Until a few decades ago, girls were taught that their main virtues were modesty and shyness. In the 21st century, these qualities are valued much less. Bright, self-confident women are more likely to achieve success both in their personal lives and in their profession.
How to develop these qualities in yourself that give advantages in society and not become an impudent woman from whom those around you run away? Where is the fine line between a strong personality and a boorish person?
Insolence is a personality trait that allows you to actively and openly speak about your interests and defend your opinion. A daring woman will not hide her eyes and clutch a handkerchief with traces of tears in her hands.
A person with audacity is open and spontaneous, he always directly responds to the requests of other people, and is active in choosing his actions.
Arrogance is expressed in disregard for the feelings of other people. An arrogant person is self-centered, he lacks empathy, and all thoughts and actions are aimed only at satisfying his ego.
Is there a difference between not hurting someone else and not hurting yourself? Of course have. This is the essence of the difference between insolence, based on self-confidence, and insolence, based on the principles of disrespect for other people and disregard for social and moral norms.
An impudent girl will skip the line in any public place. While the daring one will not allow herself to be outdone. An insolent character will not tolerate insults addressed to him; an insolent person will be the first to insult.
The insolent person is indifferent to how others treat him; the pangs of conscience are unknown to him. Up to a certain time, such behavior may bear fruit, but in the end the woman will understand that she is left alone. A worthy person will not be able to put up with rudeness and disdainful attitude for long.
The main quality that will allow you to become successful and happy is self-confidence. It is this personality trait that needs to be developed and strengthened.
Self confidence
If we were talking about a man, then this quality would not be placed in first place among the signs of self-confidence. For a bold and confident woman, understanding external attractiveness is the main feature.
Existing stereotypes impose many characteristics, the possession of which places a girl in the category of beautiful. Any discrepancy with the standard (excess weight, for example) can lower a woman’s self-esteem.
A self-sufficient girl loves herself and considers herself irresistible, regardless of her natural characteristics: with a full figure, short legs, narrow lips. And he loves as a whole, and not in parts. And he will not allow anyone to criticize his external data.
A confident lady can go out without hair and makeup, without hiding her natural face from people. Men do not miss such women and a priori consider them the first beauties.
Strength of Personality
A woman has high self-esteem and an established system of values and principles. Such a person does not try to serve, does not feel reverence for anyone. There is faith in your resources, knowledge and experience.
Ability to negotiate and listen to others
A confident girl calmly perceives any information and analyzes it. If it turns out that the opponent’s point of view is correct, the woman will accept it with gratitude for the experience presented. She will not earn points for herself by belittling another.
Self-sufficiency and responsibility for your life
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Confidence leads to the fact that a woman fully takes responsibility for everything that happens to her. She does not blame her mother, friends or husband for failures and problems. The girl understands that she ended up at this point and in this position thanks to those actions and actions that she herself committed.
The ability to admit a mistake and choose a different direction
You cannot live without falls and failures. A self-sufficient woman knows this. She will analyze her thoughts and actions, find a mistake and correct it. At the same time, such a girl will not engage in self-criticism, realizing that no one is immune from mistakes and the wrong path.
Ability to make quick decisions
A confident girl knows her strengths and weaknesses and the resources available. Therefore, she makes decisions quickly enough, without unnecessary doubts and lengthy hesitations.
Healthy psyche
A rare person is free from fears and complexes that are formed in early childhood and require some work to get rid of them. A self-confident person understands the psychological characteristics of his personality, knows how to accept them, and does not dwell on unpleasant moments.
What else do you need to know?
Sooner or later, a person who has achieved success in his goal will come to the realization: “I have become very angry (angry).” The desired has been achieved. Now the most important thing is not to overdo it with toughness of character. It is important that regular refusals, arguments and bickering do not become a habit. When a person is approached by someone who is not a stranger to him (parents, friends, significant other, someone who has ever helped, etc.), you need to forget about the rigidity of character. Otherwise, by communicating with them in a manner that has already become familiar, you can inadvertently offend them. And this does not have the best effect on relationships. Because there must be moderation in everything: both in kindness and in harshness. And the ability to find balance is one of the best traits of a person.
Openly expressing your opinions and needs
A complex, shy girl with low self-esteem is often afraid to openly say what she thinks or refuse a person. A confident woman expresses her needs and openly says what she considers necessary and defends her point of view.
