The love of a woman for a woman. Love between two beautiful women

The problem of sexual orientation is quite acute in modern society. Same-sex love in any form, both relationships between a man and a man, and the love of a woman for a woman, is associated by most people with something unnatural, negative and unacceptable. Previously, it was believed that the manifestation of feelings and passion between two representatives of the fair sex was a direct referral to a clinic for the mentally ill. Is it that scary? Why do some ladies prefer their own kind to the stronger sex? What provokes the development of such relationships and what does love between women lead to? Modern psychology provides answers to these questions.

Behavioral characteristics of women

According to numerous studies, females are more sensitive and emotional than males. Nature itself has endowed women with the ability to love and experience strong feelings towards men, create a family and give birth to children. However, under the influence of numerous life factors, the psyche and innate behavioral characteristics of the fair half of humanity undergo serious changes. Modern life sometimes forces women to take on some of the responsibilities of men, perform hard physical work and play roles in society that are not typical for them. All this provokes changes in the character and personal qualities of representatives of the fairer sex.

Behavioral patterns

From early childhood, society is considered an institution for girls and boys that represents opportunity for them:
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contact;
to interact;
solve problems;
live fully.

For harmonious development, a child requires communication between male and female peers.

The origins of relationships between girls begin from the moment when they:

start communicating;
find common interests;
share secrets;
to trust each other.

For a woman, the need for friendship is considered psychologically justified. Indeed, due to the emotionality of nature, a release is required. It is achieved through conversation, spending time together, and advising each other in a difficult situation to resolve.

In the psychology of relationships between women and women, several models of behavior are distinguished:

Friendship. Communication occurs at the level of trust. Has a strong emotional connection. In some cases, there is a dependence on each other.
Rivalry. Usually occurs in a hidden form. Each of them wants to look in society against the background of the other more spectacular, more beautiful, superior in an intellectual sense.
Neutral relationships remain between unfamiliar or unfamiliar representatives of the fairer sex. When communicating, they transform into another form - friendship, rivalry, love, hatred.
Love affairs - for Russian society, this state of affairs between women is considered a negative and immoral phenomenon. It disrupts the natural chain of population reproduction. Psychologists and psychiatrists consider such attraction to be a deviation in the functioning of a person’s mental functions. The causes identified are the lack of internal self-sufficiency and the psychological inability to find an understanding partner in a man.
Communication between colleagues occurs only within working hours; in other areas of life they do not communicate, do not share experiences, are at a distance from each other, and do not want to let them into their personal lives.

These patterns of behavior, according to the psychology of relations between a woman and a woman, often move from one form to another, are modified, which is considered a normal and natural phenomenon.

They work not only during communication between women who are not relatives, but also in the case of interaction between mother and daughter, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, sisters, and nieces.

Causes

Same-sex relationships among beautiful ladies can develop on their own, regardless of the person’s age and previous sexual orientation. There are cases when, before meeting a new partner, a girl had a fairly strong love relationship with a man, but after that she preferred love between women.

In addition to the most inexplicable emergence of passion for a person of the same sex, the construction of such relationships can be provoked by social factors, upbringing, environment, LGBT propaganda, as well as negative experiences with a member of the opposite sex.

Why true female friendship, despite all disagreements, happens

If you know how to properly distribute friendly energy, not be too intrusive, provide support when it’s really needed, and not trespass on each other’s personal space, you can build a long-lasting and strong relationship.

Rules

It is possible to lose a friend if you do not comply with a basic list of requirements:

Try to choose as a companion a person who is similar in social status in society, intelligence and family status. The smaller the gap in different areas of life, the easier it is for friends to understand each other.
Personal problems that arise at work or at home with your husband - try to solve them yourself, without consulting a close friend. Otherwise, you risk dragging her into unnecessary squabbles, further complicating the situation.
Be sure to protect your personal space and set aside time for relaxation without strangers.
Don't give her all the information indiscriminately. She can tell it to third parties without bad thoughts and thereby damage your reputation.
The grounds for close relationships are equality and mutual assistance. If one of the girls always has time to help or meet, and the other is busy at the right time, this is already parasitism.
There are also unspoken rules: if a person is absent, you should not judge him, discuss him, or express criticism. If she finds out, there will be a quarrel and the end of trusted ties.

And most importantly, appreciate those who know how to sincerely rejoice at their achievements!

Ask a question

Trying to discover something new

Most people are driven to various experiments in their sexual life by curiosity. For example, some use escort services (phone sex, ordering “priestesses of love”) or resort to communicating with representatives of a different race. So what is the difference between the relationships between women, the love that arises between them? All this is the same experiment, a unique way to diversify personal life, which uncomplicated, free-thinking individuals decide to undertake, while being fully aware of their actions and deeds. Some representatives of the fair sex try in this way to feel what exactly a man experiences when touching a woman, caring for her and enjoying intimacy with her.

