Psychology of relations between husband and wife: the key to success

Social characteristics in the family

From time immemorial, men and women have played their roles in family and life. The foundation was formed due to natural features, so they have different responsibilities. And they complement each other. There are no full-fledged relationships without people who would agree to fulfill their functions.

Only a man and a woman can build a family, unless of course it is a homosexual couple, but even in this case: one partner is more passive and takes the position of a woman.

The distribution of responsibilities is the most important point in building a family. This does not mean that there are strict restrictions on how much someone can earn or who will do household chores. Each cell of society sets its own rules, taking into account the inclinations, desires and knowledge of both partners.

A woman can build a successful career and take care of her family, and manage to do everything at the same time. The girl should take care of the home, and the guy should give her everything she needs. Of course, it is not uncommon for a girl to take the place of the stronger half. This is due to the fact that many representatives of the stronger sex are raised only by a woman or a single mother. Therefore, women begin to become strong and men become weak.

What supports a traditional family?

dimitrisvetsikas1969 / Pixabay
Why is the state so actively trying to support the traditional family? And not only in Russia? After all, it’s enough to remember that in the USA they consider old Europe a nest of debauchery, and European women are too free, even promiscuous? There are probably three main factors here.

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The first is the desire of some groups and individuals to maintain patriarchy, since such changes cause anxiety for them. That is, it is something personal. This is a loss of control, which is important because otherwise too much in their life will change and it will not be as comfortable as it is right now.

The second is the completely meaningful maintenance of a traditional family with children as a well-calculated consumption unit. It is quite obvious that the family spends more, the cult of children that has been created over the last half a hundred years is simply a godsend for corporations, a traditional family needs a house, an apartment, a car, leisure, a vacation, they can vouch for each other in the bank, their spending is known from birth to death. Allowing such a “sacred cow” to dissolve means losing huge profits. This will happen, but for now the efforts to maintain the existing model are more profitable than the costs of this.

And, of course, the third is the desire of the people themselves, who can choose how to build their lives. Some people choose a traditional family and defend their choice, while others prefer to build relationships differently, for example, to live their lives alone. And this choice must be respected.

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Andrey Petrakov

Hello! This is a blog on psychology, in which significant attention is paid to the topics of psychological violence - abuse, narcissism, relationships, personal crises, taking responsibility for one's life, increasing self-esteem, existential problems. The cost of consulting a psychologist is 3000 rubles/hour, in person (Moscow, Maryina Roshcha metro station), or via Skype About us/Make an appointment

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Functions of men and women in the family2

• Continuation of the family. Both spouses take part in this process. The girl is given the main role, since she performs the main part of giving birth to the child. Recently, psychologists and sociologists have noted that children are often born without the concept of family; every fifth child is born out of wedlock.
• Economic function. This option is carried out by both parents, it includes real estate, clothing, and livelihood.

• Educational function. Most often performed by a woman: maintaining culture, socializing children, forming a life position, direct communication, encouragement and punishment.
• Household function. Almost always the duties are performed by a woman. This includes providing clothing, taking care of health, caring for children and spending time together.
• Leisure function. Communication between all family members leads to harmony. This includes entertainment, holidays, going to the cinema. This function is not given enough attention, especially from the male side.
• Sexual function. Of course, this is a mutual intimate relationship between spouses. But due to the fact that family responsibilities are distributed unevenly, this function often suffers greatly.

Theater of Family Life

The concept of “social role” comes from social psychology. Its essence lies in the fact that we constantly play one or another role depending on the conditions: either we are pedestrians or passengers, then buyers or clients of some institution, and so on. We constantly wear masks that correspond to our chosen roles.

Family is no exception. This is a real theater where various performances from comedies to the most difficult tragedies are performed. Husband and wife are the main actors of the family theater. In communication, everything is important: glances, every phrase, the intonation with which words are pronounced, what gestures all this is accompanied by.

In social psychology there are concepts of proscenium and backstage, as in the theater. On the front stage, we act out good family relationships in front of strangers, especially when we want to make a favorable impression. Showdowns often take place behind the scenes of the family theater. A very important point follows from this - the expectation of one of the spouses for one or another role to be played by the other. We begin to learn these roles from childhood in our parental families. Then we transfer them to new families as an inheritance. The husband expects his wife to be like his mother, and the wife reproaches her husband for not being as skilled as her father. We learn to be wives and husbands from our parents, we learn their patterns of behavior. Therefore, the relationship of spouses is often similar to the relationship of their parents.

The burden of marital roles is heavy. Expectations often don't match reality. Disappointments hurt. This is often the cause of many conflicts in the family. The wife's (husband's) desire to be herself should be respected. However, based on the experience of your parents’ relationship, you should draw your own personal conclusion and go through life on a new path, without repeating their mistakes. Build relationships that are qualitatively different, move to a higher level.

Man and woman in politics 3

What are the social characteristics of women and men in government? Girls have the same rights as men and can hold the same positions. They can have their own political point of view, become presidents and so on. Women are increasingly appearing in politics, especially in the healthcare and social security sectors. The greater the percentage of women in government, the better the problems of protecting motherhood, childhood, child rights and social protection are solved.

