10 signs of confident people

In the modern world, self-confidence is of great importance as a special characteristic of a person who wants to be successful. Despite the fact that this element of behavior can be developed, there are relatively few people who are confident in their abilities, knowledge and skills. Perhaps the reason for this is the enormous responsibility that is required of the individual.

Confidence is in everyone

What is self confidence

Confidence is a state of mind that expresses a lack of fear of mistakes, a desire for errorlessness in general. Confidence is freedom from doubt. Self-confidence is an adequate assessment of one’s skills and abilities, an objective self-assessment, in which success in overcoming obstacles and achieving goals becomes more likely.

Note! Overestimating oneself, one's capabilities and knowledge has the definition of self-confidence. Underestimation is lack of self-confidence.

Self-confidence is an individual’s unfounded confidence that he has no shortcomings or negative character traits. Such a person is prone to risk and does not attach importance to real threats, in particular to his health. Self-doubt is the fear of making decisions, of acting in general, due to doubts about one’s own strengths, skills, and knowledge. The basis of such insecurity is that a person does not actually trust himself, so it must be overcome. These qualities are harmful to a person, so it is considered important to achieve a golden mean.

The psychology of gaining self-confidence

I think many people understand that such qualities of a person as shyness, timidity, courage, willpower, doubt, state of happiness, joy or lack thereof... mainly depend on his internal development, emotional sphere, psychological developed or introduced programs and attitudes.

The same is the case with confidence. This state comes 80-90% from internal attitudes in a person and only a little from factors introduced from the outside, or the social environment in which the person lived or lives now.

But practically, all the negative factors that were inherent, or still play a significant role, can be changed for an adult, or replaced with new habits and psychological attitudes, although this will require patience and time.

The law of attraction has long been known. What we have inside – established beliefs, behavioral programs in certain situations, thoughts that have become our essence, in the form of wave vibrations of our biofield, are radiated outward and interact with the energy of the surrounding space in such a way that they will attract those events that correspond to internal beliefs.
The explanation is simple, because in reality everything is much more complicated, but it is quite suitable for motivating action. In much the same way as you can successfully drive a car or work on a computer without completely understanding how their internal components work.

And the one who, for some time (for each of them, his own, say 2-3 months), purposefully forms attitudes of self-confidence, that everything works out for him in business and relationships, that he is successful in some way, etc. , then he will definitely receive unequivocal confirmation of this in reality.

For such a person, the last doubts about his capabilities and the implementation of his plans will gradually disappear, which will strengthen his faith and understanding of such things. And, accordingly, reverse attitudes such as everything is bad and nothing will work out also receive their confirmation in the world and the consolidation of these principles in the subconscious.

This is tested and proven knowledge in practice. It’s not without reason that psychologists, coaches, and all kinds of trainers invite you to take certain psychological courses to develop certain qualities and skills.

Author's experience

Vladimir Ekimov

I develop industrial automation systems. I create websites. I write articles for websites, books, and love to travel. Healthy lifestyle experience for more than 17 years.

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I took a dozen similar courses in my time, read relevant books and am studying something now, persistently engaged in practice where it was necessary to replace one set of attitudes and qualities with others. In the end, sooner or later everything worked out. In the process, many individual nuances of such techniques were revealed. But I can say the following. To replace some deep-seated attitudes (coming, for example, from childhood), say, a negative reaction to certain events, with other more positive ones, you have to try very hard. I often caught myself thinking then (and sometimes even now) that even if you understand how not to react, you still react according to a worked out and fixed script.

One coach once told me that such attitudes cannot be changed. They can only be replaced consciously. The old ones will remain in the depths of your psyche, and the new ones on the surface. In many ways he was right. If there is an urgent need for such things, then it will definitely work out. The main thing is not to stop.

I would like to give a small simple example from life on this issue.

An experiment was carried out among athletes in springboard diving.

The participants were divided into three groups. One group did only physical exercise, i.e. They were taught to jump, showing in practice how to do it.