Positive aspects of same-sex relationships

The advantages of love between women include the following:

Understanding. Girls always understand each other better because their psychology is the same. In this, men are far behind, since their views on a given situation can differ greatly from women’s.
Support. A woman knows how to support like no other. After all, representatives of the fair sex are more sensitive, they know how to show compassion and give practical advice in any situation, which cannot be said about guys.
Common interests. If girls have common hobbies, then this attracts them even more to each other. Young ladies are more likely to find a like-minded woman among the same sex. But men's and women's interests do not always coincide.
Confidence. This is the most important thing in a relationship. Women are more focused on being faithful, because they are not polygamous like men.
Intimate Girls know what exactly can bring them the highest pleasure in sex, so it is easier to achieve mutual satisfaction.

There are quite a lot of positive aspects, but not all women decide to open their same-sex relationships to the world.

Propaganda

What has been broadcast recently on TV, as well as in various online communities, is nothing more than indirect propaganda of lesbian relationships. Show business celebrities openly demonstrate their sexual orientation, showing how fashionable and modern it is, and in some countries rallies of LGBT activists are held.

Provocations of this kind have no effect on the seasoned minds of mature, established individuals. Mostly young girls and teenagers with fragile psyches fall under the influence of propaganda. Then a woman’s love for another woman develops under the influence of external suggestion, and it is dominated to a greater extent by playing for the public. Freshman and high school girls are often not aware of their actions; this kind of relationship ends at a more mature age - before the age of 20.

Marriage and family. Same-sex relationships: an outside view

Recently, one of the most frequently discussed topics in the media, the Internet and in direct communication is the official legal permission of same-sex marriage in a number of European countries.

The opinions expressed on this issue are very diverse - from indifference or non-interference “in these matters” to cautious (and sometimes downright aggressive) calls to fight “foreigners”.

It's no secret that homosexual couples have existed at all times, and the attitude towards them in different societies and cultures was different: from ignoring them to criminal punishment. Religious denominations and their attitude to such connections play a significant role in this issue. Probably, with the exception of the ancient Greeks and Romans with their pantheon of cheerful gods who were not averse to frolicking, it will be difficult to find examples of support (or at least not condemnation) of homosexual relations from the state religion.

So, in Orthodoxy, lesbianism was not openly condemned, but at the same time the attitude towards homosexuality was the opposite: the husband is obliged to use his seed only for its intended purpose, that is, for procreation, and nothing else. The same can be said about Judaism and Islam.

So, what motivates activists against same-sex relationships and marriage? What exactly does it disgust them about same-sex, legally registered love? How did our compatriots of homo- and heterosexual orientation react to such permission? How happy are those who can now get married and what difficulties do they experience in permitted family life (meaning a separate, homosexual family)? Let's try to answer these questions.

Recently, we are faced with the fact that democratic pluralism in the world is not becoming a means of eliminating differences, but even in some issues contributes to their increase. That is, the line between what was once privileges for the majority and disadvantages for the minority is gradually blurring. It turns out that the “suffering” minority, receiving more and more equal rights with the majority over time, is no longer considered a minority (remember the once oppressed African Americans or Jewish ghettos). In this matter, it is important to rethink your view of certain social groups, hence the roots of the emergence of both understanding and tolerant attitude.

Consequently, as people learn to be more tolerant of their own and others' sexuality, the less discomfort they experience. Hence, it is not surprising that in the surveys we analyzed regarding the attitude of heterosexuals towards same-sex relationships, the most tolerant group were people from 18 to 33 years old. They have more information, and everything is fine with their sexuality - why should they meddle in the affairs of others? And the older the age group gets, the more often you can see negative answers or obvious hostility in such relationships. This is probably due primarily to the fact that the respondents are either not satisfied with their sexuality (sex life) or have negative attitudes towards same-sex relationships that were clearly formed in the process of upbringing and socialization.

The analysis also showed that among the feelings of the respondents, sympathy was not in last place. Although what kind of sympathy can we talk about if everyone is happy? We mean those who have same-sex (and often long-term) relationships, and are happy at the same time? Isn’t it better in this case to talk about respect for human rights and indifference to him and to the object of his sexual and love desire?

I would like to emphasize once again that often we are not talking about private psychological attitudes, but about the public psychology of acceptance and non-acceptance of homosexuality as a phenomenon. According to the definition of I.S. Kona, “homophobia ... implies that irrational fear and hatred of same-sex love and its bearers is rooted ... in individual psychopathology - suppressed one’s own sexual impulses, general hostility and distrust of other people, a tendency to react to stressful situations primarily with the help of defense mechanisms.”

In the literature you can now find two more terms introduced by the American social psychologist Gregory Herek: “heterosexism” and “heterocentrism”. The first denotes an ideological system that denies, denigrates and stigmatizes all non-heterosexual relationships and forms of behavior. The second is a softer version of it, which does not deny homosexual relationships, but places them on the periphery of relationships in general.

Igor Semenovich Kon in his book “Love of the Color of Heaven” cites a number of macro-social factors on which the level of heterosexism in society depends. The book was published in 2004, but little has changed since then. Let us analyze the factors he presented from a modern point of view.

