How not to fall in love with a guy friend: the answer to a difficult question

Svetlana Rozhenko 12/25/2015 The best articles about love and romance, Advice from experienced people Leave a comment 876 Views

They say that friendship between a man and a woman does not exist. Just recently, you were ready to argue with this statement until you were hoarse and proudly cited as an example your own relationship with a childhood friend... And today, as soon as he, so familiar and reliable, is near you, you blush, stammer and feel warmth in your chest. It happened - you fell in love. What to do next? Fight? Open up? Give up and trust fate - let everything go as it goes?

Confess to a friend or remain silent?
We act after choosing
How to deal with your feelings?
How to confess?
What to do in case of refusal

Stay friends

Sometimes close friends deliberately decide not to take things to the next level in their relationship. They are satisfied with everything as it is, they do not want to risk their friendship. It is quite easy to understand such motives: there is a fear of losing trust, of losing the help and support that is so necessary in difficult times. Asking the question: what to do if she has fallen in love with a friend, a girl often prefers to suppress any romantic impulse within herself.

To some extent, this is a reasonable approach to life, because truly deep relationships are not thrown away. If people know how to value each other's company, then they will prefer to make all sorts of sacrifices in order to achieve a certain harmony. To remain friends means to be able to overcome limiting circumstances and free yourself from many prejudices. Friendships can be extremely strong. It all depends on the level of mutual understanding.

Turn on the girl in you

While you communicated at the level of friendship, you were just a beautiful friend, buddy for your chosen one. It's time to change this state of affairs. After your friendship has become stronger and you have begun to be connected by common emotions, you can take the next step - show him that you are not just a congenial person, but also a wonderful representative of the opposite sex.

When communicating with your loved one, you won’t even notice how you start flirting and flirting. There is nothing wrong with this, the main thing is not to overdo it. Your excessive zeal may frighten him and push him away, especially if you were previously restrained in this. Start small. For example, casually adjust a curl in your hair when he looks at you or throw your hair back, showing him your beautiful neck. Just smile at him and look away. There are a lot of such “women's tricks”. By carefully using them, you will draw the young man’s attention to yourself and show your femininity. Your task is to ensure that he looks at you with interest when you don’t seem to see him. You will definitely feel such an interested look. And then all that remains is to develop this success, gradually kindling in him the desire to be with you, to look at you, to hear your laughter.

Let your friend know that you have long ceased to have just friendly feelings for him. Show him your sincere love.

Declaration of love

You must understand that this is a big risk, and it cannot be assessed in advance. If you decide to reveal your own feelings, you must be prepared to experience severe disappointment. Often love is unrequited, and such an understanding causes severe mental pain. A person begins to feel unnecessary and unclaimed. The fact is that a friend will not necessarily be ready to share his love.

Many people do not want to transfer existing relationships to another status. Declaring your love to a friend can confuse him, make him completely confused and even lose patience. When wondering what to do if you fell in love with a friend, you need to understand that from now on your life will definitely change. Everything cannot remain the same, because life does not stand still. Sometimes, over time, love can become mutual. In other cases, former friends will have to part ways forever. A declaration of love is always a risk that does not necessarily pay off in the future. When it comes to feelings, it becomes extremely difficult to give any guarantees.

What to do

Falling in love is experienced in different ways. If the man for whom you have feelings meets your needs, you can consider developing a relationship. In the opposite situation, do not make further plans together, as you will have to get rid of your love. A separate case is considered to be a situation in which there is a physical connection with a young man, but more cannot be allowed. It’s difficult to understand how to not fall in love with a close man with whom you just sleep. However, with a certain determination, this is also possible.

READ How to recognize signs of love and distinguish it from standard falling in love

Girls and women

Girls who feel the beginnings of falling in love with a man must act decisively. Write down the features that attracted you, clearly formulate your thoughts. After that, look through the list, adding a refutation to each item. For example, charisma and beauty attract women, so the man is highly likely to be a womanizer. Intelligence is an indicator of tediousness, and physical capabilities are an obsession with appearance, stupidity.

Take a break with friends. Suitable for parties, trips, active recreation. Don't forget to flirt with men. This will increase self-esteem and make you look at the young people around you.

Start doing something you've been putting off for a long time. The physical and moral recovery that occurred against the background of hormonal changes will become the basis that will help you accomplish what seemed impossible.

