Shopping always evokes vivid emotions: pleasant aromas, beautiful displays, designer items, the opportunity to please yourself with new clothes - all this allows you to forget about your problems for a while and immerse yourself in the luxury of the fashion world. But there are people for whom shopping has turned from a harmless hobby or a way to have a good time into a real addiction.
Victoria Orlova, a psychologist specializing in emotional disorders, told us about what causes the need to constantly shop and whether shopaholism can be cured.
What is oniomania
Shopaholism, or, as it is also called, oniomania, is not a separate psychological disease, but rather a type of emotional disorder.
Emotional distress occurs against a background of anxiety or depression, when a person perceives some life circumstances in a negative light. This causes long-term stress. As a result, we may develop various addictions and bad habits: dependence on alcohol, drugs, cigarettes. The same applies to shopaholism.
Interestingly, women are more susceptible to oniomania than men. The stronger sex is more likely to experience addiction to alcohol, nicotine, and computer games. Although there are also shopaholic men.
What is shopaholism and what are its causes?
Shopaholism is a persistent psychological dependence on the process of shopping.
But its basis is physiological. Shopping affects the brain of a shopaholic in the same way that drugs affect the brain of an addict. In both cases, the next “dose” causes a rapid release of the joy hormone. The purchased item may be completely unnecessary for the buyer. The very process of choosing, finding a product, paying for it and the culminating moment of the feeling of acquisition makes the knees of store neurotics tremble with happiness.
Therefore, anyone can become a shopologist, regardless of their financial situation. This could be a multi-billionaire ordering another yacht, or a poor person buying holey slippers at a second-hand store.
But the worst thing about shopaholism is not the financial consequences. The value system that has developed among those suffering from shopping addiction is amazing. Why does the greatest joy in this world come to a person from such an insignificant and completely meaningless action as a purchase? Psychologists explain this as compensation for the lack of positive emotions in life.
In any case, the problem lies entirely in the emotional sphere of a person. Therefore, attempts to cure a patient by resorting to logical arguments are powerless here. A shopaholic knows perfectly well that he is behaving stupidly, he is aware of his addiction. Reminding him of her will only irritate him even more.
Now we are talking about a severe form of shopaholism, when a person almost cannot control his actions. However, a shopaholic lives in each of us. If you feel that you frequently visit an online store without a specific purpose, but as a result you end up overstocked with all sorts of rubbish, perhaps you should listen to tips on combating shopaholism.
How addiction is formed
The need to constantly make purchases arises gradually. For example, while under stress, a person might walk into a store and experience the relief of shopping for the first time. At the same time, his level of serotonin, the hormone of happiness, increased, and the brain, based on the principle of a conditioned reflex, remembered this.
Shopping becomes a kind of ritual, and the brain gets used to receiving relief and pleasant emotions through shopping. The next time a person begins to experience negative emotions, the subconscious will immediately tell you where to go to get a release.
Origins of addiction
Shopaholics often grow up in families where parents pay too much attention to material well-being. They simply have neither time nor energy left for children, so they compensate for the lack of parental love with gifts. This is how a child learns from childhood to measure love with money.
The second category of shopaholics, on the contrary, grew up in poverty. As soon as such a person has money, he immediately spends it thoughtlessly, trying to get more of everything that he was previously deprived of.
The third and largest group of shopaholics are children of authoritarian parents. They grow up unsure of themselves. With purchases they try to compensate for their lack of love.
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Shopaholism develops only if the cult of money prevails in the family. If mom and dad instill in the child eternal values from childhood, explain that pleasure can be brought not only by shopping, but also by intangible joys (creativity, sports, art, communication with nature, friendship, love), then their children receive “vaccination” against shopaholism.
Therefore, try to spend not only money on children, but also time.
Internet shopaholism
Shopaholism is spreading due to the availability of online shopping. Open tabs, constant email reminders, beautiful pictures - all this allows you to quickly make purchases.
The big problem is that purchases are made by non-cash payment. When we constantly pay with a card, our expenses double: we don’t feel like we’re giving away money. Therefore, it is best to pay in cash: we feel sorry for parting with it, and we begin to think more rationally.
Symptoms of oniomania - how to see the line where shopping ends and shopaholism begins
The desire to shop, the desire to have a certain thing is typical of all impulsive disorders. Unfortunately, part of the process is a phase of doubt and repentance. The shopaholic regrets spending money on this item, reproaches himself for a thoughtless purchase, etc.
Warning signs of the onset of the disorder:
- Careful, even exaggerated preparation for shopping (the person worries about appearance “suitable” for shopping).
- Obsession with discounts, sales.
- The appearance of a feeling of disappointment, remorse for the money spent after the initial euphoria.
- Shopping is accompanied by joy and excitement, not much different from sexual excitement.
