The child does not respect his parents. How to raise a child

Causes

Mom and dad may not be interested in the child if they became parents too early and did not have time to play around.
Let's look at in what cases children may suspect their parents of not loving them.

Mom and Dad became parents too early, they haven’t gotten around to it yet, they haven’t learned to be independent.
There is alcohol or drug addiction.
The parent has a personality disorder. There is complete control over the child’s actions, manipulation, and frequent insults towards him.
Fear of responsibility. Perhaps parents are afraid of raising their child incorrectly through their actions, so they do not want to interfere.
Being too busy or having problems at work can also cause a child to feel unloved.
Having other children in the family who need more care.
The desire to make your dreams come true in a child. In such cases, the child is sent to a club that he does not like, or sent to a university that he chooses.
There may be narcissistic behavior going on. The father or mother lives as if for themselves, and does not notice their child. When a child achieves success, they tell all their friends about it to brag.
Your parents may copy the behavior model of their mom and dad.
The desire for a child to be the best and most successful often leads to excessive demands, sometimes to punishment.

If you answered “yes” to more than 6 questions

You are lucky - your parents love you, they are not indifferent to you. Perhaps now, because of your age, you have ceased to understand each other. Parents are unhappy with your behavior or bad grades and therefore get angry. Try to look at yourself through their eyes.

Do you help your mom around the house or act like a princess in a palace with servants?

How do you feel about studying, do you spend too little time on your lessons?

Don't you demand too much from your parents: fashionable clothes, an iPhone, expensive cosmetics are not affordable for everyone.

Try to conduct an experiment - become an obedient girl, show your love for your parents - ask them “how are you?”, prepare sandwiches for everyone in the morning, wash the dishes after lunch, or when your mother is cooking, ask “Mommy, let me help you.” Instead of staying out late, spend at least one evening at home, help your mom or just tell her about things at school.

Do they really not like

There is no need to accept prohibitions or punishments from parents for their dislike

You may have often heard from your peers, especially in adolescence, the phrase “my parents don’t like me,” and it is possible that you yourself have often said this. But is it really the indifference of mom and dad, their hatred, or is it really the child’s erroneous opinion? Often, true love can be hidden behind a strict attitude or excessive pickiness. The fact is that parents may be unable to express their feelings, or children may mistake their care and concern for hatred.

Pay attention to your parents' reaction to your victories and achievements. Loving people will praise and congratulate you. If they really don't care, they will ignore and sometimes even ridicule your achievements.
If your parents completely control your every step and don’t allow you to make your own decisions at all, it means they have a negative attitude. Although some mothers try to protect their child from bad things and difficulties in this way, not realizing that they are harming him.
Pay attention to whether there is a connection between you on an emotional level. For example, in a situation where a baby is upset about something, perhaps crying, a loving parent will try to calm him down, hug him, while another will just ignore him or even start screaming.
If you hear insults directed at you every day and receive moral humiliation, you are not loved. A loving mother and father should support their child, praise him, and not insult him in any way.

What to do

If you have ever heard the phrase “I don’t respect my mother,” then you probably have a desire to know how to behave in such a situation, how to change this child’s attitude.

Set a goal for yourself and follow it. No matter how difficult it may be when communicating with a child, you need to understand that you dream of him being happy. You need to believe that the baby is, in fact, a responsible and good person. Ignore failures and stress. Remember what you want your baby to be. Before saying anything to a child, you need to think carefully and weigh everything, because sometimes it is words that deeply wound the child’s psyche.
No matter what, you must have a positive attitude towards your child. Convince yourself that the baby is initially kind and good. When communicating with a child, a parent should not forget about his essence; he can directly talk about how he wants to see him in order to achieve interaction.
There must be an understanding that you and your baby have equal rights.
There is no need to be afraid of collisions, or worry that sooner or later the child will declare that he feels hatred or wants to run away from home. You must understand that fears materialize. In addition, children often resort to this method to manipulate, force their parents to do what they need, even blackmail. You don’t need to unquestioningly fulfill all the child’s demands, you need to be able to fight back.
Learn to trust your baby, entrust him with a responsible task. This will help get rid of unnecessary lies in relationships. However, if you deliberately ask your child unnecessary questions or concentrate your negative attention on him, deception cannot be avoided. For example, you should not ask “have you cleaned up your room?”, it is better to say “I would like to see how beautiful your room has become.”
Be on the same page with your son or daughter, treat their desires and hobbies normally, if necessary, remember yourself at their age and don’t say phrases like “I couldn’t afford that at your age.” Look for common topics of conversation, indicate your interest in the child’s problems, and provide support.
Respect the baby. Act in his interests, explain your actions, comment on your prohibitions. There is no need to think that he is too small and does not understand anything.

Adviсe

Let's look at the answers to the question of what to do if your parents don't love you.

