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What is the use of inadequate people? Yes, for the most part none at all. And accordingly, the corresponding attitude towards inadequate people is frivolous. They are afraid to cooperate with them and do not want to have long-term relationships. But this is so only at first glance. Sometimes inadequacy can be very useful. Let's figure out in what cases it is useful to be inadequate.
Adequacy
Adequate behavior is behavior that is understandable to others and does not go against generally accepted norms, corresponds to the situation and the expectations of others. Every society has generally accepted moral standards. So, an adequate person will behave in accordance with these norms and perform actions expected by others. For example, if he entered a trolleybus and sat down on the seat, this is adequate behavior, but if he lies down on the floor in the trolleybus, this is inadequacy. Please note that all these norms are external, created by public opinion. That is, a person lives adequately according to external guidelines and is not always guided by his feelings and desires. Simply put, he knows how to control himself. For example, you liked your neighbor’s handbag, you’ve wanted one for a long time, but you’re not going to take it away. In fact, adequacy is a rather relative concept, because moral standards may differ in different religions or countries, for example, if in the East it is customary to drink tea while sitting on the floor, then somewhere in Europe, say, in London, this will be less at least strange. And if a person behaves correctly, in your opinion, this does not mean at all that other people will also consider it normal. In general, all people are inadequate to one degree or another, and they certainly commit such actions from time to time.
Partner requirements
In the questionnaire, a person writes not about himself, but about his desired partner. What height, weight, and hobbies should he have? Yes, sometimes they list it exactly like that. But often the demands are disguised as more harmless formulations: “My height is 192, take this into account,” “We will go to the gym together,” “If you haven’t watched “Rick and Morty,” you will.”
We are all looking for the perfect person. One who will meet our requirements. This is absolutely normal. But, as popular wisdom says, if you demand, comply. If a person begins to directly declare what he expects from a partner, and does not say what he can give himself, alarm bells ring.
Most likely, your wishes will be ignored, and emotional pressure may subsequently begin. You will be required to fully comply with the stated ideal. A step to the left, a step to the right - hello, criticism and humiliation. And this is abuse. How to Recognize the Signs of Mental and Emotional Abuse.
Inadequacy
In psychology, a person who reacts to any event in a non-standard way, contrary to generally accepted moral norms, is called inadequate. The reaction, emotions and behavior of such a person do not correspond to the situation. For example, some positive event causes negative emotions in a person. It may become inadequate temporarily, for example, in a state of alcohol or drug intoxication, or in some critical situation. Or it may be his constant state of consciousness, in which case it is already a disease, for example schizophrenia.
What to do if a person is locked in an apartment
Try to carefully ask friends or neighbors about the last time they saw him and what condition he was in; what he talked about and whether he talked at all; what he looked like and how he behaved. Write a statement about the incident to the local police officer in whose territory the supposedly sick person lives. If you really want to, then carefully try to determine by indirect signs whether the one you are looking for is at home. If you have adequate contact with him, try to offer your help over the phone. However, avoid being intrusive or looming near the door to his apartment - in the case of delusional psychosis, they may consider you an enemy, and suddenly use some kind of weapon against you. It is better, if there is no answer, to entrust such actions to the police. The powers of the latter include the obligation to call a psychiatrist to persons suffering from mental disorders.
Delinquent state
This is when actions are committed that can cause any harm to both society and the individual. Here we should especially highlight adolescent delinquency. Examples of inappropriate behavior of this type include minor offenses, drinking alcohol and using swear words in public places, petty hooliganism and even violating traffic rules. By the way, being absent from work for an unexcused reason or coming to work while drunk are also examples of delinquent behavior.
Error state
Directed away from the desired target. For example, when a person in childhood found a way to solve some life problem that was successful for a child, and it turned out to be effective, was repeated many times, was consolidated through repetition, and is now repeated by an adult, although it has long been a reaction. An inadequate reaction is when a child was constantly scolded as a child, and he got used to constantly making excuses, grew up and realized that he no longer needed to make excuses, but he still continues to do it. Behind such maneuverability of a psychologically healthy person there are often the following reasons: physical problems, accident, bad manners, incompetence, psychological problems and provocations of the environment.
