Crisis of 1 year in a child: what to do about it

Many parents notice that their children become more capricious as they approach one year of age. Usually they refuse to eat or sleep, cry, are stubborn about little things, do not let their mother leave their side, etc. What is the reason for such changes? All this is a child’s 1 year crisis. It begins around the age of ten months and can last almost six months, and sometimes a year. It is not at all difficult to determine the first age crisis in a baby, since it has a number of its own characteristics and signs. But moms and dads shouldn’t worry about the strange behavior of their beloved child at all. You don’t need to think that this is how the baby wants to show his character. This is just one of the periods in the life of every little one. And your primary task is to help your child cope with all the difficulties of this transitional moment.

2 Signs of a crisis
3 Causes of the problem
4 Duration
5 How to cope: advice from psychologists
6 What not to do
7 Should you be afraid of the crisis of the first year?
8 Video: “Naughty children” - Komarovsky

When does the crisis begin and how long does it last?

The approximate onset of the 1st year crisis is between 9-12 months and lasts until approximately 16-18 months. As a rule, the onset of problems coincides with the onset of upright walking. For each toddler, these periods are individual; for some particularly phlegmatic children, the crisis of one year may not manifest itself very clearly. The main feature of this period is a change in the baby’s behavior.

When does this happen?

According to the child development calendar, all children experience this phenomenon between approximately 9 and 18 months. And this is not surprising.

A crisis always accompanies a person’s ascent to a new level of independence. That is why children experience crises at one year, three, seven years, and the transition period, which lasts from 12 to 14 years.

At the age of about a year, the baby moves into a vertical position and begins to move no longer in a stroller or crawling, but in the same way as adults. He is interested in trying out his teeth and touching everything with his hands in this new world for him.

And now he is already making a scandal about any reason - he defends his gastronomic tastes, rejects new clothes, putting mom and dad at a dead end at every step. But this is just the beginning!

Signs of a one-year-old child's crisis

Tearfulness and hysterics, screams and tears for any reason. The baby can even fight with his fists or knock his legs on the floor. Particularly inventive little ones fall to the floor and fight in hysterics.
Disobedience and stubbornness. Reluctance to bathe, dress, or eat food offered.
A painful desire for independence.
Aggression and resentment. Acute reaction to prohibitions and comments.
Contradiction and inconsistency. The little one wants one thing, then another, and then, having received what he wanted, he loses interest in it.

What communication methods should you avoid?

The one-year crisis is a stage that is difficult not only for the child, but also for the close adults around him. A mother who spends every day with a big-ass brawler experiences a colossal burden that is very difficult to cope with. It takes a lot of effort to remain calm, understanding, and supportive. Remember that the baby is learning to live in new conditions for him, hysterics and disobedience are not an attempt to manipulate, but the next stage of development, which the immature organism copes with in the ways that are available to it. Having adapted to the changed reality, the little man will become more flexible, calm, obedient, and some calm will come. To survive a crisis with less stress, avoid relationship-damaging behavior patterns:

Pressure, use of physical punishment, harsh communication with the baby. Screaming, spanking and attempts to “crush with authority” and force to obey will lead to fear on the part of the child and a huge feeling of guilt on the part of the adult.
Prohibition on independent actions. Even unintelligent, helpless children need the opportunity to do something themselves; this is the path to learning, development, and trusting relationships with loved ones.
Permissiveness. Excessive liberality undermines the child’s value system. When everything is possible, it’s scary; the stability and stability of the world around us disappears. Children definitely need frames.

Tell your child what is prohibited in a calm, even voice, without a smile, outside the game. Each “no” will have to be repeated several dozen times every day, be consistent and serious.

Fragmentation of views of adult family members. Grandmothers should be on the same page as mom and dad. Various demands will disorient the child and make it difficult to overcome the crisis.
Complete isolation on the child. Seeing adults who are passionate about their own affairs, the baby learns to occupy himself independently and respect other people's time and space. And for mom, the opportunity to drink tea alone or go for a massage will protect her from burnout and depression. 9
Toxic behavior. Watch how you communicate with each other. Raising a child is, first of all, raising oneself. Kids very quickly absorb methods of interaction and words, especially those that are pronounced emotionally and loudly. The key to children’s psychological comfort is the love and respect of parents for each other. Spend time on your relationships, show tenderness, affection, care, say pleasant words.

What is the reason for the crisis of 1 year?

Developmental psychology associates the crisis of a child’s 1st year with the baby’s first steps. When a toddler begins to walk, the whole world around him changes. Until recently, he had imperfect vision; he could neither stand nor sit. His brain worked completely differently and gradually accumulated information about the world around him. But the toddler learned to sit, then crawl, he realized that the world around him was multidimensional, and not flat, as it seemed, lying on the crib. The awareness that each object is special to the touch, that it has a certain color, size and function, makes the baby’s nervous system work hard. New skills combined with active brain activity encourage the baby to communicate with his parents. He wants to express his dissatisfaction or ask for an item. The baby already knows the names of some things, understands that people communicate through speech, but he himself cannot yet speak, and this upsets him.

Another important reason is the desire to do everything yourself. Now that the little one is already walking on his own legs, he wants to do everything himself. He has already developed his own tastes; he does not want to wear the blouse that his mother gives him, preferring other clothes. The baby wants to feed himself, and although he still does not know how to eat from a spoon, he is already diligently repeating after the adults.

Remember that copying adult behavior is a natural process. At an early age, children try to talk on the phone like mom and dad, and in adolescence they already want to smoke like mom and dad.

