The main stages of personal self-improvement
Self-development in psychology is an individual process that each person goes through in his own way. However, in psychology there are general stages of self-improvement:
- need for change;
- idea of the ideal “I”;
- searching for your strengths and weaknesses;
- drawing up a plan to achieve the goal;
- direct actions.
Need for change
Everyone comes to the understanding that change is needed in their own way. The higher the level of awareness, the easier it is to do this. How to understand that you need to reach the next level:
- It seems to you that life has lost its logic, the behavior of others has become strange. Perhaps you are not a model of adequacy. You are thrown from side to side.
- Feeling like a stagnant swamp. You don't feel the taste of life. Routine and everyday life cause apathy. It seems to you that you are falling back and losing your skills.
- Procrastination is constantly putting off necessary, important things. Instead of working, you hang out on your phone and are constantly distracted from the task at hand. It is difficult for you to start and complete any business.
- A vague feeling of dissatisfaction with oneself, the environment, life. At first glance, everything is fine, and you should be happy, but something is constantly oppressing you and doesn’t suit you.
It’s not easy to immediately realize that it’s time to reach a new level, but our subconscious mind actively helps with this, signaling in different ways.
Idea of the ideal "I"
The next step after realizing that change is overdue is understanding what exactly you want to achieve. At this stage it is necessary to set goals.
It is important to understand what you really want. It’s not just a big income, but the purpose of obtaining finance is to buy a car or a house, travel, or open a business.
Finding strengths and weaknesses
When you decide on the “ideal”, sort yourself out. What do you need to achieve your goal?
It is important to understand that the presence of deficiencies is considered normal. You should not consider yourself worse than others. Consider this stage as a kind of revision that helps you understand what is preventing you from being happy.
Any disadvantage can be worked out and turned into an advantage. Critical thinking will allow you to understand how you can use personal qualities. You are too meticulous and slow; there are many areas of activity where this is a key skill. Don't be afraid to change yourself, your lifestyle, your job, your hobbies.
Drawing up an action plan
Having decided on your desires, strengths and weaknesses, make a clear plan. What exactly needs to be done and how long it will take. Break the path into small sections, this will make it easier to move forward.
Trainings, video lessons, and psychotherapy sessions will come to your aid. Find out more about people who have achieved success.
Active actions
When you have a complete understanding of the goal and methods of achieving it, do not procrastinate. Active actions are the key to success.
Study more materials on a topic of interest, communicate with like-minded people, and turn your plans into reality.
Without practical action, knowledge will not be useful. Ignore people who discourage you or doubt your success. If criticism from others interferes, try to change your social circle.
Avoid envious, constantly complaining, angry people. They will try to “pull” you back. Communicate with those who have already achieved what you want or have moved further along this path. Charge yourself with positivity.
Psychology of problems
Title: Mikhail Labkovsky “I want and will: Accept yourself, love life and become happy.”
The book is quite easy and quick to read. Using simple phrases and examples, the author teaches readers to look for any root causes. Labkovsky examines the reasons from a psychological point of view and assures that every person in this world can be happy if he wants to. With specific examples, the author shows where fears, anxieties, self-doubt and other ailments come from.
Advice from experts: the path to self-development
Most advice related to personal growth comes down to a new organization of personal time, space and attitude towards oneself and the world. They can be reduced to the following universal scheme:
- Normalization of sleep. Quality sleep is the key to energy and desire to live. To feel comfortable, an adult needs 6–9 hours. It is important to go to bed earlier, since the most productive rest occurs from 22.00 to 2.00 am. Healthy sleep is very important, because your well-being and strength directly depend on it.
- Making time for personal interests. Coaches advise setting aside an hour of morning time for yourself. You don’t need to spend it on cooking breakfast or showering. Spend this hour thinking about the day ahead or doing yoga, going for a morning run to your favorite music, reading an interesting book - activities that bring pleasure.
- Positive thinking. Don’t dwell on the negative, don’t chew the gum of bad memories, anger, resentment, envy. You have a right to these feelings. They are natural, but they need to be forgotten and transformed. You need to draw conclusions from any unpleasant situation and leave it in the past. It will take 21 days to develop a new way of thinking. It takes so long to form a habit. Psychologists advise wearing an elastic band or bracelet on your wrist. When you start to get stuck on negative emotions, lightly hit yourself with them. Start a new 21 days without anger report. For convenience, you can set small goals for three days or a week.
- Smile. Smile at the reflection, your interlocutor, and the people around you. This increases the level of endorphins in the blood and facilitates communication.
- Prioritization. A very important point in the process of personal development. Only by separating the wheat from the chaff can you direct your strength in the right direction. Determine what is more important at this stage. What needs to be done now and what can wait. Understand what you are striving for. Break a large goal into several small ones. Take your time to reach each of them. Without knowing yourself, your true desires, it is impossible to move forward and develop. Keeping a diary and meditation helps you understand yourself better.
- Planning. Make it a rule to devote your weekend evening to summing up the results of the week. Praise yourself for your successes and deal with your mistakes. Plan for the coming week. Set yourself small goals and the same deadlines.
My brain is the producer of my soul
Title: John Kehoe “The subconscious can do anything.”
