How to answer everyday “rhetorical questions” like “How is your health”?

There used to be a saying that a bore is a person who, in response to the question: “How are you doing,” actually tells how he is doing, and in very detail. Therefore, many tried to answer this question monosyllabically and uninterestingly, without fear of being branded as a person without a creative streak. Saying “Excellent” or “Good” every time is too commonplace. You definitely won’t get into the cohort of witty people with this approach. After all, even such a simple question “how are you?” can be answered with creativity. And here's how.

How to answer the question: “how are you?”

Besides the fact that there is a folk saying “as white as soot,” you can invent something yourself. It all depends on who your interlocutor is, whether you want to continue the dialogue with him or her, or whether you need to cut off the thread of conversation at the moment and run away about your business. By the way, the question can be asked not at all in person, but over the phone, in a chat or on a social network. For such cases, there is another duty “weapon” - emoticons, or symbols of emotions.

1) Answer with humor

A great way to answer this question is to make a joke. Especially when everything is bad - this will show that you do not lose spirit even in the hour of problems.

Here are the options:

Not “good”, but with the same letter. By the way, horseradish is a vegetable, if anything... And it’s very spicy!
Great, can't wait!
What's the matter with such things!
Affairs??? No, I’m not a business person...
Business happens to the one who does something, and I rest!
Let's leave things to the businessmen, and let's go have fun!
Well, what can happen when it’s raining outside (snow, sun, moon, night, 21st century, etc. - depending on the situation).

2) Send emoticons or a funny video

Various versions of emoticons or stickers are perfect for answering this seemingly banal question. Video clips are also suitable, most often no more than a few seconds, with various phrases appropriate to the situation. If you are at the computer, then you can find a thematic demotivator that reflects the whole essence of the problems that are currently pressing for you. For example, a photo of a man on a paraglider landing on a beach infested with crocodiles. You can also find a video quote from the film “Only Old Men Go to Battle” (for those who haven’t watched it, it’s a movie about the Great Patriotic War, about pilots), where one of the heroes, flying on a downed plane, answers on the radio: “Everything is fine, I'm falling!

3) Answer witty and funny

You can remember the same phrase in a telephone conversation if something in your life has really gone wrong.

You can use something close to this:

I'm flying, I just jumped with a parachute. And what? Not noticeable?
Oh, poor, unfortunate me, I’m so tired, because every time I have to come up with an answer to the question “How are you?”
In Africa, children are starving, but everything is fine.
Everything is covered in chocolate, even your cell phone!
Yes, okay, yesterday she received the Nobel Prize for her contribution to the development of the study of grooming and rearing of the laboratory rat, as well as for the discovery of nanotechnology that will help penguins overcome global warming and survive it in Hitler’s secret bunker.
I'm doing great! I look forward to hearing more about my personal life!
Relatively. If you compare it with Marx, then it’s great, if you compare it with a multimillionaire, then not so much.

Miscellaneous

How to respond to “Can I ask a question?”

This means that the person wants to ask you a question, but not some nonsense, but a more serious one. Maybe related to your personal life. Or maybe this person wants to find out how you feel about him. In any case, you can answer: Yes, of course! - this will show that trust has already appeared between you, and you are not averse to seeing the question.

If the question turns out to be something that you don’t want to answer, write: Is it possible for me not to answer this question? Please don't be offended.

How to answer the question “Why?”

Let's say a guy asks to meet, but you don't want to. He asks: "Why?" - that is, he wants to understand the reason and at the same time still hopes that you will change your mind. Most likely, he is offended. "Why?" - how to answer this question? It's best to tell the truth. For example, you don't want to date him because you don't like him. Then just write: “I don’t like you.” It would be enough.

What is the answer to “Because?”

When you ask “Why,” you may get the answer “Because.” Apparently, the person wants to say something along the lines of “Is it really not clear?!” If it is not clear, ask politely: Explain, please. Don't answer rudely.