At this stage, the toddler has a great interest in the world around him, he strives to touch and taste everything. This leaves parents in shock. The little one can take daddy's hammer and tap it on the TV. With such actions, the child does not want to cause harm, he simply copies the behavior of the father; for the baby there is no fundamental difference between hammering a nail and hitting the monitor.

Often babies want to touch something hot or spicy. Remember that adults are not so much smart as they are experienced; they have been burned many times, fallen, been stabbed with needles and, thus, have accumulated a lot of information about the world around them. Children who grew up under one year old in greenhouse conditions do not understand at all that there are dangerous objects. And words like hot or prickly don’t evoke any emotion in them until they get burned and pricked.

Signs

A child’s 1st year crisis does not always begin at the same time.

For some it may be earlier as early as 10 months, and for others 2-3 months after a year. However, developmental psychology is confident that a crisis cannot be avoided. The onset of this condition can be determined by the following signs:

The child perceives all comments very negatively , especially prohibitions.
Baby's behavior is inconsistent

He asks for one thing or another and immediately gives it up.

The child is capricious , crying, screaming, stamping his feet.
The baby refuses to carry out sequential actions that he previously treated calmly

For example, he doesn’t want to get dressed, doesn’t want to bathe, and sits on the potty.

The baby's peaceful sleep is often disturbed
The child tries to do everything on his own , even if it doesn’t work out.
Sometimes the situation is the other way around, the child does not want to do anything himself

Even if he knew how to do it before.

The baby requires more attention , to be looked at, played with, etc.
Many one-year-old children develop a fear of losing their mother

They demand that she be near her all the time and do not let her go anywhere for a minute.

Each child has its own characteristics and manifestations of the crisis may differ both in signs and in the degree of their manifestation. Therefore, every parent, knowing the character of their child, will be able to see changes in his behavior.

Usually, at the age of 1, a child masters a very important skill - learning to walk, but for some, the development of this ability is delayed. Read what time a child begins to walk independently in our next article.

How does a baby feel during the 1-year crisis?

During this difficult period, the baby wants to communicate and explain to his parents what he needs, but he does not always succeed. The little one becomes capricious not out of bad character, so he communicates with you using all the methods available to him. He cries when he doesn’t want something, or, on the contrary, cries when he demands what he wants.

Newborn babies calmly tolerate bathing, eat what they are given, and do not become capricious when changing a diaper. This happens because they don’t care what color the vest is or what mixture they eat, they are subject only to basic instincts and cry when they are in pain, hot, cold, etc. Things are different with a growing toddler. Parents should remember how they themselves feel when they have to get up early for work or go to the shower when they are very tired, but still need to wash themselves. We fight our laziness and know what “should” is. Kids cannot and do not want to control themselves. Therefore, when changing clothes, they squeal, they are unpleasant when mom puts on a blouse with a tight neck, or they refuse to get out of the bathroom, because it’s interesting there and they can splash water.

Tantrums do not bring any pleasure to the child; on the contrary, they exhaust him; he simply has not learned to control his behavior and psychological state. Therefore, when the baby screams and hits his head on the floor, try to understand the reason for this behavior and do not rush to scold him. An emotionally exhausted child will not take his mother’s remark for granted, he will cry even more. Find a compromise with your baby, distract him from the thing he wants to take.

How to behave: advice from psychologists

There are parents who intuitively feel the crisis of 1 year and try to help their child overcome it. This is better than blaming everything on teething or a bad temperament. However, mistakes along this path cannot be avoided, because in some moments only developmental psychology will help to correctly understand the needs of the baby.

The correct behavior for parents in this situation is to know in advance about the upcoming crisis and prepare for it as much as possible. This means that you need to study the relevant material on the topic (reasons, signs and what to do). With the development of the Internet, child psychology has become accessible to everyone. If you have any questions or problems, you should seek help from a specialized specialist.

So, what do child psychologists advise parents to do when a child enters the phase of the first age crisis in his life?

Do not rush headlong to see a psychologist or psychotherapist. The 1-year crisis is considered one of the mildest and does not require special correction, much less treatment.
Accept the child as an independent person and expand the range of his rights (you can give him the opportunity to choose his own toys).
Continue to follow the previously established daily routine, despite the whims, but do this through play and not through violent methods.
Develop a child: expand his boundaries (buy a walker), provide food for the intellect (with the help of games), train hand motor skills.
Provide him with household safety, taking into account his increased curiosity (do not prohibit him from poking his fingers into the socket, but put a lock on it).
Teach independence: let him wash himself, eat, dress himself - slowly and incorrectly, but he will be satisfied with his own importance and will quickly learn to do all this.
Do not deprive him of feedback: if he speaks to you in his own language, try to understand what he wants to convey to you, and be sure to respond to any babble with words, gestures and facial expressions.
Get used to the words “should” and “don’t”. Moreover, all prohibitions must be strict, unshakable and observed by all family members.
Show your love: talk kindly, hug, kiss, look into the eyes.

10 “don’ts”: a reminder for parents

And psychologists offer one more small reminder to parents. From 8 to 15 months it is strictly forbidden to:

Raise your voice: all prohibitions should be explained calmly, using games.
Follow the child’s lead and indulge his whims: taboos should not be broken under any circumstances.
Make him the center of the universe.
Deprive him of independence: decide what he can do on his own at this age.
Ignore his actions and words: close contact and direct communication are mandatory.
Panic: patience and calmness of parents is the key to the normal mental development of a child at any age.
Disturb the daily routine.
Weaning: you need to do this either earlier or later.
Mom should not go to work: the same as the previous “no” option.
Place your child in kindergarten or hire a nanny for him.

