Why did I stop loving and hating my husband after the birth of my child?

• November 16, 2019
• Psychology of relationships
• Fedorova Victoria

When a relationship between a man and a woman just begins, it is full of passion and tenderness. However, such a period does not last forever. Common life, raising children and many everyday worries leave spouses neither the strength nor the time to show love. People get used to each other, and feelings fade away. However, every person, regardless of age and length of family relationships, wants to feel at least a small share of emotions. Spouses often ask how to bring feelings back into a relationship. After all, this is especially important for the family.

The main reasons for the disappearance of love in relationships

In reality, there are many reasons for a crisis to arise in a family. They are formal and real. The first include: differences in characters, social status, etc. But the real reasons are related to personality characteristics.

These include:

1. Selfishness of a man. He is not ready to give anything to the relationship, but only wants to receive.
2. Lack of separate personal space for spouses. Either one of them does not know how to give it, or the other does not know how to receive it.
3. Lack of skills or desire to negotiate with each other.
4. The desire to build your relationship not like your parents, but vice versa. They are based on the idea of ​​the family of one of the partners.
5. Complete openness of the union, when every third person can intervene in it.
6. Character traits. In this case, upbringing or some childhood trauma plays an important role. They interfere with building relationships.

When spouses ask how to bring love back into a relationship, psychologists answer that many factors influence this. Therefore, you need to work with each family separately. Not everything is always smooth in relationships, so spouses need to behave correctly. At the same time, relationships take a long time to build, but are destroyed instantly.

Men often ask specialists how to return a girl’s feelings to herself. To do this, you need to rethink your union and draw appropriate conclusions.

The husband has lost interest in his wife, what should I do?

Some speculations, illusions, and escalation of the situation begin. Chatting with friends, listening to friends' advice, and so on. So, you don’t need to do all this. Because you are thereby worsening your relationship with a man. If a man has lost interest in his wife and started to move away, this means that there is a problem in the relationship. And you can't just demand your man's attention. You must eliminate the reason that he is moving away.

How to correctly identify this reason?

First step.

You need to get your man to talk. For a good, friendly, friendly, very open and sincere conversation. You need to clarify the situation why the husband lost interest in his wife, i.e. to you. He realizes something is wrong, and you understand. Therefore, you must listen to each other, express your own vision of the situation, listen to him how he understands it all. As a result, try to come to a common opinion on how it makes sense to change your behavior.

But such situations are not always possible, i.e. the human ego does not always allow people to sit down, talk normally and at the same time come to mutual understanding. Usually mutual statements of claims begin and, as a result, resentment. If there is no trusting normal communication between you. By the way, this is a bell, an alarm, something needs to be done. There can be no great relationship without good communication.

Second step.

Therefore, if you suddenly cannot calmly come to an agreement yourself if it closes, you walk away from the contract. He responds to your suggestions with excuses. You don’t need to listen to your friends’ advice, you don’t need to invent something yourself. Find a relationship specialist, you need professional advice. Tell him that the husband has lost interest in his wife, explain the whole situation and listen carefully to what he says. After that, go and do it. Under no circumstances should you self-medicate your relationship, you will only make everything worse. You don't see the big picture, you don't understand the meaning, most likely you don't understand male psychology.

What contributes to the deterioration of relationships

Before you learn how to bring love back into a relationship, you need to find out why it is deteriorating:

• Constant quarrels. If a couple has scandals and quarrels, this leads to the disappearance of tender feelings. Spouses should not constantly conflict and insist on their own. They need to learn to give in to each other, even if one of them is wrong. It is very useful to do this.
• Changes in family composition. Often quarrels in the family become more frequent when a child is born. Sometimes the problem arises of who will look after the children if the grandmother will not do it. As a result, someone must take on the vacated responsibilities.
• Loss of trust. This can be caused by infidelity, betrayal and other factors. This is one of the main reasons for breaking trust in a couple. It can be returned over time, but both spouses must work for this.
• Destroyed hopes. Joint plans and dreams strengthen the family. Especially when it comes to buying an apartment or traveling. And it’s bad when all hopes are not met.

How to get your feelings back? Spouses must understand that relationships cannot be perfect. If everything in the family is wrong, then it is best to visit a psychologist.

