- October 17, 2018
- Manias and Phobias
- Daniil Belousov
In psychology there are a huge number of concepts that describe a wide variety of manias inherent in humans. Some people love to throw things around the apartment, while others will be happy to wash dishes until they shine all day long and make sure that there is not a single speck of dust in the house.
If we talk about the name of a person who loves order in everything, then in this case you can most often hear the words “neat”, “neat-spitting”, “pedant”, “neatist” and many others. As a rule, others make fun of such individuals, without even suspecting that some people have such an obsession for a reason.
general information
There are people who love order, but do not show much fanaticism. In this case there is no reason to worry. Who would blame a housewife for wanting her household to feel comfortable? It's another matter if things go to extremes. Mania for cleanliness and order is often caused by neuroses and obsessive-compulsive disorders. Therefore, it is very important to distinguish a pedant from a person obsessed with an obsession.
If we are talking about a certain type of personality, then such a pedant will be careful in everything. Sometimes such people are even considered petty, since they like to concentrate on even the most insignificant nuances both in communicating with others and in life.
People who have to have everything perfect are highly demanding. Such perfectionists are not easy to live with. To try to change the situation, you need to understand the nature of such mania (if it really causes so much inconvenience).
Psychology of persecution
Psychologists divide stalking into two types: psychotic and non-psychotic.
Non-psychotic stalking can arise due to neurosis due to unrequited love. It can be associated with borderline personality disorder (in which a person experiences attachment problems) or adjustment disorder. In such cases, long-term psychotherapy helps.
Medications are used to correct the behavior of psychotic stalkers—those who became stalkers due to bipolar affective or schizoaffective disorder.
True, in the modern world, the boundary between normality and pathology is so blurred that only the object of stalking can determine whether the cuckoo has moved away from the admirer.
“Don’t you notice that stalking is a cultural norm? - Jinnah is surprised. — It’s normal to have several numbers, throw each other on the blacklist and get them out of it. So you went through all the likes on his page and the pages of his friends to figure out his girlfriend. And then they posted a photo with the guy to make her jealous. Now let the first one calculate it by the likes on your profile. It’s clear that everyone is jealous, everyone wants a monogamous relationship, but is this a reason to get under your skin?”
We are already silent about the indispensable desire of madly in love to get the crash number and hack the correspondence. Yes, yes, this is discussed in everyday conversations over coffee or during a break between couples. Stalking has become such a part of our lives that it is no wonder that we ourselves cross the border of what is permissible—after all, there is practically none.
PS This text is written about male stalkers, because there are no official statistics on female stalkers. But the editors of “The Knife” want to understand the other side of the problem. Therefore, we ask men who have been subjected to stalking or excessively intrusive attention from women to send their stories to [email protected] with the subject “Female Stalker.” Or fill out the anonymous form here.
Perfectionist complex
Psychologists have long determined that the thirst for order and the desire to achieve the ideal in everything are very often found in the same person. People who love everything ideal live every day as some kind of test or challenge. Often in their aspirations they reach the point of absurdity. For example, such a person simply will not be able to carry on a conversation if he notices that one of the paintings on the wall is hanging crooked by several millimeters.
Often, in their desire to make the world around them ideal, such people begin to strive for 100% of everything. If they hang laundry, it must be at an equal distance from each other. Books will be arranged by color scheme or size. They often exhibit obsessions with cleanliness. Moreover, those around him get the impression that very soon the premises of such a pedant will literally become sterile.
Introduce a temporary ban on purchases
Determine the product group in which you have the most questionable items. For example, this could be clothing, interior items or cosmetics. And try not to buy anything new for a certain period. Let it be at least six months, a month is not enough.
During this period, you will understand what you really need and what was not useful. At the same time, you will have time to demolish, smear or break part of what you have. And if not, at least there won’t be more things.
Anxiety
Often people who love order too much are actually trying to hide from their own fears. When they clean the apartment or mop the floors until they shine, they begin to feel that they are able to control something. Therefore, only cleaning allows them to relax.
Most often, those who grew up in difficult conditions suffer from such mania. For example, if a child throughout his childhood saw his parents drinking alcohol, or his father and mother were forced to survive from penny to penny, then the child involuntarily realized that he could not correct the situation. Such helplessness gave rise to such dependence in him.
What motivates stalkers
According to the expert, stalking is a destructive thing in itself. >,” the psychologist emphasizes.