Another group combined meditative techniques in which they imitated jumping and physical exercises. The third studied only with the help of meditative techniques.

Then they held competitions. The leaders were the athletes from the second group. In the third they lost a little. Then came the athletes from the first group. And there are quite a lot of such examples. It turns out that our subconscious and mind don’t care whether this happens in reality or only in the imagination. They are ready to perceive experience and act effectively in any case.

Accordingly, we ourselves can form or, more correctly, choose our own layer of reality in which we want to live or succeed in something. As in a mirror, what we have inside our essence is what we receive outside. This is a large and interesting topic for separate publications. Now it is clear that the psychological component of self-confidence, like many other qualities, comes first, and this fact must be taken very seriously if we want to get practical results.

Signs of confidence and uncertainty

Self-confidence can be observed by the following signs:

Possessing a high level of responsibility;
Knowing the value of promises, not giving false hopes;
Striving for constant self-development;
Every decision has an argument;
Desire to help others and inspire;
Ability to ask for help;
Discussion about failure as an important lesson, experience, wisdom;
Harmonious physical, mental and spiritual development.

How to increase self-esteem for a child - what affects self-confidence

A confident person, be it a woman or a man, attracts success because she is not afraid of losses. At the same time, he understands the value of risks and will not allow major failures, even if others call it a defeat. The important thing is that such a good quality of character can be developed.

Uncertainty is determined by the following characteristics:

Fear of making a mistake;
Pessimistic expectations for tomorrow;
Suppressed emotions;
Weak social behavior skills, social phobia;
Slowness in decision making;
Dependence on other people's opinions;
Tendency to try to shift responsibility onto others.

Note! If there is someone responsible next to such people, then they live quite comfortably.

Insecure people have difficulty communicating with others

Self-esteem needs to be increased, the level of self-confidence increased, even if the individual assures that he does not need it. If you take responsibility, you don’t need to be confident in your loved one, because you no longer need to rely on others for everything.

Self-confidence, are there any disadvantages?

It seems that the very concept of self-confidence carries the positivity necessary for life. And what could be the downsides, or those aspects that can be called that.

When a person is confident in himself, he is psychologically stable, generally harmonious, can cope with life’s difficulties, and almost always realizes his plans and ideas. And if a person succeeds in everything he plans for a long time, there are many victories and few defeats, then such a situation may well cause the other side of confidence - this is self-confidence.

Especially if a person has not yet matured psychologically, for example, against the background of pride, an unfounded idea of himself as an exceptional person who can do anything may appear. Or some other factor will contribute to the manifestation of this condition.

With growing self-confidence and underestimation of real threats and counteracting factors, such a person can downplay real risks and not pay attention to existing threats and the current lack of opportunities for what is planned.

And at some point, this person will let down not only himself, but also the people who trusted him.

He may not have the courage (for example, due to internal attitudes of his exclusivity) to admit a mistake and stop in time or ask for help.

And if, due to excessive self-confidence, a person’s business fails once, twice, three times, then they may no longer trust him. This situation may well turn into stress or depression. The discrepancy between inflated self-esteem and events in reality will play a role. Or even worse, if a series of these events gives rise to self-doubt, and you will have to make sufficient efforts to get out of it. Of course, a lot depends on the individual qualities of a person. But still, to return back to healthy self-confidence, you will have to try very hard.

So there can be only one piece of advice here. It is worth consciously remaining in the role of confidence that will be comfortable for us and allows us to easily interact in the social sphere. Extreme deviations in any matter are very quickly and sometimes very painfully leveled out by the balancing forces of the world.

What does a confident person look like?

How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence for men and women

Having understood what confidence is, it is worth paying attention to what a person with this quality looks like. Every little thing matters: speech, clothing, posture when speaking.

It is worth noting! A self-confident person, being quite strict and serious at first glance, stands out noticeably from others because he exudes a special energy.

