The feeling of falling in love inspires, gives bright emotions and makes people a little better than they are. Therefore, it is not surprising when boys and girls dream: “I want to fall in love. Meeting such a person will make your heart beat faster.” No one likes being lonely and living in a gray routine. But is it possible to somehow bring this dream closer?
Some people have not been able to meet their soul mate for years. It happens that applicants are good, but they don’t suck. It's simple, feelings are not subject to human control. For love attraction to arise, there must be not only common interests and physiological attraction, but also psychological compatibility, traits that cause admiration. Read on for the answer to the question: I want to fall in love, what should I do?
More communication and new acquaintances
Where does falling in love begin? Of course, from a new acquaintance. To find love, you need to make the most of your opportunities. It is impossible to fall in love if you are constantly sitting at home. The exception is online dating. You need to get to know more people, not necessarily new ones. The main thing is to look for common ground, to see what emotions arise during communication. So, what actions should be taken on your part:
- Stop constantly rushing. If you are going somewhere, don't forget to look around.
- Try to look attractive, even if you only go to the store for a short time.
- When you notice an interesting guy (girl), don’t look away, but smile.
- To make acquaintances, girls can ask what time it is or ask them to find the right address. In this regard, it’s easier for guys; it’s enough to openly express your sympathy and offer to meet in the evening in a cozy cafe.
- Find time to meet with friends. According to statistics, many people find their soul mate in common company.
- Register on a dating site.
- Take a closer look at your colleagues.
- Join a gym or dance class.
- Consider taking courses based on your interests.
If you are a fairly reserved person and find it difficult to be around people all the time, you can ask your friends or even your parents to introduce you to a worthy candidate. The main thing is not to sit idly by. Remember, water does not flow under a lying stone.
How not to fall in love with your lover - 5 useful tips
Lover and husband are completely different people, especially if the woman has lived with the latter for more than one year. If she couldn’t stop herself or circumstances were such that she had to cheat on her husband, then she needs to do this wisely.
Sometimes one affair on the side is enough to understand that it is not worth continuing this further. And fortunately, this forces the woman to improve her relationship with her husband, she tries to find solutions to problems, tries to make family life better.
But if the relationship on the side drags on, it often happens that the woman begins to understand that she is beginning to fall in love with her lover. But it was originally planned that this would be a relationship without obligations. So what to do in this case? How not to fall in love or easily part with your lover? Let's look at some useful tips.
Don't rush headlong into a relationship
Feelings for a lover can arise quickly. Rare meetings, beautiful words and compliments, expensive gifts, sensual sex, passion, all this can create the appearance of an ideal relationship. But you always need to use your brain.
Remember that living together has many differences from rare meetings. The person may not be the one you always thought about and imagined.
He may turn out to be dirty, foul-mouthed, and his dirty things will constantly be lying around the house, he may smoke in bed, and demand that different dishes be prepared every day. It's better to think about all this first.
Remember the family
If you have a family, not only a husband, but also children, then you should always remember this. Children always need a complete family, with both mom and dad. If you couldn’t resist the temptation, then you should do it in such a way that it does not affect your loved ones in any way. And it’s better to stop everything after the first affair.
But it happens that a woman begins to fall in love with her lover, having children and a husband. Remember, this is a serious mistake. All the same, the connection on the side will sooner or later be revealed.
Changes in mood, irritation towards her husband, and over time the woman will definitely let it slip. This will lead to serious family problems, including divorce. But it is not the wife and husband who will suffer greatly, but the children.
Look for flaws in your partner
If you suddenly fall in love, then you should immediately remember the negative traits of your lover. Follow him during dates, look at all his actions soberly, perhaps he picks his nose, says words with errors, constantly swears.
Of course, at the moment of falling in love, all this may seem funny and frivolous. But there will come a time when all this will begin to irritate you greatly and drive you crazy. Before showing feelings and love for a person, look at him meticulously and appraisingly.
For convenience, you can write advantages on one side of the sheet and disadvantages on the other side. This will help you better understand whether the person is worth your close attention.
Conduct a useful experiment
Is it worth continuing the relationship or is it better to end everything? To answer this question it is necessary to conduct a useful experiment. Tell your lover that you have decided to leave the family, suggest that you open up to your spouse.
You will see a reaction almost immediately. The person will probably disappear from your life, he will turn off his phone and will not want to meet again.
Take a break from work and do what you love
This advice will help in situations where a woman has already begun to show feelings of affection and love. But it’s better to stop them right away, before they have time to grow. Falling in love will help eliminate your workload.
