Sensitive people are very emotional about the problems and troubles they encounter in everyday life. This applies not only to events affecting them personally or loved ones. Even negative news about complete strangers resonates with them, causing a strong sense of empathy.
All people, in one way or another, react to the negative events they encounter. It’s just that one category of people does not pay special attention to this, and the second category plunges headlong into problems, bringing themselves to a state of stress and depression. This hypersensitivity interferes with normal quality of life. A person constantly experiences a feeling of oppression, painfully perceives criticism addressed to him and is offended even by minor remarks.
Psychology explains how to stop taking everything to heart and learn to live a full life. After all, this problem interferes with building relationships both in family life and at work. It is difficult to build a career if the boss does not see strong character and will in his subordinate.
How to stop taking everything to heart: 20 best tips from a psychologist
You can always learn to live a stress-free life by following simple rules that will allow you to not react so sharply and painfully to the surrounding reality.
So, how to learn not to take everything to heart: psychologists advise:
- You need to try to understand that all troubles are a stage of life that you just need to wait out. Sooner or later everything will return to normal. Every person experiences negative situations in life from time to time; it is necessary to withstand them steadfastly, without plunging into a state of chronic melancholy.
- It is important to realize that excessive emotionality does not help much in solving problems. You need to find the strength to find ways out of the current situation and not hide from problems, hoping that someone else will make an important decision.
- A person’s attempts to be ideal for everyone lead to the fact that he withdraws into himself, experiencing acute disappointment and dissatisfaction with himself. Each person is an individual with positive and negative character traits.
- Passive behavior in a critical situation will never lead to a positive outcome. One must not be afraid to take the initiative, so as not to later regret the lack of will.
- Do not confuse initiative with demandingness. Being too demanding will not help turn the situation in your favor; it is important to understand and soberly assess the degree of influence on others.
- You need to live in a measured rhythm. Trying to do as much as possible creates tension. Sometimes you can allow yourself to relax and do nothing.
- It is necessary to listen to the requirements of the body. Good sleep, proper nutrition and daily routine will help maintain psycho-emotional balance.
- When faced with negativity, you should not give in to despair and fall into a depressive state, believing that this is a normal reaction to troubles. It is necessary to accept negative situations as a challenge to life experience.
- A good mood will help you survive all the disappointments that any person has to face. You need to spend more time with friends and loved ones. Positive emotions are a great way to combat stress and depression.
- You should not accumulate feelings and experiences within yourself. Emotions must have an outlet, no matter whether they are positive or negative.
- It is important to be able to plan your life, and not live only for today. Achieving pre-set goals is always motivating. Don’t set the bar too high, overestimating your capabilities, otherwise disappointment will be inevitable and painful.
- Know and understand that relationships need to be built, and often this is hard work. This applies to relationships in the family, as well as with friends or colleagues.
- It is necessary to clearly plan your time. In addition to time for work and family, a few hours a week should be allocated to socializing with friends or pursuing hobbies.
- The desire to find an alternative makes life much easier. After all, there are always several ways out of any situation and you need to be able to find them. This will give you a sense of control over the situation, which brings a sense of calm.
- Even a not very pleasant situation should be perceived as gaining new life experience and try to benefit from it.
- It is important to always strive to develop intellectual abilities. With an interesting interlocutor, others will seek communication, which increases self-esteem.
- Establish for yourself certain criteria of moral behavior and morality - following them will give a person a feeling of self-confidence.
- You should develop not only intellectually, but also spiritually. However, without going to extremes, it is enough to learn to see the beauty of the surrounding nature, get carried away by music or painting.
- React calmly and even with humor to failures, understanding that they are inevitable. Do not reproach yourself, believing that the wrong decision was made initially, the state of affairs simply turned out in an unforeseen way. We need to draw conclusions and continue to move towards the goal.
- The main rule is to love yourself. Praise yourself, pamper yourself, without waiting for mercy from others. A person who is too critical of himself will never receive love and recognition from society.