Appearance

The main components of the appearance of an individual striving for self-confidence are posture, facial expressions, and voice. There is an exercise on posture during which you need to stand against a wall for 15 minutes, touching it with 4 points of the body: the back of the head, shoulder blades, buttocks and heels. If there are skirting boards in the room that are unacceptable for the exercise, it should be done at the door. A more modern method allows for the presence of a medical retainer, the wearing of which must be careful - the time spent in it increases gradually, starting from 5 minutes a day.

Teeth are an important element for facial expressions, so proper care is necessary for them, because a pleasant smile creates a friendly atmosphere. Be sure to combat bad breath. The intonation is clear, the voice is moderately loud. It is noteworthy that they can be trained.

Note! It is important to have well-groomed hands, which will symbolize a person’s health, as well as their financial condition.

Clothing will tell the interlocutor about such character traits as neatness, modesty or demonstrativeness, a predisposition to conservatism or radicalism. It’s not without reason that they say that “you meet people by their clothes,” so it’s important to prove yourself, at least at the first meetings.

Way of thinking

It is important to have good knowledge in order to be able to answer any question in a timely manner, what does it mean for people to be self-confident. Reading is a confident person's best friend. Regular familiarization with the “latest news” in the world in the field of technology and science, politics and the public will help predispose the interlocutor to communicate. Considering the direction in which an individual wants to express himself, he needs to collect information about it, analyze it, apply it in such a way as to really understand the essence.

Such people know how to predispose to themselves

Behavior

Self-confidence presupposes restraint and steadfastness. Such a person will not fiddle with a handkerchief, pen, or buttons in his hands; he will not shift from foot to foot, but will stand straight, but not tensely. The individual is both soft and stern in communication: he will listen, but is unlikely to waste time on empty conversations. Such people control themselves, their posture, they know body and gesture language and never neglect them.

Skills of a confident person

Library » Self-confidence » Uncertainty and fear of communication
© Natalya Rom

Fragment of the book by Rom N.V. How to develop healthy indifference, or 12 steps to self-confidence. M.: Peter, 2010

How to become a confident person? Is it possible to learn this? Yes! The good news is that you have already taken the first step towards self-confidence! You admitted to yourself that you are ready to change, and took responsibility for these changes. Take the next step - change and move forward to your confidence!

What is self-confidence? How to distinguish a confident person? What does it take to develop self-confidence? We need to answer these questions before we go any further. The psychological dictionary gives the following definition:

Self-confidence is a person’s readiness to solve quite complex problems when the level of aspirations is not reduced only because of fears of failure.

In my opinion, the definition is very successful and capacious. The main thing in it are two key features.

The first is the readiness to solve complex problems, that is, the state of internal psychological mobilization. To put it simply, the right attitude, way of thinking.

The second is the stability of this quality, despite the possibility of failure. That is, in the words of Winston Churchill, “the ability to go from one failure to another with increasing enthusiasm.”

However, the definition does not reflect what constitutes confidence. Namely, confident behavior, a set of certain behavioral skills. Confident behavior expresses a person’s attitude towards himself and towards the people around him.

We will understand by self-confidence both a person’s internal attitude and his behavior. Taking into account these two components of confidence, we will work in two directions.

First, we change our way of thinking, life philosophy and self-esteem.

Secondly, we change our behavior, develop a number of specific skills that express self-confidence.

Now I will list the basic skills of confident behavior. Write them down with the diamond cutter of consciousness on the golden tablets of your memory - or at least with a pen in a notebook!

Using the pronoun “I” and not trying to hide behind vague language.
Direct and honest expression of one's own opinion without regard to others. For example: “I think this is a bad idea”, “I think this is illegal.”
The ability to refuse and say “no” when necessary. For example: “No. This doesn’t suit me,” “I don’t want to do this.”
Openness in expressing feelings and demands. For example: “I’m angry”, “I want you to speak more quietly.”
The ability to establish contacts, initiate, start and end a conversation, etc. For example: “Hello, let’s get to know each other, my name is...”

