Heal the soul through the body. How understanding psychosomatic mechanisms will help you get rid of frustration and become happier

Frustration - what does it mean? Imagine that you have been waiting for a concert of your favorite artist for a long time. We took time off from work, bought tickets in advance, and made plans to meet with friends. And suddenly the boss decides that you definitely need to be in the office on this day. How will you feel when you hear this news? Surely it will be disappointment, anger, helplessness and severe resentment. This state is called frustration. Why is it developing? And how to deal with it?

What is frustration - definition in psychology

Frustration is a mental state that occurs when a person, for some reason, cannot satisfy his need or fulfill his desire. In this case, the obstacle is external circumstances or internal reasons.

Frustration occurs under the following conditions:

  1. An individual has a need or desire that he plans to satisfy.
  2. An action plan has been drawn up in advance, explaining how and what is best to do.
  3. On the way to realizing your plans, external or internal obstacles arise, sometimes insurmountable.

In short, by definition in psychology, frustration is a typical reaction to disappointment, unrealistic hopes, and the impossibility of self-realization. All these situations are called frustration. Obstacles that arise on a person’s path are called frustrators or frustrating influences. The reaction to frustration is frustration tension. The higher it is, the more difficult it is for an individual to adapt to new conditions. At this moment, the body’s psychophysiological reserves work at full capacity, which ultimately leads to moral and physical exhaustion.

The state of frustration largely depends on how strong a person’s psyche is. Therefore, it manifests itself in different ways. Someone experiences slight sadness and annoyance. Others face unbearable suffering. In both cases the emotions are negative.

The development of frustration, the strength of sensations and their duration are determined by two factors:

  1. How important was a goal for a person that he was unable to achieve, or an unmet need. Let's give an example. Let’s say a girl didn’t have time to go to the store, which is why she didn’t buy a new dress for an important meeting. Or a married couple, dreaming of children for a long time, once again encountered failure with IVF. There will be experiences in both cases. But in the second, the state of frustration will be many times stronger.
  2. Psychological state of a person. Does he know how to find a way out of critical situations, does he have leadership qualities, can he soberly assess the situation and make decisions.

The types of reactions to frustration in the described cases vary. The meaning of the word “frustration” in Greek is the collapse of hopes. So, being disappointed, a person can completely abandon an unattained goal or need. This is one option. There are two others:

  • change the goal while maintaining available resources;
  • still go forward, simultaneously finding ways to get around the obstacles that stand in the way.

In simple terms, the concept of frustration arises when a person is simply unable to change circumstances. Let's go back to the example with the girl who didn't have time to go to the store. But there are also others that she can stop by before the meeting. This means that she has nothing to worry about. But in the case of the inability to give birth to a child, the situation is more complicated. Here, frustration refers to insurmountable obstacles that are almost impossible to eliminate.

Reactions to frustration

Depending on the characteristics of the human psyche, psychologists distinguish the following types of reactions to frustration:

  1. Aggression . This is the most common reaction, manifested by active action to overcome difficulties, necessary for the survival of the human species. That is, this is an attack or a desire to attack on one’s own initiative.
  2. Retreat and departure . It can manifest itself both physically (retiring in front of a stronger opponent) and psychologically (admitting one’s loss).
  3. Regression . A type of reaction of rollback to a simpler (often infantile) pattern of behavior formed in the mind earlier.

Theories of frustration

The state of frustration has always been a lively discussion in the world of psychology. This has led to several related theories.

D. Dollard's theory

According to this theory of frustration, it is closely related to aggression. The nature of this emotion has been studied by many scientists. And here's what they found out:

  1. Biologists believe that the gene for aggressiveness is inherent in a person from the moment he is born. In men, due to the greater amount of testosterone, it manifests itself more strongly, and in women it is weaker.
  2. Sigmund Freud said that aggression indicates self-destruction and that a person is not satisfied sexually.
  3. Sociologists are confident that the reason for aggressive behavior lies in relationships within the family.

As for Dollard's theory, it says that aggression invariably brings with it experiences and vice versa. The strength of aggression directly depends on the significance of the unachieved goal and the difficulty that stood in the way of achieving it. But this is not the most interesting thing. According to the scientist, this negative emotion is directed not at obstacles or circumstances, but at those people who have nothing to do with them.

