How to Find the Perfect Wife: 7 Ways, Tips and Tricks

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The ideal wife is the least like the ideal girl. We all dream of finding our perfect soul mate to make them ours. But the whole difficulty is that the erroneous idea of ​​​​the ideal girl does not allow you to find your other half, with whom everything will be great.

We tell everyone that we are not looking for the perfect soul mate. But secretly we continue to search for the perfect one. We choose carefully and meticulously. We are looking for the ideal girl from our dreams, who meets the most stringent standards and requirements.

How to find the perfect girl to make her yours? It's difficult, but it's possible. The problem is that our vision of an ideal girlfriend is far from reality. The ideal wife is the least like the ideal girl.

Why should a man marry?

A man may have thoughts about marriage for various reasons - of his own free will or due to pressure from family and society. However, several common reasons can be identified.

1. Lack of sincere love and support. Short-term, non-serious relationships can rarely provide such things.
2. The emergence of paternal instinct. It is quite difficult to change nature and, upon the onset of emotional maturity, most people have an irresistible urge to start a family. Of course, the first step will be to find a wife.
3. The desire to have a home where someone other than a pet is always waiting. The home seems empty, cold, uncomfortable.
4. Status. It is believed that married men are more trustworthy when deciding work issues. Having an attractive, educated, faithful wife will show a serious approach in all areas of life.
5. Call of Duty. Some men consider it a useless idea to find a good wife and get married. However, they feel the pressure of society, the social obstacles that exist for a person without a family.

Make sure your wife gets some rest

Don't interfere with your wife's acceptable entertainment.

Women love to go to stores and shop. And let her walk, you don’t have to walk with her, you can sit in the car and wait until she returns.

It is important to understand that for the wife this is relaxation, an opportunity to escape from the household routine. Maybe this is not entirely correct, but this is how women have fun and relax.

Another relaxation option for some women is to read something on the Internet. The main thing is that she doesn’t go there for the whole day. To do this, do not give your wife a bad example, try not to stay too long online. I have seen families where everyone has their own tablet, they sit, drink tea, and everyone looks at something on their tablet. I'm afraid there is no communication in this family.

At what age is it time to marry the woman you love?

There is no ideal age to start a family - everyone decides for themselves when they are ready to find the right girl and get married. However, statistics show: a marriage at the age of 20 is less stable than after 5-10 years.

Often young people do not have an understanding of what kind of wife can be considered good, what qualities she should have, so it is undesirable to marry the very first girl in your personal life experience. If religion or views impose restrictions, you can exclude sexual contact, but try to find a few ladies, communicate, and get closer. Gradually, a specific image of an ideal life partner will appear.

Such an experience will most likely help you find a good wife and live a long, happy life together, filled with mutual respect, care, and love.

Your mind and heart must approve of your choice

Love must be combined with reason. You can't act based on feelings alone.

When they say: “This feeling is stronger than me! I can't handle this! - this is not true love, but a sinful passion:

deceptive, selfish and exalted. Love must be in harmony with reason.

But there can’t be a purely rational choice: yeah, she’s beautiful, rich, humble, meek, she has a good confessor, she has an apartment, her parents are rich, she’ll do! I'm getting married! And the heart is silent.

No, you need to have a feeling for the girl, and your mind needs to agree with it. When there is agreement between mind and heart, this is exactly the right choice.

Photo from the site stepandstep.ru

What kind of ideal wife is she? Beautiful, young, smart, faithful?

Everyone has their own ideal wife - some like feminine housewives, while others admire masculine, strong, independent ones. To have a high probability of finding a good wife, you should focus on interests, goals - it is important, first of all, to have similar ideas about life. It is unlikely that a marriage will be strong between someone who wants to raise five children and have their own household, and someone who dreams of traveling and considers himself a bad parent.

Don't let blinding love override common sense. When the desire to get married arises, first of all, you should unobtrusively find out during a conversation how the potential wife sees her future in 5, 10, 20 years. A significant difference of opinion will make the relationship a waste of time for both. However, you should be patient and put aside such questions for a while, otherwise the pressure will scare away any girl. Even if she wants to meet someone to find a husband.

Don't shy away from childbearing

A marriage should have as many children as God gives. You need to discuss this topic with your wife before marriage so that she is ready for it. Find out in advance if she agrees. Living otherwise is a sin.

Having children is salvation for a woman. She may lose outer beauty, but she gains inner beauty - the beauty of the soul. Mothers of many children are very wise women, very good, reliable, wonderful, amazing people.

When carrying a child, a woman does hard work. This needs to be remembered. During pregnancy, a woman becomes irritable, nervous, and easily loses her temper. You need to be especially careful, affectionate, gentle with her. Especially be patient with her during this period.

