What would you do - whether it concerns life or work - if you were not afraid of anything? Such a simple question awakens countless fantasies, desires and regrets.
If the fear of failure or seeming like a complete idiot has ever held you back from doing what your heart called for, you will need some very important advice from business consultant Sandya Bruegmann. There is no need to fight fear. Just accept it and don’t let your worries slow you down on the path to your dream.
Usually we consider fear as an unpleasant emotion, which we try to avoid with all our might. Fear literally paralyzes, so instincts willy-nilly switch to survival mode. Unfortunately, such behavior can lead to actions that have nothing to do with moving towards our goals.
Sandya Brugmann, business consultant
In other words, if you let fear control you, you may forget about success.
This is especially dangerous for entrepreneurs. Running a business can be a scary and exciting experience in itself: it involves taking on financial responsibilities, dealing with frustrated clients or employees, and realizing that the decisions you make affect not only your well-being, but also the lives of other people.
On the other hand, Brugmann notes, fear is an emotion inherent in humans by nature. You won’t be able to get rid of it once and for all, and you don’t need to.
We are not faced with the task of curbing fear and preventing its occurrence in the future. Our goal is to understand what it is and learn to act based on willpower and without burying our heads in the sand.
Richard Branson phrased the same idea a little differently.
Fear sometimes makes you wet yourself, but courage makes you act even in wet pants.
Richard Branson, entrepreneur, founder of Virgin Group
The metaphor is not the most elegant, but it conveys the essence absolutely correctly: do not give up on your dreams because of fears, just accept them as part of life. Here are some tips to help you stop being afraid and start doing something.
Don't let unnecessary thoughts take over
You will never be able to control everything that happens, but you are free to choose how to react to it. When something bad happens, we tend to look to ourselves for the cause.
For example, you worked for a long time to launch a large-scale project or negotiated with an intractable client, but in the end everything went to pieces. Does this mean that the project or idea was so-so? No. This doesn’t say anything at all about you as a person, so don’t bother yourself with reflection in vain. Think better about what the next step towards achieving your goal will be. And remember: your path to success is never tied to just one specific person or opportunity.
How to make someone afraid of you with your gaze
How to induce fear in your interlocutor and be guaranteed to win in any negotiations
Gazeta.Ru offers effective ways to ensure that in business negotiations you are not only taken seriously, but even feared as an invincible rival.
Analysts from the American psychological magazine Psychology Today conducted a study and came to the conclusion that 60% of the decision about whether to respect you is made by the interlocutor at the moment when he shakes your hand. In general, a proper handshake is a very underrated skill. Not flaccid and not too strong. The hand should not be released immediately, but it should not be held for too long. You can’t shake it, but it’s also stupid to freeze with your interlocutor’s hand clenched.
Why you need to lose weight, buy glasses and stop drinking
Now concentrate, because if you have had training in your life on proper negotiation, it is possible that it taught you one very dangerous stupidity: to give your hand slightly palm down, thereby forcing the person whose hand you are shaking under you adapt.
In such a situation, your palm is on top - and your worthless business coaches assured that this was how you showed who would be on top in these negotiations. Well, psychologists have proven that this is not only stupid, but also counterproductive.
After such an act, the interlocutor immediately ceases to respect you and take you seriously. The palm should be perpendicular to the floor, and nothing else.
An interesting scientific study was conducted at Princeton University, which found that people are wary of those who are better dressed than them (and the interlocutor makes a conclusion about whether a person is well dressed in the first 100 milliseconds of a meeting). Moreover, people do not at all connect whether a person is well dressed with the cost of his clothes. This also doesn't mean you have to always wear a jacket and white shirt.
Scientists conducted experiments in different social situations and groups. At a party, business meeting, baby shower, dinner, etc., people are wary of who is best dressed in appropriate attire in the room. So, if you are one of those people who are sure that the external pitchfork is unimportant, you are wrong.
Choose your clothes carefully and be sure that a business meeting will go much better if the interlocutor decides in the first 100 milliseconds that you are the best dressed in the room.
