The concept of leadership style and its classic (authoritarian, democratic and permissive) types

The moment when a child appears in a family is also the moment when parents begin to develop their own parenting style. Despite the fact that in nature there are no identical families, there are only 4 styles of raising children. As a rule, parents adhere to one of them unconsciously, without even suspecting that there is a classification, defining characteristics and behavior patterns. The style of behavior with children can change from year to year, for example, parents often decide to enroll in parenting courses or read several books. And yet, most often the style of family education is formed from the parents’ own understanding of how to raise children, what is good and what is bad.

In fact, the character, behavior, and sometimes even the fate of their child depends on what parenting style parents adhere to. The development of children's personality is greatly influenced by the atmosphere in which they grow up, as well as parental behavior and communication style.

Authoritarian parenting style

For parents who adhere to an authoritarian type of upbringing, the child’s interests are not in first place, but his successful, prosperous future. Based on their life experience, mom and dad independently decide what is best for the child to wear, how to speak, what to do, what to do. At the same time, the desires of the child himself are perceived as something unimportant and insignificant. Such parents have a specific goal in their heads, for example: a child who only gets A’s in school, or a child who entered a medical school and studied to become a doctor. At all costs, in their opinion, the child must achieve this goal, and it does not matter that he, for example, does not want to become a doctor at all.

Strictness and drill turn upbringing in a family into constant suppression of the child, coercion and even violence. Nothing should distract from the process of achieving great goals, so every step, word, and action of the child is controlled.

What are the consequences of authoritarian upbringing of a child in a family?

First of all, the baby’s personal space suffers. His will, desires, and personality are suppressed. A child grows up in an authoritarian atmosphere, where he does not have the right to decide even small details, for example, what kind of hairstyle his hair will be in, or which way to go home from school.

With an authoritarian style of upbringing in the family, young children almost unquestioningly obey their parents, as they are driven by fear. In adolescence, problems often arise: the authority of the parent is questioned, scandals become more frequent, the teenager strives to act contrary to adults, just to defend his own opinion. Depending on his own character, the child grows into a person who:

1. He has a weak position in life, does not understand what he wants, and does not know how to make decisions. It is often said about people who grew up in an authoritarian family atmosphere that they do not have their own opinion, the ability to be responsible for actions and actions. Out of habit, such people strive to please others, obey, and try their best to live up to other people's expectations.
2. He adopted the behavior of his parents and elevated it to the absolute level. The authoritarian style of upbringing in the family causes a desire to confront and resist, which is why an aggressive, conflictual, rude personality is formed. Such people prefer to resolve issues by force, do not respect others, and are characterized by cynical and even despotic behavior. In addition, they often experience hostility, and sometimes even hatred, towards their parents.

How to tone down an authoritative style?

If you notice a tendency towards an authoritarian parenting style in your family, but don’t know how to fix it, here are some tips:

• learn to take into account the child’s wishes, try to understand his feelings and motives;
• order and coerce less often, ask and offer more often;
• explain your actions, tell why the punishment followed, why you want the child to fulfill the request and do as you wish;
• give your child the opportunity to independently choose friends, clothes, music, based on their own preferences and tastes;
• try to accept the fact that the child may have shortcomings, focus your attention on the advantages.

Basic styles of family education

Democratic

This style is considered quite favorable for raising children. It fully justifies its name in that it implies both caring for the child and supporting the baby’s independence. The child has his own tasks and responsibilities around the house, but at the same time they are ready to listen to his opinion and give him a sufficient amount of freedom.

In a democratic family, parents fully respect the child’s opinion and may even ask for his advice. At the same time, conversations and problem solving through compromise play a leading role here. There is no excessive care, children are ready to listen to the advice of mom and dad and understand what is possible and what is not.

Most often, in such families the very fact of aggression is absent. Children can be raised to be leaders and taught not to be manipulated by others. Most often, democracy in family relationships helps children communicate with peers. However, such children may have character traits that are less characteristic of this style of upbringing: altruism, willingness to help at any moment, putting oneself in the place of another person. These are extremely rare exceptions. And they are found in children in whose family the democratic regime is mixed with others.

This parenting style is also called the “cooperative style.” The role of parents here is this: they have authority, but show care and attention, are fair to all mistakes, they are very interested in the lives of their children, but they do not unnecessarily invade their personal space. Communication in such a family is a very important indicator. Manifestations of love are also about this type of child development.

