Golden rules of psychology for happiness
The psychology of human life is very multifaceted, including the psychology of success, development, communication, and personal growth. What is needed first of all for a happy life? Let's consider the basic rules of psychology for a happy person:
Our life is our thought, a reflection of aspirations
A person cannot change the circumstances of life, but he can change his attitude, opinion, and thoughts. A person’s life moves in the direction of the most powerful thoughts, concentration of attention, it is useful to learn to direct thinking in the direction of success, prosperity, happiness. By thinking positively, we create a new world, and by planning new achievements, we create the foundation for a new life and future success.
My life is my choice
To achieve inner harmony and happiness, it is important to realize that our lives depend on the internal choices we make every day. Only the person himself decides what to do, with whom to communicate, what activity to devote his life to, and whether there will be love in life. Internal protests can interfere with the fulfillment of desires and plans; it is important to believe in yourself and the possibility of self-realization, finding satisfaction in all areas of life.
The rules of psychology simplify your attitude to life, make it possible to believe in your own strengths, learn to create life, and change it for the better.
Rule of self-respect
A sense of the importance of one’s own personality, recognition of one’s characteristics and abilities is necessary, then a happy life is possible. You don’t need to be like everyone else, it’s important to discover your potential, learn to use your features in life. Having high self-esteem and respect helps to achieve high results, psychologists say: it is important to learn to love and accept one’s own personality in order to receive a response from society. An insecure person cannot reveal his inner talents, attract attention, or gain the respect of society. The process has a direct relationship with internal assessment.
Right to make mistakes
In the course of life, people tend to make mistakes and wrong actions. This is a normal process - only by falling and rising do we learn to walk; in life, too, wisdom comes over the years, thanks to accumulated experience, which is not possible without mistakes. Don’t reproach yourself, we draw conclusions and move on with our lives, avoiding similar actions in the future.
We are not talking about compliance with laws, this is mandatory, the main thing is to listen to your inner voice, intuition and conscience, they will not deceive you when choosing a decision. And minor miscalculations should not affect self-esteem, the more bumps, the more knowledge, the main thing is to continue to move forward with faith in your heart.
Difficulties are given to a person for growth, overcoming a new milestone - we become stronger, without difficulties, stagnation in life awaits, and development is necessary for a happy and successful life. Problems and difficulties are the tasks of life; they need to be solved, not experienced.
Right to self-identity
For a happy life, it is important to understand: each person is unique, everyone has their own characteristics, it is useful to develop your own style, look for interests, inclinations, aspirations inherent on the internal level, search and find. You shouldn’t be afraid to be a “black sheep”; it is innovators and people with unconventional thinking that reach heights in life, becoming famous writers, artists, musicians, and politicians.
They are often the leaders who head business companies, organizations, parties, and interest groups. The ability to think, generate ideas, and find innovative approaches are indispensable in life, as is recognition of one’s own characteristics and advantages.
Self-development is the path to a better life
It is important to understand that it is extremely difficult to change other people, it is better to learn to get along with relatives, establish good relationships with colleagues, understand how to bring a piece of happiness to your home, relationships, by giving - we receive. Life reciprocates. People say: “What goes around comes around.” These words contain the truth, the main rule of successful communication. So, to receive love you need to learn to love, to improve communication you need to be open and attentive to people, to receive help you need to help others.
The rules of psychology for happiness are logical and fair, consistent with the rules of the universe.
Live here and now
Life is today, the current moment, yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future. The secret to a happy life is to live for today, leaving grievances and troubles in the past. Awareness of the importance of life at a given moment in time makes a person more attentive, responsible, and allows you to get rid of the worries of your past life. The past is experience, you need to accept it and forgive yourself and others for mistakes, strive for better in the future, you cannot change the past, but you can create the future!
Give thanks to life
It is important to get rid of the feeling of pity and worthlessness that arises in pessimistic people. Noticing the positive sides of life, it is easier to move forward and believe in the best. Life needs to be thanked for the good and the bad; without negative experiences it is impossible to realize the difference, to feel joy and happiness. By recognizing and noticing the good in life, we create the basis for even better things, looking for new ways and means of achieving high goals.