The largest number of women in politics is in Sweden 47%, Finland 41% in the lower house, the smallest number of women in Japan 9 and 4% in both houses. Russia ranks 84th in terms of the number of women in parliament, on a par with Guinea-Bissau.

There is discrimination against women in the political sphere; they are not allowed to occupy leading positions. A woman knows how to listen, consider actions in a broad context, connect with each other, and show wisdom. All this, of course, would help establish many social guidelines. The best solution would be to divide areas of activity into female and male according to social roles.

Gender stereotypes in modern society

Over the long period of people’s existence, normative patterns of behavior and characteristics of a masculine and feminine character have developed and become firmly entrenched in the public consciousness. These are the so-called gender stereotypes, which manifest themselves in all spheres of human life: in interpersonal and intergroup interaction, as well as in the self-awareness of the individual. Being quite stable, they determine:

1. Intergender status and dominant roles (man is the breadwinner, woman is the keeper of the hearth; he is smart, she is beautiful).
2. Gender traits of personality and behavior (masculine - activity, confidence, dominance, egocentrism, rationality, aggressiveness, etc.; feminine - passivity, dependence, anxiety, emotionality, caring, etc.).
3. Ideas about family and professional roles (woman – housewife, mother, performer of labor; man – worker, social activist, organizer, leader).

People living in a certain society compare themselves with its inherent stereotypes. Someone is trying to match these patterns as closely as possible, which is based on the mechanism of obligation. Others prefer to contrast their behavior with accepted norms.

The positive aspects of using stereotypes include the fact that they make it easier to classify people and standardize their behavior patterns. But, in fact, unconscious adherence to gender stereotyping leads to negative results:

• limits the self-realization and self-expression of the individual (especially the female gender);
• acts as a barrier to the development of individuality;
• ignores personal interests;
• creates dependence and obedience;
• worsens quality of life.

We can conclude that independence from such prejudices of society gives the individual the opportunity to gain freedom, spiritual health and the ability to live a full life.

Man and woman in business4

They conduct business completely differently. Women are more focused on visual memory, they are able to create compositions, perceive facial expressions better and can perform several tasks at the same time. They negotiate well, but often jump from one topic to another.

Men imagine objects in space better, process half as much information, and therefore speak more specifically. And due to the increase in testosterone, they become aggressive, their spirit of competition turns on.

Business behavior is different between men and women, so knowing your strengths and weaknesses should help you use them in business. For example, men should be calmer, think first, and then act. And women should learn to manage their emotions so that at some inopportune moment they don’t fall apart in front of their partner.

In Russia, there are fewer women than men in management positions at enterprises. Ladies' businesses of this nature: related to clothing, flower shops, cosmetics. This situation arises due to different upbringings, in which the values ​​of hard work and obedience are imposed on girls. Therefore, women are more modest and more passive, they avoid conflict.

If a woman comes to negotiations, she will sit on the edge, unnoticeably. And the man is in the center and will take up almost the entire table. If a woman wants to have the same position as a man in business, she needs to learn to behave confidently and decisively and be on an equal footing with men, because business is a more masculine field.

The social characteristics of women and men have come to the point where the boundaries between the sexes are being erased. In every area: family, politics, business, their mutual equal participation would ensure tremendous success.

Practical advice for wives on how to treat their husbands and children

1. Respect your husband’s territory, then he will respect your territory. You don’t need to clean up your husband’s table without his permission, and don’t throw away your husband’s things without his knowledge (for example, an old T-shirt or sneakers). His territory is also his personal phone, computer, his pages and folders on the computer, his diary, diaries, personal letters, and so on.

2. The next tip is about personal space. The husband’s personal space is also his work and his illness. Without his consent, you cannot share with anyone about his work, especially about your husband’s problems at work (if he has any). Also, without the consent of the husband, you cannot share with anyone about his illnesses or sores, if any. Even with a request to pray for them. This will be extremely disrespectful to your husband.

3. Simple but important advice to wives - do not comment on your husband’s habits with other people, even with relatives or with your children.

4. Listen to your husband without interrupting. This is also a sign of respect shown to the husband by the wife. I read somewhere: “Love is not like when they bring you a bouquet of roses and you smell them. Love is when they tell you all day about 95 gasoline and you listen to it.”

5. Don’t make comments to your husband! None! Get the point across in other ways and maneuvers or with clarifying questions.

6. It’s better to “collect” your husband’s strengths rather than his shortcomings. It has been noticed: if a wife constantly scolds her husband for his shortcomings, then his shortcomings intensify. If the wife praises and notices his good sides, then the husband becomes even better. I advise you to keep a notebook and write down the best qualities of your husband so as not to forget about them. It really helps to be grateful during difficult times!

Gender roles - what are they?

Let's consider the concept of gender role in order to clearly understand the meaning of this phenomenon. Gender roles represent the traditional behavioral responses expected in society from males and females. They can be expected, attributed, imposed, demanded by society, but any person has the right to decide for himself whether he needs stereotypical behavior.

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