A man with whom it is impossible to build a normal, happy family reveals himself in the first months of acquaintance, if you look closely. Having discovered clear signs of one of the following 9 types of men , you should not hope that he will change, and trust his self-promotion and promises. Such a man is not just “not ideal” or has “shortcomings”, but is generally incapable of normal relationships. Only disappointment and pain await him... Do you need it?
How to make a man keep his promises
And for some reason we wait for what was promised, as the proverb says, for three years.
It is not at all a fact that the man did not fulfill his promise by nature or by malicious intent. He promised to call yesterday morning, but now it’s evening today and the phone is silent. He promised to help your mother with renovations, take you shopping for the weekend, or take your child to see a cartoon. Oh, he didn’t promise anything, a trip abroad in the summer, or nailing down a shelf, and no matter what he promised you the same result, he didn’t keep his promise to you. Why did he do this? Did I want to upset you or is lying in men’s blood? He did this for the same reason that you promised your mother as a child, not to eat snow and to clean up your room, just to leave him alone.
Or maybe he just forgot? Not because he has a hole in his head, but simply his memory pushes aside events and matters that are subconsciously not significant to him. For the same reason, you have more than once forgotten to bring a film to a colleague that you had long promised to let him watch or call a friend to chat. Memory “likes to push things into the background” that are not of particular importance and value.
Failure to keep promises does not characterize a man from the bad side. And this does not mean that he cannot be trusted at all. If he didn't fulfill his promise to take you to a restaurant, this does not mean that he won't fulfill his promise to marry you.
If a man occasionally makes promises that he then doesn’t keep, due to other more important matters or other circumstances, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s another matter if throwing words to the wind has become his habit, it has become his second nature. Is it possible to fight this and how to make a man keep his promises?
You can try several ways to influence empty talkers. The simplest one is to explain your attitude towards his unfulfilled promises. Tell me how it offends you, how important it is for you to know that when he makes a promise, he will fulfill it. A loving and caring person should listen and take note of this. Although, another may simply promise not to do this again.
Remind that it is better to refrain from making promises at all than to be branded a liar and a deceiver.
You can use a method called “mirror”. That is, in some situations, do the same as him, do not fulfill promises. For example: promise him a romantic dinner followed by a stormy continuation and fail to deliver. Or, as if by accident, forget to fulfill his request. Make him feel how unpleasant it is to deal with someone who doesn't keep his promises.
You can, of course, stand above your soul and demand that you fulfill everything you promised. But this method almost never works. Men are only irritated and repulsed by the persistent imposition of something on them.
And how often do we think about whether what a man says is a promise? When, after a delicious dinner, he suggests going to a restaurant sometime to save you from having to cook. Or when in response to your question: “Darling, will you buy me a fur coat?” he replies: “Darling, I’ll think about it.” In such cases, women perceive this as a promise, but the man does not at all.
Of course, a lot depends on the promise the man made to you. If, in a fit of tenderness, he said that he would carry you in his arms all his life and shower you with flowers. It is unlikely that you will see a picture in which a decrepit old man is trying to raise you up or spending his entire pension on a bouquet for you. And if he promised to quit smoking and go in for sports, is it right to demand that he fulfill his promise? In this case, everyone has the right to their own habits, everyone is responsible for their health. It’s another matter if bad habits have developed into a disease, for example, alcoholism, and he wants to get rid of it, but is unable to do it on his own. Then he cannot do without your help and the help of a specialist.
You should not call him a liar and a deceiver, trying to make him feel guilty. Think about it, maybe you are asking too much from him, forcing him to make endless promises?
If a man has never been seen making empty promises, this should not make you particularly happy. Perhaps your man is working hard to keep his word. Such hyper-responsibility is typical for extremely insecure people. By fulfilling their promises, they are filled with self-esteem, which they so lack. Such people often react painfully to optionality. And the phrase “we’ll call you sometime” that you throw out can be the reason that a person will not part with his mobile phone for a minute, waiting for your call.