The world is in harmony
Happy people, for example, Buddhists, know for sure: everything in the world is in its place - the sun moves, day gives way to night, winter and spring come, everything changes and is in harmony, according to the laws of the Universe. Such thoughts help you relax, accept the inevitable, it is difficult to control everything in life, only the concentration of attention depends on the person and the thought. Therefore, it is worth observing the beauty in life and thinking calmly, sovereignly, positively, which will ensure a happy life; haste and nervousness harm life and reduce work efficiency.
“Calm, just calm,” as Carlson said. This is the highest power that helps a person in all life situations.
New day - new chance
The psychology of life becomes simple if we think about it this way: what would I do if it were my last day, what desires would I strive to realize, would I value time more? It is important to realize your interests, aspirations, and not waste time. Learn to appreciate life, because it is given to people only once. Of course, changing your life dramatically is difficult. First you need to learn to enjoy life: work, family, benefit from life’s experiences, and then change for the better, achieve more.
The rules of psychology for happiness are simple and important, often echoing folk wisdom; people have noticed the laws of life, reflecting them in sayings and parables. It is worth gradually changing your life, introducing new rules, attitudes, changing yourself, we take a step towards changes in your own life, relationships with the outside world, and loved ones. Step by step you can build your own picture of the world and become a truly happy person.
Treat people the way you would like to be treated
Many girls make one big mistake in relationships with guys. They believe that a man should be a knight, and his task is to win the heart of a beauty. If this works at the initial stage of a relationship, then later such tactics fail. How to improve your personal life and not destroy your own happiness? A girl should invest in a relationship the same way a young man does. A good personal life is the work of both partners. A lady should periodically call a man, ask him out on dates and arrange surprises. In this case, the guy will feel the support of his beloved and understand that the lady is not indifferent to him. If the girl behaves like the Snow Queen, then the boyfriend will think that he is uninteresting and will go looking for a more suitable person.
A good happy life is possible
You can live a happy life by learning to use the rules of psychology and changing your attitude towards life. Happiness is a state of mind; it needs to be cultivated, radiated, and not sought. People who are able to be happy in their souls attract other, positive-minded individuals, find work more easily, find new opportunities, and achieve success.
The psychology of life is all the best. Seven Signs of a Good Life
Sign 1. Feeling of inner freedom You are doing well if you feel that your life is under a steering wheel and that steering wheel is in your hands.
When you want, you step on the gas, when you want, you stop and rest on the grass. You can have your opinion and even calmly say it. And it doesn’t really bother you if others have a different opinion. You don’t need to urgently convince your mistaken comrade. A group of comrades. To all erring comrades. There are no people in your life whose presence you have to tolerate. And if they do appear, then very quickly you drop them off at the nearest stop. After all, you are not on the same path with them. You know that at any moment you can turn off the road and even, if you want, go in the opposite direction. The opinions of others about your route are not particularly interesting to you and you will not listen to them for a long time. After all, so many interesting things await you ahead! Sign 2. Calm, deep joy You feel pleasure not only from small everyday joys: you ate ice cream or managed to jump on a departing bus, but you feel the joy of life, which comes from the very depths of your soul. And this joy is not overshadowed by small troubles and inconsistencies. Just as the flow of a huge river is not disturbed by a splash from a stone thrown into the water. The flow of life carries you and you float with it. Some events, meetings, projects happen to you, but all this goes along the banks and does not in any way block the feeling of the mighty flow of life. Sign 3. You are playing your role If you imagine, as Shakespeare said, that life is a theater and the people in it are actors, then in this play you are playing yourself. You don't need to play a more successful, more courageous, more knowledgeable person than you actually are. There is no need to portray a perfect hero. A knight without fear or reproach. You only play yourself. If you are tired, confused and made a mistake, then you can completely calmly admit it. And in response to the reproaches of various dissatisfied people, you say: “Well, really.” I'm not perfect! Sign 4. You are friends with yourself You need