"What are you?" What to answer, what am I?

What can you answer about yourself? What am I? Imagine that your good friends are talking about you. How would they describe you? What are you like - serious, funny, beautiful, cool, cool? So answer that. Write literally in two or three words to interest the guy, but at the same time not to scare him, if you have an interest in him. After all, girls love to intrigue men.

“I thought you wouldn’t answer”

With these words, the man seems to express: he was thinking about you and was worried that you would no longer want to communicate with him. But since you finally answered, he is very happy and hopes for further communication and development of the relationship.

Why doesn’t a person write or answer?

Perhaps he didn't read your message. Or he read it, but didn’t respond because he forgot or was distracted. Don't beat yourself up, it doesn't mean anything. Later, try to write again, give a signal. If you communicated on VK, but the communication was interrupted, you can still send an SMS.

How to respond to rudeness?

It is best to ignore the boor, that is, not pay attention to him and not answer anything. And for complete peace of mind, block this person if possible. More about this here:

What to do if you were insulted on VKontakte
How to block a person on VKontakte

How to respond to an offensive, negative comment?

You can answer like this: Listen, something is happening in your life, and I know that it has nothing to do with me. This is not something one writes in a good mood. Something makes you project your problems onto me. I'm sorry for whatever is going on with you. But I know for sure that this has nothing to do with me. Have a good day!

How to give a guy an original answer to the question “how are you?”

The one person you really want to show off your wit to is the opposite sex. Humor brings people together and disarms them.

These would be great answers:

Good mood, it would be nice to go for a walk, but there are no offers yet.
Amazing. After all, you are communicating with me.
Great, I’m improving in all directions!
Will you join? Guess! Hint: I smile when I talk to you.

When you don’t have the best relationship with a guy, and you want to push him away from you in different ways, you can give one of the following answers:

Constant mood swings, a tugging stomach, tense nerves like a string, and all sorts of other nasty things, in general, PMS. And how are you?
How do you think I'm doing? I was reading my favorite book, and now I had to be distracted because of some people walking around here.
Do you have any good reason to ask me this?

In addition to negative and positive, the answer can be neutral, but at the same time closed. You need to not push the person away from you, and at the same time show that the conversation is inappropriate now:

Everything is fine, beautiful marquise...
I'm doing some soul-searching.
I meditate.

Statuses about good mood

The world belongs to those who are happy with it. 17

To live and rejoice you need only two things: firstly, to live, and secondly, to rejoice. 22

How good it is when everything is fine! 22

Life is beautiful - that's a fact! And I love this fact! 31

A happy person is the one who smiles while looking into nowhere... ) 37

If you saw me without a smile, then it wasn't me. 25 — Statuses about a good mood

Promotion: everyone who smiles will get a good mood as a gift! 24

Time to be friends with happiness! 18

And life is wonderful! (antidepressants are found in chocolate) 15

The sun is shining and there are no more clouds in my head. 22

Smile! Open your eyes wider! Not everything is bad in this world! 12

A wonderful age: the nonsense has worn off, insanity is still far away! 9

Take advantage of a good mood, it comes so rarely. 16

Smiling is the cheapest way to look your best. 24

Give this day a chance to become the most beautiful day in your life! 23

I want variety to the point of ugliness... Ugliness for variety's sake... 15

Smile in the morning, drink coffee, get dressed, turn on the spring in your headphones and go where it’s good. 12

Don't let the world change your smile 29

Sometimes you have such dreams that you can afford to sleep all day! 10

Music makes the happy even happier, the unhappy even more unhappy. 15

Mood starting with X... Good, good 28

Someone will definitely ruin a good mood. The only question is how long it will last. 16

The heart is light from music, from salary, Friday evening and vacation. 7

Music. 10,000 years in the good mood market. 12

Oddly enough, sometimes a good mood comes from somewhere, just like that, for no reason. 8

