How to organize life for a child with mental disorders in self-isolation - tips for parents. Kindergarten teachers, school teachers and educators

Why have the problems of children in modern society become so acute?

Ask your parents about relationship problems in their family - and with a high degree of probability you will hear that they had nothing of the kind. Is this true? Of course not. Our mothers and fathers often turned a blind eye to minor grievances and did not attach importance to disagreements with each other. Psychological problems of children, children - if any were discovered - were hushed up, it was not customary to talk about them in society. And psychologists 20-30 years ago were perceived as some kind of charlatans.

Only in recent years have people started talking publicly about the problems of parent-child relationships in a modern family. The reason was that the new generation of parents learned to analyze their actions and the behavior of their children. It was then that it turned out that difficulties exist, and in considerable quantities! As a psychologist, I will name those problems with the child that most often occur personally in my practice.

Child psychology

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Recommendations for parents on how to cope with child behavior problems

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Sometimes children behave terribly: they do not obey their parents, argue with them and respond rudely to any remark, offend their peers on the playground, and take things away. It is difficult for parents when their children behave this way. Let's look at the most common problems in child behavior, and try to figure out how to recognize them and how to deal with them.

What behavior is considered normal?

There is no clear definition of “normal” behavior. It depends on the age of the child, his character, emotional development and the environment in which he is raised.

In general, behavior that is acceptable for a given age, level of development in society and culture can be considered normal. Even if behavior does not meet the expectations of society or culture, it can be considered normal, provided that it is normal for the appropriate age and does not cause harm to others.

What does a deviation from the norm indicate?

If a child sometimes becomes hysterical, argues or screams, this is normal. But if this behavior manifests itself daily, parents have cause for concern. Look for the following signs that indicate behavior problems:

The child finds it difficult to cope with his emotions. He has emotional outbursts over the slightest provocation.
The child becomes impulsive. He may break or throw things, scream, or exhibit destructive behavior in other ways.
A sociable child suddenly withdraws into himself, argues and becomes rude for no apparent reason.
The child often lies, steals, or takes things that do not belong to him.
Bad behavior at school: fighting, tardiness and truancy.
Quarrels and conflicts with peers become more frequent, which affects his social life.
He cannot concentrate on anything and becomes restless, lazy or absent-minded.
The child's sexual behavior is not appropriate for his age.
He challenges all your instructions, breaks the established rules just to annoy you.
The child hurts himself or thinks about it. Expresses thoughts of suicide.

Minor manifestations of this behavior can be dealt with by changing your parenting style or using the help of a psychologist. But there are a number of behavioral problems that are not so easy to cope with. Let's take a closer look at them.

Common child behavior problems

Children often break rules and rebel against generally accepted norms in order to see how others react. This way they learn what behavior is acceptable and what is not. To do this, they use the following behavioral models.

Disrespect and insolence

When your three-year-old daughter gets insolent with you, it may seem funny. When your daughter is already 7 years old, she says “no” to all your requests and starts screaming - this begins to irritate. If the situation is not brought under control, this behavior can lead to constant arguments between parents and child. What to do in such cases.

Does your child argue but obey your instructions? Then ignore this behavior. Ignoring bad behavior can be a fairly effective tactic.
If your child fulfills your requests, but at the same time argues? There's nothing wrong with that. Explain to him that it is normal to feel angry, but it is unacceptable to talk to you in a disrespectful tone.
In cases where a child’s response threatens others or himself, you should be attentive to what he says and keep the situation under control.
Don't react impulsively. Let your child calm down and only then talk to him calmly. Explain what behavior is acceptable and what is not.
Set boundaries and explain that the child will be punished for bad behavior. Don't threaten, just state the fact that if he behaves badly, he won't go to the movies or get ice cream.
State your expectations for the desired behavior.
Think about how you behave with your child or with other people in his presence. Are you being rude or disrespectful? If the answer is positive, adjust your behavior.

Foul language

When feeling angry, children raise their voices and scream. If a child begins to swear before he turns 10, this is a serious cause for concern. Usually children scream or swear to start an argument with their parents or simply to insist on their own. In this case, follow these recommendations:

Make sure you don't use swear words in front of your children.
Avoid swearing at home.
Make it clear that he will be punished for such behavior, and always stick to this agreement.
If a young child uses foul language, immediately reprimand him. Explain that it is a bad word and people do not like those who use it.

Have you carelessly used such a word in the presence of a child? Then apologize immediately. You can even ask your child to remind you that it is a bad word every time you say it.

Aggressive or violent behavior

Feeling angry is normal for a child, and even for an adult. When anger turns into violent or aggressive behavior, this indicates emotional problems. Mood swings, behavior disorders, trauma, impulsivity or frustration can cause aggression in a child. Sometimes he can use aggression in self-defense.

The child learns aggressive behavior. Think about the emotional environment that surrounds him at home.

