What a self-sufficient man is, how to become self-sufficient

What is male self-sufficiency?

Self-sufficiency of a man - what is it? This is independence and independence in all aspects of life. A self-sufficient man knows how to earn money, is able to feed himself, keep his home clean and create comfort. Such men are busy with self-development and self-education; they have stable hobbies and social circles. If something doesn’t suit them, they immediately change the current circumstances.

Self-sufficient person: concept, signs

Modern women
A self-sufficient person is a person who adequately evaluates himself and has inner dignity. Such people are often compared to selfish people, but is this true? Where is the line between self-sufficiency and selfishness?

A self-sufficient person is always distinguished by several signs:

He's calm

He will never envy, be jealous or show aggression. He does not succumb to external factors and looks at the whole world as if from above - he is not interested in conflicts, because he is not going to prove anything to anyone, nor to argue.

He doesn't know how to be jealous

Jealousy is a feeling of insecure people when it seems to them that they are worse than others and that their loved one will definitely leave. Even if a self-sufficient person finds himself in such a situation, he will let go calmly, because inside he has his own values, and not another person.

Jealousy is not always present only in relationships between men and women. This could be mother and son, when, for example, she does not accept her daughter-in-law. It seems to her that she is not at all what her son needs. A father can also be jealous of his son-in-law when it seems to him that he is not taking good care of his daughter. And then every parent in this situation forgets that in his youth he himself made mistakes.

He doesn't manipulate

What does self-sufficiency mean?
A self-sufficient person will never impose his desires on others. Children who cannot accept their mother's new husband or father's wife do not have this feeling. Perhaps the parents simply could not explain that they also have the right to happiness, and then manipulation comes into play.

When parents do not have a sense of self-sufficiency, they feel guilty and give up their happiness. Such behavior is forgivable for children, and adults should not fall for provocations. In the future, when the child becomes an adult, he will begin to manipulate his husband or wife. In this way he will, as it were, “beg” for love - throw constant hysterics, press for pity.

It turns out that self-sufficiency is selfishness? No. This is wrong. Self-sufficiency is when a person simply knows what he wants and can achieve it without manipulation. If he needs help, he will ask for it, but will never depend on another. He is ready to help, not for anything, but simply because he has something to give.

He helps

Often such people create funds to help others, give money for operations to children or donate to orphanages. And they don't seek glory from it. Egoists are not capable of this.

He doesn't live for show

Unless, of course, he is a famous person. In any case, even a famous person will not tell everyone about his personal life and the lives of his children. He will not brag about his achievements and charity.

Smoothly moves towards the goal

Achievement of oil by a self-sufficient person
Such people do not need PR to prove their importance. They are independent of other people's assessments. They consider it important within themselves and they do not consider it necessary to do something for show.

Another self-sufficient person understands well that not all people are smart. He doesn't try to prove that he is smarter than everyone else. This largely depends on age and upbringing, but still. If a person is trying to prove to someone that he is smarter, then he cannot definitely be called self-sufficient.

He doesn't need anyone else's approval

Self-sufficient people accept themselves as they are. As a child, the opinion of our parents is important to us; at an older age, we listen to our friends, and often act on our own desires. We choose partners who are more pleasant not even to us, but to society and accept all its rules. However, with age comes the understanding that we need a profession, a husband, a wife and other features of life, and not someone else. And a person understands that he must live in a way that makes him comfortable, and not in a way that society accepts.

Why does a man need self-sufficiency?

It is needed for a man to become a successful specialist and a happy person. Self-sufficiency - what is it for men? The basis of all life. It helps with the following:

make difficult decisions;
be guided by reason and logic, not emotions;
be consistent and persistently move towards the goal;
plan and organize your life;
resist stress and difficulties;
advance your career;
win disputes and contradictions, get out of conflicts with dignity;
be resistant to manipulation;
be able to protect yourself and your loved ones, take care of yourself and them;
make conscious choices and actions;
quickly adapt to changing living conditions.

Signs of human self-sufficiency

If we recognize that self-sufficiency is a personality characteristic, then there are signs of this quality. These include:

adequate self-esteem, faith in one’s strengths and abilities;
developed pride and self-esteem;
stability of the emotional background (neutral, calm mood prevails);
the ability to benefit from temporary loneliness;
lack of intrusiveness in communication;
the ability to clearly define your boundaries and respect the boundaries of other people;
low level of anxiety;
high ability to adapt to new social conditions;
independence in making decisions and finding a way out of difficult life situations;
the ability and willingness to take responsibility for one’s words and actions;
desire for freedom from control;
refusal to try to re-educate someone;
the ability to use one’s own experience in difficult situations;
negative attitude towards the moral teachings and advice of others.

How does self-sufficiency manifest itself in men?

What does the phrase “self-sufficient man” mean? It means strong and confident.

