How to start a relationship with a girl, develop and maintain: secrets of successful relationships

At first, relationships seem to you like a kind of game, flirting, conquest. Then you start to enjoy it, you are relaxed. You are doing well and you don't need to do anything for it. After this comes the grinding-in moment.

Often, over time, everything slips into everyday life and habit. It’s just convenient for partners to live together, and no one wants to start all over again. Therefore, it is better to have an unfinished relationship than none at all. But the relationship just needs to be strengthened.

If you are not satisfied with this model, you need to understand and accept one fact: relationships are work.

I'll give you 10 tips that will help strengthen your relationship, take it to the next level and get rid of boredom and banality.

What does a girl look at when she meets you?

There are five main criteria that are primarily noted in a man by representatives of the fair sex of all ages.

  1. Appearance. It is important for a woman to see next to a man with a toned body, in clean and stylish clothes, with a neat haircut and a pleasant aroma of perfume.
  2. Education. This does not mean that the interlocutor must have several higher education diplomas. It will be enough to listen to how he speaks, what he is interested in, whether he reads books, what cultural events he likes to attend, what films he watches most often.
  3. Manners. Most girls like it when they open the door for her, give her a hand when exiting a vehicle, help her put on a coat, and other manifestations of gallantry.
  4. Character. Important male character traits for women often include kindness, sincerity, determination, determination, caring, and the ability to be in charge.
  5. Reliability. It is important for a girl to feel support and support next to her, and not to be in a relationship with a person who needs to be sponsored. If a guy doesn't work, he doesn't have goals and potential, he won't be able to win over a woman.

Also, representatives of the fair sex pay attention to the smell of a man’s body. If it is pleasant and fresh, then the lady will be attracted to you like a magnet.

What to look for

There is an opinion that women decide in the first few minutes whether they will maintain a romantic relationship with a guy. To make a good first impression, there are a few things you need to pay attention to.


To please a girl, take care of your decent appearance. It is unlikely that your beloved will appreciate stale hair, unkempt nails, acne or unkempt facial stubble, the smell of sweat and plaque. Most likely, these factors will not work in your favor. Get yourself in order before meeting women.

Pay attention to clothes

If your shoes are dirty, worn out, and there are stains on your clothes, then do not hope that your beloved will not notice this. Most likely, this is the first thing she will pay attention to. That's why it's important to wear clean and well-ironed clothes every day. This way you won’t scare the girl away and she will like you.

Approaching a girl

There are several nuances that will help you speak correctly and win over your beloved. Take care of good posture and friendly gestures. During a conversation, look your lover straight in the eyes, let your voice sound confident and calm. And, of course, smile. The interlocutor will feel that you are pleased to be in her company. Then, most likely, she will begin to feel reciprocity towards you.

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Language of the body

How can a man say that he likes a girl using body language? You need to straighten your back, straighten your shoulders. You are allowed to lean lightly on something. For example, on a bar counter or a car. From the position of a self-confident man, you can already “shoot with your eyes,” making it clear that you are not indifferent to your interlocutor. If you are sitting, then straighten up, but try to keep your posture natural. Using this knowledge, you can easily seduce the beauty.


Positive emotions make you feel good. That is why in such an important matter as communicating with the woman you like, you must not forget about a smile. This will show a friendly attitude. You can also give your interlocutor a good mood with the help of witty jokes. This will promote the body's production of endorphins. Make sure your humor is not crude or corny.

How to behave with a stranger

Guys often have difficulty meeting a woman. Not everyone can immediately make a good impression. Many guys wonder how to approach the girl they like in the subway, cafe or right on the street. For this, psychologists have developed a number of simple rules.