What to do with the appearance?
First of all, you need to understand that each of us is created by nature, the universe, and any standard is just a model of beauty imposed in a particular society. What was considered charming 100 years ago is today regarded as disgusting.
High self-esteem implies acceptance of yourself in any form. Of course, a woman can see her weaknesses, but does not diminish her self-worth because of them.
An objective analysis will help you understand what needs to be corrected at the moment and take the necessary measures to address it. But even before achieving results, you should love and pamper yourself.
For example, a girl wants to lose extra pounds in the abdominal area and decides to limit herself to fast carbohydrates. But she will not consider herself ugly before she gets the result and suffer from weighing herself every day.
How to show your anger correctly?
Having learned to arouse anger in yourself, you will have to learn to control .
It is better if the anger is directed at the situation and not at the person.
Try not to use physical violence - this is a criminal offense, and the consequences for you may be unpredictable in the form of injuries.
Anger is the level of intensity of emotions; they need to be thrown out in order for there to be a release.
Learn rhetoric skills. Don't stoop to insults or personalities. You must let the person know that you are angry, but at the same time you maintain self-control and the situation is in your hands.
Controlled anger allows you to take a leadership position, but at the same time it still needs to be maintained. This is effective when other methods no longer work, and you need to be the first and manage, for example, a group of people.
Anger gives you self-confidence, but you need to know how to use it .
The best option is when you outwardly show emotion, but at the same time you know when to stop and are in complete control of your state.
That is, people think that you are angry and obey you out of fear of punishment , while you remain cool and reasonable. This is one of the successful ways to manipulate other members of society.
Personal care, clothing
Lack of humiliation does not mean that you can neglect the rules of hygiene and basic care procedures. Appearance always matters. “They greet you by their clothes,” remember?
Agree, when there is dirt under your nails and your hair falls like tow on your face, it’s hard to be confident. And people will not perceive such a woman as a strong person. We won’t buy blue chicken in the store with yellow subcutaneous fat.
Clothes for a confident woman are those in which she feels comfortable and appropriate. A girl may love ripped jeans and oversized sweaters, but she understands that for an interview at a large, reputable company, she would be better off wearing pumps and a formal business suit.
Daring girls, as a rule, attract attention with bright accessories, catchy makeup, and a costume with elements of provocation.
How to direct it in the right direction?
Do you feel angry too often? Do its manifestations interfere with your life and cause conflicts? Negative emotions must be redirected .
The best way to discharge energy is physical activity. Do a few push-ups, hit a punching bag, dance.
You can get rid of negativity by telling your opponent what you think about the situation . If you think you are right, do not hold back your emotions too much, but try to keep them under control.
Do you often have to express your anger? How does this make you feel? Your blood pressure is probably rising, you feel excited, want to speak out or express your anger physically.
After an outburst of anger, you feel tired, and sometimes the irritation persists for a long time. Negative emotions affect your overall well-being. If manifestations of anger occur regularly, there is no room for positive emotions. That is why anger must be redirected to other objects.
- Think about what prevents you from openly expressing your anger. Perhaps you have some complexes or restrictions, you are afraid that people will see your emotions;
- don't try to hide your anger. By driving it deep into yourself, you destroy your own body;
- clarify the relationship to the end. Don't leave the problem unresolved, otherwise the situation will happen again;
- think about what will happen if you remain silent and do not react to the situation. How this will affect your relationships with people and your sense of self. Sometimes it is useful to express your own opinion, but try to do it in a calm manner;
- forget about the feeling of guilt. You have the right not to hide your feelings and express them openly, the main thing is to do so that it does not greatly harm the people around you;
- don't try to control other people, take care of your own condition.
If you often feel angry, it means that your psyche is not harmonious enough. Work on building your character and showing your emotions.
Controlled anger is more beneficial. You can show your anger to other people while remaining completely calm inside .
Posture, ability to hold oneself
A confident woman walks calmly, with a straight back, without waving her arms like a soldier on the parade ground. Her whole figure expresses dignity and readiness to stand up for herself.
Slouching is always perceived as humiliation, a desire to hide from others, or as an oppression of worries and problems. Straight shoulders, beautiful posture, and a proudly raised head reveal a confident and daring woman.
Shyness is emphasized by clasped hands, a downcast gaze, as well as the habit of scratching the nose, ears or fiddling with hair. Try to look your interlocutor in the eyes and keep your palms in front of you.