to do something urgently, and it is written in your weekly plan that it is urgent and even underlined in red. You yourself emphasized it. And the deadline came, and Outlook rang. It's time to get started. But right now you want some tea. And rest. Why spank yourself? You can safely cancel and reschedule everything. - Ninotchka, tell the president that I’m busy. I will send amendments to the law by SMS. That's all. You can drink tea and look out the window where two birds are figuring out the ownership of a bread crumb. Sign 5. Acceptance of life You have prepared for a long time and put in a lot of work. There was very little time left to reach the goal. But there was a rock in the way. And everything was gone. There is no road. What should I do? The river flows smoothly around the rock. Since we can’t go this route, let’s go another. Life goes on, the river smoothly carries its waters. And this is good! Sign 6. I will do As soon as you want something, then you don’t think about what would be good, yes if, yes how… Not at all. You only think about how you will do it. And you have no doubt that you will do this. And what, exactly, can stop you? Smart people will always help you, but nothing depends on stupid people in this life. Sign 7. Today is a holiday! Like every day! Today is a holiday of fresh bread or not, but rather the smell of coffee. No, I was mistaken, today is a holiday of a walking black cat with a fluffy tail held high. Or is today a celebration of light breezes and swaying trees? No, no, today is the holiday of the red squirrel who took the nut from your hand. However, why should a holiday have only one reason? Who is stopping you from combining International Women's Day with a holiday for women lovers? Therefore, today is a holiday of fresh air, cheerful rain and interesting communication. Do you want more serious reasons? You live, isn't that enough of a reason to celebrate? Trees, birds and animals do not celebrate any special days. For what? Every day of your life is special. Happy holiday to you!
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So, the basic principles of the life of a happy person
Everything that happens is for the better
An inner attitude towards positive changes helps to catch a wave of good luck and see new opportunities. When life gives you a sour lemon, know how to make lemonade out of it. Any event, situation has 2 sides - positive and negative, often the bright side is more difficult to find, but it exists.
Forget grievances
A happy person does not hold a grudge and understands that forgiveness primarily helps the one who forgives. You need to be healthy, calm, joyful. And the accumulation of grievances leads to diseases and neuroses.
Be open to communication
Happy people love to meet people, communicate, know how to listen and express their point of view. They understand: every person has the right to different views, this is not an obstacle to friendship and communication. They are always sincere, friendly, and charge you with positivity. Ready for cooperation and partnership.
Take responsibility for life
They understand perfectly well that life is the result of their own efforts and desires, they cultivate positive perceptions, set goals and achieve what they want. They never blame others and the world for injustice; they always begin the analysis with themselves. They calmly accept mistakes and mistakes. A happy person does not despair in case of failure, but continues to look for ways to get what he wants or sets new goals: “Everything will work out, good is on our side.”
Be able to give
For a happy life and harmony in the soul, it is important to be able to give: love, attention, care to the people around you, to share thoughts, time, knowledge with others. By giving, a person becomes more open to the world and, as a result, receives more - love, happiness, prosperity. In the modern world, consumerism is cultivated, but it does not help to find happiness, but interferes and creates a value system for egoists. By giving part of our lives to others, helping loved ones, we become truly happy and feel our own importance.
The psychology of human behavior pays special attention to the ability to build relationships, the desire to initially understand, show interest in others, and help create the basis for communication. Each person thinks about his own interests, and, feeling the attention of others, begins to reveal his best qualities and make contact.
Respect yourself and others
Self-esteem is a necessary condition for a successful and happy life. Understanding your value, you can learn to respect and love other people, show attention, and be open to the world. Respect for one’s own personality means recognizing one’s characteristics, merits, and understanding the importance of one’s own life. Having a mission and its implementation also helps.
Human psychology is a complex and simple topic; first of all, you need to understand that people are similar, you should treat others as you treat yourself. Kindness, humanity, attention, understanding have always contributed to mutual understanding.