The easiest way to respond to a child's aggressive behavior is to yell back at him. But by doing this you will set a bad example for your child. Children learn to cope with their impulses and emotions from their parents. So, instead of raising your voice, calm down and calm your child down;
Empathize with the child, accept his feelings, but explain to him that fighting or biting is unacceptable. Say, “I understand that you are angry. But you can't fight or bite. In no case!"
Explain to your child that if he behaves aggressively, he will be punished. Offer him an alternative option. For example, teach him to use the phrases “I'm angry”, “I don't like this” instead of being cruel.

Set your child a good example of appropriate behavior and do not use physical punishment. Also encourage your child's positive, non-aggressive behavior.

Lie

Children often tell lies. Parents worry when they catch their child lying. You may feel betrayed, hurt, and even doubt whether you can trust your baby in the future. To prevent lying, follow these tips:

Don't take lying as a sign of personal disrespect. Look at the situation from the child's point of view and try to understand what made him tell the lie.
Children may tell lies out of fear that they will be punished for telling the truth. Praise your child for good behavior. This way he will not have to tell lies.
Teach your child to be honest with others by example.
Set a penalty for lying. This measure should not be discussed with the child.

Bullying

Bullying is a serious problem that can lead to emotional and physical abuse of the victim. Children use bullying to feel empowered. In addition, in this way children solve their social problems. When they cannot cope with their emotions, they resort to bullying. If you discover that your child is involved, act immediately.

Teach your child from an early age that bullying others is wrong. Explain why bullying is bad, who the bullies are, give your child examples. For example, you might say, “A bully is a person who calls other people names, bullies them, or takes their things by force.”
Set house rules as early as possible. Tell your child, “Bullying is not tolerated in our home,” or “You will not get away with bullying others.”
Monitor your children's behavior. If you notice elders bullying younger ones, stop such behavior immediately.

Manipulation

It is extremely difficult for parents to deal with manipulative behavior. Children often act impulsively, lying or crying to get what they want. If you turn a blind eye to your child's bad behavior, he understands that he is allowed to behave this way. For example, if a child throws a tantrum, demanding candy, and you buy him one, this is a clear example of manipulation.

In simple terms, a child uses manipulation to gain power. But you can always break this pattern of behavior and stop attempts at manipulation.

Be prepared for your child to resist every time you tell him “no.”
Let your child know that if you say “no,” it means “no.” Explain your position to your child, but do not make excuses.
Don't discuss established rules. At the same time, try to understand the child’s position.

Low motivation and laziness

Sometimes it may seem that the child is not interested in anything at all. Not studies, not art, not even games. He refuses to take part in absolutely everything. Motivating a child is not an easy task, especially if he is lazy and always finds an excuse for his laziness. If your child is having difficulty staying motivated, here are some tips to follow:

Don't show concern about this behavior. By doing this, you may appear too pushy and cause resistance.
Tell your child stories from your childhood to encourage him and motivate him to try something new.
Don't force your baby to do anything. Let him choose something he likes. Children are more willing to do what they have chosen themselves.
Look at the situation from the outside and think about whether you are putting pressure on the child. Ask him what really motivates him. Look at the child as an independent person and try to understand his interests.
Help your child find ways to self-motivate. This is a more effective way than external motivation.

Bad behavior at school

“I hate school” are words parents often hear from their children. Refusing to go to school or do homework brings a lot of trouble to parents. This behavior can have various reasons: bullying, problems with learning, rebellion against generally accepted rules, or anxiety due to separation from parents.

Find the source of the problems. Find out why your child refuses to go to school or do homework. If he has difficulties studying and mastering the material, help him catch up.
It may take time for your child to improve his or her performance in school. Change doesn't happen quickly.
Reward positive behavior, but don't try to bribe it. For example, you can tell your child, “You deserve ice cream because you did your homework without being reminded.”

Sometimes dealing with a child's bad behavior can be difficult. In particularly difficult cases, consult a psychologist.

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The most common problems of modern children and their parents

Parental authoritarianism

A huge number of children suffer from excessive pressure from their mother or father. It seems to us that by limiting the freedom of children, guiding them through life, we help our sons and daughters not to make the mistakes that we ourselves made.

Childish disobedience

Almost every married couple says that their child is disobedient or completely uncontrollable. First, a small child does not obey, then a teenager. This infuriates parents, as their usual way of life collapses.

Controversial Parenting

If one parent spoils the child and indulges all his whims, and the other keeps him “with a tight rein.” As a result, the child develops a misconception about the family. He begins to think that mom is good and dad is bad or vice versa.

Cruelty of a family member

This is the most serious problem of interpersonal relationships in the family. If one of the parents is prone to outbursts of anger and applies a wide range of punishments, then the child grows up depressed and intimidated.

Hypersocializing parenting

Characterized by parents' fixation on the successes and failures of their children. In such families, people grow up with “excellent student syndrome” - the desire to do everything perfectly. If the result was not achieved, the person becomes upset, begins to blame himself, and falls into harsh, unfounded self-criticism.

Education according to the type of increased moral responsibility

Parents place excessive demands on their child that do not correspond to his current age.