A confident girl always reflects inner harmony and calm. The best expression of these qualities is a friendly smile. Daring girls do not walk around with a frown and an expression of universal sorrow on their faces.
Benefit or harm?
Insolence: is it good or bad? Depends on the meaning you attach to this concept. One associates insolence with rudeness, another with courage. Both are right and wrong at the same time. Insolence is a character trait of an impulsive person, an impulse of spontaneity, an active response to the actions of others. While the intimidated Vasya is looking for the correct words to respond to the rudeness, the impudent Misha has already said a barb, forgetting about the rules of decency.
Insolence is characteristic of certain types of people. A tendency to impulsive actions is clearly observed in choleric or sanguine people. Among melancholic people it is difficult to find a daring person. This behavior contradicts the internal organization of this temperament.
pros
Achievements of goals.
Daring people go ahead to achieve their goals. For them there are no barriers, there is only one desire, which leads to victory ahead.
Simplicity.
Insolence is good because it is quick and unintentional. Actions are spontaneous and do not require much thought. There is no need to worry about consequences, other people's feelings, public opinion. A daring person goes with the flow of his desires and overcomes any thresholds without thinking.
Dynamism.
Instead of marking time and wavering in doubt, daring people choose movement. They achieve their goals faster than the slow-moving “holy men”: career growth, position in society, a lover of their liking. The action gives quick results.
Minuses
Public opinion.
Insolence is condemned by most decent people. Such behavior contradicts moral and ethical standards and ideas about a well-mannered person.
Aggression.
Bold behavior generates a response. You can respond to rudeness with rudeness, but you will receive even more negativity in return. Not all people will tolerate brash behavior. There will be many contenders to put the presumptuous person in his place.
Unstable connections.
Insolence destroys relationships. This model of behavior does not imply deeply romantic feelings, gentleness, or understanding. But in a harmonious relationship, the interests of both partners are equal. If someone finds themselves in a worse situation, then soon the attraction disappears, no matter how strong the feelings. If this is not a couple of a moral sadist and a masochist.
Ability to assert personal boundaries
You should not allow any kind of aggression or disrespect to be shown towards you. You should immediately stop attempts to cross the boundaries beyond which there is personal space.
There is no need to be rude in response to rudeness; you should calmly explain that you will not tolerate such an attitude towards yourself and why.
A self-confident person knows how to refuse, to say “no” if a request contradicts his interests or basic life principles. There is no need to be afraid of seeming like a “bad” girl, only you can decide what actions you are ready to take.
Motivation
For a good person to become evil, he needs compelling reasons. Of course, many people have sudden outbursts. So a person thinks: “That’s it, I’m tired, I won’t help anyone anymore and forgive nothing!” But then she somehow forgets about it and continues to be “Mother Teresa.”
Need motivation. How to become evil? Just remember the reasons that cause this “need”. You can even write them out: “Colleagues constantly leave all the “dirty” work to me. When they are having fun, I stay in the office late. I don’t get enough sleep, I can’t take care of my personal life. It's time to stop this. I still love myself." The principle is the same, even if it’s not about work. Here is an example regarding family: “I am 30 years old, but I still do what my mother wants. I can't resist her, she constantly tells me what I need to do. The situation needs to change - I don’t feel like a man and I can’t present myself as such in society.”
In general, in other words, a person must make a firm decision to change something. Plus, his confidence will be noticed by those around him who want to sit on his neck.
Still waters run deep
Most often, people become evil not of their own free will, but due to some circumstances. For example, a man became angry after he lost his favorite job or went broke in business. His aggression and hostility can be directed both to individuals whom he considers to blame for his failures, and to the whole world, if the reasons for what happened cannot be blamed on someone specific. This can happen even to someone who was previously considered an optimist and a cheerful person.
Or another example: a sweet, quiet and modest girl became angry after her loved one abandoned her and went to her childhood friend. The transformation of a gray mouse into a real bitch happens quite often, because unhappy love or a broken heart is accompanied by very strong emotional experiences, which awaken previously dormant feelings in our minds.
Unfulfilled ambitions or the collapse of a dream can change the psychological state of absolutely any person, even a very kind and friendly one.
