Functions, types and methods of listening. Listening is a professionally significant skill for a journalist.

Active listening methods are designed to improve the perception of spoken speech, allow you to correctly grasp the meaning of what is said, position the interlocutor, and build a dialogue according to your own rules. Often used by psychologists in therapy sessions, sales managers or negotiators.

Active listening.

What is active listening

Active listening is a method of communication that is characterized by:

• engage in the conversation as much as possible;
• deeply grasp the meaning of what was said, focus on the words of the interlocutor;
• do not be distracted by your thoughts, abstract from extraneous sensations;
• establish trusting contact with the second participant in the conversation using verbal and non-verbal techniques.

Empathic perception of speech improves the quality of communication, allows you to take the conversation in the right direction or achieve understanding in controversial issues. It is important not only to listen to your interlocutor, but also to correctly comprehend his words and highlight the main thing.

The authorship of the methodology belongs to the Soviet family and child psychologist Yu. B. Gippenreiter. She described the importance of active listening for communication and building close relationships with children and resolving conflicts in the family.

Active listening technique.

Over time, techniques began to be used in other areas to quickly establish contact with an interlocutor:

• in psychological counseling, group therapy;
• in business communication;
• in sales;
• in pedagogy, journalism;
• in the work of the Ministry of Emergency Situations, the police (when communicating with victims of emergency situations, victims).

Kinds

In the characteristics of active listening, there are 2 types: male and female. Their differences:

1. Application area. The male type technique is used in business communication, negotiations, corporate discussions, the female type - in psychology, family relationships, dialogues with loved ones or children.
2. Method of perception of information. The masculine is characterized by a rational analysis of what is said, while the feminine is distinguished by emotionality, sympathy and involvement in the experiences of the interlocutor.
3. Empathy in the first case is aimed at understanding the meaning of speech, in the second - at establishing trust.
4. Techniques used: moderate criticism, leading questions, clarification in the male type versus reflection of feelings, retelling in the female type.

Basic techniques of active listening.

Non-reflective listening

There is the least interference in speech during a conversation with the greatest concentration on it. By silently listening, without interfering in the conversation with one’s own statements, a person facilitates the process of transferring knowledge to another. This way the essence of the transmitted information is better absorbed and the meaning of the words is captured. A significant indicator of this listening may be a bodily reaction, such as a nod or head movement.

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Non-reflective listening during the communication process allows a participant who has difficulties in expressing himself (shyness, indecisiveness, stuttering, etc.) to concentrate and calmly express his opinion. It is also effective in a conversation with a person when he needs to express his life position or free himself from emotions.

Active Listening Technique

The basis of the technique is live participation in dialogue, in which it is necessary not only to hear the spoken word, but also to perceive intonation, mood, facial expression or gestures.

Active listening excludes:

1. Value judgments, criticism. Empathic communication is based on unconditional acceptance of the interlocutor, which proves to the person his own importance and encourages him to continue the conversation.
2. Absent-mindedness, lack of interest. In a conversation, you cannot withdraw into yourself or turn away, even if the topic of the conversation is not close. Openness and counter questions help to win over your opponent.
3. Imposing your opinion. It is important to respect the views of another person, express disagreement correctly, without judgment, and not interrupt.
4. Irritation, aggression. The technique does not work in a conflict situation when the interlocutors are opposed to each other. Effective dialogue requires a calm, friendly attitude.

Structure of active listening techniques.

Under what circumstances is this method of listening necessary?

The essence of unreflective listening is the absence of active participation in the conversation. Accordingly, this method of communication is appropriate in circumstances in which reflective listening is not required.

As a rule, you just need to listen to the other person if he:

• wants to explain his attitude to something or indicate a political position, talk about religion;
• seeks to discuss acute, topical issues or family problems, conflicts at work;
• trying to complain or share joy.

In addition, non-reflective listening is also necessary at work, regardless of the person’s field of activity. For example, this type of communication is the best when it comes to conversations with managers and bosses. Listening skills are also required during negotiations. When it is important to correctly understand the goals and intentions of business partners or to predict the methods that competitors will use, the ability to perceive information non-reflexively is very useful.