1. General level of social and cultural tolerance. For most people born in the USSR, with its attitude towards individuality and the manifestation of it “in public”, it is quite difficult to come to terms with the fact that someone is not like everyone else. Even (or even more so?) in such an exotic issue as sex.

It turns out that one of the effective ways to remove the taboo from this topic is a tolerant attitude towards it on the part of the authorities. Recently, in Russian reality there are more and more examples of the opposite. No, perhaps our society has not yet matured to gay pride parades (and the question of the advisability of holding them also seems quite controversial to the author of the article), but showing a tolerant and cultural attitude towards sexual minorities on the part of the authorities would clearly reduce the severity of the problem. Although on this topic one can so easily increase the rating of one’s own political popularity, leaving the people in embittered ignorance! If there is no real enemy, you need to invent him or show him inside.

2. Sexual anxiety associated with the low level of sexual culture of the population in general. People in our country often cannot accept their own sexuality, against this background they develop a tangle of neurotic problems and psychosomatic diseases, and they are required to accept some kind of foreigner! Education for sexual literacy, which should preferably begin from school, will, I think, help alleviate the problem of heterocentrism.

3. Another important factor is mandatory, forced heterosexuality, associated with the diminished role of women in society. She can hold any leadership positions she likes, have her own company or concern, but forced heterosexuality, which protects the institution of marriage, and most importantly the institution of maintaining the prestige of the male sex, often makes of her only an object that helps in the sexual relaxation of men and performs the function of childbearing. This is the view of homosexual women. The attitude of the male heterosexual community - a negative attitude towards homosexuals - appears to be nothing more than a means of maintaining male solidarity.

4. Situational socio-political factor. Heterosexism cannot but intensify during periods of social crises, one of which our society is currently experiencing. This factor is somewhat similar to the first, but its roots are slightly different. At a time when a visible enemy or scapegoat is needed (to distract from real social problems or for neuroticization-cohesion of society), it is very important to create a state of moral panic.

To create it, two conditions are required:

— the presence of a social crisis

— the presence of a social group or organization that is ready and capable of provoking public indignation and directing it to the right address.

It is on these two factors that the modern hype around homosexuality and homosexual marriage is built. Moreover, here it is necessary to take a closer look at those who are creating this artificial excitement. Hatred is often another form of love. Or, behind the active beating of homosexuals (especially when there are several against one) there may be a lack of personal autonomy, compensated for in such a brutal way.

I would like to hope that over time the situation will improve in our country. Still, generations change, and changes, albeit slowly, but inevitably come. The current generations are invariably replaced by others, more educated and liberated, who do not have in their heads the number of censorship and social prohibitions against sex in general and sexual relations in particular. And the point here is not that they will like or dislike same-sex love, but that with an increase in the level of sexual culture and literacy, they will simply become indifferent to the very fact of homosexual relations.

So, same-sex couple. Let’s not be distracted by the gender of the partners now, let’s talk in general about the relationships that bind them before marriage. Before writing the article, its author was lucky enough to talk with some members of the St. Petersburg LGBT community. I present conclusions from this conversation here. The age of the people with whom the conversation was conducted was from 19-20 to 35 years old, mostly female.

Firstly, both male and female couples clearly do not believe that in our country in the next decade, not only will the taboo on registering same-sex marriages be lifted, but also that society’s attitude towards them will change. Oddly enough, they did not have a clear opinion about the openness of their relationships (that is, kissing in public places, hugs, etc.): the younger ones would not be against such an expression of feelings, while the older ones were more restrained in this issue. Doesn't this also resemble heterosexual unions?

The main difficulty that same-sex couples experience is the lack of a place to regularly meet and/or live. And if it’s easier for female couples - they can rent an apartment/room together without arousing much suspicion, then with men the situation is different. Isn’t the “housing issue” so acute in heterosexual relationships?

For same-sex female couples, the emotional connection is primarily important than sex, so the main criterion for them is the emotional closeness of the partner, and appearance takes a back seat. Moreover, their unions are more durable than men’s precisely because of this type of intimacy. There are facts of betrayal, but here you need to keep in mind that if we are talking about a long-term union built on mutual emotional female intimacy, the attitude towards betrayal is different. Most often, infidelity is forgiven when partners find out their true reason.

In male couples, the situation is different: external attractiveness often comes first, hence the high degree of sensual relationships filled with intense sexuality and often the fragility of the couple. And it is in male couples that the fact of betrayal and infidelity is more common, which can lead to scenes and intense passions that cannot be found in opposite-sex relationships. Once the fact of betrayal is discovered, love for a partner can quickly turn into hatred and hatching insidious plans for revenge. In addition, the partner who became the injured party tries in every possible way to prove to the second how much he has lost. If this does not find the proper response, then often, to prove his exclusivity, the deceived person makes a brilliant career, hoping that “he will hear about me again and will terribly regret what he has done.”