Conclusion fifth. The main rule for parents during this period is to accept the child as an independent person and help him overcome contradictions and survive the crisis without hysterics and nervous breakdowns. This will require coordinated work of all household members and a lot of patience, but believe me: it’s worth it.

Changes after the crisis of 1 year

At the end of the crisis of one year, the baby is already confidently on his feet, he has mastered walking well.
He learned to communicate with others using facial expressions, gestures and the first conscious sounds.
If during the crisis of 1 year the little one was overprotected, then he may remain capricious. But in most cases, children become calmer and more balanced.

How to understand a child during a crisis period?

Every parent must understand that this stage of child development is inevitable. Any child is forced to learn to interact with the world around him, to identify himself in it, and to slowly assimilate what is allowed to him.

During this period, psychologists advise parents to give the child the opportunity to exercise independence. Even though your baby will get dirty when he eats, he should still do it on his own.

It is also necessary during this period to establish the boundaries of permitted actions and formulate prohibitions. Moreover, the prohibitions should concern only the safety of the baby. Despite growing up, what was previously prohibited must remain the same and, vice versa.

Psychologists advise using games as one of the elements of education. This is how gaming activities make it easier to overcome any crisis. Games may include the following manipulations: acting out performances on the topic of safety (how this can affect toys), thinking about similar topics, searching for analogies in real situations.

Also during this period, one of the important aspects is conversation, the development of speech through the name of objects, emotions and feelings using facial expressions and gestures. This is when children try best to copy adults, which is why psychologists recommend teaching them through their own experience.

What not to do during the 1st year crisis

Don't rush to scold your child. His actions may only be of an educational nature. And since he already perfectly reads emotions and understands that his mother is screaming at him, the baby can become even more capricious and nervous. This does not mean that you shouldn’t, in principle, make comments; sometimes you even need to instructively and dryly explain to the baby that he is wrong. But you shouldn’t yell at your baby a hundred times a day.
Don’t tell your child from an early age that you can’t do it because you’re small, but we can do it because we’re adults. Try to explain that with a mixer, mom only whips cream or makes an omelet, that is, she cannot play with it or beat the fish in the aquarium. Of course, at this age, persuasion is not very effective; the baby just wants to take something and screams. But now try to explain to him why you do not allow something or why it is dangerous. Over time, this will bear fruit.

Do not spoil the baby and do not indulge all his whims, otherwise he will manipulate you until old age.
Try not to quarrel with each other, at least in front of the child; the hysterical screams of parents negatively affect the psyche of the baby.
I would like to pay special attention to the bad habits of parents. If you don't want your little one to imitate smoking by putting a pencil in his mouth, get rid of this habit. Realize for yourself that you smoke not because you are adults and you can, but in fact, you are ruining your health. This applies to both alcohol and obscene words; keep in mind that the first words of children of swearing parents may be bad words.

What happens to behavior

The typical behavior of a child experiencing his first transitional stage is characterized by impulsiveness, stress, and inconstancy. Inexplicable things happen every day that can unsettle the most cold-blooded parents:

The little one becomes extremely touchy, sensitive, and vulnerable. He gets offended, cries, makes trouble, but you just can’t figure out the reason.
The mood changes frequently and unexpectedly, instantly jumping from one extreme to another. Now he cries, the next minute he laughs, and so on all day long.
There is a strong fear of losing sight of the mother; it is impossible to explain to the child that he needs to be with his dad or grandmother, and the mother needs to go away.

Some parents prefer to disappear unnoticed while the baby is busy. However, this method of organizing absences is fraught with the risk that the baby will lose confidence in his mother and will stick to her even more strongly, driven by a panicky fear of losing his closest person. Psychologists recommend coming up with a farewell ritual: mom says “bye,” kisses, leaves some of her little things, explains where she went and when she will return. When talking to your one-year-old son or daughter about the time you will return, use expressions like “after you wake up/eat cottage cheese/return from a walk” and be sure to keep this promise. This type of interaction creates trust; over time, the little one will learn to let you go painlessly, happily wave his hand and run about his business.

There comes a period of obvious testing of the boundaries of what is permitted. Godovas is stubborn, does not obey, as if he is deliberately violating prohibitions, and refuses to obey. Hence the contradictory behavior: sit down to eat - no! - ok, then go play - no, ah! He asks for a certain toy, but upon receiving it, he immediately throws it away. He wants to go for a walk, but does not allow himself to be dressed.
The little man shows aggression towards relatives and strangers - he hits, bites, and pinches.
The first “I myself!” are starting right now. The suddenly discovered ability to move freely in space opens up a lot of unexplored possibilities, the child climbs everywhere, opens doors, throws out all the objects he can reach, demands to be given a spoon with food, and he can do all these manipulations non-stop all day, unlike from a mother who collapses from fatigue by lunchtime.

Many children are prone to tears, hysterics, total “mom dependence” and beyond any crisis. This is often due to the course of pregnancy, childbirth, and the characteristics of the first hours of a newborn’s life. Research shows that the development of the child’s psyche occurs very quickly, spasmodically, a little person absorbs a huge amount of information every second, all this is a powerful load that the child’s body does not yet know how to cope with. The ability of parents to accept their child, his emotions, the ability to be close, support and trust will help to learn this.

