What women should read to improve their self-esteem and ability to relate to men.
“People who read books will always control those who watch TV!” This truth is relevant even in the modern information age. Yes, of course, we can say that modern social networks are full of necessary information about different aspects of our lives, forums solve many problems with a few clicks, but it is reading books that forms a special culture and style of thinking in a person. But now we’ll outline which books women should read.
“Under the Shadow of Saturn”, D. Hollis
Hollis writes about eight secrets of male psychology, psychological trauma and how to heal it, as well as the fear that rules a man's life.
A book about how difficult it is to be a man in the modern world, to fulfill various social roles and meet expectations, is worth reading for both men and everyone who wants to understand them.
Larisa Milova
From childhood, certain expectations are placed on a man, but they are not taught to listen to himself. The author explains how to cope with trauma and learn to build trusting relationships with yourself and others. The work is supplemented with examples from his psychotherapeutic practice.
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“Education with the heart. No rules or conditions, Alfie Kohn
A book that will be useful to anyone interested in issues of child education. Its author is Alfie Kohn, a psychologist and independent researcher in the field of education and human behavior. He believes that the world's most popular approach to raising children is fundamentally wrong. Modern works and methods teach adults to defend their power and force the younger generation to meet all expectations. But, according to the author, all this is more like training animals.
In his book, he suggests approaching understanding children (and every person!) differently and answering the question: what does a child need and how can we help him get it?
Alfie Kohn makes you understand that one of the most important needs of a child is to always be loved! Even when he is wrong and makes mistakes (5 phrases that need to be said to a preschooler every day, look here). You cannot build education on rewards and punishments - with this approach, anyone will get the feeling that they are treated well only at moments when they behave correctly. In this book you will find practical tips and strategies that will help not only in raising children, but also clarify many aspects of life. Text: Anya Sherstneva
Daniel Goleman "Emotional Intelligence"
Photo source: psychologies.ru
Psychologists have long come to the conclusion that personality structure includes not only an intellectual, but also an emotional component. But before Goleman’s work, experts paid little attention to the emotional component. The generally accepted point of view was that a person is only as successful as his intelligence. Often the level of intelligence of applicants for a particular position was determined by the Eysenck test.
Daniel Goleman, Ph.D. from Harvard University, has proven that personality theory is incomplete without recognizing emotional intelligence. Often it is emotions, not intellect, that determine a person's success in society. Interestingly, Goleman was twice nominated for the Pulitzer Prize.
Goleman described the purpose of his book Emotional Intelligence as “bringing reason into the world of emotion.” He analyzes how the brain works and why feelings suppress rationality. Describes the mechanisms of formation of emotional intelligence and the dangers that await people who are unable to control their own emotions.
The book has sold more than five million copies in the United States alone.
General psychology as a knowledge base
By studying psychology and its various sections, directions and branches, you can become interested in all other sciences about man and nature: medicine, genetics, pedagogy, anatomy, physics and so on. This is because psychology unites them all.
Psychology among other sciences, if not the main one, is central , because the psyche is also a “window” through which a person looks at the world around him and the tool with which he cognizes this world.
complex psychology really is .
Yes, modern psychological authors write their books in simple, easy and understandable language, so that the reader can understand, but if you pick up a psychology textbook or open the work of a classic, it will take a lot of effort to understand what is written.
To understand the secondary and derivative, you need to know the basic . Of course, studying psychology needs to start with the basics. The main and basic course in the science of psychology is general psychology .
General psychology is a branch of the science of psychology that theoretically and experimentally studies the patterns of emergence, development and functioning of the psyche. General psychology studies the most general psychological laws and patterns, principles and methods, concepts and categories.
Why it is important to start with general psychology will become clear with an example. So, if a person wanted to become creative and started reading a book like “How to Learn to Think Creatively?”, which describes techniques and exercises, reading the book may not satisfy him. The reader, if he learns something, will learn it more mechanically than meaningfully. To understand how to think creatively, you need to understand what thinking is in general and what creativity itself is. Such basic, basic knowledge teaches a person to think independently and approach problem solving intelligently.
