Loneliness invigorates us, as Maxim Postelga, who is perhaps better known as the performer of “Melancholy of the Jazz Minor” or “MDM,” said in one of his musical works. Who are people who love solitude? Are they introverts? Or is this just a common myth that is becoming an established stereotype? Why has introversion become more popular among young people recently? Are you really an introvert? If you have ever asked yourself any of these questions, then you will find the answers to them in this article, after reading it to the very end. Are you interested? Well, in that case, we wish you pleasant reading!
Loners and introverts
To begin with, I would like to finally dot the I’s and say that introverts are not absolute loners. Psychologists say that introverts, just like their opposite personalities, extroverts, enjoy communicating with other people. The only difference is their reaction to external stimuli and their attitude towards this communication, but this will be discussed a little later. In that case, what are people called who love solitude? Misanthropes? Misanthropes could also be classified as people who love solitude, but if you read the wording, misanthropes are people who are alienated from the people around them and hate them.
Little is said about the love of loneliness. In that case, what are people called who love solitude? In Japan, there is a special type of people... They are called hikikomori, and their peculiarity is that they completely refuse social life, preferring isolation. Most often, such people do not have their own housing or work with a constant source of income, so they live dependent on relatives. Yes, this is more like those who can truly be called people who love solitude. But so far the term “hikikimori” officially exists and is most common in only one country. This means that in Russia people who love solitude can only be called loners. And this option will really be correct. And if you want to understand whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, we recommend reading the article: https://psychbook.ru/416662a-ekstravert-tyi-ili-introvert-opisanie-osobennosti-i-harakteristiki.
Lifelong meaning instead of loneliness
The properties of all vectors are studied in detail by the systemic vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, and this knowledge has helped thousands of people understand what is happening, find their place in life and improve their lives.
“...The main thing is that the training took off my small, invisible headphones, which blocked out the outside world so tightly that my whole life passed only inside, like in a prison. It was a loner. Even my great love was mixed with fear. One can write endlessly about the extraordinary changes that have happened to me: there are many of them, they are dear to me, I am constantly discovering whole worlds...”
Tatyana A., recruiting specialist, Volgograd
“...This world is here. He is real! And the meaning of life is also here and you need to look for it only here! Not alone, but among other people! It is in us and it is different for everyone! And everyone has their own search. I think I'm where I need to be. I want to enjoy this life, hear the sounds of birds, hear how this earth rotates and know that everything is here for a reason. That we all walk and live for a reason. That everything and everyone has its own purpose and meaning in the existence of everyone on this earth! Maybe this is the very answer about the meaning that you are always looking for?..”
Sergey A., Samara
A sound artist, by changing his thinking, focusing, feeling and realizing what motivates a person, receives life-long meaning. Loneliness is no longer a necessary aid in the search for meaning.
Humanity hides all the remaining, not yet revealed secrets, without knowing it, inside itself. And everyone has the opportunity to discover them in each other at a free nightly online training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Register using the link.
Author Oksana Shevchenko
The article was written using materials from online training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan
Singles. What makes them special?
Psychologists have conducted a study to see if it is possible to identify a group of people who feel happier when they are alone. Professionals were based directly on the presence of romantic connections, which are the highest point of intimacy in human relationships. For some time, the “experimental subjects” (if they can really be called that) took a test that revealed the degree of their happiness. The test indicated that some of the people actually felt more comfortable when they were not in such close relationships. This was due to these people's reactions to the negative aspects of romantic intimacy with a partner. Of course, a lot can be said about the importance of supporting the closest person in difficult times and remembering couples who always understand each other perfectly... But we should not forget that a significant part of the history of communication with a person is occupied by quarrels and disagreements. Those who are too tired of such “confrontations” with a loved one can later find out that they are much more comfortable at a time when they are not burdened with such close ties.
The role of social networks
Social media can play a role in this. Comparing your relationships to those you see on social media can create feelings of sadness. For example, when you see other couples giving each other jewelry or flowers on Valentine's Day.
This automatically makes you feel lonely. When you compare your relationships with your friends on social media, you end up creating distance with your partner. It is because of this that the feeling of loneliness arises.
The more time you spend on social media, the more abandoned you feel.
Sometimes this feeling precedes a real relationship. A 2020 study found that loneliness can run in families, with some people genetically predisposed to such feelings.
