When a tiny furry creature appears in our home, we do not think that its life is short-lived and the time will come when it will leave us, leaving an emptiness in our souls. Many people believe that the loss of a pet and a loved one are not equal. However, for children, the elderly and lonely people, the death of a beloved cat is a real emotional trauma that you need to be able to cope with. In the American film “I’ll See You in My Dreams,” one of the characters said a very correct phrase: “It’s hard to lose someone. It doesn't matter how many legs he has..."
How to survive the death of a beloved cat or kitten, and relieve the pain of loss as an adult: advice from a psychologist
Sometimes, coping with the death of a beloved cat is just as difficult as coping with the death of a loved one.
Lonely people experience the death of their pets especially hard. If they get cats and dogs after the death of a husband, wife or child, caring for a small and helpless creature takes away the pain of losing a loved one. And pets become full members of the family.
Such a small family consists of a cat and a mistress or owner. And then the hostess divides a piece of sausage between two, milk is poured out for two, and animal food is bought personally for the pet. You can also knit socks and blouses for him so that he doesn’t freeze when it’s cool in the apartment.
Animals are capable of feeling such care and more than give their owner their love and affection instead. The pedigree of the cat or dog in this case does not matter. And outbred Ryzhiki, picked up on the street, will compete with any purebred cat in terms of their quality of life.
Cat as a full member of the family
If for some reason an animal dies, how can you cope with the death of your beloved cat if the whole world goes away with its passing? This is not an exaggeration of the condition of a person whose cat died, but a real picture of the depression that a person falls into.
- Advice to get a new kitten does not work in this case, because the person is experiencing very severe mental pain, and the new animal will remind you that quite recently there was another cat in this house.
- Advice to take sedative medications, or to spend more time in the fresh air, also does not work because the person rejects any attempts by friends to bring him out of his state of grief.
- Sometimes people, in their impulse to perpetuate the memory of an animal, bury it in an animal cemetery and erect marble monuments. And there would be nothing unnatural in this if the person were not completely immersed in a state of severe depression.
In this case, there is only one way to survive the death of a beloved cat, and it is that a person accepts the loss, accepts his grief and learns to live without his pet.
Each new day we live will gradually move us away from the black date. Each new day will bring a little relief and bring the time closer when you can get a new animal or find solace in other activities. Sometimes in such cases the advice that helps is to adopt a cat from an animal shelter. Orphan cats in such shelters are similar to orphans in orphanages.
How to cope with the death of your beloved cat
Should I blame myself?
When something bad happens, we humans tend to blame ourselves. And this is natural. I think you did everything you could. The illness required a visit to the veterinarian. And doctors, no matter how trivial it may be, are also just people, although with special knowledge, they are not immune from mistakes. It is quite understandable that you do not know how to trust doctors now and regret that you listened to them. These are natural feelings in such a situation. Accept them - you have the right to feel this way. There is no need to deny your feelings or question them. But how to deal with them?
How to cope with the death of a beloved animal?
- Tears
help release grief, so don't hold back.
Still, you shouldn’t suffer too much, so if your emotions run high, you can take a sedative
. I recommend contacting a specialist so that he can prescribe the optimal remedy for your case and the correct dosage. - Organizing a decent funeral
for your loved one will allow you to take your mind off worries and will be the first step in getting over the loss. Choose a suitable place so that you can visit him if you want. This could be an animal cemetery or some secluded corner. - Immediately take all the things
that remind you of your pet: his toys, bowls, bed. This may be difficult to do, but it is necessary so as not to torture yourself. You should also change your habits a little. For example, if you always sat in a certain chair where your pet used to come to jump on your lap, choose a different seat for the time being. - Clean
the house so that not a hair is left. Otherwise, each such discovery will cause a storm of emotions and worries. - Drive away
from yourself
thoughts
related to how the animal lived its last minutes or days, how it suffered. Try to recall in your memory the moments when you played, how your pet made you laugh and how funny it was. This will cause an involuntary smile and a feeling of his presence. - It’s better not to grieve alone - talk
with loved ones
about the loss
, find online forums where people share their grief. Empathize, tell your story. - Keep a diary
. Writing about your feelings is an effective way to organize them and cope with the loss. - Start drawing
, try
writing poetry
or expressing yourself artistically in some other way. - Maybe now is the time to go to a shelter
where animals need your help? - Exercise
definitely helps cope with feelings of grief. You can simply walk until exhaustion every day to relieve the burden of negative feelings that weigh down your soul. This will also help you understand and accept the loss.