Democratic parents think about what their child can achieve in the future, but do not try to realize their dreams through them. Such parents think about the future of their children, but do not realize their ambitions at their expense.

Recommendations for parents

Maintain a friendly relationship with your child, show warmth and care, but do not overdo it. Your authority plays an important role for them, and maintaining it is not easy.

Controlling

This method involves restrictions on children’s actions, in particular their behavior. It is worth starting this method before the start of the school period, since after that it is difficult to instill a new style of education, especially if before that your priority was democratic.

Everything is explained to the child accurately and to the point: what is not allowed, what is possible, how to do it, how to do it. At the same time, the child does not have the right to rant about whether the parents are right or wrong.

Most often, children who were raised in this style are very obedient, receptive and pliable, fearful, not persistent in achieving any goals, and are not aggressive, but rather, on the contrary, either kind or have a neutral attitude towards everything.

Recommendations for parents: if it is important for you to have an obedient child in the family, then use this style of parenting, but do not overdo it with control, sometimes you should still allow the child to express his opinion, otherwise he will very quickly learn to remain silent, or he will accept other people’s opinions as his own .

Authoritative

In this type of education, the child’s independence and originality prevail. Personality is a very important concept here. Achieving goals involves the desire to achieve them, not coercion. Love and support helps parents show their interest in their child's life, while placing expectations on him and talking about it directly. This style of parenting is very similar to the democratic one. In essence, these are the same thing, but some psychologists prefer to separate them. Communication in the family of this style also prevails, while defending a position is supported.

Children raised in this style become more confident and have excellent control over emotions. And a more successful and happier future awaits them. But this method should be used very carefully, because one wrong step can destroy the entire system. It should not be confused with the completely opposite

Recommendations for parents: if this style of parenting is used, then it is better to have moderation in everything. Do not overdo it with care, do not go too far in rare conflicts.

Authoritarian

This style is very common in families. It is popular due to the fact that the child perceives the parents’ wishes as rules. But the problem is that there is not always an understanding that such parental behavior suppresses the child’s own “I”. And the requirements for the child become more and more stringent, including the demand for unquestioning obedience from him.

This method is similar to the control method, but has a more rigid framework. Here the control is carried out more incorrectly. And as a result, at the end of childhood, which for the child will remain echoes of his fantasies, he turns out to be a closed person. And relationships with parents may even deteriorate.

On the other hand, such a method, on the contrary, can awaken his best qualities in a child, teach him to defend his opinion and the principle “it’s all for your own good” can work.

The behavior of parents who use this method of education pursues some goal, for example, a gold medal in studies, ideal dancing skills for the royal ballet, etc. Hence all the strictness, coercion and rules.

Recommendations for parents: if you want the best for your child, try to add a little democracy. If it is difficult to switch from democratic to another. It is the easiest way to dilute the authoritarian parenting style. Perhaps it is worth looking at the situation from a different angle and if the child does not succeed with pressure, then he will achieve the goal with the help of affection and support.

The authoritarian style very often lacks love and care from parents to the child. Perhaps the reason lies not in the desire to achieve any goals, but because childhood life experience played a cruel joke on one of the parents. One of the parents often disagrees with this method. And disputes begin when, instead of sorting out the relationship, it is worth showing the parent, who does not know how to educate otherwise, that the desired can be achieved through compromise and warmth.

It is very important to distinguish between an authoritarian parenting method and cruelty towards a child. This style still has love and care, it is a flawed way to give the best to a child, but it is still love.

Recommendations for parents: if you feel that this situation resembles the relationship in your family, you should take action and try to change your attitude towards the situation. There is no need to put any more pressure on the baby, let him show you what he can do. Take an interest in his skills. But don’t expect the child to immediately get used to the changes, he may be a little scared of your reaction, but time will correct this.

Liberal

Important components must arise between parents and children: family feelings, expressions of love, trust in each other, respect and care. Most importantly, psychological and behavioral boundaries must be established in the family, that is, the presence of comfort and freedom, and at the same time it is worth maintaining a state of safety in the child.

In fact, many parents lack the strength and experience in proper upbringing. Feeling a lack of attention, children feel insecure and even lonely, useless to anyone. This situation is characterized by: low discipline, or its absence at all, and complete uncontrollability of the actions that you expect from the child. Thus, the situation in the family becomes dramatically more complicated. Then it becomes even more difficult when the child enters society. After all, he will not be the only one and he will be required to obey the general rules of behavior, as is required in kindergartens and schools.

