How to become an optimist in life: 10 psychological tips

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As you know, pessimists' glass is half empty, optimists' glass is half full, and egoists generally publicly declare that the glass belongs to them. This phrase in a humorous form presents the truth: the same event can be looked at in different ways. And it is on our view of our own life and everything that happens in it that our mood, as well as our psycho-emotional state, depends.

Alas, not many people can honestly admit that they sincerely enjoy life and are more often in a good mood than in a bad one. Neither a salary increase, nor a visit from an old friend, nor a long-awaited new thing no longer causes positive emotional outbursts. And if life gradually turns into a gray routine with one day passing after another, it’s time to think about how to become an optimist. You don’t want to spend the rest of your years in sorrowful experiences or be an “ice queen” who doesn’t care about the whole world? If not, then the advice of psychologists will be very helpful.

Look for the positive side

Most people push everything good away from themselves. When something didn’t work out, a person thinks: “I’m a failure,” “everything failed again,” “I shouldn’t have done this,” “I knew it wouldn’t work out.” Instead, you need to look for the positive side in every situation. Started your own business and went broke? But we gained invaluable experience. Didn't your relationship with your loved one work out? You have experienced many positive moments together. Think about it this way: it didn’t work out right now, but I have time for one more try. Next time it will definitely work. Remember that there are no easy paths, perfect relationships and eternal life, so do not trade your existence for negative thoughts. Look for the positive side in every situation.

How to neutralize unfriendly people

Magicians and esotericists offer a thousand ways to protect yourself from enemies and ill-wishers. We will not resort to dubious methods. But we will give practical advice on identifying such individuals and neutralizing their negative impact.

How to recognize a schemer

At first glance, these are calm and friendly personalities. But this impression is deceptive. They build multi-step combinations to achieve the goal (dismissal of an employee, deprivation of his authority and respect from colleagues). It is in your interests to identify such a colleague or “friend” as soon as possible. The following signs will give away an intriguer.

They are curious and try to extract valuable or interesting information using all possible methods. They use it in the future to escalate the conflict.
In a conversation they try to seize the initiative. Thus, they unleash a barrage of questions, preventing them from asking about themselves.
Masters of the behind-the-scenes game. They think through combinations in advance. It is almost impossible to catch them red-handed; they act very carefully.
They rather occupy secondary positions and do not shine with talent, and are not professionals.
Envious. Sometimes it reaches the point of absurdity, the root cause is uncertainty. They are not ready to put up with the fact that someone is richer, more successful, talented and simply beautiful. They correct such “injustice” with all their might.

When the ill-wisher has been identified, you need to build your own plan of action. This will help you keep the situation under control. Psychologist Vladinata Petrova in the book “How to protect yourself from rudeness. 7 simple rules” gives constructive advice.

Don't let the aggressor take the role of judge. Remind him of his right to privacy, doubt his competence, and do not allow him to be intimidated by an “authoritative” opinion.
When insulted, do not try to make excuses. Describe the current situation in the form of a picture. Counter questions are appropriate here.
Have you ever thought about how your actions look from the outside now?
What did you just say, what is the conclusion based on, can you confirm this with facts?
Distract attention by any means, do not let them bombard you with questions and accusations. Before answering, think about whether your opponent has the right to ask this.
Reconstruct his actions. You shouldn't get into a fight. The conflict will flare up more. Instead, break down the insults. Let him explain. For example, clarify: “This is an order... Why do you say that?” Another great method is the “verb hook.” When answering a question, repeat the words of the interlocutor. - Marya Ivanovna, how do you live without a husband now? - Yes, it lives, it lives. This way you will not allow yourself to be offended by leaving him without information and reasons for gossip.
Describe irritating factors. Now we are talking about non-verbal impulses and methods of influence. The phrase can be pronounced in different ways. When you hear mockery in your voice, intonation, or style of pronunciation, immediately ask your opponent what makes him talk like that. It is important to accurately describe its actions.
Hint at inadequacy. You should not openly insult him. At the next prank, just tactfully note: “Was it really like that or is it a figment of your imagination?”
Keep your distance. Do not allow it to become personal and strictly stop conversations on personal topics or attempts to discuss colleagues (acquaintances). Avoid the unpleasant conversation.

Communicate with optimists

No one has yet managed to become an optimist in a pessimistic environment. Your friends, acquaintances, colleagues, relatives shape your vision of the world around you. Therefore, try to communicate with optimists, they will allow you to catch the right wave, rethink your view of some things, and as a result, become an optimist. This is all natural. For example, if you live in Russia, over time you will begin to speak Russian, even without meaningful study of the language. It’s the same with optimists, if they surround you, they will infect you with their energy and will not allow you to give up.

