Attack with aggression! 8 Ways to Deal with Anger

Attacks of rage: causes, treatment methods, advice from psychologists

People are capable of experiencing a huge range of feelings, both positive and negative.
States of sadness, irritation, and apathy are familiar to everyone. Of course, I would like to always be in a good mood and never experience unpleasant emotions, but in real life, in society, this is impossible. No one is immune from negative emotions. Things that irritate any average person can happen at any moment - long lines in a store, non-working Internet, misunderstanding on the part of the interlocutor - we encounter this every day. Especially in a dialogue with an interlocutor, sooner or later everyone finds themselves in a situation where they are not happy with something about what is happening, the conversation begins to turn into a discussion, and tension increases between the speakers. Everyone struggles with stressful situations in different ways, looking for possible ways out of it, and one of these ways for many is anger. There is no person who has never experienced it, right? In some cases, everyone is capable of showing aggression, and in rare situations this is even the only right decision. But when emotions get out of our control, when anger and rage are so strong that they guide our actions, this can harm the people around us, our relationships with them, and, first of all, ourselves and our health, both physical and moral.

In an inflamed state, people change beyond recognition; they can frighten, upset, or even cause physical harm to another person in a fit of uncontrollable anger. At such moments, all the worst sides appear, which naturally causes a negative reaction from others. You may be familiar with a situation where, without performing any provocative actions, you provoke aggression on the part of your interlocutor. It's always unpleasant when a person breaks down at you, seemingly because of some insignificant detail. In such a situation, you should not blame yourself, because, most likely, the problem is not in your actions or words, but in the emotional state of your opponent. Unexpectedly manifested aggression that a person is unable to contain is usually called a fit of rage. Emotions that are stronger than common sense and self-control find their way out and spill out onto others at the most unpredictable moments.

Uncontrollable attacks of rage occur in almost all people, regardless of gender, age, character or social status. There are no people who always behave calmly and balanced, but constant display of aggression is unacceptable by society. A person who suffers from fits of rage and vents negativity on people close to him often regrets the consequences of his anger. And you should not consider such incidents to be the norm, because they can be a signal of serious problems with a person’s moral or physical health. Negative emotions, especially anger, have a very negative effect on the state of the body and never arise without good reason. People who often show aggression will be more susceptible to all sorts of diseases than members of society who have a positive attitude towards themselves and others. If you notice yourself being excessively irritable, wanting to yell at your interlocutor, or often behaving inappropriately, then you should think that perhaps the problem is not external, but internal to you and requires immediate intervention.

Diseases

A person's moral state is greatly influenced by sleep and eating patterns. A person who is often tired due to lack of sleep will be more aggressive towards others. Proper nutrition also plays a significant role in behavior. Due to a lack or excess of certain substances that the body receives from food, a person may experience various types of mental disorders, leading to uncontrollable outbursts of anger.

People who have suffered cardiovascular disease are often prone to aggressive behavior. For example, a person who has survived a stroke or myocardial infarction may suffer outbursts of rage for the rest of his life. While taking any medications, unexpected rage may be a kind of side effect. But after completing the course, as a rule, such an effect ceases to influence human behavior.

Hidden mental illnesses play a huge role in human behavior. People suffering from depression, bipolar disorder, Asperger's syndrome, and dissociative identity disorder (multiple personality disorder) often experience uncontrollable outbursts of rage.

Passive aggression and what are its causes

At first glance, this phrase has a contradictory context and a vague form. In fact, there are no contradictions here, and the term is chosen very correctly.

Passive-aggressive behavior is an attempt to suppress dissatisfaction or anger through messages that are covered up by less aggressive manifestations. Passive (suppressed) aggression is a hidden, veiled negative attitude towards a person without violating moral and ethical standards towards him. The feeling or emotion on the part of the offender is expressed eloquently and not ambiguous, but socially acceptable. In other words, there is no objective evidence of sabotage. This is such quiet, well-mannered meanness. And precisely because meanness is veiled, it is so difficult, firstly, to make it public, and secondly, to neutralize it.

Passive aggression is

manifestation of the qualities of a psychologically immature person who, for one reason or another, does not solve the problem through constructive dialogue with an opponent.

What makes a person use passive aggressive tactics?

Reluctance to take on the role of instigator of conflict. By torturing his victim, the passive aggressor is left with clean hands, while having a step to retreat.
Destructive emotions towards the opponent (resentment, jealousy, envy, antipathy, irritation).
Inability to respond to the offender in any other way. For this reason, women and children are more likely to choose passive aggressive tactics.
Inability to properly enter into open conflict.
Fear of unpredictability of the opponent's reaction.
Fear of expressing your needs or grievances directly.

It is noteworthy that a person who has chosen such interaction tactics is not always aware of his own behavior. At moments of manifestation of suppressed aggression, he is guided by complexes and fears that prompt him to carry out this kind of defense. At the same time, the motives for defense are not always obvious even to the aggressor himself.