For boys and men

Guys who want to avoid showing feelings can use the techniques listed in the previous paragraph. Also, use an additional trick - hormonal levels can be changed with the help of heavy physical activity. For example, if you do two workouts every day for a week (cardio and definitely strength training with weight lifting), then falling in love will pass faster.

Subordinates

The feeling of inner strength emanating from the boss sometimes causes falling in love. To prevent a man holding a high position from becoming the reason for his dismissal, use these tricks:

Maintain subordination. She will make you feel the difference in position, an unpleasant superiority.
Don't idealize. If a man works as a boss, it is not necessary that he is good outside the workplace. Take a closer look, identify negative character traits that you cannot put up with in everyday life, and repeat them like a mantra.
Think about the possible consequences of an office romance. Gossip at work won't make you happy, so don't cross the line.

Spending time together

If friends fall in love with each other, they will prefer to be close all the time. There may be different situations in life when you may need the support and attention of a loved one. The better people are able to communicate, the more interesting their interactions can be.

Sometimes changing your status becomes quite difficult: you have to try to pay extra attention to yourself and take some steps. Spending time together regularly brings you closer together. People begin to trust even more and open up to each other. The ability to share secrets and mysteries helps strengthen the union. In fact, this is a very valuable acquisition that not everyone gets.

Definition: why not him?

Decide that you definitely don’t need this person. Explain to yourself why he shouldn't be around you. Clearly, clearly and without emotions. Don’t think with your heart (everything is complicated there now), think with your head. Use common sense and sort everything out. Better yet, write it down on a piece of paper.

There is no need for general phrases like: “I/he is not right for me,” “We are too different,” “Nothing will work out for us.” Write to the point, the root of the problem. For example: “he is evil, greedy, frivolous, stupid, etc., etc.” Find your reason and decide whether it is important enough not to fall in love. If you were able to answer this question, then continue further. If not, I wish you happiness and a strong relationship!

Change appearance

Often this step helps to draw attention to your person. If your friend didn't perceive you as an attractive partner before, now he has a chance to do so. Changing your appearance means not being afraid to experiment, try something new. You need to know exactly in what image you want to appear before your chosen one. When friends realize that they have fallen in love with each other, they can gradually steer the relationship in the right direction. The main thing is that their feelings are mutual.

Become more attractive to him

Use your charm coupled with the information you have about your lover. Perhaps, in conversations with you, he mentioned what kind of girls he likes and thereby gave you trump cards. Find out what he liked most about his ex-girlfriends, what annoyed him, and what he was willing to do for them. Don't be afraid to listen to his pleasant memories, this will give him new feelings that he will associate with you. From the information received, draw a conclusion on how to find the way to his heart. When jealousy tries to take over your mind, the thought that all his former passions are long in the past, and you are next to him, will help you come to your senses.

If your friend didn’t talk much about himself and there is not enough information, then in conversations, as if by chance, ask about his past relationships and what kind of girl he would like to see next to him. Don’t be afraid if his stories about life before you arouse feelings of jealousy and anger in your heart. Keep your emotions to yourself. Your task is not to worry, but to gradually become closer to his ideal, if this also suits you or to the extent that is acceptable for you. In many cases, this is possible even if you are very different from him. For example, if you are a brunette and he likes blondes, then it is not necessary to bleach your hair completely. It may be enough to lighten your hair a couple of shades or just add feathers. At the same time, by his reaction you will understand which one he likes more, natural or new.

Pay attention to your character and behavior. Do they correspond to the ideal of your friend, is this what your chosen one is looking for in girls? If not, then gradually change those traits of yours that you yourself would like. After all, it is important to please not only the other person, but also yourself.

The desire to be useful

If a guy has fallen in love with a girl friend, then he will probably strive to do something nice for her. This is a natural desire that should not be interfered with. The desire to be useful from the outside looks extremely noble. Such a person, as a rule, realizes what a great responsibility is entrusted to him.

Without a doubt, he will listen to his girlfriend, console her when necessary, and try to give practical advice. To be useful means, first of all, to give up your own egoism. When a person truly loves another, he is least concerned about his own benefit. In some cases, it occurs to him to sacrifice personal interests in some way. Sometimes this approach to a situation helps to significantly improve it and arouse additional interest in oneself. After all, people value those who are interested in them. In love and friendship you cannot be selfish.

Is it possible to avoid falling in love?

Spontaneous emotion arises unexpectedly, so it is inappropriate to talk about the possibilities of avoiding such a manifestation. But you can create conditions for the fading of love in a short time. For this purpose, techniques are used that can change the direction of thoughts.

