How to learn to reflect correctly and why delving into yourself is useful

Adviсe

• Reflection and soul-searching: similarities and differences
• Signs of self-examination
• Constant self-examination and its reasons
• Self-examination: how to get rid of the habit of looking for flaws in yourself?
• Philosophical reflections on life under a ban?

The mind is considered an independent value in many societies. Almost all children at all times are told: be smart, study well. It is rare to meet a person who cannot stand education or books. People may be uneducated and not read books at all, but they are still confident that there is benefit in education.

When a person makes his personality, his behavior and actions the object of reflection, he is either engaged in reflection or self-examination.

Despite the synonymy of the concepts, the first term contains a positive meaning, and the second – a negative one!

Reflection and soul-searching: similarities and differences

There is only one similarity here: a person chooses himself as the subject of reflection, travels deep into his mind. And the differences are as follows:

• Reflection is concrete, self-examination is abstract . A man talks to a girl, and after the conversation the young lady gets offended without giving a reason. Reflection takes the conversation itself as its subject and breaks it down into its components; the reason for the girl’s offense is revealed: the puzzle is solved. Self-digging gets bogged down in details, so it cannot isolate a specific problem; a girl’s resentment is another reason for a man to say to himself: “I am a loser.” During soul-searching, a shift occurs from an analysis of the event to an analysis of the personality of the “culprit.”
• Reflection is rational, and soul-searching is emotional.
• Reflection is purposeful, but soul-searching is aimless.
• Reflection looks for a reason, while self-examination makes claims and develops self-pity.
• Reflection really helps a person understand the people around him and himself, and self-digging is a knife with which a person cuts his insides and discovers more and more shortcomings.
• Reflection presupposes actions and conclusions, self-examination is analysis for the sake of the process, it does not imply an end.
• Reflection is creative, but self-examination is destructive.

Description and types of self-criticism

Most of us perceive self-criticism as a complex of mental anguish towards ourselves: reproaches, dissatisfaction, fears, anxiety, uncertainty, unwillingness to forgive or accept any situation, the desire to punish ourselves. That is, we ourselves are at the center of our attention. Therefore, self-criticism has received several synonyms - self-flagellation, self-abasement.

In psychology, self-criticism has received a more specific definition - it is a negatively colored introspection, accompanied by disapproval of one’s behavior (words, thoughts, actions) and dissatisfaction with oneself.

Healthy self-criticism helps a person establish the cause-and-effect relationships of a “misconduct” and draw effective conclusions from the situation, as opposed to excessive introspection, which often leads to negative consequences. Thus, the habit of constantly criticizing oneself can develop into an obsessive state that distorts the perception of the situation and oneself in it, significantly reduces self-esteem and increases self-doubt. We can say that a person “eats” himself from the inside.

Sometimes the desire for constant self-flagellation closes in a cycle when a person “gnaws” at himself for the very fact of constant self-criticism.

Depending on how much a person dislikes himself, his self-criticism can be divided into several forms:

• Gentle self-criticism
  . It’s also “playing for the audience.” That is, a person engages in self-criticism demonstratively, for show, without bringing himself any internal psychological discomfort. He is driven by the desire to receive pity, sympathy and consolation from others, thereby avoiding punishment. This behavior is typical of people who are insecure and have a low sense of responsibility.
• Harsh self-criticism
  . In this case, the basis for self-flagellation is an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. A person sets very strict demands on himself, so he always has a reason for self-criticism. For a tough Samoyed, public displays of self-dislike are not necessary. On the contrary, they prefer to scold themselves in private.
• Neurotic self-criticism
  . If the desire to criticize one’s words or actions becomes a habit, such a person only needs the slightest reason to launch a “program” of self-flagellation. He lives in an atmosphere of constant self-criticism, without even noticing it.

Signs of self-examination

When thinking about his nature, a person does not praise himself. He sees only shortcomings and defeats. This shows up in the little things. A man went to the store in the morning to buy fresh bread, and instead of black he bought white. And even for such a minor mistake, he mercilessly chastises himself. The subjunctive mood and the particle “would” become the foundation of a person’s internal dialogues. He always thinks: “Eh, I could...”, “I would do...”. And conversations like this almost never end. Internal muttering accompanies the unfortunate every minute, even if he does not speak to himself.

Bouts of blaming oneself for sins are replaced by waves of repentance and justification

A man wanders through memory, contemplating the ruins of the past. He doesn't think about the future or the present. His time is spent on archaeological excavations. Self-analysis does not open a person to new horizons of his personality and the world around him, but serves only as a weapon for destroying self-confidence. In this case, low self-esteem will not be long in coming. The person does not understand that he is harming himself. He is no longer “the master of his own house.”

