Analyze the reasons
Interest in anything always disappears for some reason. Your task is to find it! If you deal with this point, everything will fall into place, moreover, the process can start again. For example, you need to write an abstract (book, dissertation, article, etc.). You don’t know where to start, and instead of getting down to business, you wash the dishes, clean the apartment, call a friend, surf social networks, etc. Result: half a day has passed, and you are not even one step closer to your goal.
But if you deliberately force yourself to immerse yourself in the material, not even half an hour will pass before the question “where to start?” will begin to lose its relevance and another one will appear: “how to fit into the required number of characters.” Immersion awakens interest, and if you are afraid and avoid the exciting topic, you will have clean dishes, a clean apartment, but will not have the necessary material.
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Non-compulsoryness as a consequence of psychotrauma
From the point of view of psychoanalysis, chronic lack of commitment and inability to perform is a sign of unprocessed psychotrauma. This is how the subconscious mind protects you from repeated negative experiences. This is a conflict between the conscious and unconscious parts of the personality.
For example, you constantly miss the deadline for a project at work or, having prepared an excellent report, refuse to speak. What makes you do this: fear of failure and criticism, low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, internal attitude toward self-punishment and failure. In a person with an internal conflict or unprocessed trauma, the connections between cause and effect are disrupted.
Until the job is finished, you feel in control of the situation. Even if at the same time you do nothing to complete what you started, and it hangs over you like a black cloud. It doesn't matter as long as it's yours. If you finish the job, then from a raw product and process it will turn into a finished product, the result of your efforts, a reflection of your skills and abilities. Next to this is public assessment. You are no longer in control of the situation, you are no longer responsible for people's reactions.
Use other people's experience
Ask for help, especially if you are trying to succeed in a previously unknown subject. For example, you are planning to master a language: you don’t need to worry and plan it yourself, it’s better to go to the teacher and discuss your learning plan with him (this is an important component on the path to success). Still, a specialist understands the issue better than you. And I repeat again: if it doesn’t work out, don’t give up on yourself. Use a different program, different pace, different teacher, etc.
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Related materials:
goal | goal achievement | motivation | tips | advice from a psychologist | psychologist | result | emotions | deadline | approach | promise | bet | problem | interest
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Look up to the best version of yourself
Use examples of successful people. “Petya could do it, and I can do it too” is a good incentive, although not for everyone. It happens that the achievements of a conventional Petya can humiliate him: “I’m not like that, I can’t do this.” In this situation, look for another reference point: look up to the best version of yourself. How to find this better version? We know what we can be, we have all been praised many times in one way or another. It makes sense to write down all the situations in which you were the best. Also think and write down those personal qualities that helped you deserve some kind of victory. Then you will understand what internal resources can be updated and used.
How else does this fear manifest itself?
For example, when we are offended by someone or something. After all, constant resentment is the same unfinished business. Resentments form peculiar energy tails that take up a lot of our energy.
Another way this fear manifests itself is when we forget to give thanks for something. Moreover, not only specific people, but also the Universe as a whole. For the fact that we live on Earth, for shelter and food, for a lot of opportunities that people of the past did not even have in their fantasies.
Ingratitude is the same energetic “tail”. They provided you with a service, spent time and energy on you, and you even gave a simple “Thank you!” they didn't say.
As a result, there is a imbalance in the energy structure of your body, and you didn’t even notice. But such “tails” tend to accumulate in your body and affect the rest of your life. Yeah, that same karma.
Also, such incompleteness manifests itself in hoarding. No, I’m not talking now about those who want more and better, but about typical Plyushkins who feel sorry for old things and do not throw them away, although they have long served their purpose. Like, what if it comes in handy.
All things contain an energetic charge from our emotions and thoughts. By leaving all this old junk in our house, we become attached to these charges. They continue to drain energy from us. Do you need it?
And it’s good if these charges are positive, then they can at least give us a resource state. But often we only look at these things with sadness and regret that the past is gone forever. It is regret that kills all positivity and wastes our energy.
The same goes for past nostalgic memories. Constantly returning in our thoughts to the past and going over long-gone events in our memory, we become re-attached to them and lose a lot of time and energy.
This is also an option for unfinished business. It’s as if we are trying to watch an old movie again and again, considering it important, but in reality we are wasting our current “Here and Now”.
