Definition
Who is an indecisive person? The definition of this concept is this: this is a shy person who is unable to make decisions on her own. People of this type of character always need to ask for advice from others. Indecisive people are afraid of responsibility. Such fear extends not only to the area of work, but also to personal life.
A person who is afraid of making mistakes asks for advice from others and acts in accordance with the decisions made by other people. This way of thinking is absurd, because no one can guarantee that a recommendation given by someone will be beneficial. But this method of shifting responsibility onto someone else’s shoulders relieves the person of responsibility. If something goes wrong in life, then indecisive people say that the failures are not their fault, because the wrong decision was not the fruit of their intellectual activity, but the result of a hint from an outside individual.
Indecisiveness is worse than a failed attempt.
This phrase was said by the Spanish writer, author of the novel in the form of a drama “Celestina” Fernando de Rojas. Indeed, it is better to try and fail than to think for a long time and lose the opportunity to try. The human condition of indecision forces him to think for a long time, weigh the pros and cons. However, while you sit and decide what to do in a given situation, the train of opportunities will leave. And putting the burden of choice on another person is not always a good idea. The person helping to make a decision is doing a disservice. The fact is that an indecisive person will get used to having everything decided for him and, ultimately, will be completely unable to make decisions on his own. He will always seek help from others so that everything can be decided for him. Uncertainty will double, and the fear of making the wrong mistake can break a person’s psyche.
It’s true that you lose more from indecision than from a wrong decision. Indecision can lead to detachment, psychological problems, personality degradation, loss of friends and loved ones, as well as loss of opportunities that could lead to success. All this can lead to pathological indecision. It is important to overcome indecision as soon as it appears.
Everyone has a moment of cowardly indecision, all people doubt their actions. However, decisive people are distinguished by the fact that they look at all situations with optimism: they consider mistakes as experience or life lessons. They are not afraid to look into the future, move forward and develop. The main difference between a decisive person and an indecisive one is awareness. A decisive person is aware of the risk of choice, but still is not afraid to act.
Signs
What does an indecisive person look like? Such a person is easy to pick out from the crowd. The person behaves very modestly and tries to get lost behind other people. To better camouflage himself, he prefers to wear clothes in discreet colors (gray or black). The gaze of such a person does not focus on anything specific. When talking with an indecisive person, you may notice that she will not look into your eyes, but somewhere into the distance.
An indecisive person likes to hunch over. His movements are constrained, unnatural, and sometimes too fussy. The person is trying to become invisible, so he will try to close himself off from strangers. This can be clearly seen in the gestures of an indecisive person. He will assume closed postures, constantly crossing his arms and legs. That's what psychologists say.
In addition, you can notice that indecisive people shift from foot to foot for a long time before entering, for example, the office of some official; they sit with their knees together, while women clutch their handbag to their chest.
Modesty is another sign of a shy person. Such a person will never prove or show anything to anyone. The person will try not to stand out from the crowd. Among indecisive people there are often truly talented people, but they are afraid to demonstrate their abilities because they are not sure that others will appreciate their talent.
All problems come from childhood
Why are some people confident in themselves while others become indecisive? A person who is brought up in a normal family will grow into a worthy citizen without inferiority complexes. Unfortunately, many parents cannot raise their children normally, so even with the best wishes they manage to impose a bunch of complexes on their children. For example, in a family where parents love to teach, instruct and control everything, the child will grow up modest and downtrodden. Why? Overprotection will not allow the child to develop normally. The child will begin to love peace and quiet. Subsequently, he will be comfortable being in his own company, and not among other people.
Also, an indecisive person can grow out of a child for whom everything is always forbidden. Such persons get used to constantly asking adults what they can and cannot do. This habit becomes second nature and is very difficult to break later.
Attitude towards yourself
An extremely indecisive person is a person with low self-esteem. Such an individual is sure that he is worse than others, therefore he cannot act freely and liberatedly. A person has to constantly think about how to earn the love of others. But first you need to love yourself. It's difficult to convince someone that you are good if you don't believe it yourself. There is nothing wrong with openly admitting your problem. In this case, it will be easier to get rid of it.