How to understand that self-esteem is unhealthy
A psychologist will help you understand more or less how things are going. You can also take a special questionnaire to determine your level of self-esteem, for example Rosenberg's Self-Esteem Scale questionnaire.
How low self-esteem manifests itself
Here are a few of its main signs Signs of Low Self-Esteem.
- You constantly scold yourself, talk about yourself in a negative and derogatory way.
- You avoid relationships, new acquaintances and communication, because you are sure that no one will like you anyway and nothing good will come of it.
- You are convinced that other people treat you poorly. It gets to the point of absurdity: if strangers laugh nearby, it seems to you that they are laughing at you, and not at some joke of their own.
- Every problem you have seems like a disaster: you are sure that you cannot cope with it.
- You are jealous of your loved ones: friends, partners, children - and try to tie them to you more tightly, including through manipulation and psychological violence. Because deep down they are sure that otherwise they will leave you.
- You do not trust your decisions, you believe that you are wrong, even if the facts indicate otherwise, you are afraid to express your opinion among other people.
- You devalue yourself, belittle your merits, consider them insignificant: “Just think, I got a higher education, everyone can do that” or “Just think, you got promoted at work, it’s probably for lack of fish, because there are simply no other candidates.”
Types of inadequacy
By type, inadequacy can be divided into absolute, formal and relative. Formal is when a person does not comply with generally accepted norms of behavior and breaks the rules. This includes the same swearing in public places. Relative inadequacy lies in the characteristics of a certain individual and may even be invisible to society. The absolute is divided into conscious and unconscious. Inadequacy of the conscious type is when a person is in complete control of his actions, clearly knows what he is doing, and expects an appropriate reaction from the people around him. That is, such a person behaves inappropriately quite consciously. This is always a challenge to public opinion and moral standards accepted in society. Politicians and tyrant bosses can behave this way. For example, singers or actors commit such acts in order to shock the public, cause public outcry and general discussion. The unconscious type of inadequacy is considered the most dangerous and is somewhere on the verge of serious personality disorders. Such an individual is not aware of his actions, his principles are almost always inadequate, although he believes that everything is normal for him
Reasons for inappropriate behavior
In fact, the reasons for the manifestation of such a condition can be very different. A person may simply not understand what is expected of him; he may have some psychological problems that contribute to the manifestation of inappropriate behavior. Very often, inadequate people commit some actions that go against public opinion, simply because they rely not on the reaction of others, but on their personal opinion, and are guided not by the external, but by their inner world. In various critical situations, even the most balanced people commit rash acts. Sometimes the reasons for this are hidden in deep childhood. For example, children raised in families of drug addicts and alcoholics very often differ in such standards of principles.
Narcissism and selfishness
Both of these qualities will manifest themselves simultaneously. A man will admire himself and demand attention from his chosen one. At the same time, she will give a sufficient amount of this attention.
But in any case, the man will accuse her of indifference and will be offended. He will not give his love to a lady or show his feelings. This will reveal his selfishness.
If a woman notices one of the mentioned qualities in her chosen one, then she should think about breaking off the relationship. Such interaction will have a negative impact not only on mental health, but also on future life in general.
Photo: Pixabay
Dangers of inadequate condition
Is an inadequate person dangerous in society? It depends on how much it goes beyond moral standards and what actions express his condition. In any case, communicating with such an individual is a rather unpleasant experience. But if this is expressed by aggression, or the person is under the influence of alcohol or drugs, then this can be very dangerous. It is better to avoid such a person. If this is not possible, try to act as calmly as possible and try not to enter into conflict. Remember, an inadequate person is not aware of his actions! And, as in a state of passion, he can do anything.
How to react to inappropriate male behavior without quarrels and hysterics?