How to help a child or teenager survive death or the loss of a beloved cat or kitten: advice from a psychologist
If a child is having a hard time with the death of a beloved cat, the parents bear a double burden. They themselves need to cope with the pain of their pet’s passing into another world and help a child or teenager in such a difficult situation.
It is impossible to compare the experiences of adults and children, because children do not yet have experience of such situations and may have a vulnerable soul.
How to help your child cope with the death of a beloved cat:
- If parents have a trusting relationship with their child or teenager, then the joint work of parents and child, not so much with the body, but with the soul, can help in this situation. Strive to be your child's friend in any situation.
- If the baby is crying and upset , you need to try to distract him from sad thoughts, for example, by going to his favorite places for walking outside. It will be better if you do not meet cats in these places.
- Some parents immediately run for a new kitten. This is not entirely the right decision. Just like adults, a child must go through the pain of loss . He must overcome this loss and become a little stronger and older.
But, if the period of grief has dragged on and the child himself wants to get a new pet, perhaps it is worth meeting him halfway. After all, childhood depression is more difficult to treat than adult depression.
A new cat is a cure for depression
The death of a cat is my fault - I feel guilty before the dead cat: what to do, how to live?
Very often, people realize how important a cat was to them only after losing it. And this feature is inherent not only after the loss of an animal, but also after the departure of a loved one.
Love is also ephemeral, it cannot be held in chains, and only when it leaves along with those who loved us do we begin to suffocate from the lack of love. And sometimes it doesn’t matter whether a cat or a person loved us. After the death of the creatures we love, it can be very painful. If a feeling of guilt is added to grief, then it becomes simply an unbearable burden.
I feel guilty about the deceased cat, what to do, how to live - such thoughts are typical for people with a heightened sense of responsibility for pets.
Such self-flagellation will not bring the pet back, but will block the way for the person to be able to have a pet again. Perhaps you are exaggerating your guilt somewhat? And you need to think about the fact that new happiness will come to your home with a new cat? Just wait a little, time will pass, the pain will dull, and you will again be able to give affection to your new pet.
Should I get another pet right away?
This is a controversial issue, and psychologists have differing opinions. Having lost a pet, many owners try to plug the hole that has formed in their hearts by immediately adopting another pet. For some, it actually helps them deal with grief. The person directs all his energy to caring for the new resident and no longer constantly thinks about his loss. If a puppy or kitten appears in the house, there is a lot more hassle, and there is less time to dwell on your problems.
But such a quick arrival of a new pet into a family does not always bring joy. The owner must understand that animals have their own personalities. Whether an animal has a personality is a highly controversial issue. But definitely every living creature has an individual set of habits and qualities. Therefore, by getting a new pet, you will not bring back your dead pet. There is no exact copy; your friend has already left you. If the new animal is too different from the one that died, the owner may feel disappointed and irritated. A new family member will no longer please, because he is not able to replace a deceased friend.
If your pet has died, you must first realize that he is irreplaceable. You must come to terms with its death and only after that plan for the addition of a new pet to the family. This way, it will be easier for you to accept your new pet for who he is, without looking back at the past.
How to let go of a dead cat, how to deal with depression after the death of a cat, how to calm down?
If you don’t know how to let go of a dead cat, and thoughts about it haunt you, it’s best to consult your friends on this topic . Your friends probably have similar experience, and often it gives much more valuable advice than the experience of psychologists who can judge such a problem only from a medical point of view.
Crying to a friend and telling him about your problem can be very useful because by voicing your sad thoughts, you direct yourself to a constructive solution to the problem. If you don’t have such a friend, you can chat with people who have encountered a similar problem on a forum for cat lovers.
The main thing is not to get hung up on this, and the question of how to deal with depression after the death of a cat, how to calm down, will no longer worry you.