These traits reveal groundless thinking and a tendency to self-examination.

What is soul-searching?

It is a form of reflexive introspection, which acquires destructive features during a long-term influence on the self-perception of an individual (see Psychology of human personality).
She, in turn, constantly concentrates on negativism. Psychologists believe that self-digging is getting stuck on aspects that are considered unacceptable. A person strives to search for shortcomings of his own Self (see Ego and SuperEgo), which leads to an expansion of the range of further experiences due to the problems found. A person who constantly experiences such thoughts is distinguished by the presence of fears (see Obsessive thoughts and fears), which lead to the desire to find a way out of an uncomfortable situation as soon as possible. It is worth noting that this desire cannot be realized due to increasing fears and strengthening negative trends. Such a picture of the world no longer suits a person, as a result of which we can talk about the manifestation of extreme behavior options.

• Self-examination - human psychology
• How to get rid of self-deception?
• Consultation with a psychologist to solve the problem

At the same time, the tendency to self-blame (see How to get rid of guilt) and anger will be replaced by the desire to find an excuse for yourself, to begin to feel sorry for yourself and your life. Such unusual aspects are a guarantee that a person will be able to continue to live relatively normally. He will not suffer from emotional burnout (see Emotional fatigue), exhaustion. Another question is that one cannot talk about having an adequate perception of oneself, one’s capabilities and abilities.

Self-reflection is a special type of self-analysis without a goal (see How to achieve goals quickly and successfully). We can mention regular immersion within oneself from a period of emotional upsurge and a slight decline. We can talk about being stuck in a state of negativity, due to which all achievements will be devalued.

Constant self-examination and its reasons

• The problem of loneliness. As sad as it is to say this, single people are more prone to self-examination than those who have a family or at least a couple.
• Unsuccessful, exhausted relationships. Also, the cause of senseless and merciless self-picking can be unhealthy “love” or “infatuation.” For example, a person has an overdeveloped conscience, and he met a tyrant partner who exploits this quality every single day. The despot reprimands his “beloved” that he and only he is to blame for the troubles. Against this background, a need and habit of self-examination arises, which begins with the words: “What did I do wrong…”. And it must be said that there will always be reasons for such reflections.
• A long search for oneself and one’s place in life leads to endless soul-searching, when a person does not work for a long time, searches and does not find a worthy sphere of application of his skills. Unemployment does not come alone, it brings with it disappointment in life and attacks of frantic introspection without purpose, subject or end.
• Illnesses provoke attacks of joyless thoughts about oneself. When a person is seriously or slightly ill, he believes that this will last for a very long time. Further, memories of past failures cling to these thoughts. The disease draws a person into a circle of aimless reflection, worsening his condition.
• Self-examination as a symptom of general dissatisfaction with life. This is the most interesting group of reasons from the point of view of psychologists, but the saddest from the point of view of their clients. When there are no problems, but you still want to take out the knife of self-analysis and open old, healed wounds. And here the reasons are varied: conflicts at work, work is not satisfactory or does not bring pleasure. Self-examination can also cause people to become seriously ill or suffer from hypochondria. And in each individual case, the true reason hides itself, including dressing itself in the clothes of introspection.

Constant self-examination is an alarming symptom with the help of which the psyche sends SOS signals to a person. They are not difficult to decipher: “You need to change yourself and change your life.”

Self-examination - human psychology

Self-examination cannot be called a scientific term. It is considered a way in which the method of self-analysis is used in a negative way. A person constantly experiences a feeling of anxiety and does not understand why he should set goals and achieve them later. He is used to living one day at a time, while the future only scares him. There is no productive analysis of one’s personal qualities. A person does not try to analyze the situation that happened, does not realize how important it is to gain invaluable experience, to understand everything that is happening. All he does is replay in his head the unfavorable events (see OCD - obsessive thoughts) that happened to them, and again and again experiences the negative emotions that he felt at that moment.

Such immersion in negativity leads to the fact that a person blames himself for his weakness (see Why Feelings of Guilt). He does not understand how important it was to act in one way or another in order to avoid mistakes later. It seems to him that all actions taken will only lead to failure, which is why he strives to avoid taking initiative with all his might.

We can talk about an increasing tendency to compare oneself with other people. A person all the time does nothing but look at other people’s profiles on social networks, realizing how boring his life is (see I’m bored). It seems to him that others have been much more fortunate, both in their profession and in personal self-determination. There are no specifics on how to change your own life. A person can be called an “armchair analyst” who only knows how to reason about how to live correctly, but does not take absolutely any action.