- Unplanned purchases, i.e. purchasing unnecessary things that are not taken into account in the budget (often there is not enough money for them).
- Lack of space to store purchased goods.
- Finding a reason to shop (holiday, improving your mood, etc.).
Serious symptoms that indicate the presence of the disorder include lying to a partner or family about recently purchased items, hiding purchases, or destroying other evidence of shopping.
What could be the reason
One of the most common reasons is the need for positive emotions. Shopaholism is formed against the background of a feeling of inner emptiness, and with the help of purchases a person tries to fill it.
People often relieve stress when they have problems at work or tension in their relationships. A situation may arise when a woman wants to punish her partner with the help of shopping. Then she goes to the store and spends all the money from the card to which his account is linked, in order to take revenge for his bad attitude.
Another reason is the desire to assert oneself with clothes from luxury brands and expensive accessories, and in this case problems with self-esteem are usually observed.
People who are experiencing financial difficulties often become shopaholics. Against this background, stress develops, which they try to cope with through shopping. They take out loans for purchases, which leads to dire consequences.
The opposite situation is also possible – the desire to feel control over one’s own life. When making expensive purchases, people try to convince themselves that they can afford to buy an expensive, albeit unnecessary item.
Manifestations of shopaholism in humans
Signs of the disease of shopaholism may not be noticed immediately.
The person tries to carefully disguise all purchases as necessary and hides the disorder even from himself. That is why its early diagnosis is extremely difficult. Moreover, symptoms may differ from person to person, depending on their individual characteristics. We can distinguish only a few main groups of symptoms of oniomania, which are found in the vast majority of shopaholics:
- Looking out
. Simple shopping trips bring pure pleasure to such people. Attractively arranged goods, neat packaging, and an abundance of things allow you not to limit yourself in choice and enjoy the moment to the fullest. A person who is not prone to shopaholism will take a more pragmatic approach to choosing the item he likes, compare it with others and leave with the purchase. In this case, a shopaholic must examine the entire assortment, feel it, stroke it, and twirl it in his hands. The importance of this process is almost irreplaceable for him. This is why you rarely see shopaholics in an online store, where they are deprived of such joy. - Non-core
. A person suffering from this disorder will definitely go into those departments of the store that are not even remotely interesting to him. For example, a woman who does not have children will explore almost the entire range of children's clothing simply because she can do it. Or it could be a fishing rack, where a person doesn’t recognize anything among the goods. Despite this, the desire to view the offered product is no less than when visiting the current department for a specific person. Unfortunately, oniomania does not choose which product to buy. For a person suffering from this disorder, it doesn’t matter at all what exactly to buy, the main thing is to do it. - Irritability
. If a shopaholic is unable to go to the store or is forced to leave it without looking through all the departments, he is overtaken by a storm of emotions that are difficult to control. Most often it is apathy, insomnia, irritability, but sometimes it even leads to aggression. People who are prevented from making a purchase do not mince words and are ready to defend their right to purchase anything. In the case when a person does not have enough money for the thing he likes, he is haunted by a depressive mood and loss of strength. He will try to find funds anywhere, just to drown out the inner emptiness of a failed shopping experience. - Inconsistency
. For most shopaholics, the price of a product plays a secondary role. This is just a number that separates them from the joy of shopping. And often such people do not think about how much money they have to spend. An important symptom of shopaholism should be considered the discrepancy between the price category of purchased items and what this person can afford, taking into account his income. That is, small joys in the form of purchases significantly reduce a person’s budget and cause various financial difficulties, but for the person himself this is not so important. The main thing is to satisfy the need.
How to understand that you have a shopaholism
There are several criteria that will help distinguish an ordinary person who just loves to shop from a shopaholic.
- A healthy person clearly understands why he goes to the store and what he wants to buy.
- He only buys what he really needs.
- He won't be upset because he couldn't get to the store today.
- He can easily leave the store without making a single purchase.
A shopaholic will visit stores aimlessly: he has a need to just be inside. He will buy both necessary and useless things, while he feels an emotional uplift and gets rid of fatigue and tension.
If you see that your loved one spends all his time in shopping centers or on online shopping sites, he accumulates loans and credits, he constantly borrows money and his closets are bursting - this is a reason to sound the alarm and try to help cope with the disorder.
Description and mechanism of development of oniomania
Almost all people love to go shopping and buy new things. Naturally, this does not happen as often as we would like. The simple human joy of a purchase slightly dulls a significant gap in the budget, so such a reflex is necessary.
Almost every day a person has to make various purchases to ensure his livelihood and comfortable existence. Starting from food, clothing and ending with equipment for various purposes. Usually, the more expensive the purchase, the more carefully it is planned, weighing its expected benefits and price. The decision is made taking into account the individual's income. In most cases, a purchase brings short-term satisfaction of one’s own needs and joy if the purchase has been planned for a long time.
