Hot temper is a tendency towards abnormal, excessive emotional manifestations, explosive reactions to ordinary stimuli, incontinence, and a predisposition to anger. This phenomenon is more often observed in men. Feminines are also prone to hot temper, but their version is often acted out through the position of the victim and is usually found in insults or hysterics. Hysteria and touchiness are considered female versions of hot temper. This concept is often referred to as bad character traits. This is not entirely true, since there are two variations of temper: justified and empty.
What is temper?
In the world of psychology, temper is an emotional incontinence and irritability that is characteristic of temperamental people. According to statistics, this feature predominates in men. Women can also have this character trait, but most often it is replaced by touchiness and hysteria.
People with a similar problem know what it’s like to be unable to contain what’s inside, but what causes such a reaction and what are the mechanisms of this process?
Let's start with the fact that, in principle, any manifestation of emotions in a person is a kind of response of the nervous system to a stimulus from the surrounding world. Among the most common reasons, they are accustomed to attributing only the character of a person, combined with his type of temperament, but in fact this is not entirely true. This list also includes:
- Nervous overstrain.
- Dissatisfaction with yourself.
- Dissatisfaction with life and circumstances.
- Low self-esteem.
- Excessive demands on yourself and others.
- Fear of the unknown.
These are the main reasons that provoke the development of hot temper. In the future, without measures to level it out, it will develop into a very stable character trait that will be almost impossible to eradicate.
Types of temper
This character trait is considered negative, but this is not entirely correct. There are two subtypes of it: the so-called “empty” irascibility and justified irascibility.
When a person “explodes” out of the blue for no apparent reason, this is an example of “empty” temper. This is an acquired persistent habit. Even taking into account genetic predisposition, a person cannot be born immediately hot-tempered.
The root of this problem is in childhood, when the baby is not yet able to control his emotions, such a reaction to unpleasant situations is quite common and, if parents do not level it out in time, it turns into a stable behavioral reaction. Another reason is the example of parents. After all, a child gains emotional experience by watching how the older generation acts in different situations. You can teach as much as you want how to behave, but children will observe what behavioral reactions you have, and not what you explain to them.
At the same time, there is another type - justified irascibility. A striking example is the violent reaction of superiors when a mentee made the same mistake several times in a row. If an employee has already been explained how to correctly perform a particular task, but he still fails, then what other reaction can be expected?
But do not find an excuse for yourself if such a reaction occurs quite often and mostly for no reason - this is clearly the previous subtype - “empty” temper. Even this example has its own nuances.
The same applies to relationships in couples. When you tell your partner one thing, do another, and even think about a third, you shouldn’t expect an adequate reaction? Any words you say are essentially an agreement between you and your significant other, and when you repeatedly violate them, you receive an appropriate reaction.
Impulsive temper disorder (IED)
Impulsive temper is characterized by periodic significant outbursts of aggression, manifested in an impulsive desire to throw, break and destroy, this often leads to attacks on people, causing them various injuries and/or injuries, damage to property (one’s own or someone else’s), which are not commensurate with external stress factors .
Individuals suffering from excessive impulsive temperament are considered difficult and problematic patients. Outbursts of rage usually do not last long (usually less than 30 minutes), but often (several times a month).
Recent studies have shown that impulsive temper disorder affects 6.3% of the population today. Impulsive temper disorder is more common and complex than previously thought. Based on the latest scientific research data, it has been proven that these conditions most often manifest themselves in people who abuse alcohol and take drugs; much less often, these conditions can be observed in various nervous breakdowns in the context of post-stress disorders or endogenous mental illnesses, including schizophrenia.
Impulsive temper disorder often co-occurs with other mental illnesses, including mood disorders and personality disorders, which undermines social relationships and work performance (primarily for the sufferers themselves).
Hot temper - typical characteristics
- Onset in childhood or adolescence (mean age 15), with mean duration ± 20 years
- Rapid onset of violent outbursts, often without a recognizable emotional antecedent
- The course is not long (< 30 minutes)
- Verbal abuse, physical attacks, usually in response to minor stimuli
- Some episodes may appear without identification provocation
Methods for leveling persistent “explosiveness”
It seems that we have sorted out the varieties and subtypes, but still, what to do if hot temper has become your main negative trait, and your emotions control you, and not you control them? – There are various self-soothing and relaxation techniques for this.
Each type of temper requires its own method of leveling. Let's start with unreasonable temper, which actually comes from childhood. This is the most severe type, which is very difficult to correct in adulthood. But thanks to perseverance and the direct participation of caring people around us, this is still possible.
If you are already reading this material and understand that you are noticing similar traits in your own child, do not rush to panic. It is much easier to correct the germs of temper at this age.
First of all, reconsider the format of education and your own reactions. In a family where love and care are combined with discipline, there is no talk of children’s temper at all. And, of course, analyze those examples of behavioral reactions that your child sees every day, if there is no way to get rid of them, just talk to the child in time and ask: “Look carefully, do you think this is the right way to behave? Will this solve the problem that has arisen? The child himself, with the help of your questions, must come to the right conclusion.