This type of reasoning leads to the fact that a person will suffer more and more from his own inferiority. He does not realize how important it is to pay attention to his strengths, and not his shortcomings and mistakes.

Self-examination is the re-living of all experienced emotions (see Basic human emotions). It is as if a person finds himself again in a situation in which he found himself recently. It is important to realize that the return will occur precisely in circumstances that are hidden behind the resource capabilities of the psyche. In this case, the experience gained will not be appropriated, as a result of which you will have to live for some time to relive the impressions, to live everything that is necessary. It can be noted that this process can be carried out either on one’s own or with the help of a qualified specialist (see Help from a psychologist).

It is the presence of a trusted psychologist or good friend nearby that will lead to a reversal of the process into creative self-analysis. In this case, the person is asked specific questions that will help him leave his comfort zone. It is important to realize that you can plunge into self-deception when you have to follow beliefs imposed by society. In any case, it is better to stick to your own goals, which will satisfy both physical and psychological needs.

It is no secret that in the modern world the desire to be happy, active, and to be a leader is strongly promoted. Following these goals can lead to the development of internal conflict. A person simply does not realize why this happens, as a result of which he is faced with negative feelings (see Negative and positive motivation). Experts advise not to blindly follow generally accepted beliefs. People should feel sad from time to time and seek solitude to recharge. You can’t be active, cheerful, or a leader all the time. If you pretend, but comply with the interests of society, you may encounter the development of psychosomatic disorders (see Psychosomatic diseases and their treatment).

Self-examination has a negative impact on the human psyche. It all depends on the level of presence of this trend in life and its influence. It will be considered a stereotypical way of reacting, a habit, as a result of which you will have to be guided by endurance, willpower, and conscious control in order to eliminate and subsequently radically change your thinking.

Self-examination: how to get rid of the habit of looking for flaws in yourself?

Self-examination is harmful. But what to do? The following principles can help a person get rid of a bad obsessive habit:

• Physical health leads to high spirits . No matter how trivial it may sound, in order to overcome self-digging, you first need to cut off those reasons that are related to physiology. If a person has illnesses or unhealed wounds, then they need to be eliminated, and then wait to see if his life becomes more joyful and fun.
• "What's the worst case scenario?" . If your physical health is normal, but thinking about life and your loved one still makes you sad, then you can ask yourself: “What will happen in the worst case?” The technique is designed for a person to ask himself again and again about the consequences, then become convinced of their ridiculousness or insignificance, and then get rid of the habit of bad introspection.
• Ban on hypotheses . Self-examination is not a very useful thing. What it leads to is already clear. A problematic situation arises when a person does not live in the present: he either regrets the past or fears the future, using thoughts about existence as an instrument of torture. A person must adjust himself to the fact that the main thing is the present, push away from this thought and live day after day, without thinking about the future or the past. And if you choose between two not very pleasant possibilities, then it is better to make plans for the future than to drown in bitterness about what has not come true.
• “Cosmetic and major repairs” of personality . Self-examination is defeated by reflection directed at it, which presupposes action. A person should ask himself not why he has so many shortcomings, but why he even thinks about it. It’s obvious: people are not perfect, and “everyone has their own shortcomings.” If a person understands why he is thinking about this, he will be able to sketch out a specific plan that will eradicate real, rather than imagined, shortcomings. Self-digging is most afraid of action; when there is action, there is neither time nor energy left for self-digging.
• Self-development as a healthy alternative to “mental chewing gum.” Moreover, the term “self-development” in this case includes: mastering new knowledge, skills, obtaining new information, or doing what you love – a hobby. Digging occurs in the psyche of a person who does not learn anything new and is not satisfied with the periodic revision of his values, beliefs - worldview. Passivity gives rise to groundless torment and reflection.

GuruTest

Self-examination is a meaningless experience for most people, and that is why it is considered harmful to the psyche. What is good for the body in unknown stress and experiences?

Contrary to popular belief, soul-searching does not always mean plunging into a pool of depressive, negative feelings and emotions. For many people, this activity, which is not approved by the majority, helps them to understand themselves more deeply, understand themselves and the mistakes they have made, and not repeat them again. But you also need to be able to do soul-searching: it is not as simple as it might seem at first glance. We found out how self-examination can be useful and how to do it correctly.

Why self-examination is considered harmful: let’s figure it out

So, why does almost the absolute majority of both ordinary people and highly respected professional psychologists believe that self-examination is one hundred percent harmful without a fraction of the benefit? Here are our assumptions: there are at least two reasons that explain this attitude towards this simple activity.

