The more confident a person is in his views, actions, and strengths, the more respect the people around him look at him and listen to him. I will talk about self-esteem - what it is, why it is valuable, how to increase self-esteem. For women, confidence and a sense of value are more important than for men, since they perceive criticism more painfully, are generally more critical of themselves, and also tend to be upset not only because of failures, but also because of less-than-ideal appearance and a carelessly thrown word.
The second term, in addition to the acronym CSD, is “self-concept”, that is, how everyone sees themselves, what they consist of, what roles they play, and how successful they feel in them. Social masks (and labels), for example, mother, wife, daughter, colleague, are implemented to varying degrees. But if they harmoniously complement each other, then the result is a person with developed self-esteem and self-confidence.
What does self-esteem mean?
If we compare CSD and self-esteem, then the second term is narrower, since it only covers a person’s opinion about himself. While the first state involves a combination of self-esteem and healthy ambitions, as well as the assessment of an external, third-party observer.
Let's analyze the signs:
- High demands on yourself. The owner of self-esteem will never ask more from others than from himself. This applies to behavior, actions, and appearance.
- Neatness. He will never allow himself to be sloppy (in clothes, in cleaning the apartment), he knows that cleaning up dirt is not shameful, it is much worse to live in it.
- Good manners towards acquaintances and strangers. It is not pretentious or ostentatious, but comes as a matter of course.
- Awareness of one's own boundaries. He does not perceive intrusion into the boundaries of the “I”, unsolicited advice, criticism, because he clearly evaluates his person.
- There is no pride, that is, he does not show himself off, comparing himself with less successful ones, and does not self-actualize at the expense of others. He can be proud, but only of real achievements. At the same time, he is not inclined to exceed his merits or extol them - only an objective assessment of achievements.
- There is no selfishness - a person does not violate other people’s rights, boundaries, interests, does not put them to the detriment of his own, because he values other people.
- Self-respect, he values his time and energy, understands why he himself and others can respect him.
- Comparison is not with weaker or stronger ones, but with oneself “yesterday”, “today” and “tomorrow”. Such a person does not focus on well-known biographies, their successes and failures, as well as on loved ones and examples in the family. He does not strive to become better than mom or dad, but only to develop and grow every day in relation to his previous achievements.
- Reaches a successful end in any endeavor he embarks on. A person does not scatter himself over several tasks, being sure that this is beyond his strength, but immediately takes on tasks that he is guaranteed to successfully complete.
- Inner peace - there is no place for involuntary depression and spontaneous hysterics.
- Reliability. Every given word and promise will be fulfilled. These are the people that friends and family call when they are in trouble because they are confident in him.
- A confident position in front of those who are stronger (older, higher in status, richer), and decent behavior with those who are weaker.
- Composure. In any difficult, exciting and unforeseen situation, even if doubts and worries creep into the soul, a person with CSD can take control of himself and the situation.
- The leader, not the follower. He will not follow the lead of the crowd, will be guided by a single opinion and will not report to it.
- Responsibility for actions, words, thoughts. There is no need to shift blame or responsibility to another.
People nearby automatically treat you with respect and do not dare to be rude, insult, or belittle your personality. They are imbued with trust, partly it comes from within - from self-esteem.
Psychologist Daria Milai
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What is ChSD
Self-esteem is the awareness of one’s importance not only by the person himself, but also by the people around him.
The ability to set a clear goal and go towards it, to be independent of other people and their opinions, and to remain outwardly calm in any situation.
To be a person with CSD means to be someone who will not assert himself at anyone’s expense. He has his own personal moral principles, qualities, values and virtues.
A person with CSD is reliable, you can always rely on him, he will not deceive or betray. He does not strive to be “the best”, but he knows his importance.
What qualities does a person with self-esteem have?
- Responsibility;
- Determination;
- Reliability;
- Decency;
- Respect for yourself and others;
- Independence;
- Dignity;
- Believe in yourself and your strengths;
- Confidence;
- Honesty.