  1. Finding the right moment. Wait until the girl leaves the restaurant to get some fresh air, you can invite her to dance at the disco, get off with her at the subway stop and start a conversation there.
  2. Confident behavior. The guy should overcome his inner agitation, speak confidently and act calmly.
  3. Originality, but without going too far. Not every girl likes phrases like “Does your mother need a son-in-law?” It's much better if you compliment her, introduce yourself and start a simple conversation.
  4. Deed. You can offer your help, for example, carry a heavy bag, or show your attention and send a cocktail to her table.
  5. Invitation to a meeting. If a woman is in no hurry, then invite her to a cafe for a cup of coffee or ice cream. Indecisiveness can lead to you losing your only chance to meet this particular woman.

If a girl gave her phone number when meeting, then the guy should clarify when it is convenient to call and keep his word. If your attempts to get acquainted are unsuccessful, do not get angry or upset. Learn to maintain composure, then next time you will definitely be lucky.

Don’t despair and don’t be afraid to make an effort to get acquainted, so as not to regret your inaction later.

How to strengthen your relationship:

Be realistic.

Know how to distinguish love from infatuation and euphoria. It is only at first that it seems that she has no shortcomings. A little later you will understand that not everything will always be so simple and cloudless. That sometimes she has a bad mood or problems in life. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship; your connection can bring unexpected surprises.

Sometimes it will eat away at your nerves. But if this is your loved one, you need to be prepared for such unpleasant moments and value your connection. You're a guy, a man - be wiser.

Yes, it is not as magical and fabulous as it seemed at the very beginning. But it’s honest and adult. Don't be afraid to take responsibility. Be ready to solve not only your problems, but also the girl’s problems. In return you will receive the same support and complicity.

Respect your partner.

This is what strong relationships are built on. Quarrels and scandals will test the strength of your couple. And, if you pass it, then everything will stabilize in the future. It is at this moment that it is extremely important to show respect to your girlfriend and not cross the line.

Another important point is self-respect. If you don't respect yourself, who will? You will constantly strive to prove that you are worthy of the girl’s love and attention. This is not male behavior.

Don't complain about your girlfriend. If you don't like something about her, tell her about it.

Show respect for your girlfriend's hobbies. You are two completely different people, so it is logical that your partner may have completely different interests.

Respect your girlfriend's opinion. You shouldn’t decide everything alone and think that making absolutely all decisions for two is good. Consider her opinion, listen to it. Be a team.

Discuss problems.

You will never solve problems in your relationship if you don't talk about them. To do this, there must be trust between you and the girl. If it is not there, quarrels will turn into a vicious circle. If you are not happy with something in your girlfriend’s behavior, discuss it with her in a calm environment.

Share your fears and doubts with her. Even the ones you don't tell your best friends about. Believe me, she will be able to understand you and will be able to find the right words.

Always keep all the promises you make. Don't become a windbag. Keep your word.

Don't think that you are right in any conflict. Try to put yourself in the girl’s shoes and try to understand her dissatisfaction. Often in any conflict both are wrong.

Don't always try to control your girlfriend in everything.

Total control is something that can ruin even the strongest relationships. She shouldn't have to constantly give up something to keep you calm. One day she'll get tired of it.

Just like you shouldn't report to her. You shouldn’t check her phone, social networks, don’t let her go to meet her friends, and so on. Would you like this attitude towards yourself?

If you are afraid to give her complete freedom of action, this only means that you are not confident in yourself. Deal with your complexes, and your paranoia will pass.

Be prepared for both of you to change.

You can't know what a girl will be like in a few years. And what will you be like? This is one of the main problems of many couples. They are not ready for the changes that happen to them.

They do not understand that it is absolutely normal for a person to change his appearance, beliefs, outlook on life, and circle of friends. And they demand that the partner be the same as when they met. Such relationships will not last long.

This is unrealistic, and you must clearly understand this. In order to better prepare for these changes, you need to be more often interested in your girlfriend’s life, her hobbies and interests. And the most important thing is to respect everything that happens in her life.

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Learn to quarrel.

This probably sounds very strange to you, but the right quarrels can not only strengthen, but also save your relationship. What can cause a relationship to fail:

  • Criticism of your partner’s character (insults, getting personal rather than evaluating actions).
  • Shifting the blame (the other person is always to blame for everything, but not you).
  • Insults (a quarrel can be over in a few minutes, but the words that were spoken in a fit of anger will stay in your head for a long time).
  • Avoiding a quarrel (when you hold back negative emotions and carry it inside yourself, then this leads to a problem much more serious than just another conflict).

