Do people change for the sake of or after something

Do people change: psychology

A person tends to change every day. After all, it is influenced by the social environment and surroundings. An individual who communicates with a certain group of people tends to adopt their habits and traditions. Accordingly, after long-term communication, people can finish each other’s phrases, or think the same way. These factors are considered external, but are directly related to the internal characteristics of a person.

Do people change, psychology:

Almost all people are suggestible and prone to imitation. In order to get close to a certain person or group of people, you need to accept their habits, gestures, and try to copy them. This happens on a subconscious level.
Of course, internal factors and nature most actively affect human behavior. All individuals are different, differing in temperament, as well as mental characteristics. If a person's social environment is favorable, it contributes to the development of a person's potential, as well as the nature of the individual.
Within a person lies the need for self-realization, self-determination, and is a kind of engine of change. It is the desire to become better, to self-actualize, that drives a person, contributing to the emergence of various kinds of changes.

Wisdom

Do people change over time: psychology

People change for certain reasons. For example, a person understands that a given lifestyle or activity is harmful to him and can threaten life and health.

Do people change over time, psychology:

A person changes if he understands that this profession does not generate income. You need to change your personal qualities, habits and skills in order to earn more. External factors are a kind of motivation, and they have a very weak effect on human changes, unlike internal ones. This is why change is much more difficult for someone else than for yourself.
Selfishness and pride play a key role, because most of all a person is able to do for himself, and not for the sake of someone else. That is why treatment of bad habits associated with alcoholism is much faster and easier if the person himself wants it, agreeing to rehabilitation. At the same time, alcoholics are absolutely incapable of changing for the sake of their wife and children, despite the fact that they agree to treatment.
The main reason for change is a person’s internal motivation. Next, willpower comes into play. People only change if they want to. After all, any changes are accompanied by conscious work on oneself. Thanks to painstaking work, individuals get rid of a large number of bad habits and character traits. Only by working on yourself can you get rid of talkativeness, aggression, isolation, and secrecy. These are basically character traits, and they can also be adjusted. People who complain about their character are actually just lazy and are not ready to change anything.

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Change and willpower

External factors act as external motivation. It is less stable than intrinsic motivation. Making changes for someone else is less likely to succeed than making changes for oneself, for personal well-being and harmony, or after traumatic life events.

Thus, treatment of alcoholism or drug addiction will be more successful if a person who has received an overdose is afraid, admits the problem and agrees to full rehabilitation. Alcoholics rarely change for family, friends, employer or loved one. There can be only one exception: without this person, the addict is much worse off; he literally cannot survive without him.

Motivation is more important than willpower. But changes largely depend on it. The formulation “do people change for the sake of or after something” already suggests that we are talking about a person’s conscious work on himself. Only with the help of complex and long-term work on themselves do people get rid of indecisiveness, rudeness, naivety, isolation, talkativeness, aggressiveness, etc.

You probably noticed that all of the above are character qualities. Yes, a person’s character is most amenable to change. And the phrase “I have such a character” is an excuse for laziness. Character, values, attitudes, beliefs, habits, patterns of behavior can be changed. Yes. This is hard. Therefore, strong motivation and a specific goal are the main condition for success.

Why does a person's character change?

It is impossible to change a person’s psychotype and temperament. After all, from birth, every person has certain character traits that create the main line of behavior. The development of a person is influenced by his environment. But overall, the core remains the same as it was from birth. However, this does not mean that you need to relax and go with the flow.

Why does a person’s character change?

Some negative character traits can be smoothed out and tried to get rid of them. As a result of constant work on oneself, a person can correct his behavior and get rid of negative character traits.
Irritability, as well as the ability to build relationships with people, is hereditary. Accordingly, it is quite difficult for people who do not like to communicate with society to change themselves. This does not mean that a person is obliged to sit indoors or work remotely.
If you constantly work on yourself, then even an introvert will turn into a person who works in public. All character traits can be developed and, if necessary, hidden. The main genetic component is the ability of people to change. This contributes to adaptation not only to climatic conditions, but also to a certain social environment and standard of living.

