You're not trying
You probably like to spend your evenings at home, watching TV or reading a book. And if this is so, then there is no reason to complain about celibacy.
Oddly enough, the man of your dreams is not hiding under the bed, waiting for the right moment to tear you away from the sofa and take you to the world of dreams.
If you want to find him, you'll have to go to the front line. Yes, this means that you will need to leave the house to start interacting with people, not just your cat.
From time to time, having family gatherings in front of the TV is not at all prohibited if you devote the rest of your time to communicating with new acquaintances.
Chronophages and their accomplices
There are 24 hours in a day. We devote only 8-9 to sleep, and let another 5 to our natural needs, such as food, for example. There are about 10 hours of personal free time left. What are we doing with him? Are we using this resource rationally? Do we know about time management?
Just remember one thing - if the concept of “killing time” still exists in your vocabulary, you will never achieve success.
Because time is a very valuable resource, sometimes much more valuable than even money. After all, you can earn unlimited amounts of money: hit the jackpot, for example, marry a millionaire or, at worst, rob a bank. But you won’t be able to get more of the allotted time. That’s why American business psychologists love to describe this resource this way: imagine that every morning $86,400 is deposited into your bank account (that’s exactly how many seconds in a day). And until the next morning, the balance on this account is canceled, no matter how much it is. And there is no guarantee that tomorrow morning this amount will be in the same place. How much money would you put to good use from this account today?
That is why the “chronophage” is one of the most insidious phenomena for a successful businessman. What it is? These are people, things and habits that steal time. This is a chatty friend who definitely needs to drop into the office and retell yesterday's reality show for an hour, this is a friend who is always late for an appointment, this is a personal vehicle that loves to break down at the most inconvenient time. And finally, the chronic habit of putting everything off until later, which is slowly stealing “today” from us. And tomorrow a person will wonder: “Why am I unlucky in love, with men, or at work?”...
Do you want to be successful? Don't waste a minute!
Learn English in the car, read good educational books on the subway, communicate with a chatty friend only on the way somewhere, organize your personal time and try to live every day as if it were your last.
Hard worker
If you really want to find love, then stop making excuses like “I don't have time to meet new people” or “I have too much work.”
But is it your job's fault that you can't find time to have coffee with the man you just met?
Chances are, your hectic life is an excuse to avoid any potential intimate relationships. So take the time to meet people and don't use your job as an excuse out of fear of meeting someone.
Life scenario “No to happiness!”
Sometimes we ourselves set out to live a half-life, in the style of a “loser,” as Americans like to say. Of course, unconsciously. This happens when the following words are heard in a family from the very birth of a child: “Well, the Petrovs bought an apartment for their daughter, and a car for their son. But we will always be poor, and our children will be poor, and our grandchildren! Because that’s how life is”, “I look today, Ivanova went to work - so happy, in a new fur coat. But we will always get sick and work for medicine, because this is the standard of living in the country!” But the growing child himself constantly hears how clumsy, stupid and “all like a drunk daddy” he is.
It is not surprising that in adult life such a person will be content with a mediocre position, low earnings and unpleasant friends. And from all the luring of networkers according to the principle: “We will make you a millionaire!” he will shy away as if from a rattlesnake.
How can I change this? Convince yourself. Surround yourself with loving and supportive people, and drive all critics and whiners down the drain.
“Man does not seek luck, luck seeks man.” Turkish proverb
You are pessimistic
It may seem difficult, but it is useless to go out in public if you do it without conviction and with a negative approach such as: “I will never meet anyone.”
Okay, you've had negative experiences in the past, maybe even rejections. But who didn't have them? You must be strong enough to overcome your fears and not expect another disappointment.
Be optimistic! After all, if you don't believe that someone is waiting for you, you will never find them.
Why are men unlucky in their personal lives? How to fix the problem?
Men, no less often than women, look for answers to why they have no luck in their personal lives. Many psychological causes do not depend on gender. Singles can have many virtues and still remain single. What are the reasons for bad luck?
Failed previous relationships
Negative experiences from past relationships affect many men. They evaluate a woman after meeting once. Such people often engage in promiscuous relationships, using girls for sex.
If such men come up with the idea of starting a family, most likely they will:
- give the lady checks;
- constantly suspect;
- will turn into pathological jealous people with whom it is impossible to build love.