Learn to forgive.

You don’t need to indulge yourself with the illusion that you will be able to change a girl. She is already an adult and mature person. Accept the fact that you are different people. All you need is to learn to forgive a girl for all her imperfections.

How to learn to forgive:

  • Once the quarrel is over, there is no need to think and analyze who was right. Learn to leave all negative memories in the past. Don’t remember the complaints and grievances that you have already expressed next time.
  • You don't need to do any good deeds expecting your girlfriend to do the same in return. It's not masculine. If you do something, do it for free. And don't expect anything in return. Make peace first without thinking that she will do the same.
  • Just because your girlfriend did something bad doesn't mean she did it on purpose. Everyone makes mistakes, don't take it too seriously. Ask her what caused her to behave this way. State your complaints and close the topic.

Be pragmatic.

There is no ideal and you should forget about the “ideal relationship”. Similar things exist in romantic books and films. You need to turn on the pragmatist in yourself and understand your and her strengths. Based on this knowledge, try to correctly distribute responsibilities.

Apart from this, there are issues that are worth discussing at the beginning of your relationship. For example, how will you determine where and when to go on vacation? How to divide expenses, who is ready to take on what area of ​​responsibility? How much can you and your girlfriend spend from a common budget without consulting each other?

This may seem stupid and trivial, but after a while, you will understand that this is what saves your relationship.

Remember the little things.

Remember the very beginning of your relationship, you looked after your girlfriend, gave her flowers, gave her compliments. Then the need for all this disappeared. Everyday moments got stuck up.

It is very important, after a certain time, to pay attention to little things and try to please your girlfriend. For example, you can invite her on a date, go to the cinema or have dinner at a restaurant together. It is also important to try to spend as much time together as possible on weekends. But not lying on the couch, but going somewhere together and being active.

It is these simple tricks that can save and restore relationships, no matter how long you have been together.

You also need to pay due attention to sex. Sexual intimacy several times a week not only promotes harmony in relationships, but also improves physical condition.

How to behave on a first date

If a girl agrees to go on a date with you, it is important to consider five basic rules of behavior so as not to disappoint her.

  1. Find a comfortable place. The meeting should take place without obstacles, calmly and naturally. You can ask the girl’s preferences, but also take into account your own characteristics. For example, if you don't like going on extreme rides, then you won't be able to relax and perform your best at a meeting.
  2. Help your companion get rid of anxiety and embarrassment. You can compliment her on her appearance and add a sense of humor to the conversation. It is important to choose topics for conversation that are interesting to the girl, and in which she understands no worse than you.
  3. Act confidently without showing inner anxiety. You can prepare for the date in advance and think through topics that will be interesting to both of you.
  4. If suddenly the conversation reaches a dead end, it is important to quickly find your bearings and switch to another topic. You can ask about the girl’s occupation, what she is interested in, how she spends her leisure time. It is important not to bring up deeply personal topics on the first date, such as family matters or past relationships.
  5. Show the girl your interest, be courteous, tactful and gallant, do not use rude words or ridicule in the conversation. The interlocutor will like the kindness, politeness and smiling nature of the gentleman.

You can follow these rules of conduct if you want to transform your relationship with a girl from friendly to romantic. When you meet, surprise your chosen one with a small gift so that she appreciates the generosity of your soul and the seriousness of your intentions.

A bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates or a small souvenir is enough. The main thing is that the gift is inexpensive and non-committal, otherwise the girl may feel awkward.