Changes

Changes and genetics

Not everything in a person can be changed. For example, psychotype and temperament cannot be changed. But you can correct those qualities that seem undesirable. It is almost impossible to change what is genetically inherent in a person. For example, abilities, inclinations and individual predispositions to something.

But it is important to understand that inclinations only push and pull a person towards something. Behavior depends on the individual himself and the environment that surrounds him. We decide for ourselves which of our inclinations to indulge and which to keep under control.

It is also interesting that in every person there is something like a computer program. Talents and inclinations manifest themselves strictly at the time when this should happen. If you try to develop something in yourself earlier, nothing will work. It is important not to stop analyzing your own development, tracking sensitive periods for favorable changes and working on yourself. Not all qualities and abilities are noticeable in childhood; for example, the talent of an artist can manifest itself by the age of 20-30.

Some researchers believe that even traits such as irritability and sociability, and the ability to build and maintain close relationships, are inherited. The ability to overcome stress or adapt is also genetic, but this can also be developed if desired.

And even the ability to change itself has a genetic component. Not all people are naturally endowed with great potential for change. But this only means that changing yourself will be a little more difficult than for those who are endowed with different genetics.

How quickly do people change?

We have heard repeatedly from various sources that people do not change. However, psychologists and psychiatrists say the opposite.

How quickly people change:

Instantly. Most often, internal change is facilitated by mental shock. Usually this is the death of someone close to you, or the birth of a child. As a result of these events, the emotional shock is very strong, which forces you to rethink your life attitudes.
Gradually. The development of consciousness contributes to changes. This is a kind of spiritual growth of a person that is invisible to others. Every day a person improves himself and develops his consciousness. All these changes occur very smoothly, and as a result, the friends who previously surrounded the person disappear. This is due to a change in a person’s worldview and his desires. A person’s inner experience, which accumulates over the years, develops consciousness. Thanks to this, the individual looks at the world with different eyes.

Masks

Possible reasons for change

Having suffered a serious illness, as well as a serious illness of a loved one, can greatly affect changes in personality

Psychology considers a number of factors that can influence a person, changing his usual way of life, his character, type of worldview, and personal attitudes. The most common reasons include:

Severe mental shock. It can be both negative and positive. For example, the death of a loved one or the birth of a child.
Having spiritual growth. A person gradually improves, daily learns about the world around him, and develops his consciousness. People who are nearby may not notice the changes that occur. As for acquaintances with whom there has been no contact for a long period, when they meet a changed person, they will immediately notice the changes that have occurred. This includes the accumulated experience that changes a person, distinguishes what he was like 10 years ago and now. After all, mistakes made and acquired wisdom allow you to look at the world around you in a new way. However, not everyone changes with age. This is due to the presence or absence of the ability to evaluate the path traveled.
The impact of life circumstances. For example, an individual who has served time in prison can change, both for the worse and for the better. Changing jobs, moving to a new city, all this can affect a person. Finding himself in the company of self-sufficient individuals, the individual begins to change unnoticed by himself, improving his qualities. However, some people, even in the presence of such factors, adapt to environmental changes, remaining unchanged.
Finance is a driver of change, both negative and positive. So, for example, a person with a closed soul, having received a large amount of money, can spend it left and right, allocate considerable sums to charity, and not regret anything. And the previously good-natured, open personality withdraws from the world around him.
The age crisis can leave its mark. Between thirty and forty years, there is often a lack of perfect plans that were previously outlined. A person reconsiders his views, sometimes he can change his way of existence, some qualities can strengthen and become stronger, while others can weaken. Liberation from illusions occurs. Crisis of old age (age over 70 years) - a person analyzes his past, reevaluates himself, notes positive and negative moments in his life. If everything suits him, he understands that he has the right character traits. If he becomes aware of the lack of some qualities, he tries to change himself. At this age, changes are often caused by the loss of loved ones or loneliness.
The presence of a protracted illness forces you to change your usual lifestyle for a long period of time. And a disease that threatens death forces you to reconsider your entire life path. Often a person changes under the influence of his approaching death, even if he managed to avoid it.