Habits and character

People prone to addictions that are destructive to the body (alcohol, nicotine, drug addiction) often do not control their behavior. Accordingly, they will be more likely to be subject to unreasonable manifestations of aggression. People who lead a healthy lifestyle, have hobbies and interests, and prefer a positive outlook on life are not predisposed to unpredictable outbursts of rage.

Also, a person’s type of temperament can be the cause of attacks of rage and anger. Temperament lays down the basic model of human behavior and character. Phlegmatic people show incredible calm in many situations, and choleric people, for example, are more prone to attacks of rage and anger than other people. Sanguine people can also be prone to outbursts of aggression. People with a quick temper rarely control their emotions; any deviation from their view of the situation can anger them. Outbursts of rage are characteristic of people who are insecure and have low self-esteem. In this case, throwing out negative emotions on others is just an attempt to assert oneself.

Aggression in men

Uncontrollable outbursts of anger in the male half of the population may appear more often than in the female half - the behavior of today's men is determined by the inheritance of their ancestors. Since ancient times, men had to defend their family and territory, fight for survival, and aggressive behavior greatly contributed to this. However, nowadays people do not have to worry about the issues of life in this way, so the need for constant attacks towards others has disappeared. But most men to this day have a hot temper. They are, of course, more resistant to stressful situations and more emotionally stable than women, but it is quite easy to drive even the most balanced man into a state of rage. As a result, uncontrollable attacks of rage and anger occur much more often in men. There can be many reasons for this, and they can arise due to disturbances in a person’s physical health, but psychologists attribute attacks of rage in men to problems in the psychological sphere.

Attacks of rage in men manifest themselves differently than in women - in addition to raising the volume of their voice, a man can also use brute force. Anger often manifests itself due to disturbances in the hormonal components of the body, for example, with an excess of testosterone and adrenaline or a lack of serotonin and dopamine. Angry outbursts can be symptoms of illnesses such as fever, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or bipolar disorder. It is believed that married men are less likely to be aggressive, but there are exceptions here too. If your family has good relationships and home life does not cause negative emotions in your husband, but your couple has problems in matters of intimacy, then sexual dissatisfaction can also be the cause of your husband’s attacks of rage.

Aggression in women

Despite the fact that the fair sex, mainly due to the variability of their emotional background, is characterized by deviant behavior, attacks of rage in women who do not have health problems occur quite rarely. A woman’s mood changes quite often during the day, and even the most insignificant detail can cause slight irritation or dissatisfaction, but girls are not capable of constant display of strong aggression. Usually they tend to correctly assess and analyze the situation, and therefore are less likely to find reasons for serious conflicts. However, women react very strongly if someone hurts their feelings. Although their attacks of rage and anger occur less frequently than men, they are more destructive and have much more serious consequences for their psychological health.

During an attack of rage, women usually fall into hysterics, start screaming, use insults towards the interlocutor, occasionally using brute force. The causes of rage attacks in women lie in all sorts of physiological and somatic diseases or abnormalities. A banal metabolic disorder or sleep pattern, frequent exposure to stress can become the basis for uncontrolled outbursts of aggression. The behavior of girls is greatly influenced by the hormonal component of the body. For example, during menstruation, when the body releases more hormones, many women reported more aggressive behavior than on other days. Deviation of behavior can be especially pronounced in pregnant women due to hormonal instability. Also, post-traumatic syndrome, especially in the later stages, postpartum depression or endocrine and vascular diseases are often the cause of attacks of rage and rage. Oncologists consider causeless outbursts of anger in women to be one of the symptoms of a head tumor.

Features of unmotivated male aggression

We can conditionally divide manifestations of rage into motivated and unmotivated. It is possible to understand and partially justify aggression shown in a state of passion. This is often called "righteous anger." If someone offends this man’s loved ones, encroaches on their life and health, then an aggressive response is at least understandable.

The problem is such attacks of aggression in men, the causes of which cannot be calculated at first glance. What came over him? I was just a normal person, and suddenly they changed me! This is roughly what witnesses to sudden unmotivated rage that erupts in any form, verbal or physical, respond to. In fact, any action has a reason, explanation or motive, they just don’t always lie on the surface.

Aggression in children

Physically and mentally healthy children, although they are often in an excited state and are very active most of the time, the child should not have fits of rage. The state of hysteria will have a very negative impact on the baby’s health in the future. Frequently recurring attacks of rage and anger may indicate disorders in the body, such as hyperactivity. Punishment or application of any sanctions against a child is useless; this will only worsen his condition. A strict attitude, and even more so screaming during a hysteria, will cause excessive fear, which in the future will turn the child hostile against his parents. Children are not protected morally, many emotions are new to them, and when a child feels bad, he expects support from his family.

The surest and only way out in the fight against attacks of rage and aggression in children is to console them at the right moment, and when the emotions subside, explain to the child why they cannot express their feelings in this way. Attacks of anger have a wave-like structure, and parental intervention is required either at the time of increase in emotions that have not yet reached their peak, or in the process of their decrease. If tantrums happen with unenviable consistency, look for a problem in the behavior of the adults around him. Children tend to copy the behavior and emotions of people nearby, that is, if adults in the family resolve their issues through aggression, then the child will consider the manifestation of anger to be the norm. In addition, outbursts of aggression in children may be due to developing mental illnesses such as Asperger's syndrome or schizophrenia.