The key to good relationships

In fact, the best way to develop a relationship is to act naturally. No matter how inexperienced a guy or girl is, they instinctively know what to do with the person they like. But when a partner begins to play a role that is unusual for him (the role of a good girl or the role of a passionate male), alas, this will lead the relationship to a dead end. Behaving in an unnatural way for a long time will not work, and when the truth is revealed, you will regretfully realize that you are not the person your partner needs. Or it is possible that you will simply get tired of your acting activity and decide that this girl is not worth the moral and physical effort spent on her. Remember, the most important rule of a good and long relationship is that the relationship should be easy and comfortable for you!

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What to talk about on a date

Many men do not worry in advance about how to conduct a conversation with a girl, and often encounter difficulties in communication. I highly recommend coming up with a list of neutral topics to prevent awkward pauses in your meeting. The main topics that both understand include:

  • favorite music and films;
  • hobbies with which you can surprise your interlocutor and show yourself at your best;
  • the girl’s hobby, based on this information you can figure out how to conduct the next meetings;
  • the type of activity of each;
  • funny stories from childhood that will touch your interlocutor and make the dialogue relaxed.

If a guy notices interest on the part of a girl and sees that they managed to establish contact, you can superficially touch on love topics. For example, find out what character traits are important to her in a man, her views on family life, whether she likes romance, what male habits are unacceptable to her, and so on.

It is forbidden to ask questions of an intimate nature or touch on the topic of former relationships at the first meeting. This can make her angry or put her off.

Mistakes in conversation

If you do not want to fail when communicating with a woman you like, consider what mistakes you should avoid in a conversation.

Remember how easy it is to learn to communicate with girls, and what not to do:

  1. Uncertainty. Women like men who are confident. Shy guys attract few people.
  2. Lack of initiative. If meetings are monotonous, and only the girl offers any innovations, she may get tired of it. As a result, your chosen one will avoid dating you and will start dating a more interesting person.
  3. Mentions of past romances. If you start mentioning your ex while talking to your woman, it will turn her off. The chosen one will begin to be jealous and decide that the old feelings live in you. Such conversations will not benefit the development of new relationships.
  4. Boasting. When trying to please, you should not exaggerate your merits. Usually girls immediately understand that the interlocutor is just trying to impress. This is difficult to surprise or delight. If a young man is caught lying, it is doubly unpleasant.
  5. Obscene expressions. You shouldn't show rudeness. Some guys think they look cocky and cool when they swear. This is wrong. But if the girl is aware that in front of her you are trying to control yourself and speak civilly, this will work to your advantage.
  6. Distractions. If during a conversation you look at your phone, answer calls and correspond with someone, the girl will not like it. She will decide that you are not very interested in her. It won't be pleasant.

If you are not used to meeting girls and you rarely communicate with them, then during the conversation you may feel nervous. Good preparation for the date will correct the situation. But even if the meeting ends in failure, there is no need to worry. You will have the opportunity to practice talking to girls and learn how to make a good impression.

How to treat a girl without losing her

Not all men in relationships know how to properly treat their chosen one during periods of crisis and the appearance of chills. To solve this problem, psychologists have developed the following recommendations:

  • take care of your loved one every day;
  • maintain passion in intimate life;
  • organize romantic meetings;
  • make unusual presents;
  • give compliments regularly;
  • show tenderness and attention;
  • be interested in the affairs of your beloved, her hobbies, dreams;
  • build relationships with her family and friends;
  • spend more time together;
  • do not lie even in small things;
  • be able to listen without interrupting;
  • Do not criticize excessively if there is a reason.

Anger, aggression, reproaches, insults and humiliation will lead to a breakdown in relationships. Even if a girl is wrong, you need to behave with dignity and not lose your composure.

How to communicate with a girl correctly

I'll give you some simple tips on how to talk to a woman.