Basic methods

The following active listening tools are recommended:

1. Take a break in the conversation: fall silent for 1-2 minutes to think about what was said, exhale, abstract from your thoughts, feelings and tune in to the emotions of the second participant in the dialogue.
2. Repeat the last words of the interlocutor with a clarifying or interrogative intonation. This helps you focus on the conversation, show interest and attention. However, frequent use of this method causes irritation and looks like a mockery.
3. To rephrase. A short retelling of the opponent’s monologue improves understanding: he hears himself from the outside, clarifies or explains if he was misunderstood.
4. Talk about feelings. A person speaks about the interlocutor’s emotions as he understands them or perceives them non-verbally (“I see it’s hard for you to remember this”, “This makes you happy”, etc.), and also talks about his own feelings during a conversation (“It’s hard for you to talk about this” talk”, “It’s nice that you said this”, etc.).
5. Clarify, ask. Eliminates understatement, speculation, and incorrect conclusions.
6. Continue the thought. Having caught the message, the person completes the thought started by the interlocutor. This makes the participants in the dialogue feel understood.
7. Summarize. Conclusions at the end of a conversation or after a monologue help to place emphasis and highlight the main thoughts.

It is important to use active listening skills moderately in dialogue. When such techniques are introduced, the conversation turns out to be insincere, the interlocutor feels tension and withdraws.

Active listening techniques.

Types and techniques of listening

Author : Sergey Dokholyan, Professor of the Department of Management, Dagestan State University

Source : Elitarium.ru

It is more pleasant for each of us to communicate not with the person who knows how to speak, but with the one who knows how to listen to us. Research shows that no more than 10% of people know how to listen to their interlocutor. Learn the most important techniques for empathic listening and tact.

One of the most important moments in any listening is the moment of feedback, thanks to which the interlocutor gets the feeling that he is not speaking into emptiness, but with a living person who listens and understands him. Moreover, in any statement there are at least two content levels: an informational level and an emotional level. In this case, feedback can also be of two types - a reflection of information and a reflection of the speaker’s feelings.

The following listening techniques can be distinguished.

1. Deaf silence (visible lack of reaction).

2. Assent.

3. “Echo reaction” - repeating the last word of the interlocutor.

4. “Mirror” - repeating the last phrase of the interlocutor with a change in word order.

5. “Paraphrase” - conveying the content of a partner’s statement in other words.

6. Motivation.

7. Clarifying questions.

8. Leading questions.

9. Ratings, advice.

10. Continuation (when the listener intervenes in the speech and tries to complete the phrase, suggests words).

11. Emotions.

12. Irrelevant statements (not relevant or related only formally).

13. Logical consequences from the partner’s statements, for example, assumptions about the cause of the event.

14. “Rude reactions.”

15. Questioning (asks question after question without explaining the purpose).

16. Disdain for the partner (does not pay attention to his words, does not listen, ignores the partner, his words).

Typically, there are 3 beats in listening:

• support;
• clarification;
• commenting.

During support, the main goal is to enable a person to express his position; appropriate reactions of the listener at this stage are silence, assent, “echo,” emotional “accompaniment.”

In the process of clarifying the goal: to make sure that you correctly understood the interlocutor, for this purpose clarifying, leading questions are asked, and a paraphrase is made.

When commenting, the listener expresses his opinion about what he heard: gives advice, assessments, comments.

The following types of listening are distinguished: passive listening, active listening, empathic listening.

With active listening, reflection of information comes to the fore. The most common techniques that characterize active listening are constant clarification of the correct understanding of the information that the interlocutor wants to convey to you, using clarifying questions.

Active listening techniques only work when you take into account the situation, the content of the conversation and the emotional state of the interlocutor. Active listening only makes sense when your partner is at least your equal. It happens, however, that you have to listen to a person who is in a state of emotional affect, in a state of strong emotional arousal, and in this case the techniques of active listening will not work. Your interlocutor is not in the literal sense an interlocutor, he is just a person who does not control his emotions and is not able to grasp the content of the conversation. He needs only one thing - to calm down, to come to a state of normal self-control, only after that can you communicate with him on equal terms. In such cases, so-called passive listening works effectively.

In this case, it is important to just listen to the person, just let him know that he is not alone, that you listen to him, understand and are ready to support him. The so-called “uh-huh reactions” work best in this case.