Talk to a friend about the situation in your family. It will become easier for you if you manage to talk it out in front of someone close to you. The main thing is not to become too dependent on this person.
Try to find a mentor among your relatives and people close to your family. Let this person help you cope with difficult situations, deal with school subjects or problems at work. This could be an uncle or a coach, a school teacher. It is important not to become too attached and to maintain your independence.
If you are too depressed by the current situation, seek advice from a school psychologist or psychotherapist. A specialist will teach you how to cope with the situation in which you find yourself.
There is no need to overreact to the fact that parents devote more time to their brother or sister. This does not mean that the other child is more dear to them. Most likely, some life circumstances are to blame and the parents may not even notice that they are spending more time with him. Often, mom and dad do not realize that this behavior is causing emotional trauma to one of their children. There is no need to reproach your parents for their lack of love; it is better to try to spend more time with them, to do everything so that they can be proud of you.
If your parents scold or criticize you, you should not immediately think that this is hatred. In fact, their behavior may be due to increased anxiety and concern for your health, and may also be caused by problems at work or other troubles. Be understanding and don't take everything to heart.
There are cases when children, thinking that they are not loved, begin to behave badly, become attached to alcohol, and try to smoke. You must understand, even if mom and dad really don’t feel love, this is not a reason to ruin your life. You must live for yourself. There's still a whole life ahead.
Try to replace all the negativity you receive with positive emotions. If your parents insult you or try to humiliate you, you should not succumb to their provocations and believe in the words you hear. Always tell yourself that you are a beautiful, smart and successful person.
If the atmosphere at home is tense, try to spend more time outside of it. Join a club, a sports section, attend events, volunteer, or just meet with friends.
If you are being abused by your father or mother, you must inform your teacher, doctor, or school psychologist about this. You must understand that they have no right to behave this way.
Sometimes parents don't like adult children. This can be manifested by their concern for the younger ones and indifference to the elders, or by the fact that they continue to insult and morally oppress the grown-up children. In such a situation, if possible, it is better to move to a separate living space and stop communicating with them.
If your parents do not pay attention to your life at all, you will have to learn to be independent and take care of yourself. But you shouldn’t quit your studies or give up on your life. Remember that you are a successful person and can achieve anything, despite the indifference of your parents.
If your parents forbid you to do something, this does not mean that they treat you badly. Think, perhaps what you are planning is really not worth doing, put yourself in the place of your father or mother. You must understand that these people are more experienced than you, they know better.
You don’t need to think that everyone around you doesn’t love you, you shouldn’t distance yourself from other relatives and people who are not indifferent to your fate. You really need their support. By being left alone with your problems, you risk getting a whole range of diseases caused by stress.

Now you know that not in every case what we take as dislike really is. If your parents really don’t notice you, you don’t need to treat yourself that way. You must be strong, go through life boldly, build your own destiny.

How to teach respect

From childhood, teach your child to show concern for loved ones

Teach your child gratitude. This is an important guarantee of respect. The problem is that some children do not appreciate the efforts that parents make in raising them. They take parental care for granted. For example, two situations. The first is a teenage boy running away from home because no skates were bought for him. He believes that his parents do not love him and do nothing for him. This is despite the fact that he has absolutely everything that a teenager needs, and the videos were not purchased largely due to the risk to his health. And another case is a poor family in which a child is growing up. The kid sees how hard his parents have to work, everything so that he can eat normally, sees how they give him the last piece of bread. He is grateful to them for this. Growing up, such a person remembers all his life how his parents took care of him.
When your child does not notice at all what you do for him, this is also your fault. When we begin to fulfill every whim of our baby, we deny ourselves many things just to make him feel good, we are simply raising a spoiled person who will not appreciate anything and will believe that this is how it should be. It is unacceptable for parents to put their own interests below the needs of the child. If a mother does not have the opportunity to buy new boots for herself, and she wears ones with holes, then she should not think that she can spend another winter in them, just to buy her son a new console. Another situation is when parents shower their child with things and gifts in order to compensate for their absence when they spend a lot of time at work. You just need to understand that material objects cannot replace true love. Don’t be surprised if the child starts making trouble, lying, hysterical, or doing anything just to get attention. It is not the best situation when parents are absolutely indifferent to their child. The child grows up with a feeling of uselessness and uselessness.
We teach the child to care. You probably won’t be surprised by the situation when a teenager’s mother gets sick, and he is unable to give her a glass of water. Or a small child, being next to a sick parent, demands that he get up and play with him. The task of parents from early childhood is to accustom their baby to care. Let him help with the housework, help cook, spoon feed his mother. There is no need to be afraid that there will be a revolution in the kitchen or that you will be forced to spend too much of your time in order to monitor the process of preparing food with your child’s hands. Instilling care from the cradle will have a positive impact on the process of growing up and becoming a person. And there is no need to scold the baby if he spilled half the tea while bringing it to you, otherwise the desire to show care will very quickly disappear. Let the baby become responsible from childhood, and let you be calm about his mistakes, because he is still just learning.
We instill in the child a love of work. The mother should arrange the process in such a way that during cleaning the child helps her at least a little around the house, for example, wiping off the dust or helping to wash a few dishes. Show your child that before you can relax and sit down to watch a cartoon, you need to work hard. Explain to your child that in order to keep the house clean and comfortable, you need to make an effort and this should not be done only by the mother. You can also distribute areas of responsibility between the children, for example, assign someone to water the flowers, someone to wipe the dust, someone to wash the dishes after the cat.
Parental example. You need to understand that your child will not develop respect for you if you yourself are disrespectful to other people. Remember that children adopt our behavior model; they copy our actions. You can’t demand from a child not to spit from the window if dad does this, you can’t scold your daughter for walking around the house in dirty clothes if mom behaves the same way. After this, it will not be surprising if you hear the phrase “I don’t respect my father and mother” from my child. Remember that children copy not only the positive aspects of their parents, but also everything they see. Don't forget that they are your mirror image. Understand that a child may behave disrespectfully if he does not see a worthy example of behavior. Learn to maintain your authority and be worthy of respect. It is also important that there is mutual respect between parents, otherwise they will fall in the eyes of the child.

Now you know what to do if your daughter or son does not respect you. Remember that the characteristics of upbringing are of great importance in the development of such an attitude. We must not forget that parents themselves set an example for their child. Spend time with your child, teach him to take care of loved ones and help others.