Liberal education can have consequences such as: poor performance of the child at school, since parents are not interested in the child’s educational process, he may come under negative influence in the future. Such children have practically no values. Often in such families, children try to control not only their parents, but also the people around them, which develops the quality of a manipulator.

Parents who adhere to this kind of upbringing are inconsistent and often encourage uninhibited behavior, worrying more about giving their children the opportunity to express themselves creatively and show individuality.

Without boundaries, children do not feel safe. They are easily involved in various kinds of antisocial actions: they can engage in sexual relations quite early and become part of criminal groups. This happens because the child did not receive parental support or was not given clear guidelines about what is good and bad.

At the same time, it is not excluded that self-education will awaken in the child and he will learn to control his hormone emissions, and will also be able to achieve success over any period of time and surprise his loved ones.

The struggle for attention grows with the person and is no longer directed only at the parents. Such children are very vulnerable as they grow up; they look for at least some kind of support in all available ways: they join sects, get into dependent partnerships, and can also become addicted to alcohol or even drugs. All this comes from the company your child finds himself in. These urges interfere with their social development, the formation of self-esteem and positive self-esteem, responsibility, and the ability to establish strong emotional connections.

The liberal style of parenting is also called “permissive,” that is, in this case, the child strains his parents and constantly feels it, especially if there is another beloved child in the family.

But even these negative aspects can have a downside, and this style of parenting will awaken in children independence and a desire to make their lives better. To do this, the child will have to go through a number of tests, but maybe this is exactly what your child needs. Listen to his opinion, reactions to your actions and observe his mood. Particular attention should be paid to a child in adolescence.

Recommendation for parents:

Think about it and try to change your behavior tactics. Introduce some rules and responsibilities that all family members must follow. Spend more time with your child and work with him, listen and give advice, but not a decree. Do not allow the child to be without control at all. A little supervision never hurt anyone.

Guardian

This style is otherwise called “hyperprotection”. From the first minute of the baby’s birth, parents strive not only to be close to him, but to monitor his every step, warn and fulfill all his needs in advance (adults also determine what exactly the child should want).

Such parents are very fond of collecting information about various fashionable methods of teaching and upbringing. A son or daughter is constantly limited in freedom, and any attempts at independent behavior are suppressed in various ways - from direct and strict prohibitions to manipulation, threats, intimidation and blackmail, which is a huge irritant.

Children often hear a range of negative statements: “don’t belong to anyone but me,” “don’t be close,” “don’t do,” “don’t think,” “you’re only mine.”

Parents thus convince the child that without their care he will be lost. Thus, trying to somehow cope with their own anxiety, which appears at the very first attempts of the baby to become more independent.

Such conditions are far from beneficial for the child. Not only will he not be able to make even the smallest correct decision in his life, but he will also be absolutely sure that an absolutely terrible and cruel world awaits him outside his parental family. Such ideas provoke the development of anxiety, feelings of helplessness and inhibit the formation of social and personal maturity. Thus, the child will feel a sense of guilt, as he goes against parental guidelines.

The need for constant intervention in the life and affairs of the child becomes a kind of dependence, reducing anxiety for him, the fear of parental loneliness, and deprivation of help. Also, the reason for such an educational position may be the inertia of adults’ attitude towards growing children, when older family members continue to treat an already grown-up child as a small one. Very often, it is easier for a mother to get her child ready for a walk, spoon-feed him quickly and without unnecessary dirt on the table, and put on a diaper for him until he is five years old. At the same time, the child does not learn to dress, eat, or use the potty on his own until the mother has enough strength to live only by caring for him. Behind the desire to do everything for the child lies a mistrust of his capabilities, and simply not a desire to let go or think that the child has already grown up and is quite capable of doing everything on his own.

The consequences of overprotection are also laziness, passivity, uncertainty, fear of mistakes, dependence, and infantilism. Such a child is extremely convenient, and not only for parents. Overprotection suppresses cognitive activity, fosters humility, inhibits the development of perseverance in achieving goals and is simply a characterless person, but not a person.

