How to stop being kind?
Kindness is an internal state of a person.
You cannot sharply respond to accusations against yourself, you feel sorry for other people, and you are not able to refuse a request, even if you don’t want to fulfill it at all.
As a result, you experience internal discomfort and self-doubt increases.
To stop being kind, you need to want to change the qualities of your personality. This is not always easy, because character is formed throughout life. Perhaps your parents taught you as a child that you should not openly show your anger , you must love and respect everyone.
You can suddenly become angry when those around you suddenly betray you, you become disappointed in your loved ones, the situation gets out of control and you realize that people are taking advantage of your weak character without giving anything in return.
Stressful situations are not the best option for the psyche, but during such periods a person’s self-awareness and perception of reality changes. Psychological trauma is one of the reasons when a person begins to perceive the world and the people around him differently.
Patience comes to an end, and you set yourself the task of no longer being kind , stop being trouble-free and start living for your own pleasure.
Enrich your spiritual life
An active spiritual life will help you understand what you need when your problems seem to threaten to consume you. Find ways to become more spiritually aware and connected to the rest of the world. Doing yoga, meditating, participating in worship, and spending time in nature are all good ways to enrich yourself spiritually.
Is it worth becoming evil?
If your excessive kindness prevents you from living and achieving heights in your career, then it is definitely necessary to add anger to your character.
This does not mean that you should become completely evil and stop doing good deeds.
The main thing is to cultivate in yourself those character traits that will allow you to exist win-win in society and achieve your goals.
If you want to become evil, become evil, but you will have to go a long way to refract yourself and your attitudes.
It is likely that some people will turn away from you. You will refuse them, but they are not used to this. But these were energy vampires who took advantage of your gentleness and inability to refuse.
How to become tougher in character and achieve victories?
“Living means: constantly throwing away from yourself that which wants to die; to live means to be cruel and merciless to everything that becomes weak and old in us, and not only in us.” Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Kindness, generosity, politeness and courtesy are what we were taught from childhood. But if you are kind to everyone, you will be considered soft-hearted and weak-willed. The modern world requires strengthening character and showing fangs when required.
Why should you be tougher?
Rigidity will allow you to defend your interests, principles and opinions. This is more important than it seems at first glance. By defending your interests, you provide yourself with the best conditions in this situation. You don't miss your opportunities and chances.
Girls will find you more attractive. Girls often leave guys because they are spineless and weak-willed. And strong men, who can be bad, are always preferred by girls.
You will achieve your goal faster if you are tougher. Kind people often give way to others, allowing them to take their places and even take away what was rightfully yours. A tougher line of behavior allows you to wipe out your opponents yourself and achieve what you want.
How to look tougher?
If you want to change, you need to start with your appearance and demeanor. Strong and cruel people are easy to distinguish in a crowd. Their behavior and body language give them away. They look straight into the eyes and do not look away cowardly. They don't slouch or look stiff. A strong person behaves calmly, evenly and self-possessed. His voice is firm, loud and calm.
How to become tougher in character?
Start changing gradually. Start standing up for your interests at work and in life. Refuse people who try to shift their work to you. Say no to people who take advantage of you and try to ride on your neck.
Don't agree to help people right away, it may tie you up with obligations that you don't need. Say that you will give an answer later, when you have thought about it thoroughly. This will prevent you from rashly getting into unnecessary problems without the advice of an analysis. Don't become a victim and hostage to other people's problems. Focus on improving your life, not someone else's.
Be tougher and bolder in life. Defend your rights and interests. Don't be silent and don't be inactive. This is your life and no one will take care of you. Why do people who come from the countryside often achieve more than those from the city? They are tougher, rude and even arrogant at times. Go and take yours, and cowardly chew snot and don’t stand on the sidelines. In life, you have to push other people with your elbows if you want to achieve your goal, and not envy the winners. Only strong people achieve their goals and achieve their dreams.
Sport helps you become more confident, stronger and tougher. A strong body takes confidence, stamina and grit to the next level. With the growth of physical strength, internal confidence is calculated.
As one hero of the film “Rock and Rolla Man” from director Guy Ritchie said: “No, I have no inclination towards cruelty, but sometimes nothing works out without it.”
It is impossible to become tougher in one day, but it is quite possible in a few months. Get out of your comfort zone, fight back against bullies, take yours and win girls. Be tougher in character and achieve victories, otherwise there’s no other way...
What gives a person anger?
Anger gives you the ability to act and not be afraid of failure. You easily remove people from your environment with whom you do not want to communicate, and do not feel pangs of conscience about this .
Anger is necessary in the following cases:
- When you are attacked and you need to mobilize your forces to fight back. This applies to both physical and psychological attacks.
- If you need to break off a relationship, but you don't want to worry about it. Anger blocks the emotions of sadness, and you can more easily bear the fact that this person is no longer around.
- When you need to make your way in business or make a career.