Why does a person change dramatically?

Temperament is an innate quality that is difficult to change. It can be corrected as a result of working on oneself. A choleric person is unlikely to become a melancholic person and vice versa. But some of the most striking character traits can be changed or hidden. This is possible as a result of working on yourself.

Why does a person change dramatically?

Circumstances can change a person’s psychology. As in the first case, this is a strong emotional experience. Promotes changes not only for the better, but also for the worse. This usually happens due to moving or changing jobs. If a person is returned to previous conditions, his behavior will be restored.
Finance. They are also capable of changing a person, both for the better and for the worse. After all, very often a revolution occurs in the soul of a person who has become rich. People who were very greedy start spending money on charity.
Bereavement, illness of relatives, death of a loved one.

Emotions

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Can a person change radically?

How correctly it is said, “to each according to his faith!” But from my own experience and from the observations that I have made over 16 years of working on myself and helping other people, I will certainly say “yes, a person can change dramatically.”

Changing a person is, first of all, a change in his programs of consciousness: beliefs (life attitudes), programs for perceiving himself, his life and the world around him. But not all so-called development masters really know how to do this and teach it :)

And now about everything in more detail...

Can a person change radically?

Greetings friends! Question from our reader Alexander: Can a person truly change? That is, by working on yourself, to actually become a qualitatively different person, a different, stronger, more confident and brighter Personality? Or is everything predetermined by genes and, as you wrote in the article “Stages of Personality Formation,” by parental programming from childhood?

Great question! And all people need to know the answer to it, especially those who want to change something in themselves, reveal some talents, develop strong personal qualities and get rid of weaknesses, vices and shortcomings.

Answer: Yes! A person can change radically, change precisely as a Personality, and not just externally, by changing his image and all that. It is a myth that a person cannot be changed! You can't change only someone who doesn't want to change.

Also, I immediately want to remove the fear of many people who believe that if they change, they will lose themselves! This is absurd and boundless stupidity! A person loses himself, his soul, his individuality when he buries them under a thick layer of his problems, accumulated suffering and weaknesses, multiplied vices, negative emotions that corrode the soul and bad habits that destroy the body. This is what actually leads to a complete loss of oneself and one's individuality.

And a person who does not know who he is, why he lives, why he was born and what good he wants to do with his life - he never knew himself and his individuality, has not yet found it. Therefore, such a person has nothing to lose except his weaknesses, ignorance, delusions and problems. This person has not yet begun to understand himself and his inner world. Although I could read a bunch of “smart” books on the topic “How to live” and fill my intellect to capacity with theoretical knowledge, in reality, in practice, I would never move in life.

Most people who are so afraid of losing themselves and their individuality, in fact, have not even found themselves yet! Because 99% of them have no idea who they are! Who is this Man?

The basics of where a person’s ability to change and develop comes from

Of course, there are still adherents of the old materialistic worldview who naively believe that everything is in the genes, and nothing can be changed! But their theory has never been confirmed historically or factually. After all, millions of people who have set the appropriate goal successfully change themselves, develop, overcome their problems and reveal their talents and their potential!

Let's look into history! How many outstanding brilliant scientists came from worker-peasant families! Mikhail Lomonosov - from the village, was the son of a Pomor from a family of fishermen. Where then do the genes of a brilliant scientist come from? Schubert was the son of a master who made carriages. Victor Hugo was the son of a farmer. All of Beethoven's relatives were involved in vineyards. The artist Orest Kiprensky was the son of a serf. And so on and so forth. And what do genes have to do with it, I ask you? By the way, three modern presidents - Putin, Lukashenko and the former president of Ukraine, Yanukovych, also come from the outback, from villages and simple working families.

The reverse is also true! When the modern scions of royal families, noble blood, dukes and princes - everywhere demonstrate weakness of character, descent into vices, stupidity, stupidity and every lack of nobility. How they destroy the worthy reputation of their noble ancestors that has developed over centuries and all the myths that genes determine everything, including a person’s personal qualities.