Self-confidence
Human personality psychology speaks about the importance of confidence in a person’s life. With faith in yourself, you can move mountains and reach unprecedented heights. Happy people believe that they can find everything they want in life; all they need is knowledge, perseverance and time to implement their plans. Everything is in the hands of man. Confidence can be strengthened with the help of a success diary - write down all the achievements in life, new achievements, positive feedback. Re-read during difficult periods of life, understanding that difficulties are temporary, you need to continue to act.
Radiate love
The ability to love the world around us is connected with self-love; when a person can take care of himself, fill his own life with joy, then he treats the people around him kindly. Naturally, a negative attitude towards oneself is also projected onto the outside world. It is important to preserve harmony in the soul, to cultivate kindness and joy, to be able to reduce the impact of stress on life, without allowing one to take anger out on others. There are other ways to relax - sports, music, favorite activities, reading literature.
The rules of psychology also speak about reciprocity in the world, love gives birth to love, and evil only destroys the world and relationships between people.
Strive for knowledge
Happy people read books, constantly strive to develop, understand the world, and acquire new knowledge and skills. They realize the importance of acquiring knowledge for a successful life; whoever owns the information owns the world. A happy person learns easily, is ready for a change of job or environment, tries not to get hung up on one action, and looks for new ways for self-realization. Although you can get joy from life by changing your attitude towards work, family, by looking for positive aspects, this is the first and necessary step.
Don't expect gratitude
The psychology of human behavior speaks of the tendency of people to forget about gratitude, therefore, when doing good, you should not expect a response. It will come from life, not always from a specific person, you need to learn to enjoy it by giving energy, attention, knowledge. And gratitude is a secondary action, does not always take place in people’s behavior and is not worth worrying about.
Be able to switch
The psychology of human life reminds us that accumulating stress is harmful; happy people live in the present moment and do not constantly store only events and thoughts in their memory. It is important, when leaving work, to forget about work, to be able to switch to household chores, and not to bring problems into the house. And at work, concentrate only on work issues. Any action must be completed and the ability to quickly switch helps maintain a feeling of happiness and health.
Be able to forgive
A happy person does not hold grudges in his soul, realizing the futility of such actions, negative thoughts only destroy life and health, it is easier to forgive, understand and move on, enjoying the good events in life. The rules of psychology also call for harmony and tranquility, and forgiveness is the path to finding inner peace.
Love to joke
A smile and laughter save you in many situations; humor helps to avoid conflicts, defuse the situation, and get out of an uncomfortable situation. Laughter, as psychologists say, prolongs life. It is no coincidence that humor saves you from troubles, helps you maintain good relationships with people, and charges you with positive energy.
Understand the mirror nature of the world
Our attitude towards people and life shapes our reality. In addition, every person teaches us something; if something doesn’t suit you or irritates you, it’s worth observing yourself, correcting your own mistakes and negative traits. Honesty, punctuality and responsibility help build trusting relationships, find love and wonderful colleagues.
Simplify your life
A happy person tries to smooth out corners, avoid conflicts, minimize troubles, and transfer everything into the realm of good and bright. Dramatizing the complexities of life only aggravates their condition and impact on a person, while a calm attitude helps to find solutions, quickly navigate the living space, and emerge victorious from any situation. It is important to understand that our problems are not commensurate with global scales, there are situations that are more complex, everything is learned by comparison. The main principle of life: “everything is fine, but the tasks of life are routine.”
The rules of psychology help determine the basic principles of life to achieve inner happiness.
It is important to live with an open heart, to be able to rejoice, to notice the bright things in life. Create happiness - tune in to a positive wave every morning, believe in yourself, love your loved ones. Then happiness will joyfully come into the house and accompany you through life, because a person who radiates light never freezes. People and life are mutual - there is a cycle of happiness and love.
The happiest life for everyone is their own; they often talk about love, friends, children, well-being, self-realization in their favorite field. All this is possible by following the rules of psychology and the principles of life of a happy person. For success you need perseverance and faith, the desire for knowledge, for love - the ability to love and give, for friendship - the ability to understand, show attention, support, for health - self-love, care and peace of mind, and also exercise.