Smile
A smile is an invincible weapon. A sincere smile inspires trust, puts people at ease, and gives rise to positive emotions. The attitude towards everyone around you and humanity, in a general sense, is important. Try to look at the world without fear and arrogance. Aggression will generate negativity. Perceive what is happening around you without negative emotions. Strive to remain calm, not to worry or panic at the slightest irritation.
Don't be afraid of obstacles. Tell yourself: “Blessed are the obstacles, we grow with them!” This is the motto of the wisest woman Helena Roerich, it will help you become confident and strong.
Smile more often. Men will go crazy with admiration, women with envy. A smile makes any face irresistibly beautiful.
Anger - good or bad?
So, why a person becomes angry is understandable. The causes and nature of the phenomenon are clear. But is it so bad to be evil? Everything that is created by nature has its own meaning and purpose. Sometimes the manifestation of aggression is vital for the individual to survive or stabilize the psychological state. If you need to cause a storm of emotions, then there are several ways to become angry. First, you can imagine yourself in an extremely unpleasant situation and play it out in your mind until you get the desired result. If your imagination fails and nothing works out, you should try the second method. To do this, you need to surround yourself with irritants: turn on a TV show or music that causes obvious rejection, change the temperature in the room to an uncomfortable level, or wear uncomfortable clothes. Just a little time - and a person is already “angry as a dog.”
The main thing in this matter is a sense of proportion. You can’t restrain your emotions and you definitely need to give them a way out, but if your anger is already overflowing, then you can moderate your ardor a little, for example, take up sports such as boxing or wrestling, shoot darts, shoot at a shooting range, or, at worst, go far out of town into a dense forest and shout to this world everything you think about it.
Don't come near - he'll kill you!
Very often, subordinates are afraid of their leaders and, discussing orders and instructions among themselves, accuse them of being excessively aggressive. What causes this? There are two possible answers. Firstly, power literally drives many people crazy. Instead of striving for something new, developing and learning, they choose the path of self-affirmation by humiliating the dignity of others. Constantly emphasizing their superiority, such individuals feel better and more confident. The root of this behavior most often lies in improper upbringing or stress experienced in childhood or adolescence. But another option is also possible. For example, a young, smart and beautiful employee is suddenly appointed head of a department in which there are a dozen other young ladies who are not very keen on productive work. Or in this office there are only men who do not take the leader in a skirt seriously. Of course, it will not be easy for her to subjugate such a team and force it to work, and she will probably choose the path of becoming evil and making her subordinates afraid of herself.
How to learn to be more confident
Practical advice
1.
You should find a hobby or activity in which you can achieve good results. Think about what you are predisposed to and do it. Perhaps as a child you were good at drawing, sewing or dancing. Get back to this activity! A person who is successful in some area of life (hobby or work) is more confident in himself.
2.
Don't ignore problems that you could have solved long ago if it weren't for your insecurities. Would you like to go to the dentist for a long time, but are you embarrassed, causing the problem to worsen? Do you absolutely need to talk to some unpleasant person, but are you trying in every possible way to delay this moment? There can be many such examples. Until you solve the problem that has arisen, it will remain in your thoughts, and, therefore, in your life. Overcome your fear and the problem will remain in the breach. Many difficulties are solved in minutes, but instead you spend weeks and months worrying.
3.
Don't be afraid to speak your mind. People around you may treat you completely differently than you expect, solely because they are unaware of your sincere expectations. Don't be shy about saying out loud what you want from other people. Pre-formulate a thought in your head, say it to yourself several times, and then confidently and calmly voice it.
4.
Handle shocks with grace. Having experienced the betrayal of a loved one, faced with an illness or some kind of insult, do not give up, but try to analyze the situation. Such shocks are not a reason for depression, but for becoming stronger in the face of life's adversities.
5.
Forget about feeling sorry for yourself. You should love yourself, but you shouldn't feel sorry. This feeling does not help improve self-esteem at all. If any trouble has happened to you, there is no need to lament your difficult fate, crawling even deeper under your “shell”. Sometimes indignation and anger at how absurdly you find yourself in such a situation can be much more useful and productive.
6.
Take care of your appearance. It has long been no secret to anyone that the better a woman looks, the more confident she feels. You've probably noticed more than once that after getting a good hairstyle or buying something new that suits you, you feel different. If such successful innovations in your appearance occur regularly, this will undoubtedly have a positive impact on your self-esteem.
7.