If you want to feel like a wizard and get all the benefits of the world that you deserve, then this simple book is for you. It lays out in simple language how to become successful, rich, and happy. For many, these are banal phrases simply because they don’t want to believe it. And they don't want to start. But you are a different person. If you've stumbled upon these best self-help books, then you're ready. And they are yours. All.
You can download self-development books for free on Telegram from the bot @flibustafreebookbot . The library contains a huge number of books for every taste in different formats.
How to develop critical thinking?
Critical thinking means the ability to independently analyze information and form your own opinion based on it. An individual is capable of thinking critically and is able to calmly argue his position; he respects the opinions of others even if they do not coincide with his.
This type of thinking allows you to analyze the situation more fully and make independent decisions. People with an open type of thinking are more difficult to manipulate and impose views and values on them. To develop critical thinking you need to:
- Metacognition. In other words, self-knowledge is the ability to look at yourself from the outside, analyze your actions and feelings.
- Deduction. It will help you make decisions, analyze actions and situations. Treat the problem like a math problem. Take indisputable facts as axioms, logically reasoning, refute or confirm arguments for or against. Consider the opposing point of view.
- Check sources of information. Having received information, strive to find confirmation of it in authoritative sources or through practical means. Don't take everything you read or hear for granted.
- Make lists or block diagrams of all possible scenarios. Visualization helps to quickly understand controversial issues and find a solution.
- Try to get rid of fear, it prevents you from looking at the situation objectively.
- Follow the rule that there are 5 universal steps to solve a problem - preparation, studying the problem, identifying solution options, choosing one of them, evaluating the results.
The ability to look at a situation objectively and form an objective opinion about it is an important stage on the path to self-improvement. Critical thinking is useful in solving business issues and social relationships.
Time management!
Title: Brian Moran, Michael Lennington "12 weeks a year."
The best book on time management that will help you not put off your diet “until Monday” and your cleaning “until next month.” Simple rules from the best business coaches will help you plan your time correctly and spend it profitably.
High and low self-esteem
A person who has embarked on the path of self-development and self-improvement must be able to objectively evaluate himself. Normal self-esteem allows you to look critically at the situation, find weaknesses and strengthen them. People with low and high self-esteem are like two sides of the same coin. They are united by fear of criticism, dependence on the opinions of others, and envy.
Inflated self-esteem is characterized by:
- An arrogant attitude towards others, manifested in isolation and detachment.
- Such a person considers himself right. He imposes his point of view as the only possible one. He loves to teach, educate, and assert himself.
- It is difficult for such an individual to ask for help or apologize.
No matter how a person positions himself, it is important for him what others think about him - parents, neighbors, friends, colleagues. He needs to stay at a high level and not lose face. This leads to setting inflated goals. If results are not achieved, depression develops.
Low self-esteem is characterized by:
- Inability to make decisions, shifting responsibility onto someone else's shoulders.
- Constant dissatisfaction with oneself, appearance, mental abilities. At the same time, the person does not strive to change anything and rejects advice and help.
- Such people like to press on pity and demonstratively engage in self-flagellation if it brings dividends.
- An individual with low self-esteem blames others and the state for his troubles.
- Frequent attacks of non-verbal aggression, attempts to take revenge on the weak.
A person with low self-esteem needs approval; he constantly focuses on the opinions of others. He is ready to give up his own interests for the sake of approval from his environment.
For myself
Title: Vadim Zeland “Transurfing of Reality”.
You can start reading Zeland a huge number of times, constantly abandoning his books about self-development. You need to be prepared for what is written there. It is important to accept yourself with all your problems and have a great (!) desire to change something in your life. The author shares basic tips that can change everyone.
How to increase self-esteem?
Working on yourself also means increasing your level of self-esteem, if required. First, make a list of advantages. Try not to be too critical of yourself. Let there be few points in it.
Re-read it regularly, reminding yourself of your strengths. Try to supplement it regularly.
Remember that there is no specific standard that must be met. Look for what is truly good for you. Spend more time on introspection and reflection.
Visualize a situation that makes you nervous. Play it out in your imagination in the smallest detail. This technique helps you feel confident before important meetings.
A confident person is full of strength, he does not fuss or get nervous over trifles. Take care of your health, try to get enough sleep, take a course of multivitamins. If you have difficulty coping with stress, take anti-anxiety medications.
Set priorities, do not sacrifice time and energy to please others. You have the right to manage your life independently.
Try playing actor. Act confident, even if you feel differently.
Why can't I find myself
Title: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie.
In his book, Carnegie touches on the burning questions of a person who does not know how to get out of his comfort zone. The author examines questions about finding oneself in this world. He teaches you not to worry about anything anymore in order to start living normally. The book will answer most of the questions that the lost reader is looking for.
Agni Yoga
Title: Elena Ivanovna Roerich-Agni Yoga. Living wisdom (collection).
The books contain a huge number of teachings that help you think not only about the meaning of human life, but also find answers to your questions: yesterday, today, tomorrow. These are truly worthwhile and best self-development books and real treasures that only those who believe in themselves can comprehend.
The truth between the lines
Title: Vladimir Serkin “Shaman’s Laughter”.
A rather strange book for spiritual growth and self-knowledge, which may not work the first time. At first it seems that the author is describing routine actions from the life of a shaman. And why does the reader need to know all this? But, diving deeper, it comes to the realization that this book must be read between the lines. And in the simplest explanations lies the deepest truth.