By changing the approach to our desires, we realize: in many ways we determine life and our own achievements, which means that any desires and aspirations can become a reality with some effort. The psychology of life helps to gain important knowledge - to understand the principles of achieving success and happiness. Initially, you need to become a source of happiness, to understand what is missing for calm, peace, and confidence. Learn to create the mood of a happy, successful person.
Looking for a couple
Isn't the courtship period like a birthday?
Makhovskaya:
A bit similar. They bring you flowers, take you to a restaurant - it’s a holiday. And a certain period of posing in front of each other, portraying something of oneself is characteristic and justified here. We want to be liked, to attract attention, we want the charm to last as long as possible, we change costumes, hairstyles... But a sign of a deep relationship is still when you experience almost aesthetic delight looking at your partner, and do not experience the thrill of being admires you. “I want to see you” is the highest compliment, in my opinion.
As the relationship deepens, admiring a person is replaced by caring for him. And this second phase becomes a big test for modern people. After all, caring assumes that your position is lower. A caring person is a bit of a servant. And such a decline is difficult for the hero of social networks to withstand.
Anatoly Medved/RG. Photo: What this ancient collection of poems “The Ladies' Man” inspired readers to do, one can only guess.
But before you go into depth, you still need to be able to attract.
Makhovskaya:
I am often asked: how to attract a man? What feathers should you hang on yourself? What pheromones do you smell like? What hypnotic formulas should I pronounce?
There is a very simple thing. You need to see in front of you a non-adult guy in full gear, with cars, that’s not the point. The essence is in his hopes, plans, tastes, formed in childhood so long ago that it is difficult to change. We need to lure this inner child out of him with all his hopes and tame him.
Not a man with the help of sex technologies, but a child. This inner child is his individuality.
Wouldn't this stimulate infantile behavior?
Makhovskaya:
Infantilism, if it means weak responsibility, the desire to avoid overload, the inability to predict, a tendency towards hedonism and a life of pleasure, the desire to achieve results without making efforts, is a bad thing.
But I'm talking about infantility as a wealth of individual sensory experience and a willingness to play together - and this is a very good thing. What is love? General sensory experience.
Young people chain themselves to the sexual metaphor of relationships and sex scenes, because in cinema it is very picturesque and generally a sign of intense feelings. And I would encourage everyone to have a variety of sensory experiences. So we ate something together, you liked one khachapuri, I liked another, we exchanged pieces - this is a huge layer of shared sensory experience. This is how we understand the art of shared pleasure and shared experiences. This art is always individual.
Is individuality respected?
Makhovskaya:
As a psychologist, I often ask the question, “Which movie star or great historical figure are you like?” and I keep waiting for someone to laugh. But, alas, no. They answer in all seriousness: “I look like Nero.”
If they told me that I looked like someone else, I would have started to resist. Our generation still has the horror of losing its individuality. To implement it, on the contrary, we had to announce it to the world. Find your register and - without trying to be the first - do something extraordinary. But we were never alone, and we had social motivation. Now people are often left alone. And without the skill to share not just a piece of bread, but individual sensory experience, your experiences. And this is a basic root skill.
A person should be happy. And happiness is not the cultivation of pleasures, but shared joy. The pleasure of eating a Snickers alone cannot be called happiness.
Why do I insist on sensory exchange? On the need to touch a person, give him candy, say: look how beautiful something is. Because during such an exchange the first resonant relationships between people are born. And then culture comes into play, which also contains methods of resonance. “Understanding, sympathy” are resonant relationships.
And when two narcissists meet, then formally everything is fine, and anyone will say “a wonderful couple,” beautiful people with high social status, but the relationship is dead. Because each of them is in itself. But you won’t resonate with yourself. Will not work. It will end in artistic loneliness. Alone in front of a cold mirror.
How to create the mood of a successful person?