As you gain self-confidence, you also gain certain external characteristics.

Even your facial expressions and gestures change!
You look your interlocutor in the eyes with confidence.
You acquire a regal posture.
Your voice becomes brighter.
Your words become more powerful.

Which of the above qualities do you think are most significant to you? And what qualities do you feel most acutely deficient in?

Goals

Take a piece of paper, a pen and write down what changes you want to achieve, what do you need to gain self-confidence? Please do not read further until you answer this simple question. The question is far from idle. To move forward, you need to understand the process.

Now you know what self-confidence means to you. Save this sheet: these are your goals for now. Put it out of sight for a month, and then take it out and check what happened to your confidence and your goals? I wish you pleasant discoveries!

Psychological science states: “Confidence is less a function of behavioral deficits than a lack of sense of self-worth.” This means that the main thing is your thoughts and attitude towards yourself. Self-esteem is the key to self-confidence! This is much more important than the lack of any practical behavioral skills.

Observe how you talk to yourself.

What words do you say to yourself when doing important things or preparing to do them?

How does this make you feel?

How do you evaluate yourself and other people?

How do you perceive and overcome difficulties?

By answering these questions, you can realize how successfully you manage your thoughts and feelings.

Changing your behavior will only be effective if it changes your internal dialogue and attitude towards yourself. The difference between the attitudes “I am not capable of anything” and “I will do it” is like between ice and fire!

Changing internal attitudes that prevent you from moving forward and acting successfully is a decisive step towards confidence.

Attitudes and thoughts such as: “I won’t succeed,” “I’m not worthy of respect,” “I’m stupid” are extremely harmful and simply unacceptable. You can't allow yourself to think like that! With such thoughts it is difficult to become a confident person.

Your thoughts should help you act. They should become your friends! Therefore, speak to yourself often, mentally or even out loud, encouraging words.

I will succeed!

I am capable (capable) of doing this.

I can and will succeed!

I will do it!

I'll tell you another little secret. Confidence is not necessarily the success of your actions. Confidence is simply about confidently participating in a situation!

I offer two simple exercises to become aware of how our thoughts work. Make them now - they won't take long.

The Inner Accuser

Write down three to five negative thoughts that you use most often. These are thoughts that take away your power. Thoughts expressing your doubts. Maybe these are negative assessments of other people. Maybe self-recrimination.

Here are some examples: “I won’t succeed,” “I’m an uninteresting conversationalist,” “All men are bastards.” Recorded? Now ask yourself a few questions.

Do these thoughts help me in life and how exactly?

Do any of these thoughts help you do anything good?

What does this kind of thinking lead to?

In what situations do I apply these thoughts?

What good do these thoughts benefit me?

The questions are very similar, but have different shades. If you find it difficult to answer these questions now, think about them tomorrow. Look at them with clear eyes. I assure you, tomorrow these statements will seem foreign to you!

Each person has his own set of “favorite” limiting settings. Many of us find it easy to criticize and blame ourselves for the slightest “offence.” One thing I can say for sure: such thoughts are the road to nowhere.

Negative thoughts discourage any desire to act. You get used to noticing only the bad, the good gradually fades. You get tired, nervous, angry and depressed. You are creating problems for yourself...

Stop! Forget that you ever thought so! All this did not happen to you! Now is the time to replace the inner accuser with the inner defender. Become your own best friend! Give yourself good, forward-looking thoughts. Go for your confidence. Set yourself up for success!

Inside defender

Take paper and pen. For a minute, without thinking, write down all your positive qualities, skills and abilities. Those qualities that you yourself or the people around you value and consider positive. Start every phrase with the pronoun “I”! You can use the expressions “I can”, “I can”, “I believe”, etc.

I am a kind, sympathetic person.

I know how to always be in shape.

I bake delicious pancakes...