Try to avoid being late and rushed

Constantly being late is very annoying, and first of all, for the person who is late. When you are in a hurry somewhere, time is running out, a delay promises trouble, your step is accelerated: your whole body is tense, on edge, and exactly the same thing happens with your emotions and thoughts.

If you can't stop being late for once, Reedus has published instructions that will help you make punctuality your new norm.

Smile

A smile is an indispensable attribute of an optimist. Start your day with a smile, smile at your reflection in the mirror, at your significant other, at your parents, at your neighbors, at those around you. A smile will give you and everyone around you a charge of positive emotions for the whole day.

Important: the smile must be sincere, then the effect will not take long to arrive.

A pessimist is most often stingy with smiles and laughter, even when everything is going well. He believes that if everything is good now, then something bad will definitely happen soon.

RULE No. 9. Remember to be grateful!

Most of us don't mind complaining about life. There would be someone, but there will always be a reason - a brutal boss, a silent husband, noisy children, a mess at home and lack of repairs, a friend bought a new car, and you have to shake in the subway every day, and so on. The list of such complaints is usually quite long. At the same time, we rarely focus on the thought of what we should wholeheartedly thank fate and the universe for. Each of us definitely has something to be grateful for in this life. And if you think about it, there are not so few reasons for this. Learn to express gratitude sincerely and you will feel much better.

Lift your mood daily

In order to maintain a positive attitude, you need to fuel it with films, books, trainings, and music. Do what you love, allow yourself a little weakness after a working day. Motivate yourself with literature and films, it really helps not to lose confidence in your abilities.

Sports, music, meetings with friends must be present in your life. These attributes are necessary for every person, and an optimist uses them to the fullest, they bring him happiness.

How to become a sunshine person

You have met such people in life. It is very pleasant and easy to communicate with them; they seem to radiate internal energy. And we involuntarily asked ourselves the question, how to find peace of mind and maintain optimism? There are a few simple rules here.

Lead a healthy lifestyle. Alcohol, nicotine, fast food undermine our health. And it is very difficult to remain in a good mood when you are unwell and your physical condition leaves much to be desired.
Do what brings you joy and give 100 percent to what you love. You shouldn’t put up with a job you don’t like or a husband who is a tyrant. Look around, the world is full of wonderful prospects.
Take an inventory of your environment. If you notice that after communicating with a certain person, you feel uneasy, feel discomfort or loss of strength, do not waste time on him.
Get inspired. The way to do this is different for everyone. For some, a trip to the forest is enough, while for others, the atmosphere of libraries and art galleries fascinates them.

To be happy or to accept the role of a “victim” is a decision that everyone makes for themselves. Anyone can learn to be optimistic and look at life with joy. You just need to work on yourself a little and develop the right habits.

Have a rest

Work always entails stress, which is why the body needs to recuperate. Even an ardent optimist needs a couple of days off a week, otherwise the positive attitude will be eaten away by fatigue. It’s better to work twelve to fourteen hours on weekdays and rest on Saturday/Sunday than to sit in the office from nine to six all seven days.

You also need to pay attention to your own sleep schedule. It is easier for the body to go to bed and get up at the same time, and the duration of sleep should be at least eight hours a day.

RULE No. 10. Enjoy your health!

Being optimistic is good for your health! After all, cheerful people, unlike pessimists, have a stronger immune system. In people with a light disposition, infectious diseases are much easier and pass faster than in those who are prone to sadness. Immunologists associate this with the high content of “happiness hormones” in the body of life-loving and cheerful people. “Happy hormones” serotonin and endorphin help the immune system actively resist diseases. But the body of a pessimist is much weaker in fighting viruses - he spends too many internal resources on his experiences.

Positive emotions are natural stimulants of the nervous system, mobilizing the reserves of our body. Joy, inspiration, delight, pleasure and other positive emotions have an extremely beneficial effect on our well-being and improve performance. Therefore, it is not surprising that long-livers are most often people who love life in all its manifestations. Cultivate a positive attitude towards life, and it will certainly reciprocate your feelings!

Value your life

In the constant routine of a person, every day seems similar to the previous one: home-work-home. Dullness and monotony are depressing and do not allow people to enjoy every moment of life. To overcome this feeling, psychologists suggest adding variety to your life by going to friends or for a walk after work. Every day we spend two to three hours on the Internet, the sofa and watching TV series that do not help a person recharge with positive emotions.

