It is common for a person to begin searching for himself only in those cases when it seems to him that he is “out of place.” And if this feeling has already crept into your soul, it’s time to start a “search operation.” How to find your place in life is not an easy question, but it is extremely important for each of us. You can search either by listening to your inner voice, or by following the tips of other people, or signs from above. This is equally a question of philosophy, psychology and esotericism. And everyone is free to choose whose help to resort to. This article provides basic recommendations on how to find your place in life, and tips that will help you use them correctly.
Remember what you wanted to become as a child.
There are a number of closely related concepts that from various angles contribute to the search for oneself. The first is a vocation, or a person’s inclination to one or another type of activity. The second is the search for purpose, that is, a universal mission. The third is the meaning of life, or the ultimate goal of earthly existence. So, a deep analysis of one’s childhood interests helps a person understand his own calling.
This is directly related to the goal of finding your place in life. In any case, with the direction in which we are interested in moving. And, since people are most sincere precisely in their childhood years, then memories from the past will allow you to see your present self.
A few words about personal self-realization
A person’s desire for self-realization is the highest point of his development and is at the top of desires according to the pyramid of needs of the American psychologist Abraham Maslow.
Maslow studied the psychological characteristics of people who were able to achieve success in life and identified common characteristics among them:
- They have a more developed ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality than others.
- They are comfortable with themselves as they are.
- They do not play to the public; they love naturalness and simplicity.
- They are responsible and know how to make decisions correctly.
- They are self-sufficient.
- They can more easily endure the blows of fate and various trials.
- They constantly reassess their own goals in life.
- They never cease to be amazed by what surrounds them.
- They are in harmony with themselves and feel like full-fledged individuals.
- They do not have any difficulties in learning.
- They are friendly, reserved and value a sense of humor.
- They have their own views regarding evil, good and the world in general.
- They love creativity, they constantly have new ideas.
- They are tolerant of others, but if necessary they can show determination and courage.
- They are distinguished by their devotion to friends, family, principles and ideals.
All of these are spiritual needs that rely on satisfying those lower in the pyramid. An individual will not be able to achieve peace of mind if he does not do what he likes, and then we can expect the emergence of new worries and dissatisfaction.
When a person cares about self-realization, using any of the known methods for this, or develops in the form of creativity that is close to him, self-expression of spiritual needs occurs. Each personality has many ideas, but it needs to be convinced of it.
Before addressing the needs at higher levels, it is necessary to satisfy those below.
To put it simply, a hungry person needs to find food and eat before building a shelter. If he is full, hunger and obsessive thoughts about food will not prevent him from building a shelter.
When an individual lives in comfortable, reliable and safe conditions, he initially develops needs for social contacts, and only then a desire for recognition.
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However, if the situation changes radically, the main guidelines may also change greatly. At a certain point, a person may understand that his safety needs are a priority over physiological ones, so the latter can be sacrificed.
If, after achieving primary values, an individual is faced with the threat that he may lose his job, he immediately switches to the lowest level.
If, during motivation, a manager offers an employee a social reward at a time when his security needs have not yet been satisfied, results will not be achieved, since a transition occurs directly to the third stage, bypassing the second.
If the motivation is aimed at satisfying the employee’s desire for security, then as soon as this happens, he will definitely switch to social guidelines.
It is worth noting that a person will never be able to fully satisfy his needs.
If it happens that the lower level goals are not achieved, then the individual will not be able to move on, but will remain in place until they are sufficiently, but not completely, realized.
It is the lower needs that are a kind of foundation for those at the top. Only if they are satisfied does the manager have every chance of success by motivating staff through achieving the highest goals.
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In order for the latter to change human behavior, complete satisfaction of the needs that are at the lower levels of the hierarchy is not necessary.
For example, despite the fact that physiological or safety needs may not be satisfied, the individual begins to look for his place in society long before that.
The main point of Maslow's concept is that satisfying needs on an “all or nothing” basis is impossible. As a rule, there may be a complete or partial coincidence of the needs of two or more levels at once.
Ask relatives for advice.