If an individual realizes that he is modest and insecure, he needs to understand the nature of his complexes. You should take responsibility for your actions and not shift them to society. Even if an individual makes the wrong decision, it doesn’t make it worth loving oneself any less. An insecure person must understand that he is individual and unique. There is no other person like him in the world. Therefore, you should take care of yourself. You can start by introducing a daily ritual. When you approach the mirror in the morning, you should smile at your reflection and thank your parents, God, and the Universe for the fact that you are exactly who you are.
What is indecisiveness
Indecision is the fear of choice and the fear of making a mistake. An indecisive person begins to argue intrusively and annoyingly, thinks too slowly, becomes suspicious and timid, and also engages in soul-searching. All this is in order to shift the responsibility onto another person, who will free him from making a decision.
The feeling of indecisiveness causes many other emotions: self-doubt, self-pity, resentment of the world around us, fear of being judged by other people. All this prevents you from moving forward, being responsible and independent. Indecision is a character quality of people who will never take risks in life and will run away from problems. It is easier to find excuses for a problem and your behavior than to find a correct and correct solution. The manifestation of indecision is due to the fact that an indecisive person thinks that he has actually solved his problem, and has not put it off for later. The thing is that the brain perceives a “gone” problem as disappeared and solved.
“Indecisiveness is the thief of opportunity” - Jim Rohn quote. This quote more than ever accurately described the negative properties of indecision: it steals all hopes for a better future for a person, preventing him from developing and leaving him in his clouded mind. A person decides to stop indecision rather than make a firm decision and go towards the goal.
Approval from the outside
How to distinguish a confident person from a very indecisive person? If an individual constantly needs outside advice or is waiting for the approval of others, it means that he has internal problems. A person who has high self-esteem will love what he does. He will not have doubts about the correctness of his choice.
An indecisive person will think for a long time about what to do and what to do. This does not apply to making important decisions on which, for example, success in business depends. You can't act rashly here.
An indecisive person will always compare his opinion with what others say. If his opinion differs from what others say, such an individual will reconsider his views. He will not defend them. This kind of logic is stupid. A person's individuality is expressed in his actions. There is no point in pleasing everyone. You can ask others for advice, but not from everyone, but only from those whom you consider competent in a particular issue. After listening to criticism, you don’t need to blindly believe it. Consider whether you are actually being given good advice. Know how to listen to others, but do not blindly follow other people's recommendations, do not allow others to live instead of you.
What problems do indecisive people face?
What is indecisiveness: Causes, signs, consequences Photo: Depositphotos
People who rely on other people's opinions and shift responsibility for their actions to others face big problems in life. And they cause a lot of problems for others.
A person’s uncertainty and indecision is visible to the naked eye - this attracts swindlers of all stripes, sectarians. A person who relies on other people's opinions and thoughtlessly follows other people's advice is an easy prey for attackers.
Indecisive people miss opportunities. While they are in doubt, others are hired for high-paying jobs, and other people’s families move into their dream home. A person's indecision limits his prospects in any area - from career to romantic relationships.
An indecisive person strives to get away from problems - to simply pretend that they do not exist. But if problems are not solved, they accumulate and the situation gets worse. This leads to constant stress, and depression is just around the corner with all its “charms” - decreased vitality, chronic fatigue and lack of energy, a feeling of hopelessness and impasse, and accompanying illnesses.
Women are forgiven for being insecure, but men are condemned for this quality. Living with the stigma of being a loser is hard for anyone.
Indecision is clearly manifested in everyday life: it is difficult to make a purchase, choose a gift, or decide what to wear. Indecisive people have a hard time parting with old things. They cannot break off relationships, even if they are painful.
Why do you need to change?
It is difficult to fight your complexes, but it is necessary to do it. An indecisive person is called modest and shy. Many people encourage these qualities. But in reality, uncertainty causes more problems than benefits. Why does a person need to change? To become strong and independent, to be able to do what you want yourself, and not someone else. It's never too late to start making changes for the better. The sooner you start working on yourself, the better, because you will have more time to realize your desires.
