Fear of responsibility is one of the varieties of modern social phobias, scientifically called hypengiophobia. This word comes from the Greek: hypengyon - responsibility and phobos - phobia. Thus, hypengiophobia is an obsessive fear of responsibility, a painful irrational fear of taking on obligations.
The problem of fear of responsibility
The modern world is multivariate and requires the individual to make difficult decisions. People have to take responsibility for their own actions and face the consequences of their choices every day. Many people experience stress as a reaction to the fear of not meeting the expectations of others, missing something and making a mistake.
Panic fear of responsibility causes uncontrollable anxiety and the person becomes hostage to the phobia. Even the simplest tasks seem impossible. Hypengiophobe is afraid of being let down, of not being able to cope, and is slow to make a decision and does not take any action.
brief information
Many of us are afraid to make decisions and stand up for our ideas because we are afraid of being misunderstood and rejected. The fear of not meeting other people's expectations takes over in every endeavor. It is very difficult for such a person to cope with even the easiest task. In society there are people with leadership qualities who are ready to fulfill their responsibilities and are not afraid to answer for their actions and decisions. The fear of responsibility for decisions made haunts every person; only some can cope with their feelings, while others cannot. The fear of disappointing others can be stronger than a person.
How to determine the presence of a phobic disorder?
Experts in the field of psychology have established that fear of responsibility is a real disease that has its own manifestations.
Physical symptoms of hypongiophobia:
- quiet voice;
- cardiopalmus;
- inability to concentrate on a task;
- nausea;
- headache;
- inability to clearly formulate thoughts;
- increased sweating.
Psychological manifestations of hypengiophobia:
- a feeling of depression caused by a feeling of pressure from the outside;
- the desire to hide, dissolve, disappear;
- panicked state when thinking about the task;
- the desire to postpone solving problems until later;
- irrational feeling of anxiety.
The carrier of the phobia feels internal discomfort, but cannot even explain to himself why he experiences such a set of sensations. He convinces himself that he is tired, that the demands placed on him exceed his authority, and shifts responsibility to others. If an individual can honestly admit to himself: “I am afraid of responsibility,” then this will be the first step towards solving the problem.
Why are we so afraid of responsibility?
A sense of responsibility does not arise on its own. It is laid down and developed, like any other skill, from childhood through proper upbringing: if you break a cup - remove the fragments, scatter toys, put them on shelves, offend a boy in the yard - apologize. Moreover, it is necessary to explain to the child why it is worth doing this, and what will happen if he does not do this. In addition, parents should constantly be interested in the child’s opinion on a particular topic or event, ask about his desires, thereby giving him the opportunity to express himself as an individual with his own needs and goals, and to realize his individuality. This is how we comprehend the irrefutable law of life: any action, positive or negative, is followed by a response. And each of us must be ready to accept these consequences. Otherwise, do not do anything for which we cannot be held accountable.
But often parents, due to inexperience, excessive authoritarianism or perfectionism, do not know how to instill this skill in their child: they do not explain anything, categorically order, make all decisions for him, and do not allow him to face the consequences of his inaction. As a result, a person grows up who is incapable of action, unable and not ready to change anything in his life, make a choice and be held accountable for it. And this man is deeply unhappy. He does not know himself, does not know what he is capable of, he can only wander in the darkness of his soul. He has many desires and plans, but he does nothing, but sits with folded hands, complaining about unfavorable circumstances, the low dollar exchange rate, misunderstanding of others and a million other compelling reasons from his point of view.
What happens to such a person at the mental level? An individual who does not know how to bear responsibility constantly expects to be accused of wrong actions, therefore he unconsciously considers himself guilty, feels like a target for other people’s assessments, and is sure that the “sentence” of insolvency has been passed on him in advance. It’s as if a stern parental voice sounds in his head: “You are worthless, bad, you will not achieve anything in life and must be punished.” In psychoanalysis, this unchallenged inner voice is called the “Super-Ego.” And the more strongly a child was influenced by parental prohibitions in childhood, the more authoritative he sounds in adulthood. As a result, a person becomes confident that he is not worthy to take an adult, responsible position, because this role is unconsciously assigned to mom and dad. Therefore, he can either obey unquestioningly or desperately try to evade this power through irresponsible behavior.
When a situation arises in front of a person with such psychological characteristics that requires a decision, a choice, he is overcome by severe fear and anxiety, which can develop into a real phobia. The psychological dictionary even has a special name for fear of responsibility - “hypengiophobia.” “It happened like this,” “It’s an accident,” “It’s not my fault - he came on his own,” “I didn’t think that this would happen,” and so on - all these explanations help get rid of these strong feelings.
Behind the fear of taking responsibility there is often an unconscious desire for excellence. This option is relevant if our parents never praised us or demanded too much. As a result, we believed, “I have to be perfect to be loved. And if I don’t take responsibility, then no one will notice my weaknesses.”
Others think that by running away from responsibility they maintain their freedom. But this is just a misconception. Our actions, our consciousness, the love that we have for us or that we dream about - if we are not responsible for all this, then someone else is responsible. Someone on whom we become completely dependent...