What factors should be excluded?

To a large extent, the occurrence of such a state depends on individual personal qualities: the ability to accept reality, the real perception of the world.

The following events lead to frustration:

  1. A sequence of debilitating stress. Even a strong person stops believing in his own strength.
  2. Constant minor troubles and failures can cause frustration. There is a particular danger for people with low self-esteem. Each subsequent small negative event leads to a persistent feeling of “trouble.”

Women are more susceptible to internal frustration. Due to their increased emotionality, receptivity, sensitivity, and inability to overcome difficult life situations without consequences for their emotional state. This is often accompanied by despondency, tears, irritability and even depression.

Women may experience a particular aggravation of their emotional state, and as a result, frequent occurrence of frustration, during menopause. Read our article and find out everything about menopause.

A simple example: in the morning a child begins to be capricious and resists getting ready for kindergarten. But parents are late for work, the result is frustration.

When situations are repeated, frustration becomes persistent and stress levels become destructive over time.

Signs of frustration

Signs of frustration do not always manifest themselves in full force, so this condition often goes unnoticed. But it is still possible to diagnose it.

So, the following symptoms are characteristic of frustration:

  1. Focus on the problem situation. A person cannot think about anything else, which is why he ignores what is happening in other areas of life.
  2. Helplessness, hopelessness. The individual realizes that he needs to be distracted, but he is not able to do this.
  3. An ongoing feeling of inner anxiety, melancholy. It seems that life has lost its colors. All this provokes the development of a depressive state.
  4. Decreased performance, laziness, apathy. The desire to do anything completely disappears. Motivation goes away along with it.
  5. Low self-esteem, guilt, lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities.

To the listed signs of frustration one can add indulgence, isolation, and refusal of any contact with the world.

Consequences of frustration

Psychologists view the concept of frustration in a neutral way. This state of mind, depending on a number of factors, can lead to different consequences:

  1. Positive . For a healthy person, overcoming obstacles can serve as an incentive for further development, searching for new ways to achieve goals, changing desires, and so on.
  2. Negative . Under certain conditions, a person is not able to adequately respond to current circumstances. He can show socially dangerous aggression towards other people or himself, or he can go into the world of illusions and fantasies and experience chronic stress. All this leads to feelings of guilt, inferiority complex, depression and other severe mental conditions.

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Causes

Conventionally, the causes of frustration are divided into 3 groups:

  1. Social, moral, ethical. In any of his actions, a person takes into account social norms or even his own concepts of what is good and what is bad. An example is sexual dissatisfaction associated with the widespread belief that one should not enter into intimate relationships before marriage.
  2. Physical, biological. Let's give a simple example of frustration. You planned a serious event, but suddenly you broke your leg and ended up in the hospital. You wanted to carry out your plans, but circumstances played against you.
  3. Psychological. An individual cannot achieve a goal due to the fact that he considers himself not strong enough, smart enough, etc. He suffers from low self-esteem, some fears, and complexes.

Also, reasons can be divided into external and internal. The first include improper upbringing, frequent conflicts, dissatisfaction with the place occupied in society. The internal reasons for the development of frustration are contradictions in the process of setting goals. Thus, a person can try to simultaneously satisfy desires that are opposite to each other. One will be fulfilled, but the second, accordingly, will not. This is how frustration arises.

Deprivation and frustration

The states of deprivation and frustration are sometimes confused, but they are different. Frustration occurs when achieving a goal is not possible and desires are not satisfied. Deprivation occurs when achieving a goal is impossible in principle; a person is deprived of the opportunity to satisfy his needs. Deprivation is a more complex and destructive condition. When deprived, a person develops deep dissatisfaction with his life. Psychologists say that frustration and deprivation have a common mechanism, but they are different concepts.

Forms

In psychology, there are 3 forms of frustration. The first is extrapunitive. What it is? This is a state when a person believes that circumstances and the people around him are to blame for his failures. He shows aggression towards them and at the same time strives to achieve his goal. It is not possible to achieve what you want, therefore, aggression, as well as frustration in general, intensifies.