When deciding how to force a man to keep his promises, under no circumstances resort to magic, do not look for conspiracies and rituals. Do not turn to fortune tellers and sorcerers. It remains to be seen how this might turn against you. Don’t make it your goal to catch a man for not keeping what he promised. This can become a factor of irritation and lead to a quarrel.
Think, maybe it would be wiser not to take on faith all the words he said? And if he somehow promised to buy you a ring or something else nice, don’t expect it from him. You shouldn’t peer sadly into shop windows, ruining your mood. If he doesn't want it, he still won't buy it. But when you don’t expect, but receive, the joy from the gift increases significantly.
It is important to remember that when you get a man to fulfill his promises, you yourself must keep your promises. To avoid a one-sided game. Whatever methods you use to fight the unfulfilled promises of men, the main thing is not to overdo it so that the struggle does not turn into an end in itself. After all, the main thing is a harmonious relationship between two loving people.
Source: How to make a man keep his promises Why men don’t keep their promises, how you can force them https://www.allwomens.ru/9411-kak-zastavit-muzhchinu-derzhat-svoi-obeshhaniya.html
Ex-husband doesn't remember children after divorce
Problem: after a divorce, many men prefer to completely forget about their children , do not take part in raising them and do not pay child support.
Solution: appealing to the conscience and paternal feelings of the ex-husband is most often useless. You still have a small chance if, after the divorce, you maintained a good relationship with your husband’s parents. If your ex-mother-in-law cares about her grandchildren, then try complaining to her about how the children miss their dad, how you don’t have enough money for the basic necessities: fruit for the children, school supplies, new sneakers for the eldest. Ask her to talk to her son, shame him.
If you don’t have any peaceful levers of pressure left, and your ex’s conscience has fallen asleep in a dead sleep, then you will have to act through the courts. If the husband is in no hurry to pay alimony even after a court order, do not hesitate to contact the bailiff service. And don’t even think about being tormented by remorse! And even more so, forget about misplaced pride, no “I don’t need his help, I can handle everything myself.” He is the father of your children, and he must take care of them!
If you yourself have accepted and come to terms with the fact that your spouse does not care about the family, then try to ensure that your children develop a different idea of the role of the owner and breadwinner. Don’t scold your husband, but give a positive example from your inner circle - a grandfather, an uncle, a classmate’s father: this is what a real man does.
My husband doesn't keep his word, what should I do?
There is a big difference between promises that a man keeps 100% and promises that a man says just to get rid of the barrier when communicating with a woman.
Men are quite straightforward and logical creatures. Every time a problem arises, they can measure it, assess their own strengths and tell them when they will deal with it. Those. answer the basic question: “When and how.”
However, the peculiarity is that men consider each problem as a set of some characteristics, and not as a qualitative indicator.
Therefore, if a man says that he will do renovations in the apartment in three months, this means that he accurately calculated the cost of materials and time labor costs, and everything came together at the three-month mark.
But if you ask him: “When will you make a beautiful renovation?” – he will stand in a stupor. Since it is impossible to calculate the cost of a beautiful renovation, since this is a quality characteristic that is not considered. A renovation can be “beautiful” for 100,000 rubles, or it can be for $1,000,000; it’s different for every person. Therefore, a man will almost always answer such questions with a great deal of skepticism, and most likely will not do anything. We need specifics!
We have already realized that men are very straightforward creatures who do not like vague concepts. Therefore, they will never promise or do anything that they themselves are not sure of. However, there are also other, “lower” reasons.
Tell them to leave. Sometimes you need a woman to stop nagging you and stop demanding something from you. Therefore, a man can simply tell a woman that “everything will happen.” And when she leaves him, she will calmly forget about this promise and will never fulfill it.
Impress a woman. The second reason is the desire to look like a knight or hero in the eyes of a woman. Many male representatives have no idea that a woman will remember this promise and will remember it after a while. Many people hope that their beloved wife or girlfriend will simply forget and continue to go about their business.
An outright lie. The third reason for men’s empty promises is the desire to achieve their goal. How many naive girls have fallen for empty promises of getting married and living happily ever after?