Why self-worth is important
This character trait helps both in personal life and in career and social activities. It can be developed in childhood or adulthood. The main ways for parents to become CSD are encouragement, teaching independence, the habit of evaluating the child’s actions and voicing what they lead to - both good and bad, as well as teaching them to take responsibility for their own actions. An adult can develop independently in the same way, let’s list why:
- To become a leader who is respected. They follow the leader, listen to the point of view, listen to advice.
- Avoid becoming a victim - the behavior of someone who is constantly offended and humiliated leads to failures in his personal life and at work. The initial attitude of defeat leads to real failures - others begin to ignore or humiliate, “harass” the psychologically sacrificial type of people. Women of this type often marry a husband prone to domestic violence or a despotic, totalitarian man.
- See successes first, not failures. Bad times happen to everyone, but you shouldn’t dwell on failures. Such a pessimistic view leads to real mistakes and problems - there are more of them, the burden puts pressure on a person who can break. A developed sense of self-worth leads to an optimistic approach to life.
People around you often treat people who don’t respect themselves poorly. They see uncertainty, subconsciously believing that it is justified.
Let's give an example: a woman with a low NRR, when applying for a job, says that she has little experience, shyly lists her places of activity, talks about the reasons for her dismissal, and shows her experiences. The result is that the head of the HR department believes that the candidate is incompetent and is not interested in the position.
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The second one has good self-esteem and self-confidence. She shows right from the start that she is confident in the successful performance of her duties, even if she has no experience, notes her positive qualities and does not allow her to doubt her capabilities. Even if the first applicant was more educated and competent, had more experience, with a 99% probability they will choose the second.
We conclude: CSD is what makes the people around you treat you with respect from the very beginning, and makes you yourself have goals, not be afraid to achieve them, and not be upset over mistakes, but only draw conclusions.
Personal qualities of a self-respecting person
If a man or woman adequately assesses opportunities and treats themselves with respect, then they will have the following qualities:
- Pay attention to your health.
- Don't waste time judging and discussing other people.
- Constantly developing and improving.
- They do not criticize and compare their achievements with the successes of others.
A person with adequate self-esteem knows how to understand people and prefers to work on himself.
More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.
When it helps
I have already noted that this is not some narrow competence that is needed only at a specific moment. This is a life position that is always involved. Self-worth does not turn on and off, it simply is. This is an innate feature that is accessible to some and not to others; on the contrary, everyone can get good self-esteem. If you are having difficulty with this, have lost faith in yourself, or have felt like a victim rather than a leader since early childhood, I recommend signing up for my consultation.
I will list life situations and areas of life where it is necessary to have self-esteem:
- Romantic relationships and marriage. A woman's self-worth helps attract men who are confident in themselves. Usually, next to a strong and purposeful lady, you will rarely find a man who is able to raise his hand or who likes to drink - such guys themselves have very low self-esteem, which means they are simply afraid to approach a lady who, based on her ability to hold herself, is head and shoulders above them. Therefore, next to you will be a life partner who is not afraid of new achievements, is ready to improve himself and supports you in your endeavors. Men who are next to a girl with a low FSD often consciously or subconsciously try to limit the scope of women's accomplishments and achievements. It often looks like this: the husband builds a career, develops, goes to the gym and makes business acquaintances, while the wife stays at home with the children and confines herself to everyday life. If you do not want to become a victim in a relationship, but want to be partners, equal individuals who are not “subordinate,” you should spend more time developing yourself and your sense of self-worth.
- Family, raising children. The younger generation looks to their parents, wanting to find role models. Confidence is a trait that completely helps to gain the respect of the weaker, and a child up to a certain age is a priori weaker than an adult. If your son/daughter does not find such an example or authority in you, he will look among those around him. It’s good if this is a teacher or father of the family, but it could be a “bad guy” from the senior class who does not suffer from low self-esteem. Only a strong and self-confident person can really raise children correctly, instill in them good manners and habits , share with them an interest in sports, studies, and art.