Nobility, dignity, honor, strength of character, talents and qualities - at all times were determined by purposeful long-term education, spiritual mentoring and a person’s continuous work on himself! And you can read about these systems of human upbringing and development on the Internet.

Now to the point! To understand why a person can change, it is necessary to first understand who a Man is, what a Soul is and what a person’s Consciousness is.

After all, scientists have not yet found, either in the human body or in his genes, those hundreds and thousands of spiritual qualities and personal characteristics that people possess. Where exactly in the body is Honor, Dignity, Self-Belief, Respect, Kindness, Courage, Sincerity, Influence, Leadership, Charisma, Love, Gratitude, Loyalty and hundreds of other qualities, values and feelings? Because all these are the qualities of a person’s Soul, his consciousness!

Therefore, every person, if he wants, can change himself radically, form the necessary qualities, values, feelings, emotions, habits and reactions. If, of course, he knows how to do it.

But you need to keep in mind that changing yourself is always very difficult, painstaking and lengthy mental work. But it's worth it! After all, having gotten rid of at least one bad habit that ruins a person’s life (alcoholism, for example), his fate can radically change for the better. And by developing just one key quality, for example, discipline, a person can achieve 10 times more in his life than he had before. Therefore, it is always worth striving to change yourself! You just need to figure out and not make mistakes about what you need to get rid of, what to cultivate in yourself, and how to do it effectively.

But, before moving on to the question of how a person changes, let me remind you of the well-known wisdom: “It is impossible to change a person unless he very much wants it.” Therefore, the first condition for a person to change is that he himself must want it with all his soul!

If you approach your development seriously and professionally, you can change a lot, because you can develop almost everything in yourself! Any problem can be solved! And any talent, any ability or quality that you have ever heard of can be revealed in yourself. The basis for this is Knowledge, appropriate Methods and work on yourself!

And further! When someone tells you that a person cannot change, always look at the root - look at the person’s motives, why he says that. Very often this is said by those who want to justify themselves and their shortcomings, their own spiritual and mental laziness to change something in their lives and in themselves! And also those who really don’t wish you well and may die of envy if you suddenly manage to become better, stronger, smarter and achieve much more than them.

Never focus on such people! Focus on the best! Those who never stop there and don’t justify their problems and weaknesses, but solve them! Who knows what it is to work on yourself and made yourself!

There are many such examples not only in history , but also in the modern world , these are billionaire businessmen, public figures, scientists and many others. etc. Most of them do not come from rich families and there were no brilliant scientists or hereditary billionaires among their ancestors. By the way, they write about this in their books. By their own example, by their own fate, they prove to the whole world for the millionth time that a person can and must change if he wants to achieve something in this life!

And finally, I want to recommend you watch the movie “16 Blocks”, starring Bruce Willis. The whole point is at the end of the film :) Good luck!

Best regards, Vasily Vasilenko

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Do people change for the sake of their loved ones: psychology

Relationships between people always seem very complex. Sometimes girls meet young men who do not meet their idea of an ideal man. In such conditions, a woman begins to change a man, or try to do so. Which often becomes the reason for the breakdown of relationships and a large number of divorces. This does not mean that a person is not able to change. A man is capable of transforming beyond recognition, however, under certain conditions.

Do people change for the sake of their loved ones, psychology:

There is a category of women who live with rude, oppressive men with sadistic tendencies. Such men are capable of throwing hysterics, shaking their nerves, and raising their hands against a woman. A relationship is established between a man and a woman, where she is the victim, and he is the pursuer or maniac. In this case, the woman gives her energy to the man, and he feeds on it. In order for such a man to change, changes are necessary in the psychology and perception of the woman herself.
It is necessary for the victim to stop giving energy to the man, she is tired of the role of the victim, she is tired of living in such a relationship. The woman gives the man an ultimatum and says that she is leaving. However, you should not manipulate, a huge number of women do this. You can’t play the “go away” game, as it will soon stop working, and it’s not a fact that it will work the first time. You need to be decisive and change yourself.
It is necessary that in her soul the woman wants to stop dating this man and live as before. Only in such cases is a man able to change. There are also two options for the development of events. Due to the woman’s changes and her reluctance to give energy, the man changes, his worldview and attitude are transformed.