So there are a number of men who start dating a girl, promise her mountains of gold and a bright future, and when they achieve their goal - sex, they immediately forget about their promises and about this girl.
Also, gigolos like to work in this manner, who skillfully lie to a woman about her beauty, about her intelligence, about her gentle and affectionate character, and gradually gain her trust. And then either a scam for money, or a happy life as a freeloader with a wealthy lady.
Bad memory. The fourth reason for empty promises is simple forgetfulness. A man can promise something and then forget about it. There is nothing criminal about this, since men like to focus on some matters and throw everything else aside. Therefore, if he did not write down his promise, and the woman did not remind him, then the man will 100% forget about him. And then he can assume that I didn’t say that.
How to make a man fulfill his promise
There are three simple principles that will help every woman achieve what she promises from her man. Pay attention to the word “yours”, i.e. a man you trust, who trusts you. This does not apply to male liars.
Specific task. A man must clearly understand what problem he needs to solve. What exactly is a successful solution to a problem. In what time frame does he need to solve this problem? Those. actually set a goal for a man and clearly state the criteria for achieving this goal.
Write it down. So that the promise does not go into the abyss of our memory, but is still fulfilled, it is better to write it down in a notebook/diary/task manager. So the details will be remembered and it will be impossible to joke that “nothing happened.”
Repeat. In order for a man to keep his promise, he needs to be reminded of it as often as possible. No matter how much this irritates a man, at one point it will “get” him, and he will be forced to fulfill his communication. Of course, the method is long and may take more than one day, but it is still correct.
Source: My husband doesn’t keep his word, what to do . A true story about why men don’t keep their word https://lieman.ru/arsenal27
Husband does not do housework
Problem: husband doesn't do housework. This is a classic of the genre - the husband comes home from work in the evening and says: “Don’t touch me, I’m so tired!” — puts his nose into the computer or TV. But you are also tired after work and would not refuse help around the house.
Solution: There are two main tactics you can use. First, choose your moment wisely. It's no use asking a man to take out the trash when the World Cup is going on. And if you hand the same bag of garbage to your husband when he has just entered the apartment and has not had time to undress, then the reaction will be completely different. Add to this a smile, a kiss and the magic words: “Dinner will be ready in five minutes, just in time to take out the trash.” And be sure, hear, be sure to praise the man! Did you wash your plate? Well done! Did you make your own scrambled eggs for breakfast? Good girl! Fixed the faucet in the bathroom? Yes, just a jack of all trades!
Why doesn't a man keep his word?
A woman’s dream and a man’s duty is to preserve this word until the issue is completely resolved. Once one person promises something to another person, he must follow through. But in modern society there are increasingly representatives of the stronger sex who cannot follow these words to the end. Why doesn't a man keep his word?
A lot depends on how a man was raised in infancy. If he has not had the opportunity to observe an ideal example of male behavior, then he will take everything that is possible. A lot of families raise a boy without a man, and if a single mother does not teach her son to keep his word, then he will grow up to be one. Undoubtedly the best site in its field, babytoy.ru offers you the Lego designer the best gift for a child in the best possible way and on good terms.
But there are times when the presence of a father in the family does not lead to the desired result. Adult dads themselves cannot show their little boys what it takes to get things done.
The second common reason why a man does not keep his word is the lack of desire to keep it. Sometimes a man understands that this is his duty as a man, but he does not see the point why he should do something. So it turns out: if there is no one to do it for, it means he won’t do it.
Source: Why doesn't a man keep his word? A woman’s dream and a man’s duty is to preserve this word until the issue is completely resolved. One time.. https://njkenpo.com/view/555/11
Why don't men keep their promises?
Two words - “man” and “promises” - are very often supplemented by a third - “unfulfilled”. Igor Kuzmichev explains why this happens.
I had a friend. One day he says to me: “Lend me some money. Seven thousand rubles."