But when the wife gives birth to a child, she will blossom so much - you simply cannot be overjoyed. There are such wonderful women after childbirth - amazingly beautiful, amazingly complacent, amazingly joyful. And the child himself also brings joy to the family. Each new child is a completely new person, unlike anyone else, special.

V. Kurchinsky, “Young Family”. Image from artnow.ru

How to understand that a girl is also ready to start a family?

In order for a wife to truly be called good, you need to decide without which qualities comfortable coexistence is impossible for you. A woman who will make a good wife has the following qualities.

1. She has the skills of a good housewife or can afford to pay for other people to do household chores. The girl for whom her mother always cooked, did the laundry, and there was no attempt to learn this on her own, will simply become your “child.” You will be required to perform all household duties yourself.
2. Wants kids. For many, the concept of “family” is meaningless without children. If a woman does not want children, it is worth considering whether she is really emotionally ready to start a family.
3. She lost interest in bars and clubs. Of course, a woman who disappears at parties every weekend can hardly be called a good mother and faithful wife.
4. Shows support and sympathy. Unfortunately, there are difficult moments that are difficult to survive without a loved one nearby. If you are not sure that she will be there regardless of the situation, it is better to consider another option.

Once you get married, kiss to your health!

When you have confirmed your decision to connect your life with this girl, God and your parents have blessed you - then after the wedding you can start all the mechanisms, kiss your health! Maybe you shouldn't do it for show. At our parish weddings they don’t shout “bitterly”, and the newlyweds behave with restraint. And before the wedding, you need to avoid everything that can strengthen carnal feelings and lead to serious sin.

Some people say: “You have to try it in advance whether it will work or not.” This is not a Christian approach at all. You can and should pray to God that “everything will work out.” And we pray during the sacrament of marriage for the unity of souls and bodies.

But physical relationships are often the source of grief in marriage. Over time, some of the spouses become bored with them and become unnecessary, but for others, vice versa. There are bound to be some inconsistencies here. There is no need to be afraid of this.

Just don't make this side of the marriage dominant.

If carnal desires begin to be cultivated before marriage, a person loses chastity, integrity of consciousness, and becomes one-sided. The spiritual, spiritual component of his human nature is diminished in him. The mind and higher feelings are clouded by lustful passion. Marriage is not based on true, selfless love, but on the desire to satisfy the flesh. I think this is the main reason for the destruction of families in our time.

Therefore, it is important to develop friendly, trusting human relationships before marriage. Then the carnal aspect will become their natural completion and will take its correct, appropriate place in the entire spectrum of family relationships.

Prodigal passion is a dark moonless night, it crushes the soul with its weight, makes a person a slave to the rebellious flesh, deprives him of freedom, rejects him from communication with God, and plunges him into the hopeless darkness of impurity. The close relationships of spouses are blessed by God, express their desire for complete unity, and find meaning in the conception of the fruit of love - a child. Here the flesh follows the soul, is purified in the fire of love, and serves as an expression of love.

The joy of close marital relationships, inspired by love for the closest person in the world, was never dreamed of by fornicators and harlots, for whom all pleasure comes down to satisfying carnal needs.

Where to meet your future life partner?

It is difficult for a person who has only experience of casual dating to navigate the many myths about finding a future wife.

However, it is quite obvious that relationships that begin with an acquaintance in a club rarely become long-term. We will consider more suitable places in more detail.

1. Company of friends. An ideal option that ensures complete (or almost complete) coincidence of interests and views. The girls who are part of your company in one way or another are unlikely to be significantly different from you. Try to attend events organized by friends more often. Often there are people there whom you know only by hearsay. This is an excellent opportunity to find a good wife. To achieve the best result, tell your friends about your intention to get married, describe the image of the ideal girl. Most likely, they will begin introducing you to suitable candidates.
2. Job. Take a closer look at colleagues who are at approximately the same level of the career ladder - you should not start relationships with subordinates or superiors. This could end badly. An easy way to start communication is to offer help - you just need to find a reason. You can even customize this. If you see a positive reaction, you can move on - invite you to lunch together during work hours, and then on a date. The obvious disadvantage will be the subsequent work side by side with the ex if there is an unsuccessful outcome. After this, you may have to look for a new job, especially if she manages to make public all your mistakes within the relationship.
3. Interest groups. It’s worth finding a few new hobbies, attending meetings, master classes. Try to avoid all-female events, otherwise it will be obvious why you came there. Casual acquaintance will no longer work.
4. Internet. An option ideal for those who are tired of wasting a lot of time only to understand that the girl is hardly suitable in terms of views, interests, principles, or everything at once. Questionnaires that can be easily found inside applications and dating sites allow you to immediately get answers to most of your questions and find a suitable option. One of these services is the LOFT application, in which:

• only honest acquaintances, where everyone immediately openly talks about goals and expectations;
• saving time - no to endless swipes;
• only real profiles of serious men and beautiful girls.