Spouse's feelings

It is generally accepted that men do not suffer due to personal problems. This is fundamentally wrong. We do not see their experiences only because in our society it is not customary for a male person to show his feelings. But what is going on in their soul is sometimes much stronger and more global than the external manifestation in the form of tears and screams. And the man can now ask how to return his wife’s feelings to her husband.

Scientists have found that men can suffer from problems in their personal lives even more than women. Without demonstrating this publicly, they react more sharply to the beginning of a relationship or its discord. A positive outburst of emotions can improve their health, but negative feelings can worsen their health.

The main reason for men's suffering is the lack of trusting communication . Women endure breakups more easily, because they have someone to discuss what happened with, complain to, and have someone to tell them how to return the love of their departed husband. And men usually confide only with their partner and mother, sometimes with a close friend, which limits their ability to speak out and receive advice and the necessary support.

Men tolerate breakups more easily , but they worry much more deeply due to constant scandals. Having decided to break up easily, they at first do not realize that they had a strong emotional connection with their partner. And only after the very peak of the split do they begin to experience a feeling of emptiness that was not there before. Men who do not realize the seriousness of emotional needs, having lost relationships, end up becoming dependent on them.

This parameter and the inability to openly show one’s emotions in public, cry and suffer, hit men’s psychological health hard. Sometimes a wounded sense of self-esteem also plays a role, which also leaves its own negative imprint. As a result, unexpressed grievances turn into anger and aggression, and in advanced cases - into depression and panic attacks. It can be very difficult to return the love of your spouse at this stage.

How to get a man's love back

Women often notice that passion has disappeared. How to return your husband's feelings? To resolve this issue, you need to do the following.

Many girls, after a long relationship, believe that the man belongs to them and will not go anywhere. And this is absolutely not true. Any relationship requires constant investment, especially if you want to receive dividends.

How to get a guy's feelings back? It is important that partners have many points of contact. This could be work in the same industry or similar leisure activities. When a man enjoys fishing, a woman does not have to take part in the process itself. She can cook dinner and organize overnight stays.

It is desirable that spouses have similar culinary tastes. A woman needs to learn to cook the dishes her husband loves.

Sexual relationships are an important part of marriage. They are the key to a long and happy life. There should be no complexes in your intimate life. Spouses should receive only positive emotions from her.

How to determine your feelings for your husband: have you really fallen out of love?

You should treat the fact that your love for your husband is gone calmly and rationally. First of all, you need to understand yourself and analyze your own feelings and emotions. It is important to understand whether love is really gone or if it just seems to you.

There are different reasons for cooling off towards your spouse:

• Perhaps there is a crisis in your family. Psychologists say that it happens after three years of marriage. During the first year, a young couple gets used to each other, learns the habits of their other half and faces the shortcomings of their loved one.
• Next year, irritation may appear because the spouse turned out to be not as ideal as it seemed before the wedding. And after three years of marriage, scandals often break out and the spouses begin to sort things out. Under these conditions, many people have the feeling that the love for their other half is gone. However, a crisis is an absolutely natural stage in a relationship. The same situation will happen with a new man.

Love has passed

• You recently became a mother. Often after the birth of a child, a woman begins to feel that she no longer loves her husband. The former tenderness leaves the relationship between the spouses, intimate intimacy becomes more rare. In fact, it’s just that for a young mother, the baby’s needs become a priority. In addition, her feminine principle is supplanted by the maternal principle.
• You compare yourself with friends and acquaintances who, in your opinion, are happier in their relationships with their husbands . But every family is unique and, as you know, happy in its own way. Perhaps your relationship with your husband, although not as passionate and sensual, is much stronger and warmer than that of others. There can be no examples in love. And focusing on other people's relationships never leads to success.
• Sometimes the reason for cooling is simply boredom. When your family is outwardly prosperous, but nothing new and interesting happens in life. Life goes on in an ordinary circle, where there is no place for bright emotions and sensations. In such circumstances, you may feel that the marriage is unsuccessful and you no longer love your husband.
• Distinguish the bouquet and candy period from ordinary family life. It is clear that at the beginning of a relationship everything is always romantic and bright. And then everyday life begins, which is not so colorful: flowers are given only on holidays, trips to the theater and cinema are replaced by gatherings in front of the TV, everyday problems begin. The couple is weighed down by the burden of mutual disagreements and difficulties. During this period, a woman often thinks that love has left the relationship. In fact, the feelings did not go away, standard family life just began. The more years you live together, the more difficult it is to maintain ease of feelings towards each other.
• The reason for the cooling of your love for your husband may be your own laziness . Believing that your husband is not going anywhere, you stopped trying for him, somehow surprising him and trying to please him. And the less we invest in another person, the less we value them.
• A depressed state and an indifferent attitude towards everything can also cause thoughts that there is no love. Take tests to determine depression, consult a psychologist. Timely detection of a problem is the key to successfully getting rid of it.

