Not everything is so simple in the world of men. They live with us, love us, but they play by their own rules. And we girls need to know these rules in order to understand what game to play and how to win. The more competently you show yourself in your relationship with your lover, the more points you will earn in the eyes of your chosen one as his girlfriend, wife and mother of future children.
Not a step back, or Rule One
All people make mistakes, but men never do. Statistics from the “School of Hunting” (sample of five thousand men) happily informs us that the likelihood of a man admitting his mistake tends to zero. This is especially true if the woman turns out to be right. A man, of course, can apologize, but with what pleasure he will blame everything on circumstances. He will say that he was forced: “I didn’t want to, but it happened that way.” The most surprising thing is that, most likely, he is telling the truth, and the most difficult thing is to look at this truth through a man’s eyes. I warn you right away that the culprits in his story will be his colleagues, his superiors, the situation, but not himself.
The only intention he has at this moment is a desperate desire to remain a good guy for you. After all, it is when a man does not live up to your expectations that he is most afraid of being bad. He himself understands perfectly well that he is to blame. When a woman constantly points out to a man his mistakes and recalls old sins, sooner or later he will begin to live up to your worst expectations.
As soon as a man is wrong and you are right, you inevitably face a choice: to be right and continue to defend your point of view, or to be happy and look at the situation through the eyes of a man. And you will choose the second if you value your relationship. As long as you accept his truth, while you look at him with faith and admiration in your eyes, he will strive to match his reflection in the eyes of the woman he loves.
How to make relationships easy
Remember how relationships begin. Frequent meetings, SMS with tender words, unexpected and pleasant gifts. Those casual conversations about your favorite movies or the weather. Both partners enjoy each other and do not discuss current problems, the dollar exchange rate or the boorish boss.
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Ease in a relationship is when a woman looks at her man with adoration, when she notices his advantages, when she takes care of herself and always tries to look great. For men, this is lightness. But where does it disappear over time? Why does a man start complaining that the relationship has become difficult? Some women believe that this is the end of love. But this is a mistake!
In fact, the man loves the woman as before, but he lacks her attention. He no longer wants to discuss utility bills, hear another scandal about scattered socks and his alleged irresponsibility. He missed this ease in relationships. He wants to see a woman next to him again who will inspire him.
Dust in the eyes, or Rule Three
All men brag, but everyone does it in their own way: some with a beautiful wife, some with a new car, and some with the number of books they have read.
When a woman admires a man, he feels special. And at this moment a miracle happens: a simple guy suddenly grows wings behind his back. Now he is Superman and is ready to kill the villain, in the sense of coping with any problem.
Therefore, admiration is what every representative of the strong half of humanity subconsciously expects and dreams of. The thirst and need for admiration manifests itself in competition with friends, in the desire to show off women's eyes. He boasts himself and subconsciously waits for approval from the outside. As in childhood. After all, if he’s “wow” how wonderful, they should definitely notice it.
When you hear any revelations from a man, do not stop him, do not try to dispel his illusion of omnipotence. Fantasy, even if it is far from reality, can become reality if you allow yourself to believe in it.
Brevity is the sister of talent, or the Fourth Rule
Communication plays a different role in the life of a man and a woman. For girls, the process of communication in itself is a pleasure. For guys, it’s just a way to get information. And everything they hear is perceived as it is. Ornate phrases and indirect requests do not find a response in the male soul. The simpler the sentence is, the more likely it is that you will be understood correctly.
A girl who is in a relationship with a young man sincerely believes that her lover should read her thoughts or at least guess about her desires. But the more veiled the request, the more hints, the more difficult it is for a man to guess what they want from him. In this mutual misunderstanding lies the cause of women's disappointment. And the man has a counter reaction - irritation. He feels that they are dissatisfied with him, but cannot understand what he is doing wrong and why he can’t just say what is required of him?
It just so happens that a man is a logical and sympathetic creature, but he is used to speaking briefly and clearly, receiving specific answers to his questions, and simply does not know how to do it any other way. By explaining your needs as clearly as possible, you make his task easier and get what you need: a new iPhone, a trip to the cinema, or a sweet goodnight text.
What can turn a man off?
The novel has no continuation, the union collapses if the girl makes the following mistakes:
- openly lies, turns around;
- selfishly pursues his own goals;
- does not hear the partner;
- requires excessive attention to one’s own person;
- does not take into account the opinion of a man;
- creates scandals and scenes of jealousy;
- does not come into position;
- tries to remake the chosen one.
READ Why guys don't pay attention to me, what is the reason and how to change the situation
You can understand whether partners are suitable for each other or not in the first month of dating. Then the couple either separates, or the relationship moves to a more serious stage of development.
To build a relationship with a man, you need to see him as a person, and not lie to him and yourself. This is the key to a happy, long-lasting union.