The fact is that a person’s emotional state is like a pendulum: having reached the highest point of emotional intensity, a person begins to “descend”, calm down, then the strength of his feelings increases again, reaching the highest point, falls again, etc. If you do not interfere with this process, do not “swing” the pendulum additionally, then, having spoken out, the person will calm down and, having felt this, you can already communicate with him normally.

Every person wants to be understood and to share with him the feelings and experiences that he experiences. Therefore, the main thing is to understand the feelings of the interlocutor and empathize with him. And the secret of good listening is to give the other person relief, to open new ways for him to understand himself.

Thus, empathic listening allows you to experience the same feelings that the interlocutor is experiencing, reflect these feelings, understand the emotional state of the interlocutor and share it. When listening empathically, they do not give advice, do not seek to evaluate the speaker, do not moralize, do not criticize, do not lecture. Rules for Empathic Listening:

1. You need to tune in to listening: forget about your problems for a while, free your soul from your own experiences and try to distance yourself from ready-made attitudes and prejudices about your interlocutor. Only in this case can you understand what your interlocutor feels, “see” his emotions.

2. In your reaction to your partner’s words, you must accurately reflect the experience, feeling, emotion behind his statement, but do it in such a way as to demonstrate to your interlocutor that his feeling is not only correctly understood, but also accepted by you.

3. It is necessary to pause. After your answer, the interlocutor usually needs to be silent and think. Remember that this time belongs to him, do not bother him with your additional considerations, explanations, clarifications. A pause is necessary for a person to understand his experience.

4. It must be remembered that empathic listening is not an interpretation of the secret motives of his behavior hidden from the interlocutor. You just need to reflect your partner’s feeling, but not explain to him the reason for this feeling.

5. In cases where the partner is excited, when the conversation develops in such a way that the partner speaks “without closing his mouth,” and your conversation is already quite confidential, it is not at all necessary to answer with detailed phrases, it is enough to simply support the partner with interjections, short phrases, nod your head or repeat his last words.

6. It makes sense to use the empathic listening technique only when a person himself wants to share some experiences.

Rules for active listening

Language techniques must be supplemented with non-verbal means of transmitting information. The following instruments of unconscious interaction are distinguished:

• eye contact - direct gaze shows confidence, tells what emotions the interlocutor is experiencing;
• comfort zone - by leaning forward during a conversation, a person shows interest, but hanging over someone so that the distance is less than 40-50 cm is not recommended;
• feedback - the dialogue involves the active participation of both parties (answers to questions, words of support, assent, head nods);
• mirroring - repetition of a pose or gesture is subconsciously perceived as similarity;
• withstand your opponent’s emotions - treat negativity or irritation calmly, but with participation;
• facial expressions - a friendly smile, a cheerful voice evoke a friendly reaction.

Rules for active listening.

When is this listening method appropriate? Examples of life situations

There is a fairly widespread opinion that the scope of use of non-reflective listening is psychology, all kinds of special training, and in ordinary life there is no place for this method of perceiving information. This belief is wrong. There are quite a lot of situations in which this type of listening is appropriate in everyday life.

For example, if people are friends, communicate closely and one of them develops severe stress or depression, then, as a rule, this person needs a listener, and not an adviser or critic. In other words, a person only wants to complain about the “evil boss”, “stupid wife”, talk about how bad everything is in his life, and not listen to someone’s “valuable thoughts” or “good advice”. That is, if a friend wants to pour out his soul, there is no need to try to explain to him how to get out of the current situation or show doubts about what was said, point out the advantages of the speaker’s situation. You just have to listen.

No less common is the situation when women complain to their friends about their husbands or children. In this case, the speaker’s desire is to complain itself, and not to listen to the assessments and opinions of her friends. Moreover, in such a conversation, exclusively non-reflective, passive listening and rare consoling phrases are appropriate, and only if any question is asked. If, for example, you agree with a woman who scolds her children or other family members, you may encounter her indignation, resentment, and simply lose your friend. And attempts to convince her otherwise and describe the positive qualities of those whom the woman criticizes will lead to a new round of complaints, making the conversation almost endless.