What feelings
How not to get confused in such complex feelings? Ask yourself a few questions that will help you understand whether you love your husband or not:

• Do you imagine yourself being happy with him in other circumstances: in a new apartment, with more income, with a housekeeper?
• Are there qualities in your spouse that you do not accept in men: rudeness, ignorance, sloppiness, rudeness?
• If the initiative to separate came from your husband, what feelings would it cause in you: joy, pain, anger, sadness?
• What would you do if the opportunity presented itself to arrange your life in the most favorable way for you, but your significant other would feel unhappy?
• Imagine your life without your husband. Will your life really get better?

Answering these questions honestly will help you understand yourself and your relationship with your spouse. Only careful self-analysis will allow you to determine what to do next.

What to do for your spouse

Any woman must follow several rules that will help improve her relationship with her husband:

1. Men also have the right to be upset, disappointed, etc. You should not constantly criticize and scold your husband. You can jointly discuss any undertaking and consider all options for its development. In case of failure, you should not shift responsibility to your spouse. A husband and wife should be friends not only in good times.
2. If a woman marries a man who has achieved success in a certain professional field, then she needs to make every effort to further his development.

After disagreements arise in the family, you need to remove selfishness from the relationship. You should not tie your husband to the house. A man should have his own life, in which he has the right to communicate with friends or pursue his hobbies.

Women should not constantly make comments to their spouse, because there are no ideal people in the world. It is best for them to take care of their appearance or self-development.

The wife should become self-sufficient and not cling to her husband’s hand in any situation. She needs to learn to make decisions without his advice.

A friendly atmosphere should reign in the house so that a man would happily rush there after work. After quarrels and scandals, you should not make family troubles public.

What to do if a man has lost interest and lost interest in a woman?

Here is a man running after a woman, running (it doesn’t matter whether it’s an acquaintance or marriage) and suddenly he grows cold. I started running slower. He almost stopped calling too. I used to write messages on 2 pages, but now “OK” and that’s it. The conversation turns to some everyday topics and even such conversations become less frequent. I’m already silent about flowers, gifts, etc.

In general, the man grew cold towards the woman.

This happens quite often in relationships with a man, including in family life, when the husband grows cold towards his wife.

What to do? How to return, if possible, your husband’s love, his emotional and sexual attraction? (It’s better, of course, to send it, rather than bother with cooling or warming it up. But not every woman can or wants to do this, so the tips are below)

Let's look at the most common reasons for cooling men and at the same time what to do about it.

The first reason is that a man is psychologically and intellectually much stronger than a girl, more valuable in the market of men and women.

This is not the most common case, but not the rarest either.

Example one. A very beautiful girl and successful gentlemen.

Here in front of us is a beautiful girl. Maybe even very beautiful. But for some reason, she does not want to develop self-confidence, she is not interested in reading books, engaging in some kind of self-development, some kind of professional growth, she does not know how to spend money normally, she spends everything, etc.

But she's beautiful. Maybe she dances well, dresses well or something else. And, of course, many men, attracted by her appearance, fly like bees to honey, begin to court her, and live with her for some time. Some even fall hopelessly in love, but she is usually not interested in such people. (That’s the way it should be with them. Let them fall hopelessly in love)

And what happens next?

Sexual attraction gradually subsides and the man begins to look in her not only for her appearance and a girl for sex, but also for a communication partner, a woman with whom he could fall in love. A woman who could create a rear.