What do we have to do

The crisis of the first year of a child’s life is designated in psychology as one of the most important stages of development. A lot depends on how you behave with your child. And how he will endure this crisis, and how he will behave in the future.

To prevent the baby from being injured, remove all dangerous objects from his reach. The TV, computer and other equipment should be placed on stable furniture and high enough. Heavy objects should be placed where the baby cannot reach them. If the baby can reach the iron cord, he will definitely pull it over his head. Therefore, in order not to worry about your baby and not control his every step, protect your little one. Freedom and independence are very important for a baby at this age.

In order for the child to develop the concept of dangerous objects, some experts recommend allowing the child to have negative experiences under the supervision of parents. For example, lightly pricking yourself with a needle or touching a fairly hot cup. At the same time, constantly repeating that it is hot or prickly. Just don’t overdo it in trying to show all the dangers that everyday objects conceal.
It makes no sense to say that these vitamins are tasty and healthy, but these white pills are dangerous. For the baby they are the same, so remove everything that cannot be tasted out of sight.

Gradually we came to the most painful topic - whims and hysterics. Unfortunately, we cannot give 100% valid advice for mothers on how to quickly calm the baby. Because such recommendations simply do not exist. You need to stock up on great patience and with every tantrum of the baby, remain calm and try to show your child in a playful way how to behave. If he doesn't want to bathe, put a rubber ducky in the bath, bathe him together, then dry him with a towel, give the toy a massage and put him to bed. Perhaps the baby will want to take a swim himself. If the baby does not want to wear a bib for feeding, put the same one on mom and dad, and show by example how to behave.
After a short separation from her mother, for example, when she went shopping, the baby may stick to her and not let go for a long time. The toddler can hang on his feet, bite and prevent him from doing everyday things. In this case, play with your baby for at least half an hour. When he sees that his mother is nearby, that she pays attention to him and still loves him very much, he will soon want freedom and independence. To achieve complete happiness, give him toys and sit him next to you, then you can calmly cook dinner or hem things.

Reasons for “difficult character”

Modern psychologists identify five most important crisis periods of childhood: newborn (first month - one and a half months), one year, three years, six - eight years, 12 - 14 years of age. Each of these stages can have varying degrees of severity and last from 2-3 weeks to a year. Today's children develop quickly, mature early, growth rates are increasing, so the child literally steps from crisis to crisis with very short intervals, parents barely have time to exhale.

Understanding the reasons for the cataclysms that happen to a child greatly increases the ability to survive difficult times with minimal losses. Why did the angelic creature become unbearable?

The essence of the turning point is that the child masters two important skills - autonomous speech and upright walking, accompanied by a significant leap in the development of the child's will. Year-olds begin to actively use new skills, encounter numerous restrictions, misunderstandings on the part of their parents, and stubbornly try to break through this wall. The inability to gain complete freedom of action causes indignation, which the child is still only able to express through screams, tears and other unsightly ways.

Toddlers of about one year of age realize their separation from their mother. They want to independently explore the world around them, acting freely, falling and rising, and stuffing their bumps. A close adult is needed as a contemplator who provides unconditional support. The mother, in turn, finds it difficult to trust her baby, and she begins to set all sorts of prohibitions and restrictions. This conflict causes indignation in the child and despair in adults.

Tips for parents

Remember that children repeat everything after adults. Be a role model for your child.
Scream and swear less, try to find a compromise with the baby.
During tantrums, distract your baby and direct his attention to something bright and interesting.
If your baby refuses to do something important, such as getting dressed or bathing, try to do it in a playful way. Let your child choose from several clothes the one he likes.
The main concepts in raising a child during this period should be such concepts as love and patience, or rather, great love and limitless patience.

What parents need to do

Try to maintain your usual daily routine.
Create the richest possible developmental environment in the home. Train him. Let him touch different surfaces, smell smells, listen to sounds. Show how to use different objects.
Support your baby in everything.
Set only a good example for your child.
Give him simple instructions so that the baby feels responsible and independent.
Coordinate the upbringing model with other relatives so that there is no conflicting behavior between different family members, when one prohibits and the other allows.

To avoid unnecessary conflicts, put away items that the child should not touch.

Organize your child’s personal space where he will feel in charge.
Try to understand all the baby’s requests; if you understand, voice them. For example: “Oh, do you want to get a toy?” - and even: “Do you want to touch the fire?” Then you can explain why this should not be done. It is important that unresolved situations do not arise.
Do not be afraid that the child will bump, hurt or burn himself, of course, if we are not talking about a serious wound. A little person mastering the surrounding reality must necessarily go through some tests in order to learn to act safely in our difficult world.
Respect the child's personality and demonstrate your respect. This will help him grow up to be a strong and confident person.
Show unconditional love for your baby. Hug and kiss him often.
If you need to leave the house, talk about it. Explain that you will be back soon.
If a child does not listen to you and continues to commit some unacceptable actions, it is important to clearly build a system of rules and prohibitions. Don't force anything. Figure out how to distract or engage him. For example, if your baby refuses a certain food, offer to eat it with toys.
Before going to the toilet, get your child interested in something, otherwise he will definitely be upset because of your absence. In this case, talk to him from behind the door, explain that you will be leaving soon.
If a child asks for help, help, but do not overdo it. Let the baby try to cope on his own, and you will “insure” him in that part of the matter that he is not yet able to do.
If your baby requires attention, give him time. And if you don't have one at all, distract him with something interesting.