Attacks of aggression in a child

Often, parents of small children are faced with the following problem: the child swings at people close to him, hits them in the face, pinches them, spits, and uses swear words. You cannot take this behavior of a child calmly. If this kind of situation tends to recur, then parents need to analyze at what moments the child’s attacks of aggression appear, put themselves in the child’s place, and figure out what causes such outbursts of anger.

Attacks of aggression in a child almost always occur for external reasons: family troubles, lack of what they want, deprivation of something, experimentation on adults.

Attacks of aggression in a one-year-old child manifest themselves in the form of bites from an adult or peer. For babies, bites are a way of learning about the world around them. Some one-year-old children resort to biting when they cannot achieve their goal because they cannot express their desires. The bite is an attempt to assert one’s rights, as well as an expression of one’s experience or failure. Some children bite when threatened. Babies also bite out of the need for self-defense, since they cannot cope with the situation on their own. There are babies who bite to demonstrate their strength. This is what kids do who strive for power over others. Sometimes bites can also be caused by neurological reasons. When you understand what causes your child’s negative behavior, it will be easier for you to help him cope with himself and teach him positive techniques for resolving conflict situations.

How to deal with child aggression? Remember that children learn from the examples of those around them. The baby adopts a lot of his behavior from the family. If rough treatment in the family is the norm, then the baby will learn such forms, and the cruel behavior of adults will serve as prerequisites for neuroses. Remember that the baby's behavior is a complete mirror reflection of what is happening in the family. Very often, aggressive behavior is a reaction to lack of attention to the child, and thus the baby attracts attention to himself. The child learns that bad behavior quickly earns him long-awaited attention. Therefore, adults should communicate with the child as often as possible, supporting his positive communication with other people and peers.

It happens that attacks of aggression in a child are provoked by an atmosphere of indulgence, when the child never knows refusal and achieves everything with screams and hysterics. In this case, adults should be patient, because the more advanced the problem, the more difficult it is to carry out corrections to eliminate attacks of aggression in the child. You shouldn’t expect that the child will grow up and everything will change. A mandatory rule in communicating with a child is the constancy of adults’ demands in all situations, especially when aggression occurs.

Correcting attacks of aggression in a child includes involving game situations and acting them out with toy characters that are close to real situations. As soon as you teach your child to behave calmly, your baby will immediately find a common language with other children.

Dealing with rage attacks

You need to monitor your condition and immediately notice if the situation is getting out of control. Psychologists recommend first identifying factors that negatively affect your morale and avoiding them in the future. If, however, the cause of the attack of rage cannot be discovered or it is impossible to get rid of it, then it is worth regularly taking actions that help you throw out accumulated emotions. For example, do some physical exercise. You can also try to be distracted by some third-party activities: mental stress, music, and the development of fine motor skills concentrate attention and calm anger. Try to transform your negative energy. Develop permanent habits - take care of the house, embroider, draw - in a word, perform a certain series of sequential actions that have a positive effect on your morale.

Your emotional state greatly depends on the type of activity you do. If your job doesn't suit you or when you come home you feel like you've been squeezed out of a lemon, you should think about changing your profession. Or at least take yourself a little vacation - perhaps your nervous system just needs a break from routine.

If your anger was caused by a quarrel or the behavior of your interlocutor that is unacceptable to you, just try to talk with your opponent, discuss aspects that do not suit both of you - this way you will come to an agreement and calm your feelings. In any case, a conversation will be more effective than shouting; try to understand your interlocutor; perhaps, in the midst of an argument, you did not notice that it was you who were wrong.

Before looking for the cause of attacks of rage, you should calm down, switch to something else that does not concern the topic that has inflamed you - psychologists say that it is completely useless to fight the problem and try to self-analyze your state “in the heat of the moment.” To prevent uninvited emotions from taking you by surprise, try to maintain proper sleep patterns and regularly eat healthy foods. If you have any addictions, such as nicotine or alcohol, you should get rid of them. However, if sudden attacks of rage occur to you or your loved ones regularly, and you are unable to pacify your raging emotions until they recede, you should immediately consult a doctor.

Etiology

The reason for uncontrollable outbursts of anger may be the following:

diseases that lead to hormonal imbalance;
diabetes;
elevated cholesterol levels;
stroke;
head injuries;
Alzheimer's disease;
asthenia of the nervous system;
hyperthyroidism;
chronic diseases of various nature;
premenstrual syndrome;
psychiatric diseases.

In addition, it is necessary to highlight external factors that can also lead to uncontrollable outbursts of anger in women and men:

taking certain medications, including sleeping pills;
alcohol abuse, taking narcotic drugs and psychotropic drugs not as a treatment for a specific disease;
chronic fatigue, constant lack of sleep;
insufficient rest;
tense environment at home and at work;
frequent stress, chronic depression;
dissatisfaction in personal life;
severe psycho-emotional shock;
moral violence.