The best remedy for depression
Symptoms of bereavement
In addition to all the familiar reactions, such as tears and sadness, there are other manifestations of grief, which, if not known, can be mistaken for lack of concentration, eccentricity, and other qualities. Among the main manifestations of grief are the following:
- Physiological. Physiological symptoms of acute negative experiences include a painful feeling of tightness in the chest area, a feeling of emptiness in the abdomen, spasms in the throat and the feeling of a lump stuck in it;
A lump in the throat is an eternal companion of acute emotional experiences
- Behavioral. A person experiencing grief often seems inconsistent and inattentive. His gaze can be described as absent, absent-minded. The inability to concentrate on business often irritates household members or colleagues, which leads to painful conflicts. Other manifestations include insomnia, which further increases absent-mindedness;
- Cognitive. A grieving person may encounter unusual holes in his memory, confused thoughts that do not want to take on concrete shape. Difficulty focusing and concentrating is common. The person seems to be “not here”;
Absent-mindedness always affects performance, which leads to additional conflicts
- Emotional. The feeling of loneliness that accompanies people who have experienced loss is accompanied by a heightened awareness of their own helplessness, causeless anxiety and all-encompassing guilt, to which the person indulges.
When will the pain of the loss, the tragic death of a cat, go away?
The pain of the loss, the tragic death of a cat, will not go away in one day. In one day this pain will decrease. Unfortunately, there are no instruments that measure mental pain and there is no miracle pill that, when taken, can help you find yourself in another reality.
Based on the experience of people who have lost their beloved pets, we can say that a month after the tragedy, the pain will significantly ease, and six months later, new excitement, impressions and new pets will completely change your life. If you cannot forget the death of your pets for a long time, you may need qualified help from a psychologist.
Why does a cat die, what does it take with it: signs
A cat can die from old age and illness, die tragically under the wheels of a car, and only in very rare cases does an animal die due to the carelessness of its owners.
Sometimes you can read that a cat dies not by accident and its death takes the owner’s problems with it.
Signs about cats
Indeed, the spiritual connection between a cat and its owner can be so strong that the death of one of this pair causes the spiritual collapse of the one who outlived his friend. Moreover, cats can also suffer if their owner dies.
If death separated those who loved each other, then the time has come for grief and loneliness . Don’t think that this black streak in your life is forever. Get over this grief, suffer through it, there is no other way, and believe that love awaits you ahead. After all, even a small cat can give you great love.
Does an animal have a soul?
Not long ago, everyone loved the cartoon “All Dogs Go to Heaven.” Is this so? Many believe that yes, when dying, animals run over the rainbow. And they live eternal life together with a person who has been awarded eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven.
If an Orthodox clergyman asks whether animals have a soul, the answer will be as follows: animals do not have an immortal soul. A person continues to live after death, but an animal simply disappears after its death. His soul dissolves. It’s hard to believe and I don’t want to accept this truth. Everyone wants to believe that their beloved Murka, who lived with the kittens, will always be there.
It’s worth repeating, the problem with people is that they humanize animals, try to give them some character traits, predict what a dog, cat or mouse might be thinking about. Television and the attitude towards animals as equal creatures, ingrained in childhood, from cartoons, are partly to blame. All fairy tales, all animated series were built on allegory (through the animal world). Then foreign films appeared about dogs, cats, pigs who communicate with each other, make friends, and build some kind of relationship.
And we accept this fiction as reality. Therefore, parting with your favorites causes as much grief as saying goodbye to a loved one. “We are responsible for those we have tamed” is the most correct quote taken from the work of Antoine De Saint-Exupéry “The Little Prince”. Provide a comfortable life, care and love for a small defenseless creature, but do not try to put him on the same level as a spouse, child, mother.
There is an excellent instructive story for boys on this topic on the Internet: first you should feed your mother, because she is a girl, then the cat, because he depends on us and cannot feed himself, and only then can men sit down at the table.
How to survive the death of a pet cat: reviews
Reviews on how to survive the death of a pet:
- Evgeniy, 20 years old: When our cat got sick, my parents, mother and stepfather, treated her. And more than 10 thousand rubles were spent on treatment. The cat died anyway. A few months later I fell ill and was admitted to the hospital. My parents didn’t give me anything for treatment. Why such injustice? Some people value cats more than their own children.
- Elena, 50 years old: My cat died at the hands of a neighbor. Moreover, he poisoned not only her, but also her kittens. Of course, I wanted to apply lynching to this neighbor. Because punishment for people who abuse animals does not work. In fact, such people go unpunished. I was depressed for a long time.
- Natalya, 40 years old. My beloved cat disappeared a week ago. She jumped out into the entrance when I entered the apartment. I couldn't catch up with her. It’s a pity for her, because she has never left the apartment and doesn’t know how to live on the street at all. And I go every day looking for her. The worst thing is not knowing whether she is alive or not.