It’s a completely different matter when persistent traits of “empty” temper are inherent in an adult. If he understands that he has such a problem and is ready for changes, then with the support and understanding of others, everything can be corrected.
The first thing you need to do is learn to react differently. One option is to follow a clear plan:
1. Sit down, relax and close your eyes.
2. Imagine a situation in which you usually break down.
3. But now clearly imagine your alternative reaction to the same situation - calm and balanced, essentially the one that you would like to see in yourself.
That's all! Try to do this as often as possible and imagine a wide variety of situations that in the past caused a strong negative reaction. At first it will be difficult for you, sometimes you will have to go through the same situation several times until a new neutral and calm emotion takes hold. The essence of the method is that you build a new behavioral format, “re-educate” yourself. But it is important to realize that it will take quite a long time before it starts to take effect, with enough motivation - anything is possible.
In addition, you can create a so-called “psychological anchor” for yourself. It could be a pleasant little thing - a stone brought from the sea, a small gift from relatives, or any little thing dear to the heart. The point is to have the warmest emotions associated with it, so that it reminds you of a situation in which you were absolutely happy and balanced. It is important that you always have this thing, and when you feel like you are about to “explode”, just take it in your hands and concentrate on those very pleasant memories.
Analyze situations that cause anger
Observe yourself and try to identify the triggers that trigger aggressive impulses. This could be a specific word, phrase, some action in your direction. Analyze why such an inadequate reaction occurs. Most likely, the psyche turns on defense, trying to protect itself from something.
Let me give you an example. My friend couldn’t get pregnant for a long time, although she and her husband really wanted a child. She was very worried and suffered about this. When someone touched on the topic of motherhood in her presence, she could say something angrily, start swearing, and raise her voice. Then, naturally, she apologized and repented.
Knowing your pain points, you can prevent anger and save your own and other people's nerve cells. Ask your loved ones not to talk about certain topics in your presence. Avoid traumatic situations. And of course, take care of your mental health. If something “hurts” you, you need to work hard on it. If you can’t cope on your own, seek help from a psychologist. It will help you extract all your cockroaches from your subconscious and deal with them.
Preventive measures for acquired irascibility
If hot temper appeared in adulthood, for reasons that do not relate to established character traits, you should first find out what exactly became its trigger and work towards “neutralizing” it.
Accordingly, if temper has manifested itself through persistent long-term overexertion, it is worth stopping and finding time to rest, distract yourself with your favorite activity and take a break. In addition, if you have already noticed that your character changes under the influence of stress, it is worth undergoing a general examination of the body, because such symptoms can be manifestations of more serious physiological diseases.
Hot temper, which is provoked by low self-esteem and excessive demands on oneself, is leveled out with the help of the direct participation of loved ones. Share your insecurities with those you trust. Sometimes obvious things can be completely invisible to you, and an “extra” reminder that you are successful and have achieved significant success works better than any psychotherapy.
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If the reason for your temper lies in excessive demands on others, try to be more lenient with people. They are all different and cannot fall under your subjective standard.
It is important to realize that short temper is a problem that primarily harms yourself. You should not take the information presented as the idea that in general you need to be an emotionally neutral person, sometimes you need to defend your interests. But if your explosive nature prevents you and your family from communicating normally, then you can and should try to improve yourself a little.
How to overcome hot temper using simple methods?
In order to know how to overcome a temper, you need to learn that you should not allow any negative thoughts. If possible, don’t think about anything at all, or remember something pleasant and good. These simple methods are used by all professional psychologists, and recently by young girls too, to drive away all bad thoughts.
Play with your child - it gives an incredible release of emotion and charges you with positivity for several days ahead. Fly a kite, jump, run, play ball, pick flowers, play with your pet and your child. Playing helps relieve stress in your brain, which causes irritability and short temper.
Exercise, especially yoga. Researchers have long recognized that the latter helps control not only one’s actions, but also emotions. Physical exercise helps trigger happiness hormones from within, which will obviously make you feel happier.
Go visit, or rent a car or bike and ride to the nearest beach. Or you can go shopping if the weather does not allow you to go out into nature. If you feel like you're starting to get irritated just thinking about work, then maybe you should take a short three-day vacation and go somewhere together as a family. And it doesn’t have to be abroad or a beach; the nearest mountain, clearing or other beautiful place near you is quite suitable.
Talk to family and friends, especially those you haven't seen for a long time. They probably miss you very much, and a pleasant conversation will distract you from all sorts of irritants for a long time.
Sometimes the cause of hot temper and irritability is a simple lack of sleep. There is only one way out in such a situation - long and high-quality sleep. For many people, this is one of the best ways to overcome irritability. Perhaps this method will suit you too. As soon as you feel the first notes of irritation, the first thing you should do is just rest. And in the next situation, just sleep and you will see the effect when you wake up. It won't make you forget about the cause or irritant, but at least you will feel better.
It's better to spend your time producing all these things than wasting your time and nerves on annoying anyone.
