My wife will drive me to divorce with her hysterics and nagging.

What is hysteria?

Hysteria itself is a form of neurosis that has mental manifestations .

Its main feature is that it is typical, first of all, for women.

Scientists associate the latter with the fact that representatives of the fairer sex experience a noticeable increase in the level of estrogen in the blood.

Hysterical psychopathy is a mental illness that is expressed in bright emotional outbursts, sudden changes in behavior, most often accompanied by a violent flow of tears.

How does a hysterical woman behave?

Female hysteria manifests itself in different ways, it is quite individual. But there are two main types:

Hysterical attack. It is acute and can arise as a result of some unpleasant situation for a woman or some harsh words. In this case, the woman begins to express emotions very violently. She screams and cries, sobs, stomps her feet, waves her arms and generally gesticulates sharply. At the same time, her consciousness at this moment is clouded, so women can often very vaguely remember what they were doing at that moment and what words they were saying. Such seizures can recur quite often.
Hysterical behavior. There is a lot of affectation and theatricality in the movements and words of such a woman. She makes up some stories about her life, is very emotional and unpredictable. These are no longer seizures that happen periodically, but a way of life.

Should you take a break from your relationship? Find out the answer right now.

Types of hysterics

There are two forms of manifestation of female hysteria: a hysterical attack and hysterical behavior.

Hysterical attack

The cause of such psychosis can be unpleasant words from a loved one or an unpleasant situation that has arisen at home or at work. Such hysteria is accompanied by tears, screams, stomping feet, sharp gestures, tearing of hair on the head, etc. During this period, the woman’s consciousness turns off and a few minutes after the seizure she may not even remember what happened to her.

There are two ways to stop this psychosis: with cold water or sharp pain. Hysterical attacks can occur regularly, so the woman should be shown to a psychotherapist.

Hysterical behavior

This hysteria in women manifests itself in a different way. A representative of the fairer sex strives to become an object of admiration, envy and surprise. To achieve this, a woman dresses brightly, has her hair cut and made up, and constantly comes up with some unusual stories to attract the attention of the public. You can notice such a hysterical person by behavior in which there is excessive affectation and theatricality. Both young and old women suffer from such psychosis. Often their appearance and behavior do not correspond to their age and social status.

Causes of female hysterics

Hysterics do not actually appear out of thin air and do not arise out of nowhere, as men often think. The most common reasons include the following:

Poor nutrition. Most women are desperate to lose weight, even if they are already thin.
Constant malnutrition and following strange (and most often harmful) diets lead to the fact that the diet lacks essential elements and vitamins. And constant restrictions put moral pressure on a woman.
Overwork . Nowadays, women often have many responsibilities: career, housework, cooking, caring for children and husbands - and this is not a complete list. It is not surprising that sooner or later an extreme point comes, which is expressed in hysteria or a nervous breakdown. For her, this is just a way to get rid of accumulated fatigue.
Problems in intimate life. Irregularity or complete absence of sex, as well as dissatisfaction, immediately affect a woman’s emotional state. Negative emotions accumulate and then find release in the form of hysteria.
Lack of time for yourself . Often a woman is so immersed in various matters and trying to take care of everyone that she completely forgets about herself. By not paying attention to herself and her needs, she paints herself into a corner. First, mood swings begin, outbreaks of causeless aggression, and then hysteria is not far away.

These are just the main, most common causes of hysteria; in fact, there are many more of them .

We should not forget that they can also be individual in nature.

The impact of tantrums on the family

Many men don’t know what to do if their wife is hysterical. Not every representative of the stronger sex is ready to tolerate such emotional outbursts in their family. Most men want a family in which there will be peace, mutual understanding and harmony. Living with a mentally unstable partner is simply unbearable for many. If a girl behaved adequately before marriage, and after marriage began to regularly show hysterics, sooner or later the same outcome awaits her:

The man will immediately leave her.
At first, the husband will try to understand the reason for the hysterics and try to calm his wife down. But even the most patient husband will not be able to withstand such regular shaking, so divorce is inevitable.

Only some husbands can tolerate an unhealthy situation in the family and accept a woman for who she is.

A man who really wants to save his marriage should stock up on endurance and patience, since this problem cannot be eliminated quickly.

What should my husband do?

Many men think that women's hysterics arise out of nowhere .

Therefore, when faced with it, they are simply lost and do not know what to do.

And, most often, they simply ignore the situation , hoping that everything will go away on its own.

This is the most wrong tactic of behavior. The woman, of course, will most likely calm down, but her hysteria will last much longer. And then she will remember for a long time how you ignored her and left her unattended.

So how to behave if your wife is hysterical?

You should not demand an explanation from a woman why she is crying or swearing. It is unlikely that you will hear reasonable arguments. Simply because the woman does not control herself at the moment.
Help her release her pent-up emotions. Let him cry in your arms or talk it out.
Show empathy and understanding . Don't reproach, don't scold, and especially don't yell at her.
Pay attention to what she says now. Her words contain the key to the solution.
Most often, in an impulse, women themselves name the reason for their hysterics and even say what they need now to calm down.
All you have to do is listen and, depending on her words, react correctly.