Sometimes a man does not want to change, but the relationship in the old version is no longer possible, and the couple breaks up. In approximately 80% of cases, the relationship breaks down. Only 20% of couples actually change for each other. This applies not only to men, but also to women.

Relax

Why people don't change: psychology

There are several reasons why a person is resistant to change.

Why people don't change, psychology:

His reluctance. An individual is absolutely comfortable living in such a situation and promoting a certain lifestyle.
The person feels very weak. He does not have enough strength to carry out some changes, since they are associated with a certain job.
The environment and surroundings hold a person back, preventing him from changing. In fact, this reason is not so important, since changes occur due to the desire of the person himself, and not the environment. But the environment can affect some features of human behavior. For example, a woman wants to lose weight, but spends time in the company of relatives and friends whose remote control beeps. They are used to eating unhealthy food. Accordingly, in such an environment it is very difficult to go on a diet or join a gym. Because everything around us is different. It is necessary to gradually change the environment and do what is convenient for you. Of course, under no circumstances should you break off relations with your relatives and friends. However, try to reduce your interactions with them. Communicate with them only when there is no risk of you breaking down. Over time, when you lose weight, you find like-minded people, perhaps some of your relatives will be inspired by your example, and they will also want to change.
The main reason for fear of change is the fear of what others will think when you start to change. People who are self-confident, even somewhat selfish, always change much faster and more effectively than people with weak character.
Weak willpower. Very often, after several failures, a person gives up his idea. Although it is necessary to develop your willpower and character, try to achieve your dream an unlimited number of times.
No severe pain. After a certain shock, a person is able to change. In comfortable conditions, the desire for change may not arise.
Not knowing where to start. The hardest thing to start a transformation is to set your goals. Therefore, at the initial stage of change, it is necessary to clearly build an action plan and understand what you want from yourself. It is very difficult to change if there is no understanding of how to do it, for what reason.

Argument

Why do people change for the worse?

There are several reasons why a person changes for the worse.

Why do people change for the worse?

Reluctance to constantly work on oneself. As you know, it is always easier to degrade than to develop and improve. For degradation there is no need to do work on oneself. It’s enough to be lazy and follow your desires or instincts.
Environment. If a person has a specific environment, he is surrounded by dishonest people, thieves or deceivers, then it is very difficult in such an environment to remain honest and true to his principles. As a result of the influence of others, a person changes for the worse, adapting to them. AND
Deception from other people. Simply put, a person is disappointed in his surroundings, in loved ones, relatives, and therefore does not see the point in developing and being good for someone. First of all, he should be comfortable for himself.

Masks

Do people change in relationships?

People change in relationships, and these changes may not be initially noticeable. Indeed, family is the closest people who surround a person.

Do people change in relationships?

The habits of a spouse can significantly affect the psychology of another person, changing it. That is why colossal changes are often observed, as a result of which a person changes, both for the better and for the worse.
Although in 70% of cases changes occur for the worse. People usually tend to adopt negative traits from each other. This is why people in marriage often change not for the better, but, on the contrary, copy the character traits of their partner. However, the opposite situation also exists, this happens in couples in which there are very strong feelings and affection for each other.
People are ready to change for each other, completely transforming their way of life. It becomes a habit and we notice positive changes in some people's lives. First of all, this happens due to strong feelings that overpower a person’s desire to do as is convenient for him.
It is necessary to ensure that a person’s desire to change becomes a priority. This is very difficult to do. If partners do not have feelings or strong attachment, then no changes will occur. At the initial stage, there may be promises that will lead nowhere. A person is able to change only if he is strongly attached or loves.

Internal struggle

IS A PERSON ABLE TO CHANGE?

Psychological and pedagogical review

I am often asked the question: is a person capable of change? Of course, not in the sense of adjusting for a while, but in the sense of changing your ideas, your behavior in the direction of developing yourself and not returning to the old way. So that it becomes, as they say, better, more efficient, more capable, more productive and everything that people mean when they use this word - “development”, most often covering up their own stagnation and inevitable degradation.