To quickly achieve your goal, it is best to practice all available options, but be careful outside the locations described above. Notice the beautiful women around you, even if it’s your neighbor on the landing. Who knows, you might be able to find a good wife without much effort.

Husband's first duty

Remember that your first responsibility as a husband is to love your wife. Women are different. They know how to love stronger, they are more tender, often more faithful. They have a beautiful, active soul. They are more attentive, more caring. And more fragile, weak.

A man who is going to get married must be ready in advance to protect his wife, understand her weaknesses, tolerate her shortcomings, listen to her experiences, and console her.

She needs to be firm in matters of principle, but in small things - let her do as she pleases. If he wants it differently, please.

A wife must certainly have an area of ​​activity in which she decides everything herself.

With small children, for example, let him deal with it as he sees fit. Don't get involved. When they grow up, you will study with them, tell them, explain, etc. In the meantime, while they are still babies, leave the wife the opportunity to make decisions for herself. Support her.

How and who should you marry so that you don’t want to get a divorce?

A long-lasting, happy relationship is the result of the joint efforts of a man and a woman. Therefore, the following rules should be followed by both:

• Don't try to make your partner fit you. If it is impossible to accept his habits, views, principles, you should just separate. Continuing such a relationship is unlikely to lead to anything good;
• approach the discussion of living together responsibly. This applies to budget distribution, household responsibilities, preferred place of residence, rhythm of life;
• try to help each other. It is advisable to evenly distribute responsibilities between partners - when the wife is a housewife, the husband works all day, most likely both will burn out, there will be eternal scandals and complaints;
• Don't forget about self-improvement. Marriage does not mean the green light to a completely relaxed lifestyle. You, of course, can become someone lazy and immoderate, but your significant other can at any time refuse to tolerate such things around you.

Don't be afraid to be affectionate

When you first meet a girl, you are ready to talk to her for hours. And when she becomes your wife, it turns out that you are more interested in going to your friends.

But wives really look forward to their husband's attention. They complain to me in confession: “When he comes home, he’s silent, doesn’t say a word.”

Before entering the house, stand on the landing and read the “Our Father” three times.

No matter what happens during the day at work, you should come home joyful and hug your wife.

You can give her a bouquet of flowers, chocolate or whatever she likes.

Gifts should be given to your wife not only on her birthday, but more often, in order to somehow support her. Because it will be very difficult for her at home with children.

You are at work, you have friends and acquaintances there, maybe you didn’t work, but sat on the Internet all day. You have an interesting life there, but with your wife everything is the same every day - children, cleaning, kitchen.

This is not so easy for a modern woman.

Therefore, at home you must support your wife, help wash the dishes, clean up. Don’t say that “this is a woman’s business, my business is to work, your business is to take care of the house.” It is not right. The traditional distribution of gender roles is no longer working.

Don't be afraid to be different - don't be afraid to be affectionate, gentle, caring and help your wife. When you come home, do not demand services from your wife. Be sure to talk to her.

You talked enough at work, and she had no one to talk to at home. And don’t blame her for talking a lot on the phone: women have a greater need to talk than you and I.

I should note that it also happens differently. One woman complained to me that her husband, when he came home, pestered her with conversations and questions, but she wanted to rest. Therefore, my advice to talk more and communicate with your wife is not absolute. You need to understand how you can please her - conversation or silence, and choose what she needs now.

Photo from lovelyhdwallpaper.com

Marriage after 30 years

There is a permanent job, a position, a development vector has been determined, it is still young. 30 years is the most fertile time for finding a wife and starting a family. There were probably several relationships, some of them serious. This means there is an awareness of what a good wife should be.

However, you shouldn’t get hung up on finding a life partner, just expand your social circle, agree to attend events, get-togethers with groups - getting to know each other will happen by itself. Use the capabilities of social networks and instant messengers - there you can always find interest groups and chat with one of the participants.

The main sign that indicates the right choice of the woman nearby is a feeling of calm, confidence, empathy, thoughts about a future together, children.

First kiss - at the wedding

It is very important during the dating process - all this year before the wedding - to maintain chastity. Learn chastity. The first kiss is allowed only at the end of the wedding.

I'll explain why. Man has certain mechanisms that were created by God. Not bad mechanisms, good ones. They are needed so that there are children, so that there is an expression of love, so that people unite into one, not only in soul, but also in body. There is nothing wrong.