The second form is called intrapunitive. It means that a person focuses on himself as the cause of failure. He becomes withdrawn, depressed, and anxious. Added to these negative emotions is a loss of meaning in life and complete apathy. The individual cannot perform even simple everyday activities, in particular, take care of the house and himself.

And finally, the third form of frustration is impunitive. A person shows complete indifference to the difficulties along his path, or considers them fate, predestination. He does not blame anyone for failures, but simply gives up desires and needs or switches to something else.

Forms of frustration

Depending on the character of a person, the meaning of frustration can be manifested in different patterns of behavior:

  1. The extrapunitive
    model involves blaming the failures of other people and external circumstances, fixing a negative reaction to them. For example, sexual frustration manifests itself in aggression towards a sexual partner, accusations of unattractiveness or incompetence.
  2. Intrapunitive
    , or model in which a person fixates on his individual characteristics as reasons for failure.
  3. Impunitive
    . With this approach, failure is perceived as a turn of fate, and the fatalism of events is considered. At the same time, the person does not dwell on failure, continues to act or changes the goal.

Types of frustration

Types of frustration differ from each other in the area of ​​life in which a person was unable to get what he wanted. There are several of them.

Love and sexy

The first appears in cases where there is a break in relationships or some serious problems. Without receiving reciprocal feelings, a person experiences an increase in his attraction to the object of passion. Such an emotional outburst sometimes leads to inappropriate behavior, manifested in an obsessive desire to meet or even violence.

Frustration looks almost the same in existing families, when one of the partners does not receive from the other what he needs, for example, attention. The lack of what you want causes a lot of negative emotions. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship there is in the family.

As for the intimate sphere, frustration here is not much different from love. Without receiving satisfaction, the partner becomes aggressive and irritable.

Social

Social frustration occurs in cases where there are conflict situations in relationships with society. It appears if a person cannot get the desired position, social status, the opportunity to study at the chosen educational institution, etc.

It is worth noting that diseases that limit mental and physical activity are also involved in the development of social frustration.

Frustration of needs

We are talking about Maslow's pyramid of needs mentioned above. Failures and mistakes are not needed to develop this type of frustration. It occurs after the need is satisfied. Why? Because the individual faces a new goal. And so on in a circle. The inability to satisfy absolutely all existing needs causes frustration.

Frustration in relationships

We are not talking about romantic relationships, although this type of frustration is most often mentioned in connection with them. It's about relationships with people around you. Disappointment, aggression, and resentment arise in cases where an individual cannot defend his opinion and makes concessions, does what he does not want. Unable to refuse, he gives in to his opponent, which is why he subsequently experiences anger and other unpleasant emotions.

False

This state is similar to frustration with expressed emotions. But they have less power. You can cope with them without resorting to the help of a specialist.

False frustration occurs when the functioning of those parts of the nervous or endocrine system that are responsible for emotions is disrupted. For example, an excess amount of adrenaline causes emotions in a person similar to those that appear during frustration.

Existential

Existential frustration is a condition characterized by disappointment in life in general. An individual loses the meaning and purpose of existence for many reasons. Among them:

  • dismissal amid high unemployment;
  • retirement;
  • completion of training in the absence of the opportunity to get a job in the specialty;
  • complicated divorce;
  • economic and political changes in the state.

It is difficult for a person to adapt to new conditions. He does not see opportunities to realize his abilities, so he experiences boredom and apathy. Over time, such circumstances lead to the development of neurosis. And it entails a deterioration in relationships with others, an attraction to alcohol and drugs.

Diagnosis of frustration

For every person, a feeling of frustration is a natural reaction, so every individual experiences it periodically. However, this condition often drags on, causing a whole range of mental and physical health problems. To diagnose frustration as a painful feeling, there are special psychological techniques:

  1. Questionnaire by V. Boyko , with the help of which a person can independently determine the level of his frustration.
  2. Rosenzweig technique , or the most popular test for both adults and children.
  3. The Wasserman method helps to diagnose the level of social frustration.
  4. Verbal test Sobchik . With its help, psychologists more often determine the type, direction and intensity of adolescents’ frustration.