- Career. We have already given an example with two applicants. It follows from it that understanding the value of one’s personality, one’s own successes, and achievements is an important quality when applying for a job, as well as when negotiating, communicating with superiors, and building business connections. An employee who lacks self-confidence is first on the list for dismissal, as well as overtime, unpaid sick leave and no promotion. CHSD will help you climb the career ladder, get a position that matches your competence, as well as develop and improve yourself in order to achieve more every year.
- Friendship and camaraderie. Any communication (interpersonal, business) can occur according to two patterns: “equal to equal” or “subordinate to superior.” These schemes work in any situation. Scandalous behavior is one of the signs of low self-esteem.
This is an incomplete list of situations from areas of life when self-esteem will help. It is always important, every minute. You should wake up in the morning with the thought that you are a significant and irreplaceable part of the family and company.
Components
Let's take a closer look at what is included in this phrase “self-esteem.”
Value
Such a woman does not need constant confirmation from others that she is attractive, smart, interesting, developed, etc. She loves herself and accepts herself as she is. And if some character trait is no longer satisfactory, or the usual type of behavior does not give the expected results, he begins to work on himself. Because he knows that all external changes in life begin initially with internal changes. When your outlook on life is revised, something is realized. So, even if she is insulted, she definitely will not worry and believe in what is said, since she knows and values her personality.
Independence
She knows how to solve her problems. But at the same time, she knows how to ask for help if she understands that she is unable to cope with something. She does not enter into relationships just to feel protected and safe. Yes, it is also important for her to receive this from a man, but if something happens, she is able to cope with various adversities on her own. Because he definitely doesn’t like feeling helpless. Just as she doesn’t expect a handsome prince who will solve all the difficulties for her.
Self-sufficiency
Knows how to be alone. Without running headlong somewhere. And he really knows how to enjoy being alone with himself. If necessary, gets along well with others. And he tries to organize his life so that there is an emphasis on quality rather than quantity.
If there is no person nearby with whom you are warm and close, you will be alone until you meet someone with whom you can and want to build a relationship. And not only love or family ones. If you find yourself next to such a woman, then be sure that you are important to her. She probably won’t waste time on those with whom she’s not interested and tense.
You can read more about self-sufficiency here.
Strength of mind
A dependent and insecure girl, if she is treated poorly, strives to win favor with good behavior. She is trying to do something so that the offender realizes his mistakes and understands how good and beautiful she really is, and stops behaving like that towards her. The one who has self-esteem does not fall for such manipulations. On the contrary, she distances herself and tries to minimize contact with such a person, because she knows that it is pointless to please and adapt.
Interest
A mature woman with self-esteem has a hobby and an interest in life. She wants to learn new things, strive to develop and grow spiritually. That is why there is something to talk about with her and it is never boring. She does not sacrifice personal time, because she knows that if she does not rest, family relationships will deteriorate, and this will also have a negative impact on her health. She does not allow personal boundaries to be violated, neither her own nor those of others. For example, some couples, as a sign of love for each other, create a common email, social network page or passwords. This causes a fusion, which then makes it unbearable to be around, because it is difficult to distinguish where whose desires, ideas and thoughts are.
Risks of inadequate heart rate
Without developing this quality, a person can get:
- lack of confidence in one's actions;
- shame for your words;
- susceptibility to manipulation by others;
- depressive moods;
- low social status;
- low ambitions, and at the same time – a complete lack of aspirations and achievements.
This psychological pathology (and this is undoubtedly a big mistake when raising a child) leads to dissonance in every area of life, and at the same time to a constant bad mood and negative thinking.
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Personal dignity of a man
This characteristic of a representative of the stronger sex is inherent in those who know their place in life; most likely, they have already found their path, including a career, or are actively searching. This is a person who sensibly evaluates his pros and cons, and does not seek constant approval. I will list the characteristic features:
- Doesn’t do things for the sake of other people’s opinions or their consent.
- Does not insult others, elevating himself in comparison.
- He defends his position.
- Sets goals and achieves them.
- Has an individual personality.
- He is not afraid of mistakes, but finds experience in them, and no longer repeats mistakes.
- Always maintains composure and does not show negative emotions.