Smile, skirt, heels and good mood 11

It's amazing how music can completely change your mood. eleven

For some reason, it is bad habits that contribute to a good mood. 7

Crazy good mood, I want to climb onto the roof and scream! 6

What did you do yesterday? - I was happy. 20

An ideal morning: you've slept well, you're in a good mood and there's sun outside. 19

Even in the worst weather, the mood can be sunny if those you are happy to see are nearby. 22

It turns out that my mood depends entirely on you... 9

Laughter for no reason is a sign of a great mood) 11

Business as usual - sometimes good, sometimes great! 17

The mood is like Carlson's! I want something sweet and have some fun! 17

Well, hello, mood, and I thought we wouldn’t see you again this year! 17

Good mood is best transmitted through sexual contact 12

Too good to sit at home. 20

Never give up on what makes you smile. eleven

Sun. Joy. Happiness. A smile on your face. Jeans. Positive. Love. 18

The day will come, and cats will not scratch their souls, but will purr loudly with happiness. 14

The most important thing is to have a good mood. The rest is a matter of brains and money. 13

Enjoy this day, it will never happen again! 23

A sense of humor, optimism and good mood will save the world. 15

Nice weather! Great mood! Happiness! 16

You're not fully dressed if you don't have a smile on your face. eleven

Everything will be fine in the end. Sugar at the bottom! 17

Do you want life to smile at you? Give her your good mood first. 4

If there is no reason to have fun, have fun on credit! 20

The best decoration is a great mood 16

It's raining today, so I'll be the sun! 14

The morning should be good, the day should be useful, and the evening should be memorable! 19

The mood is sparkling... 15

I lend, at interest, in a good mood. -12

How to answer the question “what are you doing?” to interest the interlocutor

Here it is important not only to be known as a witty person, but also to hook and intrigue your interlocutor.

For example, like this:

Right now? I'm answering your question!
And you guess three times! You guessed it - I'm done with the cookie.
I’m talking (online, chatting, etc.) with an intelligent person.

The last answer implies some kind of continuation, like:

Who are you communicating with? (Who is this smart guy?)
With you (You).

How to answer your lover or lover?

Couples in love can communicate all day long. To continue to arouse the interest of your significant other, you should give the most friendly answer

“With your arrival (appearance on the Internet), my mood immediately became excellent”;
“It’s very bad, because you’re not around right now”;
“It gets better as soon as I remember the moments spent with you”;
“Like Carlson - I always want sweets and play pranks”;
“No need to ask, my mood is the same as yours, because we are two halves of one whole.”

"How are you?" — What to say to a guy you like

From this simple question you can inflate an invitation to some action or conversation

Today I have a payday at work, and my mood matches the size of my salary.
I have a bottle of good, Armenian, five-star mood, if only you were around - and everything would be gorgeous.
I want to lift my nose up, but he looks down with a hook...

The first example is intriguing because I want to ask further: “What is your salary?” After this, you can start a long, unobtrusive conversation.

The second example is an open invitation to spend the evening together.

The third answer will indicate that you cannot cheer yourself up, but still try to joke. This is a veiled invitation to action. The guy will have to either entertain you over the phone or offer to go somewhere together.

How to answer your ex-boyfriend’s question “how are you?” in order to hurt him

Such questions from “ex” are not always sincere. Often a guy may want to tease you. And what’s most interesting is that this is done because the “ex” himself feels awkward when meeting you, but wants to show that he is on horseback.

Therefore, you need to answer in such a way as to upset him:

I was in a wonderful mood until I met you, my dear.
Great. What did you think that without you the Earth would stop rotating?
I’m creaking slowly, and quite annoyingly!
I won’t tell you, otherwise you’ll be jealous!
Great, unlike some.
Sorry, I had an autism attack when I saw you.

How to answer a stranger’s question: “how are you?”