We hope these tips will help you establish constructive communication with your baby. Let this period not be a crisis for you, but an exciting “quest” that will teach you endurance and wisdom, and help your child become more mature.

What is the first year crisis?

Periods of time when a child’s behavior and habits change are an integral part of a child’s growing up. And they are called age-related or personality crises. Throughout life, such crises are repeated regularly. In childhood, this occurs in the first weeks after birth, at 1 year, at three, at six and at 12–14 years.

Age crises in children: causes, signs, what to do

Sooner or later, the child has new needs, and what was used to satisfy them before ceases to be relevant. This is the crux of the problem.

It is at the age of 1 year (plus or minus 1–2 months) that the baby takes his first steps and begins to actively explore the world around him. But his aspirations and impulses are most often limited by his parents’ categorical “no!” This causes tears, whims, and stubbornness.

Remember the root cause of world revolutions: “The lower classes cannot, but the upper classes do not want”? The situation is approximately the same here. Moms and dads must realize that their baby has grown up, become more independent, sociable and mobile, and begin to treat the baby differently. But how can you understand that a crisis has already set in for a one-year-old toddler?

Successfully overcoming a crisis: psychological methods

The crisis of the first year of life is considered a positive phenomenon, since it is associated with significant changes in the child’s personality. Those around us are accustomed to noting only the negative manifestations of this process, but the positive ones are much more important. At the same time, clear boundaries of the crisis are not defined; they are individual in each case; In many ways, these boundaries depend on the behavior of others, on their ability to raise children and their willingness to understand them.

Soviet psychologists also warned parents against a large number of prohibitions. After all, they can have a detrimental effect on the development of the child and slow down the course of the crisis. Instead of constant restrictions and prohibitions, you should create some kind of environment that is safe for the child, which he can fully explore. You should also not be persistent and force your child to do something by force; instead, you should strive to interest him in what you consider necessary. It is important for parents to realize that now they are not intermediaries in the development of the world for the child, but only assistants. The initiative coming from the child should be generally encouraged, protecting only from dangerous situations in which the child could injure himself. Parents should show and tell him everything, so they can help him quickly understand what surrounds him.

With the right approach to education, the crisis period will end quite quickly - within a few months. It should be understood that the manifesting “whims” in the behavior of a one-year-old child are completely justified, since parents, with their comments, hinder the natural development of his personality. During a crisis period, it is not so much the child who must obey the parents, but the parents who must obey the child.

How to easily survive a crisis

In order for the crisis to pass quickly and painlessly, parents need to prepare for this important period. Psychologists advise adhering to the following algorithm of actions:

Recognize that the child is an individual. His demands for expanded rights are natural. All parental prohibitions must be justified. If a child wants to try to do something on his own, he needs to be given this opportunity, but under the supervision of an adult.
It is important to formulate prohibitions correctly. The use of the particle “not” in the ban should be abandoned. Instead of the word “impossible” it is better to use the word “dangerous”. At the same time, there should not be many prohibitions. Before prohibiting a child from doing anything, parents need to discuss it among themselves in order to develop a common view on upbringing in the family.
Create safe living conditions. If the baby is allowed to participate in household activities with his mother, he will be delighted.
Create conditions for the comprehensive development of the child.
During games, the child should be allowed to break buildings made of cubes and disassemble the mosaic. After the child has destroyed the built tower, you need to build it again. This develops logical thinking.
Talk to your child. If the baby is outraged by something, you need to let him speak out and be sure to try to understand his feelings. Hearing the mother’s calm speech, the baby calms down. Mom can accompany her statements with kisses and strokes. Such communication forms a trusting relationship between the child and parents.
Compliance with routine moments is important for the baby’s health. You should not refuse them just because the child protests. They can be preserved if we use play rather than strict coercion.

The essence of the first year of life

The main activity of the first year of a child’s life is emotional communication with the mother. Only in the process of communicating with a close adult does a child develop new mental processes and form new personality traits.

During the first year of life, the child:

learns to feel himself and the world around him, to perceive signals from outside and inside, and to respond to them;
knows himself and his body (both as a whole and individual parts, for example, arms and legs), the surrounding space (crawls and exhibits other activities);
gets acquainted with toys and household items;
learns to understand speech and speak the first words;
takes the first steps.

If in the first half of the year a child has enough maternal affection and care, communication “just like that,” then in the second half of the year he has a need to cooperate with his mother, for example, he asks to bring a specific toy, show the structure of an object, or help figure it out.

Which tactic should you choose?

The one-year crisis in children is not a one-day phenomenon, so parents will need to choose a behavior tactic and stick to it until they overcome a difficult stage in the development of the baby. According to psychologists, the best solution would be “to be nearby, but not to intrude.” In other words, the child should feel that you are ready to help him at any moment, but are not trying to do everything for him and suppress his will.

It is very important not to punish the child for what the parents think is excessive independence by ignoring him. Situations where a child is hysterical, unable to calm down, and you do not pay attention to it, are unacceptable. But you shouldn’t turn into a “mother hen” trying to control every step of the baby and predict all his desires. Only by adhering to the “golden mean” can you raise a full-fledged, self-sufficient person. Read more about raising children from birth to 3 years old→

Stubbornness and crisis

Stubbornness is one of the main signs of a first-year crisis. It is based on awakening independence. If earlier the baby calmly wore the clothes that you put on him, ate what was offered and played with toys, now he wants to show his will in everything.