- Smile more often, in the morning, approaching the mirror, say: “I am a wonderful person and a successful and interesting day awaits me,” “I can easily realize all my desires,” “my life is changing for the better.” Ideally, the selected phrases are repeated 20 times for better perception at the subconscious level;
- It is useful to listen to positive music - jazz, classical, melodic rock, something inspiring to achieve feats;
- keep track of your successes, achievements, write in a diary;
- learn to find possible solutions in any situation;
- remember - it’s easier and more effective to live positively, drive away sad thoughts, and switch to the good.
The theme of a happy person in the modern world has taken on a new form - previously the search for happiness in the outside world was considered, they were looking for the bird of happiness, now a new approach has appeared - to find happiness in oneself and create it in the world around us. Such ideas are more productive, because a person can actively participate in creating his own happiness, and this is more pleasant than waiting on the shore for the favor of fortune.
We wish everyone only happiness and success in life!
Paid services of a psychologist in the social sphere
Remember! When a situation is new to you, you should wait and analyze it, weigh the pros and cons, and find a new solution that is different from what you once made in the past.
If the situation is similar, it does not mean that experience will help you out, it means that you need to act in accordance with what kind of person is in front of you.
After all, quite often after an unsuccessful relationship it can be difficult for us to succumb to feelings again and open up to new love. It seems to us that the next relationship could end in the same way; he is afraid of repeating the negative experience and thereby does not allow such a feeling as love to appear in his life.
At a psychological consultation via Skype, you will not receive advice on how to get rid of past experiences and build relationships anew. No, rather, on the contrary, a psychologist will teach you from any relationship (that you have ever had) to extract resources that you will use when entering into a new relationship, even if they are friendly. There is a belief that every event in life teaches us something, and it is very important to accept such lessons with gratitude.
Think about what your past relationships taught you, what good and useful things you can learn from them, how can this help you in the future? What did you teach your partner? Did this relationship teach other people anything? Did this relationship end prematurely or not? What could have caused such a “breakdown” in the relationship? Have you tried to “fix” them somehow? What result did this lead to?
This will allow you to take a fresh look at your past and understand that it has already played its role, preparing you for something more meaningful and important, which means it’s time to say goodbye to it. Now you are at another, higher level, and the new relationship will also be more perfect and mature.
Where to start studying psychology?
It is difficult to understand the variety of psychological literature in books. Advice from friends can be even more confusing - everyone has their own preferences, their own personal experience in studying psychological laws. Reading everything in a row is also not an option. Having stumbled upon poor-quality literature due to inexperience, you can forever discourage the desire to understand yourself.
Step 1. Motive.
The first step before diving into psychological science on your own is to understand why this knowledge is needed. So first you need to understand your motives.
Ask yourself: “What do I want to get?”:
- Understand yourself.
- Establish communication with parents, children, relatives, colleagues.
- Build harmonious relationships in the family.
- Improve communication skills.
- Achieve success in business.
- Change jobs, get a new profession.
- Learn to raise children.
To begin with, it is advisable to choose one of all the points, the most relevant. After this, you can proceed to the selection of thematic literature.
Step 2. Basic knowledge.
The second step will be to study the basics of psychology. In this case, textbooks are not suitable - they are designed for students of psychological faculties. Scientific books are written in difficult-to-understand scientific language with terms that are incomprehensible to a beginner. Therefore, for initial self-education it will be enough to read the books of the luminaries of psychological science:
- Sigmund Freud.
- Eric Berna.
- Erich Fromm.
- Carl Gustav Jung.
- Karen Horney.
Or authors who write about practical psychology in a more understandable, simplified style:
- Julia Gippenreiter.
- Paul Kleinman.
- Dale Carnegie.
- Stephen Covey.
- Valery Sinelnikov.
If you don’t want to immediately spend money on expensive literature, you can subscribe to a free email newsletter or YouTube channel:
- Practicing psychologist.
- A book publishing house that produces self-development literature.
- Specialized electronic publication.
- Motivational trainer.
The advantage of newsletters and videos is that they talk about the latest trends in science.