By adhering to these rules, you can minimize all the negativity of the situation, which guarantees peace of mind.
Take responsibility for your thoughts and emotions
You are fully responsible for the state of your inner world. And if any aspect of it is unbalanced, you can always correct it. You have the most powerful influence over yourself, and this power is much stronger than the influence of other people.
Once you decide to be responsible for your feelings, you free yourself from the influence of others. When you are confident in who you are and how you want to feel, it will be very difficult for other people to upset your peace of mind.
Make conscious choices and make your life better. Choose for yourself only those situations that increase the amount of your positive energy.
Learn to love yourself, and then you will definitely find the strength to say “no” when necessary. You can easily leave the company of people that does not suit you.
Remember that you are responsible for your life. Do it for yourself, and do it well!
How can highly sensitive people make their lives easier?
Highly sensitive people often hold leadership positions. Their slight emotional excitability can hinder them if they show weakness of character, therefore it is important to always remain a strong and strong-willed person.
To make their life easier, such people need to firmly know their goals and maintain strict self-discipline. Their immoderate passion, the desire to achieve a goal by any means must be restrained by cold calculation and a sober assessment of the situation. Psychologists advise such people not to take failure to heart, but to try to find a different approach to solving the problem. After all, sensitive people are usually creatively developed individuals, and they are able to find a solution to a problem that others simply do not notice.
How to get away from negative experiences?
Everyday stress has become a part of life. Having woken up, the person has already prepared himself for the worst. At such moments, psychologists recommend auto-training classes - positive self-hypnosis. There is always a way out of any situation, although it may not always suit you. Control emotions through relaxation. Everyone chooses their own direction:
- soothing music;
- sounds of nature;
- breathing exercises;
- exercise stress;
- a walk to your favorite places;
- describe the condition on paper;
- take a cold shower.
The psycho-emotional and physical state suffers from stress and irritation. Highly sensitive people become depressed. The first signs of uncharacteristic behavior are noticed by relatives, and assistance falls on their shoulders. The problem is clarified through a properly structured dialogue. Close people become sincere allies. This attitude helps restore confidence and desire to cope with the problem.
How to get a person out of depression: advice from a psychologist
As soon as the first signs of depression are observed, you need to start taking action. After all, the sooner help is provided, the easier and faster a person gets out of this state. Usually this task falls on the shoulders of a loved one, who is able to notice the uncharacteristic behavior of a person under stress.
The first step is to identify the problem that led to depression and sadness. This is clarified in a correctly constructed dialogue in which a person is able to open up.
After finding out the reason, it is important to provide every possible support and become a sincere ally. Empathy and support give a person suffering from depression the feeling that he is not left alone with his problem. He opens up more and begins to feel confident and willing to solve the problem.
However, these methods help in cases of mild nervous disorder. A patient's severe, prolonged form of depression should be diagnosed and treated by a competent psychologist, using a variety of psychological techniques. Often this process is quite long and difficult. You should contact an experienced specialist, for example, psychologist-hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin.
Where does the strength go?
Perception is action and it requires effort. Therefore, each person unconsciously learns selective perception, missing thousands of events and phenomena every day - this is an example of rational use of resources. Different people spend different amounts of energy and mental strength on what we do perceive. Those who are very susceptible spend exorbitantly, simply because that’s how we are designed. For example, after an evening in a large company, where everyone wanted to talk to me, and I refused no one, I feel the same loss of strength as after a whole day of very intense work, even if the topics for communication were standard and easy.
Hence the first rule: you need to learn conscious selectivity
. Calculate your strengths and do not force yourself to communicate if you don’t want to, and especially with those with whom you don’t want to, because this is a direct path to an emotional hole and physical ailments. Choose to communicate with those who are pleasant and interesting to you; you can put mental “stubs” from the rest: visualize a wall between yourself and unwanted interlocutors (as well as just those around you) with the feeling that you are safe and nothing unwanted will penetrate here. Instead of a wall there can be a transparent sphere, an aquarium, or even a hedge - as long as it works.
