Human experiences experiences By reasons: troubles With husband wife, on work, with kids. Many of the authors of esoteric and psychological literature claim that the flow of negative thoughts influences ongoing events and creates new problems.
Positive thinking and the ability to enjoy life help you break out of a vicious circle. Positive emotions harmonize space, create favorable events, attract the right people, but it is important to disconnect from the source of negativity. The article will help you understand how to stop worrying and stressing yourself out.
What is excitement?
Excitement is a defensive reaction to external stimuli that allows you to mobilize internal energy. A person can worry for various reasons, for example, before a public speaking or other event in which he is afraid of not being perfect. Often the cause of unnecessary worries is shame or deception. A little anxiety before an important event is a normal reaction for any person, and there is no pathology here.
But excessive worries prevent you from adequately perceiving reality and lead to unnecessary fuss and mistakes. They worsen the quality of life, often due to the fear of being unsuccessful, a person loses an important chance to improve his personal life or advance his career. Many people, having been burned several times, prefer to “go with the flow” so as not to worry again. Unfortunately, this approach to life makes you ignore many promising opportunities.
What are the fears?
There are a huge number of different fears and phobias. Most of them are familiar to each of us to one degree or another, but there are some that at first glance seem strange and absurd.
Auroraphobia is the fear of the northern lights, lachanophobia is the fear of vegetables, bibliophobia is the fear of books.
The most common human fears can be divided into 4 categories.
- Fear of space in its various manifestations: claustrophobia, agoraphobia, fear of heights and fear of flying.
- Social fears: fear of public speaking, fear of new acquaintances, fear of telephone conversations, etc. Pronounced in adolescence.
- Fear of illnesses and medical procedures: cancerophobia, fear of heart attacks and cardiovascular diseases.
- Fear of animals and natural phenomena: darkness, spiders, thunderstorms.
Whatever your fear, you can and should fight it. The sooner you start doing this, the faster you will become a truly free and happy person.
How to get rid of panic attacks on your own once and for all
Today I will tell you how to cope with a panic attack in...
Main reasons for anxiety
Experience is always a consequence of certain irritating factors. Their importance can vary significantly, but we attach much more importance to some of them than we should. As a result, we cannot stop worrying and waste mental energy concentrating on meaningless stimuli. This creates a feeling of severe discomfort and is sometimes more tiring than complex intellectual work.
There are several most common reasons for the experience:
- feeling of self-doubt;
- shyness;
- excitement for the result and its quality;
- lack of control over the situation;
- feeling of threat to one's own well-being;
- reassessment of the significance of the upcoming event.
We begin to worry if the situation seems ambiguous, if we are afraid that we will not be able to achieve the desired result. Fear of failure is accompanied by the additional worry of what others will think. It is impossible to completely avoid anxiety, so our reaction should always be adequate and should not turn into stress.
Causes
Without experiencing fear, any person would lose the boundary between comfort and health risks. Therefore, it is not surprising that everyone is afraid. But it is important to think not about this feeling, but about how to make the destructive influence minimal. It is not fear that should take control over you, but you over it. It is this approach that allows you to maintain sanity in any situation.
But let's talk about the reasons. There may be several of them:
- psychological trauma inflicted in childhood;
- loss of a loved one or loved one;
- conflicts at work and in the family, frequent quarrels;
- an unexpected event that is difficult to relate to reality;
- severe and prolonged stress.
In any case, the best way to win is to analyze the original source of the sensation and get rid of it yourself. If nothing comes of this, then sign up for my personal consultation, where I will tell you and tell you what to do.
Why is it so hard to stop worrying?
When faced with difficult situations that require urgent decisions, people make many mistakes due to anxiety. They waste a lot of nerves and time, often without achieving the desired result. Everyone tends to worry, and there is no person who can demonstrate iron self-control in any situation. But everyone's ability to contain this feeling is different.