There are many textbooks on general psychology. As an example, we can take the wonderful textbook of the Soviet and Russian psychologist, Professor R.S. Nemov “Psychology. Book 1. General Fundamentals of Psychology ,” which is taught to students in universities.
This book describes everything that a person who decides to study psychology needs to know, for example, it has the following sections:
- The subject of psychology, its tasks and methods.
- Development of the human and animal psyche.
- Activity.
- Sensations and perception.
- Attention.
- Memory.
- Imagination.
- Thinking.
- Speech.
- Capabilities.
- Temperament.
- Character.
- Will.
- Emotions.
- Motivation.
- Communication.
- Intimate interpersonal relationships.
- Historical sketch of the development of psychology.
These are the basics, without knowing which it is impossible to say: “I know psychology.”
The role of psychology in human life
The formation of human personality occurs already in childhood by absorbing information coming from the environment. Character is built under the influence of this knowledge. In accordance with the dominant character traits, the presence of desire, a person can cope with problems or succumb to them.
Self-control is an important factor in solving all problem situations. It is difficult to unbalance a person who is able to keep his emotions under control. He is aware of appropriate behavior in society and knows how to find the approach to people necessary to achieve the target result.
Human psychology in this regard is based on a number of rules. Compliance with them is a guarantee of success:
- understanding people;
- positive relationships with others, regardless of their social status;
- respect for the interests of others;
- accepting difficulties and overcoming them;
- defending your interests, regardless of the situation;
- leaving mistakes and failures in the past after learning from them;
- constant actions aimed at achieving success;
- lack of fear of new things and responsibility.
All people sometimes find themselves in situations that require certain actions that have not been taken before. Some begin to act immediately. Others despair. Still others are waiting for the “opportune” moment. An excellent reaction to a similar situation is due to individual personal characteristics, moral principles, education, and upbringing.
A morally unstable person gives in to danger because he does not know how to behave. Instead of taking action (eg running away), he loses clarity of thought, as a result of which he becomes vulnerable.
Successful solution of problems encountered in life requires preparation for them, strengthening of the will and psyche. Awareness in the field of psychology will help solve most of these problems. Psychological preparedness for difficult situations minimizes fear, supports an adequate response to an unusual situation, and the correctness of actions.
Study of psychology: forms of training
The choice of the form of training plays no less important role in the study of psychology than everything else. But it depends on what goal you initially set for yourself. If your task is a full-fledged study of child psychology, real practice, work as a psychologist in a government or commercial institution, the best choice will certainly be a university where you can master the corresponding specialty. The training there is carried out by professional teachers, students are provided with a wide variety of practical training, knowledge is given in a clear, systematized form, proven over decades.
If the goal is simply to learn to better understand people, understand the characteristics of the human personality, master the skill of self-help and helping loved ones in difficult life situations, or simply self-development and increasing the level of one’s education and intelligence, independent studies are quite suitable.
Today, trainings and seminars on teaching psychology for non-specialists are constantly held, courses and other educational events are organized. In bookstores and the Internet you can find many worthy tutorials, study guides, programs and other materials from which anyone can learn the basics of psychology and take for themselves what they need.
We would like to pay special attention to our own free course “Human Psychology”. It is devoted to the main branches of psychological science, such as general psychology, methods of psychology, personality psychology, motivation, developmental psychology and social psychology. You can also learn from it about the best books and textbooks, many psychological effects, interesting experiments and games. And after completing the course, you will have to pass two exams: one in theory, the second in practice.
Thus, anyone can study psychology on their own. The only thing you need to understand is that you won’t be able to master this truly amazing science in a couple of days, weeks or months. Firstly, this will not be possible due to the enormous amount of information that needs to be read, studied and understood. Secondly, the acquired knowledge will definitely have to be applied in practice, which also requires a lot of time. And thirdly, the field of psychological science itself is constantly developing, becoming wider and more multifaceted, which means that you need to constantly update your knowledge base, study new trends and keep up with the times.
If you are determined to start studying psychology, it is possible that you will devote your whole life to it. But this is a worthy path, through which you will become better, smarter, more experienced and wiser. So analyze life and people, observe, build cause-and-effect relationships, ask questions and look for answers. Studying psychology is the beginning of a new life, and this life is worth living.