Separately, it is necessary to highlight the etiological factors that may cause such a disorder in children:

severe lack of attention;
improper upbringing, permissiveness, lack of control;
complex psycho-emotional situation in the child’s environment.

Only a qualified specialist can establish the exact cause of the development of such a symptom in a person; self-medication, in this case, is extremely dangerous.

How do passive-aggressive men communicate with women?

Of course, men who are alienated from their masculinity need outside protection. After all, they cannot protect themselves from anxiety and frustration, and, therefore, they look for in a woman either a mother (controller and tyrant, savior and caring), or a sister (understanding and comforting). None of these roles ensures the normalization of family relationships, since a woman needs to reveal herself in all female roles, but what she gets is a forcedly acquired role of a mother hen.

That is why there are currently so many couples in which women strengthen the roles of administrators and try with all their might to cultivate femininity in themselves in order to find a more “masculine” type of behavior. And at the same time, they often blame themselves for mistakes, although in fact in many ways they are powerless to create a Man out of a man if he is simply not ready for such changes.

And this gives rise to another layer of flawed relationships in which the role of women is devalued by society itself. And women, due to circumstances, are forced to lower the bar for their own growth, deliberately entering into destructive, destructive relationships (including with obviously dependent types of men), in which both lose. We will devote the following article to this issue about the roles of men and women in society, which lead to the strengthening of the “right” of men to degrade.

An obvious conclusion can be drawn: a passive-aggressive man with low assertiveness (low level of independence from outside influence) is a man who still has a long way to go in maturing and interacting with feminine nature.

Any man a priori has a high level of aggressiveness

than a woman. By suppressing aggression, a man plants a time bomb. It is for this reason that breakdowns, “gray hair in the head - devil in the ribs” situations arise, outbursts of unmotivated emotions, sudden actions.

The difference between a holistic and mature man is that he is not afraid of his strength and directs it in the right direction: to find his destiny, to realize his goals, to help and provide for his family, to raise children and care for those he cares about. took responsibility.

Unfortunately or fortunately, a woman, especially an authoritarian woman-mother, is no help in this. It is from the “mother’s breast” that a man must tear himself away in order to begin to take his own steps and comprehend his own experience. We will also tell you why such a number of infantile men is currently growing. A separate conversation will be devoted to this.

Men who do not have maturity uselessly seek themselves in relationships with women, although the first thing they need to do is stop relying on someone and begin to courageously admit their weaknesses. That's half the battle. And then there will be a long process of self-education.

Those who are raised on a surrogate of masculine qualities: on the control and authority of the mother, without the influence of normal masculine strength, grow up with an unconscious desire to destroy what crushes and breaks. And this happens unconsciously. On the one hand, a weak-willed man cannot do without his mother’s skirt, and on the other, he is irritated and humiliated by this, and he always hesitates between fire and water, between the desire to humiliate and trample and between the urgent need of life to receive benefits: protection, help, support, often material.

The inability to get out of the vicious circle gives rise to either a cycle of endless betrayals (again in search of oneself), or depression, drug addiction or alcoholism, denial of all norms, attempts at escapism (escape from reality).

The lost man is thrashing about, and it is very noticeable. He can search for himself completely neurotically, change his place of residence, job, women (wives), despite the countless number of illegitimate children growing up without a father.

Such men are sure that winning a woman means suppressing her, moving away from her and “not letting her sit on your neck.”

The need to humiliate and dominate manifests itself everywhere, including this is noticeable in a career, when a loser who has achieved power and has no responsibility begins to display a power complex, deliberately belittling others. So he is trying to prove to the world that he is worth something.

Symptoms

The clinical picture, in this case, will completely depend on the underlying factor. If anger and attacks of rage are not caused by a disease, then, as a rule, there are no additional symptoms, and the attacks go away as the provoking factor is eliminated.

Showing anger

If the cause of such a clinical manifestation is a hormonal imbalance, then the following clinical picture may occur:

sudden changes in mood, attacks of aggression for no apparent reason;
weight gain, even if the amount of food consumed does not increase;
headaches, sleep cycle disturbances;
possible disorders of the gastrointestinal tract;
general deterioration of health;
periodic increases in temperature;
exacerbation of chronic diseases, if any;
in women - menstrual irregularities.

Sudden outbursts of anger may be present in the clinical picture of diabetes mellitus, which will be characterized by the following clinical picture:

constant thirst;
loss of appetite;
dysfunction of the gastrointestinal tract;
swelling of the lower extremities;
disturbance of the urination process - frequent urge, feeling of incomplete bowel movement;
decreased or complete absence of sexual desire in men and women to the same extent;
sleep cycle disturbance;
sudden mood swings.

Also, attacks of rage, without a visible provoking factor, may be present during pregnancy, which is not a pathological process. However, if this clinical manifestation is accompanied by additional symptoms, you should immediately seek medical help, as this condition can be dangerous for both the mother and the child.