This happened at the beginning of the 2000s, the amount was considerable at that time. Or does it just seem that way to me now? Doesn't matter. The main thing is that he took the money and disappeared. Despite the fact that before that we communicated almost every day, on the whole we got along, and in general, nothing foreshadowed. However, he disappeared. Not immediately, but, as is expected in such cases, gradually.
The scenario was standard: at first - assurances that he would give it back soon, then he stopped picking up the phone when I called him. He called back less and less, began to ignore my text messages, and slowly but surely disappeared from the horizon.
The nuance is that, despite all our close communication, I did not know where he worked (they were talking about something else), and keeping watch over him at his house on the other side of the city was difficult and somehow stupid. We also didn’t have any mutual acquaintances. In short, everything is one to one. And now six months pass, I’m already beginning to forget (not giving up, however, the dream of breaking his arms and legs) when Seryozha called. He asks for forgiveness without explaining - we must give him his due - the reasons, since any explanation in such a situation would be a meaningless lie, even if it turned out to be true. He assures that he will return the money - with excusable interest on top of what was borrowed. You'll be home on Thursday after eight, I'll come over? Yes, I will, I answer. Great, he says. Sorry again.
Eight months later. I cross the road, and the first one in the far right lane in front of the traffic light is his car. I unfold the Vedomosti, put it on the hood and sit on top. “Give me my money, I’m waiting,” I say. He gets out, takes out his wallet, digs around, and pulls out half the amount. No, they say, I’m sorry, and that’s what it is. When I ask about the rest, I understand that it is useless: everything will be the same as it already was. I’ll give it back by the end of the week, he says. And got back into the car.
What could I do? Punch him in the face? It would be nice. I tried. However, when I grabbed the door, it turned out that it was locked. I had to kick this very door, leaving a decent dent. These are your excused percentages, I say. Without opening the window, he read my lips and drove off.
There is only one thing surprising in this story - Sergei turned out to be not who I thought he was. Everything else is generally clear. It is interesting, however, that the question is - why show up six months later, if it is already clear that there will be no money? — arose only among the women to whom I told this story. Moreover, they reacted very emotionally, and Sergei, as a rule, aroused in them terrible, burning hatred. Okay, I took it and didn’t return it, but why call and promise if you’ll deceive me anyway, they said, turning not so much to me as to their own, as I understand it, heartfelt experience. Simply put, they projected classic money deception onto male deception in general.
What could I say to them in response? That their question is rhetorical and eternal? That making promises is more dangerous than not wanting to make them? That promises are a credit of trust, which, although taken on favorable terms - without interest - still remains a loan. And this, as you know, is a scheme in which the one who took it will always be glad not to return what he took. And the creditor will inevitably begin to cause irritation.
Here you also need to keep in mind the difference between the promises that men make to each other and the promises to women. In the first case, failure to fulfill what was promised is simply a fact in itself, in the second there is a fact and a bunch of aggravating circumstances: where he promised, how he looked, how many days (exact number) he did not call, what he was wearing (“that stupid green hat of his. That’s how I felt you couldn’t trust a man wearing such a hat!”).
“Women talk to each other the same way men talk to men. But women always pay attention to details” - Amy Winehouse was right three hundred times.
A woman wants to take a man’s word, she often insists and at the same time always admits that she is being deceived. Such, you know, the feverish trembling of a card player who has put everything on the line and is watching the hand. “Keep what you promise” is one of the fetishes of the weaker sex in relation to the stronger sex, an important item in the list of traits of the ideal Him, well, you know, “a real man always keeps his word.”
It is, in general, correct and understandable: the one who can be responsible for his words is cool and has a wide back (which, of course, any woman really wants to hide behind, even if she goes for a technical inspection herself and has mastered the iPad without outside help). At the same time, the inability to keep promises is almost the main complaint against men. Type the keywords “man” and “promises” into Google and the three most popular options will automatically appear in the window: “a man doesn’t keep promises”, “a man doesn’t keep promises” and – only the third number – “a man keeps promises”. Moreover, if you try this most optimistic option, you will see links to texts with the headings “Why men don’t keep their promises”, “Empty and false promises of men about love to supposedly loved ones. " and "How to make a man keep his promises." Hmmm, here it is, reputation.