  1. Don't be boring. Any story should be told emotionally, and not monotonously and tediously. Women value intelligence and erudition in men, but at the same time they need to be able to arouse interest and excitement for further communication.
  2. Speak quietly and slowly. You should not jabber incoherently, otherwise the interlocutor will not understand anything, and too much information will tire her and cause irritation.
  3. Talking is not enough. There is no need to tell the girl all the information about yourself at once, otherwise the dialogue will turn into a monologue.
  4. Be original. Do not burden your interlocutor with everyday problems, stories about work and pets. Know how to present information in an interesting way, with humor, in order to surprise a woman.
  5. Ask the right questions. Choose questions that can be answered in detail. Then the woman will be able to think about something new, express her point of view, and philosophize.
  6. Get to know each other. A man must inspire confidence in his interlocutor. Try to be honest and sincere in your communications. You can talk about your family, remember a couple of funny stories, but don’t embellish them.
  7. Turn on your imagination. To prevent communication from being banal, come up with interesting questions so that the woman can express herself. For example, you can ask what animal she associates herself with or how she would spend a million dollars.
  8. Don't put pressure on the girl. If the conversation suddenly turns to sex, watch her reaction. If the girl smiles sweetly and is not angry, then you can continue. Treat her with understanding and try to feel her reaction to your words.

You can learn more about how to properly communicate with a girl on our website and from the video.

How not to behave with a girl

When communicating with a girl, it is important not to show the following character traits:

  • diffidence;
  • greed;
  • cowardice;
  • indecision;
  • talkativeness

Women don't like men who talk too much. They have girlfriends for frequent and long conversations. A woman primarily appreciates a man’s reliability and the way he keeps his promises. She will be fascinated if you make some big decision yourself and bring it to life.

No normal girl will like it if you start praising another girl in front of her. At a minimum, she will perceive this with suspicion, and at maximum, she will think that you are prone to cheating. Then there is no chance for you to develop a relationship.

If a girl asked you for something and you didn’t do it, she will remember it and in the future she may turn not to you, but to someone else. In addition, a scandal cannot be ruled out. However, it is not necessary to be at the beck and call for all women’s whims. It is better to voice your opinion and decision immediately, regardless of whether you can fulfill the request or not. Behave like a man, don't shirk.

I don’t advise doing women a favor. If you did something, it was of your own free will, because you decided so. You should not show that you are expecting something in return.

You cannot promise a woman what you cannot or do not want to fulfill. It is better to refuse first, and then think about it and agree at will, and not vice versa.

If a woman is in a bad mood and is all emotional, the best way to find out about the problem is to ask in a calm and gentle tone what is bothering her. A heartfelt conversation will help her calm down and share her experiences with you.

Girls don't like it when men criticize her tastes, interests, hobbies and outlook on life. Such interlocutors are trying to elevate themselves in this way, which means that they have problems with self-esteem. If you think that your chosen one is mistaken, do not stop her from expressing her point of view. Otherwise, she may find a more delicate man with common views and preferences.

You can learn more about male mistakes at the stage of meeting a girl in the video:

Conversation order

Every day we strike up conversations with strangers on the street, in public transport or in a cafe. But communicating with a girl who is pretty can be difficult. Guys doubt themselves, are nervous and have no idea how to structure a conversation. First you need to establish contact and try not to show emotions.

Let's start communication

First, smile at the girl you like and approach her. Introduce yourself and find out her name. When communicating with a girl, try to be sincere. Don't say cliched phrases and don't try to immediately charm your date.

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You can approach a stranger and tell her: “Good afternoon, I’m Vitaly. May I know your name?”

While in a restaurant, offer your chosen one a drink. For example, use the following phrase: “Good evening, my name is Sergey. Can I treat you to a cocktail?”

What negative male character traits attract girls?

Men can use negative character traits and some bad habits for good and attract women with them.


Women usually like healthy male egoism. They like it when their partner is self-confident, proud, and knows what he wants to achieve in life. A woman thinks that such a man will be able to protect, take care of her and will always achieve any of his goals.


Ruthlessness and heartlessness, determination and masculine strength often conquer women's hearts. A man's rudeness does not always tell girls about bad upbringing. Sometimes it seems to them that a rude partner can achieve a lot in life and will never stop halfway. And successful men are always popular with women.


Some women like resourceful and cunning men who can emerge victorious from any situation. These ladies are not at all embarrassed that on the way to achieving their goals, their chosen ones will be cunning and manipulate people. Perhaps someone will consider this wrong and stop communicating with the cunning man, but there are women who will immediately trust the leader and will sincerely admire his successes.