Anything you want, in any order. Cast aside false modesty, do not hold back your flight of thought. If a minute is not enough, take another one. This is welcome!

Now choose from these qualities, skills and abilities the one that you like the most. Have you chosen? Take ten minutes and write a short essay about this quality or skill.

Don't be modest, describe yourself with love, tenderness, respect, care and warmth! Start your essay with the words “I’m proud that...” Don’t think long about the words and expressions. Ten minutes will fly by quickly! The main thing is to write from the heart.

Finally, read your essay out loud. Read cheerfully, loudly and with expression! Realize: it's all you!!!

Be sure to re-read this essay the next day. You can start with an uplifting read every morning. This simple remedy is more powerful than any doping!

Do you feel respected? Do you want to change and learn, grow and improve? Do you want to achieve your goal? If yes, congratulations - you have successfully completed the exercise!

This exercise can be done with any positive quality on your list. Don't forget to regularly add to your list of positive qualities and skills. After all, your goal is to learn to treat yourself as best as possible!

The most important principle of independent work: only active training leads to success. Success is always inclusion in the situation. Failure is avoiding the situation!

Respect and love yourself. You are the most valuable thing you have! If you don't exist, there won't be anything! By realizing this, you take another step towards your confidence.

Self Confidence Structure

Every person is self-confident, but the level of self-esteem is completely different. Thus, they distinguish between low self-esteem, normal and high self-esteem. If the level is low, a person needs additional motivation to achieve harmony with himself. If it is too high, the individual will have to be brought down “from heaven to earth.”

How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence for a woman - psychology

Confidence presupposes the ability to plan the path to a goal, giving it a beginning (the first step), thinking through actions, thinking through obstacles and consequences in achieving it.

Note! If the consequences turned out to be irreversible, then a confident person breaks them down into their components: a step towards understanding them, justifying self-respect, and also deriving new opportunities from such a mistake in order to gain satisfaction from the experience gained.

Self-confidence consists of the ability to communicate and behave in society, using the right statements and compliments. Such people give without hesitation and receive with gratitude. They are often an example of motivation, a model of success, being the center of attention.

A confident person is not afraid to start moving towards a goal, during which he tries to take everything possible from the process: develop talents, gain new knowledge, work independently and in a team, being part of it or in a leadership role. A confident person is able to take on different roles, realizing more and more of himself.

How is self-confidence formed?

The first prerequisites for self-confidence or self-doubt are laid in childhood. Parents, teachers, friends - a child’s self-esteem is influenced by everyone with whom he communicates and on whom he depends in everyday life. As his self-awareness develops, he learns to look at himself through the eyes of those around him. He tries to understand how his loved ones evaluate him, what traits, talents and actions they focus on.

Insecurities formed in childhood can often remain unchanged throughout life. However, this is not a reason to despair, because self-confidence can be developed at any age. We will look at 10 proven tips that, when applied methodically, will help anyone believe in themselves and their strengths.

What to do to gain confidence

People who don't have much success in life wonder what it means to feel confident. Almost every day the question arises why some people get everything easily and simply, while others have to work hard and then at the risk of being left out. When there is no self-confidence, there is no confidence in the future, or in work, or in any other direction in life. Therefore, it is very important to start training this quality, for which, first of all, you need to respect and love yourself.

You don't need to appear better, but it's important to be yourself

Confidence is an attitude towards oneself, which is built from self-esteem, respect, and recognition of achievements. All these elements are associated with doubts that, it would seem, should be excluded. However, statistics show that doubts have a right to exist, unless you listen to yourself and understand that experience will overcome them.

It is important to observe those moments when a person’s confidence completely leaves him - these are his vulnerabilities, topics that need to be worked on. To do this, you should pay attention to your strengths, which will help in effectively combating uncertainty.

Note! One of the most important and difficult rules is to exclude from your life people who promote insecurity with words like “you won’t succeed.”