Reasons for pessimism

Scientists have been trying to understand personality traits and the impact of optimism on health for hundreds of years. Thus, according to recent research, the two main reasons for the formation of optimistic and pessimistic worldviews are:

Genetic predisposition.
Upbringing. As a rule, pessimistic views prevail in the family; parents never praise the child and constantly predict his failures in all fields.

Read more: How to learn to understand people

The experiment, conducted by London professor Tim Spector, involved identical twins. The girls grew up in the same family and in the same environment, however, one of them is cheerful and cheerful, and the second regularly experiences depressive episodes.

The professor’s goal was to answer the key question: what factors actually influence the formation of human personality and how this can be influenced. Spector was able to discover a specific set of genes that function in one girl, but are inactive in another. It turned out that only half of the differences between people are due to genetics. At the same time, external factors can activate or, conversely, weaken specific genes. The name of this process is epiginetics.

Don't look for tricks in people

Pessimistic people tend to see deception, provocation, and trickery around them.

“Did someone offer to help? Maybe he wants to trick me or wants to rip off money for this? Or maybe this someone wants to do a mischief and do the work in bad faith, so that I will be reprimanded and fired?” - a standard set of thoughts of a pessimist.

Believe me, every person has a good side, and there is no need to look for hidden meanings in this. Communicate with colleagues, make new acquaintances, do not be afraid of being deceived! Otherwise, you will remain an inveterate pessimist.

Important: be open when communicating with people, do not wear a mask. People around them highly value honesty and are drawn to such people.

Why is this necessary?

Psychology research shows that you need to be optimistic not only to feel good, but also to achieve your own goals and success. Optimists, according to research results, achieve what they want more easily, for several reasons:

They think through everything related to their desire: how to achieve their dream, how many ways there are for this, what will happen when the dream comes true, etc.
They are not afraid of a problem arising, because they know its solution or know where to put their energy to resolve troubles.
They are not afraid or ashamed of their own mistakes. Unfortunate events help them learn lessons, gain experience and move on.
Optimists try to squeeze at least a drop of good out of any situation.

Believe in yourself

Self-confident people cannot be pessimists, since any task is feasible for them, they see ways of solving it positively. Such an attitude allows you to achieve success, and in case of failure, it helps you draw conclusions and not repeat mistakes in the future. That is why you need to develop confidence in yourself and your abilities, this is achieved through gaining knowledge and playing sports.

If you are competent in any matter, then no doubts will affect your plans. For example, we all know that two and two equal four. Imagine that someone began to convince you that two and two are five, how would you react? You will be absolutely sure of the answer and will not listen to other people's opinions. This is why confidence is the key to success.

Open up to friendship

As a child, we could easily and naturally find new friends. This becomes more and more difficult to do with age. In addition, relationships with some of your existing friends deteriorate or simply become obsolete. The difference between adult relationships is the awareness of choice. We got to know each other in the sandbox, kindergarten or other places because we were forced to spend time together in the same location. But even this does not detract from the main advantage - it was easy for us to talk to a stranger and immediately start playing together.

Adults need to learn this too. For some this comes easy, for others it is a real challenge. By limiting connections, we stop developing, learning new things, and simply forget about pleasant friendly gatherings. Don’t think, we don’t encourage you to make friends with passers-by on the street. It would be strange. Today it is very easy to find friends with similar interests using the Internet. It will be both interesting and useful. Such friendship is much more sincere and honest than “forced” friendship.

It is important to know

You could observe the latter, for example, at work. When a person pretends to be friends, but in reality they hate you. Do not let such people into your personal space and try to limit communication with them.

Ronald Hubbard, mentioned at the beginning of the article, put this emotional background at 1.1 on the scale. Suspended between fear and anger, he does not openly show hostility and prefers to wear a mask. This is his defense.

Communication with such an individual can be dangerous, because for the most part they are angry and envious. But you can easily neutralize its negative impact if you identify it right away. Here are his behavioral characteristics:

starts the conversation first and tries to prevent questions from being addressed to him;
allows himself barbs and caustic remarks (he does this in a veiled manner, so it’s difficult to call it a direct insult);
will definitely respond to the remark and will not miss the opportunity to undermine your authority in the eyes of others;
constant lying, even unnecessarily;
actively collects and spreads gossip;
does not act “forward”, it is characterized by cunning combinations.

With such a friend there is no need for enemies. Just don’t let them into your life, look for real, sincere relationships and people.