An irresponsible position threatens us with the fact that we stop doing anything in our lives: we think ten times before doing something, and as a result we abandon this idea, each time finding good reasons to remain in such a state of stagnation . When we are not satisfied with our life, when we feel that we are unhappy, when we clearly realize that we would like to change, but do nothing, when we stop taking care of our appearance, we give up on our figure and health - all these are symbols of what we have removed have given up all authority and are ready to surrender without a fight. Intellectually, we understand that by doing so we are weakening ourselves and getting stuck in a crisis situation for a long time, but we cannot find the strength within ourselves to change this position. Because we are very afraid to make a mistake, to lose, because we blame others or fate for our misfortune, instead of doing the main thing for our salvation - taking it into our own hands.
Being responsible is a difficult choice. This means being honest, first of all, with yourself, knowing what you want, understanding the connection of your actions with consequences and having the courage to choose. All this requires from us a lot of will, courage, effort and willingness to lose, and then start all over again. But as long as we think that the cause of life's problems lies outside of us, favorable changes will not occur in our lives. As long as we shift responsibility onto others who supposedly treat us badly - this could be a rude husband, a demanding boss who does not want to enter into your position, bad heredity, and insurmountable pressure - we will remain at a dead end .
We should always remember: we and only we ourselves are responsible for the key aspects of our life situation, and only we have the power to change them. Even when experiencing external limitations, we are still free to choose how to perceive them. By convincing ourselves otherwise, we risk spending most of our lives in useless infantile games that will always have an outcome that does not depend on our desires. This means that we are assigned only the role of a weak-willed and passive observer who cannot change anything in our lives.
Unfavorable circumstances, aggressive people, misunderstanding bosses, bad weather, unstable exchange rates - all this has nothing to do with you and me. And you shouldn’t indulge yourself in the illusion that someday the stars will align in such a way that everything will work out for the better on its own. It won't work out. It’s time, as Joseph Brodsky said, “to stop being just chattering consequences in the great cause-and-effect chain of phenomena and try to take on the role of causes.”
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Reasons for fear of liability
Fear of taking on obligations can have several reasons for its development:
Childhood education
If parents often criticized the child for mistakes, severely punished him, compared him with other children, demanded excellent studies, then this attitude is imprinted in the mind for the rest of his life. Parental figures are an indisputable authority for the child, who absorbs any attitudes like a sponge, without subjecting them to critical filtration. Due to age, the child’s psyche does not know how to do this.
An adult grows up, expecting accusations, considering himself guilty of everything in advance. In his head, like a record, an accusing monologue sounds: “You are not worthy, you are incompetent, you are a loser, people like you do not achieve anything in life.” The more a person idealizes his strict parents, the more he feels that he is the subject of the evaluative attitude of others, feeling that he will again “get a bad mark.” A fear of responsibility is formed.
Such a person is convinced that he will not be able to take an adult position associated with obligations. Subconsciously, he identifies himself with a punished child who must obey or run away.
Perfectionism
A person is not satisfied with just decent performance indicators of his work; he needs an ideal result. The individual places high demands on himself, just as his parents did in the past. The desire for ideal is characteristic: a perfectionist believes himself to be obliged to produce an excellent result, ahead of the rest. Any activity is perceived as competition.
If it is not possible to achieve the highest indicator in an activity, then self-esteem begins to tend to zero. At work, an employee rarely identifies refusal to perform job duties with the state of “I’m afraid of responsibility”; he prefers to explain it by the erroneous actions of others or inappropriate working conditions. As a result, a person stops trying to achieve something new and gets stuck in the so-called comfort zone, performing long-familiar actions.
Fear of responsibility causes a stop in development, because an irresponsible person does not live up to his own high expectations. At the same time, he does not agree to accept his fairly good indicators, considering them a failure.
Dependence on other people's opinions
This reason, which causes fear of responsibility, contains doubts about one’s own social status, viewing oneself as an outsider, low self-esteem, and fear of public condemnation. A person prefers to “keep a low profile” once again, avoids taking on obligations, and hides behind the backs of more proactive and active people.
The origins of this dependence should also be sought in childhood, where a person had problems entering social life. For example, if a child, as a schoolchild, experienced difficulties with communication, then in adulthood they can develop into social phobia. Self-help tips for dealing with self-doubt are presented here.
Past bad experience
If a person who is not confident in his abilities once failed to cope with the assigned responsibility, there is a high probability that in the future he will begin to avoid repeating such situations. Especially if failure was followed by punishment, for example, deprivation of a bonus for late submission of reports. A suspicious person develops an attitude about the danger of obligations and a fear of responsibility. An avoidance reaction appears.
Causes
- Negative impressions transferred by a child during the period of socialization. The child may be punished for making a mistake, or severely criticized for making an independent decision, or the child is constantly forbidden to do everything.
- Consequences of social stereotypes. A person understands that there are successful and unsuccessful people, and begins to classify himself as the latter.
- Formation of persuasion and negative attitudes. Perhaps a certain decision was made earlier, which resulted in serious troubles and caused a number of consequences. These events create fear of taking on responsibility again.