According to the specialist, the stalker most often shows aggression due to rejection, seeks to scare the victim, to feel that he controls her. And very rarely does he really want a relationship with the object of persecution, some kind of constructive one. >, says the expert.
According to Alisa Galats, stalking is characteristic of mentally ill people (for example, with schizophrenia), as well as completely healthy people, but with certain personal characteristics. become a stalker
in a certain situation>>,” she adds.
Chronic stress
If a person is forced to work at a job that requires maximum attention and nervous tension, then putting things in order can become a kind of outlet. Cleaning helps take your mind off things. When a person does something with his hands, he calms down faster.
Therefore, if the desire to restore order is especially acute at the end of a hard day, then you need to think about changing jobs or finding a way to relax. Often, chronic stress can also be associated with a loved one. In this case, you should think about your relationship.
Outgoing person
There are sincere and friendly people by nature, and in some cases, the presence of these qualities is required by professional duty. Some achieve the highest aerobatics in communication, they are able to be polite and friendly, even despite rudeness. This positive attitude is typically found among service industry professionals and is a preferred characteristic for a given job opening. When a consultant treats each client as a good friend or a long-awaited guest, the buyer is left with a pleasant impression and a desire to visit the store again. But these are simply the requirements of modern business, and as they say, there is “nothing personal” here. However, in everyday life you also meet friendly people. They greet an unfamiliar passerby with a smile, show attention and respect during casual communication, and are ready to help. For example, take driver solidarity. In an unforeseen situation on the road, there will definitely be a kind person who will selflessly help solve the problem with the car. Friendly people are naturally optimistic, try to look at the good first, and have a positive attitude towards all people.
Desire to be good
If a person who loves order was not very loved by his parents, then it is possible that in adulthood he is simply trying to win the warm feelings of others in such a peculiar way. The religiosity of some families should not be discounted. Purification rites often figure in the world's largest beliefs. Therefore, this automatically means that one who believes must monitor the purity of his soul and everything that surrounds him. This means order in the head and in the house.
Othello syndrome
Eugene Parmon/Flickr.com
...or pathological jealousy. A person suffering from this syndrome is constantly jealous of his beloved / his lover, even if he has no reason or reason at all.
This syndrome makes people go crazy: people constantly watch the object of their love, their sleep is disturbed, they cannot eat normally, they are constantly nervous and cannot think about anything except that they are allegedly being cheated on.
Monotony
As a rule, housewives most often suffer from this. If a woman does not work and is forced to play the role of keeper of the hearth, then she often feels resentful that all her work goes unnoticed. To draw attention to the fact that she spends no less time and effort on making the house cozy, a lady may unconsciously begin to reach the point of absurdity.
It is important for any housewife that her husband and children respect her and consider her. If this does not happen, then such a woman will begin to perfect her assigned role in order to prove that she has no equal in housework.
Throw away a certain number of things every day
This is also the idea of Flylady, however, they suggest getting rid of 27 things (the number is related to Feng Shui). You can choose any number. The point of the strategy is that every day you walk through the house and throw away a certain number of things. Candy wrappers and, say, boring trousers also count.
Of course, if you have 35 pieces of paper on your table, you don’t need to count out 27, but leave eight for tomorrow. The secret is rather that one day you will have to look for unnecessary things in order to fit into the limit. And then you will look at the objects in the house with different eyes.
What's bad about it
Many people associate a person who likes everything to be perfect with a positive personality. But you need to understand that if we are talking about dissatisfied people, then most often they are, on the contrary, embittered. By focusing on the fact that they have been underestimated, they can over time completely lose their sense of empathy and kindness.
Often people who love order unwittingly block their humanity, turning into a kind of robots or fanatics. It becomes difficult to communicate with them.
In addition, ideal order is the enemy of everything creative. If a person is never late for anything, is always dressed to the nines, and has hairs on his hair, then he is most likely incapable of fantasizing or dreaming. People around you become bored with such people.
People who love order are forced to spend most of their time cleaning. They don't know how to enjoy life. Such obsession over time deprives all joy. Such people stop thinking about loved ones and concentrate only on their mania. Therefore, you should not turn a blind eye to such problems. You need to understand how to get rid of such mania.
Lawyers
These people are only looking for long-term relationships. They are not at all interested in fleeting connections. Lawyers usually have high expectations for their partners. They carefully choose their soulmate so as not to make a mistake in their choice. They are not attracted to superficial, fickle people at all because they are unreliable.
