Perfectionists and perfectionism: what they are and what to do about it

Who is a perfectionist?
Causes of perfectionism
What is perfectionist paralysis?
How are perfectionism and procrastination related?
How to get rid of perfectinism?

The term “ perfectionism ,” previously known mainly to specialists, is now probably known to even children. Indeed, this topic is trending today, especially since perfectionists are quite common in our society. However, the meaning of this word is not fully understood by many. Let's figure out what perfectionism is , where it comes from, and what to do if you suddenly begin to realize that you also suffer from a similar “illness.” By the way, even a simple awareness of this fact is already a big step forward towards overcoming the problem. And the fact is that perfectionism really is a problem.

, which seriously complicates life, psychologists have no doubt.

What is perfectionism?

What is the meaning of the term “perfectionism”? Even in ancient times, scientists wrote about what perfectionism is. The term first appeared in the 19th century. The meaning of the concept of “perfectionism” is the belief that the goal of all people is to improve themselves and others. Simply put, a person must become the best in everything: in his talents, work, moral beliefs, life.

Perfectionism is the achievement of an unattainable ideal. As a rule, perfectionism is a fine line between low self-esteem due to one's imperfections and the understanding that others are far from the level that the perfectionist has achieved. In ancient times, the manifestation of perfectionism was admired, but in our time it is the subject of jokes and sometimes ridicule.

How does perfectionism manifest itself?

Perfectionism as a character trait can be noticed from childhood: the child will finish what he starts and will be very sensitive to criticism.
If his work is not assessed with the highest score, he will be upset and suffer, but if he is praised, he will strive to continue to do everything with a bang, achieving constant applause and admiration from others.
A perfectionist is distinguished by the following traits: evaluating himself and everyone around him, comparing himself with others, complete control of his feelings towards family and friends.
He is afraid that because of his shortcomings he will be scolded and turned away from.
Such people do not know how to rest, and sometimes even sleep peacefully, they constantly overwhelm themselves with non-existent problems, and in especially severe cases they can even reach the point of suicidal acts.

Psychologists answer the question “what is perfectionism?” – they say that this is a phenomenon of psychological disorder.

Synonyms for the word “perfectionist” (as well as words and expressions similar in meaning)

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(verb)
is clear proportionate:

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Related words (by topic)

People: perfectionist, workaholic, neurotic, individualist, masochist
Actions: introspection, avoidance, self-expression, self-improvement, redefinition
Abstract concepts: perfectionism, procrastination, self-esteem, dissatisfaction, self-realization

Associations to the word “perfectionist”

Sentences containing "perfectionist"

The fact is that many people, starting to adhere to the system, try to be perfectionists
, introducing all the necessary changes in one day in order to give up losing weight after a week.

The meaning of the word "perfectionist"

1. religious follower of perfectionism (Wiktionary)

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The meaning of the word "perfectionist"

1. religious perfectionist

Sentences containing "perfectionist"

The fact is that many people, starting to adhere to the system, try to be perfectionists

, in one day they introduce all the necessary changes in order to give up losing weight after a week.

The task was complicated by the fact that since childhood I have been a terrible perfectionist

perfectionist mindset

more predictable due to high anxiety, which is why the creativity and flexibility of his responses is lower than that of an optimalist.

Associations to the word “perfectionist”

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An online thesaurus with the ability to search for associations, synonyms, contextual connections and example sentences for words and expressions in the Russian language.

Reference information on the declension of nouns and adjectives, verb conjugation, as well as the morphemic structure of words.

The site is equipped with a powerful search system with support for Russian morphology.

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Who are they - perfectionists?

A perfectionist is a person who tries with all his might to become perfect in everything and places high demands on the people around him.

Usually a perfectionist is a lonely person with very low self-esteem. After all, due to the many demands on family and friends, the inability to show his true feelings and emotions, he cannot find friends or a loved one, and his family cannot find a common language with him.

It seems to him that he will be criticized for the slightest offense or mistake in actions, and a perfectionist is afraid of criticism more than anything else. In his work he is also picky to the smallest detail.

As a boss, a perfectionist is simply impossible; he demands perfect performance in everything. An ordinary employee with the trait of perfectionism will be an excellent worker who performs his tasks “excellently”, and thanks to this he will achieve success in his business.

Synonyms for the word “perfectionism” (as well as words and expressions similar in meaning)

Related words and expressions

Making the Word Map better together

I will definitely learn to distinguish widely used words from highly specialized ones.

How clear is the meaning of the word canvas
(noun):

Related words (by topic)

People: perfectionist, neurotic, workaholic, psychotherapist, masochist
Items: dopamine
Actions: avoidance, introspection, indulgence, self-expression, self-exploration
Abstract concepts: perfectionism, negativism, egocentrism, narcissism, self-esteem

Associations to the word “perfectionism”

Sentences containing "perfectionism"

For the last 2 years I have been working on a book, suffering from perfectionism
and wanting to describe everything at once.

The meaning of the word "perfectionism"

Perfectionism (philosophy) (Wikipedia)

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The meaning of the word "perfectionism"

Sentences containing "perfectionism"

I've been working on a book for the last 2 years, suffering from perfectionism.

and wanting to describe everything at once.

In addition, among other things, I consider such important questions as what is confidence - and also courage - and why perfectionism

can be a major obstacle to achieving confidence.