In conclusion, we invite you to learn even more about the benefits of studying psychology for humans. Take a break from reading, relax and take an hour of your time to watch a video with the participation of a psychologist, Doctor of Psychological Sciences, psychotherapist of the European and World Registers, author of over thirty books and teaching aids, Sergei Viktorovich Kovalev.
We also recommend reading:
- Storytelling
- Cognitive psychology and cognitive psychotherapy
- Robert Cialdini, Noah Goldstein, Steve Martin “The Psychology of Persuasion” - summary
- Reverse psychology
- False and real self-development
- Cognitive economics: the science of thinking
- Practical psychology
- Psychology of money
- Psychology of choice
- Psychology of Advertising
- Wundt's method of studying psychology
Key words:1Self-knowledge
Books about strong and rich women: a list for women
Books of similar content have always aroused healthy interest among readers. After all, the success of one of us sets an example for others. But not always all the nuances of the price of achieving wealth and fame are voiced. However, read for yourself.
Mary Kay Ash's autobiographical book tells the story of the author's path to success at the head of a huge cosmetics corporation.
Mary Kay Ash - founder of a huge corporation and author of an autobiographical book
Invariably, depending on the stage of her life, Mary Kay put Faith first, Family second, and Career third. It was these postulates, as well as the conviction that everything you believe in will definitely happen, that helped Mrs. Ash become one of the most successful and richest women in the world.
gone With the Wind
Margaret Mitchell's novel "Gone with the Wind" has rightfully occupied a special place among female audiences for many years, as a wonderful story about how, even in difficult life circumstances, a fragile, weak woman is able to achieve success and find what she wants.
Books intended for psychologists
I recommend it for psychologists. Complex and incomprehensible - a scientific work. It requires serious study and analysis of life situations in order to understand the underlying concepts.
The main book on scenarios laid down in childhood, but without additional help - you will understand and work on your own. Cool concept of internal personalities: Parent, Adult, Child - I use it all the time.
It’s difficult to read, thoughts in the style of “Deprivation is not yet frustration.” Only for advanced people. Lots of interesting ideas and comments.
If you read about “Maslow’s pyramid”, then know that this is not his doing. He talked about the hierarchy of needs. Many articles describe this pyramid and criticize it, but it is immediately clear that they have not read his 600-page work! He writes a lot of reservations and exceptions about the hierarchy of needs. Smart researcher.
Psychology: beginning of study and principles of a psychologist
The first and, perhaps, the most important step towards self-studying psychology will be to understand why and why you need to study psychology at all. First of all, it is necessary to realize and comprehend personal motives. What motivates you:
- Studying child psychology?
- Proper parenting?
- Improving relationships with others?
- Building a harmonious family?
- Achieving success in business?
- Helping people solve problems?
- Desire to grow and develop personally?
- Getting a new profession?
There can be many reasons why there is a desire to master the basics of psychology, and everyone must determine them for themselves by plunging inside themselves. Psychology is the ability to work with a person’s inner world, and you need to start with yourself.
The other side of this question is ethical: do you want to study psychology for yourself and improve your life, or to learn how to influence others? The second may seem less ethical; after all, relationships with other people are affected here. But psychology has the unique ability to change the consciousness of those who study it. And even if a “bad” person begins to do this, there is a high probability that this science will make him better, and he will re-evaluate himself, his motives, and his actions. If you manage to get through the jungle of psychology and you are imbued with it, you will definitely come to the understanding that this science is not just humanitarian, but also humanistic - it is addressed to the individual, his interests, freedoms and rights, and she loves a person. By studying psychology, a person himself becomes more humane.
But still, we must point out several principles that any psychologist must adhere to both when working with himself and when working with others:
- Competence . As a psychologist, you should not do something you don’t understand, take on something you don’t know how to do. You are allowed only what is within the scope of your responsibilities as a specialist, and only what does not run counter to ethical standards. In addition, you cannot offer your help to people only after starting to study psychology.
- Non-judgmental . You need to accept any person as he is. In no case should you “scratch everyone with the same brush” and label everyone. People who are treated this way are forever denied access to their inner world.