This, perhaps, distinguishes such unions from heterosexual ones, and isn’t there a hidden, special charm in this? Especially if such a formulation of the question suits both halves of the union?

If we talk about long-term couples (no matter what their gender, age, or the duration of the relationship is more than 3 years), then they would certainly like to legitimize their relationship. There are three main prerequisites for this. But before we name them, let's say a few words about what a family is and what difficulties it may face.

The family is perhaps the first social institution that has existed for quite a long time. And if a person realizes himself as a specialist, a professional at work, then at home he realizes himself primarily as an individual, while finding psychological comfort, human warmth, as well as coziness and care at home.

ON THE. Berdyaev noted that the family is subject to the same laws as the state, the economy, and so on. Therefore, modern social attitudes can negatively affect the family. According to some domestic psychologists, the old functions of the family have been forgotten and lost, and new ones have not yet been formed. In this situation, much depends on a number of reasons that may become problems in the future.

Firstly, the number of heterogeneous marriages has increased, that is, people of different social classes, religions (rare, but it does occur), level of education, and nationalities are getting married. Hence the first problem for those entering marriage: what at first seemed unimportant, secondary, a “feature”, may later become the dominant factor in behavior/attitude, which can lead to emotional alienation.

Secondly, over time, the romantic aura around the chosen one dissipates, and dissatisfaction with the spouse and the marriage in general may arise. Unpleasant and sometimes irritating moments in behavior begin to be noticed, which can lead to a break in the relationship.

Thirdly, it may happen that one of the partners, not wanting to realize himself, finds himself smart, educated, promising and in his shadow quietly lives out his days, completely satisfying his ambitions in this way. However, the opposite also happens. Both the first and second options can cause a breakup.

Fourth, a legally formalized marriage may, over time, seem like a lifelong commitment to one or both spouses. After all, after legal registration, both spouses receive assigned rights to support, care, fidelity and sexual relations. On the one hand, it is stability and a solid foundation, especially if children appear. But on the other hand, if partners do not improve, if they get used to each other so much that their relationship turns into a routine, then sooner or later a moment comes that can be called “rebellion.” And here the one who is no longer satisfied with this state of affairs begins.

Fifthly, the requirements for a partner change with age. If in her youth a woman wanted strength and the ability to love passionately, then in adulthood she begins to value him as a protector and someone who can provide for her family. Over the years, a man wants to see in his chosen one not a sexual seductress, but an intelligent, caring, loving, kind woman who can create a cozy home.

One of the types of family relationships in modern Russian society can be considered the so-called “trial marriage”, when people live in a couple, run a joint household, but do not have an officially registered relationship. In essence, when viewed from the outside, we can say that such a marriage for a woman is no different from the present: she also bears the burden of housekeeping, while no one expects anything from a man in such a marriage. That is, he enjoys all the privileges of a married man, without bearing any responsibility. Hence, some psychologists conclude that a “trial marriage” is nothing more than a crisis state of a modern family, and not a new stage in development between the sexes. Moreover, this crisis reflects the crisis of society as a whole. Infantilism, inability (unwillingness?) to be responsible for one’s actions, to bear responsibility for decisions made - such attitudes towards each other can often be observed in such marriages.

During the conversation with representatives of the St. Petersburg LGBT community, in addition to their attitude towards legally registered same-sex marriages, the above facts affecting the integrity of the family and family relationships were also discussed.

It turned out that they were experiencing the same difficulties, and attempts to solve them, as a rule, did not differ from those undertaken by opposite-sex couples. The only difference, perhaps, is that not all of them could turn to a psychologist with their questions, if one was not among their friends and acquaintances: as it turned out, the attitude of psychologists towards same-sex unions is far from unambiguous.

So, representatives of the St. Petersburg LGBT community put forward the following (in order of importance) as the main factors for legal registration of their relations:

1. The possibility of living together with your partner (emotional, sensual side). Moreover, they do not pretend to be open about their relationship: “if society is not yet ready,” but a legally registered marriage gives them the legal right not to hide from their loved ones and relatives who are not welcoming, and sometimes even hostile, against their sexual partner.

2. Possibility of purchasing/dividing jointly acquired property. Same-sex couples, just like different-sex couples, are faced with the fact that legally unregistered relationships interfere, for example, with purchasing real estate with a mortgage or obtaining a loan for a large amount. Or vice versa: when a couple breaks up, it is quite difficult for them to peacefully divide what they have acquired together: furniture, household appliances, a car, etc.

3. Possibility of adopting a child. Oddly enough, many of those with whom the author of the article talked would be happy to raise a child or several. An analysis of the literature on this issue has shown that there is no unambiguous attitude towards this type of upbringing among child psychologists: some of them support, saying that there are no problems with orientation, others are categorically against it, and others cautiously express the opinion that we should probably try it's possible, but...

