Doubts in a person: main reasons and ways to overcome them

The philosopher Jean Buridan lived in France in the 14th century. I composed a lot of things. But he was remembered by posterity for his parable about a donkey who died of hunger because he couldn’t choose which one was better to start with from two identical armfuls of hay. Don't we also look like such ass when we try to make an important decision?

Our expert is psychologist Marianna Gorskaya.

From early childhood until the end of our days, we are forced to live in a state of constant choice. What to wear: a blue dress or a red one? Which fan would you prefer: reliable or witty? Where to go to study: to a prestigious university or where it is easier? Which job to choose: profitable or interesting? And so - in everything. I really don’t want to make a mistake when the choice concerns really important things!

A million torments

Article on the topic

Sixth sense or life experience? Famous people who were helped by intuition The easiest way in this regard is for fatalists and indifferences. You float according to the will of the waves - where fate will steer you, and you don’t know trouble. Whichever dress hangs closest is what you should wear. Whichever suitor is more persistent will marry him. Whichever employer shows more interest will get it. People with developed intuition also have a good life, as well as those who consider themselves such, and therefore are convinced that their choice is always infallible. Everyone else suffers, doubts, despairs and wonders how global decisions can be made, relying on ephemeral intuition or the blind will of fate! However, it is precisely this approach, condemned by many, that, according to psychologists, often contains great life wisdom. After all, it’s impossible to calculate all the possible developments of events, so sometimes it’s better to just trust your sixth sense or even rely on Russian chance. And then act according to the circumstances.

But before you take the final step, it would be nice to weigh everything carefully. And only if, after much thought, the answer does not come by itself, then you can use your intuition or take risks.

What is the power of doubt

Of course, the power of doubt is that it makes you stop and think. Are you doing the right thing, are you going where you want to go? Will your much-desired dream REALLY make you happier?

But it is important not to get stuck at this stage, but to move on - analyze, answer questions and draw conclusions. For example:

Yes. I'm going the wrong way. But I want to go there, and therefore I’m still ready to try.
Yes. I'm going to the wrong place and I don't need to go there at all.
No. I go there. And I need to go there.
Not sure if I'm going there. But it's never too late to come back, and I'll try to take another step.

Of course, you may have your own options. However, note that they must all be “finite”. That is, you answer the main question for yourself: “whether I want it or not.” And, if you look even deeper, this is an opportunity to hear your Soul. Which, in dialogue with consciousness, will help you understand what she really wants. And most importantly, after you have received the answers and chosen for yourself whether to continue moving towards the goal or not, then the next step is to start taking action.

Because as soon as you get stuck thinking about the endless questions that your consciousness will kindly throw at you, doubts will appear in even greater quantities. By taking action, you get rid of doubt.

Of course, if you always act immediately, without thinking, it will also be of little use. But in this case, the picture clearly illustrates how often we find a thousand reasons and excuses not to start doing something. Therefore, do not allow yourself to get stuck in unproductive doubt.

Comprehensive approach

There are many rational methods of decision making. For example, there is a well-known psychological technique: write down the pros and cons of a particular choice on a piece of paper in two columns, and then use a simple mathematical calculation to decide which one is more profitable. There is a more advanced way. It is called "Descartes square". This method of decision-making is ideal when you need to choose whether to take a life-changing step or whether it is better to leave everything as is. For example, you can resort to this method to decide whether to divorce your husband or not, change your job or stay the same, take out a mortgage or not, put up with your mother-in-law or not communicate with her for the rest of your days. The essence of this simple technique is to look at the situation more broadly, not from one or two, but from four different sides. To do this, you need to divide a sheet of paper into 4 columns and answer 4 questions:

What will happen if this happens? (The benefits of getting what you want.)
What happens if this doesn't happen? (Pros of not getting what you want.)
What will NOT happen if this happens? (Disadvantages of getting what you want.)
What will NOT happen if this does NOT happen? (Disadvantages of not getting what you want.)

After all, we often consider only the pros and cons of the occurrence of a possible event, but do not take into account the positive and negative aspects of the “status quo”. And a comprehensive assessment allows you to avoid unnecessary risks. And then you won’t have to endure annoying losses that could have easily been avoided. We wish you to make fewer mistakes!

Making a choice is always difficult for me. I usually consult with close people. As for things, I can choose something for an hour and end up choosing nothing, but I can quickly decide in 15 minutes, in the mode of strict necessity, and then I will wear this thing for several years.
— Elena Maksimova

Feelings of doubt and indecisiveness. Reasonable Doubt

If you are tormented by doubts and indecision

Feelings of doubt and indecision plague you. Reasonable doubt. How to deal with doubts

I have already written on my website what doubt is, but now let’s look at what doubts exist and how we should approach doubts so that they do not torment us.

When we say that a person is visited by doubt, it means that he is not sure of some of his actions, his behavior or words from which he expects the result he needs. But think about it: can we be completely sure of anything? You can be sure of this - we cannot!

Even something that at first glance is completely beyond doubt cannot be 100% true, because at one or another second anything can happen.

The extent to which we now doubt or, on the contrary, feel confident, may depend on many factors - our physical health, general tone, the chemical reactions that have begun in the body and our mood.

To do this, it is enough to remember ourselves in different states, when we feel well rested and energetic, when we are in a bright mood - then doubts almost do not bother us.

But if we feel bad, we are emotionally devastated and exhausted, then the feeling of doubt becomes sharp as glass, and in our head there are mostly only negative thoughts

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That is, doubt directly depends on the emotional state in which we are now arriving, which means that many doubts have nothing to do with reality , they are simply in vain and the reason for these doubts is our poor psycho-emotional state at the moment.
In general, our doubts are inevitable and natural , like many other things in our lives. Doubts always accompany us, in all our endeavors and changes, be they small or large. More risky undertakings bring with them more intrusive and strong doubts and indecision, but this does not mean that this feeling must necessarily be gotten rid of.