Male hysteria - what is it really? Emotional outbursts in men - weakness or strength of character? How to live with such a man and how to deal with his mood swings?
Traditionally, the tendency to hysterics and inappropriate behavior is attributed to the weaker sex. And the strong seem to be incapable of screaming and making trouble. Here he is - such a sensual, sincere, refined connoisseur of beauty, always ready to support and warm with his friendly smile. And is he really capable of flaring up out of the blue, turning into a hysterical brawler who knows exactly how to hit the weak spot harder and how to insult and humiliate more painfully?
Causes of emotional storms
The motives for such behavior can often come from childhood. When boys are taught from an early age that he shouldn’t cry, he’s a boy, not a snotty girl. And he grows up, mistakenly believing that the emotions he shows will indicate his weakness.
All events in a boy's life are accompanied by his emotional experiences. But he locks his feelings inside himself, trying not to let them out. This is also facilitated by scary books, where Baba Yaga roasts children in the oven, and the gorynych snake is brought as tribute to the most beautiful girls. Later, violent cartoons and bloody video games joined this influence.
Fear makes a person shrink, emotional energy is drawn in, saving him from a dangerous situation. As a result, instead of enjoying love for a person, feelings of empathy and compassion, the little person experiences a very strong emotion of fear. His goal is to obtain vivid emotions for himself, and not the desire to give them to others.
If a person does not have the skills to create emotional connections with people around him through the transmission of his emotions, his innate emotionality becomes fixated on the endless experiences around himself. And all the unrealized energy results in anxiety over the slightest reason, beating yourself up over any trifles.
A person artificially invents situations, arranging nervous scenes for those around him with tears and hysterics. By making a serious problem out of nothing, sorting things out over the most insignificant reasons, shouting and rowing, he provides himself with a good opportunity to experience strong emotional swings.
Explosion for no reason
Anything can cause a man to become hysterical: he does not agree with your opinion, does not want to accept the current circumstances, is dissatisfied with your or his bad mood. The violent hysteria experienced by a man excludes any control over emotions, so appealing to his common sense or conscience at this time makes no sense.
An emotional barrage hits with such force, as if this insignificant reason that caused a quarrel is the most important problem or terrible nuisance in his life. The explosion occurs instantly; any word, gesture or look can provoke it.
The ideal reason for another scandal is mistrust. Suspicion of treason can be aroused by an innocent telephone conversation with a colleague. Moreover, a man, having lost control of himself from jealousy, can turn to violence.
Don't be fooled by provocation
Options for resolving a crisis situation helps to find a clear understanding of the psychological aspects that cause hysteria. The absence of replenishment of the emotional level in the form of a response will help to end the scandal. The complaints cannot be completely ignored. But simple cold answers to provocative questions will be the right solution. You don’t ignore him, but you don’t provide the desired emotions either.
If you resist provocations and are not going to share your emotions, no matter negative or positive, then the energy of the attacks begins to extinguish by itself. It turns out that hysteria does not bring satisfaction and the desired results, and therefore loses its meaning.
Prevent aggravation
Often the purpose of a tantrum is to get your attention and gain your emotions. He wants to be reassured, pitied and his will carried out. If you feel tension when communicating with him that threatens to turn into violence, do not show it. Let him bang his fist on the table, throw plates or shout insults - leave the room silently, not paying attention to the screams and threats. You can try reading a book in the next room, go outside and get some air, or go to the gym. May the storm pass and you will be at peace.
When a man questions you about your absence, offer a heart-to-heart conversation. It is important to tell him about your desire to discuss any issues in an exclusively normal environment. As is usually reported in the news: “the negotiations took place in a calm, friendly atmosphere.”
Emphasize that you are life partners, family members and soul mates with one common goal - to work on your relationship and make it better. Improve relationships - but in peaceful ways, without quarrels and scandals. Remembering that relationships are a conscious desire to see each other nearby and fill life with joy.