Ordinary activities - dressing, feeding, bathing, getting ready for a walk - turn into real torture. The child does not agree to do what you suggest, demands objects that are completely unsuitable for play, and throws tantrums. It is still impossible to come to an agreement with the baby due to insufficiently developed speech, but still there is a remedy for children’s stubbornness.

At 1 year old, babies live by momentary desires, so it’s easy to distract them. Switch your child's attention to an activity that does not run counter to your plans, and he will forget about the cause of the conflict.

Game elements are also good for overcoming stubbornness. Does your child not want to put on a diaper? Try dressing up a bunny or a bear like a diaper together, let him show the baby an example.

Causes of the crisis

A one-year crisis occurs in almost every child, causing confusion among parents. Often adults do not understand why their small and calm baby suddenly became uncontrollable and hysterical. The causes of the crisis in the first year of life can be identified in several points:

The child shows independence and in the absence of successful attempts, anger and frustration are provoked.
Unprecedented prohibitions appear. A little person can’t understand why he can’t eat from a dog’s bowl and lick his dad’s sneakers.
The kid understands that the parents are the main ones in the house.
Ability to walk independently. It’s completely unusual and interesting, so the baby has a lot of emotions.
Fear of losing mom.

The main reason for changes in a child’s behavior is growing up, interest in the world around him and testing the boundaries of acceptable behavior. The reason for regular hysterics and prolonged crying also lies in age-related changes. The baby has already grown enough to destroy the apartment in five minutes, but is still too small to express dissatisfaction and frustration in words. That is why any suitable occasion ends in a fight and screams. The eternal continuation of this behavior is excluded; the correct behavior of parents will allow the child to quickly outgrow, become calm, and acquire new skills.

The problems that arise are not the result of omissions in upbringing or too gentle treatment of the child. It is extremely difficult to spoil a baby at this age; absolutely any child experiences this stage of development, and the intensity of the manifestation of emotions depends only on the character and emotionality of the child.

It should be remembered that behavior change rarely occurs immediately after the first birthday, it begins to change after nine months of age, and also “lingers” until one and a half years. A baby can confuse mom and dad completely unexpectedly and at the wrong moment. You should be prepared to avoid unnecessary stress.

Possible manifestations of the crisis of the first year

There can be many manifestations of the crisis of the first year of life, sometimes it gets by with a couple of harmful things, in others it manifests itself in full, forcing parents to take sedatives. It is not for nothing that for many years there has been a phrase applied to children of this age: “the child has calmed down - urgently run and see what happened.” At one year of age, babies are like hurricanes, demolishing everything in their path and climbing into places where adults are unable to reach. And suddenly there was silence, we must immediately save either the child or the surrounding objects.

Signs of an impending crisis:

A strong manifestation of independence. A grown man has already realized that he is capable of much without the help of loved ones. The desire to eat, dress and show other skills on their own drives parents into a nervous tic. A child is quite capable of giving up his favorite dish, opting for his mother’s plate.
Constant whims and hysterics. Despite the enormous independence, many actions are not yet available to the baby. He is not yet able to build investigative connections, so he is terribly upset, not getting the spoon into his mouth, and not catching up with the cat. He has learned to express his emotions a little - the intonation of crying changes. In case of minor misunderstandings, in the form of a flying spoon or spilled soup, a simple roar is possible, but a cat’s tail slipping out of the hand and an unfairly hidden bowl of food can cause violent hysteria. In addition to showing dissatisfaction, the baby tries to manipulate and checks whether the mother will urgently run to fulfill his demands.
The child does not hear his parents. Comments and words are ignored, creating the impression that the baby has hearing problems. The kind words and stern tone of his parents are not able to lead him off the intended route; he confidently goes to destroy the surrounding objects. Without fail, children begin to take everything from the shelves, ignoring the prohibitions. If the mother is too persistent, the reaction is a loud roar and hysterics.
Conflicting actions of the child. This point drives many parents crazy the most; the child has no logic at all. He may ask to be held, and a second later he will push his mother away and demand freedom, take the spoon from his mother to eat himself, and immediately throw it away. There are too many processes going on in the baby’s brain, it is developing intensively, so the child simply does not have time to understand the needs.
Refusal to perform usual procedures. A child loves to swim; he may unexpectedly refuse the procedure. At the same time, following the previous point, he will immediately be offended and cry if he is not put in the bath. Often children refuse to go to bed and scream, trying to fight sleep.

Manifestations can occur simultaneously, forcing parents to calmly react to what is happening, not paying attention to the twitching eye.

Within a few days, instead of the sweet angel, a typhoon appears, ready to challenge the actions of the parents and intends to solve problems on its own.

A complete ban will not bring the desired result, the baby will be upset and disoriented - he just found new objects, began to study and received a ban. The crisis of the first year drags on and leaves many consequences, including uncertainty and lack of independence in the growing person.

Actions for parents during a child's crisis

When a crisis occurs in a child’s first year of life, parents are sometimes confused. It is no longer possible to force a child to do what needs to be done: put on a jacket, eat soup, but it is still impossible to come to an agreement with him - firstly, he is not able to answer, and secondly, he himself still does not quite understand. In such a situation, people behave differently, some begin to strictly educate, fearing to spoil the baby, others follow the lead, fulfilling the baby’s whims, as long as he doesn’t cry.

