don’t like the presentation of these great laws of human life.

The meaning of their observance should be closer to the person right here and now.

That's why I said at the very beginning of the article that this topic may not be at all important for many of us. And to be more precise, it is not recognized as important because it is cut off from us.

The commandments are there, in religion, in monasteries, in churches, but here I am, I need to live. If you want to live, know how to move around.

Let us still take Christian spiritual laws as a basis, because the value of the commandments is unspeakably high. And with this basis, let's move on and see what we can find in other traditions and religions. Maybe we can find something important there.

I’ll say right away that I found it for myself.

Ten Commandments of Christianity.

You can easily find God's commandments on the Internet. Let's look on Wikipedia.

Since there are more than one religions on Earth, in order not to offend anyone, let’s note for ourselves only those commandments that speak about a person’s relationship to himself and to the world around him (this is exactly what we are looking for today - spiritual laws of life ).

But let’s omit those commandments that talk about the name of God, about honoring God, about the days of the week, and so on. Today I am trying to find commonality, and not the other way around.

• Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
• Dont kill.
• Don't commit adultery.
• Don't steal.
• Do not bear false witness against your neighbor.
• Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house; You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.

So, to love and honor our father and mother - our life is extended by following this law.

Don't kill. What is important is that there are no additional notes here that some people are still allowed, but others are not. For example, people are not allowed, but animals are allowed. No. Don't kill at all. Very clear.

Don't commit adultery. That is, do not cheat on your wife or husband. Again, without explanations or additions. Everything is very clear.

I have an interesting article about abstaining from sex, which turns out to be necessary.

Don't steal and don't lie. Don't covet anything that belongs to others.

In addition to the commandments, there are eight main sins in Christianity. We must definitely note them and under no circumstances miss them.

Gluttony, fornication, greed, anger, sadness, despondency, vanity, pride are also things that should not be done.

Before reading further, you may want to take a moment to think about which of these are present in your life.

So, these were the main spiritual laws of the life of a Christian.

The price of time

But the basic tips don’t end there. The rules of rich and successful people say that everyone should value their time. It’s just that it can’t be stopped or brought back.

It is recommended to plan your day and schedule it hourly. Next, stick to a specific schedule. And of course, do not get distracted and do not deviate from the planned plan. Did you manage to get everything done faster than you wanted? Great! You can either exceed the norm or relax.

Some people say: “Time is money.” If you want to become rich, then so be it. After all, for the wasted time, you could have done something that would bear fruit in the future.

Buddhism.

Spiritual laws of Buddhism.

Let's move on to Buddhism. What do we find in this ancient Eastern tradition.

We also see the Ten Commandments . I will reflect here everything except the last one, which, as in the case of Christianity, directs us further to the symbols of Buddhism itself with its features as a faith.

Don't kill.

Don't steal.

Don't commit adultery.

Do not lie or slander.

So far there is an absolute coincidence with Christianity. Let's look further.

Do not use intoxicating substances. What do we mean by such substances? It's alcohol, smoking, drugs, right? Our body is perfect and our perception of the world only worsens under the influence of alcohol and tobacco, and not vice versa, as we think. It’s just that, in fact, we are accustomed to perceiving this world very superficially and incompletely, I would say. But it is possible to develop subtle and vivid perception without intoxicating substances.

I can recommend meditation. In particular, a simple breathing meditation, Tonglen meditation, which is practiced by the Dalai Lama. And here I must definitely mention pranayama and one of the pranayama techniques.

Don't gossip about other Buddhists. I left it too because the emphasis here is on gossip and not on Buddhists. The word Buddhist can be safely replaced with “man”. Don't gossip!

Do not exalt yourself and do not humiliate others. In other words, arrogance.

Don't be stingy with those in need. In other words, compassion and generosity.

Do not hold a grudge and do not incite evil.

Also in Buddhism there are pramitas - six actions that, when performed, lead a person to enlightenment - the highest point of spiritual development.

Six Pramitas of Buddhism.

Generosity. Agree that most people are greedy and greedy. Generosity is a completely opposite concept.