But if a man earns well, knows a lot, is interested in many things, has worked through a lot of his complexes, etc., then such a girl will cease to be interesting to him after a few months.

And here is the paradox. Those men with whom a girl could date and marry are not interesting to her. (After all, much richer, handsome, smart and confident men looked after her and lived with her).

She herself is interesting to rich and smart men only for a while. After a few months, they ALWAYS lose interest in her with the same consistency with which the sun sets every day.

What to do?

The answer, I think, is obvious to you. You need to either resign yourself and take a suitable man (even if not as rich, smart and confident) or become a different woman. (Well, or somewhere in the middle. That is, come to terms with it a little and change a little)

Both the first and second paths are not so difficult. But you need to understand that this is exactly the problem. Otherwise, the time for humility or change may take 10-20 years.

Again. If a beautiful girl constantly has the same problem, which is that smart, handsome and rich men “condition” and leave her after 1-3 months, then you need to consciously choose someone who is not so handsome and rich, but who is ready to marry (these are almost always present)

The second option is to change so as to become interesting to men not only sexually, but also in love, communication, etc. Read about what rich and successful men value in women and how to achieve constant respect and love in the book “19 Mistakes with Men. How to make a man respect and love you .

Example two. Cooling off for a married couple .

The principle of operation is similar, although everything is a little different here.

It happens that at the beginning of her family life a girl chose the right man for herself. And if the husband remains in love with his wife (for this it is necessary to avoid gross psychological mistakes), then, in principle, any changes in the appearance of the wife or her interests do not particularly affect the stability of the marriage. For her man, she is still the most beautiful and interesting woman.

But it happens that mistakes are still made, and constant conflicts occur. And here, when the love has subsided, the man begins to evaluate the woman not from the point of view of the man in love, but looks at her almost as one of the women.

And if she is beautiful, smart, and he understands that he is unlikely to find someone like her for himself somewhere, then he finds the strength to overcome some temporary decrease in love and attraction. And then the husband does not grow cold towards his wife, does not lose interest in her.

If everything is different, he understands that he can find a woman much more beautiful and smarter, then the conflict can smoothly turn into divorce. (Well, that’s where he belongs, of course.)

If the reason is precisely a sharp reduction in a woman’s interests and a change in appearance, then the solution is clear. We need to start regaining our beauty as much as possible, returning the interests we had before getting married. Usually you don't need much. We need to learn to value and respect ourselves again. We can discuss what specific mistakes a woman makes and how to correct them, if they are made, during an individual Consultation . Contact me, I will be glad to help you!

The second reason why a man loses interest in a woman (the most common). It is not the man who has changed for the better or the woman who has changed for the worse. It was just a woman letting a man think that he was somehow superior to her. .

Once the man felt that he was God, and the woman was extremely lucky that she had the opportunity to communicate with him, then that’s it. He almost instantly loses interest in the woman and grows cold.

Women make this mistake with enviable regularity and even with some pleasure. I write constantly that a man is not a god at all, but an ordinary person, as a rule, a little worse than the woman he is dating or living with, but articles and books do not always help. Women and girls, with enviable tenacity and some kind of savory pleasure, continue to pamper and extol their husbands or boyfriends. Read “A man is not a Divine, no need to pamper him.”

Some examples of this behavior:

— A girl tells a man that she loves him when the man himself did not say so himself..

I have already written about this several times. There is nothing wrong with being the first to confess your love if the man is even more in love with you. But this is only in theory. In practice, a girl in love is mistaken about a man’s feelings in 9 out of 10 cases. As a rule, she is in love, and the man just likes the girl and nothing more.

Therefore, an almost strict rule is to reveal your feelings only to the extent that the man clearly shows them.

If you make a mistake, the result is an almost instantaneous cooling of the man.

Such cooling is difficult to treat and not always successful. The only recipe is to completely ignore the man for several months. Ignore even any attempts by him to communicate. Only if he openly runs around and confesses his love, then you can meet him halfway.

Therefore, it is better to follow the rules. I repeat, women are extremely often mistaken about a man’s feelings. Almost always. Therefore, confessing your love to him is a road to nowhere. And I'll clarify. Not only to confess your love, but to take some steps, perhaps not as significant as a declaration of love, but still allowing a man to understand that a man is very important to a woman. Let him confess, run, etc. Read about this in the book “Never run after a man, let Him run after you.”