Scientists at Harvard University have proven what we already knew: people love to talk about themselves. But this is Harvard, so the scientists go much further. Studies have shown that when a person talks about himself, the same parts of the brain light up that light up when a person has sex or eats a delicious dinner. That is, few things in the world bring people so much pleasure. And now the main thing.
Firstly, when a person talks about himself, even if he started it himself, it strengthens his confidence that the interlocutor is trustworthy.
That is, they begin to trust you regardless of whether you give the impression of a person who would be worth trusting.
Secondly, talking about yourself makes a person much more vulnerable. So just by letting your business partner talk a little about yourself, you make him a little weaker. Ask a few questions that will provoke the other person to have such a conversation, and you are already in a winning position.
70% of 1 thousand professional negotiators surveyed by the Linkedin portal claim that as soon as the interlocutor raises his voice even a little, he ceases to inspire respect and fear. Conversely, the most feared businessmen are those who never raise their voices, and in stressful situations even begin to speak more quietly than usual.
Besides the fact that raising your voice in a business situation is a sign of poor upbringing, it is also ineffective. If you want to be respected and even feared, watch your tone.
If you can control yourself to such an extent that you can speak almost in a whisper in a situation in which anyone else would go broke, you will become the person who will inspire trembling horror in those around you.
Source: How to make a person fear you with a glance "Gazeta.Ru" offers effective ways to make sure that in business negotiations you are not only taken seriously, but even feared as an invincible rival.
https://m.gazeta.ru/lifestyle/style/2015/03/a_6597577.shtml
Learn to hear your fear
Try to recognize the signs of fear as early as possible and understand how it affects you. Yes, it's not that simple. Sandya Brugmann believes that clarifying who we really are is one of the most difficult tasks. The biggest lie, the truth of which we ourselves believe and force others to believe, is the idea of ourselves as a whole and unchanging person.
In fact, we consist of many subpersonalities. Our task is to thoroughly study each of them, finding positive features and those that are worth adjusting. There is no place for judgment here. This is just the path to growth, change, the ability to curb fear and make informed choices based on your inner strength.
The power of your gaze: how to manage people and get your way
The power of your gaze: how to manage people and get your way
Each of us has had such a situation when you look into a person’s eyes and you feel bad because of the hypnotic gaze, full of emotions, feelings and information. You can learn to “speak” with your eyes.
In general, eyes are not only a mirror of the soul, but also an excellent way to understand a person’s character. This can be done by assessing the shape of the eyes. Take the eye shape test to get to know yourself better and learn to analyze other people. Such skills are very useful when meeting new people or in work and any interaction with people. You will be able to see a person without communication, predicting his actions. Our body can tell others a lot about us, so there are a huge number of methods for analyzing character and emotions through the eyes.
Everything that we think about at any given moment is reflected by our gaze, as well as by facial expressions. This is pure psychology, known to people for about a century. Our emotions betray us: anger, hatred, embarrassment, shame, fear, love. All this can be read in the eyes and facial expressions, so you can show your feelings with your gaze. Unconsciously, we form one or another type of face, characteristic of each emotion, but you can try to emulate emotions, using the power of your gaze to awaken sympathy, fear, hatred.
The power of your gaze can be brought to such an extent that people will obey you without words. This is used in such a well-known psychological practice as hypnosis, when the doctor inspires you that there is no need to be afraid of spiders or heights, that you are happy, that you have something to live for and enjoy every day.
The power of a gaze can have not only a psychological, but also an energetic component. Human energy is an invisible aura that surrounds the body. WE feel the fear of other people or their love, but the eyes perfectly convey energy flows - almost the same way as the touch of hands. There are people who with their eyes can infect us with joy, fun, or, conversely, give us despondency. Under the gaze of some people you feel creepy, uneasy and simply awkward. Energy flows carrying information and emotions are perfectly transmitted through the eyes. Each of us has encountered a situation when you look at a person and he looks back at you, as if he knew that you were looking at him. This is direct proof that there is an energetic connection between us all, the conductor of which is the eyes.