For shopaholics, things are a little different. What brings them joy and satisfaction is not the thing itself, but the purchasing process. Shopaholics do not tend to spend a long time looking at store shelves for their goals. Usually they react to any advertised products that are under dubious promotions. Very often, such people can pay attention to completely unnecessary things and buy them just like that. Naturally, such a lifestyle takes a noticeable toll on the budget, and a person needs to earn more and more to satisfy his oniomania.
Shopaholism develops like other addictions, along with alcoholism and drug addiction. An irresistible desire to perform one or another action, which intensifies with each attempt, leads to the formation of a persistent psychological habit. It has a detrimental effect on such people and gradually destroys the relationships in their lives. In particular, shopaholism leads to problems in the family; a person can take out loans without the ability to pay them off.
The modern world has more and more people addicted to shopping. Relatively recently, there were practically no shopaholics in the post-Soviet space. Over time, people received a huge selection of goods in the store, bright leaflets with promotional purchases and enticing packaging. They skillfully push those buyers who are at least a little inclined to purchase the item they like.
Thus, in modern market conditions, the development of oniomania is very likely. Therefore, you need to know exactly how to get rid of shopaholism if you or someone close to you suffers from it.
How to get rid of shopaholism
A person usually realizes that he has become a shopaholic. Some are even proud of it and tell their friends and acquaintances. But at the same time he feels that he cannot do anything in this situation. This is why the myth arose that oniomania cannot be treated - they simply do not try to treat it and live with this problem.
People turn to a psychologist when they develop depression due to shopaholism: due to the fact that too much money is spent on unnecessary things, scandals begin in the family, and debts need to be repaid. And this is already a very advanced stage, which requires the help of a specialist.
At the same time, it cannot be said that the person himself is not able to cope with the problem. Even when working with a psychologist, the patient must first of all cope on his own. Psychotherapy is not a panacea, but with a psychologist, the recovery process will proceed much faster.
First of all, during therapy you need to find the cause of addiction and learn to satisfy your needs in an environmentally friendly manner. Any addiction is formed due to unrecognized needs. Someone may eat away their problems, relieve stress with alcohol and shopping, but in fact want love or recognition. And here it is important to understand what need you have not fulfilled. When you learn to recognize your desires and realize them, your shopping addiction will disappear.
The main reasons for shopaholism
There are a lot of etiological factors in the development of shopaholism, since any psychological problems and complexes can affect a person’s will.
He becomes completely weak and defenseless against the temptations of the outside world. Such sensitive individuals are prone not only to the development of oniomania, but also to other addictions. That is why shopaholism must be diagnosed in time, before the disorder has time to develop into another form. The main reasons for the formation of shopping addiction:
- Children's problems
. Very often, specific factors can be found in the history of shopaholics that can provoke the development of addiction. This usually happens if in childhood a child did not receive enough maternal attention, he was rarely bought new toys. Children's envy of others plays an important role in preschool, on the playground or just in the yard. Children subtly react to the injustice of the outside world and feel its slightest changes. Those who have suffered from lack of parental attention may in the future try to compensate for it with pleasant purchases for themselves. And such replacement over time flows into the dependence of receiving joyful emotions from the acquisition of certain things. - Depressed mood
. A favorable background for the formation of shopaholism is the presence of depressive personality changes. That is, if a person tends to be in a bad mood, an extra dose of serotonin is perceived as a drug for him. And shopping is a well-known source of happiness, under the influence of which the hormone of joy is synthesized. Thus, shopaholism becomes an individual antidepressant that relieves secondary symptoms and improves a person’s well-being. But, more often than not, the problem of depression remains, manifests itself in other, more complex situations and is no longer so easy to correct. - Low self-esteem
. This option should be mentioned as a separate point in the etiology of the development of shopaholism. It is people with low self-esteem who most often succumb to promotions, discounts, bonus systems and other attractive events. Moreover, enthusiastic responses from sales consultants, their flattery and desire to help create the impression that the person is cared for and worried about. Thus, low self-esteem receives at least some compensation. The ability to acquire any item temporarily gives a person power over a small part of his life, gives him the opportunity to choose and control. This is extremely important for a person with low self-esteem, which is why this type most often suffers from oniomania. - Stress
. This factor is also very important among the causes of shopaholism. The presence of constant stressful situations at work, an unfavorable environment at home, as well as problems with relationships in the family, with friends, etc. represent a universal set of factors that force a person to become attached to something else. This is how addictions are formed, including oniomania. A person tries to realize himself in at least something and leans towards the most pleasant and easy option - shopping. The ability to choose the thing you like makes you feel important and free. Such a person seems to be freed from conventions and problems in his personal life, career and is distracted by shopping. Over time, this method ceases to be effective, but becomes a new addiction and problem.