How to apologize correctly in different situations

You can make peace only if you clearly understand your offense and how exactly you offended your spouse. These could be unpleasant and offensive words, alcohol abuse, betrayal or betrayal, physical or mental violence. This is exactly what you need to start from when building a strategy on how to apologize to your wife if you messed up badly.

If you offended me with words

Married couples should communicate correctly not only in a state of harmony, but also in conflict. In the second case, it is much more difficult, since she is driven by negative emotions, and they are driven by rage and anger. Against this background, bad, offensive words are often thrown out, imprinted in the memory for a long time with deep resentment.

Here are some tips from psychologists:

determine whether your apology is necessary at this time;
analyze the misconduct, try to empathize with her;
put yourself in her place, what would you like to hear at the moment of reconciliation;
show that you feel guilty;
when apologizing, look her straight in the eye;
take your words seriously, but don’t overdo it;
do not make offers to bribe trust.

Remember that the sooner you try to make amends, the better. Otherwise, the girl will screw herself up, and offensive insults will settle deeply in her memory.

For drinking

Not every woman is ready to put up with her husband’s bad habits, especially if we are talking about the abuse of alcoholic beverages often and without reason. Tips on how to apologize to your wife after drinking will help improve your relationship. But first, do everything to appear before her in a sober, adequate state. Then follow these simple recommendations:

correctly apologize;
make a promise to quit alcohol forever;
if it is difficult to solve the problem yourself, ask for moral support;
promise to visit a qualified specialist together for help;
thank her for her patience;
adjust your future behavior in the family.

Let your spouse look at you differently; to do this, pay maximum attention to her and your children. Visit interesting places together, play with children, arrange family gatherings. Establish trusting emotional communication.

For treason

Talking with the aim of reconciliation will be much more difficult if you have taken such a serious step as betrayal. Be prepared for the fact that you will have to wait a very long time for an answer; at first she will in every possible way avoid meetings or contact with you. What is important to do to promote reconciliation:

Immediately after the exposure, apologize, do not wait until she complains to her relatives and friends. Otherwise, she will begin to receive “good” advice, which will significantly reduce your chances.
Be patient, it will take you a very long time to win her trust. All this time, be prepared for beautiful actions, broad gestures, and attention.
Let her express everything she feels. She can say bad words, insult, accept all this with dignity without negativity and emotions. For every offense you cause that she voices, immediately ask for forgiveness.
Avoid any communication with your lover or other women. Don’t give even the slightest reason, because she will suspect you of infidelity for a long time.
Start wooing your wife from the very beginning. Invite to meetings, organize romantic dates, give compliments, give gifts.

Don't focus only on feelings. Remember that everyday problems and your marital responsibilities have not gone away. Help with raising children, financial issues, and household problems. Show maximum care, let her feel how safe and easy it is to be with a man.

If you raised your hand

Another good reason to beg your spouse for forgiveness is physical violence. According to statistics, it most often leads to divorce. So if you raised your hand and regret it, follow a few rules for atonement:

convince her that this will never happen again in the future;
sincerely repent so that she can hear and see it;
if this happened in front of children, ask for forgiveness from them too;
make sweeping gestures towards her.

Remember that by giving a man his word never to raise his hand again, you simply must not repeat the mistake. There may not be a second chance.

Have you made the biggest family mistake, have you raised your hand against your spouse?

Not really

How to deal with seizures?

If female hysterics become more frequent, then this is an alarm bell .

It won’t be enough to just listen to your chosen one.

Serious measures need to be taken. So if you want your woman not to throw hysterics, or at least to do it extremely rarely, then you should listen to the following advice:

Give her a rest. Let him meet with friends or go to a beauty salon. Better yet, take the whole family and go on vacation somewhere for a week.
If there is no opportunity and time for rest, then at least help your woman around the house . Take on some of the responsibilities, such as walking the dog, washing dishes, or cooking.
Take a closer look at your woman's lifestyle. Maybe she went on a diet again or is even starving?
Try to unobtrusively help her establish a balanced diet. And don’t forget to compliment her so that she stops thinking about the shortcomings of her figure.
Make it romantic. Maybe you had sex so long ago that it’s hard to remember? Have a pleasant evening by candlelight, give your woman a massage with aromatic oils, and then retire together in bed.
Suggest that she see a psychologist. It’s just very important to do it carefully. Explain that there is nothing wrong with this and the help of a specialist will only benefit her.
Ask the woman about her condition . Perhaps it's all a matter of physiology. In this case, she should go to an appointment with a gynecologist, who will prescribe her competent hormonal therapy.

Do not ignore the problem under any circumstances. It is very important to discuss this point and provide support .

It may be that the woman does not even notice how often she actually has hysterics. Your task is to tactfully open her eyes to this and offer your help.

Read about what to do if your relationship with your wife deteriorates after the birth of a child.

"Don't piss me off." What to do if your wife is annoying

With a tight grip

– How to behave when irritation hits you headlong? Keep him in check and not let him out?

– People often try to suppress this irritation in themselves, but not from the position of awareness of the emotions they experience, but from the position of prohibition.