Be sure to read:
If a man is greedy, is it worth continuing the relationship, signs and how to behave
Getting rid of a negative attitude is not easy; you need to understand that women are different. There are also those who can truly love and not betray their partner.
You need to learn to enjoy good moments and not think that the time for parting must come.
Women are only interested in material values
There are indeed a lot of women striving for material wealth, but this does not mean that they are all bad, because they think about the future, whether their husband will be able to support his family.
There are situations when girls demand expensive gifts. In most cases, these are young, unmarried people who are not planning a family. Men are not forced to choose a mercantile person, there are many unassuming girls, and there is no need to treat the entire female sex equally.
Male failure
There are many men who are not popular with women. This makes guys have complexes, feel inferior, and be afraid of dating. An unsuccessful experience of intimacy can lead to a loss of self-confidence and avoidance of girls.
Psychologists advise avoiding vulgar people who may make caustic remarks, thereby further humiliating your partner. It is better to choose modest, well-mannered girls with whom you will be able to establish a spiritual and intimate connection, even if not on the first try.
You are unavailable
If you surround yourself with a group of friends as soon as you walk in the door, the man of your dreams probably won't find a way to ask you out.
It's better to step aside from time to time or stay with one or two girlfriends to make it easier for them to notice you and approach you.
Likewise, if you walk around with a headset on your ears or with your nose buried in your phone, you are unintentionally limiting your dating opportunities.
So leave your smartphone at home and be open to the world around you. Allow yourself to smile at strangers, look people in the eyes, and even engage in conversation.
Why are women unlucky in love? How can I change everything?
According to statistics, beautiful and successful girls are more often unlucky in love. The reason for bad luck mainly lies in behavior and excessive demands on a partner.
After all, a loved one must be:
- rich;
- smart;
- handsome;
- have a sense of humor;
- play sports, etc.
The woman begins to wait for the prince, not allowing herself to see the merits of a partner with whom she could be happy.
Expectations of a rich groom
Parents often instill in girls that their husband must be rich. And if in adolescence the daughter begins to date a poor person, the meetings are stopped.
As a result, money comes first in relationships. Commercialism makes it impossible to consider a person’s merits, and having found a rich man, women are sincerely surprised why the relationship does not work out. Left alone, they resume their search for a rich companion.
Be sure to read:
Couples where the girl is taller, what are the advantages, getting rid of complexes
Women are advised to change their behavior , take a closer look at promising and hard-working young people with whom it is interesting to go together to achieve material wealth in the future.
Imprint of a former relationship
An unsuccessful romance makes women withdraw and discourages them from dating. Behavior is wrong: bad experiences can make way for real happiness.
Failure should not cause disappointment; the experience of building love comes with age. Some people have to spend half their life to meet their soul mate, but these people do not regret anything; the opportunity to be with their loved one is worth a lot.
Psychologists' advice comes down to trusting your partner. To learn to believe, you need to love yourself, stop thinking that the end of a relationship is always betrayal and pain.
Fear of intimacy
Fear of intimacy can be present regardless of whether a person has had sex. Genophobia arises from a misperception of intimacy.
Fear of intimacy may be present regardless of whether a person has had sex
Girls face this problem more often than men, because they are conditioned to the immorality of intimacy before marriage. A negative perception of intimacy also occurs in girls whose mother often changed boyfriends. The opinion that men only need sex becomes obsessive and interferes with the building of love.
The triggers for genophobia can be:
- fear of unwanted pregnancy;
- rape;
- low self-esteem;
- fear of sexually transmitted diseases;
- own bad experience;
- physical abnormalities.
The recommendations boil down to the fact that in order to enter into intimacy with a person with whom a spiritual connection has been established, both partners must be ready for sex. Psychologists advise discussing intimate problems with a partner.
Ho'oponopono
It's a confusing word, isn't it? It looks, frankly, like some kind of magic spell from an ancient holy book. This definition is partly correct. Using this method, one doctor was able to cure many people from the disease without even having personal contact with them. How to return luck with its help? The Ho'oponopono method is based on the idea that each person is one with the Universe and other people. That is, everything that you can observe, hear, everything that happens around you is somehow related to your personality. Focus on the problem you want to solve and repeat the following 4 phrases:
- "I'm sorry".