If you work, throw yourself into it, take on overtime. All this will not leave time for constant thoughts about your lover, for meetings with him.
In addition to work, you can meet with friends, take care of your children, or go with them somewhere on vacation, for example, out of town. Go to a beauty salon, improve your appearance, or do other things you love.
All this will help you forget about your lover, and he will understand that you are not an easily accessible woman and will gradually fall behind.
The main factor that will help prevent falling in love with a lover will be the idea that such a relationship will not lead to anything good. It is important to remember that this is all temporary, that it is only a distraction from the main problems.
A woman who values her family will stop all this immediately after the first meeting. If she decides to continue the relationship on the side, she should always think soberly and understand that family is the most important thing in life for her. And a lover is needed only for entertainment, which will end sooner or later.
Be open, develop relationships
Every person is a closed book, and to understand how interesting it is, you need to open it and read it. Only by getting to know a person a little deeper can you truly fall in love. When communicating, you need to go beyond the routine questions “how are you?”, “What did you do today?” It is better to ask about what characterizes a person. For example, what films and books he prefers, what kind of vacation he likes, what he dreams about.
Collaborative activities also reveal people well. Instead of a date at a cinema or cafe, you should go to an ice skating rink, visit a rope park, or try to draw a picture together. By how a person copes with difficulties, whether he supports you or not, you can understand his character and attitude. And you can tell, tell, anything.
Everything needs to be learned
Very often, not only women, but also men who have not had a relationship for a long time say: “I want love.”
Nevertheless, in order to not only experience this feeling for another person, but also receive something in return, you yourself need to learn to accept and give love. For many people this is very difficult. After all, most women and men believe that their partners will love them just as much as they love them. But, unfortunately, everything turns out differently.
In order for a woman to be loved by a man, she must first learn to love herself. The same applies to representatives of the stronger sex.
Women want love because they want to feel happy. They dream of a man giving flowers and compliments.
You need to learn to give love to another person, and not just accept it. The most important thing is not to confuse love with passion. After all, these are two different things. Passion passes over time, but love only intensifies. This needs to be remembered.
How to check your compatibility
Today, there are many techniques that allow you to check the compatibility of a couple. These include all kinds of psychological tests, socionic typing, horoscopes, astrological calculations. However, love is not an exact science. If it were possible to calculate everything in advance, each girl was married for a long time, and the guy was married. But there are still a lot of lonely people.
What to do then, how to understand whether a person is right for you or not? You need to listen to your heart, and don’t forget about your mind. There are 7 points, the coincidence of which, according to scientists, is very important:
- Sexual temperament, how often contact is needed and what its significance is in life. A very important coincidence that allows you to avoid cheating.
- Same social level. A girl from a poor family and a millionaire is more nonsense than a rule.
- General topics of conversation. Communication is very important. If at first there is nothing to talk about, what will happen next?
- Common interests. A truly happy couple is one that can develop together and move in the same direction. For example, travel together. If one loves to lie on the couch, and the other needs constant movement, sooner or later the relationship will end.
- Identical views on roles in the family, raising children. At the initial stage, few people pay attention to this point, but in vain. This is the most common stumbling block for married couples. Irresistible, unfortunately.
- Same life, daily routine. Comfort when living together is of great importance. This minimizes the risk of scandals and quarrels, allowing you to spend time together with pleasure and without stress.
- Character and disposition. Two leaders do not get along together, that's a fact. Such couples often have passion, but love, where sacrifice, support and understanding is alien to them. Sooner or later, relationships turn into competition, and once close people become rivals, and then enemies.
Separately, it is worth mentioning the so-called psychological tests about compatibility. You can find a lot of these on the Internet. Almost all of them were created by amateurs, unreliable and even false. If you need an outside opinion, it is better to contact a professional psychologist or astrologer. You can ask your parents or friends for advice. But remember, listening and listening are two different things. Think with your own head.
A person’s own importance to others
For most people, the fact that they are loved by loved ones is important. Nevertheless, there are individuals for whom the value of public opinion is particularly high. A person wants to be loved by everyone around him. But is this normal from a psychological point of view?
The desire for universal love is associated with serious psychological problems that come from childhood. It is possible that a child was loved in childhood only when he was good. Thus, the child did not understand what it means to “love, no matter what.” Now that he has become an adult, he decided to earn the love of others.