It is a mistake to believe that a professional non-reflective manner of perceiving information is the lot of only psychotherapists. Examples of unreflective listening to a person in the line of duty can be found almost everywhere. Let's say the postman brings a pension to an elderly person's house. While the necessary documents are being filled out, the pensioner says something, complains, reports on the economic situation in the country, or talks about something else. Of course, the postman is completely indifferent to this stream of chaotic information, but he is not able to force the old man to remain silent. The only option left is unreflective listening. This method of communication also works effectively in shops, bars, and hairdressers. In other words, an example of professional practical application of this option for perceiving information can be observed wherever forced communication with people takes place.

Exercises for development

The skill is developed in group classes or trainings on communication techniques. You can master the technique on your own, just practice daily when talking with different people.

The following exercises are recommended:

1. Carefully delve into the other person’s speech, while trying to avoid thoughts that do not relate to the topic of the conversation.
2. In the dialogue, one person talks about the past day, the second uses linguistic and non-verbal methods of active listening, and develops the conversation. It is important to grasp the emotions of the interlocutor and name them correctly. Then the first participant shares his impressions (which techniques were used, which did not work, which caused rejection).
3. 3 people participate. Everyone reads different texts out loud at the same time, and each participant needs to hear and understand the meaning of what two other people read.
4. A group of people is given sheets of paper with the beginning of a phrase written on it, which the participant should read out loud and continue his thought freely (invent or tell the truth). The rest determine by his speech and facial expressions whether the story was true. The task teaches you to express sincerity in different ways.

Active listening techniques.

Reflective Listening Technique: Summary

This article completes the mini-cycle dedicated to the development of competent (psychotherapeutic) listening skills in everyday communication. Other articles in this series: “Echo” technique or say, I hear you,” “Reflective listening technique: paraphrasing.”

What is “summarizing” and why is it needed? Summarizing is when the listener, after the interlocutor has finished speaking, summarizes what the interlocutor said. This summary is a very short story (brief summary) that includes the main

1. thoughts,
2. feelings,

expressed by the interlocutor. Out of habit, it may seem that summarizing is either an extremely complicated thing or something unnatural. However, real and wild “monsters of communication” found in nature master this technique, without even knowing what psychologists call it. Who are these communication monsters? Our beloved grandmothers, mothers, older sisters, brothers, good teachers. Those people who can be called “psychologists by vocation.” What is one of the secrets that we always enjoy communicating with them? That we strive to tell them our stories again and again? They, without knowing it, every time our supply of speech runs out, use the “Summary” technique. Why does summarizing have such a beneficial (psychotherapeutic) effect on our interlocutors? There are two considerations here.

First: “One head is good, but two are better.”

When you retell someone else's story, replacing words with synonyms, and speech patterns with other, also synonymous speech patterns, a strange thing happens. New meanings are born! New frontiers are opening up! Mysteries are solved by themselves and dark corners are illuminated. A linearly told story gains volume and stereoscopicity. A chaotic monologue acquires logic and meaning. So why is one head good and two better? Because the second head can apply the summarization technique - and for the first head everything will fall into place.

Second: “Screen my life!” or “I was born to sculpt you to your height”!

Every person dreams of leaving their mark - this is embedded in us on an unconscious level. He dreams of hearing the echo of his voice when it has finished. (As an option: to see your own face drawn by a living artist, and not to see your own face, but filmed on a soulless “digital”...) Roughly speaking, every person dreams of being created based on the materials of his life (option: a current love drama) a work of art: they made a film, a TV series, wrote a novel in two volumes - like Gone with the Wind. Or at least they showed a story about him on the news. And let everyone cry. Or, at worst, they took an interview in a regional newspaper and attached at least a bad photograph to the material... Everyone wants their “five minutes of fame.” Although it is better, of course, eternity, like Pushkin, but everyone wants and demands five minutes of fame.