- Voluntariness . You do not have the right to force anyone to interact with you or impose your point of view. Everyone, at their own discretion, decides whether to work with a psychologist or not.
- Privacy . Absolutely everything you learn about other people should remain only between you and them. Disclosure of information and making it available to the public is not allowed.
- Selflessness . Everything that you learn about those with whom you will work cannot be used for the purpose of making money or obtaining other benefits, with malicious intent, etc. Otherwise, you can cause irreparable damage to another person, as well as earn yourself an unpleasant reputation.
When figuring out where to start studying personality psychology, we cannot help but say that a novice psychologist must tirelessly work on himself and develop the necessary qualities. Without knowing yourself, you can never come close to knowing anyone else.
The science of man cannot be comprehended if there is no love for man. And this love manifests itself in sincerity, the ability to put oneself in the place of another and imagine his emotions and feelings. It is equally important to have the ability for self-reflection and introspection - skills that allow you to understand your own states and actions.
Another key point for someone new to psychology is developing mindfulness. This irreplaceable quality helps you better perceive what is happening around you and your environment, establish contact, understand yourself, solve problems and work effectively with your own anxieties, fears, and complexes.
It would not be superfluous to also say about maintaining a certain distance when communicating between a psychologist and another person. Only being at some distance from the client (physical, psychological, emotional) can a psychologist objectively look at the state of his interlocutor and recognize his inner mood.
Of course, there are many other principles and rules of theoretical and practical psychology, but all of them, one way or another, lead us to the same conclusion. The study and application of psychological knowledge should be useful not only for the researcher, but also for all other people with whom the researcher interacts.
We think that you will also find this video useful, which briefly explains how to start studying psychology on your own. After viewing it, we will move the conversation to a more practical plane.
Characteristics of the term, areas of human psychology
The purpose of human psychology is to study the psyche of the individual, the features of its expression, functioning, and aspects of development. The term itself comes from Greek and means “the science of the human soul.” Over the course of its long development, it has absorbed a lot of important knowledge. Psychology began to be perceived as an independent discipline in the 19th century. She contributed to people's understanding of the nature of psychic aspects. Human psychology includes a number of areas based on the study of personal, mental, behavioral, unconscious, and moral issues. This division contributes to a detailed study of the concept of the nature of the psyche.
The term "personality" is usually used outside of psychological terminology in a different sense; for example, as a legal entity, a person who has achieved exceptional results, historical persons, persons of social status.
The term “personality” has been used in psychology since the beginning of the twentieth century. Personality (Latin “persona”) denoted the mask of ancient drama actors who performed on stage. It was associated with the external, public manifestation of the psyche, but the inner essence of a person was obscured. Later, the concept of role came into use as part of the study of social psychology.
From a psychological point of view, a personality is every person, a member of society, occupying a certain position and role in society:
- position is the special position of an individual in a social group (subordination, dominance, for example, in professional, personal life);
- a role is a combination of the expected behavior of an individual in society, set by norms and conventions (the role of a student, a nurse).
Personality is formed throughout life.
Areas of human psychology:
- Cognitive (cognitive). The goal is to consider the form of cognitive activity and its content. Human behavior is determined by the mind, the level of intelligence. This area studies the acquisition, preservation, and practical application of various knowledge.
- Associative. This direction studies the psyche based on associative methods. This area is based on the assumption that the primary role is played by feelings, under the influence of which consciousness is created. Association of complex terms with simple ones makes them easier to understand. Fixing associations ensures their repetition.
- Gestalt. The psychology of people in this sphere is based on the explanation of mental processes through certain integral formations - “gestalts”. Through thinking and perception, the senses perceive surrounding objects as integral forms.
- Humanistic. Its basis is the study of personality and human abilities. People live by their experiences and perform certain roles based on specific situations. The primary task of human life is self-improvement. He strives for higher achievements only after satisfying lower needs.
- Deep. The purpose of this field is to study the unconscious processes considered to be the driving factors of individual behavior. We are talking about psychoanalysis, founded by S. Freud. It is based on the assertion that human personality is based on instinctive, emotional processes. Psychoanalysis helps scientists determine the causes of mental phenomena.