- Perfectionism or low self-esteem. A person has a constant desire for maximum results. Such an individual begins to compare himself with other people and becomes upset when he sees that he cannot achieve high results. This results in a constant feeling of anxiety, a fear of taking on any obligations.
- Strong dependence on surrounding opinions, fear of being judged.
Ways to avoid responsibility
The problem of fear of responsibility is a developed habit, reinforced by repeated repetition. The human psyche shows miracles of ingenuity where it is necessary to change established patterns of behavior. Gravitating toward stability, the psyche resists change. A person unconsciously looks for ways to avoid obligations.
The main methods include:
- Procrastination, or putting off important tasks until later. Instead of doing the main job, a person does secondary things. May get stuck on social networks for a long time or devote hours to online games. The result is often careless performance of the task, accompanied by feelings of guilt.
- Bad habits. Alcohol, smoking, overeating - these methods of escaping reality for a while help get rid of the psychological oppression of obligations. Being destructive in nature, they harm the psyche and physical health of the individual.
- Shifting responsibility. Conventionally, this strategy is called “loser behavior.” The individual justifies his inaction by unfavorable external factors. Blaming other people helps you avoid commitment without feeling guilty.
What is responsibility?
Let's start by looking at the concept: what is responsibility? If we turn to the word itself, then responsibility is the ability to bear responsibility, to be responsible for one’s words and actions. This quality has many more responsibilities than just accepting what results you have achieved.
Responsibility is:
- The ability to recognize the consequences of your actions and words.
- Accepting the results of your behavior.
- Adequate assessment of consequences.
- Changing results, correcting mistakes, willingness to resolve conflicts with other people.
- The realization that all positive results are the result of your decisions and actions.
Typically, responsibility is needed when a person achieves negative results. If a man encounters failures, he often tries to escape from them. However, responsibility also comes with positive consequences. Good luck and all the good that follows from your actions and words are also the fruits of your efforts. In such situations, men usually do not run away from what they have achieved.
From this we can conclude: responsibility is accepting the results of your decisions and actions, whatever they may be. Men most often run not from responsibility, but from everything bad that will cause them pain, force them to make efforts or admit their guilt.
To stop being afraid of responsibility, men just need to come to terms with some ideas that strongly contradict their selfish nature. The more selfish a man is, the less capable he is of being responsible. And if you just accept your humanity, then you can learn to be responsible.
Consequences of hypengiophobia
The result of this behavior is broken obligations, dissatisfaction with management up to and including dismissal, an unsettled personal life, prolonged stress, and psychosomatic illnesses. Sometimes this state is experienced by top managers of successful companies, realizing that they are responsible for the financial well-being of the entire company.
Regularly postponing decisions and sitting in a corner, a person tries to reduce the likelihood of errors, but in reality he methodically destroys his life. Problems with your personal life, difficulties in building a career, loss of respect from colleagues and acquaintances - this is an incomplete list of the destructive consequences of such a life strategy.
By the way! Psychobiological scientists from Harvard University (USA) discovered that sensitivity to stress is influenced by hereditary factors. About 20% of infants are born with neurochemical characteristics of the psyche, which in adulthood will contribute to the development of hypongiophobia. Such people experience hyper-reactivity in the part of the brain that is responsible for fear.
How is the treatment carried out?
With serious disorders of hypongiophobia, it is recommended to consult a psychotherapist
The treatment of fear of responsibility must be taken seriously in view of the fact that it is a mental disorder.
If the case is not neglected, then the person is quite capable of solving his problem on his own. For more serious problems, it is strongly recommended to consult a specialist.
Professional help
People who are afraid of responsibility at work or in relationships with loved ones may need medical help. It will be offered by a competent psychotherapist who treats patients with similar mental disorders.
A consultation with an experienced psychotherapist costs patients from 600 rubles.
Hypengiophobia should not remain without treatment. This is because it can bother a person for many years and at the same time lead to the development of dangerous complications that negatively affect physical and mental health. A phobia can make the patient uninitiated, lethargic, fussy, or inhibited. This is only part of the consequences that await a patient who refuses full treatment.
Social disruption will worsen a person's overall well-being. He will begin to experience problems in the functioning of internal organs and systems. As a result of the pathological process, ulcers, cardiovascular diseases and somatic diseases are formed.
The combination of diseases of systems and internal organs with fear, which cannot be controlled, results in high disability for a person. He becomes a hostage to a life crisis from which he is unable to get out on his own.
In such cases, psychology and psychotherapists recommend dealing with the problem by increasing the level of importance of tasks and responsibility. A patient who is afraid of these actions must learn to face fear. Otherwise, he will never cope with it.
The treatment proposed by the psychotherapist is to adequately assess the patient’s personal qualities and change his attitude towards his own abilities. Therapy is also aimed at organizing adequate behavior through special training.
Sometimes doctors suggest that patients with fear of liability undergo a course of drug therapy. However, it is not capable of leading to complete suppression of the phobia. Medicines are intended solely to relieve symptoms of panic attacks and anxiety. The fear remains.