But these mechanisms should turn on only when you have chosen your wife as a person, and not as a partner to satisfy carnal desires. Although, of course, marital relationships are a very important component of family life, marriage is also a school of chastity, marriage is also a school of abstinence.

Sooner or later, close relationships will end - well, at sixty, well, at seventy, at eighty years old, maybe. Therefore, you cannot base a family on them.

Physical relationships are a consequence of marriage, they are natural in marriage, but should not be the main thing. The main thing should be love for your wife, care for her, attention, sympathy, the desire to learn to love.

The joy of a marital relationship is short-lived and short-lived, but you will have to live with this person for the rest of your life. There is also the joy of friendship, the joy of spiritual communication, the joy of working together, raising children.

Photo from imgex.com

Marriage after 40 years

Forty-year-old men looking for a wife most often come in two types: divorced and confirmed bachelors.

In the first case, the appearance of a new woman nearby is perceived through the prism of experience - she may become a victim of firmly entrenched attitudes (for example, her ex-wife cheated - zero trust in all women).

Such a man needs to work with his own beliefs, find their source, learn to notice beautiful women again - this is difficult, but otherwise you can only make things worse for yourself.

In the second case, the man is so used to living alone that it will be difficult for even the most wonderful woman to break in. Therefore, before looking for a wife, it is worth preparing the space around you for the presence of a woman.

If the ideal formed in youth turns out to be impossible to find, then most likely it is not real. Try to reconsider this “portrait”, or better yet, compose it again, leaving the most important thing. A career woman can hardly wait for you at home every evening and prepare a five-course dinner. The housewife will probably become annoying due to the lack of active, regular interaction with other people. Therefore, simply accept the disadvantages arising from the requirements as inevitable. Without this, unfortunately, it is almost impossible to find a good wife.

There is no need to immediately eradicate shortcomings

Take your time.

One man told me that his wife began to snore over time. At first he woke her up, and then he thought: “I’m waking her up, but she’s tired. I'd rather be patient a little.

Even if I don’t sleep, she will get some sleep.” And he stopped waking her up.

He told me that he felt very good in his soul, as if he had accomplished some ascetic feat. Even such small feats of sacrificial love are very important in family life. And the family will become stronger. By the way, through his prayers, his wife stopped snoring.

You have to be ready to die for your wife

When you choose a wife, you need to understand that you must be ready to die for this woman. But it’s not worth risking your life in vain. If you die and she is left alone or with the children, she will face difficult trials. It is easier for a man to live alone than for a woman. Previously, widows were even a special category of sufferers, whom the Church especially helped.

Of course, your sacrificial attitude towards your wife should not be expressed only in words, but also in deeds, in prayers, in the readiness to really lay down your life for her and do everything for her. You don’t need to specifically talk about this, but you need to tune in to it internally.

You must understand that you choose a wife once, and you will not have another wife. Priests generally do not have the right to marry a second time. The Church allows a widowed man to find another wife for the sake of his children. But it’s still better for the marriage to be the only one.

It is better to remain faithful to your wife and believe that in the Kingdom of Heaven your family relationships will be transformed and the joy of love will increase.

Stay home and pray

I would not allow my wife to give birth at home. There are very sad cases. And I don’t think the husband should be present at the birth in the maternity hospital. Even if the wife really asks. It's better to avoid this. I was once at a birth when there was a danger that the child would die, and he had to be baptized immediately. The spectacle is not for the faint of heart.

You need to pray at this time. It’s not like I sent my wife to give birth and went to celebrate with friends. No. This time should be spent in prayer: pray to God, read the canon of the Mother of God, prepare the house for the arrival of your wife, call her. But you shouldn’t be present at the birth.

During pregnancy, you can discuss this issue with your wife and come to an agreement. You can prepare for childbirth together, go to courses together, but then stay at home and pray.

Don't give reasons for jealousy

Be very careful when interacting with other women. Don't give reasons for jealousy. So that you cannot even be suspected of anything. Because if you act freely with other women, it may seem that you are neglecting your wife and you are interested in someone else.

Until you get married, friends come first for you. But when you get married, your wife will always come first.

You can visit alone, meet with friends, but think about what your wife will do at this time? If she gets bored, then you will have to reduce the time spent with friends.

You need to love your wife more than friends, more than work, more than other relatives.

If she has her own entertainment and her own friends, then you can split up the time and spend the evening or weekend separately. I know that some mothers with many children are very happy about the opportunity to be alone at home, but, of course, we also need to arrange a holiday together.

N. Simkin, “Wirling”. Image from artnow.ru