Misconception about self-examination. Incorrect perception of self-examination and exposure to stereotypes is the first reason why many consider this activity useless and even harmful. For some reason, most people believe that self-examination is a story about senseless accusations of oneself for all mortal sins, boundless longing for what can no longer be corrected, and similar, truly harmful activities.

In reality, proper soul-searching has nothing to do with such a portrait: on the contrary, it gently helps a person figure everything out for himself, without involving anyone else for this. Of course, you should not refuse help if it is offered, but it is not always possible to receive this help - you also need to remember this.

At such moments, soul-searching can be extremely useful: calmly, without unnecessary fuss, a person will be able to sort everything out and calm down, incorporating the results of internal excavations into his invaluable life experience.

Self-examination can indeed bring harm, but only to people with a special mental organization. Another reason why soul-searching is often considered a harmful and even dangerous activity for the delicate human psyche is the actual harm that such an activity can cause to some people, who are the exception rather than the rule.

The peculiarity of our perception plays an important role here. It just so happens that the majority of people remember negative examples, which cause a strong reaction, much more accurately and more than positive ones.

This is why there is a widespread misconception about self-examination: unfortunately, we will perceive and remember a couple of “creepy” stories about people who dug and dug into themselves and got to the bottom of depression much better than many stories containing a positive response.

In fact, self-examination does not harm everyone, but only people with a fine mental organization: if a person becomes depressed for any reason, it is really better not to engage in self-examination.

“Useful” soul-searching: simple tips

We have looked at the main reasons why soul-searching can be mistakenly considered a harmful activity. But how can you turn it into something useful? Here are some tips: they will definitely help you “dig yourself” with benefit.

Emphasize self-reflection. Self-analysis is an integral part of “correct” self-examination, so try to focus on it: it will allow you to benefit from the results you receive in the future. Be curious, try to understand the nature of cause-and-effect relationships, try to think logically, and then not only the results will benefit, but also the process itself: by actively thinking, you train your brain.

Try to avoid negative thoughts, don't blame yourself. But negative thoughts and empty self-accusations are something that should be avoided: they will not definitely bring benefits, but at the very least they will spoil your mood. Self-flagellation is also part of self-examination, but you should not get carried away with it: there is a risk of slipping into long-term depression.

As you can see, self-examination is not such an enemy as the vast majority of ordinary people and even professional psychologists now imagine it to be. With the right approach, it is not difficult to benefit from this simple activity. It’s just important not to fall into self-flagellation and meaningless negativity: such actions definitely won’t help you.

However, introspection is not the only thing that can help you improve relationships with yourself and others: there are many other methods to understand yourself thoroughly. Most of them today, unfortunately, are a complex or long, tedious test that can force even a person who really wants to know everything about himself to give up his plan.

There is an easier way to find out everything about yourself or another person: to do this, oddly enough, you will have to look into such a familiar everyday thing as a simple refrigerator. We have previously talked about the features of this interesting experiment: find out how to properly conduct psychoanalysis on a refrigerator and why it is needed.

Tell us what you think about this: is self-examination useful, in your opinion, or not? Why?

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22.03.2019 01:06

Philosophical reflections on life under a ban?

It remains to answer the last question, which probably worries every person: is it really now impossible to think about the meaning of life, about purpose, about mistakes in life, about the trajectory of the lines of fate (Eric Berne called this the “life script”) and about others at first glance meaningless, from the point of view of everyday logic, phenomena?

Answer: It's worth thinking about, but it's important to understand that philosophical and psychological questions require appropriate preparation. Aimless soul-searching turns into meaningful reflection only with serious training. The mind, the intellect, is the same muscle that should be loaded, for example, by reading dozens and hundreds of books on psychology and philosophy. Writers also put a lot of effort into answering the question of why a person came into this world, so fiction should also not be ignored when it comes to the meaning and quality of life.

But these are all reflections, far from living examples. And if you imagine that there is a person suffering from physical unattractiveness or illness, and he lies on the couch and asks himself: “Lord, why am I like this?” If a participant in a thought experiment lies on the sofa for 10 years, reproaching the heavens, then with a high degree of probability nothing will change in his life, stagnation will form in his spiritual life, against this background self-criticism will arise, which will destroy the experimental person to the ground, leaving him only ruin.

Consider another option: a person asks heaven: “Why am I like this?!” Then he gets up from the couch, takes books on psychology, philosophy and religion and looks in them for the answer to his question. He may not find the answer, but at least reading will distract him from gloomy thoughts and save him from depression. And with a lively and grasping mind, immersion in the ocean of letters promises a replenishment of vocabulary, the development of intelligence, the emergence of a taste for literature and the habit of thinking strictly and categorically, without wasting energy on pointless thoughts.