Self-sufficiency is expressed in the following:

respect for one’s interests and the ability to defend one’s views;
respect for personal boundaries and worldviews of other people;
independence from public opinion;
adequate perception of constructive criticism and the ability to ignore destructive comments;
self-love and total self-acceptance, knowledge of one’s strengths and weaknesses;
the ability to admit your mistakes and learn from them;
independence;
having purpose and meaning in life, following them;
understanding your emotions, needs and desires;
the ability to help and accept help, but not to abuse either one or the other;
lack of fear, especially fear of loneliness.

Important! The main thing is not to confuse self-sufficiency with selfishness and pride. A self-sufficient man always acts as he sees fit, and does what he wants, and not what supposedly needs to be done. He can care about others, but to do this you need to earn his respect.

Development of self-sufficiency

You can develop the qualities of a self-sufficient person by following a number of tips:

Learn a simple reaction to criticism and praise from strangers.
Accept your own loneliness with dignity. Treat this time as an important value for your personal space.
Learn to remove means of communication and entertainment, spending time with yourself alone. This includes the practice of turning off the Internet, TV, and other gadgets.
Practice imagining situations in which a person is left without the help of relatives and friends. Be able to handle such cases easily and calmly. In this way, you can develop the qualities of a strong-willed, independent person.
Recreate positive sensations in memory, look for ways to achieve a similar state without the help of strangers, while being completely alone.
Learn to analyze your own environment. Eliminate from your social circle people who waste time without giving anything in return.
Practice independent decision making without relying on help or advice from outsiders. In this way, you can develop the habit of independence and increase the level of personal responsibility for your decisions.
Analyze your positive and negative qualities from the point of view of independence. Set goals that help you achieve independence.
Study literature on this issue.
Start thinking and acting like an adult. This includes the absence of excessive expectations from strangers and hopes for help.
Self-service in everyday life. This includes cooking, cleaning and providing cash.
Adhere to a healthy lifestyle that includes physical activity and healthy eating. This will allow you to maintain strength, youth, and also receive satisfaction from life.
Be able to set goals for different periods of time. These can be tasks for a year, a month, a week. The main thing is to try to do something to achieve your goal every day.

Be sure to read:

How to stop depending on other people's opinions and gain self-confidence: effective ways

There is no need to be fanatical about your level of self-sufficiency. It is not necessary to become a hermit and try to reduce communication with society to a minimum. You need to learn to enjoy your own company; acting to your detriment is unacceptable.

Household self-sufficiency

Household independence is the easiest to define. A person with this character trait is able to fully provide for his needs.

Signs of household self-sufficiency:

ability to provide oneself with housing;
ability to cook food;
the ability to earn money in the required amount;
ability to clean and maintain the home in proper order;
the ability to organize one’s own existence at the everyday level.

An individual who is self-sufficient from an everyday point of view does not need the help of outsiders in organizing his life.

Psychological self-sufficiency

An individual who is self-sufficient from an everyday point of view does not need the help of outsiders in organizing his life.
Signs of psychological independence:

The ability to make decisions based on one’s own opinion. A person listens to the advice of strangers, but for him they are only recommendations. He makes the final decision based on his conclusions and desires.
Independence from the opinions of strangers. Characterized by acceptance of responsibility for decisions, lack of reaction to the approval or censure of others.
The ability to value your time and not let others get on your neck. Fulfilling other people's requests that are contrary to one's own worldview will not make a person happy. A self-sufficient person relies on his personality when communicating with strangers. Their negative reaction to rejection is their problem.
Absence of painful attachments, for example, to parents, lovers, spouses.

One of the main conditions for healthy psychological self-sufficiency is a small number of fears and a persistent ability to overcome them.

Social self-sufficiency

Social independence is manifested, first of all, in the success of a person’s professional activity and the position he occupies in society.

A person should enjoy his activity, it should arouse interest. Certain successes in the profession can give confidence and ensure respect in society.

Doing something you don’t like, constantly searching for your place in life without results, creates an oppressive atmosphere of emptiness in the soul.

Be sure to read:

Self-esteem and level of aspirations: characteristic features, methods of determination

How to become a self-sufficient man

A step-by-step plan on how to become a self-sufficient man (remember that a person becomes self-sufficient throughout his life):

Decide on the meaning and purpose of life, desires and needs. Make a step-by-step plan for self-realization. If some tools are still missing, then you need to make a plan for getting them, for example, think about what traits of your character you need to destroy or, conversely, what you need to get rid of in order to achieve your goal.
Set personal boundaries, work on your sense of self-respect and self-worth.
Understand who you see next to you and what kind of relationships you are ready to build. If your current relationship doesn’t suit you, then think about whether you can work on it (if so, how) or whether it’s easier to get out of it.
Be sincere with yourself and others, allow yourself to be yourself. What have you long dreamed of, what have you forbidden yourself, what do you really want?
Remember your rights and freedom, get out of someone else's control.
Learn to listen and hear, but never sacrifice yourself. However, this does not mean that you should avoid compromise and mutual concessions to achieve common goals at work or in your personal life.
Learn to take responsibility for your life and not rely on other people or fate.
Get a hobby and learn to comfortably spend time alone.