It is under the influence of this style that “mama’s boys” grow up. Such a child cannot love to work, because someone is constantly doing something for him. Thus, without feeling proud of your efforts and achievements. Depending on the child's temperament, there may be other reactions. Trying to escape from the control of adults, a child can become aggressive, disobedient, self-willed, and easily falls under the influence of others. Many complaints from parents about the child’s lack of control and willfulness are due to a misunderstanding of the child’s desire to prove that he has already grown up and can do everything himself. Strict control and restrictions on independence provoke the child to learn to be cunning and lie, which will ultimately lead to alienation from his parents and some problems in life. It turns out that beyond control and excessive care, parents form in the child those negative qualities and behavior patterns that they fear.

At the same time, the child can do the opposite, trying to show his mother that he can achieve great success on his own. But only self-discipline and a child’s determined attitude will help here.

Varieties of this pedagogical approach are the education of a “family idol” and the recently very fashionable “education of a child prodigy.” When upbringing according to the “family idol” type, all efforts of parents are aimed at satisfying the needs and whims of the child. The family ceases to live in harmony, and one of its members inevitably begins to suffer from lack of attention (often this is another child). The “Center of the Universe” quickly gets used to this attitude, becomes selfish in his desires and demands, and always strives to bask in the attention of numerous relatives. He easily manipulates his parents and easily gets what he wants. What happens next is that when the child finds himself face to face with life’s difficulties, he becomes lost. As a result, an “unrecognized genius” grows up, deeply unhappy and unsure of himself.

In the second case, the child is literally surrounded with various techniques, aids, toys, and systems from the first independent breath. At the same time, ambitious adults are ready to devote all their time exclusively to the “future genius”, just to achieve their goal - to raise a unique child.

Often the child's psyche cannot cope with such a load, in which a large amount of information and a busy daily routine are combined with a lack of emotional contact with an enthusiastic mother. Every parent wants their child to succeed. Many become so passionate about it that their sons and daughters begin to view their entire lives as one endless competition. But life is not only a struggle, but also the joy of realizing the current moment, the ability to enjoy it, to love this world and yourself in it. It is much easier and more useful to convey to the child the idea that victory and superiority at any cost is not the only thing that matters. A man is defined not by his victories, but by his character.

Perhaps a child with such an upbringing will eventually grow up absolutely confident in his abilities and will make his parents proud with his genius. After all, such children can teach their parents even more than they taught him.

Recommendation for parents:

In this case, we can suggest to loving parents that they find the right words in order to convey to the child what and how to do correctly and what the result will be. And most importantly, learn to trust each other so that fear and uncertainty about the correctness of your child’s actions disappear.

Liberal, permissive style of parenting

We can say that this type of family education is the opposite of authoritarian. In such a family, warm, friendly relations can be maintained between parents and children, but discipline is very poor. Parents who adhere to liberal family education of children are not inclined to set high expectations; the most important thing for them is the child’s happiness. Like the authoritarian style, the liberal one is not a very good extreme. Parents, in pursuit of the happiness and comfort of their child, forget about discipline and punishment. They do not establish acceptable limits of behavior and strive to do absolutely everything to ensure that the child or teenager has the opportunity to express themselves.

Another version of the liberal parenting style is when parents are not particularly interested in upbringing in general and let growth and development take its course. On the one hand, this gives the child the opportunity to develop independently, on the other hand, it creates a gap between parent and child.

What are the consequences of liberal upbringing of a child in a family?

If the authoritarian style of dealing with children causes the appearance of rude or dependent people, then the liberal one – “disliked” or too detached. The following options for personal development are possible:

1. An independent, self-confident person, who, however, is distinguished by some detachment. Doesn't want to think about others, doesn't really understand how to show intimacy and affection. Such people go through life alone, not wanting to support, help, take care of loved ones and just people around them.
2. People who are used to living outside the social framework. They believe that they can do anything; they do not have to adhere to the rules and norms of behavior. Quite often, such individuals choose criminal “professions” for themselves, and are distinguished by their irresponsibility and inability to keep their word.

How to smooth out the liberal style?

The liberal style of raising children is not optimal and does not contribute to the growth of a physically and psychologically healthy person. If the above approach to parenting is too familiar to you, here are some tips:

• spend more time with your child, be interested in him, your task is to establish a trusting, warm, but not devoid of parental authority, relationship;
• get involved in the child’s life, establish at least simple rules that would teach the child discipline, for example, that you need to come home no later than 9-10 pm, and before you sit down to play, you need to wash the dishes and do your homework.