The law of karma always exists, no matter what. (here is an article about karma) It is by showing generosity to the world around you and to those living in it that you can fully experience the manifestation of the world’s generosity towards you.

Ethics. It means understanding and realizing the meaning of your life. Not to live meaninglessly, thoughtlessly, but to understand why, and learn to understand what to do in order to live like this.

Patience. In everything.

Zeal. Down with laziness. We believe in our success, we believe in ourselves, we are not afraid to work and work towards our goal. And patience will help us.

Meditation. Develops calmness and concentration. It teaches you how to work with your own mind, a new vision of the world opens, and a deep sense of unity between yourself and God comes. The answer to why meditate is here.

Wisdom. This is the result of the previous five actions. After all, the meaning is in their sequence and interconnectedness. Opening up an understanding of the essence of the universe. Everything is one, everything is one. It is impossible to read and understand this. The sixth pramita can only be achieved by fully observing the first five.

Look, there is already a principle of interconnection here! , what is important. That is, there is an understanding of the meaning in what we do, there is a goal. Great.

Let's take a brief look at Taoism and Hinduism.

Cheat Sheet for Success

What are the 10 rules of a successful person that help many achieve what they want? All of the above can be written down in the form of a small reminder. It will serve as a good assistant in achieving one or another goal.

The memo may look like this:

1. Work, work and work again. Hard work is rewarded.
2. Rest is as important as hard work.
3. Envy is the key to failure.
4. Time is money. There is no need to waste it.
5. Planning is the key to successfully completing things.
6. Calm helps you move towards your goal.
7. You need to learn to forgive. And don’t offend your loved ones.
8. Learn to say “no” to excuses.
9. Surround yourself with successful people.
10. Show persistence and perseverance.

Hinduism and its spiritual rules.

Ten Precepts.

Patience.

Forgiveness.

Self-control and self-restraint. This is otherwise called asceticism. I have an article about this. This prescription, in my opinion, is very general. That is, it also concerns patience and, for example, from Christianity, gluttony, anger, lust (adultery). Many of the rules and commandments require self-restraint and self-control from us.

Don't steal.

Honesty and purity.

Sexual control and control of passions. Sexual energy is the basis of your development and success. Did you know about this? You can find out in the article on the website.

Knowledge of the truths of the sacred scriptures and spiritual knowledge.

Liberation from the evil within yourself.

Of the five basic commandments, we, on the same principle as above, can only take:

«Complete safety of all living beings»

Don't be jealous

The basic rules of a successful person indicate that you should not look with envy at the achievements of other people. Envy is bad. This means attracting negativity to yourself. Accordingly, it will only worsen a person’s situation. You will have to remember this.

If someone has achieved great heights, most likely, this person showed more perseverance and determination. There is room for improvement! Instead of dependence, you should learn to understand that more successful people set examples to follow.

Laws of spiritual life in Taoism.

Ten Rules of Taoism

Dont kill.

Elimination of lust.

Do not steal.

Tell the truth.

Be sober, clean.

Honor your ancestors.

Help those who do good. Do good accordingly.

Help the unlucky and you will find good luck . Still, this rule does not quite fit the concept of fundamental. Still, the key word here is “Help.” And this was just in the previous rule.

No revenge.

Be patient and persistent

Success doesn't come immediately. When you see the results that other people have achieved, it will help to make it seem very simple, but what you see is the tip of the iceberg. Any success is the result of many years of work on yourself and your projects.

You must pursue your goal to the end and never stop halfway, otherwise you will not achieve success. You need to learn to think long-term. Learn to delay pleasure for later gain. Exactly the benefits you dream of.

Spiritual laws of life in yoga. Yama and Niyama.

Rules of life in yoga. Target.

I want to end with Yama and Niyama because it is important for me to have a clear MEANING and PURPOSE of these rules. And it was in yoga that I found what I was looking for in full, or, let’s say, in a form and interpretation that was understandable to me.

I’ll immediately give you a link to an article about yoga.