In this case, getting into a relationship never helps. People hope that the other person will help them solve their problem, but this does not happen.
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Who are introverts?
Even Wikipedia will tell you that an introvert is, first of all, not a person who loves solitude, but one who is more focused on his inner world. Introverts love interacting with people. Moreover, the people who are most in the spotlight and often speak in front of large audiences (and without even having any obvious problems with this) can often be introverts! Based on all this, we can say that introverts are unlikely to be people who love solitude.
Differences between introverts and extroverts
The main difference between the former and the latter is how they react to stimuli. Anything can be an irritant, from an extra milliliter of coffee to external noise and everything else. Introverts perceive these irritants more acutely, which makes them get tired faster and need to rest in some quiet place. But this does not mean at all that they want to relax alone. In a quiet place, in addition to the introvert himself, there may also be another person with whom the first one will communicate and enjoy it (if, of course, the introvert really likes this person). This is because communication is one of the main needs of any person. Apart from this, a commonly observed fact is that introverts can be more effective communicators than extroverts. This is because the former immediately notice the interlocutor’s reaction to his words and to himself. The same cannot be said about the latter... Perhaps extroverts really get more positive emotions from communication, but this does not mean that everyone else gets the same positive emotions from communicating with them. We can say that introverts are more tactful and always know when to stop when communicating, because they themselves sometimes need rest and a pleasant environment.
Is it normal to want to be alone?
When wondering why you want to be alone, it’s worth remembering your childhood. Then, in order to limit your space from strangers, it was enough to build yourself a hut from blankets and pillows. Remember when you were alone and could indulge in your thoughts and dreams. Every person has this desire, and it is difficult to suppress. Being alone with yourself does not mean withdrawing from the world of people, becoming a hermit. It's just a necessity, like drinking water. You won't be able to endure thirst for long, will you? That's how it is in this case.
However, in adult life it is not so easy to collect your thoughts. Especially when there are problems that require immediate solutions. By giving up the desire to be alone with oneself, a person begins to suffer. He feels uncomfortable, as if there is not enough air. Therefore, you should not think that by refusing this you will make someone better. Everything will be completely different. The accumulation of negative energy will lead to an emotional explosion. You just need to explain to your loved ones that you urgently need peace.
Test for an introvert
Answer “yes” or “no” to each question. This introvert test will help you determine which personality type you are.
Group "A".
- In one day you can watch two films, a play, read a book and only attend one of five scheduled meetings?
- If you don't have a radio, TV or telephone in your house, you're a little upset.
- The number of your friends and acquaintances is constantly growing.
- It is much easier for you to remember faces, incidents, biographies than dates, formulas and other people's thoughts.
- You don't like to be alone and are drawn to noisy companies.
- You love to joke, discuss the latest gossip, and tell jokes. You are not conflicted.
- You love to be the center of attention and perform in front of an audience.
- You are always up to date with all the news.
- You quickly get along with strangers.
- Your decisions are very often hasty.
Group "B".
- A decision that is important to you can be changed if the situation requires it.
- You enjoy reminiscing.
- You don't have many friends and don't really like strangers.
- You have difficulty remembering details of anything.
- You don't like noise and loud music.
- You prefer to wear only those things that suit you.
- You enjoy taking photographs.
- You love to cook.
- You will prefer company where you can retire.
- It is difficult for you to quickly adapt to anything new.
Key to the test
If more “yes” answers were in group “A”, you can consider yourself an extrovert. If you are in group “B”, then you are an introvert. If the number of positive answers is approximately the same in the two groups, then you are an ambivert, who is characterized by signs of both the first and second personality types.
And at this point our article ends. Now you know what kind of person loves loneliness and its psychology. And in the same way, you perfectly understand who introverts are and why they cannot be called those who love solitude. We wish you good luck!
Pros of loneliness
Whatever one may say, it also has positive sides. Although it seems at first glance that this is not so. Let's look at the benefits of being single:
- Availability of free time to reboot. When you go home from work, you can manage your time as you wish.
- If you want to be alone, it is easier to understand what you want from life. At such moments, insight can occur.
- Loneliness makes a person more focused and productive. No one will distract you, you can completely immerse yourself in your atmosphere.
- Learn to make your own decisions. You will become more confident.
- And another important advantage of loneliness is the acquisition of new values. You will learn to understand who is really needed and important in this life. Indeed, in a routine environment this is much more difficult to determine.