That's why…

Therefore, when you summarize the story that has just been told to you in your own (different!) words, you are already acting as a writer, journalist, interpreter. Look what a miracle it turns out to be. The two just talked. And now... From “ seemingly nothing ”, “ quite something ” has already been created. PLOT. STORY. STORY. And the creator of all this is you. Your summary is nothing more than a DRAFT, SKETCH, PLEIN-AIR SKETCH of a future novel “about the life of this person.” A vague promise of a film adaptation... At least, your interlocutor, having heard your summary, at least hopes that you will not immediately forget the story you told, that it will stay in your head. That you will not delete it as spam and will retell it to someone else. Let me clarify: the interlocutor hopes - on an unconscious level. On a conscious level, on the contrary, he wants and insists that this story will not be made public by you. But which of us writes “Secret Diaries” without ever turning to the Imaginary Reader?! Using the summarizing technique, you can tell as a summary:

1. A relevant anecdote that sums up the situation
2. parable
3. plot from a book or movie,
4. a story from the life of your friends.

But when improvising using the “Summary” technique, remember that:

1. Your resume should be short,
2. always appropriate (especially if it is an anecdote or someone else’s story!) If you doubt the complete appropriateness of the story you are telling, remain silent.
3. Do not contain advice, notations or evaluations. You can’t your resume with words like: “Since I always said that you are a fool and don’t know how to choose men, this happened this time too. In general, you met another idiot who...”
4. the resume should contain figures of speech that are typical for the speech of your interlocutor. Especially try to include in your resume unusual, rare words, jargon that your interlocutor likes to use. But don’t overuse it so as not to look funny.

Learn to communicate - by listening and saying the right things at the right time!

Elena Nazarenko

© — psychological portal

Summary

Summarizing is a reformulation technique that is used to summarize not a single phrase, but a significant part of a story or an entire conversation as a whole. The basic rule for formulating a resume is that it should be extremely simple and understandable.

This technique is quite applicable in long conversations, where it helps to organize fragments of conversation into a semantic unity. It gives the listener confidence in accurately perceiving the speaker's message and at the same time helps the speaker understand how well he managed to convey his thoughts.

For example, introductory phrases could be:

• “I listened to you carefully. Let me check if I understood you correctly...” (or: “This is how I understood what happened to you...”);
• “If I now summarize what you said, then...”;
• “From your story I drew the following conclusions...”

Next, in literally two or three phrases, you retell to your partner what he told you for five to ten minutes. At the same time, you note the key moments of its history, but select the most concise form for this. If the client in our example had immediately chosen the second, more complete option for presenting his problem, the summary of this story might have looked something like this: “This is what I understood from your story. After yesterday's quarrel, your son did not spend the night at home. You are worried about him, and you would like to improve your relationship with him. You would like to discuss with me how to improve the situation and strengthen your relationship in the future. Do I understand you correctly?

Naturally, this is not the only option. The psychologist could focus on the quarrel and its consequences, on the client’s feelings and their dynamics, on accusations and trust... A very important feature of the summary is that the person summarizing with the help of linguistic means can change the emphasis in the client’s story in such a way that its original meaning will change in some way . Moreover, the narrator, inattentively listening to the summary, may agree with it, unintentionally misleading the listener.

For example, a psychologist says: “You can say this: you have a conflict in the family, in which your son, your wife, and relatives are involved. And you wouldn’t want me to take their side...”

Strictly speaking, the client has nothing to object to here. Formally, the meaning of the story is conveyed correctly, and he will have to answer: “Yes.” However, shifted semantic accents can lead the conversation away from a topic that is highly relevant for the client (son) to another topic that is interesting to the psychologist.

To avoid the negative impact of summarizing on the course of the consultation, it is important to remember the guiding principle of its use: the client chooses the topic of conversation; the psychologist only follows him.

Summarizing can also be effective in cases where the client “goes in circles” and returns to what has already been said. This behavior of the narrator is often due to the fact that he fears that he will not be

understood or misunderstood. By formulating an accurate summary, the psychologist shows how he understood the part of the client’s story that he has already heard, and thereby “draws a line.”

In addition to psychological counseling, summarizing is appropriate in situations that arise when discussing disagreements, resolving conflicts, handling complaints, or in situations where it is necessary to solve any problems.

During these types of meetings and negotiations, a lengthy discussion of an issue can become overly complicated or even reach a dead end. Summarizing statements will help those discussing not to waste a lot of time reacting to superficial, distracting remarks from their interlocutors, distracting themselves from discussing the content of the problem itself.