Learn to switch off, step back
. Unconsciously, this happens to us all the time - if our consciousness is already overloaded with information, impressions, emotions, we withdraw into ourselves and fall out of the context of what is happening. From the outside, a receptive person in this case looks as if he is in a state of deep trance. If it is not possible to leave physically, go inside yourself or, conversely, expand beyond the limits of your consciousness and look at everything from the outside, including yourself.
Learn to step away
from unnecessary emotions and experiences - an excellent practice for people with increased sensitivity.
If you have already let something unnecessary into yourself that has a negative effect, you can avoid getting involved in such states by observing them from the outside, realizing where it came from, and making a conscious choice not to experience
this emotion. After some time, she will disappear on her own, deprived of your attention.
How to properly respond to rudeness?
Psychologists believe that boors are dissatisfied people who are under constant pressure in the family or at work. And rudeness is a way to somehow throw out the accumulated tension. Also, rudeness is banal bad manners, and to reciprocate a boor means to recognize oneself as the same. However, not answering means showing weakness and then reproaching yourself for not being able to stand up for yourself. Suspicious people can, after an altercation, bring themselves to a state of stress, suffering mental anguish.
How not to take everything to heart - advice from a psychologist:
- realize your dignity and moral superiority, do not follow the lead of a rude person and do not succumb to provocations;
- understand that the boor's words have no personal meaning. They are not a negative attitude towards a specific person, but express his attitude towards life in general;
- if a person is rude, it speaks of helplessness and complexes. To answer him with rudeness is to admit your own weakness;
- in a conversation with a boor, you need to use non-verbal signals to make it clear that he is no better than others, this will make him retreat.
However, sensitive people, especially those who were often criticized in childhood, feel inner emptiness after a confrontation. Such people have a shaken psyche, and to find peace of mind, psychologists advise not to worry about everything in yourself, but to seek help from a specialist.
I worry about everything, I let all situations go through me
Olga
I worry about everything all my life...
Your whole life is as long as you can remember? The fact is that now, when you are already an adult, have experience, you find justifications, explanations, reasons for your experiences. And you call them experiences now. But most likely they appeared when you could not explain them to yourself, consciousness was not formed, there was no experience that the brain would remember. And then they could be called “anxiety”, “worry”, “tension”. In some other words. It is obvious that the environment in which you grew up and developed influenced this state and supported it. It has become familiar to you. Or maybe there was a specific situation that caused a shock trauma that you could not digest. One way or another, it’s difficult for you to live worrying. But you don’t know how to live any other way.
Olga
I beat myself up about everything
Well, it’s not always that people say rude words to you, or you say them, or the work environment is too work-related, or you’re getting married. During periods when everything is relatively calm, the brain stimulates anxiety with fantasies about heat, future and possible fears, interference, etc.
All for the same reason. You identify yourself in the usual way - as a person who is afraid and responsible even for the weather. Obviously, this is the only way for you to expend energy, feel alive, establish contact with people around you, and even with yourself.
Olga
There is no more strength.
Strength usually runs out because a person is tired of resisting and fighting. Most likely, you internally resist your anxiety. You try not to notice it, deny it, suppress it, you are ashamed and scold yourself for it. Energy is spent primarily on this, and not on anxiety itself. If you allowed yourself to enter into it, with the support of another, then this experience would come to an end, and you would have a new experience.
Olga
How to get rid of this?
Return to the source of this state, accept yourself in this, allow yourself this experience to the fullest, assimilate the experience of this experience. When the energy from completing such a process is released, a person, as a rule, becomes at ease, he can afford a lot, be bolder, lighter, more relaxed. Creative possibilities open up.
But this process is practically possible only when working with a psychologist.
All the best!
I worry about everything (1 answer)
Anzhelika Stankevich, Dialogue-phenomenological direction, Skype.
Good answer2 Bad answer1
How to learn to protect yourself from negativity in everyday life?