They say that this method of communication or dating is common in the USA, but our people are not so liberated, and some still consider ordinary street dating bad manners. And if you don’t think so yourself, then you may simply not like the person you’re talking to who just dropped on your head out of nowhere.

Then you can “shave it off”:

What are you talking about?
Which ones exactly?
So, can you help?
What do you think?
Why do you need my business?
Absolutely nothing;
I'm doing my homework, I can't be distracted.
Sorry, but I'm busy;
Working;
I'm watching a movie;
How are you?
Why do you want it?
Is this really important for you to know?
I’m thinking about how to get rid of an annoying interlocutor.

It’s good to answer something in rhyme:

Not a bump on the head!
I bought some pants!
Like a church mouse!
We drank all the money.

Funny options

Jokes are most appropriate in a friendly dialogue, but with people you barely know or with your boss it is better to be more serious. It is unknown how humor like this will be received:

“It’s like I’m forced to go on a business trip by plane: I feel terrible, but I have to fly.”
“Like an autumn leaf: I don’t know which wind will blow it away in the next moment and where.”
“All cases have been transferred to the prosecutor.”
“Like in the fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm: the further you read them, the scarier they become.”
“It’s a bit difficult without sedatives.”
“Average for the area.”
“No business today!”

Rhyming answers can sound funny, even if they are about sad things. For example:

“My heart has been incinerated, and my flesh has already been burned to ashes, but still my saddest affairs are going on magnificently.”
“Everything is fine, I’m sleeping on the lampshade.”
"How's it going? Not a bump on my head!”

The best questions for guys or how to embarrass him

Make your interlocutor laugh if you are already tired of ordinary questions, and perhaps the conversation will take an interesting direction.

Cool answers to banal questions

In addition to the question “How are you?”, there are several more banal questions that you have to face almost every day. And if questions of this kind bother you with their triviality, then you can diversify everything with the help of answers.

1) How are you doing?

I am like Mars - there is no life, but everything is on fire.
But things have already passed by.
Some have it worse.
What's going on? Everything has already been handed over to the investigative committee.
I feel like a zebra.
Nothing has changed since yesterday's meeting.
Everything seems to be great, but, unfortunately, no one is jealous.
Life hits you over the head with a monkey wrench.
I'm like a button - every time - in a loop.
“That’s bad” (and let them guess where the mistake is).

2) What do you do?

I draw American presidents.
I am hiding from Scotland Yard workers in the underground organization of Freemasons.
I spit at the ceiling and try to dodge.
I envy you with black envy.
I am growing above myself.
I print money on a printer.
I count the bribes, sitting behind the thick curtains.
I'm investigating the brutal murder of a huge fly in the student cafeteria.
I cleanse the aura of my phone book from evil spirits.
I am answering your text message.

3) How is life young?

Yes, just like the old one.
Oh, it’s not a young life anymore.
It sings, blooms and smells.
How about your old one?
When I return to my youth, I will tell you.
My life sent greetings to yours.
Getting younger every day.
I'll ask her now.
Yesterday I asked her, she says it’s not bad.
Yes, she somehow passed by, leaving me the old one.

4) What's personal?

Everything is fine (in rhyme).
I'm going on the offensive.
Many of you were killed.
Not calm.
Like in a fairy tale: the further you go, the scarier it gets!
Intense battles are taking place.
Indecent (again in rhyme).
The enemy is running.
The horizon is clear.
Came out the winner.

5) What's new?

What do you remember from the old days?..
Here, I bought bread...
I grow, bloom, get old, everything is as usual.
I met you here
It seems the rain is starting…
So you can’t tell right away...
It seems that a dictator came to power, but I don’t remember in which country.
I don’t know, probably another season of Santa Barbara.
275 puppies were born in the world.
The moon seems to have lost its course...

What's behind this question?

People often ask things like this just to keep the conversation going. Silence is sometimes annoying. Therefore, if suddenly there is an awkward pause, or a person does not know where to start a conversation, such a question simply acts as an auxiliary tool for the conversation.

