Adolescence is a vulnerable period in a person’s life, giving rise to complexes. They complicate the life of a teenager, causing problems in learning and communication.
Adults evaluate this condition differently. Some people believe that the causes of childhood experiences are not worth attention; they will grow up and everything will pass. Others tend to exaggerate the problem.
The truth is in the middle - knowledge of teenage psychology will allow parents to build the right line of behavior and help children more easily survive the crisis of growing up.
Why do teenagers develop complexes?
- Physiological changes in the body are accompanied by unpleasant manifestations for a teenager. The face and figure change, the voice breaks, and primary sexual characteristics appear. The teenager does not have time to accept himself and get used to the changes.
- Age-related characteristics of the psyche - a teenager is prone to self-criticism, maximalism, and exaggeration of shortcomings. The desire to be like an idol and not living up to it leads to disappointment.
- First love , often unrequited. Without receiving a reciprocal feeling, a boy or girl considers himself worse than others, attaching great importance to external data.
- Lack of friends , ridicule of peers, inability to stand up for oneself give rise to uncertainty, alienation and isolation.
Symptomatic picture
The inferiority complex has a huge impact on the personality development of a young individual. One of the main signs of this problem is low self-esteem and a constant feeling of being flawed and worse than others, accompanied by self-doubt.
This complex originates in childhood as a result of upbringing and social contacts with other people. This disadvantage affects children who grew up in a dysfunctional family or unwanted children who, from childhood, do not feel the support and love of adults. Symptoms :
- greater criticism of one's actions;
- strong reaction to criticism;
- dependence on other people's opinions;
- exaggerated self-confidence in appearance;
- aggression as protection from the whole world;
- unsociable and in most cases are introverts.
In 80% of teenagers, the superiority complex is a hidden inferiority complex; the person himself either carefully hides it or does not even realize it. Such a child considers himself indispensable, constantly teaches and gives unsolicited advice in one area or another, even if he doesn’t understand it well. The individual tries to prove to the world around him and to himself that he is cool. He hides his insecurity and anger behind the humiliation of other people, trying to increase his self-esteem.
Trying to help, parents unknowingly develop complexes in their children.
The financial complex directly depends on the level of income of the parents. Children often brag about their fathers' and mothers' salaries, cool things at home, expensive gifts and luxurious holidays abroad. If the family cannot afford any of this, then the child may have complexes about the financial situation of his family. This does not always happen: it all depends on the attitude of the little person to the problem and the reaction of the parents to possible ridicule about this. For example, there are often caustic phrases addressed to a child without a phone from his peers who have mobile phones.
The complex of an excellent student or excellent student begins to develop at school, when the spirit of competition, the thirst for victory and the desire to be first take possession of children. The culprits of this complex are parents and teachers, as a result of which a person always sets a high bar for himself when performing something. In addition, such children have inflated demands on themselves and others. A teenager with a deficiency becomes very aggressive when he cannot perform a task perfectly or meet the standard he sets for himself. These people are often uncontrollable and enter early adulthood with drugs, alcohol and sex.
The complex of unrequited love becomes temporary and rarely develops into a permanent one. During adolescence, children look not only for themselves, but also for people who understand them. One of these people is your significant other. As adults, we realize that first love is not always mutual and does not have to be the same for life. But teenagers do not always understand this; they are characterized by youthful maximalism.
And when a child experiences unrequited love for the first time, he thinks that something is wrong with him. This behavior turns into children's complexes about appearance or a lack of finances is revealed. Many guys begin to engage in soul-searching, as a result of which they discover many other shortcomings and problems in themselves.
Can complexes be beneficial?
The term “inferiority complex” was introduced into scientific circulation by the Austrian psychologist Adolf Adler, who, due to illness in childhood, experienced a similar condition and considered himself unsuccessful. He believed that complexes are useful because they force one to overcome negative traits, stimulate them to compensate for shortcomings with something else, and lead to personal development.
Modern child psychologists agree with Adler and believe that complexes teach one to work on oneself, to understand, accept and love oneself, and not to give in to difficulties.
Types of complexes
In addition to a teenager’s worries about his appearance, when he is not satisfied with one or more parts of his body, an inferiority complex and a superiority complex are very popular in adolescence, which are often an attempt to hide their real condition. Experts also say that children often suffer because of the financial situation of their family. During school years, children often experience an excellent student/excellent student complex. Sometimes there is a so-called unrequited love complex.
School grade syndrome
Physical complexes that are associated with appearance are very popular among children and teenagers. When a child looks in the mirror, he finds many shortcomings and flaws in himself. He doesn't understand at this age that no one can be perfect. And all the flaws in appearance negatively affect his self-esteem. This especially happens during puberty, when the body is still physically changing:
- growth will increase sharply;
- pimples, acne, blackheads and blackheads appear, which especially have a terrifying effect on girls;
- The guys' voices break, which also does not increase self-confidence.
A flaw in appearance can easily be glasses, any speech impediment, a long nose or protruding ears, braces and much more. The development of such a complex is helped by the lack of support from adults and the ridicule of friends.
Complexes in children regarding rejection of their appearance are called dysmorphophobia and have certain signs.
- Mirror symptom – the child constantly examines himself in front of the mirror and finds new flaws.
- Obsession - the teenager becomes fixated on his problem and constantly talks about it.
- A symptom of photography is the child’s personality’s dislike of his photographs and reluctance to be photographed.