Not for the purpose of self-defense, but I will note: most often a man promises something that he will not fulfill for two reasons: in an effort to wishful thinking (to show himself better than he really is, to gain the notorious credit of trust) or hoping to get away from the conflict, hoping to put out the fire with the magic words “I promise.” Although no, I’m lying, there is a third reason, and it is very important. This is pressure from a woman. It sounds pathetic, and yet let’s admit, girls, that you often put pressure on us, creating a situation in which it is almost impossible not to promise. Although no one argues, a man has his own head on his shoulders, and if he blurted out something without thinking, on the spur of the moment, this hardly justifies him.
I’m not saying that every empty promise we make is the woman’s fault, and, of course, the man who pulled the wool over the lady’s ears takes full responsibility for what was said. However, female blackmail, often perhaps unintentionally, is a common thing. Tears, pouting lips. Offended tone. Denial of sex. Anything goes. I am wrong?
While you are throwing stones at me, I will tell you a story. Unfortunately, every woman has enough examples of classic male deception in her memory stash, so I won’t add fuel to the fire. My story has a happy ending, which, however, no one expected.
A friend of mine dated a girl for several years. Oddly enough, the girl didn’t really dream of marriage, but she wanted a child. And slowly but surely it led to this. The friend kicked back. It’s not that he didn’t want to, it’s not that he didn’t love his friend - well, he was just afraid of the unknown, which is why he hesitated. But the screws were tightened, and at some point there was nowhere to retreat.
One fine winter night - again on the spur of the moment - my friend promised that he would give his beloved everything she wanted for her birthday. A friend wanted a child. Okay, said the friend and began to count how long he had left to live. The birthday was scheduled for December 15th. There were two weeks left. Of course he deceived her.
Conception did not happen. What he said there, what reasons he made up, it doesn’t matter now. The main thing is that the project did not take place. There was a hell of a scandal, my friend packed her things and left. On New Year's Eve, they met in the apartment of mutual friends, and the friends specially arranged everything - they invited both. Friends, on the one hand, behaved incorrectly and interfered in someone else’s personal life, but, on the other hand, they did everything right. In short, the couple met, had a fight again, and made up closer to the morning. They did conceive a child, however, almost a year later, in November, and this is the very case when it’s better late. Why is it better late?
Because the new year was 1998. There was a default in August. Both lost their jobs. By November, things had more or less improved - it’s not that the work was decent, but it was in principle, which was already cool in that situation. Then everything began to improve and by the summer it was almost back to its original position. Their son was born in July 1999. And if they had conceived on December 15, 1997, it would have been possible to be born, it’s clear when, do the math for yourself. By not keeping his word, my friend got into big problems, but avoided even bigger ones: giving birth to a child in the midst of a crisis is, you know, not a fountain.
Of course, this is just an accident, an exception to the rule, which does not at all justify failure to fulfill a given word, but the winners are not judged, right?
Barbra Streisand once said, “I could make a whole book out of the promises men made to me in bed.” Remember these golden words, and your life will be much easier.
And finally. If a man promises and NEVER keeps his word, this is a diagnosis. Draw conclusions as quickly as possible. If mistakes happen... well, they just happen, then you need to be careful in your judgments. And consider each mistake separately.
Yes, and I have a request for you - don’t push. Otherwise, we know these twists of female logic.
She: I want such and such.
Him: I can’t. (Tears, lips, refusal of sex.)
He did not keep his promise.
She: You deceived me! Why?
Him: Because you put pressure on me!
She: SO YOU SHOULD NOT GIVE IN! I WOULD STAND ON MY OWN! OR ARE YOU NOT A MAN?
After all, women are fantastic creatures. Thank you for being here.
PS. The friend we were talking about at the beginning, the one who cheated me out of money, many years later was left without a business. He lent everything he had, hoping to receive a substantial commission. And he didn’t receive anything - neither the commission nor what he gave. I have nothing to do with this. But when I found out, as you understand, I didn’t cry. Still, credit of trust, hmm, is a delicate thing.