Despite the apparent carelessness, the last option is correct - it will allow you to survive the crisis quickly enough and will not leave negative consequences. Parents should definitely calm down. Many mothers at this time begin taking sedatives; they do not have the strength to withstand daily surprises. Whatever method of calming adults choose, the child’s confidence in the love of his parents is a guarantee of success. Parents are advised to follow some rules:

The mother needs to come to terms with the fact that in her presence the child’s behavior is much worse than in her absence. The child has already understood his independence and the ability to escape from his parents. This reason forces you to behave calmly with your grandmother and father, but with your mother - whims and tears immediately begin, the baby climbs into her arms and refuses to move anywhere. This is a protest, the child shows his dissatisfaction with the disappearance of a loved one and is afraid of a repeat of the offensive trouble. Before taking on household chores, play a little with your child, read to him, carry him in your arms and sing a song. After 20-30 minutes, the baby will make sure that mom’s disappearance is impossible and will calmly go shake things out of the chest of drawers and tear off the baseboard.
The tragedy of parting with your mother must be minimized. Sometimes a woman does not have the opportunity to go to the toilet, the child immediately loses it and cries. It is worth constantly reminding and not to follow the lead and not to let them go with you. Be sure to announce your presence, let the baby stand at the door, and the mother will sing songs and push bright candy wrappers under the door and tell about an interesting event immediately after her exit. Gradually the child will understand the boundaries. The child is sensitive to his mother leaving home; you should always tell him in detail why you are leaving and when you will return. By leaving it for 10–15 minutes for several days in a row, you can get the baby to understand that the mother is returning.
Bring the apartment into a state that is safe for the newly minted researcher. A one-year-old child will eat absolutely everything that enters his mouth; the study of the world must begin with taste. Therefore, remove small items to avoid serious health and life consequences if swallowed. This applies to both pet food and their toilet; the contents of the containers are especially attractive to children. The baby will also be able to drop anything he can reach. Valuable items (phones, tablets) should be removed higher. The child can reach out and try to move the TV. Even if the baby does not yet know how to climb onto the sofa, there is no doubt that he will soon learn. And at the wrong moment. Children fall absolutely everywhere, and it is impossible to avoid flying; you should at least lay a soft carpet next to the sofa.
Fighting protests. You should not suppress the child’s will and do what he does not want. The kid threw away the plate and hit his mother in the head with a spoon, this does not mean hunger. You can place a toy nearby and take your mind off your capricious child by “feeding” the bear. After a couple of seconds, the child will begin to open his mouth and demand to put food there. Lack of desire to dress for a walk, talk about waiting birds, dogs and other animals. You can only cope with the manifestation of character with cunning, so as not to develop complexes and insecurity in the child.
Hysterics. The most difficult problem. First of all, the mother must remain calm. The child senses her mood well, and in moments of your aggression, he will not be able to calm down, but will scream even more. It is not always possible to recognize the reason for the screaming; if the parents are confident in the protest and the demand to fulfill the request, ignoring it helps. It is enough to leave the room and the child will calm down and rush to his mother, and then he will either start screaming even louder, making sure of his presence, or he will calm down and ask to be held. Sometimes the cause of hysteria is fatigue and severe resentment; you should not leave the baby alone, much less scold him. Distract, calm and play calm games.

The duration of the crisis and intensity depend entirely on the behavior of the parents. Family members react correctly and calmly to changes, do not forbid the child to explore the world - in a couple of months he will learn to control, including emotions, and will again become an obedient and calm child until he is “caught up” by the next, three-year crisis. In a situation of many prohibitions and constant dissatisfaction of adults, the crisis will last longer and bring negative consequences for the fragile psyche of the baby.

When to contact a child psychologist

Often, during a crisis in the first year of a baby’s life, parents run to a psychologist. In fact, the help of a specialist will help parents hear familiar words from a competent person. A 1-year crisis is a normal phenomenon that does not require treatment. If your child protests and tantrums too often, seek help from a specialist.

If a deviation from the norm is suspected, he will refer you to a psychotherapist who will prescribe mild sedatives to help the baby calm down. The main task of parents is to understand that everything is fine with their child, so a consultation with a doctor is necessary - be sure to contact him so as not to worry, because the baby feels and worries about the mother’s emotions.

What not to do

Often, during the crisis of the first year of life, parents react completely incorrectly, listening to the opinions of others about the child’s spoiling and immediate punishment.

Adults must accept the child as such, this is the stage of development. Ignore advisors and prohibit scolding a child because of whims and unpredictable behavior. Only in this case will it be possible to quickly move to the next stage of development. It is prohibited to do the following during a crisis:

Forcing a child to do something he doesn’t want to do. You can outwit, lure, come up with other ways so that he agrees himself.
Scold for whims and hysterics.
Change your mind about prohibited things. A common mistake. Mom, dad, grandma and others should prohibit it. One of the adults will allow it - the child is lost. And there’s no point in scolding him later, he simply couldn’t understand why sometimes it’s possible and then not.
Adults must adhere to the same line of education. If everyone raises in their own way, the child will stop listening to everyone and decide for himself what to do. It is much more difficult to correct in the absence of the authority of each family member.

The most important thing for parents to remember is that you should never be shy about your child. He feels that if mom blushes for her behavior and hisses “stop shouting, shut up, you’re disgracing me,” you will create an insecure personality. The person closest to you should always support and reassure. Be sure to tell your child more often about your love for him, so that he knows that his parents need him, despite his behavior. The crisis is not at all easy for him, sometimes he is simply physically unable to calm down, so adult help and support will come in handy.