What if a man does nothing? Take a step forward (if you really can’t wait) and retreat forever if there is no reaction. This means that you are not as important to him as you think.

— A man begins to show some signs of disrespect towards a woman. For example, he is rude, late for a meeting, ignores simple requests . The woman does not react or, even worse, encourages this behavior .

A woman does not respond to these signs of disrespect - this is a very serious mistake. Sometimes, even worse, she tries to “appease” the man by giving him much more than usual food, attention, compliments, sex, etc. (Once again, this is a very serious mistake on the woman’s part)

And then the man “thinks” (with something, but not with his brain, of course) that this is how he should behave with this woman. You need to behave disgustingly with her and then she will behave well with him. I agree, men’s logic is stupid, but this is often what happens.

Sooner or later, a man will grow cold towards such a woman, even if she does not pay attention to the outright disrespect and tries more and more for him.

This should be obvious to you from what I wrote earlier in my articles. A man cannot love a woman whom he does not respect. This goes against his psyche . (On the contrary, it can. That is, respect and not love)

What to do in this case?

In short, it is obvious that you need to do the opposite.

That is, if a man is rude and ignores your simple requests, then you should not try to appease the man, but you should let him understand that such behavior will not be encouraged at all. There will be less communication, less attention, less delicious food, less sex, etc. Up to separation on your initiative. This is the only way a man will sooner or later feel respect for a woman and love will return.

If you are closer to practice, then you felt disrespect. (In order to feel this, you actually need a certain self-confidence. Therefore, it needs to be developed. How to become more confident, see the book “How to become more self-confident in 3 months” )

At a minimum, immediately show your dissatisfaction. Let it be your facial expressions, reducing communication or stopping altogether, if possible.

Let it be that you don’t cook dinner for him, maybe you don’t listen to him, maybe you directly say that it’s unpleasant for you if he pretends that he doesn’t understand, etc.

— A woman just constantly spoils a man.

I won’t write in detail here, since I’ve already written about 10 times, although the topic is very important and the error is common. You can read about pampering and pity for a man in the book “12 Secrets of Managing a Man. . "

I’ll just repeat that you can’t pamper a man, he needs to be kept strict. He begins quite quickly to “think” that since they treat him like this, then he is a “star”. His ego gets inflated and it can be extremely difficult to deflate it back later. (in relation to you, at least)

Of course, if a man became a “star” because of your pampering, and they came down to you and allowed you to be close, then there is no need to talk about any respect and love.

Very soon he will lose interest in the woman.

At the same time, I repeat, the real advantages of a woman (beauty, intelligence, ability to communicate) do not play a special role. After a divorce, a man can find a woman who is 5 times less beautiful, less intelligent and be happy with her.

— A woman needs a man much more than a man needs a woman.

The very fact that a woman needs a specific man is not bad, but rather natural. (Otherwise they would not have met by definition) It is clear that she needs communication, attention, sometimes gifts, some kind of help in business, etc.

And, accordingly, a man needs a woman. He also needs sex, communication, etc. If a man and a woman are in love with each other, then they can communicate with each other for hours every day and this will only make them both better.

But if a woman, for example, needs to communicate with a man at this stage of the relationship 10 hours a week (this is not just about dating. In a family this manifests itself even more clearly), and a man needs a maximum of 5 hours a week (the numbers are relative), then a problem arises. skew.

A woman needs much more communication than a man. Not necessarily communication, of course. She may need more support, more sex than a man can give, and most often, emotional affection (love in essence) than a man can give at all or at the moment.

And if there is such a bias, then the cooling of the man will occur by definition. A woman will constantly, as it were, “beg” for attention, meetings, communication. It is clear that it is difficult to love a person who is constantly begging for something and usually becomes cold. This is often why a husband loses interest in his wife.

What to do in this case?

The answer is obvious. You need to use willpower to reduce your demands on a man. If attention or communication, support is not enough, then learn to receive it from other people or support yourself.