At critical moments, you need to imagine what an individual would do if he were confident. Then you can move in this direction, taking into account an interesting point: everything depends only on the person himself.

You shouldn’t seem better, because in a moment a person gets tired of it, then he shows his true self, which others are sincerely surprised by. However, you should be friendly and attentive.

Self-confidence is a psychological description of a person who is ready to take responsibility, take risks, and receive rewards for hard work. This quality manifests itself in everything: behavior, conversation, appearance. It is also important that confidence can be increased and trained. The main thing is not to overdo it, otherwise excessive self-confidence can be harmful.

How to recognize a person who lacks self-confidence?

Ecology of life. When communicating with your interlocutor, it would be useful to find out how confident he is in himself: his appearance, behavior, self-worth. For what? Read and find out!..

When communicating with your interlocutor, it would be useful to find out how confident he is in himself: his appearance, behavior, self-worth. For what? Read and find out!

Of course, self-doubt is not the best quality in a person. But if you encounter just such an interlocutor, you have a chance to win him over to your side and are guaranteed to make him your ally in any matter. To do this, first you need to find out whether the person is really unsure of himself. Of course, ask the question: “Are you confident in yourself?” It’s not worth it: at best, the interlocutor will remain silent, at worst, he will be offended and will not communicate with you further. Try to find out by taking a closer look at his behavior.

Signs of an insecure person

He is often silent, even when he disagrees with the interlocutor, and does not object out loud. It is difficult for him to defend his point of view. For example: you know for sure that your friend loves flowers, but when they come up in conversation and someone present says that the bouquet is “the corpses of flowers,” she remains silent. Or he nods as if he agrees.

Doesn't know how to talk about his feelings. Often his speech is replete with verbs: “went”, “found out”, “went”, but there are few adjectives in it, which help us express our feelings. This happens because a person is not used to understanding his own emotions. Perhaps he is not even aware of them. It is easier for a person who is insecure to talk about events than to talk about his attitude towards them.

It is difficult to make contact with strangers. For him, it’s real torture to start a conversation with a stranger, and especially to support him. Perhaps, at the same time, he is dissuaded by certain principles, for example, a woman may declare that, as a matter of principle, she does not meet people on the street. The truth, however, is that she is afraid that she will make the wrong impression.

Focused on others rather than self. Such a person often does what is expected of him - in order to earn the approval of others. Sometimes this happens even to his own detriment. For example, an insecure relative will without any words agree to help you with the housework, even if she has a trip to the dentist scheduled for that day.

He finds it difficult to make a decision. People who lack self-confidence often shift responsibility for their lives to others, and this also applies to the decisions they make. If a person asks you what to do and mindlessly follows your advice, he is unsure of himself.

Compares himself with others. If a person, discussing a third person in front of you, often says something like this: “Yes, Olya looks good. But I...", "Katya managed to make a career. It’s just me who can’t…”, “Compared to me, he lives well” - this is a sign that your interlocutor is used to being guided by others in everything. And compare yourself with them.

External signs: hunched back, hunched shoulders, poor or constrained gestures, too fast speech. All these signs may indicate an insecure person.

Why do you need to know this?

If your interlocutor is insecure, you can get a lot of benefits from communicating with him. Maybe manipulation is not very good, but in the case when you need to win a person over to your side, it comes in handy.

Give him a compliment - sincerely, with all your heart. Surely there is something cute about him - something that you like. Your approval will make him your ally.

Show that you and him are kindred spirits. An insecure individual often suffers from loneliness - not external, but internal. If he understands that you share his views and values, he will be favorable towards you.

Refer to authority. If he talks to you about a certain person in a breathy tone, you can say something like this: “By the way, he also uses the services of this fitness trainer.” If you need your interlocutor to contact this fitness trainer, with this simple phrase you will achieve what you want.

Keep in mind: Of course, insecure people are easy to manipulate, but before you try to win him over, think about the consequences. Will it turn out that over time he will shift all responsibility for his actions onto you? Published