Authoritarianism and democracy in relationships

As the name implies, the authoritarian parenting style involves parents building a certain model, an image that their child should correspond to. They make every effort to bring their son or daughter closer to this ideal:

• select developmental activities without taking into account children's interests;
• practice coercion and suppression in relationships;
• do not allow independence.

The most common reaction to these methods is fear, adaptation to the requirements of adults. Preschool children pretend to be obedient, neat, and efficient, but in reality they are not, which means they are deceiving.

A striking example of an authoritarian parenting style is the pedagogical efforts of the housekeeper Freken Bock. Everyone knows what they led to. If parents recognize the child’s right to independent decisions, their own opinions, mistakes, build relationships on trust, equal dialogues, we are talking about a democratic style. Adults make a number of demands, the fulfillment of which they inexorably insist on, but they are ready to discuss some things. Psychologists believe that it is precisely such relationships that are the basis for the harmonious development of the individual.

Nurturing parenting style (overprotection)

This style of parenting appears in families where parents are very worried about their child. Of course, because the son or daughter is still very young, they cannot solve their problems themselves, they need to be protected, looked after, something bad might happen!

Raising children in such a family is largely based on restrictions. To prevent something from happening to the child, he is forbidden, for example, from walking outside in the evening, communicating with “unfavorable” children, and sometimes not even allowed to play sports.

In general, overprotection can manifest itself in different ways. This is also the desire, usually of mothers, to “tie” the child to themselves, not to let go, to constantly look after and control. Sometimes overprotection manifests itself in excessive concern for health. Another common form of a protective parenting style is when a child grows up, stops being a teenager, and is still treated as small and not independent.

What are the consequences of caring for a child in a family?

The style of upbringing in a family largely determines the lifestyle of all members, and therefore affects the environment in which the child grows up. Often overprotective parents try to protect their child from difficulties; sometimes these difficulties are just home and school responsibilities. Overprotection leads to the emergence of the following personalities:

1. A person who believes that he is better than those around him. Due to the protective type of upbringing, he is used to manipulating others, treats people with distrust and arrogance. He doesn’t like to work too much, but he is demanding of others and does not want to take other people’s opinions into account.
2. A dependent, dependent person who is unable to cope with difficulties and problems. Does not show initiative, is helpless, even as an adult he consults his mother or father on every issue.

How to smooth out overprotection?

If you notice a protective style of raising children, don’t blame yourself, because you were just taking care of the child and wanted what was best. However, you will have to work on your approach to raising children:

• find a middle ground, even the most independent child needs parental care, but do not overdo it;
• do not try to completely solve the child’s problems on your own, rather give advice and help in overcoming difficulties;
• do not limit children’s communication only with their family, let them communicate more often with their peers;
• In family relationships, children need discipline, but do not forget about freedom, give the child the opportunity to be independent.

Child education

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What parenting style do you practice? Are you an authoritarian or authoritative parent? A few years ago such questions were not even raised. After all, there was no concept of a special style necessary for raising children, since education was considered the same natural process as breathing.

Now parents need to choose the parenting style that suits their family, taking into account its characteristics and lifestyle. In addition, it is known that there is simply no universal parenting style, since various factors distinguish some parents from others (in particular, family size, family history, level of education and culture, socio-economic status, etc.).

Fifteen parenting styles

Familiarize yourself with the following parenting styles and find among them the one that best suits your family and child, and also analyze the styles that have a negative impact in order to recognize them in time and change them to more positive ones.

1. Authoritarian parenting style

As the name suggests, this parenting style is characterized by strict rules and severe punishment for non-compliance. Parents who are adherents of this style are very demanding and least responsive to their children. They do not give them freedom of expression and show almost no warmth towards them.

This style of parenting leads to constant fear of the child and his low self-esteem. These children may have difficulty managing social situations. Some of them exhibit aggressive behavior outside their home, which is nothing more than a means to express and vent their disappointment and frustration.

2. Authoritative parenting style

Unlike authoritarian parenting, in this style parents set fair and consistent rules and regulations. They place high demands on children, expect a lot from them, but at the same time show responsiveness and sensitivity. Such parents allow children to express their own opinions and help them become self-sufficient and independent.

Children raised in an authoritative parenting style gain self-confidence, develop good social skills and control over their emotions. Later, in adulthood, they are more successful, competent and happy.

3. Indulging, permissive or permissive parenting

This parenting style involves almost no rules of discipline. Parents make very few demands on their children. At the same time, they show extreme sensitivity and responsiveness towards them, and are also very lenient towards their behavior. They often play the role of a friend rather than a true parent.