Problems of family relationships in a single-parent family

As the name suggests, they are found in families where the father and mother are divorced, or the parents separated before the birth of the heir. The child may blame himself for this separation, and at a more conscious age take on the role of an absent parent.

How construction toys help in the socialization of children with mental disabilities

Children with disabilities have a difficult time learning to communicate and interact with peers and adults. The easiest way to master different behavior patterns in everyday life is a children's game. There are many types of games that not only bring pleasure to the child, but also become part of his rehabilitation. Specialists from the Yuno Center for Education and Science told how a simple game of construction toys can help a child with mental disorders.

Counting sticks, cubes and mosaics

Children's construction sets are not only about playing with the famous Lego. The meaning of design is to assemble a whole from parts. Suitable items for this game include counting sticks, building material, mosaics, cut-out pictures, collapsible toys, puzzles, plastic and metal mechanical construction sets, cubes with sides painted in different colors (“Unicube”), variously cut squares, circles and much more. .

Part of the game with constructors can be sets of small toys, figures of people and animals, and cars. With the help of these objects, children learn to play, communicate and interact with different objects, not just construction sets.

At the center for promoting family education "Juno", about 70 boys and girls, starting from the age of two, play with construction toys. Thanks to construction, children with disabilities begin to speak faster and develop spatial and creative thinking.

“Children with mental disorders have a number of developmental characteristics. They do not correlate real objects with their image on the diagram. They may use construction parts for purposes other than their intended purpose: they sort them out, scatter them, or chew them. Or they unconsciously try to imitate an adult: they pile construction elements on top of each other. Therefore, in order to learn how to design, they need special classes,” notes Marina Kozlova , teacher at the Juno Center.

The main task of the specialist is to interest the child in construction kits and help him maximize all his potential. To do this, the teacher offers the child different options for games and tasks. During the game, the baby learns to work in a team, begins to express his emotional state and attitude to the world.

Development of memory and attentiveness

Playing with construction sets helps a child with mental disabilities perceive an object consisting of parts as a whole. He recognizes and remembers its properties and shape, learns to use instructions or drawings. At first, the child should play under the supervision of an adult who helps him figure it out.

“Children learn to plan their actions and compare their results with a design model. They train voluntary attention and visual memory. The finished designs can then be used for other games, speech exercises, as drawing samples, and so on. Ready-made crafts are used as aids in individual lessons, in didactic games, and in classes on the formation of elementary mathematical concepts,” says the specialist.

Feel like a designer

During classes, children put together both real-life and invented objects. They learn to find identical cubes, assemble them using the same color or the same shape, and create new shapes from existing elements, parts, and objects.

“Having taught a child any game, it is important to give him time to independently practice with the construction set. This will allow you to find new opportunities to play. Construction gives a powerful impetus to the intellectual development of children with mental disabilities. The teacher repeats the names of the game and its details, learns with the child the sequence of laying out and building familiar figures according to the model. New tasks are also completed according to the model. The teacher helps the child realize his own plan and give his building a name. Much attention is paid to creating a gaming situation and communication between children during play,” says Marina Kozlova.

When children play with construction sets in a group, they see the use of their crafts and learn to design the work in colors and shapes to suit their taste. This is how the makings of a design vision appear. While playing, children develop not only fine motor skills, but also learn to count and speak. The main thing in this process is regular exercise.

“Children with mental disabilities learn to be friendly towards each other, to accept and provide help, and to give in. Knowing the names of constructors and their parts, naming figures and buildings, and observing safety rules develops students’ opportunities for educational activities. Playing with various construction sets helps to reproduce elements of society, which creates additional conditions for practicing different social behavior patterns. And all together this contributes to the socialization of our students,” notes the teacher.

Press service of the Department of Labor and Social Protection of the Population of Moscow

Monotonous games

Closer to the age of three, the child plays strange, monotonous games: lining up cubes in rows, spinning in circles, shaking his arms. May show increased interest in letters and numbers with a clear lag in all other areas: speech, intellectual, self-service, etc.

There are practically no elements of an adequate, ordinary game: feeding a doll porridge, putting a bear to sleep, building a “house” out of cubes (and playing out these situations. Because the obsessive desire to build a house over and over again, bring it down and build it again, in the same sequence - day after day - this is also not a very good sign).

Until the age of three, normally, all children almost do not play together without the organizing help of an adult, they simply allow the presence of other children nearby, but if the child does not begin to show interest in playing together after three years, and in addition there are such repetitive and unusual games, - this should alert you.

Causes of problems in a child

Often psychological problems in a child (children) arise in the absence of a warm, close and trusting relationship with him. Children also become “difficult” if their parents demand too much from them: success in school, drawing, dancing, music. Or if parents react too violently to the child’s pranks, they punish him severely. It should be noted that all families face difficulties in raising children.

Mistakes that parents make in upbringing can later have a strong impact on a person’s life. And it is not always possible to completely eliminate them.