Hirst Shkulev Publishing
Moscow, st. Shabolovka, building 31b, 6th entrance (entrance from Konny Lane)
Source: Why don't men keep their promises? Two words - “man” and “promises” - are very often supplemented by a third - “unfulfilled”. Igor Kuzmichev explains why this happens. I had a friend. One day he says to me: “Give me https://www.elle.ru/otnosheniya/lubov-i-seks/pochemu-mujchiny-ne-vypolnyayut-obeschaniya/
Husband does not respect his wife, signs of disrespect: hidden and obvious
There are several things that indicate a lack of respect, both subtle and overt.
Disrespect must be detected in order to take timely action
Open signs:
- Doesn't listen to his wife. He doesn’t care what happens at her work, with her friends, etc.
- Refuses to help around the house. Women do all the housework themselves: cleaning, washing, carrying heavy bags, raising children.
- Constantly criticizes. The reasons are very different: appearance (figure, hairstyle, makeup, clothes), words, behavior, household chores. Negative assessments apply to girlfriends, relatives and everything else that is dear.
- Doesn't wish you happy holidays. Yes, it’s difficult after 20 years of marriage to celebrate the date of 1 kiss, but when a spouse forgets about a birthday or considers the event unimportant, it means that he does not appreciate the one who is next to him.
Hidden signs:
- His friends or mom know more. He doesn’t share his plans with his partner and doesn’t let him in on things.
- He doesn’t introduce him to his friends, he doesn’t bring him into his circle.
- He does not see a fragile woman in his wife and perceives him as an equal.
- It prohibits you from doing what you love, hobby or work. This is veiled by good intentions and external concern.
- Doesn't keep his word, ignores promises.
- Pays attention to other women and flirts actively.
- Spends time on the phone or computer.
Success with a man
Hello, it's Lesha Dar .
Now I’ll help a girl with her difficult situation that happened to her, and her question is “ A man doesn’t keep his word ”
By the way, if you want to find the man you love or want to change your boyfriend/husband for the better right now, then
If you have a question for me, then write, I will answer you personally .
I have been giving advice to girls for 5 years, I have a lot of experience. (all confidential). Copy my email from here below and write.
My personal email: [email protected] (all free)
And here is her letter:
Hi Aleksey. You write great, the necessary information is in the articles. Situation: I have been dating a guy for 10 months (of which 4 we did not communicate - on his initiative). I learned to live without him, I resigned myself, everything began to get better, as he again began to talk about eternal love, etc.
I love him, so I gave in. What's the point? I really wanted to open my own studio in one of the beauty industries. I don’t have the required amount , and it won’t appear soon. I told him about it, but didn’t ask for money. Just, by the way, I told the situation. He himself offered to invest several times.
He says, “I’ll transfer you the money, do what you need so that by the time I arrive, everything is ready,” now he is in another country . I suggested, “Come on, as soon as you arrive, you’ll give it. You never know, maybe you won’t like me for some reason.” As a result, we discussed everything for several weeks, made adjustments to what and how it would happen in the studio.
I walked around, chose rooms, sent him photos, pictures of furniture, etc., we decided everything together. And I’ve already rented a room, signed an agreement , ordered furniture, they started making it - there’s no turning back. He is aware of all this.
Yesterday morning he told me “ go to the bank, find out how I can send you money.” I went to the bank, found out, called him back, told him everything, “yes, yes, I’m going to the bank now, I’ll send everything, I’ll call you back later.” As a result, I waited for him for several hours, and then he wrote to me “I won’t send you anything, it’s all very similar to a scam.”
And that’s it, today he made me feel guilty. I paid the penalty for renting the premises with my own money. I canceled all agreements with girls who wanted to work with me, etc. And I don't know what to do. On the one hand, I understand him - to send money, a large sum and worry about it, that not returning to him is quite normal and reasonable. But why bother with this whole show?