To learn not to perceive negativity from people around you, you need to understand what causes strong feelings and protect yourself from them. Often this is forced communication with unpleasant people, which a person cannot limit for a number of reasons. Advice from a psychologist on how to build psychological defense and stop taking everything to heart when dealing with an unpleasant person at work:
- build clear boundaries of communication without going beyond business relationships;
- do not succumb to provocation and do not lose your temper, because this is what they are trying to achieve;
- abstract yourself from the opinion of an unpleasant person;
- do not try to change a negative personality, this will only make the situation worse;
- After being forced to communicate with an unpleasant person, it is important to relieve psychological stress. Everyone has their own methods - eat a delicious cake, watch a good movie, go fishing. It is important to have a good rest and distraction.
However, some people are designed in such a way that the negativity lies within themselves. Self-criticism brings more trouble than communicating with emotionally difficult people. It is important to understand yourself, analyze your behavior and attitude towards life, and it will turn out that there are not many unpleasant personalities in your immediate environment.
How to protect yourself from negative information: 5 techniques
Detox.
Informational, of course. Turn off recommendations in your browser, have a weekend without the Internet, don’t read crime reports, switch gears where showdowns are constantly happening.
By the way, if you are so drawn to tin, you will have to admit that negativity awakens base feelings in you. If you don’t want to become a carrier of negative energy, I recommend that you avoid savoring the details.
Better watch more comedies. Plus videos and programs that offer solutions to problems, rather than escalate the situation. And pay attention to your surroundings: eliminate communication with toxic people.
Wall, cap or theatrical performance.
Negativity comes at us not only from TV, social networks or from acquaintances with whom it is easy not to communicate. For example, at work, on public transport and even in the family, limiting contacts is much more difficult. This method will help here: build an invisible wall or hide under a transparent cap.
Mentally protect yourself from the source of negative energy and try to observe everything from the outside. Imagine that your hubcap does not allow sound to pass through. It seems like there is an association with the theater. Imagine that you are just a spectator, and in front of you are actors who disgustingly play their roles.
Of course, if you are directly involved in a conflict, for example, with a loved one, you will have to resolve the controversial situation. It is important to find common ground and try to settle the quarrel. And in the future, try to prevent such situations.
Safe word.
If you are often visited by obsessive thoughts or you are fixated on the bad and can no longer think about anything else, this method is perfect. For example, you endlessly repeat a recent unpleasant conversation in your head, some terrible event from the news, etc.
As soon as you catch yourself thinking such thoughts, say: “Stop! Life goes on,” and consciously switch your attention. You can come up with any word and immediately get distracted.
You need to practice, it will be difficult at first. But then you will easily switch to the positive. After all, life really does go on. Will these experiences be so important to you in a year or five years?
Breathing practice.
As soon as you notice that you are too anxious in a depressed state, you are experiencing anxiety for no apparent reason - take a deep breath, hold your breath for 5 seconds and exhale. Repeat several times.
Or choose any other breathing practice. Working with breathing helps stop panic attacks and get rid of fear. Be sure to concentrate on inhaling and exhaling - this clears your mind.
Removing muscle blocks.
It also helps to get rid of negative thoughts and get rid of anxiety. For example, you can do the following exercise: bend your elbows, clench your fists, tense your muscles, then sharply relax them and lower them down as you exhale, as if “dropping” them. Repeat at least 5 times.
Stretching, yoga, meditation, dancing, whatever suits you best, also helps. At our Summer Camp we have a whole range of special energy practices that combine all types of relaxation exercises at once. They are designed to improve your body and spirit, give you vigor and relaxation, and clear your thoughts. Come and live to the fullest without unnecessary worries.
Here's how to limit the negative impact of information. Introduce new habits and you will see results. And right now I recommend reading how to get the best out of life. And look into the “Women's Purpose” section so as not to lose yourself in routine and stress.
How do you usually cope with the flow of negativity? Share your methods in the comments.