Frequent attacks of anger and general psycho-emotional stability are always present with a disease such as hyperthyroidism, which will be characterized by the following clinical picture:

nervousness, increased excitability;
emotional imbalance;
rapid, sometimes incoherent speech;
a feeling of panic and anxiety for no apparent reason;
insomnia;
protrusion of the eyeball, double vision;
symptoms of acute heart failure;
unstable blood pressure;
elevated temperature;
increased sweating, especially at night;
weight loss, but at the same time there is an increased appetite;
Women may experience exacerbation of gynecological diseases and menstrual irregularities.

Uncontrollable outbursts of anger can be a clinical manifestation of asthenia of the nervous system, which will be characterized by the presence of the following symptoms:

nervous breakdowns that can end in hysterical neurosis;
irritability, inadequate reaction to unusual events;
a change in a person’s psychotype, behavior that is usually unusual for him;
worsening sleep;
unstable blood pressure;
general fatigue, decreased performance;
dizziness, shortness of breath;
loss of appetite;
headaches, which can often be accompanied by an unpleasant sensation in the chest area;
development of a depressive state;
damage to the musculoskeletal system, speech impairment, loss of appetite.

With elevated cholesterol levels, uncontrollable attacks of rage will be accompanied by the following symptoms:

yellow spots on the skin;
pain in the legs and swelling when walking, as the severity of the disease worsens, even at rest;
pain in the heart area;
disruption of the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract.

Signs of high cholesterol

Anger attacks may be present after a stroke. In this case, only symptoms of the underlying disease may be present. If a stroke causes deterioration in brain function, the following clinical manifestations may be present:

deterioration of memory and cognitive abilities;
speech disorder;
blurred vision;
motor dysfunction.

Attacks of anger may be a consequence of the fact that, due to poor speech and deterioration of motor function, the patient cannot independently perform habitual movements and actions, which is why he feels helpless.

In Alzheimer's disease and diseases with a similar etiology and clinical picture, outbursts of anger may be accompanied by the following symptoms:

significant changes in human behavior;
forgetfulness, memory impairment;
violation of movement coordination;
the patient may be lost in time and space;
sudden mood swings and reactions to certain things that were previously unusual for the patient;
headaches, dizziness;
uncontrolled acts of defecation and urination;
weight loss;
speech disorder;
weakness, apathy towards everything around.

It should be noted that the symptoms of this disease can manifest themselves in the initial stages only in irritability, slight memory impairment and periodic bouts of rage. It is this feature of the clinical picture that leads to the disease being diagnosed at a late stage.

A symptom such as attacks of anger and rage is present in many psychiatric diseases, which can be characterized as follows:

memory loss, deterioration of cognitive abilities;
speech disorder;
suicidal tendencies, chronic depression;
panic attacks;
feeling of fear, anxiety for no apparent reason;
change in habitual human behavior, selfishness;
visual or auditory hallucinations;
headaches that are not relieved by painkillers.

It should be understood that regardless of what clinical picture occurs, you should seek help from qualified medical specialists. Such a condition of a person can be dangerous not only for him, but also for the people around him - the patient can harm their health unknowingly.

Treatment

In most cases, therapy is carried out using conservative methods. The basis of treatment is taking certain medications, following a daily routine, rest and proper nutrition.

Drug treatment may include the following drugs:

sedatives;
hypnotic;
drugs to improve cerebral circulation;
antidepressants;
adaptogens.

In addition, you should pay attention to general recommendations that can also be used as prevention:

moderate physical activity, daily walks in the fresh air;
optimal diet, timely consumption of food;
exclusion of drugs, alcohol abuse;
normalization of work and rest patterns, sufficient sleep.

Also, if possible, you should limit yourself from stressful situations and nervous tension. For psychological problems, it is rational to seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Only a doctor knows how to deal with such attacks, what medications can be used to get rid of outbursts of anger. Self-medication, in this case, is extremely dangerous, as is ignoring the symptom.

How to resist aggression

Playing sports is an opportunity to get rid of accumulated anger

First you need to get examined. It is possible that outbursts of aggressive behavior are caused by health problems.
If no medical reasons for this behavior have been identified, then it is necessary to understand the factors that provoke it. You can identify them on your own or by seeking help from an experienced psychotherapist or psychologist.
It is important to realize how such a manifestation of rage turns out for you, what “benefit” you get from it.
Learn relaxation techniques. You can engage in spiritual practices, yoga, meditation, and learn to calm down with breathing exercises.
It is important to learn to recognize impending aggression in time. Remember that a mild form of anger is irritation and dissatisfaction with something. To avoid sudden manifestations of rage and anger, it is necessary to promptly get rid of accumulated irritation, release anger without affecting other people, for example, through sports or active pastime. You can also throw out aggression through art therapy, depicting the reason for your anger on a piece of paper.
When the first manifestations of irritability appear, you should take a bath with aromatherapy or drink herbal tea with lemon balm or mint.
We need to find a safe way to release what has accumulated inside. You can talk to the person you're angry with, beat a pillow, tear a piece of paper into small pieces, or go for a run. At the same time, you need to understand that in this way you only calm yourself down for a while and if there is a serious problem, then it will continue to gnaw at you with the same force.
Make sure you get healthy, full sleep. It is important to train yourself to go to bed no later than 23:00 and ensure that you get eight hours of rest at night.
You need to spend a lot of time outdoors, participate in active games, and travel.
Analyze your circle of friends. If you are surrounded by negative people, then most likely that is why you behave this way. In such a situation, you need to change your environment.
Learn to avoid stressful situations.
You shouldn’t take on all the responsibilities in the house; it’s better to distribute them among other family members.
If you cannot solve this issue on your own, you should consult a psychotherapist. A specialist will help identify the true causes and work on eliminating them.