Today he said that “all of you women are the same, you only need money.” Another month before he arrives. I want to talk to him seriously today and suggest to him how to somehow live this month, trusting each other, and when he arrives, everything will be seen and decided. Because such issues can be resolved via video conference.
P.S. I wasn't going to throw him away . All my intentions were honest! I justify him only by the fact that, by relative standards, he is wealthy and from his stories, I know that he had several girls who took advantage of his material condition. And he grew up with a schizophrenic father, which could have specifically influenced his perception of the world.
So, let's understand this situation.
And I’ll say right away that before sex and before a serious relationship you should always check any man for lice . I’m not talking about lousy checks on men in skirts who try to manipulate men and squeeze money and time out of them.
Now I’m talking about normal girls who definitely need to understand whether this is a man or an ordinary idle talker.
And any man is always checked in emergency situations , when something unusual has happened, as a result of which the comfort zone is completely removed and only the man decides what to do next.
Let me give you a few examples from life. (at the very beginning of the relationship 1-2 months)
For example, you are walking with a guy, and a gopnik or an inadequate person comes up to you and starts yelling something at you or gropes you. How will your boy behave in this situation? And what will he do in this situation? And if the guy stands like a statue and smiles, then you can safely dump him without a twinge of conscience, you are clearly not on the same path with him.
You were admitted to the hospital, for example, you got the flu or broke your arm, what will your boyfriend do at these moments, and how will he behave. If the guy forgets about you and sometimes calls , then again, dump him. He will not help you out in a difficult situation.
You have a problem that needs to be solved and you ask the guy to do it, and if the guy walks away from it and doesn’t strive to solve it, comes up with excuses , puts the responsibility on you, like you’ll do everything yourself, then say goodbye to him again, there’s no point in him will not happen in the future.
Now let's get back to your situation.
You have everything that I described above, plus the guy is most likely inadequate. Those. he promises to help you, leads everything to the point of no return, and then abandons you with all the ensuing consequences. It’s the same as if he got you pregnant, and in the 9th month of pregnancy, the boy tells you that he’s not on your way and runs away from you into the unknown.
What do we have to do?
Any girl should stay away from such guys and not get involved with them. If you forgive him, then he will constantly do dirty tricks on you in the future . This guy has no inner core, plus he has obvious problems with his head. Because a sane person would not perform a performance knowing the consequences.
Or he hates women so much that with this dirty trick and performance he raises his self-esteem and takes pleasure when he makes you hurt and unpleasant.
By the way, you got off easy, you could have ended up with a larger sum and lost it because of this philanderer.
This article is only a small part of what is on my website ; it contains a lot of useful and practical information on this and other topics that interest you. You can immediately successfully use this information in practice with a man, without wasting your time.
By the way, if you want to find the man you love or want to change your boyfriend/husband for the better right now, then
If you have a question for me, then write, I will answer you personally .
I have been giving advice to girls for 5 years, I have a lot of experience. (all confidential). Copy my email from here below and write.
My personal email: [email protected] (all free)
What girls say about the articles:
“Lesha, from the moment I started reading your articles, I changed my life a lot. If you apply your advice, then not only your relationship with your husband, but your whole life will change for the better. Sveta, Moscow
“Thank you so much Lesha. The advice from your articles is useful, they change your own psychology and attitude towards the world and men. Now everything in my life has changed dramatically. Thankful to you!" Anna, Ukraine
“Lesha, thank you so much for what you do. You help people find each other, while breaking all the stereotypes of how girls behave with guys. After your advice, it becomes easier to communicate with men and live in general. It turns out that everything is simple!)” Katya, Minsk.
Source: Success with a man “A man doesn’t keep his word” By the way, if you want me (Lesha Dar) to analyze your situation with a man on this or another topic, then https://lesha-dar.ru/mygchina-ne- dergit-slovo/
When the problem is the man
Women love to talk about their husbands in a negative way. It’s ugly, but sometimes they are right: “Yes, I was in a hurry, didn’t see it well, jumped out to get married, and he turned out to be the hero of a novel that wasn’t mine.”
