Today, as an introduction to the article, we will abandon the usual format, the task of which is to awaken the reader’s interest. The topic does not need direct or figurative presentation, because we have repeatedly talked about the importance of the ability to listen to your interlocutor in numerous publications concerning leadership qualities, successful negotiations, psychology, and the development of empathy. The time has come to close this gap too.
Listen and hear - what's the difference?
First, let's figure out what is the difference between the ability to listen to a person and the ability to hear a person?
“ Listen ” and “ hear ” are two close, but essentially very different skills.
The ability to listen is about the ability to listen so that your interlocutor wants to open up to you, speaks to you openly and with pleasure.
The ability to hear is the ability to hear the interlocutor, and not your various thoughts about what he said. Hear exactly what is said, the essence of what is said.
How to listen to your interlocutor correctly
To hear a person correctly, you need to master certain habits:
- Loving people and building sincere relationships
is a necessary component of communication. Every person has virtues and talents, everyone has something to learn. Your task is to place the right emphasis on the virtues and cultivate only them in relationships. - You should not underestimate or overestimate your self-esteem
. A democratic attitude towards yourself and others will open the way to simple, open communication. Communication with different people will enrich your life experience. - It is important to concentrate not only on words
and expressions, but also on the nonverbal signs that a person shows you.
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Only in communication is human nature revealed.
How to learn to listen to a person.
Concentrate.
Put aside all your activities and try to concentrate on what the person is telling you. Maintain “warm attention” to the interlocutor and do not get distracted.
Unfortunately, during a conversation, many “pretend” that they are listening to the interlocutor, although this is not the case, hence misunderstanding and conflict.
Try to maintain contact with a person, a living person, sincere feeling and support.
Don’t object to your interlocutor, even if you really want to, try to take his side (remember the “Perception Position” exercise).
If you don’t understand something, ask clarifying questions to your interlocutor, while being in a state of interest and full attention to him.
Train yourself to nod, reflecting the feelings of your interlocutor with your face.
Did you know that nodding is the main element of a person's listening skill. Your nod says that you are “on the same wavelength” with the interlocutor, that you hear and understand him. You understand what he is saying and that you care.
It can be helpful to add any words of “understanding” to the nod, such as: “Uh-huh.” Yes! It's clear. Wow!"
At the same time, your face should express sincere interest in the interlocutor and respond positively to what he says.
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What gives people the ability to listen?
- By actively listening to what the other person is saying, you can analyze his preferences and interests. Thanks to this, you will have the opportunity to shape the conversation process and lead it in the right direction.
- You will also learn a lot of new and interesting things, because every person is a storehouse of knowledge and experience. It will also help you develop your memory and get rid of absent-mindedness.
- If you are attentive to other people, then they will be attentive to you. By trying to understand what your interlocutor is saying, you are giving him a compliment. After this, the person himself will listen to your opinion.
- Listening to other people is one of the easiest ways to make a good impression on yourself. It would seem that you have not said almost a single word, but you are already considered a pleasant interlocutor.