Every family must survive the crisis of the first year and come out of it with dignity. Compliance with all rules of behavior and attention to your child will allow you to grow a balanced and confident personality.

How to recognize the beginning of the first age crisis?

The main reason for the crisis of the first year is the discrepancy between the baby’s new opportunities and his desires.
At the same time, parents do not have time to restructure their attitude towards the child. On the one hand, the baby gains freedom of movement, but he does not always control his body well and cannot reach curious things located on the upper shelves. On the other hand, the toddler is already beginning to use short words and syllables to indicate his desires, but not all adults can decipher the baby’s autonomous speech. He wants autonomy and independence, but those around him treat the one-year-old baby like a newborn, depriving him of the opportunity to explore the world around him on his own terms.

At the end of the article, we have prepared a checklist “What to do if you lose your temper with a child.” Download it and act correctly in this difficult situation!

The first manifestation of the onset of the critical period is the child's difficulty in educating.

He is capricious a lot, stubborn and at the same time requires increased attention. Showing newfound independence, the baby refuses to fulfill the requests of his parents and acts in his own way.

In response to criticism and prohibitions, the little rebel throws tantrums, he becomes especially sensitive and touchy. The behavior of the baby in the eyes of the parents loses all logic due to the inconsistency of desires and actions.

Adults' attitude to the crisis

The crisis of the first year is the first crisis in the life of a baby. There are many new age-related crises ahead of you, and therefore you need to know how to behave and how to cope with this crisis?

Sometimes parents prefer to put up with the whims of the baby, fulfill his wishes and hope that a miracle will happen and everything will go away as he grows up. Other parents go to the other extreme and, not wanting to tolerate this behavior of their children, begin to fight the whims and hysterics of their children, using screams, spanking and even intimidation. As anyone can see, neither is the right approach. Indeed, today there are many ways that can really help parents deal with the crisis of the first year and at the same time not harm the child. Let's look at several ways to help you cope with your baby's crisis.

Keep inhibitions to a minimum whenever possible. When a child begins to walk, it is better to remove all dangerous things and objects from his visibility in advance, so as not to once again shout at the child and not take away from his hands a dangerous object that he has reached. If the baby wants to eat on his own, then nothing bad will happen if he tries to do this. After all, one way or another, someday he still must learn to be independent. If he wants to draw on his hand instead of paper, let him do it, then he can wash the baby. In other words, there is no need to pull the child over all sorts of trifles. After all, one way or another he will do everything in his own way, find a way to draw on himself, take what interests him and the like. So why make him nervous and fray his own nerves?
There is no need to force your baby to eat; if he refuses, then offer something else. The child will still eat something when he gets hungry.
Hear it. Every loving mother can understand her baby, who does not yet speak. This happens on an instinctive level. You should not ignore your child’s requests and desires.
It is important for children that their parents are a friend, not a strict mentor. Spend more time with him, play with him. This will make it much easier to reach mutual understanding.
Communicate more with your child. By doing this you will not only give him the necessary attention, but also help develop his speech. You can comment on everything you do. Tell him fairy tales, poems, introduce him to the surrounding objects. Or just contact him, ask what he is doing, whether he wants help, and the like. All this will bear fruit.
The more time you spend with your child and the more you do different things together, the more important he will feel. Children love to “help” adults, and when they are also praised for it, it will become their favorite thing to do.
Remember that physical punishment and scolding can never lead to good results. Instead, learn to distract your baby when he starts getting fussy or hysterical. But here it is also important to understand that you cannot give a child a “bribe” of candy instead of calming him down. After all, he may think that this is natural and will grow up with such reinforced behavior.
If the baby is hysterical and does not hear your persuasion, then leave him for a few minutes. Let him be alone. Often hysterics and whims gain momentum thanks to the public. And when a child realizes that no one is paying attention to him, he begins to calm down and quickly gets distracted.

And in cases where the baby does not want to let go of his mother, an acceptable solution can be found. You need to spend 30 minutes a day with your child, this is just your time where you communicate and play with the child. The main rules here are as follows:

Do not stretch this time over hours or the whole day;
And the child should get enough of you during this time. The main thing is that you spend this time productively.

These are the basic tips and methods that will help you cope with the crisis of the first year without damaging the child’s psyche.

Rules of conduct for parents of seven-year-olds

Find a balance between the desire to teach your child to be independent and the desire to make him as obedient as possible.
Demonstrate your trust and respect for the growing family member, emphasize his maturity and praise him in every possible way for his achievements.
Give up categorical prohibitions. They escalate conflicts, and at the same time the seven-year-old is deprived of the opportunity to gain important life experience.
Do not allow absolute connivance. It causes an acute feeling of dissatisfaction, which lowers self-esteem.
Gradually shift the responsibility for the child's well-being onto his own shoulders. On the other hand, let the baby feel responsible for rash actions in order to learn from his own experience.

Establish basic rules for your child’s behavior in all situations. The list of rules should include categorical prohibitions that protect the baby from danger, as well as a list of undesirable behaviors that you can tolerate under certain conditions. The most extensive list should be of actions that the baby can perform at his own discretion. This category should expand with age, covering all areas of the child’s life.

During the age crisis of seven years, the child still needs your support and love, although he strives for greater independence. You need to help your baby become a little more mature by forming useful habits in him and instilling rules of behavior in society.

How did you cope with your baby’s age-related crises? Share in the comments!

Crisis of 1 year in a child: how long does the first crisis in a baby’s life last and how should parents behave?