Sometimes, it's just a moment of politeness. And the questioner does not at all expect a sincere answer. A person wants to hear that everything is fine with the interlocutor, and he himself is ready to say the same about himself. It is unlikely that anyone will ask how you are feeling, expecting to hear about the negative mood of the interlocutor. More likely, this will be asked during verbal bullying.

If you want to go to an English-speaking country, for example, the USA or Canada, then such a question is common there simply because it is a moment of politeness and a greeting option. And you should answer it in a positive way, otherwise the person will pass off as strange at best, and rude at worst.

In the Russian-speaking space, they often directly ask “How are you?” without implying anything else. How to answer correctly in this or that case is not an easy question, but if you analyze possible situations, you can give a number of recommendations.

What to answer in different cases? This would seem to be a question without any pretense of seriousness, but sometimes it is critically important to answer it correctly. And the main thing for this is to understand the context in which it was given. Then there will be no misunderstanding, and the conversation will continue in the same or even more pleasant way.

A matter of politeness

If the interlocutor starts the conversation with this, then there is at least a fifty percent chance that this is just a sign of politeness. And here it will not be a mistake to answer in a positive way, even if it is not true.

Here's what to say:

"Fabulous!" (and synonyms);
“As beautiful as the day today!”;
"Great as always."

In the latter case, there is a clear hint that the answer is not being given entirely sincerely. However, this was done in a polite manner, so there is nothing wrong with this option.

“Beautiful, just like you”;
“Talking to you, I always feel like I’m in space”;
“There can’t be another one like yours.”

There are even more interesting options, but they are suitable only if the interlocutor clearly understands them. It is sometimes possible to answer a pen pal: “I feel weak in front of someone like you, but it makes me feel good.” It is clear that the situation should be conducive to such a comment.

If you are counting on a detailed, honest answer

Of course, if there is trust in the questioner, sometimes it is worth telling him everything as it is. But if you don’t want to go into details, you can use the following honest answers that will hint at this:

“Not really, but don’t think about it, I’m fine. And you?";
“Yes... As usual,” then you can quickly move on to another topic;
“It’s bad, but I think we’ll talk now and it will get better.”

Such phrases will not greatly overshadow the conversation. But they will add sincerity, and the conversation will quickly turn into intimate. But this is only suitable in a situation where people know each other and are ready to speak with confidence.

If a stranger asks how you’re feeling, and it’s clear that the person is counting on a sincere answer, it might be better to answer in a veiled and indirect manner, for example: “It’s been better,” “Not bad,” “Excellent as usual.” You should not share your emotional state with those in whom you do not yet trust, because later it may be used against you.

What to ask instead of “how are you?”

How are you doing?
What's up?
Like at home?
How are things going, really?
What are you doing?
How was your day?
What happened at work (school)?
What did you do today?
What are your plans for the future?
How are you (yourself)?

All these questions also fall into the category of banal ones. They can be asked to any person, even a stranger. But if you want to show concern for someone, then you need to ask the person exactly what he is living with now. If you are studying, then ask a question regarding school, college, or institute. If you communicate with a young parent, then you need to ask how the child is. Conversations about babies can be truly endless. The only thing that can compete with this topic is a conversation about pets, because they are like children to us.

Passionate people have their own inexhaustible topics: theater, photography, literature, fine arts, dancing, electronics, cars, fishing, football... The main thing is to know what a person is passionate about, and to be at least a little in the subject. And then everything will work out!

Maximum details!

Usually, when asked about your affairs, the last thing people expect is to hear a detailed account of the events happening in your life. Of course, you shouldn’t get carried away and describe all the details. However, you can reveal a little more information, especially if something interesting really happened to you.

For example, you can talk about how you recently found an interesting cake recipe and brought it to life, or read a great book. This will allow you to develop the conversation and find topics for communication.