- "I'm sorry".
- "I love you".
- "Thank you".
In this case, you should not turn to the person who created the unpleasant situation, but to the Universe or God, call it what you prefer. The decoding of the phrases looks like this: “I’m sorry that I created such a world. I'm sorry. I didn’t know where this would lead, I didn’t know that I was creating these circumstances, I love you and thank you for allowing me to correct the situation and create a happy life.”
Healthy lifestyle
What would seem to be the connection between a healthy lifestyle and good luck in business? There really is a connection, because it is no coincidence that they say: a healthy mind in a healthy body. Give your body moderate physical activity, think about a balanced diet, and you will see that your mood has improved, your perception of the world around you has become more positive, and failures have somehow begun to bypass your home. Charge yourself with happiness hormones and get rid of negativity with walks in the fresh air, an interesting hobby, new acquaintances, a slice of dark chocolate and good positive music.
A piece of chocolate makes it easier to deal with failure
Sometimes it’s enough to think: what exactly can make your life more joyful and, as a result, luckier? In many ways, a person limits himself and those failures for which he constantly blames his fate are not such a chronic evil. Change your attitude to the situation , rely on yourself, your strengths and skills, and we wish everyone a great mood and good luck on every day of the year, especially on Mondays and Fedosya Day!
Engage in every action to the limit of your capabilities
We live in a competitive world. To avoid failure, you need to be faster, stronger, smarter and more savvy than your competitors. Unlucky people tend to have a defeatist attitude: “Well, I’ll try, but I won’t try too hard, it won’t work anyway.” Imagine a boxer who enters the ring with the thought “why am I going to jump and strain, he’ll still knock me out in the fourth round.” Can sport exist with such an athlete’s approach? No. Testing involves effort and struggle. If you are sure that you will lose, either lose your faith first, or find something not so clear-cut for yourself.
Reason #1 for bad luck - bitter experience of the past and fears
Do you remember the saying: “I get burned on milk, but it blows on water”? Who among us did not fall in love in our youth? Who among us has not suffered from unrequited love? It was then that this stupid confidence took root that “they are all the same.” This is a kind of program written into the subconscious to protect us in the future. Nature takes care of us in this way, protects us. But sometimes this defense mechanism plays a cruel joke.
And every time fate gave us another chance, we, without realizing it, refused it. It would be more correct to say that our fears did this for us.
But they fell in love again! But the weight of previous mistakes hung like a stone around my neck. Not allowing you to forget about the past pain for a second and therefore the failures are repeated.
Reason #5 - sacrifice, low self-esteem
One of the good reasons for breaking up a relationship, if one suddenly appears, is excessive sacrifice! “I am everything to him... and he?...” Or “What was he missing? I left my friends for him, and...” - sound familiar? Have you already heard it somewhere?
Or maybe it wasn’t worth sacrificing yourself on the sacrificial altar of love at all? Maybe you shouldn’t “do everything for him) and nothing for yourself?
One of the reasons that “there is no change on the personal front” is that as soon as people begin to develop more or less normal relationships and everything gets better for them, one of the partners will definitely begin to try on the mask of a sacrificial doe. For what??? You are loved for who you are! And this happiness must be cherished like the apple of your eye. Remember - low self-esteem is the enemy of a happy personal life.
Loneliness, lack of personal life, depression, feeling trapped - all these are links in the same chain. Agree, it is unlikely that if a person has a full personal life, he will feel lonely. Often depression is a consequence of a breakup.
Luck at work
Many people try hard at their workplace, but cannot achieve great heights, or even dream of going home quickly at the very beginning of the working day. Such relationships with work take away the joys of life and hurt the employee’s self-esteem. Things snowball, causing constant stress and unwillingness to work. Of course, there are periods of stagnation even in the best workplace. But in this case we are talking about constant emotional discomfort. The best psychologists and authors of books about the work of the subconscious, such as, for example, Vadim Zeland, explain that money is simply energy and comes in abundance to those who do what they love. Take a close look at your occupation. Is this what you were aiming for? If you find it difficult to answer, you can reformulate the question differently: would you do your job if you didn’t have to earn money? If the answer is no, you should think about changing your activity.