All the same, the path of constant begging is a dead end for relationships. The man will still grow cold and leave. He will simply go to nowhere, to his mistress or somewhere else. If there is a family and children, then maybe there will be no divorce, but he will withdraw into himself, be constantly at work, and ignore requests. (“forget”, “busy”, etc.)

— A woman does not understand where and how she can influence a man, and where it is better not to interfere.

I don’t know if you have had close contact with “ordinary” people who like to ask questions that clearly go beyond the communication distance. If you have, then you can see for yourself that people shy away from them, and successful and sought-after men avoid such women.

For example, if we are talking about girls, then these could be questions or opinions like these.

- When will you get married?

— And when will you have children, because the age is already approaching?

— How much is your salary?

- Why are you dating him, because he...?

— You can borrow 1000 rubles. before payday? No, why?

But in fact, men also have a lot of areas of life where he does not allow all women and those areas that he considers his own in principle and, accordingly, does not allow anyone there at all.

A woman who, due to a lack of understanding of male psychology or a lack of understanding of a particular man, tries to influence something that should not be influenced, will face a conflict and usually not as fast as in previous cases, but essentially an inevitable cooling of the man.

For example, a man works independently and believes that a woman cannot give him any advice on work. If a woman tries to interfere in a man’s work, then conflict and cooling await her. (Here work is something where a man doesn’t let anyone in)

The second example, part of which has already been given, is a man and a woman starting to date. He considers his house to be his territory for now. Only him. A woman, due to her psychology, can quickly penetrate his territory, start rearranging something there, changing, criticizing, stopping by his apartment without an invitation (or staying overnight), etc.

Clearly this will cause explicit or implicit conflict. (implicit - this man may be very dissatisfied, but will not say anything out loud, and then simply either break up or at least keep his distance).

EVERY man has areas of his life where he either does not allow a woman or allows limited access. (limited means to look, not to criticize or direct)

This could be relationships with relatives (clan), maybe his dreams, work, his home, his free time, his hobbies, etc.

Since everything here is very individual, highly dependent on the time of communication, on the woman herself and her understanding of the limited influence on some areas of a man’s life, I cannot even give any average guidelines.

After all, one man discusses his deepest dreams with his beloved and does not consider it something special, while listening to wishes, criticism, etc. Even the second question on this topic can be perceived aggressively.

In general, the average woman wants to lead a man. After all, he doesn’t understand here, he forgets something there, here and there. The desires are reasonable and good. You must definitely stand up for your desires. But often, as a result of her leadership, she enters those areas of life where a man does not allow himself to be led or does not want to.

The second option is that a woman in joint affairs (rest, raising children, repairs, etc.) does not take into account the desires of a man, since she knows better how to do it (that is, she ignores the desires of a man).

The result is a “cooling” of the husband towards his wife, which manifests itself in the form of communication distance, ignoring requests, outright sabotage of her plans, separation from the man, etc.

What to do if the husband has grown cold and lost interest in his wife?

You need to understand that any man has his own desires and there are areas of life that he considers his own, or at least those where his opinion is the main one. An attempt to actively lead a man often leads to the fact that a woman ceases to understand where she can actively influence, where she can listen, and where it is better not to interfere.

Try to focus on your own affairs (and not just manage your man). In joint matters (how to spend time, repairs, where to live, raising children), be sure to accept and take into account his opinion.

In those areas of life that a man considers more his own and does not ask for advice (his friends, his relatives, his work, his free time), limit your influence mainly to those issues that directly affect you, where a man asks for advice, or do not interfere at all .

Difficult? Do you feel like you know better how to live and what to do, but your man doesn’t know how to do anything?

Then imagine that your man doesn’t care about your opinion and does everything only as he sees fit. He constantly creeps into your life with unsolicited advice, to your friends with complaints, delves into your dreams, diaries, under the pretext that he knows better how to live and what to do where. What if he really knows everything better? What if you depend on it?

How will your reaction change under those circumstances, if a man really knows everything better than anyone, and you are dependent on him? Usually nothing. It doesn’t matter whether a man knows better what to do, whether he is smarter in everything, whether you depend on him or not, you will most likely “cool off” and close yourself to the maximum. Obviously, your husband (man) will do the same. (Not always, of course. There are women who prefer to have everything done for them and everything decided).