In understanding this term, I myself cannot yet be original and agree with humanists who argue that the essence of development is that a person must develop humanity in himself, while becoming a person with the ability to defend his humanity. Having served in concentration camps or endured other hardships, Fromm, Maslow, Rogers, Frankl apparently understood what they were talking about when they personally observed educated, well-mannered, well-groomed young people in beautiful, expensive, respectable uniforms who easily burned and shot hundreds, thousands and millions...

Therefore, a developing person must be treated with both trepidation and caution, understanding that he still only has the prerequisites to become a person and the inclinations to become a person. It is not yet clear what will grow. Of course, none of these literate people in beautiful uniforms could be called either a person or a person. These were people who had destroyed their human and personal inclinations or exchanged them for momentary benefits. Such people are called neurotics...

So, is a person capable of change? I think that not everyone and not always. And if he is capable, then this is his great work and/or the work of his parents - the environment that raised him, in the broad sense of the word, when the latter is understood both as his environment, and as the traditions on which he grew up, and what he was able to create materially and spiritually around himself. Not an easy task, isn't it? And how to solve it when a person thinks about everything and talks about whom, just so as not to talk or think about himself.

“Why do you drink?” I asked one intelligent, progressive and humane person in every sense, who regularly drank alcohol in the evenings. “So as not to think,” he replied. Yes, that’s understandable... During the day he thought in diagrams. It was easy. He was busy with work and had no time. But his evening fatigue could not provide him with such a high-quality and intense load. His brain remained free. He could not stand his ability to think and think about anything, since he did not know how to think about himself and had not learned to talk about himself.

I emphasize once again: he was, in my opinion, a man above average in his humanity. We have few of those above average, but most likely they exist somewhere, and I hope that one of them is me... But in general the situation is more primitive.

At the same time, self-observation is a great power. It moves a person and his story in the sense that it forces him to disagree with either history or himself.

Does the writer re-read his work? Probably, and most often, more than once. For what purpose is he doing this? Does he doubt his talent, check the correctness and quality of what he has written, or gain writing experience from himself? Both at the same time, but most importantly because of disagreement with oneself. Either with the one who wrote it or with the one who reads it. This is no longer the same person. This is a person who expressed himself in his work, as if he saw himself, became acquainted with his thoughts and therefore became different. And, despite the fact that disagreement with oneself makes one experience emotional withdrawal, the artist cannot imagine himself without this fragment of creativity.

Just as a writer develops his talent, a person develops the capacity for human development in himself by reconsidering what happens to him. Sometimes, after reading, the writer rearranges his essay. Does a person rebuild his life? Why doesn't every person do this equally in their lives?

In order to explain something, let's return to creative writing. At school I couldn't write essays. I copied them - either from somewhere, or from someone - and managed to do it completely grammatically incorrectly, and, naturally, I received unsatisfactory grades even in middle school (if we talk about essays, although in relation to studies in general this happened earlier ) I understood that this activity was not for me and that there were more necessary and important things to do, more comfortable, finally - i.e. my deeds that make up my precious life. But we’ll survive the essay somehow. We’ll survive school, we’ll survive college, and we’ll survive ourselves too.

Most people, of course, are not born with this attitude, but they enter “adult” life. Somehow get through what you need to do today in order to save your valuable life for later, for when the time comes, but for now do something pleasant. Watching TV, for example... or being in a bar. And I see no difference between these two dependencies, between any use of “indiscriminately.” There are not two, not three, but many more such dependencies and they are much less obvious. For example, dependence on vanity, cowardice, etc. A whole kaleidoscope of dependencies through which a person observes what surrounds him and himself.

In general, there is something to cover up your... degradation.

It turns out that a person has no chance to change himself: he walks in circles, stumbling over grievances, mistrust and misunderstanding of others and a derogatory fear of his spontaneity. Not in a spiral! And in circles!