- Wears bag-like clothes in dark colors that hide his figure.
- Apathy, disturbances in sleep and eating patterns.
- Inability to concentrate on any activity because the brain is fixated on a problem.
How to help your child
A child suffering from complexes has low self-esteem. The actions of adults should be aimed at increasing it.
- Don't downplay childhood experiences and expect them to go away on their own.
- Talk to your child frankly and confidentially, give examples from your experience growing up.
- Don't avoid difficult or taboo topics if your teen has an interest in them.
- Focus your child’s attention on the strengths of his appearance, behavior, and abilities, suggesting how to level out his shortcomings. For example, the use of clothing, cosmetics, and sports.
- Help develop your teen's personality traits that can enable them to achieve success and feel valued. Together, choose a suitable club or sports section.
- Do not compare him with other children, emphasize his individuality, accept his peers, do not criticize them.
Overcoming teenage complexes is the key to success in adult life.
General description of the problem
During puberty and high hormonal activity, a teenager is very vulnerable to criticism of his appearance, as a result of which temporary teenage complexes are formed that can remain forever with an adult, so it is very important to notice the problem in time and begin to eliminate it, you can also ask for help from relatives or consult a psychologist.
The consequences of the influence of the problem on a psychologically unformed person can be tragic. Often children begin to use alcohol and drugs, engage in casual sex, finding many unacceptable ways to assert themselves among friends and feel like an adult.
They react very sharply to criticism of appearance
Teenagers withdraw into themselves and begin to lead an antisocial way of life or become very open and daring, throwing tantrums and scandals to adults. Some go into the world of computer games. All this is done either for self-affirmation among peers, or for recognition among adult family members. Very often in adolescence, relatives do not take the child seriously, but he wants to prove his right to an opinion. Many children often suffer from the fact that adults do not take them into account or even listen.
Teenage girls have the hardest time
When girls look at the acquired roundness, it may seem to them that the body has become like the moon. This is why in the first years of modeling “adult” proportions, a healthy perception of the new figure is so important. You must help your daughter. Even if she had adequate self-esteem as a child, she may now think that everything has gotten out of control. Your opinion is intended to correct the situation.
For some girls, when their body changes during puberty, in addition to rounding their hips and growing mammary glands, their sides bulge or a tummy appears. This is a normal situation, and a figure can acquire the desired slimness only by the age of 17-18.
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Compensation reaction
This is the desire to compensate for your weakness and failure in one area with success in another. A sickly, frail, physically weak boy, an object of ridicule in physical education lessons, unable to stand up for himself in a fight, compensates for himself with excellent academic success and amazes with his encyclopedic knowledge in areas of interest to his comrades. As a result, they are forced to recognize his certain authority. Conversely, difficulties in learning can be compensated for by reckless “brave” behavior, leadership in mischief, i.e. cause behavior problems.
When should you sound the alarm?
Teenagers are a special category of people: quite secretive and withdrawn, they do not want to discuss their problems, especially with their parents. Firstly, teenagers are not confident in the sincerity of their relatives, knowing in advance that their parents will convince them otherwise; secondly, adolescence no longer recognizes the authority of their parents as indisputable. They are often guided by the opinions of their peers or the canons of fashion.
However, it is parents who have the best chance of noticing complexes in a teenager in a timely manner and helping to cope with them.
First of all, you need to recognize that there is a problem. Moms and dads should be wary in the following cases:
- The child refuses to be photographed or tries to stand behind his peers in photographs.
- The teenager avoids looking in the mirror or, conversely, looks at himself for a long time without visible satisfaction.
- Often touches his face with his hands.
- Starts to wear things of unclear cut to hide his shortcomings.
- A teenager very often pays attention to certain elements of other people’s appearance (nose, chest, height, legs, etc.).
- The child shows signs of depression: refusal to eat, sleep disturbance, apathy, reluctance to communicate with friends.
Methods of disposal
The first who can help a child with the fight against complexes are his parents. During the difficult period of growing up, children should feel the support of their relatives, their willingness to listen and help with advice. And parents are also advised to listen to the opinion of their son or daughter and not show that their children are not mature enough to help them with solving family problems.
Teenage girls have complexes about their appearance more often than boys. Therefore, if you see that your daughter doesn’t like her appearance, be sure to help her choose a new style of clothing, change her hair or makeup. It is better to take your child to a beauty salon. It happens that a child invents problems with his appearance, then it is best to have a session with a psychologist to increase self-esteem.
To cope with the complex, you need to carefully discuss this problem with your child. Find out what worries him, what emotions he experiences.
Most likely, a certain situation that became a psychological trauma led to the emergence of a complex.
If the complex is associated with external shortcomings, help the teenager hide it or skillfully emphasize it so that it becomes his highlight. If the cause was someone you know, it is necessary for the child to forgive him for the insult and stop attaching strong importance to this person’s words.
Limit selfies
Teenagers actively use social networks, where they like to post their own photos, and are literally infected with the craze for “selfies.”
Limit this desire. When your daughter starts looking at her older, slimmer friends, she will develop an inferiority complex. Not long ago, scientists discovered a pattern: the more often teenage girls look at photos of friends on social networks, the worse they feel. Hint to your daughter that it would be nice to display photos of your own creative works, links to your favorite songs or videos, and wise aphorisms for everyone to see. Be a good example for your daughter: limit your own time spent communicating on social media.