Consequences

So what is frustration? These are negative emotions caused by the inability to get what you want, insurmountable obstacles to achieving your goal. Ideally, the response to frustration should be positive. This means that a person is looking for ways to get around problems and difficulties or learning from mistakes made. But it also happens that the negativity drags on. In these cases, emotional frustration has the following consequences:

  1. Aggression. This emotion can be directed at a problem or circumstance, or at people who have nothing to do with the situation. It manifests itself in the deliberate creation of conflict situations, hostility and even physical violence. The individual cannot control himself.
  2. Auto-aggression. The same as aggression, only it is directed at oneself. The main manifestation is self-destruction. A person deliberately risks his life, ignores the body’s alarm signals and refuses treatment, and develops bad habits.
  3. Retreat. In this case, one of the defense mechanisms is used - depreciation. A person who cannot get what he wants reduces its importance. This happens not only in words, but also in behavior. So, he can perform impulsive actions and make strange decisions.
  4. Regression. It was said above that during regression, trying to protect oneself from negative emotions and experiences, a person returns to the previous level of emotional development. It all looks something like this: having failed to achieve his goals, he freaks out, cries, and blames those around him for everything.
  5. Fixation. The individual realizes that he will not be able to fulfill a desire or satisfy a need. Therefore, he simply “fixes” himself in his normal state. He lives the same way as before, but aimlessly.
  6. Pointless activity. Experiencing strong anger and other negative emotions, a person decides to channel them in what he thinks is the right direction. But in fact, all his actions are meaningless and disordered. They don't bring any benefit.

And, probably, the most common consequence of frustration is apathy. Its main danger is the high risk of developing into depression.

Causes of frustration

The state of frustration is caused by obstacles that interfere with the activity necessary to achieve the goal. We are talking about prohibitions, physical and moral obstacles, contradictions. There are obstacles:

  • physical (arrest);
  • biological (aging, disease);
  • psychological (fear, lack of knowledge);
  • socio-cultural (norms, taboos of society).

Strong motivation to achieve a goal and significant obstacles along the way are two main conditions for frustration. As a result, a person either activates all his forces and looks for alternative ways to achieve this goal (not always rational, often impulsive), or abandons the goal (achieves it partially or in a perverted way).

The simplest and most common option is addictive (dependent) behavior, but this is the wrong response. Addictive behavior in response to frustration can be a variant of learning (parents set a personal example), compensatory behavior, or inadequate psychological defense.

How to get rid of frustration

First you need to learn to control negative emotions. It is important to eradicate them at the moment they appear. Thanks to this, you can avoid senseless, impulsive actions. Self-regulation techniques, for example, concentration on breathing, will be of great help in this.

How to deal with frustration?

Before you get out of frustration, you need to determine its causes. To cope with this condition, it is advisable to seek help from a psychologist. To eliminate the feeling of prostration, you need to perform several simple manipulations.

  1. The first thing a person should do is look at everything that is happening from the outside and assess the scale of his problems.
  1. Determine for yourself the importance of unachieved goals.
  2. Make an action plan if its goals are truly important.
  3. Try to accept the fact that nothing happens quickly.
  4. Devote more time to leisure and relaxation.

Do something useful for yourself. In order for the concept of frustration to disappear forever from a person’s life, it is necessary to correctly get out of a difficult state of dissatisfaction. An experienced psychologist will always be able to identify the cause and correctly draw up a plan for getting out of such a state as frustration. If a person realizes that achieving his goals is realistic, he no longer plunges into a difficult psychological state.

Examples of frustration from life

Probably every person has encountered frustration. Imagine a situation familiar to many: a man is going to watch an important football match for him. He did everything in his power to achieve this: he agreed with his boss to leave early, bought his favorite beer and snack, and invited friends. The first difficulty is a traffic jam. But it has been successfully overcome. The match starts at 17-00, there is still time to prepare. And now the guests are assembled, the table is set, the referee is preparing to blow the whistle to start the match. And suddenly, due to scheduled work, the electricity goes out. Frustration arises.

In this case, the difficulties that stand in the way of the hero can be overcome, for example, by going with friends to a sports bar.

I'll give you an example from my life. I get frustrated in the morning. Usually in the evening I draw up a rough action plan and set an alarm for a certain time. It seems simple. But in the morning I manage to miss the alarm and oversleep. Naturally, I get up after this in a bad mood and with no desire to work at all.