This kind of upbringing can make children moody, insecure and lower their self-esteem. Children become too self-centered and have poor social skills. They have no goals in life as their parents do not set any restrictions or guidelines for them.

4. Negligent or uninvolved parenting style

Parents who follow this style are the least demanding and least responsive to their children. The bond between parent and child is also very weak. Parents meet only the basic needs of their children and neglect or dismiss any other needs that arise.

They are almost cut off from the lives of their children. Children who are raised in a neglectful, uninvolved manner become emotionally withdrawn, fearful, anxious, and often stressed. Such children are more likely than anyone else to go astray during adolescence.

5. Intuitive (instinctive) parenting

If you are a follower of this parenting style, it means that you are likely to follow your intuition or outlook on life when it comes to parenting. Professing this style, parents try to raise their children the same way they once raised themselves. They try to follow the same logic and rules that were applied to them in childhood.

6. Overprotective parenting style (helicopter parent parenting style)

In this style, parents tend to be too involved in their children's lives. They are like a helicopter that circles and hovers over the child, not leaving him without their attention for a minute! Parents are overprotective of their children and try their best to ensure their safety and security. This style is suitable for very young children, i.e. for an early age, but in the long term, under the influence of an overprotective parenting style, children become too dependent on their parents (both in small things and in important life issues).

7. Slow parenting

This style is also called simple or free-form parenting. Using it, parents allow their children to develop at their own discretion and manage their own lives. They allow a child to explore the world at their own pace, develop their own interests, and ultimately be who they really want to be.

Parents interfere little in the lives of their children and give them the opportunity to make their own decisions. The idea behind slow parenting is to keep children happy and satisfied with their accomplishments. It is believed that such children cope very well with the unpredictability of the real world.

8. Natural education

This parenting style places a high priority on developing a strong, lasting emotional bond between parents and children. Parents are very sensitive to their child's needs and are always ready to provide emotional support. The most important feature of natural education is concern for the development of children’s activity: the child acquires all his knowledge and moral ideas independently, “discovers” it under the discreet guidance of the teacher, who must help nature by providing the child with the opportunity to move freely, play, etc.

Followers of natural parenting are supporters of natural childbirth and do not practice corporal punishment. Natural parenting is believed to help children feel secure, happy and calm.

9. Equalizing (egalitarian) education

In this style, parents try to provide their children with choices that give them a sense of equality and are consistent with the principles of democracy. The entire family lives as one, as a team, and sets fair and just rules and regulations. There is a team spirit in the house.

Because children are given a say in many family matters, they learn the art of negotiation and compromise from a very young age. Parents are very responsive to their children and mistakes, if any, are seen by them as necessary learning opportunities.

10. Spiritual education

With this approach, the child is given ample opportunity to develop his own beliefs on the basis of independent personality development. Although this is not a scientific approach, the child is encouraged to develop a close relationship with God and lead a balanced life. It is believed that if children have imbibed strong spiritual values, their self-esteem increases and they feel inspired and internally strong.

11. Positive parenting

This method involves the use of common sense based on sound family principles. At the same time, children grow up in a loving, warm, supportive, caring and positive atmosphere based on respect and trust. Parents develop their child's worldview and build their child's self-confidence to prepare them for life's unexpected circumstances.

A parent's role is to guide and inspire their children to believe in themselves, control their destiny and not dance to someone else's tune. It is believed that with this style of parenting, children have the best prospects for developing a positive mental attitude, good character traits, productive life skills, positive self-esteem and a happy and prosperous life.

12. Coordinated development

This special form of positive parenting is characterized by parents' attempts to fully hone their child's talents through additional, extracurricular activities. This form of education is usually practiced in wealthy families. This style of education is also characterized by the development of a culture of speech and the child’s ability to interact with social institutions.

A child raised in this style develops better social skills than his peers. This happens because such children play music, sports, attend science clubs, and much more.

13. Narcissistic parenting

The narcissistic parent suffers from narcissistic personality disorder or narcissism. Such people make very bad parents. They keep children on a short leash because they envy their autonomy and independence. Children, according to such parents, are intended to satisfy their needs and desires.

This type of parenting negatively impacts children's emotional, thoughtful, social, and ethical behavior as adults. Children grow up with the false belief that they must be codependent in relationships.