As a result , a man loses interest and “cools” towards a woman for various reasons. The most common ones are outlined above and briefly advice on what to do. The purpose of this article is not only advice, but for you to understand your mistake. And, for example, they did not continue to cajole a man when he needed to move away from him in every sense of the word. Or they didn’t try to lead a man more effectively, when, on the contrary, you need to learn to share responsibility at least in those areas of life that he considers his own, etc.

In general, determine the reason for the man’s “conditioning” and act. You will definitely succeed. If you cannot cope with the situation on your own, seek advice. The mistakes made with clients have already been corrected more than once, and the man began to again show interest and love for the woman.

Article protected by copyright and related rights. When using or reprinting material, an active link to the women's website sun-hands.ru is required! Best regards, Rashid Kirranov.

Why does a woman's love fade away?

No matter how attached a woman is to her husband, there are some things that cause her to fade away her previous feelings. To bring romance back into a relationship, you need to find out what led to the rift. And then eliminate the cause.

When a man asks a specialist how to return his wife’s cooled feelings, he needs to understand that a lot of factors influence this. As you know, passion fades over time. Psychologists consider this a natural process. Hot love in normal family relationships is replaced by tenderness, responsibility for each other and affection. Sometimes things happen differently. When love leaves, nothing appears to replace it in a woman’s heart.

The following circumstances are to blame for this:

1. Husband's inattention. After a hard day at work, the spouse wants to relax, and not listen to the problems of others or carry on a conversation. This most often leads to mutual inattention, and over time, to indifference. Therefore, men, despite being tired, should find time for a sincere conversation with their wife.
2. Coarseness. Most often, when various problems arise, men take out their anger and dissatisfaction on their wives. This can seriously worsen family relationships. Some of the women react negatively to this. Others accumulate pain and resentment inside, and then suddenly break off all relations with such a spouse.
3. Lack of care on the part of a man. Quite often in families, a woman carries heavy bags of groceries, negotiates repairs, saves for a vacation for the whole family, and provides for the children they share. As a result, she develops a complete rejection of her husband. A woman often has thoughts: why does she need such a man? After all, she copes with everything very well herself.
4. Lack of common interests between spouses. When a husband and wife like different films, music and books, this gradually alienates them from each other. To get closer, it is important that they have a common cause. This could be joint trips to pick mushrooms, home renovations on our own, etc.

A man often wonders how to return her feelings if they have cooled down. There are many ways to do this. After all, a man knows his wife like no one else. And so he will definitely find something that will please her. Any woman will like attentiveness and care.

Lack of spousal help

When people have children, the responsibility for raising them most often falls on the shoulders of the mother. From that moment on, she is haunted by a consuming fear that she will not cope, that she will not be able to become perfect. The chosen one does not participate in caring for the baby at all, or does it at the request of a million. Then the woman realizes that her husband has begun to irritate her.

Not everyone can cope on their own, especially when before this the parent only cared for herself.

Lack of support from a strong side threatens serious problems in the family.

During this difficult period, a loved one should become a reliable support and support. We conceived a child together, which means we need to raise it together. Mom must understand that she is not alone, she has someone to turn to and this person will definitely help.

Read also: After giving birth, desire disappeared and libido decreased. What should a wife do?

Naturally, the breadwinner earns money, thereby getting tired at work. But the wife doesn’t sit idle all day. Both get tired, but that’s what family is for, to complement each other, to be together in sorrow and in joy.

There is a list of actions that can lead to discord. The stronger half of humanity should not practice:

• categorical refusal to help;
• reproaches;
• avoiding conversations;
• comparison with other mothers;
• coercion for intimacy.

These actions can lead to hostility and further divorce.

How to return your wife's feelings: advice from a psychologist

Women love to talk a lot, it is inherent in them by nature. No matter how tired a man is, he needs to talk to his wife for at least 15 minutes. During the conversation you can find out a lot of interesting things. These may be the reasons why a marriage breaks down. Perhaps the woman has problems with work or health. After all, it’s impossible to understand this without talking.

How to return your wife's cooled feelings?