It is precisely because people are very biased towards doubts and struggle with them in every possible way that internal conflict occurs, a feeling of anxiety and internal discomfort arises.

Defining reasonable doubt:

You must understand that the very feeling of doubt is not given to us just like that; it is not in vain that nature intended it. Simply taking and ignoring all the doubts in a row will be wrong, you need to listen to them like an adviser who fears everything and trusts nothing, this is simply the very essence of doubt.

After all, doubts can warn us about something, they inform us about the limits of our capabilities, so that we do not commit stupid and unjustified actions, and do not behave too arrogantly. They seem to ask us again, saying: “Are you really sure of these actions, or maybe think again, maybe there is a more effective solution (choice)?”

Here you just need to use common sense and a calm head, WITHOUT EXTRA EMOTIONS, to determine for yourself how justified the doubt is and whether there are good reasons to listen to it.

After thinking it over once, if your doubts do not go away, analyze it a second time, but if this does not help, finally make a firm decision and stop, give yourself time.

Thoughts of doubt can be compared to a friend who always criticizes and doubts everything, who wants to protect us from mistakes, but who can also make mistakes simply because he is guided only by OLD experience and fear, which, in many cases, is not justified, absurd or washed away, but njkmrj slows down on the way to the goal.

You can and even need to doubt, this allows you to avoid false beliefs, but there is a limit to everything, and in any case you will need to make a choice, even if it is wrong.

It is important to stop and put an end to doubts, otherwise they will “eat” you.

And here there are two correct options - finally make a choice, make some decision, or completely abandon attempts to resolve the doubt and calmly ignore it.

But very often a person is stuck between these options, unable to do either one or the other, and this results in unnecessary stress and suffering.

Doubts and Choice Errors

In many cases, it is important to simply make a decision and put an end to it, and then act without regrets , even if doubts still remain, there is nothing wrong with that. I repeat, by and large, you can’t be 100% sure of anything.

After all, it is impossible to predict where certain actions will ultimately lead us. Even where you were right and achieved some result, it is not a fact that this positive result in the future will not turn into a defeat for you.

Therefore, in any case, if you doubt making a decision, accept it and act; it is better to make a mistake, gain experience and then adjust your actions than to do nothing at all. This way you turn your mistakes into future victories.

If I hadn't done the things I doubted, I would never have been able to write my book, create this website, or do much more.

Doubts as a barrier to change

In many cases, doubts only play the role of an internal barrier, an obstacle that does not give anything and does not communicate anything substantiated.

But this should not interfere with Beginnings, otherwise you can become a cowardly, anxious and inactive loser.

A confident person does not mean not doubting, and his confidence is not built on whether and how often he is visited by doubts. Self-confidence is determined by the ability to act decisively despite doubts and the possibility of failure.

It is very important here to learn not to get rid of doubts, but to learn to live with them .

And often, a feeling of doubt is just a state that has nothing to do with reality. If a person thinks that he cannot, that he will not succeed, this does not mean that this is exactly how everything will be.

Such doubts are often related only to our current state. If you feel bad, then there will always be more doubts. In a good mood, doubts themselves begin to weaken and go away. It's simply the relationship between our thoughts and overall well-being.

Therefore, if you cannot make a final choice, leave your doubts unresolved, nurture a decision without trying to find it right away, let time put everything in its place, trust your heart and fate.

Finally, about the feeling of doubt. Conclusion

— Always try to make the final choice and put an end to it, otherwise doubts will consume you.

— You shouldn’t try to force yourself to believe in something or, on the contrary, to convince yourself if it doesn’t work out. Just leave unresolved doubts without mental attention to them, ignore them, learn to live with this feeling.

— Doubts, for the most part, have no basis, they are in vain and are caused only by our bad mood or not feeling the best at the moment. Behind them, there may also be some fears, obsessiveness, illness or some other significant reasons hidden.

Doubts in such a situation, although they seem reasonable, are simply an obsessive, defensive reaction of the psyche.

And you need to learn to identify for yourself such states when you feel quite good and energetic, or when you are psycho-emotionally exhausted, feel bad, record and feel them, and then note to yourself what you feel and what comes to you. mind in these moments.

And in a bad mood, there is no point in attaching importance to doubts, just ignore them, calm down, don’t try to forcefully resolve everything, and then they will gradually dissolve on their own.

Sincerely, Andrey Russkikh

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Phraseologisms and set phrases

Some of the set expressions and phrases with the word “doubt” are literary, bookish, and are rarely used in everyday colloquial speech. At the same time, the word is quite popular, because it describes a common emotional state. Well-known expressions include the following:

to question;
without a doubt;
to cast doubt;
dispel/resolve doubts;
to question/be subject to doubt;
be in doubt.

Expanding vocabulary is necessary not only to increase the imagery and richness of speech, but also to read ordinary and professional literature, study foreign languages, increase erudition and the ability to clearly and eloquently express one’s thoughts both in written and oral form. The meaning of the word “doubt” and the ability to use it in several contexts will make it possible to rise one more step in all of the above directions.

Morphological and syntactic properties

Doubt is an inanimate noun of the neuter gender, 2nd type of declension. Root: -somn-, suffix –eni- and ending –e. According to the classification of A. A. Zaliznyak, the word belongs to the type of declension 7a.

Singular:

Them.	doubt
R.	doubts
D.	doubt
IN.	doubt
TV	doubt
Etc.	doubt

Plural:

Them.	doubts
R.	doubts
D.	doubts
IN.	doubts
TV	doubts
Etc.	doubts