Now you know for what reasons outbursts of aggression can occur. As you can see, there are many different factors that influence the development of anger and rage. Do not forget about the reasons indicating health problems. In such situations, in the fight against manifestations of anger, specialized treatment cannot be avoided. In other cases, it is important to learn to control yourself and not take out your anger on loved ones.

Types and types of male aggression

It is worth immediately noting that negative emotions splashing out are not exclusively a male prerogative. Women are just as capable of being aggressors; they do not monitor their actions and words. The paradox is that male aggression is partly considered socially acceptable. Of course, extreme manifestations are condemned, but at the same time there are many justifications for such a phenomenon as aggression in men. The reasons can be very diverse - from competition to health conditions.

There are two main types of aggression that are easily defined even by non-specialists:

verbal, when negativity is expressed in shouting or openly negative language;
physical, when there are beatings, destruction, attempted murder.

With auto-aggression, negativity is directed at oneself and manifests itself in all sorts of destructive actions. The motto of this type of aggression is: “Let it be worse for me.”

Psychologists classify the destructive behavior we are considering into several types according to the following criteria: method of manifestation, direction, causes, degrees of expression. Self-diagnosis in this case is practically impossible, since in most cases the aggressor seeks self-justification, does not see and does not want to see the problem, and successfully shifts the blame to others.

Attacks of aggression in adults: why they occur and how to cope with them

Erich Fromm distinguished two types of aggression: benign, which serves to protect one’s interests, property and life, and malignant, which is an acquired pathological model of behavior. In the second case, a person, in order to raise his own authority, can humiliate, insult, beat others, and exert psychological pressure on them. What leads to attacks of aggression? How to deal with them?

Middle age crisis

If such cases have not been observed before, then sudden aggression in a 35-year-old man can most often be associated with a midlife crisis. The age of maximalism is left behind, and the man begins to weigh whether all the decisions made were really correct, whether it was a mistake. Literally everything comes into question: is this the right family, is this the right woman, is this the right direction in one’s career? Or maybe it was worth going to another institute and then marrying someone else, or not marrying at all?

Doubts and hesitations, an acute sense of missed opportunities - all this weakens the nervous system, reduces the level of tolerance and sociability. It begins to seem that there is still time to change everything in one jerk. Everyone around seems to have conspired and does not understand this emotional impulse. Well, they can be put in their place by force, since they do not understand good. Fortunately, the midlife crisis passes sooner or later. The main thing is to remember that periods of despondency are normal, but this is not a reason to ruin your life.

Aggression as a symptom of a disease

The appearance of unmotivated aggression occurs as a result of certain diseases. These include:

hyperthyroidism;
excess weight;
neurological disorders;
personality disorders;
injuries;
malignant neoplasms.

Hyperthyroidism. Increased irritability for no particular reason may indicate problems with hormonal levels. Often this symptom develops in women. Affected people may feel hungry but remain thin. Excessive food consumption does not affect your figure in any way. The disease can be recognized by nervousness, high activity, red skin and excessive sweating.

Excess weight. Fat deposits can provoke the production of estrogen. As a result, there is a negative impact on the psyche, both in women and men. It is enough to get rid of extra pounds - and the unpleasant symptom will go away by itself.

Neurological disorders. Aggression can be a symptom of serious illnesses and can lead to Alzheimer's disease. A person gradually loses interest in life and withdraws into himself. In this case, excessive aggressiveness and memory problems are noted. This symptomatology is a serious reason to consult a doctor.

Personality disorders. Unmotivated aggression can be a sign of serious mental problems and even schizophrenia. Most schizophrenics live normal lives, presenting no danger to others. During periods of exacerbation, their aggressiveness increases, which requires psychiatric treatment. Trauma and malignant neoplasms. Mental excitability can be caused by brain damage. Rage and high activity may give way to apathy. All this indicates a serious injury or tumor process.

Often the causes of aggression are hidden in sociopathy, stress disorder or alcohol addiction. The first condition is a character anomaly. A person does not need the company of other people, moreover, he is afraid of them. This is a congenital problem associated with the inferiority of the nervous system. Stress disorder creates a hostile attitude towards others. This happens if a person is constantly in the midst of unpleasant situations. An aggressive state is also typical for people suffering from alcoholism.