Don't be dramatic
You should praise yourself for your achievements, but you shouldn’t destroy and reproach yourself for your mistakes. Yes, you may not have been able to achieve your plan, but why punish yourself additionally? In sports, coaches teach parents: there is no need to give gifts to a child for a medal, he has already won. It's the same here - no need for drama. Just get up and move on.
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Tip #1: Calm down and focus on what needs to be done.
When you realize that you have a lot of unfinished tasks, you need to calm down and focus on what you need to do. You shouldn’t prematurely surround yourself with thoughts that you can’t do something or that you can’t do anything at all. This attitude will not lead to anything good! Therefore, calm down and focus on what needs to be done and gradually begin your work.
Look for resources within yourself
Don't look for support from your girlfriend, mother, husband, etc. The inner circle is a circle of non-professionals; it cannot help your growth. Let me give you an example: a person is losing weight and asks a friend to reprimand him if he wants to buy himself some forbidden food. At this moment, the person losing weight shifts responsibility onto another person, this is a guarantee of failure in this matter! Look for resources within yourself. A trainer, nutritionist, psychologist will tell you in detail how to do this, and they will also support you - they have a better understanding of the issue you are interested in, have much more experience than your friend, mother, her friend and her son, etc.
Tip #7: Overcome Difficulties
Overcome difficulties along the way to achieve your goals. After all, in life everything is not always easy and simple. Therefore, in order to achieve the desired results, you must be prepared to overcome all kinds of obstacles that arise on your way. This way, you will be able to cope with all your work in a timely manner and bring the work you start to completion, without postponing it until later.
Less sighs, more to do
Think less about “why is it working out for everyone, but not for me.” Do more! If you ask a successful person how he was able to achieve his goals, you will most likely hear the standard answer: “I work from morning to night, I get up early to get everything done.” There is only one conclusion: you need to work, and not sit on your butt and sigh.
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How to learn to get things done - simple recommendations
In order not to be tormented before going to bed by listing unfinished but important tasks, you need to follow a number of effective tips.
Find motivation
Agree, it’s difficult to do something if you don’t fully or at all understand why you need it. To get things moving, you need motivation.
If a person finds it difficult to pull himself together and act, he begins to think about the work process. As a result, he becomes bored and internal disgust appears. He resists, does not want to leave his comfort zone. After all, it’s much better to sit with a piece of cake in front of the TV than to get dressed and go for a run or another gym class. Is not it? Or, for example, look through the news on social networks, and not write a report that must be submitted tomorrow, or at most the day after tomorrow.
To correct the situation, you need to think not about what you are doing now, but about the result. For example, if you submit a report on time, your boss will issue a bonus. If you overcome yourself and go to the gym, you will become one step closer to your dream figure. And so for any action. In addition to visible results, you will receive a lot of bonuses that are invisible at first glance. Among them: self-confidence, adequate self-esteem and the awareness that you can overcome any obstacles.
20 minute rule
In any business, the most difficult thing is the beginning. You've probably also noticed that once you start, it's hard to stop. This was talked about in ancient times. Thus, the mathematician and philosopher Pythagoras believed that you just need to start solving the problem and all that remains is to finish what you started. The ancient Greek poet Hesiod said that the beginning is already half the battle.
Divide the long journey into small steps
We often set too global and distant goals for our children. For example: “Once you learn to read, you will become very big.” Or: “If you finish the year without C grades, we’ll buy you a computer.” It is psychologically very difficult for a child when such a big goal dominates him.
A fear involuntarily arises: will I have enough strength to get there? Gradually, interest and self-confidence are lost - the case is abandoned halfway, the parents are unhappy, and the child once again feels like a failure. Therefore, break the path to your goal into several stages.
Any child can take a small step towards an intermediate result. You took a step - you experienced the joy of victory - you take the next step. Gradually, the child will reach the finish line, that is, the Big Result. By the way, all the technologies in our club are built on this principle. In just one lesson, the child gets dozens of different results: read a word, solved an example, constructed a logical series, guessed a riddle, answered a question. That is, children are constantly in a situation of success, and this is the main secret of proper motivation.
Tip #8: Take short rest breaks
Don't forget that you need to take short rest breaks. Typically, taking a short break between tasks will allow you to recuperate and allow your brain to tune in to another task. Thus, you will be able to restore energy and strength, which will allow you to avoid fatigue, overwork, irritation and stress, which, in turn, will allow you to increase the efficiency of your work.