The power of the mind and subconscious helps control destiny, so always control your thoughts. It is worth noting that not only people, but also animals can be controlled by their eyes alone, without words. They are even more susceptible to this, so you can practice on them.
So, there are two versions of how you need to look at a person in order to inspire him with something or influence some feelings. Some people think that you need to look into one eye, while others say that you need to concentrate your gaze on the bridge of your nose.
What’s most interesting is that both people are right. Masters of psychology say that the right hemisphere of the brain, which is connected to the human left eye, is responsible for conscious emotions and logic. The left hemisphere and, accordingly, the right eye are responsible for feelings and unconscious emotions.
Looking at the bridge of your nose or eyebrows, you seem to be putting pressure on a person. This may not work well with loved ones, but with colleagues or strangers it works perfectly. It feels like you are looking straight into the soul. It’s difficult to go through this calmly, which is why most people look away when they do.
So, if you want to awaken logic in a person, then you need to look into your right eye. This is the best way of business communication when everything suits you. If you want to know something, then you need to look into your left eye, since it is connected to the part of the brain responsible for feelings. When you are in love with a girl, then look into her left eye to awaken love and show your feelings, your emotions. This way you will make her feel them. If you are scared, then the other person's left eye will tell him this. If you hate a person, then he can feel it too. If you want to make a person fear you or obey you, then look at the bridge of the nose. This is a powerful tool for law enforcement officers. They are trained to do this.
That's not all. Remember about energy? Remember to think about what you want to send to the person. Your aura will do its job, don’t even doubt it. The difficulty is that you need to learn to control your thoughts. When thinking about what you want to send to a person to manage them and their emotions, you need to do it at ease. Looking too closely will make a person wary. It looks very strange when they look at you non-stop. Avert your eyes periodically and look at the person about 80% of the time you communicate. Don't forget about etiquette, as it is important. Moreover, a man looking too closely at another man is automatically perceived as a threat. For women, everything is much simpler. For them it is always love. Don't forget this.
Practice more and think less about negativity when you want to make a positive impression on someone. Energy flows will convey to him what you want, and over time your skills will become better. One of the laws of the Universe is at work here: the images in your head create reality, not only for you, but also for other people. Good luck and don't forget to press the buttons and
Source: The power of the gaze: how to manage people and get your way Each of us has had a situation where you look into a person’s eyes and feel bad because of a hypnotizing gaze, full of emotions, feelings and information. You can learn to “speak” with your eyes. https://dailyhoro.ru/article/sila-vzglyada-kak-upravlyat-lyudmi-i-dobivatsya-svoego/
Find peace in the heart of the storm
“Find a stable and balanced position within yourself and stay there as long as possible,” advises Sandhya Brugmann. This is the point of your self-confidence, and it is here that you can draw strength to pursue your goals during the ups and downs of work and personal life.
If your well-being, peace and happiness depend solely on external factors, your stress levels will be too high and will eventually become a barrier to success.
Stop being event-oriented. This way you can follow the chosen course for as long as you like. You will gain the ability to make the right decisions and stop postponing them until later, justifying yourself with fear and the stress generated by it.
Causes
Without experiencing fear, any person would lose the boundary between comfort and health risks. Therefore, it is not surprising that everyone is afraid. But it is important to think not about this feeling, but about how to make the destructive influence minimal. It is not fear that should take control over you, but you over it. It is this approach that allows you to maintain sanity in any situation.
But let's talk about the reasons. There may be several of them:
- psychological trauma inflicted in childhood;
- loss of a loved one or loved one;
- conflicts at work and in the family, frequent quarrels;
- an unexpected event that is difficult to relate to reality;
- severe and prolonged stress.
In any case, the best way to win is to analyze the original source of the sensation and get rid of it yourself. If nothing comes of this, then sign up for my personal consultation, where I will tell you and tell you what to do.