Unmotivated aggression among representatives of the stronger half can occur due to physiological and psychological characteristics. Increased irritability may indicate chronic diseases, in particular damage to the endocrine system. Nervousness is caused by constant conflicts and stressful situations.

Attacks of aggression can occur due to grumpiness and rudeness. Psychological nervousness can appear as a result of constant lack of sleep, hormonal changes, overwork or depression. The man is dissatisfied with himself and takes his anger out on others. Aggression can also be motivated, namely, associated with noisy neighbors, loud music or TV.

Sometimes even the most non-conflict people lose their temper and take out their anger on others. This is often due to the fact that a person has been accumulating negative emotions for years and simply does not give them a way out. Over time, patience runs out and aggression comes out for no apparent reason. Sometimes one negative sign is enough for a symptom to appear. This could be a loud voice or a sudden movement. The person breaks down instantly and is unable to control himself. It is necessary to monitor your own condition and try to stop aggression in time.

The main reason for aggression in women is misunderstanding and powerlessness. This happens when a representative of the fair sex is unable to express herself without the support of others. The absence of a specific plan of action causes an emotional explosion.

Aggression is not dangerous in all cases. Sometimes this is the only way to throw out emotions to activate new strength and energy. However, you should not resort to this all the time. Aggression is a positive phenomenon, but only if it is aimed at solving a specific problem. If this condition is constant and does not bring any relief, family members and relatives fall under the negative influence. In this case, aggression indicates chronic fatigue and can appear as a result of constant noise, an influx of negative emotions and minor troubles. If you do not learn to deal with this condition, there is a risk of developing constant aggression. This entails dissatisfaction with one's own life. As a result, not only the woman herself suffers, but also the people around her.

Motivated aggression can be caused by diseases, lack of communication and constant noise. Often a woman is susceptible to this condition while raising a child. She has a lack of communication and opportunities for self-expression. All these conditions need to be controlled.

How to respond to passive aggression in others and yourself

First of all, this type of manipulation must be monitored. This applies to both the behavior of others and your own. After all, sometimes we ourselves are not aware of our reactions towards this or that person.

Look for where aggression gets its legs

There is always a reason for such behavior, but it is not always obvious. Your task is to track the cause-and-effect relationship between the reactions of the passive aggressor. If the aggressor is you, analyze when this kind of emotion first took possession of you. At what age? In relation to whom and in what situation? This will help you understand why you use these tactics later in life.

Analyze

This advice applies to you if you are that passive aggressor. As soon as you start your game again, slow down and think. Will your behavior change the person? Will it make your relationship better? Will the situation improve? Most likely, you will answer “no” to all questions. Therefore, it is better to change the response to constructive dialogue and publicizing the reasons for your dissatisfaction. Learn to discuss your problems openly. Sincerity and willingness to meet halfway strengthens relationships, while hidden aggression only destroys them. Visualize for yourself the ideal development of the relationship and think about what you can do to bring the situation closer to as comfortable as possible.

Bring the aggressor out into the open

It is difficult for a manipulator to recognize himself as such, and your task is to gently and delicately help him with this. Ask the person specific questions or voice your true intentions. But do it without sarcasm and with respect.

If your mother-in-law gives you, a girl with unpierced ears, earrings, openly and good-naturedly say that ear piercing is not part of your plans. And next time, offer to choose gifts together.
If the manipulator plays a game of silence with you or “bombs” you with double messages, take an active position and say why your loved one is dissatisfied. And then offer a compromise solution to the problem.
If you are compared, devalued or belittled, take these barbs to the extreme. A sense of humor and self-irony will come in handy here. For example, unexpectedly agree with the offender and say that he is absolutely right. This probably goes against the script that he imposes on you. By doing this, you will let him know that there is nothing to hook you on, and his attempts to humiliate you are zero.
If a person prefers to conduct military operations against you with the wrong hands, there is no other way except for a frank conversation. Try together to find out the reason for this behavior. Diplomacy and diplomacy again. If your opponent does not cooperate, if possible, stop communicating or move away to the maximum safe distance. The same applies to the people with whose hands the manipulator does his job.

Passive aggression is a psychological destructive behavior that is difficult to get rid of. But only by eliminating her from our lives do we get the opportunity to build healthy relationships.

Aggression in children and adolescents

The cause of unmotivated aggression in children can even be the upbringing of parents. Excessive care or, on the contrary, its absence instills certain thoughts and emotions in the child. Dealing with this condition is not so easy, since in adolescence everything is perceived most acutely.

Aggression is based on gender differences in children. Thus, boys reach a special peak of aggressiveness at the age of 14-15 years. For girls, this period begins earlier, at 11 and 13. Aggression can arise as a result of not getting what they want or out of the blue. At this age, children believe that they are right, but their parents do not understand them. The result is aggressiveness, isolation and constant irritability. You shouldn’t put pressure on your child, but waiting until everything goes away on its own is also dangerous.