Some constantly torment themselves with anxious thoughts, others are prone to painful anticipation of unpleasant events, others do not worry about external circumstances, but are terrified of their own responsibility. At the same time, everyone would prefer to be in a calm state, allowing them to make thoughtful and informed decisions, achieving the optimal result in any circumstances.
Excessive anxiety almost always creates additional problems. Each of us understands this and dreams of learning to control emotions without taking exciting events to heart. But no one wants to be callous and indifferent, because since childhood we have been taught to have an emotional reaction to any events.
We are sure that only a “callous” person can remain calm in difficult situations. But a good person must worry, his soul must “ache” for his loved ones. Another reason is that it is impossible to stop worrying by simple willpower. Fortunately, there are many techniques that can help you significantly reduce anxiety, and in this article we will give some tips that will help everyone.
What does it mean to beat yourself up?
Overthinking is a state of anxiety , the head , thinking about an event , comes up with a meaning that was not originally inherent in it. The wife saw her husband in the company of a beautiful woman, decided that the marriage had come to an end, the husband had found a mistress and was about to leave. A woman twists her thoughts like curls of hair in curlers; the strength of her emotions does not allow her to take the right actions.
Waiting for her husband, causing a scandal. Fears based on the unknown and speculation. There is an immersion not in the problem, but in the moment of the experience. The broadcast starts for the present. When anxiety is experienced, the brain reacts in the usual way to trouble , not seeing any other option . Mental reactions have a positive function of self-preservation and are natural in relation to loved ones.
The brain paints terrible pictures: a mother, worried about her son, who was late at work, begins to think that he is in trouble; in fact, nothing happened. Pictures that cause panic lead to uncontrollable emotions. This is how the ego reacts. The foundations of behavioral reactions are laid by parents, teachers, and friends.
Worldview is determined by upbringing and character. Experiences are caused by low self-esteem, fear of failure, condemnation, doubts about the correctness of the choice.
Love is a common topic of concern . Feeling anxious for long-awaited happiness, partners come up with problems out of nowhere, get jealous, monitor correspondence, conversations, mutual acquaintances, exhausting their loved one. Psychologists insist: relationships between two people are built through dialogue and trust.
Be sure to read:
What to do if bad thoughts enter your head: 7 effective techniques for all occasions
Let go, stop comparing your partner with your ex, don’t drag a bag of rotten, smelly garbage into a clean house.
How to stop worrying: 10 consistent steps
There are many ways to overcome anxiety, but each person is individual, and must choose for himself what is right for him. In this article, we tried to select the most universal techniques that will effectively suit everyone, and if applied together, they will give amazing results. Well, are you ready? Then let's begin.
Learn to be aware of anxiety
Despite the seeming banality, this advice is one of the most important. Sometimes it is enough to understand in time that a senseless panic attack is brewing in order to prevent it. If you allow yourself to worry, the experience will grow with every second. And having realized the excitement, you can concentrate on finding the cause. Most likely, it will turn out that the reason is not worth serious stress. You can almost always take control of your own feelings by simply recognizing what event is causing a panic attack.
Simple steps that are very difficult to do
It would seem that if you are afraid to fly on a plane, just get on it and fly to Fiji. Once the plane lands safely, the fear will go away on its own. Unfortunately, it is not easy to do even such a habitual act for many.
First you need to learn to correctly understand your fear. For example, someone wants to stop being afraid of flying. How to do it? We need to try to find out when and why it appeared. Often there is something more hidden behind them. And fear for your children may turn out to be fear of loneliness. To find out how to stop being afraid of death, you need to understand what became the trigger for this state in your life. And only then find ways out of this state.
Be prepared for anything
Often the cause of nervousness is an internal feeling of unpreparedness. It seems to a person that he is not good enough, has not understood everything, has not studied all the information, has not foreseen all possible risks. But procrastination usually does not improve the level of preparedness, but only makes us even more nervous.