Gentle people rarely reach high positions. It is difficult for them to break into entrepreneurship, since to fight competitors they also need a certain degree of anger. - When you realize that those around you are sitting on your neck. You no longer want to be the one who helps everyone without getting anything in return.
- Anger allows you to be bolder.
Innate human aggressiveness
The process of evolution is often cruel, heartless and aggressive. There are no morals here, good or bad. It all comes down to just one choice: survive or die. Nature doesn’t care about your spiritual qualities and beauty. She judges according to completely different laws, the severity of which we have long become accustomed to. Charles Darwin argued that the strongest and those who learn to adapt survive. But it's not only that. Man is the winner of the evolutionary race. But how could he conquer the planet being so weak?
“We became the rulers of the Earth not because we were the smartest, and not even because we were the most evil. No, the reason is that in the jungle we were the craziest, most bloodthirsty sons of bitches." Stephen King
We win when we are not afraid to be aggressive and crazy. The winners are cruel, insane and dangerous. They have no boundaries or restrictions. But the winners are not judged, and the losers do not write history and do not remain in it further. Do you want to achieve what you want, achieve your goals, implement your plans and beat your competitors? Awaken your natural aggression. Those who could gnaw the enemy's throat always survived. It was their barbaric and brutal genes that reached you.
Several thousand years of civilization are behind us, but we remain a little wild animals. All our civilization and good manners quickly disappear the moment we are exposed to the slightest risk. It doesn't even take scratching to expose our innate aggression. People willingly sink their fangs into the throat of an opponent if he crosses their path or encroaches on prey.
Most people hide their bestial nature, trying to be cultured and civilized. Others don’t even disguise themselves or hide their innate inner warrior. We are all wild and aggressive if you look closely. But if you try to be kind, others eat you up before they can show their fangs and strike back. Do you want to be a leader and a winner? Be aggressive.
Quino Al, Unsplash
Is it possible to cultivate anger for your own benefit?
Excessive anger is the presence of negative emotions. Therefore, when trying to change your character, you need to do it in such a way that you begin to feel better.
How to become angry and cruel ? If you want to dramatically change your character, pay attention to the following tips:
- Understand the main rule - you don’t owe anyone anything , just like other people don’t owe you anything.
- Do what you want . Forget about the opinions of others.
- Stop answering yes . This fact will be very surprising to those around you, because before you have always helped them. Perhaps someone will be offended. But you take this with cold indifference - you have your own affairs and problems, and you must take care of them first.
- Develop self -confidence .
- You are a unique, inimitable person , no one has the right to influence your opinion.
- Learn to defend your opinion .
Speech must be confident, with clear pronunciation of words. Say what you think, don’t be afraid to express your opinion, arguing that the person will be offended. You are not responsible for other people's emotions, and you can say what you think. Please note that sometimes this leads to conflicts; be prepared for such a turn of events.
How to become angry and aggressive ? For a man, anger is more necessary than for the fair sex.
How to help yourself cultivate anger:
- competitive sport Go to wrestling and boxing classes.
- Create a daily routine for yourself , discipline yourself - this makes it easier to move into your new state.
- Eat right. Eating plenty of plant foods reduces anger levels. Eat red meat and fish. Nutrition should be complete. The inclusion of dairy products and eggs is beneficial. If your food lacks vitamins, it is recommended to use special supplements.
- Be persistent in achieving your goals. Don’t give up if the other person is aggressive towards you, show persistence and determination.
- Learn the gestures and postures of confidence - squared shoulders, straight back, raised head, direct and long gaze.
When you force yourself to look like a confident person, your body gets used to it. Postures and gestures send a signal to the brain, which also helps increase self-confidence. - Watch action movies , pay attention to how confident people behave.
- Practice aggressive facial expressions in front of the mirror - gaze, frowning eyebrows, pursed lips, tense facial muscles.
- Speak clearly and clearly. In this case, the emphasis is not so much on volume, but on how correctly you formulate your thoughts and confidently pronounce your words.
- Be prepared to defend your opinion .
- Remove words of uncertainty from your speech : I don’t know, maybe let’s try. Your thoughts must be expressed confidently.
- Learn to say no . How often do your friends ask you to be a driver on trips to nature, your boss gives you tasks beyond what you are supposed to, your friends ask for a loan and are in no hurry to give? Say “no”, but it is not at all necessary to justify your refusal.
Don't compare yourself to other people
It's a rabbit hole that many of us fall down again and again, but comparing yourself to others undermines your self-esteem. The next time you are faced with making a decision, look within yourself. Learn to say no. People will respect your opinion more if you say what you really think. Always look them in the eye when you say no so they know you are confident in your decision. This point may be the answer to the question of how to become a tough person.
How to show your anger correctly?
Having learned to arouse anger in yourself, you will have to learn to control .
It is better if the anger is directed at the situation and not at the person.
Try not to use physical violence - this is a criminal offense, and the consequences for you may be unpredictable in the form of injuries.