Sometimes childhood dreams are hidden from us by years of growing up. We just don’t remember what we played with our friends, what we dreamed of becoming when we grow up. Perhaps they were fond of drawing, or maybe they drummed on cardboard boxes or looked after chickens at their grandmother’s in the village. One's own memory only partially restores these events.
But our mom and dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, older brothers or sisters remember it much better. So you should start searching for yourself by consulting with your relatives. By asking them to refresh their memory about things that might make it easier to try to find their place in life.
Take a temperament test
Use thematic tests.
The Internet is full of all kinds of sites on psychology that strive to help all those who suffer and seek. There is nothing wrong with taking a couple of tests that offer to make it easier to find yourself. You shouldn’t blindly believe their results, but it’s also not right to refuse to pass. Simply, the more such tests a person undergoes, the higher the likelihood of a positive result. They may not give an answer, but they can suggest the appropriate direction. And the right beginning of the journey is already a good half of it.
Correlation between methods of self-realization and self-development
Self-development is the main way to realize personality. If it is regressive, then this is already self-alienation.
The opposite of development is functioning, which is duplication, that is, the reproduction of processes in an almost unchanged form. Functioning in this case acts as self-functioning.
Self-functioning in life is connected with absolutely all processes that are periodically repeated. Despite the fact that the content may be different, it is still a way of human self-realization. Based on this, its forms are direct functioning (progressive and productive).
It also has negative options:
1. Stagnation.
2. Inertia.
3. Conservatism.
4. Routine.
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Main stages of self-development:
1. Human development occurs when new processes and phenomena are observed in his life, which are determined by emerging needs, conditions and means of satisfying them. For example, these are admission to an educational institution, work, and the fight against bad habits.
2. The formation of a process is when a person’s movement is aimed at obtaining a stable, sustainable result that is new to him. After this comes formation.
3. Formation occurs when there is a purposeful influence on the process of formation.
4. The final stage of self-development is self-improvement. In this case, a person satisfies new needs with the help of new ways of activity. The goal of this stage is to realize your dreams by improving your skills and making new plans.
Read books more often.
There is no better way to understand what you want than to learn about the destinies of other people. Even fictional ones. Perhaps in one of the storylines the reader will see himself and determine exactly how to find his place in life. After all, most books are written by smart authors with fairly rich life experience. They know a lot, have witnessed a variety of stories and examples from life. Considering that many books are based on real events, the tips in them may be quite appropriate for every person.
Why is self-realization so important?
Every person from birth has the ability to realize internal reserves in one way or another. It is self-realization that plays a major role in determining personality, identifying the individual’s talents and capabilities, even those that are not obvious. Thanks to this, life in society becomes more successful and stable.
In addition, problems with self-realization may appear in childhood, which will accompany a person for many years. It is necessary to identify them and decide what requires targeted work. The biggest enemy of self-realization is stereotypes. Thinking based on them is widespread in society and is often imposed in early childhood.
Travel actively.
Sometimes the search for oneself takes a person in a completely unexpected direction. It could be a neighboring city, another region or even a country. If someone cannot find their place in life for a long time, perhaps they are simply looking in the wrong place. Probably it’s not a hobby or profession, but the environment itself. Wrong people, wrong street, wrong house and city. By changing his place of residence, a person gains, as it were, a second chance to start his life anew. And we are not talking about a banal escape from problems. On the contrary, it implies a pursuit of oneself.
Take a personality type test
Dream from time to time.
As you know, dreaming is not harmful - it is harmful not to dream. The wisdom and simplicity of this phrase is amazing. In his head, a person is absolutely free from other people's interests and desires. In a fantasy world, there are no inconvenient circumstances or excuses. In it, everyone is the master of their own destiny. And if finding yourself in reality causes a number of difficulties, you can find your place, for starters, in your own dreams.
Nobody bothers you to simply come up with your own ideal world and take the role in it that your heart desires. And when you have a clear understanding of who you really want to be, you should try to make this dream come true in the real world. After all, man is the creator of his own destiny. You just need to clearly understand in which direction to create.