Thus, the conclusions that can be drawn from the conversation are as follows:

- same-sex unions experience the same emotions and feelings for each other as opposite-sex unions;

— homosexual couples are puzzled by the same problems when choosing and living together with a partner as heterosexual ones;

— the motivation for marriage in the majority of same-sex couples with whom we spoke is the same as that of opposite-sex couples.

That is, from the point of view of worldview, worldview, we are not so different, and there are probably more similarities than differences. Among homosexuals there are a large number of talented, professional people, bright individuals (but let’s make a reservation right away: being homosexual does not make a person talented). So why is there such a phobia towards them? Why not let people realize their right not only in terms of sexual identity (after all, the LGBT community is a legally existing organization), but also so that they can legally legitimize their relationships? Will this not remove the incomprehensible excitement in society and will not turn “exotic” relationships (another myth diligently spread by heterocentrics) into one of the varieties of relationships?

As Somerset Maugham said, “People love nothing more than to put a label on another person that frees them once and for all from having to think.” So maybe it’s worth thinking about it?

Literature:

1. I.S. Con. Love of heavenly color. – St. Petersburg: “Continuation of Life”, 2001. – 384 p.

2. V.M. Tseluiko. Psychology of the modern family. – M.: Humanitarian Publishing House. VLADOS center, 2010. – 288 p.

Alcohol

There are many anecdotes and comical stories about how a man and a woman, having too much alcohol, end up in the same bed the next morning. Who said this couldn't happen between two ladies? For example, women met to share personal problems, sat in a bar, drank heavily and “blowed off” a couple of obsessive, sleazy gentlemen. Then they smoothly moved to the apartment of one of their friends and went to sleep on the same bed. This was followed by innocent hugs, then kisses and so on. In the morning, both ladies will be confused and feel a sense of shame, since this has never happened to them before. The love of 2 women at this stage will most likely end, and both partners will never cross paths again. Less often, such relationships develop into something more. Researchers have proven that this situation occurs mainly with women who have recently met, and rarely with old close friends.

Friendship

Offended ordinary people and scientists agree on this issue - there is no friendship between women.

It’s so good that life often makes its own adjustments and you can see true friendship when friends help each other cope with the most difficult situations.

Psychologists believe that between two women there can only be close communication or rivalry - there cannot be real affection.

Even a mother, comparing herself with her daughter, inevitably thinks about how her youth and beauty are gone. Even a very beautiful, adult, interesting lady “loses” in comparison with a girl of ordinary appearance.

And what can we say about girlfriends! As soon as one of them sees a worthy candidate for future family happiness on the horizon, they try to distance themselves from their friend. Let some girls do this unconsciously - they simply do not have enough time to communicate. But there are also those who try to alienate their friend from her future husband - suddenly he will beat her off.

In this case, you should not reproach your former friend for lack of confidence. It will definitely not be possible to return the former friendship with such statements. But isn’t it true that similar relationships connect men too? They also begin to draw closer together due to common interests, and disperse when this relationship ends.

There is only one difference between male friends and female friends. It’s a rare woman who asks her friend to “take care of her sweetheart” when she’s away for a long time. Rather, she will leave the keys to her retired neighbor and ask her to come a couple of times a week to clean and cook, and at the same time keep track of who visited the premises in her absence. Men, when leaving for the army, or before a long business trip, ask their faithful friend: “Try not to let my beloved get bored!” Friend is trying. It is not difficult to guess how such requests end.

So there are no big differences between male and female friendship: communication - competition - help in difficult circumstances. But if you think about how friendships between women arise, you can find a difference from rapprochement between men. Female friendships can grow out of shared interests or past intimate relationships between these women. Having broken off homosexual relationships, men almost never remain friends.

Why was friendship between neighbors or work colleagues never mentioned? People who have become close due to forced frequent spending time rarely communicate and go in different directions. This can only happen if they have common interests.

Man's Desire

Passion, a woman's love for a woman, can be caused by the desire of the husband/regular male sexual partner to try a threesome. It has been proven that some men are especially turned on by lesbian play, and many of them would like to make such fantasies a reality. It is worth noting that women easily agree to such experiments, without resisting such strange dreams. They are motivated mainly by the fear of losing their lover, jealousy, curiosity and the desire to satisfy their partner. However, such a one-time relationship can develop into a new relationship, where the man becomes the third wheel.

Dissatisfaction

The lack of sex life, as well as dissatisfaction with it, can provoke same-sex love: 2 women will be united by the desire to receive as many positive emotions as possible from intercourse. Recently, many different articles have appeared that say that ladies know better what they themselves need, therefore the love of a woman for a woman can only bring positivity and a positive energy charge. Of course, after reading information of this kind, a girl, dissatisfied with heterosexual relationships and disappointed in love, will risk trying the forbidden fruit. Often this ends in a long-term union or a bad experience.

Dissatisfaction can be provoked by male egoism, the desire to please himself more than his partner. Therefore, the female subconscious erects a kind of wall in front of relationships with representatives of the stronger sex, which forces the individual to radically change his sexual orientation.