Anger is the level of intensity of emotions; they need to be thrown out in order for there to be a release.
Learn rhetoric skills. Don't stoop to insults or personalities. You must let the person know that you are angry, but at the same time you maintain self-control and the situation is in your hands.
Controlled anger allows you to take a leadership position, but at the same time it still needs to be maintained. This is effective when other methods no longer work, and you need to be the first and manage, for example, a group of people.
Anger gives you self-confidence, but you need to know how to use it .
The best option is when you outwardly show emotion, but at the same time you know when to stop and are in complete control of your state.
That is, people think that you are angry and obey you out of fear of punishment , while you remain cool and reasonable. This is one of the successful ways to manipulate other members of society.
Make strong connections with other people
There is power in numbers. It's easier to build a wall around yourself than to reach out and create deep relationships with other people. Earning and maintaining people's trust is no easy feat. It may sound strange, but showing vulnerability in front of others is actually an important part of being tough. Show your family, friends and colleagues that you deserve their trust and love. Answer emails and calls quickly and be there for people when you need it. Take on a leadership role in your community. You can dedicate your time to helping others, coaching a small team - say, at work or at the recreational level. Place a bet in your community!
How to direct it in the right direction?
Do you feel angry too often? Do its manifestations interfere with your life and cause conflicts? Negative emotions must be redirected .
The best way to discharge energy is physical activity. Do a few push-ups, hit a punching bag, dance.
You can get rid of negativity by telling your opponent what you think about the situation . If you think you are right, do not hold back your emotions too much, but try to keep them under control.
Do you often have to express your anger? How does this make you feel? Your blood pressure is probably rising, you feel excited, want to speak out or express your anger physically.
After an outburst of anger, you feel tired, and sometimes the irritation persists for a long time. Negative emotions affect your overall well-being. If manifestations of anger occur regularly, there is no room for positive emotions. That is why anger must be redirected to other objects.
- Think about what prevents you from openly expressing your anger. Perhaps you have some complexes or restrictions, you are afraid that people will see your emotions;
- don't try to hide your anger. By driving it deep into yourself, you destroy your own body;
- clarify the relationship to the end. Don't leave the problem unresolved, otherwise the situation will happen again;
- think about what will happen if you remain silent and do not react to the situation. How this will affect your relationships with people and your sense of self. Sometimes it is useful to express your own opinion, but try to do it in a calm manner;
- forget about the feeling of guilt. You have the right not to hide your feelings and express them openly, the main thing is to do so that it does not greatly harm the people around you;
- don't try to control other people, take care of your own condition.
If you often feel angry, it means that your psyche is not harmonious enough. Work on building your character and showing your emotions.
Controlled anger is more beneficial. You can show your anger to other people while remaining completely calm inside .
Look problems in the eye
Don't try to avoid difficulties by running away or pretending they don't exist. The ability to “face” reality will help you make practical decisions that will ultimately lead to positive change. If you bury your head in the sand, problems will only accumulate. Resist the temptation to ignore problems by indulging in escapist behavior. Drinking alcohol, sitting in front of TV in the evenings, sleepless nights on the Internet, gambling and other similar forms of destructive behavior will distort the view of reality.
Cultivate selfishness
An insensitive person should not care about anything. Stop paying attention to the events that happen in the lives of friends and loved ones, stop taking part in improving their personal lives, and so on. Again, this is none of your business. In the end, you will be indifferent to everything, you will develop an egoist in yourself, the world will revolve only around you.
It will be difficult at first, but conscience and shame will quickly leave you. Do only what benefits you, make contacts only if you need them, look down on people and go over their heads. Nothing should stop you from achieving your goal. Especially if it’s someone else’s problem. This doesn't concern you.
But do you need it?
But think carefully, do you need it? Is the game worth the candle? Perhaps you were offended, touched to the quick, or acted wrongly? But is it worth becoming insensitive just because of this? We often think about this when we feel bad. But when we really feel good, no one thinks about how to get rid of the feelings that overwhelm us? No one is trying to suppress pleasant memories, is they?
Perhaps it is better to just reconcile and forgive your offenders. Time cures. Look at everything differently, from the best side. Look how much good there is around, how many good, pleasant people, how many opportunities to change your life. Don't go to extremes right away.
Learn to say "NO"
How often do people ask you for help? How often do you answer “No”? Perhaps you are one of those people who, at the first request, will drop everything they are doing and will solve the problems of colleagues, acquaintances, and friends? Then everything is bad. You urgently need to change your life!
Learn to say “No” if it is not beneficial for you. Learn to refuse, even if the person really needs help. After all, it's not your problem, right?
But there is one more point to consider. Suppose you did help the person, what next? Perhaps you will experience strong positive emotions from the fact that you did a good deed and helped a person. But do you need it? After all, it is possible that feelings will cause attachment to a person, or the person will be very attached to you. Such “joy” is of no use to a cold-blooded person. Mind your own business, and if it is not beneficial to you personally, always refuse help.