So finally, yoga. Yama and Niyama.

Before defining the rules of Yama and Niyama and trying to combine everything that we received above into one set of rules, let's define this.

In yoga, the meaning, the reason for performing Yama and Niyama is very clearly given. Personally, I accepted this meaning for myself and offer it to you.

There is a famous work by the great Patanjali, where he outlined the essence of the “eightfold path” of yoga. The ultimate goal of this path is a state known as Samadhi.

In simple words, it is the achievement of complete unity with the Almighty. A state when that which alienates God from us is overcome and dissolved. The power of time and space is broken.

This is the state of realizing the Lord, superconsciousness. In this state, the yogi can leave the body and return to it again whenever he wants. In fact, death, which does not exist for the soul, is defeated.

Yoga, in short, is the path to God. Every soul created by God has as its main goal the desire for Him and knowledge of Him, overcoming the limitations and delusions associated with life on earth.

The soul can go to the Goal for many lives. This is a very long path and on it she learns everything that can be known. He will experience all the suffering and joy that one can experience. There will be nothing that does not touch the experience of the soul.

But the main goal remains and will always be the knowledge of God, samadhi.

The path of spiritual development.

It is impossible to take today and right now to immerse yourself in this state. We will live life after life. Until one day we realize within ourselves the desire to take the path of spiritual development.

That is, first of all, we must realize for ourselves the need to take the first step. And if such a desire appears, then the soul has come to this, it means it is ready .

And so the soul feels that life as it is, false and inferior, does not suit it. And in the end he realizes the need for spiritual development - a person wants to know his inner world and answer questions concerning his soul. He begins to feel something in himself that, perhaps, he simply did not notice before.

Then we can come to church. Maybe we start reading spiritual literature, maybe we react differently to emerging internal impulses.

But, as I said, at the very beginning, very often we do something without understanding why. But this is also a path. Over time, little by little, everyone will begin to discover this meaning for themselves if they ask and think about it.

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Yama and Niyama are sequential movement.

The Eightfold Path of Yoga contains everything you need. The meaning of any religion is the pursuit of God. But here it is reflected very logically and clearly.

For example, let’s take the third stage of the “path”. Asanas. Something that is very popular today. How many fitness yoga centers are open? Physical exercise through yoga asanas really develops the body, warms it up, pumps blood, and has a positive effect on breathing.

I can recommend a simple but very effective set of Surya Namaskar exercises for a beginner.

But! For the spiritual path, these are simply meaningless actions. Although, as we see, this is the third step on the path to God. And without the first two, asanas are just physical exercise and nothing more. I don’t remember that I developed spiritually in physical education classes at school.

And further, to the fourth stage - pranayama, and further, and further. For those who miss the basis of the spiritual laws of Yama and Niyama, when performing exercises from the third and fourth stages, the doors of new spiritual discoveries will be locked.

As stated above, the rules of the spiritual path are, first of all, practice , thanks to which, through effort and time, we discover a new perception of the world.

And just without this new vision and sensation, we will not be able to catch and notice what Asanas, Pranayama and so on contain. They contain the keys to further spiritual growth, but we simply will not notice them, we will assume that they simply do not exist, because they will be closed to us. We won't be able to see them.

Any path must be filled with meaning.

We can wander away from yoga and face the same thing. You can go to church every weekend and pray regularly. But we will not feel the treasures that are stored in sacred rituals, and prayers will be just words, unable to resurrect the spiritual that is within us.

My article about what and how we believe is very relevant.

This is where the commandments and main sins of Christianity come to the rescue, but they are presented not at all like that, but as rules to avoid hell. What is hell in your understanding? I would be glad to see your opinion in the comments, my opinion is here.

Rest is also good

Nevertheless, this does not mean at all that a person should turn into a draft horse and see nothing except work (including on himself). The rules of successful people in the world indicate that rest is also required.

Stress, tension and constant work give rise to the accumulation of negative emotions and fatigue. Some people may experience depression due to lack of rest. All this, of course, will prevent you from moving towards your goal. Most likely, it will make achieving it impossible.