There are several main reasons why childhood aggression can develop. These include:

indifference or hostility on the part of parents;
loss of emotional connection with loved ones;
lack of respect for the child's needs;
excess or lack of attention;
denial of free space;
lack of opportunities for self-realization.

All this indicates that parents themselves are capable of creating the cause of aggression. The formation of character and personal qualities is carried out in childhood. Lack of proper upbringing is the first path to aggression. In some cases, specialized treatment is required aimed at suppressing negative emotions.

How passive aggression manifests itself in relationships

Social surveys indicate that 72% of respondents experienced manifestations of suppressed aggression in their direction. But, objectively, this percentage is much larger and tends to the Absolute, since this form of behavior has many faces. Moreover, you can easily recognize yourself as a passive aggressor. After all, each of us has resorted to manipulation in one situation or another.

Depending on the character traits of the manipulator, his opponent and the specific situation, passive aggression manifests itself in the following forms.

Devaluation and ridicule

No matter how important the problem you share with a person is for you, he will react to it as if it were a trifle. Are you very tired after a hard day at work? Don't make things up! Have you quarreled with your loved one again? News to me too! Have you had your wages cut? You won't become poor! Is this a problem? Often the aggressor uses sarcasm in conversation. And no sympathy. And no constructive advice.

Gaslighting

This is a form of psychological violence when the victim is convinced that something is wrong with her. Don't you like to cook? Yes, you just never had a normal relationship to want to cook for someone. Can't find your match? Not surprising, with such and such a character. The boss doesn’t appoint you to the promised position? So, for this you need, at a minimum, to work. The gaslighter's job is to make you doubt your own worth and adequacy. After all, it is much easier to defeat a morally broken person.

Trespassing

More often, older relatives resort to this method of manipulation, interfering in the personal life of the younger generation. A typical example is a “benevolent” mother-in-law who inadvertently enters the young family’s bedroom at the most inopportune moment. Or gives wise advice on how to conduct life, raise children, and distribute the family budget. Thus, hidden aggression demonstrates complete disrespect for a person and his absolute incompetence.

Ignoring the problem

Indifferently observing the suffering of a loved one is also a type of passive aggression. It often manifests itself in relation to relatives who are unable to fend for themselves. For example, a mother who knows that her child is being bullied at school, but does nothing. Or a mother who does not stand up for her child while the father uses physical methods of education on him. This is a silent crime, the gravity of which is as great as the one who directly commits it.

Boycott

Demonstrative refusal to communicate is practiced by everyone, from young to old. Despite the absence of active manifestations, the game of silence is a very powerful and destructive manipulation. At the same time, the person who declared a boycott is a priori considered offended, and therefore good. In fact, the so-called “offended and good” is also a sophisticated tormentor. He is perfectly aware of himself and patiently and methodically awaits his opponent’s capitulation. Unable to withstand moral pressure, the victim gives up and takes a step towards the quietly jubilant aggressor. And he, in turn, is convinced of the effectiveness of this method.

Double messages

When what is said is diametrically at odds with the true message. The aggressor may supposedly agree with you, but with all his appearance show the opposite. This technique is used to make the opponent himself no longer want to implement his plans. For example, a teenager tells his mother that he was invited to a school party. In turn, she, taking a deep breath, mutters: “Well, go, go. You deserve it...” And the child understands that if he goes to a party, upon returning home a dissatisfied mother will be waiting for him, ready to use the method from the previous paragraph as punishment.

Comparison in favor of others

It is used against relatives, friends, colleagues and anyone who, in the opinion of the aggressor, is not worthy of respect. It is expressed in poisonous remarks, where there is always room for a standard to which the victim can grow and grow.

Hidden clash of foreheads

Passive aggression sometimes manifests itself in the form of gossip in the spirit: “Do you know what he says about you...”. At the same time, their author knows that the objects of discussion can enter into open conflict because of gossip. In this way, the aggressor does his job with someone else’s hands.

How to deal with aggression

The first step is to reconsider your own life and, if possible, slow down its pace. A person constantly needs quality rest. Its absence and high loads provoke the risk of developing aggression. A person needs to learn to avoid stressful situations. You need to engage in introspection, understand what exactly causes negative emotions, and try to find a way out of the situation.

To control your own anger, you need to get enough sleep. Frequent lack of sleep provokes negative emotions in a person. It is advisable to drink soothing teas before bed; they promote relaxation. If you ignore irritability and do not seek the help of quality treatment, there is a risk of developing psychological problems and diseases. A feature of attacks of aggression is their sudden appearance and disappearance.

Usually, after an outburst of negative emotions, a person is tormented by a feeling of guilt and becomes depressed.

Therefore, it is important to control your own emotions and not bring aggression to its climax. However, it is also not recommended to constantly accumulate it; someday your patience will run out. And the risk of developing cardiovascular diseases is too great. You need to learn to control your own emotions. Finally, sedatives will come to the rescue. It’s enough to take the course and life will become much easier. However, a specialist must select high-quality treatment.