Self confidence
Indecisive people ask others for advice even on small things. For example, what is best to cook for dinner, what blouse to choose, where to go on vacation, what movie to watch. But is this necessary? After all, you will eat, dress, and have fun, and not others. Why then choose what they like?
You can ask advice only from a person who has been able to reach certain heights in life, who has experience in any matter. Of course, his tips are very important. They will help you avoid mistakes. In all other cases, be guided by your tastes and preferences. Start building self-confidence. Psychologists give the following guidelines:
- Take responsibility for life into your own hands. Don't try to blame others for your failures. Make your own decisions. Yes, sometimes they will fail. But celebrating a victory is much more enjoyable if you realize that it is completely yours.
- Expand your circle of acquaintances. The wider your social circle, the better. New people will bring about changes in your life. Thanks to this, you will change without making Herculean efforts.
- Love yourself. Never do anything you don't want to do. Of course, this does not apply to duties that need to be performed, for example, to activities with one’s own children, to work, and so on. No one is telling you not to go to work because you don’t want to. It's another matter if you don't like her. Then don’t be afraid of change, look for a new vacancy.
Reasons for indecisiveness
What is indecision: Causes, signs, consequences Photo: Depositphotos
They are different. Sometimes the reasons for indecisiveness stretch back to childhood. Sometimes this is a consequence of stressful situations. Here are the most common ones.
Childhood
If parents overprotect the child, do not take into account his opinion, do not teach him and do not allow him to make decisions on his own, this skill will not appear by itself in adulthood. The person does not realize that now he must be responsible for his own choices.
Anxious parents who dramatize any events also do their child a disservice.
The other extreme is childhood trauma. When a child is forced to make decisions on his own, but is punished if he makes a mistake, he develops an insecure personality. She is subconsciously afraid and avoids making any decisions.
Perfectionism
Perfectionists have difficulty making choices because they strive to do everything perfectly. And if they are not sure of the result, they doubt it and refuse to act. The fear of making a mistake prevents you from making decisions.
By the way, the reasons for perfectionism itself also come from childhood.
Too many choices
When there are only two options, choosing is easy. But if you have to choose from several perspectives, you need to calculate all the results and consequences. And this is much more difficult to do. Therefore, many people find it difficult to choose when there are many options.
Diffidence
Unconfident people are indecisive. They do not strive to succeed in life. They do not defend their point of view, even if they are right - they are afraid of spoiling their opinion of themselves, offending them or becoming an object of criticism. They find it difficult to establish relationships. After all, they doubt their attractiveness and are afraid of not being liked or causing ridicule.
Procrastination
This is a state where a person systematically puts things off, even despite negative consequences. Procrastination is often triggered by self-doubt, perfectionism, low self-esteem, unresolved internal problems and lack of motivation. This whole set is inherent in indecisive people.
Lack of motivation
As a rule, indecisive people have no motivation or insufficient motivation to move towards their goal. And the goal itself may not exist. That is, a person is not interested in making decisions and taking responsibility for the result.
Lack of awareness, lack of information
Often the reason for indecision lies in the lack of necessary information. For example, an employee does not know how much demand there is in the labor market, so he is afraid to ask for a salary increase. But if he knows that his competitors value his work more highly and are ready to cooperate with him, he will most likely overcome his indecision and talk to his boss.
Depression and loss of interest in life
This is a painful condition that occurs as a result of prolonged stress. Depression causes a person to lose interest in life. He doesn't care what happens around him. There is no talk of any decisions or responsibility for their results.
Your own path in life
Self-confidence comes to those people who know why they live. If you don't understand why you were born, it's hard for you to become confident. Finding a calling is sometimes very difficult, but this does not mean that you do not have one. Doing something you don't like all your life will not make you feel good. A person who is dissatisfied with life will not be able to radiate confidence and optimism. But these are precisely the qualities that are fundamental for a person with good self-esteem. Try to understand that you must start respecting yourself. For what? You must find the answer to this question yourself.
Author: Ksenga