When a child is taught to write an essay, and generally taught anything, he must first of all be taught not to be afraid of what is written, neither from the point of view of the fact that when he says it out loud and they may laugh at him, this is called fear of evaluation from the outside those around him, nor from the point of view that he himself will be disappointed in what he hears from himself. This can be taught only by being able to admire the child’s individuality, his spontaneity, regardless of the inaccuracies that he naturally makes in his work. He works, he works! Who has ever done a job absolutely accurately? Remember how it was written? Let him throw first...

Unfortunately, many teachers either do not remember this or do not understand. First, I heard or read the idea somewhere (in my opinion, from Soloveitchik), and then at some point I formulated it again: learning does not come from the word “fate,” but from the word “participation.” Without support from significant others and without the ability for emotional self-support, there is no way to talk about development. And support is extremely necessary, because development does not happen on its own, and even when the goal is clear, there are a colossal number of external and internal obstacles on the way.

Having been engaged in pedagogy for more than twenty years in one form or another every day, listening to the objections of parents, children, high school students and students, which they used instead of systematically doing basic things and achieving progress in education and development, I once practiced came to understand the “comfort zone”. It suddenly sounded like this in my head: if it’s convenient for you to raise a child, then you’re not raising him. And then I realized - this is generally true, if you are comfortable... then you are not... But if you strive for this, despite the fact that you may be uncomfortable for some time, understanding why - this is a completely different matter .

Development is hard work, the purpose of which is to feel the euphoria of superiority over oneself for those who at first were lazy, bored, did not need it, and now suddenly it has become necessary.

There is one more important addition that indicates the correctness of the development vector and answers the question: “Are you going there with such diligence?” The question is, what will a person spend this feeling of euphoria from superiority over himself on? What gift will he reward himself for doing difficult work? One that is akin to instant gratification and is guaranteed to lead to addiction and slavery? Or the ability to keep this feeling to himself, without sticking it out, realizing that someday, if not for himself, then for someone else, this saving might come in handy? Even without even understanding when and to whom! Isn't this called generosity?

That's all that can be said briefly on this topic. Of course, you can write a lengthy manual, providing it with theoretical justification, examples and practical techniques. But I'm lazy. I did not learn to write an essay at school, but I am grateful to fate only that the half-thoughts written here formed in my head, and my feelings liberated my fingers and forced them to type, despite the wasted hour and a half of my “precious” life.

And for those who, like me, are puzzled by the question of whether a person is capable of change, there is more surprise from the discovery of humanity in oneself. And one more request: do not waste what you suddenly discovered in yourself, save it.

Vyacheslav Simonov, Rector of the Voronezh Institute of Psychology.

Photo: artist Vladimir Kush

How does a person change when he stops drinking?

Serious changes are visible after a person stops drinking.

How does a person change when he stops drinking?

A person may remain psychologically dependent for several years, resulting in a significant change in character.
Many note that from a kind and patient person, a teetotaler turns into an angry, hot-tempered, and outspoken one. This happens for several reasons.
A person is simply not interested in his previous environment, since his interests have changed.
It is very difficult for a sober person to be in the company of drunk people; their conversations are not interesting and cannot interest a sober person.

Addiction

Why does a person change: reviews

Below you can read reviews from those who have experienced changes in people.

Why a person changes, reviews:

Victor . I drank all my life, I had a huge number of friends. Thanks to this, I got behind the wheel drunk and drove several times. Since he worked as a driver, he did not have time to get away from the constant drinking bouts. On one of these days I had an accident at work. As a result of this, he lost his job and was in a coma for several days. After that I stopped drinking. I am sure that only difficult life situations change people. Then I was between life and death, and God gave me a second chance. I couldn’t spend it on alcohol, constant drinking and showdowns with my wife.
Valentina. I got married at the age of 17. However, my relationship with my husband did not work out, since the marriage happened because of my pregnancy. My husband apparently didn’t have enough fun and didn’t have any special feelings for me. That's why my life was unbearable. One day I said that I was leaving, but he did not attach any importance to it. I packed my things and moved in with my parents. A week later he came and begged to come back. I decided to give him a chance. Unfortunately, nothing has changed. Two years later I left and never came back. I am very glad that I was able to break off the relationship and change my attitude towards marriage. I think that it was not necessary to get married because of pregnancy and force a person who does not love you to marry.
Veronica. I lived with my husband for 10 years. He is a fairly calm person, but recently he has begun to change. Coming home late, making excuses for delays at work. However, I understood that something was wrong. Later I found out that he has a woman. Over time, this was confirmed, he said that he was leaving. He accused me of being overweight and unwilling to change. I really gained weight during maternity leave and became uninteresting. And imagine his surprise when they met 2 years later. I lost a lot of weight and began to relate to men differently. I believe that he gave me the impetus that allowed me to change for the better.