Important! A self-sufficient man has no psychological, material, or physical problems. He lives in the present and clearly sees his future.

Self-sufficiency of a woman

In the lives of, albeit not every, but many women, sooner or later there comes a time when the need for self-sufficiency appears. This includes self-confidence, independence, the ability to provide for oneself independently, the ability to win people over, complete self-acceptance, and generally a prosperous life in harmony with the world and oneself.

Some may say that a woman needs to be self-sufficient only in order to effectively achieve her goals, but this is a primitive view. In fact, this quality helps to overcome any dependence, in particular on men, to manage one’s internal reserves, to transform disadvantages into advantages, and to be independent in solving any problems and issues.

Of particular importance is the issue of emotional dependence as the desire to live at the expense of other people’s resources, and not only material ones, because every woman needs support, care, and love. And the best way to get rid of this addiction is to arrange your own life and make yourself better.

Here are some useful tips that every woman can use along with what has already been discussed. These tips are aimed at both overcoming emotional dependence and developing self-sufficiency:

When receiving support from your environment, concentrate on your sensations in your body - in the future you can remember these sensations, feeling the same emotions, but without an external stimulus.
Realize and accept the fact that people cannot be with you always and everywhere, and the way you want, because everyone has their own desires and needs, affairs and responsibilities, rhythms of intimacy and alienation.
People leaving the area of close contacts does not mean that they have become bad or have begun to love you less, it’s just life, and everyone has the right to this very self-sufficiency.
Never stop loving yourself and taking care of yourself, your health and beauty, and remember that a self-sufficient woman is always happy with her appearance, hairstyle, makeup, manicure, outfit.
You should not envy someone and underestimate yourself and your abilities - at a given moment in time, each person goes through his own stage of development, and if something doesn’t work out for you today, it’s not a fact that it won’t work out tomorrow.
At the same time, you should not turn up your nose, treat others with disrespect, be overly proud of your successes and achievements, or think that others are worse than you - a self-sufficient woman respects both herself and others, and she has no rivals.
Leave behind all past grievances, tears, sorrows and partings, unjustified expectations and regrets - they consume a lot of energy, and it would be better spent on developing self-sufficiency and creating a wonderful future.
Develop your intuition and listen to your inner voice more often, because it is not without reason that they say that a woman’s instinct is much better developed than a man’s, and this instinct will help you avoid troubles and achieve what you want.
Make your life easier: give up people who don’t need you and who are unpleasant to you, change your boring job to something that will bring joy and satisfaction, don’t pay attention to minor troubles and trifles.

A self-sufficient woman is a happy woman, because for her to be happy, the company of the only most charming, attractive and beloved person is enough for her - herself. We think that about this

My recommendations

Let's talk about a man's self-sufficiency in a relationship with a woman. In our society, the idea that the husband should earn money and the wife should take care of the house is still alive. Moreover, this differentiation of roles persists even if the woman also works, and sometimes earns more than her partner.

Unfortunately, in many families this is instilled in children from childhood. Because of this, young people grow up passive and infantile in everyday life. They have no idea about food prices and how to prepare a hearty and healthy lunch, they do not want to keep the house clean, and they are not psychologically flexible. By raising boys in this way, parents do them a disservice and deprive them of everyday and psychological independence. Both men and women should be able to cope with household responsibilities, cook, and take care of themselves. This is an element of self-sufficiency.

Another specificity of upbringing in many families is that the boy is taught to give in to girls, endure their manipulations and tears, and apologize just like that. This is also not correct. Every person should have personal boundaries, they do not depend on gender. If a girl is wrong, then you need to convey this to her, the main thing is to choose socially acceptable methods, and not blindly follow your line, turning into a tyrant. At the same time, it is important to try to look at the problem through the girl’s eyes. This is psychological flexibility, respect for other people’s interests, without which it is impossible to be a self-sufficient person.

What influences the level of self-sufficiency?

Self-sufficiency is not an innate characteristic.

Its level changes throughout life. A person’s views and beliefs may change, and new skills may appear. All this, along with the environment, influences the level of self-sufficiency.

The level of self-sufficiency can be significantly reduced when a person goes through acute stressful situations. The personality rolls back. Moreover, the more serious the shock, the lower the bar becomes.

Even some positive changes in life can reduce the level of independence:

love;
motherhood;
fulfillment of a cherished dream.

A mature personality endures a crisis of independence, bringing out new experiences from it. Stabilization of personality to its previous state occurs gradually and does not require outside help.