Be prepared for anything. Try to anticipate possible stressors and don't view them as a failure. Calculate in advance how you will act if events do not go according to plan. Always think through several backup plans that provide for various errors and undesirable scenarios. By adopting this simple principle, you can stop worrying at any time and save a lot of nerve cells.
Plan the upcoming event, taking into account key points where deviations from the plan are possible. Think about what you will do in the event of unfavorable developments. It is necessary to identify several main blocks and provide for an unfavorable outcome for each. This will allow you to act with maximum efficiency, no matter how events develop.
How to stop beating yourself up out of habit
the methods described , a person “slides” into negativity out of habit when circumstances get out of control. Return to the present moment, practice mindfulness, feel the body, the taste of food, the pen, the computer keys. reminding that it’s not about what happened, but about the arguments.
Those around you may not act as fear dictates; there are several options for exit.
The reasons for a negative past do not apply to all people and situations. Experience binds you to people, causes pain, and inhibits personal development.
Switch your attention: draw, look at a flower, clean, sing, go dancing, find hobbies. Update your wardrobe, declutter your shelves, watch a comedy. Monitor your internal dialogue throughout the day, control your thoughts, replacing them with the necessary statements. Replace the habit of guessing in your head with conversation or action.
Get rid of children's complexes
We owe many complexes to our parents. Trying to instill in us such important qualities as responsibility and a sense of duty, they often made us worry and feel a strong sense of guilt for every mistake. Overcoming complexes developed in childhood is difficult, but possible. To get started, start following four simple rules:
- stop blaming yourself for mistakes;
- do not attach importance to fictitious problems;
- get rid of fears;
- be yourself.
Constantly convince yourself that you are right and that your actions are correct. Even if errors occur periodically, their consequences are usually not so critical.
Focus on the present moment
Sometimes the cause of unnecessary anxiety is a well-developed imagination, which gives rise to unexpected options for the development of events. Many people tend to get hung up on coming up with negative scenarios. Often the basis for them is unpleasant events from the past, projected onto current circumstances.
Constantly rethinking your own actions, it is difficult to stop worrying, so such reflections are addictive. They require enormous mental resources and drain all mental energy, depriving us of the opportunity to work productively. Learn to concentrate on the current moment without tormenting yourself with unpleasant memories and without coming up with negative scenarios.
Learn to quickly eliminate or reduce anxiety
In Western psychotherapeutic practice, there is a fairly popular technique that involves using special “anchors.” It allows you to almost instantly stop worrying and move into a peaceful state of mind. The role of “anchor” can be played by any phenomenon: a favorite song, phrase or a specific tactile sensation. Experts often offer ready-made templates:
- counting table from 1 to 9 (you can enhance the effect by choosing a non-standard number segment);
- deep breathing with a specific rhythm;
- listing first names, last names, or street names in a specific order.
By creating such an “anchor”, you can quickly divert attention from disturbing things and switch to productive work.
Take care of your nervous system health
The causes of stress are both psychological and physiological factors. Proper nutrition will significantly improve the health of the nervous system, making it stable and resistant to stress. The benefits of a balanced diet are not an invention of nutritionists. Proper nutrition can make almost anyone healthier. Try to eat more varied foods, avoiding fast food, fatty and fried foods.
Make sure that your diet constantly includes foods such as:
- tomatoes;
- sea fish and other seafood;
- citrus fruits and bananas;
- berries (especially black ones);
- dairy products and beef;
- nuts and legumes.
Among the vitamins, the most important for the brain and nervous system are B vitamins. But it is better to take balanced vitamin-mineral complexes. If you have increased nervousness, you can drink calming teas with mint, lemon balm and special herbal mixtures in the evenings.