That is why it is important to learn to relax and not accumulate negativity in yourself. The main thing is that rest is regular. And if everything that was planned for today is done in full, then it’s a sin not to relax. Sometimes, having a good rest, a person can do more than usual. By the way, if you rest and work every day at the same time, then a person’s activity will automatically increase when necessary. And decrease during rest periods. This is a great guarantee of success.

So. Spiritual laws of life in yoga.

Yama and Niyama are the main conditions on the path of spiritual development. This is where you need to start. And if you missed it, then going further is pointless, and maybe even dangerous, because you can be disappointed and see something that is not there, or vice versa.

Pit. 5 rules.

Yama is the first stage of yoga , according to the Yoga Sutras, containing 5 rules for a person’s relationship with the outside world.

1. Nonviolence . Again, the already famous “Thou shalt not kill.”
2. Tell the truth , don't lie.
3. Don't covet someone else's.
4. Control of lust , sexual abstinence, chastity (at least until marriage). Very similar to “Thou shalt not commit adultery”
5. Generosity, non-hoarding , freedom from attachments, things, from other people's opinions, one's own inner freedom and the inviolability of another person's freedom.

Niyama. 5 rules.

Niyama is the second stage of yoga. It contains 5 rules for a person’s relationship with his inner world.

1. Purity of body and mind . That is, hygiene, clean clothes, but at the same time we monitor the purity of our thoughts.
2. Happiness is in the present moment . Here and now. Everything is fine, positive attitude.
3. Self-discipline. Patience, diligence, hard work in spiritual aspirations.
4. Study of scriptures, spiritual books.
5. Accepting God as the goal of life.

Subtotal.

Now let's summarize everything.

This is the final table of spiritual laws according to world religions and traditions.

Christianity	Buddhism	Hinduism	Taoism	Yoga
Dont kill	Don't kill	Don't kill and save life	Dont kill	Dont kill
Do not commit adultery, fornication.	Don't commit adultery	Sexual control	Elimination of Lust	Fighting lust
Don't steal	Don't steal	Don't steal	Don't steal	Don't steal
Do not lie	Do not lie	Honesty. Do not lie	Do not lie	Do not lie
Don't be greedy. Or be generous.	Generosity	Liberation from Evil	Do good and help those who do good	Generosity, non-hoarding, freedom from attachment to things.
Don't give in to anger. Or be kind and calm	Don't drink, don't smoke, don't take drugs	Patience	Be sober	Self-discipline, diligence, patience
Sadness and despondency. Be joyful	Don't gossip	Forgiveness	Don't take revenge. Forgive accordingly.	Striving for spiritual knowledge, reading spiritual literature
Vanity and pride.	Refusal of evil and not inciting evil	The pursuit of spiritual knowledge	Honor your ancestors	Purity of body and mind, purity of thoughts
Honor your father and mother	Understanding the meaning of life	Happiness is here and now
Gluttony. Don't eat too much	Patience, diligence, fight against laziness	The purpose of life is God
Meditation. Calmness and desire to understand your spiritual side

In Christianity, I combined the commandment “do not commit adultery and fornication”, the sins “sadness” and “despondency”, as well as “vanity” and “pride”. I combined “don’t covet someone else’s” and “don’t steal” - I think they are similar in many ways.

I did not write Buddhist “wisdom” - it is rather the result of observing the rules, and not one of them. Made a few more adjustments.

The main laws of life.

In all five religions and traditions under consideration, the first 4 spiritual rules coincide.

This:

DON'T KILL!

Do not encroach on any life. You didn’t create it, and it’s not for you to stop it. A person is not able to create life, he can only have sex, and life arises without his participation. The man is simply a guide. And once again I want to note that there are no notes anywhere that we are talking only about human life.

CONTROL OF SEXUAL DESIRE!

Both in marriage and after it. You have a choice. You can choose the path of chastity. You can practice sexual practices and conserve sexual energy. But you must take control of it.

And first of all, do not cheat on your spouse, exclude promiscuous relationships if you are not married. And stop masturbating and watching pornography. Purity of thoughts also fits here.

DO NOT STEAL!

The law of karma works as it did, whether we believe in it or not, it doesn’t matter to it. If you take someone else’s, then don’t even doubt that you will have to give up yours. What will it be? It is unknown, but it is a fact that it will happen.

DO NOT LIE!

How difficult this is to achieve. It seems to me that everyone is deceiving. Some more, some less.

And I’ll also tell you one interesting thing that, in my opinion, Yogananda Paramahansa said: if you said something but didn’t do it, then you weakened the power of your thoughts.

In fact, it turns out that by doing so we make it clear that our words mean nothing and do not materialize . And in the future, the space will “get used” to the fact that your words are just words and it will be more difficult to achieve what you want. So it is with lies, when our words are not true.

Further we see discrepancies, but at the same time we can notice that all the rules have much in common and the direction is the same, and it is understandable.

Also in Yama and Niyama, according to many sources, there are 10 laws each. And if we write them all down, we will practically fill all the empty spaces.

What else should we include in the fundamental spiritual laws of life, without which spiritual growth and full-fledged success in life are impossible?

KINDNESS AND COMPASSION!

Don't pass by someone who is hurting. Help good people and do good for others.

FORGIVENESS!

Don't hold grudges. Not on anyone and never. Learn to forgive. How many times should I forgive? Leo Tolstoy answered: And if you decide to stop drinking, how many times will you say “no” when they bring you a glass?

HONOR YOUR ANCESTORS!

This is believed to prolong your life on earth. Love your parents and grandparents.

GENEROSITY!

We fight greed and greed. Not being attached to things. After all, human life is short. Everything will come back, there is no other way. Don't doubt it!

HUMILITY! NO VANITY!

All people are equal. There are no those who are higher or lower. Each soul has its own experience in this life. There is one God in each of us. We are all one! There is no point in showing and proving something to each other and showing off your coolness.

If we can prove something, it is only to ourselves and to the One who created us and the world around us. Do the best you can, and everything else is out of your control.

DILIGENCE AND PATIENCE!

In any business, haste does not lead to good. Never give up, go forward, albeit slowly, but step by step.

HAPPINESS HERE AND NOW!

Stop being sad and whining. Everything is really good. Everything is really good, no matter what happens in your life. Everything is fine! Stay calm always.

Find happiness within yourself and then you will find it in everything around you and life will smile at you. Yes, you’ve known all this for a long time, right!? But what good is knowledge that is not applied? Look, the thousand-year-old scriptures say the same thing. And you are probably all looking for something else.

PURITY!

I would include here not only purity as such, but also, for example, gluttony, or, as it is written in the Bible, gluttony. That is, cleanliness of the stomach. We live for the soul, not for the body. The body will die, the soul will not.

Keep your body clean, both outside and inside. Watch what you eat and how much.

SOBRIETY AND DRUG FREEDOM!

What else can I add here? Stop drinking, smoking and whatever else you use.

No excuses

It is worth paying attention to the fact that successful people do not make excuses. Never before anyone. They a priori remain confident, analyze all their mistakes so as not to make them again in the future.

That is why the rules of life for a successful person in most cases indicate that a citizen must get rid of the habit of making excuses. Do not apologize, but rather look for excuses and express them to others. This will not be easy to do, but this is the only way to ultimately achieve certain heights.

Some point out that making excuses in front of people shows a person's insecurity and even vulnerability. Not the best trait of a successful citizen. If someone respects the culprit of a particular event and loves him, then a justification for the actions will be found on its own. And for those who treat a person with disrespect and some kind of disgust, it is useless to prove anything. A long-known fact that everyone will have to remember.

Communication

In this area, there are three practical techniques that have helped Nemco's clients significantly improve personal communication. They can be used in communication and interaction with loved ones, friends, colleagues and people around you:

1. Traffic light . Imagine that while you are talking to someone, a traffic light comes on for you. For the first 30 seconds, the green light is on for you, and you can speak calmly. After these 30 seconds, the yellow light turns on - this means that your interlocutor may begin to think that you have said enough and begin to prepare their answer. Try to keep it to one minute when conveying your thoughts to your interlocutor, because then the traffic light is already red for you, and the word must go to your interlocutor.
2. 20-40. Talk no more than 20-40% of the time. This will allow your interlocutor not only to speak out, but also to feel important. And you can find out more.
3. Object sparingly. Treat your disagreement with someone or criticism of other people's actions, even if fair, as something for which you are forced to pay. Every time you feel like arguing with someone or criticizing someone or something, ask yourself if it's worth it. You might want to save your “coins” for something more meaningful.

These tips and tricks also apply to love relationships. But for this area, Nemko has three more recommendations.

Nutrition as the basis of a healthy lifestyle

There is an opinion that at least 50% of success on the path of self-development depends on nutrition. On the other hand, about 80% of all our diseases occur due to poor nutrition. “We are what we eat,” said one ancient philosopher and, based on this, we can say that in general most of our problems in life appear due to poor nutrition. Because it, as has been proven repeatedly, affects not only the physical body, but also the psyche. Slagging of the body, which is a consequence of poor nutrition, leads to the fact that waste and toxins begin to affect the brain, since the blood carries them throughout the body. And, you see, if the brain is poisoned by toxins, it is hardly possible to talk about its adequate functioning. Not to mention the imbalance in the work of all other organs that are directly involved in the digestive process.

Even ancient philosophers and healers established a connection between intestinal pollution and the human psyche. Polluted intestines are often the cause of depression, apathy and even suicidal thoughts. And to pull a person out of the abyss of melancholy, it’s enough to simply wash out the intestines. And, as experience shows, it really works.

So, many of our health and mental problems occur due to poor nutrition. First of all, we are, of course, talking about the dangers of alcohol, tobacco and other drugs. Yes, exactly with this wording - “...and other drugs”, because alcohol and tobacco are legal drugs that, under the guise of food products, were introduced into our society in order to simply make money from people.

Even in the last century, such luminaries of domestic medicine as Uglov, Sechenov, Pavlov, Pirogov and many others spoke about the dangers of alcohol in the last century. They unequivocally and without any compromise stated that alcohol is a heavy narcotic poison, and there is not a single organ in the human body that would not be destroyed during the consumption of even small doses of alcohol. There is no such thing as “moderate drinking”, just as there is no moderate use of, for example, acetone.

Alcohol is a technical liquid, not a food product. And the myth about its harmlessness (or even benefits) is imposed on our society by alcohol corporations that do business to the detriment of people’s health.

It is also worth debunking the myth about the so-called elite alcohol. The basis of any wine or cognac, even the most expensive, is ethanol, a heavy narcotic poison that destroys the human brain and all internal organs. It cannot be useful in any package, even the most expensive one. When you buy elite, expensive alcohol, you are buying elite, expensive poison. There is no such thing as “good wine” or “elite cognac”. Moreover, there can be no health benefits from alcohol poisoning.

Again, don’t take my word for it; study this issue yourself. But try not to be satisfied with the first ten links on Google or Yandex, where “British scientists” in their serenades on alcohol have already declared it almost an elixir of immortality. This is the calculation - if a person is interested in the issue of the harm of alcohol, he will end up on these publications paid for by alcohol corporations. Try to find adequate information.

Study what, for example, Fyodor Grigorievich Uglov, a Soviet and Russian surgeon, doctor of medical sciences, public figure and writer, said about alcohol. This man was an absolute teetotaler; he lived to be 104 years old, and performed his last operation when he was 100 years old. Fyodor Grigorievich categorically warned against the use of nicotine and alcohol; he wrote many books about the dangers of these legal drugs. It seems that his opinion is more authoritative than the widely circulated nonsense of “British scientists,” whose names or titles no one mentions. Do you know why? Because they don't exist. As well as those studies that are a common “duck” paid for by alcohol corporations.

However, in addition to alcohol and nicotine, there are many other products that destroy our health. For example, such a legal drug as sugar. Studies have shown that it affects the brain in the same way as cocaine. Two people who were exposed to low doses of sugar and cocaine were examined using an MRI machine. The images of brain activity and its response to sugar and cocaine were absolutely identical.

This, of course, is not customary to talk about for a wide audience, because global money is also made on sugar. Finding a product in the store that does not contain refined sugar is an impossible quest. Today, sugar is present even in sausage, mustard, bread and canned salty foods. It would seem, why is there sugar in mustard? Very simply - to cause addiction and force the consumer to regularly buy this product, preferably in large quantities. Experience shows that giving up sugar has an incredible effect on the body. Irritability, drowsiness, apathy, depression, painful weakness go away, and the need for sleep and food is significantly reduced. Give up sugar for at least a month, and the results will simply amaze you - you will feel cheerful, energetic, your skin will look younger, your digestion processes will improve, and perhaps even some gastrointestinal diseases will go away.

Meat products are also harmful to health. You can often hear from pseudoscientists that man is supposedly a predator. But this does not stand up to any elementary criticism. We have no fangs, no claws, no fast legs that allow us to catch up with prey. But do you know what is the fundamental difference between humans and typical predators? Carnivores have very short intestines. And that is why they can eat meat without harm to themselves - the body, having digested meat food, quickly removes it from the intestines, thanks to its short length - 3-4 meters. This is why food does not have time to begin to rot, decompose and poison the body.

The length of the human intestine is about 7-8 meters. And the meat food that you ate will remain there for one to three days, and all this time its remains will rot in the intestines, poisoning the entire body with the breakdown products of animal proteins. Hence the illnesses, premature aging and death at 60, which we are now presented with as the norm.

Academician Pavlov said: “I consider death before 150 years a violent death.” This is true. We all die a violent death, and it is not the notorious “bad environment” that is to blame for this, but the fact that we poison ourselves with alcohol, nicotine and junk food. No one is calling for you to immediately stop eating meat forever. At least try it. It’s paradoxical, but people who condemn vegetarianism and claim that it is harmful to health have never even tried to give up meat. It's funny, isn't it? As in that Soviet joke - “I haven’t read it, but I condemn it.” Therefore, to make sure whether vegetarianism is harmful or beneficial, try giving up meat for a couple of months. Perhaps the results will impress you so much that you will never want to eat this heavy and harmful food again. Those who have switched to vegetarianism note that vegetarian cuisine is even much more varied and tasty than traditional cuisine.

Integrity and pride are two different things.

Integrity - protecting one's interests. Pride is blindly defending an opinion and fear of appearing weak. A person should be flexible; giving up a principle can be more useful than trying to prove that you are right.

The principles of life can change with the events occurring in it, age, and experience. Sometimes their change leads to the better, it shows that a person does not stand still, he develops, becomes stronger. The rules of life are followed whether we like it or not. But each person decides for himself what laws he should live by in order to become happy.

Take the self-esteem test

Exercise

Think about and answer the following questions:

1. Which recommendation did you find most valuable and applicable to your life?
2. Could you start using these communication hacks?
3. What rules do you already use in personal relationships and what could you try in the near future?
4. How do job and career recommendations reflect your situation? What would make sense to start implementing?
5. Think over your program to practice the skills you like. For example, set aside 3 days for each communication life hack or a month to learn how to create internal motivation in your loved ones. Put it in your calendar, set reminders, come up with a reward and go!

We wish you good luck!

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• Learning to Say No: 9 Simple Ways to Set Boundaries in Work and Everyday Life
• Effective communication
• Rule of three "Yes"
• How to win friends and influence people: 10 tips from Dale Carnegie's book
• Four burner theory
• Rules and stages of working with objections
• Keith Ferrazzi, Tal Rez “Never Eat Alone and Other Rules of Networking” - book summary
• 12 Golden Rules for Life - life hacks for improving your life from Marty Nemko. Part 2

Key words: 1Communications, 1Time management