In my situation, the obstacle is also easy to overcome. It is enough to go to bed a little earlier, and in the morning do not lie down, but get up at the first alarm signal.

Overcoming Frustration

  1. In order to adequately survive the state of frustration, you need to pay special attention to it at the beginning, when the frustration has just become noticeable. It is at this moment that a person commits rash, chaotic, meaningless actions - both aimed at achieving the primary goal and those far from it. The main thing is to survive aggression and depression, to calm these moods in yourself. Self-regulation techniques are suitable for this.
  2. The second step is replacing the primary goal with an alternative, but more accessible one. Or considering the reasons for failure and making a plan to overcome them. It is better to first analyze the situation. If it turns out that it is really impossible to overcome the difficulty (there are too many objective factors that do not depend on the individual), then it is recommended to choose a different goal or delay achieving the previous one if external conditions may change over time.

The state of frustration makes you feel inferior. In response to this, a person usually reacts with defense mechanisms or excessive activity (overcompensation). A third option is also possible - consciously overcoming a traumatic situation.

Features of frustration behavior are described through motivation and organization. The first factor presupposes a meaningful and promising connection between behavior and the motive (need) that provokes frustration. Organized behavior presupposes that it is endowed with at least some purpose, not necessarily leading to the satisfaction of the primary motive that caused the frustrating situation. The combination of these parameters determines the nature of behavior. For example, it can be motivic and organized, or motivic but not organized, and so on.

Replacement target

Just as many paths can be found to achieve the same goal, an alternative goal can be discovered by which a need or desire can be satisfied. In neurolinguistic programming and hypnotherapy, for example, there are techniques that allow you to transfer the feeling of falling in love from one object to another, and thus get rid of unrequited love.

Of course, a person whose instinct is already firmly fixed on a certain person refuses to believe that he could ever experience such strong feelings for someone else in his life.

It takes patience to find a target that can compensate for the properties of the one being replaced. But if this were impossible, then people would not marry happily several times during their lives and would not find the meaning of life in new activities after losing the opportunity to do what they love. For example, actor A. Banderas wanted to become a football player, but after a leg injury he had to give up his dream of a sports career. It is unlikely that the world-famous actor is still experiencing frustration due to unfulfilled teenage hopes.

Reassessment of the situation

The obvious solution to getting out of a state of frustration caused by internal conflict is to choose between alternatives. Appeal to both your mind and your emotions.

Weigh the pros and cons of each of your desires. Transfer the analysis process to paper. After writing down all possible arguments, highlight those that are of key importance for your life. Discard the rest. Identifying your core values ​​will help you cope with anxiety and fear. If you cannot cope with the problem on your own, contact a specialist. Psychologist-hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin will help you get rid of a psychological problem in 5 sessions of hypnotherapy.

You can understand what your soul is really leaning towards by trusting the decision to tossing a coin. Your emotional reaction to the result will tell you which course of action is preferable to you.

Another way to make a choice is to live through its results in your imagination. Of the two alternatives, choose one as the final one. As if you had already made a choice in her favor. Before going to bed, try to feel as realistically as possible that the final decision has already been made. There is no need to take any specific steps towards implementing the chosen alternative.

The whole next day (several days, a week - it all depends on the fate of the choice) watch yourself. Literally everything is important - mood, level of energy, performance, feelings towards other people, degree of irritability. Repeat the same process for the second, third choice.

Completing this exercise helps expand the perceived context of the problem, realize hidden fears and true needs. It is often possible to combine seemingly opposing elements. For example, a person's desires to assert himself, but at the same time maintain the love of others, can be combined in attempts to become a leader of a group.

The fact is that any serious internal conflict is a sign of splitting the integral “I” into several subpersonalities. A thoughtless refusal to satisfy the needs of any of the subpersonalities will inevitably cause sensations equivalent to the amputation of a body part. Therefore, in a situation of internal conflict, as well as external, it is important to seek a compromise.

Reassessment of the situation can occur gradually in the process of long reflection, or unexpectedly, as a result of insight. One of the methods for integrating the psyche is hypnosis.

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