Always set a deadline for completing a task - this will help you avoid the trap of perfectionism

, i.e. the desire to endlessly improve the results of one’s work.

Associations to the word “perfectionism”

Map of words and expressions of the Russian language

An online thesaurus with the ability to search for associations, synonyms, contextual connections and example sentences for words and expressions in the Russian language.

Reference information on the declension of nouns and adjectives, verb conjugation, as well as the morphemic structure of words.

The site is equipped with a powerful search system with support for Russian morphology.

How perfectionism manifests itself in character

As they say, everything should be in moderation, including such character traits as perfectionism. If a person strives to be neat, maintain a clean home, adheres to moral concepts, copes well with tasks at work and at the same time enjoys it, lives a calm, measured life, communicates with friends - this is normal perfectionism.

If a person does not know how to accept his mistakes, never admits that he is wrong, does not sleep all night only because he forgot to call the client back on an order, becomes furious because of an outside comment, constantly compares himself with others, then he should turn to psychologist, this is excessive perfectionism.

In this state, the body is exhausted not only emotionally, but also physically: due to constant worries, headaches, insomnia, panic, nervous breakdowns, stress, depression appear, and you can even get sick.

According to experts, most successful people are perfectionists. Therefore, from the point of view of social success, this character trait cannot be called 100% negative.

Why does a person become a perfectionist?

Reasons for the development of perfectionism:

The origins of perfectionism are often found in childhood , when, striving for attention and respect from adults, the child always “works” for praise, he fulfills the requirements with an “A”, therefore, he is loved - that’s the only way.
The realization that a person is only valuable because he does right by others, looks great, etc. Some teenagers who are perfectionists, who have experienced a breakup only because their partner lacked an ideal face or a not-too-proportionate figure, subsequently reflexively “reach out” to the ideal people, in their opinion, in order to feel complete.
Perfectionism, as a type of neurosis , is initially based on healthy idealism, but the incessant fear of potential failure entails depressive states, absolute dissatisfaction with oneself. In order to avoid nervous breakdowns, you need to be the best in a certain field of activity, and not spread yourself thin on everything at once.

What makes men perfectionists?

Men who exhibit perfectionism in their character are characterized by a sharp change in mood - now they are arrogant and self-confident, and tomorrow they will be a slurred person whining about their failures in life.

Perfectionist men are characterized by self-criticism, lack of patience for their own and others’ misdeeds, fear of failure and complete uncompromisingness.

You need to have limitless patience and love in order to adapt to life with such a person, to be able to remain silent in time or to provide moral support and praise, or better yet, to help get rid of perfectionism.

What makes women perfectionists?

Representatives of the fair sex, who have perfectionism in their character, try to be on time everywhere and in everything: at home - an ideal wife, mother and housewife, at work - a top-class business woman.

Naturally, it is simply impossible to do so much. Torn between everything, you can be left with nothing: along the way, a woman will set high demands on her husband and children.

As a result, the children will go out of control in protest, and the husband will find a more accommodating mistress. To avoid this, she needs to get rid of her perfectionist habits.

How to deal with excess perfectionism?

If you are a real perfectionist and have recently been wondering how to get rid of excessive perfectionism, here are some recommendations:

To begin with, learn to take criticism calmly, accept the mistakes of yourself and those around you. Everyone makes mistakes in life, and there is nothing unnatural about it.
Don't criticize yourself. Learn to love yourself. Then others will love you too.
Doing a job perfectly is good. But before you decide to do something, evaluate your capabilities. If you understand that you can’t do it, it’s better not to take it on. And if you do, then limit yourself to time, and after the deadline does not try to correct or finish it, because in this case excessive perfectionism manifests itself.

If you don’t know how to get rid of perfectionism on your own, consult a psychologist. This does not mean that there is something wrong with you, it’s just that people in this profession are well versed in human psychology and will tell you where to start to overcome perfectionism.

How to help a perfectionist?

If your loved one is a perfectionist, surround him with love and affection. This is exactly what he lacks - support, self-confidence. Praise him for his achievements, but don't overdo it.

Try to clearly explain that he is perceived as he is, with all his shortcomings and advantages. After all, a person is like a coin: one face consists of pluses, the other – of minuses. And this is quite natural.

Do not forget that individuals who exhibit perfectionism in behavior are very vulnerable and fragile; try to help as delicately as possible.

Instead of an afterword

To finally answer your question: are perfectionists hostages of their own and others’ ambitions, or people to be emulated, we can recall the examples of great inventors.
D. Mendeleev is known as the inventor of the periodic table. He spent many years on it, but worked meticulously to please his mother. She alone tried to get Dmitry, the 17th child in the family, accepted into a prestigious university. His whole life became proof of his mother’s love and gratitude.

Another idealist was the physicist L. Landau, who came to the conclusion that marriage would not be called a good word. He won the Nobel Prize, but due to his busy schedule, he forgot about his wife on his wedding night. With the words: “Oh, I’m unhappy!” I never left the regular laboratory tests.

Being a perfectionist is sometimes good - the next generations will appreciate your work. But will his descendants be among them? And is it easy to go through life next to a person suffering from a manic idea of making everyone perfect? And isn't this dangerous? How do you think? Share your opinion with us!

Dagirova Lidiya · 24 Sep, 2019