Advice from psychologists for nervous overexcitation
Psychologists often face the problem of patients how to stop worrying and stressing themselves out. There is a lot of advice on this matter, but the simplest and most effective method includes breathing techniques. Deep, measured breathing will allow you to relax and pull yourself together. It is better not to use pills to calm down - many drugs help for a while, without affecting the essence of the problem, they are addictive. You can take chocolate as medicine. Increasing blood glucose will improve your mood and nervousness will subside. A monotonous but interesting activity will help you calm down, for example, knitting or embroidery.
A healthy diet, adequate sleep and physical activity are the key to a stable psycho-emotional state of a person. Adequate self-esteem and faith in people will help you stay calm in any situation, cope with nervousness and start living happily.
Be confident in yourself
One of the main reasons for anxiety is uncertainty. Always strive to be confident in yourself, your strengths, your appearance, and that you make a positive impression on others. The following simple steps will help you make significant progress in this direction:
- go in for sports (a beautiful figure is the most important factor in self-confidence);
- become a really good specialist in your fields (work, hobbies, common interests with friends);
- reconsider your own views on the surrounding reality;
- meditate (a well-developed meditation skill will allow you to quickly stop worrying in a difficult situation).
These habits will not only increase your self-confidence, but will also help you achieve success in the most important areas of your life.
Preparing for stressful situations
Increasing your stress tolerance level is one of the ways to calm yourself down and not get nervous. In order not to freak out, you need to be prepared for anything. To do this, be able to control yourself and make decisions.
Need to:
- collect facts;
- analyze;
- decide;
- think coolly.
Breathing exercises used in meditative techniques will help maintain composure.
Routine should not consume you, you need to get rid of it, relax, travel, attend various events. Having a hobby that helps you take your mind off troubles increases your self-esteem and level of stress resistance.
Nervousness at work
In order not to be nervous at work, you need to find something you like. It should bring pleasure, satisfaction and money. You will have to pay for a job you don’t like in terms of overwork, nervousness, and illness.
To understand how not to be nervous at work, advice from a psychologist will help, recommending drawing up a plan for each action leading to the main goal. When it seems that there is no end to the work, set additional tasks, intermediate ones. Praise yourself for completing a certain stage in the plan. You need to believe in yourself and not be afraid to take on difficult work.
Additional Information. If you start your day by doing the most unpleasant task, you will feel completely satisfied once it is completed. The remaining points will seem easy.
A cozy workplace, clear goals, friendly relations with colleagues are necessary conditions for creating a favorable atmosphere, far from stress.
Experiences at work
Experiences during pregnancy
Pregnancy makes all women nervous. They worry about any reason, causing harm to themselves and the health of the baby. It is necessary to avoid stressful situations and not create them yourself. Breathing techniques will help you not to panic. There are special exercises that can be performed by pregnant women, including yoga. The main thing is to establish a daily routine, eat right, provide the body with vitamins and useful elements, and sleep more than 8 hours a day. Then worries will remain aside.
Get rid of factors that cause nervousness
This method involves getting rid of habits that make a person nervous. Without bringing any benefit, they poison our lives, taking away a lot of strength and energy. Such habits include:
Smoking
Many people believe that smoking helps cope with stress. This is not true, since nicotine addiction makes a person more nervous, and a cigarette helps to cope with this condition for a short time.
Alcohol consumption
Like cigarettes, alcohol has a temporary effect. Even if it helps you stop worrying for one evening, the subsequent recovery of the nervous system will take at least a week.
Taking sedatives
Such medications can only be taken in short courses as prescribed by a doctor. If you take it constantly, the cumulative effect will be the same as from nicotine and alcohol.
Chronic lack of sleep
In an effort to improve themselves, many begin to skimp on sleep. At first it seems to them that they are very energetic and get enough sleep in 5-6 hours. But the effect of “lack of sleep” accumulates slowly and has a detrimental effect on health, so you need to sleep at least 7 hours every day.
Well, friends, we’ve sorted out all the basic steps that will help you stop worrying. Remember that they will only be useful if you remember them and apply them in practice. To consolidate the result, let's look at the harm that constant worry can cause.