Men's joys10

Why does a man love a man? Probably it’s a matter of internal insecurity and discomfort. Next to a guy, a representative of the stronger sex experiences a feeling of warmth and understanding. It’s like he’s behind a “strong wall” where he won’t be offended or pushed away, but will be hugged and caressed. The same large, calloused hands.

Next to such a person, a man does not have to be strong and confident. He can indulge in weaknesses and sorrows, become despondent, cry, express feelings. It’s more difficult with women: they are insidious, sarcastic, too mysterious and incomprehensible. A guy needs to have a third eye and a sixth sense to determine where his partner’s erogenous zones are, how an orgasm is achieved, and why an annoying facial expression appears during sex. It's easier with men. His body is the same as his partner’s, there is more than enough understanding of each other: as they say - a soul mate.

From a physiological point of view, the erogenous zones in men are located in the anus. Anal sex, caressing this area with the tongue, gives the guy unearthly pleasure. Not every young lady has the desire and ability to caress a man the way he wants, and a “gay boy” knows all the secrets about secret pleasure.

About love between women: psychological trauma

This factor includes both emotional and physical violence, as well as misunderstanding on the part of a person’s environment, child and teenage cruelty. Family is the main social factor influencing personal development. A negative attitude towards a girl in childhood, abuse from the father, his betrayal or sexual violence - all this in the future affects the preferences of an adult in terms of sexual orientation.

A woman’s love for a woman can develop not only thanks to “ghosts” from childhood and psychological trauma received during this period. The first negative sexual experience with a man, ridicule and bullying from peers of the opposite sex leave an unfillable hole in a woman’s psyche. For her, communication with a man becomes painful, and intimacy becomes something unnatural and unpleasant. In connection with this, a woman begins to seek solace in a relationship with a representative of the same sex.

Psychologists believe that the love of two women, based on psychological trauma and fears received at any stage of human development, does not bring positive emotions; it is a psychological problem that requires correction, and in some cases, treatment.

More than friendship...

It is important to distinguish love from simple sympathy. And having decided on a relationship, you should take into account its possible pros and cons.

How to distinguish passion from true feeling

Passion prevails at the first stage of rapprochement. This is a period of intense love, when a person idealizes a partner and does not notice vices. The companions still don’t know each other well. Sexual desire comes to the fore. It is strong sexual experiences that are called passion.

Love is deep affection. A loving person perceives his partner more consciously: he loves his strengths and accepts his weaknesses. This closeness arises due to the partners having common interests and the same values. Long lasting relationships are built when there is a balance of passion and true love.

To distinguish between deep feeling and passion, you need to ask yourself a series of questions . Psychologists recommend that every person in love ask themselves:

does he become better next to his partner (true love motivates to develop, and the other half should support; passion is associated with a restriction of freedom, so it brings destruction);
who is considered the main one in a couple (in true love people are equal, they give and receive a lot unselfishly; if only one partner enjoys attention and gifts, this is not love);
what he likes about his chosen one (passion admires appearance, and love admires personality);
whether he remains himself next to his soul mate (in true love, masks are unacceptable; lovers reveal their secrets to each other);
is he ready to live life next to his beloved (passion is a temporary attraction; love is a more permanent feeling, on the basis of which many manage to create a strong, long-lasting union);
whether, after the passion has cooled, the need for kisses remains (many couples, by inertia, have sex without kissing at all; if the feelings remain, the desire to kiss will not disappear).

READ What is most important in a relationship: expectations, reality and advice from psychologists

Possible difficulties

It is important to consider the disadvantages of such a connection. For example:

bullying in society;
lack of opportunity to officially marry (lovers can cohabit, but lose legal privileges: financial assistance, the opportunity to adopt a child);
procreation (such a couple cannot give birth to a common baby, and two girls do not have the right to adopt a child in their homeland).

Undoubted advantages

You can name the advantages of such a union. For example:

high-quality intimate life (women better understand each other’s needs, therefore in same-sex unions sex is considered to be of higher quality);
trust (girls are more likely to remain faithful and try to build strong monogamous relationships);
common interests (it’s easier for a lady to find a person with similar tastes among representatives of her sex; while women’s and men’s hobbies are less likely to coincide);
support (girls are able to support, sympathize, and give wise advice; guys are less likely to show compassion);
understanding (a woman understands other women well, because the psychology of the female sex is one; many conflicts in opposite-sex couples are associated with differences in their psychology).

When the feelings are not mutual

If you can’t accept rejection, you can make friends and stay close. Through friendship, you need to demonstrate to your chosen one the advantages of same-sex relationships (comfort, harmony, common interests, reliability, support, trust). If a girl is heterosexual, she will be attracted to stereotypical masculine qualities in another girl (strength, courage, confidence, restraint, independence). The chosen one must make sure that her friend is internally more courageous than many men.

You shouldn’t be intrusive and beg the girl for leniency. This will turn her off. It’s better not to show emotions, but to become that “protector” and “reliable shoulder.” This will not interfere with friendship, and the girl she loves may one day look at her friend with different eyes. You can sometimes unobtrusively hint at feelings (beautiful deeds, touching touches and glances).