Books to increase self-esteem
Among the many literary works, several publications that are valuable specifically for women stand out, helping to increase self-esteem and create a new view of the world. These bestsellers are in great demand. After reading such a book, the reader will receive unforgettable impressions and emotions:
- “Forest Gump” by W. Groom, on which the famous film of the same name was based. Describes that even a stupid person can achieve a lot if he has a kind soul and loves the world around him.
- “The Seagull Called Jonathan Livingston” by R. Bach. Thanks to the work, the reader will believe in his strengths and capabilities. The unusual format of the book helps to rethink the meaning of life: it describes the life of a bird that wanted to be different from others.
- S. King "The Shawshank Redemption" is the best publication for those who have lost hope and lost faith. The main thing is to be yourself and not contradict your beliefs.
Books of this kind also include “Fear and Trembling” by A. Nothomb, “The Alchemist” by P. Coelho.
Books that are not recommended for women to read: list
Everyone determines such a stop list individually, but according to experts, women, with the delicate vulnerable structure inherent in most of them, should not read books with:
- vivid scenes of violence against girls
- descriptions that degrade the role of women
- severe psychological revelations,
- cruel books about war, competition, anger and the like
Psychologically difficult books for women
However, as noted earlier, the question is very individual. A sample list includes books such as:
- Jack Kerouac "On the Road"
- Charles Bukowski "Post Office"
- Somalia Mam "Whisper of Terror"
- Cassie Harty “I was able to tell everything. Spoiled childhood"
- Knut Hamsun “Hunger”
- David Morrell "First Blood"
Popular books in economic psychology
Psychology of money
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The simplest book on financial thinking.
Written in the style of an autobiography and very addictive. I advise you to read it for those who do not understand the difference between an asset and a liability. To be financially independent, it is enough to have an income of $4,000 per month. You don’t have to be a millionaire to live happily and not think too much about making money.
The author teaches correct thinking, which is important at the beginning of an entrepreneur’s journey. The difference in the psychology of a rich person and a poor one is shown. The rich are financially literate, take risks, develop their strengths, and are results-oriented. The poor person is sure that the only way to increase income is by working harder.
Review of a book about the difference in the psychology of a rich and poor person: Review
Review of the book "Cashflow Quadrant" that will take you from poverty to wealth: Review
- The amount of money in your wallet depends on our psychology.
- Most of all, our unconscious beliefs acquired from our parents influence cash flow.
- The rich do not work for money, but make money work for themselves.
- Minimize liabilities, increase the share of assets. Asset – generates income – business, real estate for rent. Passive – generates expenses – your home, car.
- Choose a job and develop yourself in such a way that you can turn the acquired skills into an asset.
- If your job does not provide you with financial ease, look for another one.
- Restructure your psychology to the belief “Risk is a plus.” The risk must be disproportionate. You invest $1000, if you are unsuccessful, you lose money and gain experience. If successful, you receive $10,000 and experience.
Spending your entire life in fear without ever achieving a single dream is cruel. Working hard for money and thinking that it will buy you things that will make you happy is scary.
Rich people acquire assets. The poor and middle class acquire a liability that they consider an asset.
One father recommended: Study more to find a good company to work for. Another father recommended: study more so that you can find a good company and buy it.
Robert Kiyosaki is the most famous businessman in the book business of the “Psychology of Money” and “Financial Thinking” genres. It seems that Robert became rich not before writing the book, but after its publication. In his work he argues the opposite.
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Psychology of attitude towards money
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The simplest book about attitudes towards money .
I recommend reading it to those who are always short of money. The most primitive recommendations about finances are given, which poor people do not follow. Don’t spend all your money, control expenses, don’t take out loans, increase your income. Invest where you are strong. If you want to make money, and they offer you to organize a tile printing business - they will teach you everything and sell you equipment - then you are the end client of their business. They know that you can’t make money from tiles, but you can make money from selling equipment and training.
Wealth that comes quickly also goes away just as quickly. Wealth, which brings true joy and satisfaction to its owner, comes gradually, and is based on strong knowledge and hard work.
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