Relationship

Types of Disorders and Personality Changes

Personality disorders and changes are described, on the one hand, by a set of specific traits, values and attitudes inherent in a particular character; on the other hand, according to the level of personality development.

Personality disorders

In this regard, they are divided into several types:

paranoid (excessive sensitivity to failures, constant dissatisfaction with what is happening around, vindictiveness, refusal to forgive insults, a tendency to accept neutral actions of people as hostile, conspiratorial interpretation of many events)

schizoid (emotional coldness, weak interest in social contacts, inability to show any feelings towards other people, preference for solitary activities, preoccupation with fantasies, theories or one’s own inner world, insensitivity to social norms, lack of close friends and desire to have close contacts)

dissocial (heartlessness, indifference to other people's feelings, disregard for social norms, one's rights and responsibilities; inability to maintain relationships, despite the fact that they are established well; intolerance of refusal, ease of aggression up to violence and causing injury, inability to learn lessons from life experience, inability to feel guilty, tendency to blame others for everything, completely justifying oneself)

emotionally unstable (emotional instability, difficulty in self-control, frequent outbursts of aggression, intolerance of refusal (frustration), impulsivity)

hysterical (exaggerated expression of emotions, theatricality, suggestibility, susceptibility to the influence of the opinions of others or circumstances, superficiality and instability of emotions, constant desire for strong emotions, desire to be the center of attention, constant desire for recognition from others, excessive preoccupation with physical attractiveness, excessive desire to seduce , seduce others, touchiness, egocentrism, constant manipulation of others)

anancaste (excessive caution, a tendency to constantly doubt, excessive concern with rules, schedules, schedules, details; perfectionism, the desire for perfection, which prevents the completion of tasks; inadequate concern for productivity and implementation of the plan to the detriment of pleasure and maintaining social connections; pedantry, weak variability of behavior , stubbornness)

anxious (avoidant, avoidant) (constant heavy apprehension, anxiety, self-image as unattractive, unworthy, inferior to others; preoccupation with criticism or social rejection; increased sensitivity to rejection and criticism; reluctance to enter into relationships no guarantee of being liked; reluctance to engage in work that involves the possibility of being rejected or criticized)

dependent (the desire to shift the solution of important issues in one’s life to others, the subordination of one’s needs to the needs of the one on whom one depends; reluctance to make even reasonable demands on those on whom one depends; a feeling of helplessness in loneliness due to the inability to live independently; constant fear of being abandoned by a person dependent; reduced ability to make decisions in everyday life without outside advice and encouragement)

other personality disorders: expansive, passive-aggressive, narcissistic, unrestrained, disinhibited, eccentric, and others

Personality changes

after experiencing a disaster (hostile or distrustful attitude towards the world, emptiness, a feeling of hopelessness, social isolation, constant feeling of threat, “existence on the brink of a disaster” for at least 2 years after the disaster)

after suffering a mental disorder (excessive dependence on others and placing excessive demands on them; persistent belief in one’s own change, “wrongness” due to the illness, which makes it difficult to establish relationships and connections; passivity, decreased interests and passion for what was of interest before; constant complaints illness, hypochondriasis; sad-angry (dysphoria) or mood swings; significant decline in social and work functioning)

Among other things, there is a whole class of mature personality disorders that currently cannot be fully explained by either hereditary or environmental factors.