1. Every woman has her own burden of grievances. If she does not free herself from them, then negative feelings will continue to eat away at her soul. Immediately after a quarrel, the husband should not ask about the reasons for the upset. It should take a little time. As a result, the signs of frustration will go away, and the man can learn about the offense and find the right words for reconciliation. Even if your spouse says unpleasant things, you don’t need to stop her and argue with her. The husband should ask what solutions to the problem she sees.
2. Women are often offended that their spouse rarely gives flowers or gifts. Men should not forget memorable dates. Even a small gift will find a warm response in a woman’s soul. Flowers or chocolate can lift even the worst mood.
3. Women need romance. Typically, warm relationships are present only in the first years of marriage. And then routine and routine lead to the fact that spouses become bored with each other. A man needs to find free time and visit theaters, cinemas, restaurants with his wife, and also travel.
4. Women need to be praised more often. After all, it won’t be difficult for a man to notice his wife’s beautiful hairstyle or her new dress.
5. Action is the best way to show your love. A man must help with housework, repairs and provide for the family financially.

Men often ask how to return their wife's cooled feelings. A good result comes from a joint visit to a psychologist. Perhaps the woman herself has been considering this option for a long time, but does not know how to offer it. Many men are afraid and do not want to go to a psychologist to solve their difficulties. They prefer to get bogged down in their own problems rather than let strangers into their affairs. If you suggest that your wife visit a psychologist together, this can make her happy. This will be seen as an attempt to save the marriage.

Fatigue as a reason for constant quarrels

When we are tired, our stress resistance suffers greatly. Irritation becomes a constant companion, and even the most ordinary things can cause an exaggerated reaction. Chronic lack of sleep turns life into an endless series of identical days. The colors around are darkening, there are only a number of responsibilities and worries that must be performed day after day. This can develop into postpartum depression, which will make the life of the household unbearable.

There is not enough time that you want to devote to yourself, there is no opportunity to spend an hour or two with friends, frequent mood changes, you constantly want to close your eyes for a few minutes and lie down in complete silence. If at this moment the parent does not have a strong shoulder nearby or a helping hand in the form of her own chosen one, then she begins to look for shortcomings in him, to be offended by the slightest mistakes.

Read also: How long before you need to visit a gynecologist after giving birth? Why inspection?

The only joy is the support and help of loved ones. At such moments, great efforts must be made so that the mother can be left to herself for at least some time. You should get enough sleep at least sometimes, spend time as before: read a book, watch a movie, go to a cafe, paint your nails, in the end. Dad must take on the responsibilities of caring for the baby at least once a week, otherwise conflicts will develop into everyday life and become commonplace.

If a young father spends most of the day at work and cannot find a day or two to look after the baby, then one should not neglect the help of grandparents. This will help both parents relax and spend a long-awaited day off alone.

Time for relaxation must be in the schedule so that the woman knows that just a little more and she can relax.

What is not recommended to do

When psychologists are asked how to get a relationship back, they do not recommend throwing quarrels and tantrums. This is very annoying and can push a man to break up.

Women should not blackmail their spouse with the idea that he will not be able to see their common children. There is no need to involve third parties in clarifying the relationship: parents, relatives or neighbors.

A public showdown of relationships does not help improve them, but leads to a man’s anger and pushing him away from his wife.

Recommendations from experts: how to start building relationships

Establishing family relationships is quite difficult, but first the spouses need to understand them. To do this, you need to answer the following questions:

1. What do spouses expect from a relationship - romance or something more serious? If the latter, then the couple must agree on joint actions. After all, it’s not at all difficult for adults to solve this problem.
2. Is your home in good condition? If yes, then this will be the solution to all problems. Therefore, it is especially important that the house is always comfortable.
3. Is each spouse ready to take and give? If not, it will cause big problems in the future.

When women ask specialists whether it is possible to return feelings, they receive an affirmative answer. Only this will require a lot of effort from both spouses.

How to build renewed relationships

When psychologists advise spouses on how to bring love back into a relationship, they ask them not to allow it to cool down in the future. Women need to maintain high levels of mutual understanding and intimacy.

We should not forget that each partner must have a personal territory. There, each spouse can be alone, thinking about their problems or watching movies.

Partners should have the right to make mistakes. Therefore, there is no point in scolding each other for this.