"The Iron Mask", or Rule Five
In the harsh world of men, it is not customary to show emotions. A real hero always wears a mask: no one should see his face. The ability to “keep a mark” and hide experiences is a distinctive feature of the strongest half of humanity. A man who has troubles at work is the most withdrawn, taciturn and gloomy creature in the world. All he wants when he is going through a difficult period in his life is for his household, along with the woman he loves, to leave him alone.
At this moment, various bad thoughts enter the woman’s head, and she begins to think about them. Having gone through the worst options for the development of the relationship, the girl becomes offended and withdraws into herself, and then the young man has one more headache. Or he begins to interrogate his loved one with passion about what plunged him into world sorrow. In order for a man to cope with something - to survive betrayal, resentment or solve a difficult problem - he needs to digest it within himself.
And we have to be patient. After all, after a man solves his problems in his head, we will receive a well-deserved reward: he will return in a wonderful mood and ready to communicate.
How to grow love?
Now that you know how women themselves ruin relationships, I’ll tell you what to do to avoid it:
- Work on your marriage rating. Develop to always remain attractive, interesting, exciting.
- Put yourself first. No matter how wonderful your man is, do not turn him into the center of your universe. Think about yourself, about your boundaries, and only then about your partner.
- Learn to freely express desires and talk constructively about feelings. Relationships are a long road. To avoid a lot of problems in the future, learn to discuss thoughts and emotions.
The online course “The Price of Women’s Happiness” can be a good help. Here you will learn to listen to yourself, understand your desires, and learn the principles of healthy relationships with successful men.
Girls! What other mistakes do you think women make at the beginning of a relationship that can scare off a partner? Tell us in the comments!
Herd instinct, or the Sixth rule
The herd instinct is not a relic of the past; it still drives modern representatives of the strongest half of humanity and is manifested in the male desire to unite in companies. There are three signs by which men join groups.
The first is by age. People of the same age have something to remember, because their childhood passed at the same time and the culture of this period will always be close to them.
The second is based on interests. The direction of men's interests can lie in any area.
The third is based on the presence of a common enemy. These groups have the highest levels of adrenaline and testosterone and the most intolerant attitude towards life, often coupled with a heightened sense of justice.
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In each men's group, there are topics in which our boys show the most reverent interest. Sex, sports and/or politics are what occupy the heated minds of men when we are not around.
If you are not happy that a young man spends too much time in company, you can either enter his environment and become part of the group, or accept frequent absences from friends as personal space and calmly go about your business. You can enter the closest circle of your loved one by adopting the following settings:
- The first is that your man has great company.
- Second, you like the place where they gather.
- Third, we talk about the desire to meet and chat with his friends. If we get a refusal, we return to point three in a couple of days or weeks.
- Fourth - his friends are your friends!
"The Dying Swan", or the Seventh Rule
There is no more defenseless and attention-hungry creature than a sick man. After all, even in conscious infancy (the age of three or more years), your boy was taught that if he is sick, he is the center of the Universe. Now you don’t have to do much, everyone walks on tiptoe and speaks in a whisper. It’s so nice when someone takes care of you, and your illness gives you complete carte blanche for this.
So at this moment you have the opportunity to show your best side. With your own hands, prepare chicken broth, which is so useful in his “near-death” state, spoon-feed him, straighten the blanket and play his favorite movies on DVD. And if you want to breathe life into your “dying swan” to the maximum, then you can do all this in a nurse’s robe from a sex shop.
Men and women have different psychology, and this can cause disagreement in relationships. But everything is in your hands: write the script of your life yourself, become the director and main character of the story of your own happiness.
Mistakes of women in relationships with men
Women's mistakes in relationships can negatively affect not only their partner, but also have a negative impact on the mental health of the woman herself and life in general. Most girls don't notice this and continue to make the wrong steps. In a romantic relationship, you must be attentive not only to your partner, but also to yourself. So try to think ahead about your behavior in relationships and develop them in a positive way.
Don't forget about yourself
Women's mistakes in relationships often manifest themselves in relation to themselves. We spend little time on our desires and needs. This is one of the common problems that makes us unhappy in relationships. We spend too much effort and energy on our partner. We try to make him happy at any cost, but we forget to take care of our own feelings.
Most girls are not aware of this problem. They sacrifice themselves and their desires for the sake of their partner. First of all, this comes from our parents. Mothers constantly try to please fathers, so that after work they can have a delicious meal and relax, and the home will be cozy and comfortable. This is a model of a “successful relationship” for them, but not for you.
If you ignore your wants and needs, you may simply lose them. Typically, such situations happen when you are too overwhelmed with various problems. It is in moments of crisis that your inner desires begin to require close attention. Think carefully before taking such actions. I think that we should first of all take care of ourselves, but also not forget about our loved ones. Find ways you can start taking better care of your needs without damaging your relationship. The result will be an improvement in your well-being and life in general.
Don't try to change your partner
This problem is significantly different from the previous one. We often try to change a person so that he meets our standards and spend a lot of effort on this. We may only have good intentions, but the fact is that you cannot change a person unless he wants to.