Ways to fight
Group therapy - a method of combating shopaholism
A person must understand that shopaholism is a disease, which means it needs to be fought. Otherwise, you will not get rid of addiction.
- Autotraining. This method of psychotherapy helps people who have realized their problem and are ready to fight it with all their might. A person is given a list of special instructions that must be strictly followed and strictly followed.
- Group classes. Today, more and more people are susceptible to this addiction, so it is not difficult to arrange sessions with the presence of not one, but several people at once. This method allows you to see yourself from the outside, to understand the problem of another person and your own. In addition, being in a group of like-minded people makes the healing process much faster.
- Cognitive behavioral therapy:
- a specialist teaches how to behave in moments of crisis;
- establishes a model of correct behavior;
- explains that all actions must be rational;
- teaches how to react in a given situation;
- discusses possible options for getting rid of addiction.
If shopaholism is not treated, it can lead to serious consequences, financial problems, persistent depression, family destruction, numerous debts, loneliness, and loss of friends.
How to identify a shopaholic: addiction detection test
Sometimes it can be difficult to determine whether a loved one is a shopaholic. Many people simply love shopping - choosing clothes, looking for interesting offers from their favorite brands, keeping an eye on promotions and sales. But all this does not mean that a person exhibits psychological disorders.
Do you suspect that your love of shopping with a loved one is gradually developing into mania? Analyze his behavior. Shopaholism is not just a waste of money. This is also the emotional state of a person when making purchases. It is important to evaluate the entire range of signs indicating oniomania.
We invite you to take a test to understand whether there are grounds for concern in relation to your loved one. [2] Answer “yes” or “no” to 10 statements.
- A person is so passionate about teleshopping that he often orders what he needs and what he doesn’t need from them.
- A loved one, despite all the agreements, often violates the inviolability of his personal or family savings for the sake of making purchases.
- Many of the things a person buys hang in the closet right with the price tags, because he does not wear them.
- A person is aware of all the sales in the nearest supermarkets and certainly goes there to “buy everything on the cheap.”
- A person always buys extremely expensive gifts for friends and relatives, even if he cannot afford it.
- A person constantly borrows money or takes out loans from banks.
- A loved one takes a very long time to pay off accumulated debts, which causes his relationships with friends to deteriorate.
- For a short time after a purchase, a person experiences a feeling of guilt due to thoughtless spending.
- A person constantly hides his real expenses and lies about the number of purchases made.
- A loved one becomes apathetic, irritable or even aggressive if, for one reason or another, they cannot buy something.
Count the number of positive answers. If there are more than 6 of them, your loved one is already close to joining the ranks of shopaholics. Support him and help him overcome his addiction.
The consequences of oniomania are serious!
One of the main pitfalls of shopaholism is borrowing . Borrowers often don't realize that this behavior is very risky; they simply end up in a debt spiral of repeated borrowing. Today there are many lending options, even without proof of income. Because of this, many people find themselves in a situation where they cannot repay their loans.
Over time, other psychological problems arise - such as excessive anxiety, stress, feelings of loneliness, sadness, anger, dissatisfaction, depression, underestimation of the environment. These, in turn, can increase shopping addiction.
Partner or family disagreements are also common.
Causes of shopaholism – why people tend to unnecessary hoarding
Psychologists consider some factors that can increase susceptibility to pathological hoarding. The great contradiction between a person’s real and desired perception of himself (the contradiction between the real and the ideal) is taken into account.
For example, young men who have low self-esteem and are unsure of their role as men may compensate for these shortcomings by excessively purchasing masculine items - weapons, sports equipment, electronics, etc. In this case, we are talking about strengthening low self-esteem with the help of material things. Women also spend the most on items related to their self-esteem - clothes, fashion accessories, cosmetics, jewelry.
“Where is a woman’s G-spot? Probably somewhere at the end of the word “shopping”.
David Ogilvy
It is also interesting to note that the trend towards these problems is clearly seasonal - it is most pronounced in winter.
Characteristic manifestations
Some people have no idea that they have shopaholism. The following manifestations will indicate this:
- often comes the realization that pointless purchases have been made,
- the desire to go to the store occurs at a time of severe stress or due to loneliness, boredom,
- often there is no money for necessary things, the budget is wasted,
- shopping is the only way to escape and unwind,
- while in a store, an insane desire to buy something awakens, there is a loss of control over oneself,
- staying in the store as long as there is money,
- there is a desire to purchase things that a person does not even know about the possibility of using them,
- lengthy discussion of purchases made,
- going to the store just to spend time there,
- feeling of anger, disappointment after making a purchase that turned out to be unnecessary or too expensive,
- a feeling of depression when there is no opportunity to visit the store and an increase in mood when such an opportunity arises.