How to deal with obstacles and difficulties
Thus, the FIRST PRINCIPLE of affirmation in the chosen activity is to first give society the opportunity to evaluate the fruits of their labor for free.
, the SECOND PRINCIPLE often operates . According to him, the first client always represents our own problems. One of the first (or even the very first) we receive is a dissatisfied client who destroys all our best intentions and highest aspirations. In this case, there is no need to despair.
The Universe sends us tests, testing the firmness of our decisions. So, perhaps no one will come to see the psychologist from our example during the first few days of admission. This is a kind of divine test - how much we want to engage in our chosen profession.
But such checks do not last too long - if after some time obstacles and various difficulties continue to arise, then the chosen profession is not ours, and there is no need to force society to accept us in this capacity.
Seek help from a wise person.
We are not talking only about a spiritual mentor. He could be a professional psychologist, a personal growth coach, or simply an intelligent person with rich life experience. Each of us certainly has people whom we want to turn to for advice. There's nothing wrong with doing this. After all, that’s why you need a language, to talk from time to time.
Of course, you shouldn’t fanatically follow their recommendations, but it also makes no sense to reject help. The main thing is to feel what they say will cause an internal response. Perhaps this will be the answer to the question of how to find your place in life.
How to understand your calling through practice
Before you fully devote yourself to your chosen activity, you need to try your hand at rare practice in order to track how the new work is perceived by society.
Let's say a person decides to study psychology. He talked with psychologists, felt that he was drawn to this area, but he still had doubts. To completely dispel doubts, you need to arrange a “training”.
A person announces that he hosts a free reception once a week for acquaintances, friends, relatives, anyone who wants to. The “training” period is determined, for example, 7 weeks - almost 2 months.
If people go to the reception for free, the situation will be obvious and clear. If a person is in demand and truly needed, the number of people turning to him will increase. Perhaps they will even want to thank him with money or some gifts. People will be happy.
(A friend of mine, studying to become a psychologist, followed this path. At one time, he opened the “Skype of Trust” website, where he accepted letters asking for help and consultations. His desire to help others was so strong that he consulted for free and paid at his own expense website advertising. His main work was and remains in a completely different area.)
If, on the contrary, a person made a mistake, and he is not a psychologist by nature, instead of gratitude, people will want to quickly get away from him.
Free appointment - check for a psychologist who wants to understand his calling
Expand your social circle.
Appearing among our acquaintances, new people bring with them fresh ideas and proposals. There is a whole area called networking, which helps to establish connections and expand the circle of those with whom you communicate. In fact, this method is somewhat reminiscent of reading books. Only new destinies appear not on the pages of a tome, but in the real world.
By learning something new and hitherto unknown, a person expands his worldview, thereby facilitating the search for himself. And, for example, someone, having met a bartender and learned the details of his profession, will also want to try his hand at it. Or, with a merchandiser, sommelier and a number of other original areas.
When wondering how to find your place in life, the main thing is not to give up if the answer takes a long time to arrive. After all, the more difficult the path to success, the sweeter the victory. And often thorny paths lead to maximum heights. You just shouldn’t stop searching for yourself until the result is completely satisfying. But even having received the necessary answers, it is better not to rest on the winner’s laurels for long. After all, who knows, maybe someone else will apply for this place?
Take a character test
What do you pay attention to?
Everyone experiences professional deformation over the years. Such psychological disorders are caused by external pressure and are associated with the specifics of work. To prevent this from happening to you, try to find yourself in what you love.
For example, a hairdresser first evaluates a person’s hairstyle, a psychiatrist sees disorders, and a pastry chef, instead of having fun at a wedding, will find out what technology was used to prepare the cake. What are you looking at? It is an honest answer to this question that will help reveal deeply hidden interests. How to develop it is another matter.
You can start small. For example, a housewife will sit and look at cake designs. It would seem a useless exercise, but in this way she begins to understand the issue. Over time, the woman will already consult with other confectioners, and maybe she will dare to bake something to order herself. As a result, a person does something that brings him pleasure, although she had nothing to start with and no knowledge.