Causes of nervousness
Scientific and technological progress and increasing flows of new information keep us in constant tension. Even teenagers are faced with a huge amount of information to process. It's not always easy to deal with this. The deterioration of the environmental situation negatively affects the functioning of the brain and affects the psyche. The noise that accompanies life leads to increased fatigue, insomnia, and nervous disorders.
The main cause of nervous tension is personal emotions; they make people worry the most. Occurs when:
- self-doubt;
- inability to achieve set goals.
What makes you nervous is the fear of the future, which could leave you without a job and bring illness. Knowledge of human psychology will help eliminate the causes of nervousness.
What harm does worry bring?
Unnecessary experiences prevent a person from controlling his own behavior and negatively affect his health. Let us note the most important negative consequences of anxiety:
- Decreased intellectual abilities
. The brain is the center of the nervous system, and it is where stress bears the brunt. Constant nervousness impairs memory and the ability to concentrate on tasks at hand. - Difficulty with self-control
. A person who cannot restrain emotions creates a negative impression in professional activities and personal communication. - "Broken Focus"
. Nervousness weakens concentration. As a result, we focus on the little things and lose sight of the really important things. - Chronic fatigue
. Constant worry is more tiring than complex intellectual work. A person who constantly worries about little things loses the ability to work effectively. - Bad habits
. Nervous people are constantly looking for ways to distract themselves from unnecessary thoughts, resorting to the help of tobacco and alcohol. Sometimes it comes to more dangerous means. - Real diseases
. Constant stress can result in serious health problems. It has a particularly strong effect on all kinds of inflammatory processes in the body.
How to stop being nervous and start living, feeling the flow of life.
Another important element to be happy is the ability to feel the flow of life, to feel the present moment.
Here he is, here and now. That moment that almost everyone misses. We live without living.
We set goals, work to achieve them, live in anticipation, then set the next goals. We want to go on vacation, we think about it. We plan something else on vacation. We all look ahead, plan everything and think about how to live and what to do. But we lose sight of the present moment, in which our life actually happens to us.
The main point. Without him there is no life. Of course, there is something, just whatever you want to call it, but this is not life.
After all, the main thing is to feel the flow of life through yourself. Feel this whole flow of constantly changing, running, disappearing and flaring up energies again, flowing from one to another.
This whole kaleidoscope of feelings, emotions, sensations, colors, sounds and pictures, every moment connecting into one big performance of life. All this seethes, boils, lives around and inside us, penetrating through and through, and we don’t even see it.
We see everything except the main thing, except life. There is no difference between a person and the space around him. There is only the unity of everything. And I’m just so sorry if you have never felt this unity in your life, have not dissolved in it, amazed by the scale and splendor of the creation around, within which we have the honor of being and of which we are a part.
What does living mean to me? The influence of nature on the human soul.
And you understand that there is nothing stronger than this awareness. You are the whole world around and its small grain of sand. The body is temporary, it changes, it ages and dies, but there is something that is eternal, what is behind it, what is inside it, what is everywhere. And in such moments life reveals itself. You understand that you are alive.
How to become calm and not nervous?
Feel the moment. Be aware of your presence within the moment of life. Do this more often. It's cool and it makes a difference.
Wherever you are, be there, if you know what I mean. Be in it, be there 100% and more. Feel yourself inside the moment, inside the space, be aware of the space itself, which has absorbed everything that you see and feel.
And again, don’t analyze, let go.
Let the moment exist as it is. To be calm and not nervous, relax and allow him to be like that, don’t resist. Become aware of yourself within the moment. Read about humility and you will understand what I mean.
And here comes the thrill of life, joy and peace, when you don’t have to prove anything to anyone, much less change the world around you. Here and now you can be happy. This is true.
You will act, you will move forward, we are not talking about inaction. It is important to feel life itself here and now and listen to yourself from the inside. Then everything you do later will happen with inner awareness and a living connection between what is inside everything and external reality.