It’s worth checking how a girl feels about touching and hugging. If she doesn’t push you away and answers with pleasure, you can allow yourself these interactions. Girls often become attached to other people through touch. They become attached to human warmth and care. But all this can take a lot of time. If the feelings are unbearable, and the refusal causes severe pain, it is better to break off contacts, get over the illness and move on with your life. In most cases, time heals a broken heart.

Woman with girl: love and sex. Attitude of men

Most representatives of the stronger half of humanity have a positive attitude towards the love and intimacy of two women. This is associated with erotic fantasies, where girls participate in sexual games, and the man is a direct observer and sometimes a participant in intercourse.

Some believe that individuals with similar sexual preferences are excellent friends and companions for men. However, in reality, everything can be different: in addition to being gay, women can be ardent fans of feminism and, as a result, haters of males.

The love of beautiful women for each other can be perceived negatively. Among men who do not accept any manifestation of homosexuality, including female homosexuality, it is generally accepted that a person should follow his original purpose - creating a family and procreation, and any discrepancy with natural attitudes and instincts is a manifestation of mental abnormalities. Similar opinions are also found among heterosexual women, but the weaker sex is more inclined to sympathize and pity people with a different sexual orientation.

Features of the relationship between two women

There are different connections between women: friendship, enmity, love, sympathy. Some feelings may hide others. To recognize falling in love, you should pay attention to its typical signs.

Main types

In the psychology of human relationships, there are several types of interactions. These include:

Competition (especially for an attractive partner). Girls unconsciously strive to be more attractive and charismatic than other representatives of their gender. Sometimes rivals fake friendship in order to keep their rival closer.
Friendship, which is necessary for girls of different ages to discuss women's topics, support, and mutual assistance. This type of intimacy occurs when individuals feel comfortable with each other and have common hobbies.
Sympathy is a weak attachment that can develop into a deep feeling. Partners try to keep in touch; one can look up to the other. But such relationships can easily end.
Love between two women is not uncommon. Some call such closeness a mental deviation or simply a whim. But there are many examples of long-term deep affection between ladies. They claim that their feeling is not like ordinary sympathy or friendship. In the modern world there are more and more open same-sex unions. Sometimes this is their rational decision, and sometimes it is a natural attraction.

Signs of falling in love

Many lovers behave the same way. Signs of this feeling in girls:

Stealthily looks at the object of adoration. It's worth trying to catch the observer off guard. If a girl is somewhere nearby, you need to suddenly look at her. If she is embarrassed and lowers her eyes, she may be in love. It's worth checking this a few times to confirm your guess.
Arranges “random” meetings. An unknown girl may often visit another girl without any apparent purpose. At the same time, she simply observes or tries to speak. It could also be suspiciously frequent meetings in different places. It is worth paying attention to how often these unplanned “collisions” occur during the day. To see her beloved, a girl can study her schedule, favorite places and habits. Arrange your schedule so as to intersect with your chosen one.
She gets embarrassed when her lover smiles at her. To check whether a woman has feelings, you should smile at her, looking into her eyes. If she calmly looked away, it means there are no feelings. Embarrassment, blushing, excitement and fearfully averted eyes indicate falling in love. The “smile method” is especially suitable if it is a girl’s love for a colleague or a girl with whom she studies.
Asks for help: to solve a problem, to get something. So she tries to be alone with the object of her adoration. Often these are simple tasks that a woman can handle on her own. But you shouldn't refuse her. A sharp refusal can be frightening, and she will give up trying to get closer.
She offers help herself. For example, if her chosen one has poor academic performance. She not only worries about her beloved, but is also simply looking for a reason to be with her.

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Religion

Almost all official world religions consider homosexuality a sin. Despite the loyalty of modern society in Western countries towards LGBT people, most Christian and Catholic churches, as well as Islam, do not accept individuals who openly declare their sexual preferences in favor of people of the same sex. Religious foundations say that such phenomena are a fall from grace, since God originally intended marriage, the union of the loving hearts of a man and a woman, which gives rise to new life.

However, recently in some Catholic churches and communities there has been a tendency to accept homosexuality as such and openly support sexual minorities.

Psychology of relationships between a woman and a woman - which type of behavior is more constructive

For the female half, friendship is a constructive way of communication. Compared to other types, it helps maintain a stable emotional state, relieve tension, stress, and blocks the causes of depression that develops under the weight of life’s problems.

Psychologists have proven that friendship between women risks being severed under the influence of the following circumstances:

marriage or a close relationship with a man (the friend devotes more time to her partner, gives priority to starting a family, which distances her from her previous hobbies);
the birth of a child - all attention goes to the baby and husband, household issues, family problems.
betrayal - an act committed by one of the friends infringes on the feelings of the other, has immoral overtones towards her, causes negativity, disappointment, and often aggression;
confrontation in a work environment - the path up the career ladder often destroys friendships, because Some of the friends want to become more successful than the rest, to stand out, causing general criticism and negativity.