A person with normal self-esteem has no desire to be adored by everyone. It is enough for him that his loved ones love him. As a rule, people with normal self-esteem are not afraid of being scolded by their boss for a poorly done job or being rude by a salesperson in a store.
To make the union strong
Falling in love is not the key to a good relationship. Promiscuity, psychological trauma, irresponsibility can ruin everything. Girls often say, I want not only to fall in love, but also to be loved. But in reality, they are not ready to either accept this very love or give it away. To fall in love means to some extent to sacrifice your desires and interests in favor of your loved one:
- give in in a dispute, seek compromises;
- support your loved one, even if it’s hard for yourself;
- to greet warmly;
- trust and do not look for tricks in actions or words;
- respect completely;
- do not criticize, but help to become better;
- whenever possible, always come to the rescue and support;
- be able to joke and be silent at the right time;
- to please, to initiate an interesting pastime.
To consolidate the union, it is also important to establish relationships not only with each other, but also with the parent families. Ideally, they should be warm and friendly. Rejection by parents can end in disaster. After all, relatives are always closer, they cannot be replaced, unlike a guy or a girl.
Get the past out of your head
When you really like someone, but the ghosts of past failed relationships scare you away from a new partner, tell yourself: “This is different. This is a different person. It's a different relationship."
Remind yourself that you are now wiser, more emotionally stable. Learn from your mistakes and move forward, leaving the past behind. Think positively, believe in the new relationship. Having this mindset will benefit both of you.
If the past still won't let you go, try talking to someone close to you or see a psychologist. Sometimes this approach helps to better understand the picture of your fears.
Some people focus not on the past, but on the future. Constant questions “What if...”, “What if I’m just wasting my time?” They torment your head and don’t let you love.
By constantly worrying about the future, we waste our energy and do not live in the present.
Remember that time spent building relationships is not wasted, it is always valuable and teaches us.
Psychologist's advice
The psychology of love is such that it does not arise with the wave of a magic wand. Initially, an attraction appears to a person. This is an animal nature, an instinct. When someone approaches us, a spark runs through us. What happens to her next depends on the two. Will this be a one-time connection, or will something more be born?
For love, infatuation to appear, you need to be able to generate this feeling. For some, this ability is closed due to fear of being rejected, of falling in love without reciprocity. It is important to overcome fear, otherwise feelings will never arise. Stop being afraid of experiences, rejection, don’t try to make a person fall in love with you in order to feel confident. Allow yourself to feel, and life will sparkle with new colors.
For some, falling in love is as easy as shelling pears. They fall in love with movie actors, neighborhood guys, a bartender, or just a passerby on the street. Others live for years without ever knowing love. It's all about openness and inner attitude. Try to generate this feeling, feel the warmth in your chest, and then direct it to an object - your parents, cat, friend. Love always lives within us, just learn to give it.
There's no need to rush
Don't you fall in love at first sight or so much that sparks fly out of your eyes? Are you cautious and need time? Fine! Understand that this is a positive fact rather than a negative one.
Take your time and develop your relationship calmly. Be wise, honest, direct and open with your partner.
Slow-cooked love is often strong and respectful.
In addition, it is less traumatic psychologically than lightning love, when the habits and shortcomings of one person can become a complete surprise to another.
Epilogue
Love is multifaceted. Love is not universal. It has no clear boundaries. Everyone has their own definition of this feeling. How do you personally feel about love? Perhaps you should change your point of view, and your fears will disappear by themselves?!
Love can take you by surprise. Appear under the guise of friendship, common interests, weekly conversations in the pub. She doesn't have to be crazy. It can be as simple or as complex as you wish.
But love is, first of all, communication with a person who means a lot to you . And when all the fears are behind you, you can open up to your feelings and truly love, you can enjoy a love relationship, while getting to know not only yourself, but also your partner.
Good luck and love to you!
You are not yet ripe for a serious relationship
Sometimes you refuse a date with your good friend because you don’t want to limit your freedom. Relaxed communication in public places is akin to a veiled date for you. You prefer to spend time with a young man in the library or studying for an exam, but nothing more. This friendship will not go anywhere, and the young man will wait forever. At least you know that if you have a feeling, you can always take a step towards it.
Expectations are too high
When you make a conscious effort in your head to find a great guy, more often than not, you get stuck with high and unrealistic expectations. In fact, you are being hindered by your own thinking and idea of an ideal companion. Love should come from a lightning impulse, and not turn into a competition to choose the best candidate. In the process of planning and making plans, you forget to enjoy the time spent communicating with your potential date.
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