14. Nurturing parenting

In this parenting style, children explore the world around them under the protection of their parents. Parents believe that children need to be told about what they need and can explore. They are responsible for protecting their child in his learning process. This method focuses on creativity, empathy and responsibility. One of the main problems of this model of education is the high risk of sexual deviations in boys.

15. Harmful (“toxic”) parenting

This kind of parenting is typical of parents whose negative behavior destroys their child's sense of self. These parents abuse their children physically, verbally, or psychologically, react inappropriately, or ignore their child's emotional needs. Their model of behavior is imprinted in the minds of children and passes with them into adulthood, as a result of which children repeat the behavior of their parents.

Boys and girls have different parenting styles

Parents try to choose different parenting styles based on the gender of the child. Research suggests that fathers influence their daughters' emotional balance through the parenting style they practice and, to a lesser extent, through disciplinary measures (punishment, etc.). In addition, fathers tend to be more supportive of daughters, and mothers are more supportive of sons.

Why are parenting styles different?

After studying all of the above parenting styles, you may wonder why all parents don't use an authoritative parenting model. After all, this is the most wonderful style in which the baby becomes confident and happy.

Potential reasons for the use of different parenting styles, as previously stated, include the parent's personality, cultural background, family history, family size, religion, education, and socioeconomic status of the parents. In addition, within each family, different individual parenting styles are combined and mixed. For example, a mother may offer authoritative parenting while a father may have a permissive style.

Therefore, it is essential for parents to collaborate and combine different approaches to create their own unique parenting style.

Are there any restrictions regarding parenting styles?

There are some very important limitations in parenting styles that you should be aware of. In particular, evidence that a particular parenting style is associated with a particular pattern of behavior in children. However, researchers say the relationship between parenting patterns and behavior is sometimes weak. In most cases, parents who use an authoritarian style raise children who are aggressive and disobedient, while parents who use a lax style raise children who are academically successful and self-confident. However, there is no specific “best parenting style.”

Conclusion

Different parenting styles lead to different results. Authoritative parenting is generally associated with children's positive behavior, self-confidence, and high self-esteem. There are other factors, such as cultural level and social influence, that play an equally important role in a child's behavior.

People tend to repeat the parenting style in which they were raised, but this does not deprive them of the opportunity to choose a more effective parenting style that will benefit the child the most. Choose your style carefully!

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Related links:

• ▶ Positive parenting styles
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Child development 05/17/2016

This is interesting

Finally, we have come to the most successful style of family education, thanks to which harmonious, independent people who are not isolated from society grow up. Authoritative parenting is balanced, parent and child accept and understand each other. To some extent, this type of parenting is similar to the liberal one, but there is one significant difference: raising children is not left to chance, but takes place under sensitive but unobtrusive control.

An authoritative style of family education implies that the child is an independent and original person. The family communicates with children, imposes moderate disciplinary demands, provides love and support, sets expectations, but does not force them to achieve goals.

Adhering to this style of family education, parents strive to talk with children, explain requirements, discuss problems and omissions. To avoid coercion, adults give logical, reasonable arguments and defend their rightness.

What are the consequences of raising a child with authority in a family?

If a child was lucky enough to grow up in a family where an authoritative parenting style was used for children, most likely he is an independent person who knows how to make decisions and is not afraid of responsibility for his actions. He is distinguished by his ability to set goals and strive for them, is not afraid to take initiative, and builds relationships with the people around him based on respect and mutual understanding. He knows what a compromise is and how to find it, and also, having his own opinion, accepts the opinions of the people around him.

If your parenting style is democratic, we won't give you advice. You already show miracles of understanding your child, adequately assess his capabilities, and play an active, positive role in his life.

Democratic

The most effective parenting style is adequate demands + respect for needs

A parent who adheres to this style “rules with a hard hand in a velvet glove,” increasingly weakening control as the child grows older. He is very involved in the child’s life, sensitive to his needs, but does not allow permissiveness. Punishment in such families is not revenge for bad behavior, but natural consequences and responsibility for the child’s actions. A parent teaches you to set boundaries, make decisions and take responsibility for them, and helps you recognize and manage your emotions. Children in such families are aware of their desires and the possibilities for satisfying them. Parents are more like sensitive coaches who help expand the capabilities of a little person and show how to achieve what they want without violating the boundaries of other people or harming themselves. This parenting style promotes the cultivation of an identical personality with good boundaries and contact with one’s own self, with high self-esteem, respect for oneself and for others.