A man who admires himself may attract a woman because he exudes confidence. She will be pleased to be in the company of someone who knows her strengths and is not afraid to tell others about them. However, you should not constantly talk only about yourself, otherwise the woman will soon become bored.

How to start respecting yourself

In order not to experience awkwardness and uncertainty when communicating with the opposite sex, I recommend paying attention to six important aspects.

Your achievements

Every man should have achievements that he is proud of. If you doubt the success of something, remember your achievements; they will motivate you to move on. It is important to achieve your goals in order to enjoy a positive result.


To feel your best, eat right. It’s better to cook yourself a salad and steak rather than heat a semi-finished product in the microwave. Try not to eat cheap and low-quality products. This way of eating will negatively affect your mood and health, and take away your strength and energy.

Goals and their implementation

It is important to plan your affairs for the day, month, year and implement your plans. You can break one large-scale goal into several small points and gradually implement them. Set simple goals for yourself, but implement them every day.


Men with small salaries do not feel confident; they cannot even give a bouquet of flowers when meeting a woman. They often consider themselves losers who cannot achieve anything in life. If you are not satisfied with your current income, be sure to change your job. Try something new, don't stick to your usual but low-paying job.


It is important for a man to pump up his body. To do this, you need to go to the gym, pool, and play your favorite sport. Never miss a workout, achieve results. When a man sees the fruits of his efforts in the mirror, he begins to respect himself.

Beautiful women

Surround yourself only with beautiful women, try not to waste your time. You should admire the person who is next to you. It should be interesting and cool to be with him.

Eye contact

Because of embarrassment, people often look anywhere during a conversation, but not at the interlocutor. Some people consider eye contact impolite. But if you pay attention to how children communicate, you will notice that they will not hide their gaze. After all, this is how we can show the importance of the person who is nearby.

If a guy communicates with his eyes, it will be easy for him to get to know the opposite sex. It will also show how open and confident you are. The gaze must be attentive. Show that you are ready to listen and support.

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Use hand gestures

You can also show that a girl is attractive to you using gestures. They will talk about feelings more eloquently than words:

  1. Play with your interlocutor's hair. When you barely know each other, it can be intimidating. But if you see that she is inclined towards you, use this technique. It will help make a strong impression and show that you enjoy touching your chosen one.
  2. Turn your whole body towards her. If the posture during a conversation is open, this will indicate genuine interest. That's why you shouldn't cross your arms or legs and it's important to turn straight to your loved one.
  3. Inadvertently touch your partner's arm or leg. By doing this you can show that you want to belong to her and are ready for a relationship.
  4. Shake off a weightless speck of dust or a drop of rain from your chosen one’s shoulder. This will show that you treat your interlocutor with care and love.

Consider the girl's personal space

Another point that needs to be taken into account if you want to figure out how to learn to communicate with pretty girls is personal space. If you have only recently met, you should not break it. The interlocutor may not like this. It is important to be at a decent distance - about two steps from her. Then your beloved will feel comfortable, and you can admire her.

Voice volume

When communicating with a girl, not only what you say is of great importance, but also how you say it. You cannot raise your voice, otherwise the interlocutor will think that you have problems with hearing or with your head. But you shouldn't be too quiet either. This indicates that the person is not confident in himself. The voice should sound quite loud and clear so that the companion can make out every word.

Using compliments

Give compliments while talking. They can relate to hairstyles, hair and the image in general. It is also acceptable to praise the girl’s sharp mind. At the same time, it is important not to go too far, otherwise the interlocutor will decide that you are simply flattering her or are pursuing your own goals and want to lull your vigilance.

Use humor

Girls like to communicate with cheerful guys; many prefer them to handsome handsome men. If you can make a good joke, show it. Vulgar jokes are unacceptable - they are inappropriate in a conversation with a person you barely know. True, there are exceptions to any rule.

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