Circle of friends. Note that the wider your social circle, the better for you. Frequent communication with the opposite sex will have a positive impact on your personal life. Regularly in many cities, and perhaps in yours, events are held where you can meet other people - exciting excursions, trainings and master classes.
Definition and essence
To begin with, you can see what dry scientific interpretations say. According to explanatory dictionaries and reference books on psychology, anger is an emotion or feeling of anger, ill will, aggression, frustration or rage, caused by someone or something that prevents a person from getting what he wants. It can be directed either to a particular object or to a group of similar objects, and may also not have a specific addressee. There are two types: with a positive influence on the individual (for example, in sports) and with a negative one (for example, the desire to cause physical harm to someone or commit illegal actions).
First impression
How to become daring and self-confident if they see you for the first time at work? It is better to make makeup moderate, in harmony with clothes and a modest hairstyle. Pay attention to the cleanliness of clothes and hair. A neat manicure, without bright nails, is also important.
A girl dressed in a classic, business style always evokes interest and respect. A sheath dress, a relaxed length, a jacket with a pencil skirt, a tie, a business trouser suit, dark in color with a snow-white shirt - will definitely make a worthy impression on your colleagues.
Your hair should always be shiny and clean. Comb them thoroughly and style them beautifully. Nails should definitely be trimmed and given the shape that is relevant today. Clean, well-groomed hands, with a neat manicure, involuntarily evoke respect.
If you decide to become stylish and daring, make a decisive revision in your wardrobe. Inexpensive, high-quality dresses and suits are sold in stores and even on the Internet. Shoes should also match the image, be clean, with intact heels and heels, without scratches, scuffs or chips. Accuracy, simplicity and positive behavior are the first step towards your goal.
They enjoy the misfortune of others
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Angry people feel good when they see unhappiness. It could be a disaster on the news or a dramatic situation unfolding in front of them. They seem to enjoy misfortune, enjoy other people's bad feelings.
All the suffering of an evil person ends when bad things happen to other people. The real danger here is that they may deliberately create bad situations for you and others so that they can enjoy failure.
It's important to identify them before something bad happens to you and the people you love. Because if terrible things happen, it makes them feel better, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Say "No" to everyone
Take 2 weeks and start refusing everyone.
Fuck everyone with your “NO”.
They ask you for something, refuse! You have only one explanation - I DON'T WANT! That's all. Say no more.
Count the number of your refusals per day and if there were few of them, then you are lying, you are still a good girl.
Moreover, live in such a way that they start offering you something, asking you for something, and you turn your nose up and answer that you don’t want it.
How many “No”s did you get over the past day?
10? So few?
Or 5? What are you even doing? Go to hell, sheep!
Or 0? It's you ZERO! Live with it...
Please me with a significant number, you mean girl...
We are not like that, but life is like that
How to become evil? Yes, it’s very simple: change the environment! It is the people around us who often become the cause of aggression, cruelty and anger. For example, a child from a family with a dysfunctional emotional environment is unlikely to grow up to be a kind person. And this applies not only to antisocial elements, such as alcoholics, drug addicts or gambling addicts. Most likely, a child will grow up angry in a family where they often shout, make trouble, or even fight. In adulthood, everything happens similarly. Finding yourself surrounded by aggressive classmates, colleagues, friends or neighbors, a person willy-nilly adapts to the situation. All this is due to the manifestation of the same instinct inherent in nature: in order to survive, there is nothing left but to become angrier.
What model of behavior should you choose with an evil person so as not to receive psychological trauma?
Not taking the words and actions of an evil person to heart is probably the first and at the same time the most difficult decision. The second is not to return evil for evil without wasting your time and nerves on a discussion with such a person. Try to understand that evil people are not mentally healthy. Having met a person on the street by his external behavior, whom you will immediately notice that he is mentally ill, and he will hardly begin to enter into an inadequate dialogue with you, you will have a desire to enter into a debate with him, you will simply pass by.
Evil people do not always look inadequate , this must be understood, but this does not cancel their moral problems, which you have nothing to do with and therefore should not solve them at the cost of your peace of mind.
Psychologists, when meeting by chance with evil people, do not start communicating with them. They watch detachedly, drawing their own conclusions. It is difficult for an ordinary unprepared person to take such an indifferent position, but this is the most correct style of behavior in the given circumstances. Only by not paying attention to an evil person can you protect yourself from his neurotic behavior and thereby save your nerves.