Best Pictures about dignity (40 photos)
Patience and the ability to forgive are good qualities. But everything has a limit, you don’t need to fall below your dignity. Dignity is knowing the measure of patience and having your own value and significance as a person. See further pictures on the topic of dignity.
Honor is your dignity, as you understand it.
Honor is the inner clothing of the soul.
The world expects you to achieve something before it considers your self-worth.
Self-respect.
I know how to endure, I know how to forgive, but there is a limit to everything and it’s better to know it!
Our reality.
People who have no flaws have very few virtues.
Being a good father is probably the highest virtue of a man.
Don't lose your self-esteem.
Every man has some virtues, you just need to point them out to him.
Don't waste time trying to hurt someone who hurt you.
Being faithful is a virtue.
It's better to be happy than proud.
Thank you to everyone who left my life voluntarily, you were not bad, but you made room for the best.
Having lost your honor, do not bend over so as not to lose your dignity.
A person's dignity is determined by the path he takes towards his goal.
Never be arrogant with the humble and never humble yourself with the arrogant.
The greater the true dignity, the less noise it makes.
The inevitable must be accepted with dignity.
Aristocratism is a deep sense of self-esteem.
Never give up!
Only a good person can call himself worthy.
Carry your cross with dignity, do not humiliate yourself in front of everyone.
You like even the shortcomings in a loved one, and even the advantages in an unloved person irritate you.
A worthy person is not one who has no shortcomings, but one who has virtues.
Losing your dignity, pretend that it is not yours.
Honor is more valuable than life!
Honor and self-esteem are the strongest.
Woe to him who increases the power of others, for it is obtained by skill or strength.
A girl with dignity.
Better a dignified and heroic death than an undignified and vile triumph.
Always remember honor and dignity.
The dignity of a man is not to be a parasite, a parasite. Despise laziness of thought!
The stronger the self-esteem, the more modest the person.
Human dignity is recognized in nature.
Self-esteem equals success divided by aspiration.
A good name creates dignity.
Don't let the noise of other people's opinions drown out your inner voice.
For most people, happiness, self-esteem, satisfaction from a job well done and success.
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Personal dignity of a woman
This feeling can be compared to inner harmony - the girl begins to listen to her own desires, sees her strengths and weaknesses, develops the former and eliminates the latter. Character traits:
- He takes care of his own body - not to meet “standards”, but to maintain health and contentment with his reflection.
- Allows you to take care of yourself - gratefully accepts compliments and gifts, does not strive to do everything yourself, gives a man the right to perform “male” duties.
- She does not ask for love, but only gives reasons to be loved. Never “runs” after a young man.
- She skillfully shares home problems and joys with work moments, never prefers one to the complete detriment of the other, finds compromises, remains a good employee and a loving mother and wife.
What is self-esteem
Self-esteem is a person’s attitude towards himself, taking into account his merits and successes or shortcomings and guilt.
A person is not born with this feeling, but develops it in the process of life. The development of self-esteem occurs during education, under the influence of the upbringing of parents who teach children the appropriate model of behavior.
How to develop self-esteem
This trait is laid down and formed in childhood. From an early age, parents teach to be responsible for their actions, independent and purposeful, and also praise for achievements and are proud of their child.
It happens that reproaches, words of disappointment, a symptom of learned helplessness lead to low self-esteem in adulthood. Then you need to relearn self-respect. In childhood, CSD develops:
- praise for good deeds, acquired skills, but not commendable rewards for every step;
- encouragement of aspirations and assistance in achieving goals;
- teaching responsibility for wrongdoing.
How to recover
Sometimes there are moments when you completely lose faith in yourself - after a streak of failures in your personal life or work. To regain your former self-confidence, I recommend:
- Improve physical fitness and gain new knowledge, improve yourself. Sign up for yoga and cooking classes, find a good book, go get additional education.
- Achieve goals. Have you always wanted to become a clothing designer? Take courses, master the rules of sewing and finally get your sewing machine out of the attic!
- Know the norms of behavior in society and rights, laws.