This can be very painful and quite harmful, as it causes emotional and even physical stress.

There is a second option - irritation spills out on loved ones in the form of criticism, scolding, labeling: “you’re stupid”, “you’re a mess”, “you can’t do anything”... It seems to people that if they throw out their irritation in this way, they will encourage another for some changes. But changes for the better after such an outburst rarely occur. If you rudely criticize a person, then most likely he will be offended and is unlikely to want to change anything about himself.

Someone may launch a counterattack, also criticizing in response, throwing out anger. And some people get used to living in a state of constant resentment, fear of criticism. This deprives close relationships of trust and warmth.

And some distance themselves, transfer their interest to another field of activity, to another relationship. For example, if I constantly get scandals and quarrels in my family, then I will look for my happiness in work, in some hobbies, and even in relationships on the side, as is often the case.

– And then what should you do with your irritation, if it’s not good to hold it in and it’s not recommended to throw it out?

– I would suggest separating yourself from this irritation. We must try to see ourselves and our emotions from the outside. I sometimes even suggest that clients first say, “My wife really annoys me.” And then I propose to say it differently: “I feel very irritated when I hear my wife’s voice (well, or see her doing this and that).” And when a person says this, he takes a different position.

The person is already, as it were, separated from his irritation, admits that he notices it, and therefore can comprehend it, understand how it affects him, the relationship.

It is often not the action itself that causes irritation, but the intention we attribute to it. If he didn’t wash the dishes, it means he doesn’t respect me. If he can’t remember something, it means he doesn’t appreciate me. Etc. Whereas in reality, the mistakes of loved ones are more often associated with some of their personal processes, and not with their attitude towards us. But it is precisely erroneous egocentric interpretations that cause irritation.

Try to understand the other person in their own context, not in the context of their relationship to you. It is also important to explain a person’s behavior not by his personal qualities, but by the situation. He doesn’t wash the dishes - not because he’s a quitter and doesn’t respect you, but because he has other things to do or is tired.

You need to discuss the problematic situation with your partner. Explain what is a problem for you. Moreover, not in the person himself, but in his actions.

It is advisable to avoid personal assessments - you are stupid, you are bad, you are ungrateful, selfish, and even more so you must avoid obligations and negative assessments. Because they are unlikely to encourage a person to change, but will only offend and cause retaliatory irritation.

You can try to remember episodes from the past when you and your spouse managed to avoid conflict and come to some decisions. After all, if you managed to create and develop a relationship and it didn’t end in the first week, then it means that you were able to negotiate before, which means you know how to do it. So take advantage of these skills now. It is necessary to invite skills to replace irritation. That is, the main thing is to be able to negotiate.

How to calm your wife down?

If your woman begins to become hysterical, then the most important thing is not to give in to emotions and remain calm .

Do not yell at her under any circumstances, as you will only make the situation worse.

Here is a rough plan of action to calm a woman down:

Be alone with her. Now extra eyes are completely useless. Therefore, ask everyone to leave, or go to a place where no one will disturb you.
Offer her water. Draw the woman's attention to her behavior and offer her a sedative.
Remove all breakable objects , as well as those that may pose any danger.
You can try to do something unexpected to bring the woman to her senses. For example, you can clap your hands sharply, splash cold water on her, or pinch her. Take her by the shoulders and shake her slightly.
Ask her some unexpected question to switch her attention to something else. For example, “What is the Lannister motto in Game of Thrones” or “What was the last movie you watched with Johnny Depp?” Most likely, she will involuntarily think and be distracted from what was bothering her.
When she becomes a little calmer, try to find out what is the reason for her behavior.
If the conversation doesn't work out, then just hug her and don't let go. She will struggle, cry, swear - don’t let go.
Continuing to hold the woman in your arms, speak kind words to her, try to calm her down .
Be sure to listen to her carefully until you see that she has calmed down.

How to treat?

Treatment of hysteria is mainly psychotherapeutic in nature .

You will need to sign up for a session with a psychotherapist who will listen to her, identify the causes of this condition and suggest a treatment method.

Important aspects of treatment also include the harmonization of her relationship with a man and the normalization of her intimate life. To do this, you should go to see a sex therapist .

You may also need to visit a gynecologist who will check your hormones and, if necessary, offer medications to replenish them.

Generally speaking, most often the treatment of female hysteria is aimed at eliminating situations that traumatize her psyche, as well as strengthening the nervous system.

For this purpose, adherence to a sleep schedule, proper rest , a balanced diet, moderate physical activity, relaxation therapy or physiotherapy are prescribed.

Pills

Sometimes treatment for female hysteria includes sedative therapy .

In such cases, drugs are prescribed that have a completely or partially natural composition.

This can be ordinary valerian or motherwort, herbal teas, as well as Novopassit, Corvalol, Persen, Afobazol and others.

In more complex and advanced cases of female hysteria, as prescribed by a psychotherapist, inpatient treatment , as well as taking strong drugs such as tranquilizers and antipsychotics, which have a more serious effect.

How to resist female manipulation? Find out about this from our article.