Typically, friendships are formed from school, when girls communicate based on common interests and hobbies. Growing up together, they study each other's character and temperament and can predict possible reactions to any events.

If such relationships are destroyed under the influence of conditions, it becomes more difficult to find a close friend, because... As an adult, it is not easy to find a person who is close in spirit.

Everyone has their own personal principles, moral principles, values, life attitudes that do not coincide with other people. Young girls tolerate the loss of friendship more easily than older women; they often need the help of a psychologist and the support of their family environment.

What does a relationship look like between two women?

There is an opinion that in same-sex family life, both partners behave like ordinary housewives: they cook, clean, do laundry, spend joint evenings watching melodramas and romantic films, while empathizing with the heroes of the films.

This is far from true. In each of the homosexual couples, relationships are built according to the same principle as in heterosexual couples. One of the women takes a stronger, masculine position, and the other, accordingly, a feminine one. For example, a partner with an expressed desire to protect, protect and provide for the family will work and play the role of a husband. The second will perform basic female duties: cooking, keeping the house clean.

Why there is no true female friendship

The hypothesis that women cannot be friends was invented by men who never question their relationships with each other. The stronger sex calmly assesses the situation and is able to smooth out troubles, while girls cannot forgive even a minor offense.

The first thing that stands between friends is envy. This parameter manifests itself quite sharply, but does not interfere with warm, intimate conversations. However, if a difficult situation arises, you should not expect help from an envious person.

A true close relationship between women presupposes knowledge of all the little things, while men may not be aware of the age and problems of a friend’s children, his troubles in life, communicating only on topics of interest to both. This kind of distance helps guys save their image and face. There is always vulnerability in front of a loved one - after all, she knows all your weaknesses and all your secrets, which can ultimately lead to a blow and serious discord.

From the above, it is clear that it is much easier for men to maintain long-term friendships, they make friends more closely and meaningfully, but if we talk about a critical situation, then a friend will come to the rescue faster than a bosom buddy.

What prevents the fair half from building friendly relationships?

In every communication, at least subconsciously, there is envy, against the background of personal unfulfillment. This leads to disagreements, discussions behind one’s back, and the desire to prove one’s superiority.

When the end comes

Sometimes relationships end for unclear reasons. Some “outgrow” the partnership, others become fixated on their problems, begin to compare, envy, and against this background even hate. In this case, the girl needs to try to let her ex-girlfriend go without accusing her of ingratitude or contempt.

Psychologists' opinion

It is believed that if a person is comfortable in a relationship with a person of the same sex as him, then this does not require any treatment or specialist attention. However, if a person experiences a certain discomfort, does not fail to constantly publicly declare his involvement in a particular sexual minority, and also openly demonstrates his relationships in the presence of minors - these are signs of mental disorders.

It is worth noting that female homosexuality itself is not considered a disease in modern psychology and psychiatry. In most cases, a woman’s attraction to a woman is caused by a defensive reaction to painful relationships with men, dissatisfaction with sex life, and violence. But it also happens that a woman simply meets a person of the same sex, falls in love with him for reasons inexplicable and incomprehensible to her, and creates a couple with him.

Why does love arise between women?

The love between a girl and a girl is often explained by the innate characteristics of a particular person. But sometimes it happens that women consciously choose the other half of their gender. The following factors may influence this decision.

Psychological trauma in childhood

Psychological trauma that was inflicted in childhood can play a certain role. In this case, she is most likely connected with a man. Perhaps at that time the girl faced violence, both towards her mother and towards herself. As a result, she has bad associations at the mere thought of living with a guy. Such girls trust women more, so they look for love from them.

This problem can be solved by contacting a psychologist. Perhaps it will be possible to remove the barrier that has arisen, hostility towards the male sex. Then sexual orientation will be normalized.

Fatigue with relationships with men

The reason why a girl fell in love with her friend may be ordinary sexual curiosity. For example, a woman is simply tired of relationships with guys or she doesn’t get something in them, which is why she quickly loses interest. All this forces some young ladies to take radical measures - to enter into intimate contacts with representatives of the same sex.

At first it may not be love, but simply sympathy, sexual attraction. But over time, more serious feelings may well appear, and the lovers will not want to change anything and return to relationships with men.

Falling in love as a form of imitation and admiration for the object of adoration

Falling in love can arise with a person we admire and want to be like. This also applies to women. A striking example is the situation when a student falls in love with a teacher. After all, the teacher is always smart, knows how to win you over and give good advice. Love arises due to the fact that a girl sees her ideal in the teacher and wants to be like her when she grows up. In addition, a woman’s authority plays a big role, her wisdom, which cannot help but attract.

Such falling in love cannot always be considered a deviation. Most likely, this is just an age-related phenomenon that will pass over time. If a student is in love with a teacher, she will simply have to drown out these emotions. As they grow older they will disappear completely.