As a result, the man who causes feelings ceases to be the focus of attention, which is enough to change feelings:

Transfer to the rank of a loved one. Falling in love does not arise towards your grandfather, father, brother - this is forbidden. If you imagine that the object is on the same level as relatives, you will get a reaction in the form of cooling down and loss of interest.
Find the downsides in a man. A woman, in a fit of romantic desires, attributes to a potential partner qualities that are not characteristic of him. A fictional image is created that attracts even more. To avoid this, start looking critically right away. Notice the disadvantages, weaknesses, unprofessionalism, laxity, cowardice and other traits that irritate you. Consider your actions and actions carefully so as not to miss details that could help you become completely disappointed.
Get rid of the negatives in yourself. Self-improvement can solve many of a woman’s problems: falling in love, melancholy, depression. Look from the outside and evaluate which parts are off-putting, and start working towards improvement. Self-realization at the moment of falling in love will give additional strength, since hormonal levels help you feel cheerful.

READ How to make a boy fall in love with you: effective tips and recommendations

Knowing how to avoid trouble and not fall in love with an unworthy guy, you can also improve your material, financial, and physical situation.

Take your relationship to the next level

Especially courageous individuals decide to radically change their lives. If friends fall in love with each other, then this is not a reason to hide their feelings. It is still recommended to open them, this way there is a greater chance of achieving mutual understanding. In the case where the attraction is mutual, it will be easier to explain. A transition to a new level of relationship is only possible if both participants want it. When there are any significant contradictions, it can be very difficult to achieve consensus. People sometimes do not understand how much they can hurt the soul of their opponent. Only by earning forgiveness can we gain mutual understanding. When a person moves from one status to another, as a rule, this is accompanied by a certain amount of stress. You need to get used to your new role, open your soul. Change is sometimes quite difficult, but it is definitely worth it.

She loved him for his torment

To the question whether there is friendship between a man and a woman, psychology does not give a clear answer. But he clearly recommends taking a closer look at your friend. Suddenly this is exactly the person you need in life. After all, you can consider her or his friend, and in difficult life situations you run to him or her. So isn’t it easier not to run anywhere and unite your destinies? This is easy to do if both friends are free and if they don’t have it in their hearts - no, but the thought flashes through, what if we change the status of friendship to a closer one?

But everything is much more complicated if one of the friends has a family or, even worse, simply takes advantage of the kindness and sincerity of the other. Yes, this happens quite often. One is sincerely friendly, and the second is, as it were, fueled by the good energy of the first.

Psychologists note that often friendship between a man and a woman develops into marriage when:

one of your friends has a tragedy;
a friend leaving his family;
you need the support of a friend in an extreme situation, etc.

That is, force majeure in life attracts friends and makes them closer. So it turns out - “she fell in love with him for his torment, and he loved her for her compassion for them.”

End the relationship

Sometimes it is easier for people to break off a relationship that has existed for a long time than to try to change something. If a girl falls in love with a friend, then this gives her a reason to seriously think about the future. Ending a relationship means putting an end to it. When it's really hard to imagine a future together, the only reasonable solution seems to be to say goodbye.

In the event that a relationship reaches a dead end after an unsuccessful explanation, many decide to forget about the existence of a former friend. Whether this is right or not, everyone decides for themselves. If the relationship ends, then there are serious reasons for it.

Thus, sometimes it happens that friends begin to feel romantic affection towards each other. Similar situations occur quite often, but it happens that love becomes unrequited. In this case, someone is bound to suffer.

Develop your ego

You don't have to think badly about the guy or attribute imaginary shortcomings to him. Although this option also exists, they say it helps. It's better if you grow in your own eyes. Remember all your virtues, think about how wonderful, smart, beautiful, successful you are, and he... is not the one who should be next to you.

This does not mean that you should imagine yourself as a queen for everyone around you. Let this be a small game inside you, there are 2 players - you and HE. You deserve more!

Rules and exceptions

Friendship between a girl and a guy is always based on mutual sympathy, as evidenced by modern psychology. And often the scenario of such friendship is tritely simple - they are friends until the moment the situation for sexual relations is created:

strong drinks;
vacant apartment;
the opportunity to retire after the party, etc.

And despite their status as friends, young people succumb to passion and mutual attraction. The next morning you can cynically call it all friendly sex or start a relationship from scratch called lovers. Here everyone chooses for themselves.

But friendship between a man and a woman still exists, as psychologists also talk about. Only they consider this an exception to the general rule: