However, there is another type of conflict situations when employees begin to psychologically suppress their colleague in order to survive from the team. This is mobbing, and it has little in common with the usual controversial situations that are so often encountered in everyday life. Mobbing often has no logical basis.
It is quite possible that your co-workers simply disliked you at first sight and are seeking your dismissal. How to deal with this?
A co-worker insults, is rude or raises his voice
Under no circumstances should you leave things to chance. Your offender must understand where the boundaries of what is permitted are. Explain to the person that it is simply impossible to shout at you - do it confidently, without a drop of doubt, so that others can also see that you will not allow yourself to be offended.
ADVICE . You should not get personal and behave the same way as a rude colleague - this will put you in an unfavorable light. Why spoil your image for the sake of a momentary argument?
Sometimes it is impossible to resist, but you must try your best - in the workplace you do not need to show your emotionality and dump negativity on your colleagues, coupled with insults and abuse.
What to do if you survive from work?
If you hold a significant position in your organization, then there will probably be a person vying for your place, but who is not able to take it honestly. That is why the employee begins to engage in what he is much better at - psychological violence .
Unfortunately, sometimes this method does work - in the case of emotionally unstable people. A toxic coworker puts pressure on you to piss you off. How to resolve this difficult situation so that you are not unexpectedly fired due to a complaint or gossip from the offender?
- The first thing you should pay close attention to is the quality and quantity of work performed, as well as compliance with deadlines and rules adopted within the team. From now on, you can’t submit projects late, make major mistakes, be late in the morning, or ignore the dress code. Any mistake you make can be used against you. You should monitor your documentation and better protect the contents of your work computer.
- If bullying begins to cross boundaries, it makes sense to contact your boss . Explain to him how things are. It will be great if you provide solid evidence and not just complain about life - rationality in this matter is very important. Perhaps the boss will tell you what to do next or take control of the situation. This way you can at least protect yourself a little in this fight.
There is also an article on our website about what to do when your boss quits work.
Plot to get a new job
To move to a new job, a Christmas plot is carried out, which will attract good luck and give you the desired position in the coming year. For the ritual, they buy a handkerchief on the new moon and in the evening, after sunset, they whisper:
After the conspiracy, you carry the scarf with you, and within a month you can expect a new job. If the wish does not come true, the person is under the evil eye or damage, and it is recommended to repeat the ritual again after 30 days.
Acts arrogantly
Yes, this is very annoying, but by and large, what difference does it make to you how another person positions himself in society? Your task is to carry out your duties competently and effectively, so that there is no need to add fake significance.
IMPORTANT ! You need to react to a colleague’s attacks only if it interferes with your ability to concentrate on work.
A megalomaniac's best weapon is humor: you'll let him know that the world doesn't revolve around him. A couple of witty answers will make the upstart moderate his ardor and help put his colleague in his place.
Destructive conflict, its features and example
If conflict produces positive results, why do many people ask how to avoid conflicts at work? The point is that confrontation can be destructive. This kind of conflict arises often. It interferes with making correct, informed decisions. There is no effective interaction between subjects. As a result, a number of negative consequences are observed.
Competitive relationships develop between people, which does not allow them to achieve the goals set by management. Many problems can only be solved through cooperation and joint efforts. You cannot achieve results alone. At the same time, opponents do not strive for cooperation and cannot establish positive relationships.
Opposing parties perceive each other as hostile. Own positions are regarded as the only correct outcome of the situation. The opinion of the opposite side is assessed as incorrect. On this basis, interaction between the parties is either limited to the maximum or stopped altogether.
A destructive conflict leads to the fact that winning a “victory” over an opponent is much more important than finding a constructive solution acceptable to both parties. The team is dominated by negative emotions, bad mood, and possible development of depression and feelings of dissatisfaction. To prevent such a situation, you need to master the art of overcoming disagreements during a conflict at work.
An example of a destructive confrontation would be a situation in which a real war breaks out between the parties. It can be hidden or obvious. In this case, the parties behave towards each other aggressively, disrespectfully, causing moral or even (in severe cases) physical harm.
Constantly makes fun
Humor is great because with the help of a joke you can solve many problems and contradictions. But everything has a limit. Endless jokes about your appearance, habits, and behavior are a great start to conflict.
Sometimes people simply don’t know how to stop in time: having seen that their colleagues responded well to the previous joke, a person begins to generate the same jokes, only less successful.
ADVICE . Stop responding to your colleague's remarks. Don't smile out of politeness, don't keep up the conversation - give a signal that it's time to change the topic of conversation.
Provokes a quarrel
Most conflicts in the workplace arise from a vague distribution of job responsibilities: everyone feels like they are doing extra tasks, but no one appreciates or pays for it. This happens periodically.
Another question is how colleagues solve this problem. Reasonable people immediately sit down at the negotiating table and calmly discuss how to fairly distribute the load.
But sometimes co-workers deliberately make a mountain out of a mountain and force you to participate in squabbles. How to behave in this case?
- As soon as you lose composure and control over yourself, you will lose everything: first of all, the ability to soberly assess what is happening. In this state, you are very helpless, you are easy to manipulate, and then you will regret your actions. Therefore, calm yourself down until the last minute .
- Don't rush to answer . Always take a short pause before you say anything. As they say, a word is not a sparrow.
- Control your voice . It shouldn't shake or sound too aggressive. Choose the calm intonation of a person who cannot be angered. The faster you speak, the less they listen to you - the colleague sees in front of him an insecure and timid employee who is easy to intimidate.
Causes of the conflict
When considering examples of conflicts at work and ways to resolve them, you should pay attention to the reasons that cause such situations. There may be several of them. Often the cause of serious confrontation is the psychological incompatibility of people. They are forced to work side by side, interacting. For example, if one employee is choleric (active) by psychotype, and the second is melancholic (slow), conflict often arises between such people in the process of working together.
Another common cause of work conflicts is improper distribution of responsibilities. This is the responsibility of management. So, each employee has certain job responsibilities. Sometimes some people start shifting their work to others. On this basis, a conflict arises. Nobody wants to work more while receiving the same salary.
Interpersonal relationships in a team also determine the characteristics of employee interaction. A certain psychological climate develops in the team. It is he who has the greatest influence on the development of conflicts. If hostility arises between two employees, other team members may take the side of one participant or each of them. This makes the situation worse. Having support, a person gains confidence in his abilities and begins to act aggressively. If the team is friendly, it can influence the participants in the conflict. The situation will be resolved faster.
To understand how to avoid conflicts at work, you need to know the mechanisms by which such situations develop. Another common cause of confrontation is misunderstanding. When communicating, people do not always listen to what the interlocutor is telling them, or even interrupt him. Employees should not communicate in this manner when interacting with each other. It is unacceptable. Treating each other with respect is the key to mutual understanding.
Misunderstandings can arise due to people communicating in different languages. This applies not only to nationality. Sometimes it happens that an educated professor is not able to convey his thoughts to a simple worker. The result is misunderstanding. Communication culture and vocabulary largely determine relationships with people.
Clings and finds fault with little things
It happens that a colleague does not give you peace. He constantly finds fault with little things - and such a colleague can be either a man or a woman. You ask yourself why he does this... and you don't find an answer. Here are some tips.
- Behave as naturally and casually as possible : as if nothing is happening. Do not arrange intrigues, do not set other workers against your enemy. Hating your co-workers is the worst thing you can think of.
- Be emphatically polite and courteous . This makes the offender very angry, but at the same time he has nothing to show against you, because you are behaving so nicely! And you can also show that stooping to petty squabbles is absolutely not your level.
- Learn in advance a few simple phrases that can be said automatically: for example, “Are you unhappy with something?”, “Yes, I absolutely understand you,” and others. This will help you pay less attention to another meaningless dialogue.
Sets him up in front of his superiors
If this has not happened yet, try to understand what kind of person is capable of meanness. As a rule, these people are very ambitious, inconspicuous, secretive, striving to be closer to their superiors.
You can easily identify them among your friends. It’s better to stay away from them: you don’t need to discuss other colleagues, comment on your boss’s actions (especially in a negative way), and carefully monitor the safety of your documents and passwords.
IMPORTANT ! If you have already been framed, well, try to prove that you are not guilty. Surely it will be possible to find “material” evidence.
This is not easy to do, and you will be haunted by a feeling of annoyance for a long time, but you need to pull yourself together and calmly take measures so that the dirty trick does not happen again in the near future.
A short conversation with the director can also help - if you are in good standing, then they will definitely listen to you. I recommend taking a look at the article on how to behave with your boss.
How to avoid conflicts and protect yourself from angry employees?
- The first rule is do not mix office life with home life , do not be frank with colleagues. These are just people who work with you under the same roof and have certain ambitions - to some extent, they always see you as a competitor.
- Clearly define your responsibilities : for clarity, you can even print out the list and hang it above your workplace so that unnecessary questions do not arise.
- Do not involve others in an acute conflict if it concerns a very narrow group of people. This is a very contagious “disease”, and it will not lead to anything good.
- Try to sincerely find an approach to each offender . There is no need to love, adore these people, or visit them. Not at all necessary. It is enough that you can comfortably exist in the same space and respect each other.
- In an effort to protect yourself, do not become too withdrawn . Nobody forbids you to sort things out with your colleagues or argue about new projects - sometimes it’s even useful. The main rule is not to insult colleagues and never launch an “attack” yourself.
An example of interpersonal conflict
There are different types of conflicts. Confrontation can arise between colleagues or between employees and their boss. A way out of the situation must be sought depending on the current situation. Conflicts at work with colleagues and superiors can arise as follows between two people.
This is the most common type of confrontation. Each member of the work team has unique personal qualities. It is impossible to select people who are completely psychologically compatible and who would efficiently perform the tasks assigned to them. The reasons for conflicts between two colleagues can be very different.
When considering examples of conflicts at work with colleagues, it is worth paying attention to several typical situations. For example, disputes may arise between a superior and a subordinate. The positions of both sides are clear. The director believes that the subordinate is doing nothing. The employee claims that the manager is a despot. If a conflict arises between two colleagues, the cause may be personal hostility or competition.