Lawyers are looking for people with a rich inner world; they need depth of feelings, sincere, honest relationships. In return, they are ready to offer all their love, care, affection, and attention. But do not forget that they usually do not forgive mistakes and require the same attention and complete dedication. The most interesting thing is that if the partner does not meet the requirements, the lawyer leaves.
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Treatment
The most effective way is to seek help from a specialist. Mania for order, as a rule, appears against the background of psychological problems. Only a specialist will be able to find the exact cause of such an obsessive state and propose a treatment program.
Cognitive behavioral therapy shows good results. Thanks to it, the specialist is able to slightly correct the characteristics of the consciousness of a person for whom everything should be perfect, and aim him at other, more important things. The main goal of such treatment is to change the way of thinking, habits or entire lifestyle.
If this does not help or the patient wants to take the path of least resistance, then hypnosis can be used. In a state of deep sleep, the necessary key points are instilled in the patient.
Both methods are popular. But it is important that the procedures are carried out exclusively by a professional.
Make decluttering mindful.
Although we are talking about things, the emotional component cannot be underestimated. It happens that an object lingers in the house because it is associated with some memories for you. Or you realize how much you spent on an item and can’t get rid of it. To overcome emotional attachment, you should approach the matter rationally. Now it's just something that doesn't do any good, doesn't cost you anything, and clutters up your home.
You shouldn't throw away all sentimental items: memories are important. Just limit the volume of memorabilia. For example, set aside a small box for them. If souvenirs no longer fit there, you should get rid of some of them.
How to get rid of mania on your own
Most often, a person just needs to relax and not think about problems or anything else for a while. Aromatherapy is the best way to help with this. A few drops of oil are enough to be applied to a special candle - and a calming smell will spread throughout the apartment.
Preference should be given to lavender-based formulations. This aroma has a positive effect on the functioning of the central nervous system. Also, the smell of this oil will help overcome insomnia.
You can also buy orange oil. Its aroma helps improve your mood. Additionally, it helps restore strength and recharge your batteries.
Some people use bergamot oil. The smell of this composition stimulates the production of the so-called happiness hormone. The person becomes calmer. Signs of severe nervous tension disappear.
You can also give preference to mint. It has excellent aromatic properties. Its aroma calms and relieves depression.
Dorian Gray Syndrome
zeondp/Flickr.com
This syndrome affects many young people who are able to throw all their energy, money and their own time into the pursuit of external youth and beauty. This becomes their main goal in life.
This syndrome is familiar to readers from Oscar Wilde's novel The Picture of Dorian Gray.
This syndrome often has a very negative effect on the human psyche and leads to other mental disorders.
Is it better to be a slob?
If the desire for cleanliness is a mental problem, then can people who litter their apartments and live like in a barn really boast nerves of steel? Of course no. In everything you need to know when to stop. Any behavior taken to the point of absurdity can easily develop into mania. Therefore, we need to find a balance.
You need to find time for yourself, your loved ones and loved ones. You shouldn’t get nervous over trifles and allow yourself to become nervous. But this does not mean that you should start the house. If the paintings hang unevenly but the apartment is clean, then no one will accuse the owner of being unclean. But constant chaos can bring no less problems into life than any addiction.
How the system works
In general terms, the work scheme has already been presented above. Credit cards have an internal chip that emits radio waves through an antenna, the same ones that are recognized by RFID technology. The terminal itself is equipped with a reader that captures data.
When the client brings his “plastic” to the trading equipment a short distance, the signal from the medium is read and identification data is processed. At the same time, small purchase amounts do not require any additional confirmation at all; for large purchase amounts, you must enter a PIN code.
You need to hold the card at the bank terminal for a couple of seconds. This time is enough to obtain all the necessary information and transfer it to the acquiring center. So that the buyer knows exactly when to remove the payment instrument, the device emits a sound signal.
Use your camera
Finding junk at home isn't always easy. You look at the room, and it seems that it is in complete order. But if you photograph it, some imperfections will definitely catch your eye. There is a ball lying behind the sofa, the bedspread does not fit into the interior, there are clearly more items on the shelf than necessary. Looking through the camera will not always help you find unnecessary things, but it will definitely point out those that are not in the right place.
Taking pictures will help you sort out your wardrobe no less effectively. While you are holding the thing in your hands, it may seem great to you. If this impression remains in the photo, it was not by chance that she appeared in the closet. But it is possible that you will be disappointed after looking at the pictures. And things that don't make you happy have no place in your home.