The key word here is “hurried.” After all, a couple of years of living together without children wouldn’t hurt. The first two years are a time of grinding in characters, and they should not be in the bouquet and candy period, but in life together. At this time, you get to know a person, and there is no point in expecting him to change.
So what could you have missed in his character because of your haste?
Infantilism
The man did not succeed as an adult. Responsibility for him is something from the realm of fantasy. You need to take care of him yourself rather than calling him to some serious actions.
Mental infantilism has nothing to do with mental retardation. A man is not a fool, he perceives the world as it is, but he has no desire to work on himself and develop.
How can you recognize an infantile man:
- He is unable to make independent decisions. He needs to be pushed literally with a poke in the back. Otherwise, all his ideas are childish nonsense.
- He has no goals in life. Life goes with the flow - and that’s okay. No interests, no aspirations, no inspiration for exploits.
- He has dependent tendencies. He doesn't mind being henpecked as long as he isn't touched or forced to make decisions.
- It's difficult to communicate with him. It’s impossible to talk about different topics or laugh at subtle witticisms. There is even a whole article on this topic: What to do if your boyfriend is stupid.
- He is incapable of adaptation. It is difficult for him to change anything in his life, since it is real stress for him. He perceives changing jobs or moving as a disaster.
Why does this happen to adult-looking men? The main reason is the strange upbringing of the parents. Especially if the head of the family has always been an authoritarian mother, and the father in the last role. Or it wasn't there at all. Before her marriage, the mother wiped her “child’s” nose, told him what to do, and the guy simply relaxed his brain.
What to do with such an infant? In principle, this is not the worst option, because its main distinguishing feature is that it is a follower. In the article Should a man support his family, you will find out all the options for what can be done with him: does he have any abilities, is it possible to enlist the help of an influential person, where should he work, knowing his psychotype.
You can direct him yourself if you really care about this person. It’s a disaster for that family if both the husband and wife are both naive and childish. They can multiply endlessly, live in poverty on child benefits and hope for a miracle that will not happen.
You may also be interested in: How to love your husband again if your feelings gradually cool down
Laziness and selfishness
This is the case when the guy is far from a fool, but he lifts a finger only when the benefit shines specifically on him. “What will I get for this?” - this phrase is often found among lazy egoists.
Such a man is in no hurry to get married. And if he has already decided, then “hold on wife”: her commanding voice means nothing to him, he will either walk away from the scandal, or he will slam his fist on the table.
The woman who thinks that the birth of a child will push this bumpkin to some kind of action is stupid. He is an egoist, he loves only himself, children can only aggravate an already shaky relationship, because their crying will disturb his sleep, and outdoor games with them are beyond the strength of the idiot.
Besides:
- He will not strain himself at physically difficult work, because this can undermine his precious health and fragile psyche.
- He will not take care of children with Fr. By the way, if this is true, then he will be right.
- He will firmly differentiate the financial budget into “mine” and “common”. Moreover, the advantage will be on his side: the family can do without spiritual food, but he cannot.
What can be done? Egoists are very vulnerable deep down, and someone else’s opinion is not an empty phrase for them. But for them the intonation of what is said is important. If his wife is hysterical, then his majestic ears do not catch the scream. If she praises him, he melts. You can read about this in the article What to do if your husband is selfish.
The opinions of others (relatives, friends, acquaintances) are also of great importance. If they threateningly urge him to work for his family, he will most likely break off all relations with his advisers.
It’s another matter if they act wisely: they admire his achievements, intelligence and success (although all this is questionable), and they hint that what kind of family you have is so strange, it doesn’t match you: the wife is poorly dressed, the children don’t go to their circles walking. Teach your wife to be a real lady, take her shopping, take her to the salon, take these pale ones out on a picnic to sunbathe.
For an egoist, no matter how lazy he is, it is very important that he has all the best, even a family, at least for show. He moved from his place - admire him, rejoice, like a girl, at his gifts. There is no other way with him.
